Ask the Readers: How Much Do You Spend on Gifts?
Published on - November 4th, 2011 (Modified on - November 30th, 2011) (by J.D. Roth) As Kris and I near the end our trip to Peru, we’ve begun to make preparations for our return home. That means shopping.
I spent some time today buying books, for instance. Keeping in mind my recently-drafted guidelines of what to buy, I picked up a couple dozen Spanish translations of classic novels and popular children’s books. 
These books are all tiny (about the size of a religious tract) and cost only S/1.50 each, which is about fifty cents. I now have practice material for months to come!
The shopping Kris did today was more practical. She went in search of socks. Not for herself, but for other people. Christmas is coming, and buying gifts in a place like Peru is a fun change of pace. Plus, it’s cost effective. By shopping for Christmas gifts here, she’s able to stretch her budget. (Obviously, it wouldn’t be cost effective to fly all the way to Peru to do Christmas shopping; but it’s frugal to do so while we’re already here!)
As I’ve mentioned before, my family has interesting way to cope with holiday spending. Every adult spends no more than five dollars to buy a gift for each other adult. This makes it a challenge to find interesting items throughout the year. I often do my shopping at summer garage sales, for instance. This year, the bulk of my shopping was done at markets in Peru and Zimbabwe.
Christmas isn’t the only gift-giving occasion in our lives, of course. There are birthdays and weddings and anniversaries and graduations and promotions. And sometimes it’s fun to give a friend something just for the heck of it.
Not long ago, a friend of mine confided that his wife’s spending on gifts was out of control. “We spent more last year on gifts than we spent of food for our family,” he told me. I think part of this is because the lady in question is generous, but part of it is because she doesn’t want to look bad. For some people, it’s very important to remember the birthdays and anniversaries of everyone in their lives, and to do so with gifts.
I fall on the frugal side of gift-giving. Yes, if I see something that’s perfect for a friend or family member, I’ll buy it for them, even if it’s expensive. But that happens rarely. Most of the time, I’d prefer to drop an e-mail or to send a card or to take them out to lunch. As a percentage of my income, my spending on gifts in miniscule — and certainly far less than my spending on food.
What about you? How much do you spend on gifts? Not just Christmas gifts, but all gifts? How do you budget for this spending? How do you decide what to give and to whom to give it? What shopping habits do you have to make the most of your money? Most of all, what sorts of tips and tricks can you pass on to your fellow GRS readers?
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No kids, so it makes Christmas spending pretty easy. For each other, plus all other family members, we spend about $500.
For birthdays, we take each other out to a nice dinner and spend about $75 on gifts. Gifts for each other are paid for by saving up our “fun money” throughout the year.
I do cards and phone calls for birthdays for my family, unless we’re celebrating a milestone birthday (in which case, I usually like to spend the same amount as the age – a weird anal retentive thing I do).
Christmas spending is budgeted for as part of our “once yearly” expenses. All other gifts are handled as they come (weddings, milestone birthdays).
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I love gift cards. Anyone who doesn’t like gift cards can send them my way!
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For the grown-ups (in both my husband and I’s immediate family, meaning parents and siblings/spouses) we do a name draw/secret santa using http://www.elfster.com for Christmas. It’s fantastic. We spend $50 for our ‘person’ that we are santa for. So instead of having to buy for 11 adults, we buy for 4. Each person puts up a ‘wish list’ and the $50 ensures that you get something you really want that is actually nice, rather than a bunch of little things that you really could less about and that will end up at Goodwill. We’ve done this for a number of years now. We buy for all the kids though since they are fun to buy for. That is about a $20-30 limit for most, though the grandparents always buy more. I put a wishlist on Amazon for the kids for those that want ideas. This is also a good way to fend off the ‘gimmies’ from my boys. When they beg for something at the store, I tell them I can put it on the wish list for their birthday or Christmas. It works pretty well. We don’t buy for all our Aunts/Uncles/cousins…it would just be too much.
For birthdays, we buy for our parents (about a $30-40 limit) and all kids (around $20-25). We gave up exchanging with siblings since many live overseas and it was getting too expensive. My husband and I rarely even exchange gifts…we just go out on a date night.
For overseas buying though, we have recently discovered http://www.bookdepository.com, which is fantastic…free shipping almost everywhere. This helps us a LOT.
For my kid’s friend parties, I generally stay around the $10 mark…less if I can swing it. We don’t exchange gifts with our friends either…we are all on budgets. We’d rather just go out with them or have them over for drinks. Far more fun.
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My plan is pretty easy. Give practical gifts that are fairly inexpensive. I buy gifts for my side of the family only. Hubby does the same for his side. It’s a long story about how we ended up doing it this way, but it works for me.
This year, I cut my holiday list down to my hubby, 2 kids, sister and family, mom and a doctor. Hubby may get cologne ($30), kids get 2 t-shirts each ($60 total), sis wanted a $50 restaurant gift card for her family, mom gets a fruit basket ($18) and doc gets a fruit basket ($18).
For birthdays, the gift is $20 or less. I give cash, a gift card or an item that the person requested. I only buy for my kids, hubby and sister on that day.
I give my mom for mother’s day a card with $3 in lottery tickets. I don’t buy teacher gifts.
I buy discontinued items (requested ones!) from ebay. I look for free shipping coupons from online retailers.
I will bake cookies and cakes on occassion. Not so much for holidays or birthdays, but to celebrate a co-worker or reward a great mechanic or helper. Usually, the cost for that is $5 or less to buy the ingredients.
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I don’t have a budget for gifts – I suppose it varies from year to year. But generally, about $30 for my parents and sister, and $10 each for my 5 little cousins, all under the age of 10 and all who know one another – I try to keep that fair. I’m always a fan of giving and receiving food as gifts, since its consumable, and if I’m given something I don’t care for, I can share it at work or with friends. More difficult at the holidays is the focus on all things sweet – candies, cookies, cake – since I like them a little to much! Instead, as gifts for work and other casual friendships, I dehydrate a large number of apple – bulky when dried and inexpensive – along with pieces of other fruit, and put them in gift bags. They have met with lots of success – healthy, low cal, simple enough that its doesn’t require the other person to give a gift if they aren’t into gift, and homemade enough to be considered really thoughtful. My mom sends me dried fruit from her plum and apple trees in the fall, and I always look forward to it.
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With my young nieces and nephews I always just send them the amount they are turning starting at 5 years old they get $5, 6 yrs old get $6, etc (the younger ones get a little toy or outfit). Once they get to high school I send them $20. Even though they are all getting different amounts, it still seems equal since it’s based on their age. They seem to think it’s fun and my sister does the same for my kids and they appreciate it.
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My mother sends me money—I would much rather have the plums!
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I come from a long line of extravagant gift givers, and it took me years to unlearn those behaviors. I find that I pick up gifts if they are perfect, and I otherwise feel an obligation to buy for family members who are still in the extravagant mindset. I have recently been asking for gifts of time–having someone teach me to knit or cook a special dish–but it hasn’t gone over well.
Luckily, my husband is on the same page with me and we give each other gifts based on fun challenges (this year’s Hannukah present has to start with the letter P and cost less than $10) or based on what we ask for if it’s a big occasion. (We each told the other what we wanted for our 30th birthdays). The idea that it’s necessary to find a perfect gift that is a total surprise is not how we’re living our life, even though that is still how my family wants things to be done.
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I’m cheap. I rarely give gifts. We choose to not celebrate holidays. Gifts we give are for baby showers, weddings, graduations, etc. but I try to keep them at $20. I usually look for stuff on their registries and creatively find the same items for less than it costs at Bed Bath & Beyond using coupons and such.
DH loves exchanging anniversary presents. Last year we had a $40 budget each. This year $74. Don’t ask. =) It was hard and I went a little over budget but I was able to use part of my monthly allowance to cover the difference. Besides, it was the cost of shipping. so I didn’t feel bad about going over.
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For gifts for my parents or siblings, I spend about $30-$40 a piece for birthdays and Christmas. For close friends, my godparents (Christmas only), and my sister in law, I’d say maybe $15-$20 each. For others like co-workers or not as close friends but that I’d have to get something for then maybe around $10 each?
For a bridal shower, around $25-$30, baby shower: $40-$50 and more for very close friends and weddings: too many variables, it varies!
Also, when it comes to my siblings, I’ve bought things for them on many occasions like back to school, running a half marathon, getting driver’s license, etc etc. Something that goes with the occasion.
Most of the time I love finding the perfect gift and love to spoil my siblings!
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I have the Christmas book and have kept track of my spending for years. Spending has crept up slowly, but the number of people receiving has decreased. We give to the niece and nephew and not to their parents. They give to my kids and not to us. We give to the MIL and his sister and that’s the most we spend. Our kids are getting flat screen televisions and that will be it, as it is a major purchase. There will be stockings and some nice things in those. Hubby and I shop together to give us an idea of what we want. There is always a surprise, but we have reached the point in our lives, if we want it and it’s a reasonable price, we get it.
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I’m excited I actually think I have a great gift idea for family this year. I am creating a family calendar through shutterfly. I added everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries and dropped the corresponding photos into those boxes on the calendar. Plus on the cover and top of each month I can add more family photos. I’m planning to give this to my my hubby, my parents, and each of my 3 siblings’ families. They cost about $20 each and I think that’s well worth the money, they’re functional and thoughtful. We like to all try and send cards for everyone’s birthdays so this is a good way to help keep track. I plan to also add all of the birthdays for my husband’s side to our calendar. I figure if my family likes the gift I can just do it again next year and they can get me their in-laws info to add to it, to make it complete.
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Since my daughter was born, every year, I’ve given my in-laws and assorted adult family members a book of photos of my daughter. I take enough pics that I usually have one photo per month.
I, too, use Shutterfly, and have found that if you’re careful, you can use a coupon code for full price for the first book, and half-price for all the other books, which saves beau-coup dinero!
I’ve gotten photographic ceramic ornaments for 99 cents each from Artscow.com too, and they’re much appreciated!
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I try and only spend $50 person (parents, siblings and nephews). I bought my husbands gift using credit card points. I have a closet full of toys for my son but will only give him two or three at Christmas (he’s not yet two so I don’t think a pile of presents will mean anything to him) and i also have a set of outdoor tools for him for Hanukkah.
I have to hold back though. I want a pile of presents FOR him because that’s what I wanted and it’s hard to resist the urge to go crazy. I just want to give him everything :/
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I love this question because I really struggle with this! My husband & I have 3 children. Between all of the birthdays throughout the year (theirs and all the parties they attend), plus mothers day, fathers day, weddings, Christmas, etc, we spend about $3000/year. I believe we actually spent more in the past, but for the last year on a budget, we have put aside $250/mo to cover this. And I still feel this is going to leave us a bit short at Christmas, but we will tighten things up! To answer JD’s question regarding percentage of income spent on gifts, we spend about 3%. I’d love it if others would share their percentages as well so that we can compare apples to apples. Thanks!
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I spend $2000 on Christmas gifts each year, and another $4-500 or so on other gifts. That’s about 1% of my income.
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We are now a one income family (a modest one at that). We have two kids, aged 5 and 1. We have two nieces, also aged 5 and 1. My husband’s family is big into gift exchanges and we were told off last year when we arrived without a gift for his 17 year old first cousin. His family gives to all the kids under 18. We thought that meant that the kid’s aunts and uncles gave gifts— not the kid’s cousins. We were told by my husband’s aunt (the 17 year old’s mom) that we were supposed to have brought “cash or a gift card”. Excuse me? Well, we are not going to the extended family Christmas this year, thankfully, as our daughter’s recital is that day.
In any case, we spend about $300 yearly on all gifts. Birthday for my two nieces and my two kids, Christmas for my two nieces and my two kids. My husband and I do not exchange gifts. I do fill up Christmas stockings for us though, but with little treats like beef jerky or fancy soap or whatever I get for free with coupons. For the grandparents, they get a framed 8×10 of the family / kids. I shop clearance sales, yard sales, rummage sales, thrift stores and holiday clearance sales and I am very crafty and make a lot of gifts by hand.
This year for Christmas, my 5 year old is getting a huge tub of Legos- I bought about half from a garage sale this summer for $1. The other half is what my husband and I had when we were kids. She will also get two Melissa and Doug toys that I got free with gift cards from Swagbucks, and her stocking stuffers are Target clearance goodies. My 1 year old will get a play mat / rug that I made of felt. One side is a farm and the other is a road for racing his toy cars on. He will also get a Melissa and Doug toy I got free with giftcard and some bath toys I got on clearance after Christmas last year. My nieces will get backpacks filled with art/craft stuff that I got during the summer school supply sales and the back packs were free after rebate. I also filled up 6 boxes for Operation Christmas Child using these types of items. So my kids and family get nice gifts and we give to others on a very modest budget.
The $300 is about 0.7% of our income. Obviously this does not include charitable giving/tithe which is 10%.
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My family all lives far away and so I usually spend more on shipping than I do on the gift. I send cards and for the kids, the amount of years they have for birthdays. That will grow but I send dollar bills so it looks like more. I used to send my pirate grandson golden dollars in a box but they are getting harder to find. Birthdays cost me $35 this year with cards and postage.
For Christmas this year I sewed barbie doll outfits for each granddaughter, made American girl mattresses and bedding sets and carved a dragon relief onto a pirate treasure box I found for $2for my grandson. They also get books from our local museum. For the grownups I send a book that suits their interests and one handmade item. My parents overdid the whole gift giving thing when their first grandchild (my daughter and their mother) was born. I keep it simple to be an example of enough is enough. I do wrap things up separately so it looks like more under their tree. I will spend about $200 this year all total on gifts and postage. I only have a partime job and intentionally live on a net of $950 per month. I do my shopping throughout the year or repurpose fabric and wood and buy my supplies and books when they are on clearance.
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I come from a family that is both cheap and not close to each other, and we all agreed years ago to skip the gift-giving completely for birthdays and Christmas, which considerably reduces our stress. We call each other on the holidays and chat and wish each other well. My friends are all baby-boomer age, have lots of stuff, and don’t want any more (unless it’s consumable, like quality beer or soap). So gift-giving is largely limited to DH and DS (age 14).
I’ve never kept gift-giving to a budget since I focus more on buying what they actually want, and that fluctuates from year to year. DS wants a video-camcorder and I bought a used one for $200; since that’s the “big” present, he’s unlikely to get anything more from me. However, his dad (DH) will buy him some video games and books, and I know DS will be so thrilled with the camcorder that he won’t care that that’s all I gave him. DH is a collector, and our local comic book shop keeps a box for him and other regulars to hold desired items until they come in to pay, and DH asked me to just pick up whatever’s in his box that I’m willing to buy (lately this means pricey books on cult films and comics, so it’ll be about equal to DS’s gift).
When DS was in elementary school, I got $20 Amazon gift certificates for his teachers, and since this meant music/violin teachers and special-ed (he went to a rather unique school), this ran into serious $$$. Now that he’s in high school and has something like 8-10 teachers including SPED and after-school, I bake several sheet cakes and send them in with a heartfelt thank-you note to all of them; since my baking is decent and they’re predominantly in their 20′s and thin, this goes over well.
Finally, DH & I started a family tradition of the Dursley Gifts, born some years back when he complained that we were so broke that all he could afford to buy me was the kind of crap that Harry Potter got from the Dursleys. Each year, one gift has to be under $15, horrible, hilarious, but not (too) mean-spirited. Past Dursley gifts have included a 6-inch high statue of two pigs in bikinis kissing (I have no idea), a nose-hair trimmer (he used it), a Chinese import set of plastic superhero figurines with unfortunate Engrish labeling, a craft of a wax-head elf in an old slipper called “Sleepy Shoe-Elf” only the face looked like Munch’s “The Scream”, and a small lamp shaped like women’s breasts and the on-off switches were the nipples. The gift tags always read “To Vernon Dursley, from Petunia Dursley” or vice-versa, so we know what we’re in for. DS gets Dursley gifts too, “To Harry Potter from Vernon (or Petunia) Dursley” – usually underwear or something My Little Pony or equally cringe-worthy.
Fortunately for us, we have friends who always have a party on Christmas Night: a Yankee Yule Swap bring-your-worst-gift-to-regift event, so our Dursley gifts are usually rewrapped and taken along. We have a reputation for having the worst gifts at the Swap.
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I have a set budget for birthdays and Christmas. $40 each for my mom and dad, $20-40 for my cousin (I only buy for the one cousin, who is more like my sister), $10 for birthdays and $20 for Christmas for my 6 nieces and nephews, $10-20 for my sisters and brother-in-law and $20-40 for my 2 sets of grandparents. My three closest friends and I treat each other for dinner for birthdays or just because. Other than this, I give the random “this is perfect for you” gift to friends and family, but most of my spending is confined to birthdays and Christmas. If my budget is tight, then I cut gifts to my cousin and siblings – they always understand. I also spend about $40-100 for Mother’s Day and Father’s day.
I always give the kids gifts (or cash), because they’re kids.
I always give my parents gifts because they do so much for us and special occasions are about the ONLY time they’ll accept gifts from us kids without making a big deal of it. 
These are my only gift-giving consistencies. We’re all adults, so if the money isn’t there for gifts one year or another, no one is making apologies and no one is having a fit over it. We all enjoy giving gifts though and try to be thoughtful with it – but again, no one is bothered if a gift is returned.
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I loove to give gifts but even without giving extravegant gifts its getting harder and harder to afford so I have had to cut back.
I save through the Christmas club at my credit union and my budget it $520. This pays for maybe 12-15 gifts plus treats to out-of-town relatives, the tree, cards, postage, any decor I buy, and two luncheons where I exchange gifts with friends.
Birthday gifts are usually in the $25 range. Wedding gifts $50-$100 depending on how well I know the couple.
I am not opposed to buying or receiving gift cards. I would much rather have a gift card–even if it shows little thought, than some other gift that shows little thought. Someone above mentioned mugs. I am single. I have 17 mugs. Get me the gift card . . . please!
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Because our family was spread out across the country when I was growing up, our relatives mostly sent checks for birthdays and most Christmases. I now do the same — a check is always able to be used for whatever the recipient could use or want-plus it doesn’t cost extra to ship. I typically budget $50-$100 per person, or more, depending on the occasion. I know there are mixed feelings about this but I see no problem with it, particularly when the gift goes to a young couple with a baby on the way or a student away at college. I am generous with immediate family; they have helped me so much over the years, to me it is a way to pay back their generosity. A gift of money is useful in so many ways; it may help someone pay off a small debt or help with a medical visit or help build a vacation fund.
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I’m stunned to read all the amounts people spend on gifts!
Perhaps this is a cultural thing though, as I’m from the Netherlands.
Christmas is not such a big thing here, we’ve got “Sinterklaas” (which is where Santa came from) which is mostly a kids things (whom I don’t have). And the adults draw names and make a very intricate giftwrap to hide the gift in (think fake books hiding pencils, icecream carts with some small gifts hidden in it. The normal budget for this is between 10 and 15 dollars. This is for an entire holiday season worth of gifts. But it does add the effort (and some money) to create the ‘surprise’-gift wrapping and the mandatory poem. (Santa has been thinking, what gift would be your inkling and so on)
As for birthdays we’ve agreed with friends and most family to skip birthday gifts as quite frequently you spent money on a gift the person doesn’t necessarily wants. It’s just such a waste of money. This only does not apply to kids (nephews and nieces), it’s hard to explain. Although as they get plenty of toys from grandparents I always give them money to save up for something they really like. (Which was funny with my 3 year old niece who asked, after I gave the money to her, why she didn’t get a present from me)
With 6 nephews and nieces that adds up to about 30 dollars +holiday budget is a grand total of under 50 dollars of gifts.
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Our nephews and nieces are mostly grown. One grown son. We don’t exchange gifts anymore,just cards and emails etc. Our folks are too old to enjoy the Harry and David gifts we used to send.. my mother in law said “Stop.”
Our family “GIFT” is: our son and us rent a small condo in Sedona for christmas time on VRBO and go hiking,cook meals in and enjoy ourselves.
I buy book store gift certificates at a LOCAL INDEPENDENT book store for $25 for our christmas gifts to our staff at work and for a couple of good girl friends.My husband and I usually give gifts of services, like kitchen clean up, housecleaning, massages for one another, and sometimes restaurant gift certificates. (locally owned.)
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I spend $10 for a kid’s birthday, $15 for an adult’s. $25 for Christmas gifts for immediate family (7 adults). That’s it, really. So far this year, I’ve spent $305 on gifts, which is 0.3% of our income. We donate far more to charity, actually.
However, I’m known for being generous. Mostly, I donate my time and effort–and people really appreciate it! Soup for a sick stay-at-home-mom friend is always welcome, for example.
I have, in the past, bought plane tickets for a needy friend to visit her ill father, paid tuition & fees for a last-minute required course for a poor college student friend, donated items to my daughter’s school, and picked up random items for friends. Those are few and far between.
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I spent my holidy shopping season in Central America last year. Cancun to Panama City. I ended up doing all of my Christmas shopping while on my trip and the only difficulty was trying to decide what I wanted to keep for myself and what I was willing to give away. In the end I think I made the right choices. . .I don’t have anything that I regret giving away. . .The art in Central and South America is so beautiful and unique, it’s perfect for gifts.
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