Comments on: Reader Story: What My Father’s Death Taught Me About Estate Planning

By: Evan Guthrie Law Firm

Evan Guthrie Law Firm — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 19:46:31 +0000

A little work and planning ahead of time will save family members greater work, time, hassle, and money down the road. Estate planning is more for those left behind than for oneself.

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By: Don

Don — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 22:08:36 +0000

Jody,

Thank you for your story. This is an amazing testament to being prepared and planning ahead. I will share your story with my clients, and I believe it will help many of them to understand the importance of planning.

Thank you.

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By: Araceli Dugo

Araceli Dugo — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 16:43:01 +0000

You need to get an attorney to help you navigate this. It’s possible that he will be asked to maintain your health coverage if you can show that there is a preexisting condition that would disqualify you from obtaining other insurance coverage. But, whether or not his insurance company would permit you to remain on the policy after divorce would also come into play. Your child will most certainly qualify to remain on his coverage. As for keeping the house, you would have to show that you are able to maintain the mortgage. If you live in a community property state, you may also have to pay your soon to be ex his half of the equity in the home to be able to keep it. There are so many variables that can come into play, especially given your disability, that I think you’ll be much better off getting advice from an attorney in your area. Many attorneys offer a free initial consult. Call around and find one who will do this. Have a list of your questions ready and ask them so you can have reliable advice on them. Good luck to you.

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By: Joyce miller

Joyce miller — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:42:06 +0000

Very inspiring! I just lost my father at a pretty young age. I will use this for my kids one day.

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By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 09:58:54 +0000

Thank you for such a helpful story. After my father passed, things were a financial mess. As my mother is reaching her final years, I can plan things with her now to help avoid the mess with my father. I had no idea where to start. Thank you!

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By: ElleX

ElleX — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:35:07 +0000

My condolences to you and your family on the transition of your Father.

Thank for your story. You included some aspects that I never thought of. I will definitely be putting together a binder for not only my parents but myself.

Thank you, again!

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By: John Hughes

John Hughes — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:07:43 +0000

Condolences on the loss of your father. I do have a question. Not sure if this is the way to ask, but I’ll give it a try. Are there any tax implications from being a joint signer on your father’s bank accounts?

Again sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing your story.

John

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By: Jim

Jim — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 17:08:16 +0000

I’m sorry for your loss. Your dad’s story made my eyes water. What a great dad!

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By: Diana Young

Diana Young — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 16:28:58 +0000

What a great story. Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man and is proof that the greatest legacy a parent can leave a child is a good education. You obviously were a loving daughter who deserved his trust and the responsibility he left you. Thanks again for sharing. Diana

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By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 19:14:20 +0000

I really appreciated you sharing this, even after such a great loss, your dad continues to give a wonderful gift…a strong example to follow.

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By: Kristen

Kristen — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 03:35:57 +0000

I have tears in my eyes from reading your story. I lost my dad 18 months ago and he sounds a lot like your dad. We are both so lucky to have had such wonderful dads. I am sorry for your loss.

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By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:38:31 +0000

A wonderful man with a wonderful legacy; thank you for sharing.

This post was recommended to me by one of my clients. (I am a financial professional.) The best gift a person can leave their children is what this father gave, a written plan. It’s not easy, but everyone should talk to their parents concerning legacy/estate planning before the time comes.

It is a difficult topic, but even more so when your loved one is facing the terminal illness and refuses to discuss such things. Plan ahead so those last remaining months/weeks/days can be spent together in love and not frantically tying up loose ends. I too speak from experience.

Thank you again for baring this personal part of your life.

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By: LN

LN — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:29:06 +0000

Wow. Thanks for sharing, and sorry for your loss. My mother-in-law passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. We are working on estate planning for my father-in-law. It’s definitely a complicated and lengthy process.

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By: Courtney

Courtney — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:11:02 +0000

What a touching story and a wonderful gift from father to daughter. My parents are both in good health but I’m saving this article for the (hopefully-distant) future. So sorry for your loss, Jody, but thank you for sharing your experience!

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By: Monevator

Monevator — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:30:20 +0000

Jody’s heartening story from very sad roots seems to have inspired a second gift in this thread on colonoscopies.

I was saddened to read of Jody’s father being diagnosed so soon after retiring. We went through the same thing with my father. Just horrible timing, after so long doing the right thing.

Jody, sorry for your loss and thanks for turning it into a gift!

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By: Jasanna

Jasanna — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:02:41 +0000

Your father sounds like such a prepared man! I’m so glad to learn from you (and him!) about how to better prepare my family for the future, as well as how to be wise with my money. I can see the exact opposite example with the home I am living in. I am renting it from the executor of will, of the lady whom I used to take care of. They did not start a living trust, but had a will, and everything was in disarray. Her deceased husband’s name was still all over the bills, there were properties underwater, in other states, etc. It has been 2+ years since she passed, and still the process is not close to being over. It would have been so much easier on the family had she been better prepared.

Thank you!!

http://munchtalk.blogspot.com

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By: Natasha

Natasha — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:28:48 +0000

Thank you so very much for posting this experience. I’m 37 and almost died once from a brain issue, with 5 teen and grown sons, and I have been playing around with my funeral plans for some time with no true focus. This post has helped give me a little more direction and motivation to finish the plans that I have started. Thank you!

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By: Eric

Eric — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:14:38 +0000

Even though there were arrangements in place, handling an estate can take many hours of one’s time and it can be a year or more before all is taken care of…especially if one’s parent was a business owner! It’s been over a year and I’m still not done closing things up. The more that can be arranged ahead of time the better!

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By: betsy

betsy — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 02:12:07 +0000

Your dad sounds like the kind of person who took pleasure from knowing his affairs were in order, and that you would be there to take care of things. I’m sure it was comforting to him to have these arrangements made. Some children don’t want to hear about these things, since it feels like somehow they’re after their parents’ money, but as a parent thinking about how to do this, I like knowing I’ve had these conversations with my adult children. Even if they don’t want to hear about it! Don’t push your folks off when they want to talk about these things, people! If your parents bring them up, consider yourself lucky.

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By: Eric

Eric — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:38:58 +0000

I wholeheartedly agree. I also lost my dad just over a year ago. He hadn’t been quite so thorough as your father, however, he did make sure there were resources for me to transition through his death and the settling of his estate. Wow, have I learned some great lessons to prepare for my kids future after I am gone! Thanks for a great article about a subject no one really wants to talk about until it’s too late!

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By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:58:43 +0000

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my own father a few years ago, and “brutal” is the perfect way to describe it.

How wonderful, though, that he had the foresight to plan all of these things out in advance, and what a wonderful lesson to pass on to his family. Thanks for sharing your story

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By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:35:08 +0000

This is one of the best things I’ve read in a while. Thank you for sharing it.

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By: A-L

A-L — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 23:22:03 +0000

I was just going to pass over this article because I just didn’t see the need (or have the interest) in reading about dealing with the financial realities of death. But boy, am I glad I did. This was really informative and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

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By: honeybee

honeybee — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:19:19 +0000

Wow. Your dad is a total inspiration. This is an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing.

I wish my dad had left his affairs in order. In spite of 4 heart attacks/strokes, he left his affairs in shambles. Before he died he left everything to his new wife and cut me out of the will. Fine — she has to be the executor, and there’s probably nothing left, after many years of unemployment and other very poor financial decisions. More than two years on since his death, and she still has not reconciled his estate and affairs. I’m still pretty ticked off at dad for deferring thinking about the truth of life and shoving it on to the people he loved.

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By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:56:41 +0000

Very sorry for your loss. It makes you think of your parents preparation and your own. This is really a wonderful tribute to your father who did everything he could to make things easier on you and your family.

This will truly help me as I deal with an elderly parent.
Thank you.

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By: ann allison

ann allison — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:44:39 +0000

What a wonderful article. My husband recently passed away quite unexpectedly from a heart attach. We never made any plans in the event of one of our deaths. I cannot begin to express the confusion and stress on top of grieving that this has caused me and my children. He had a business and I didn’t even know how to access anything on his computer. I can go on and on but it’s important to learn to plan. I am currently getting long term care insurance, another very important thing for all of us to consider. No one knows when an unexpected tradegy will occur and it is mandatory to have things prepared so that our families will not suffer the unimaginable tragedy of dealing with finances and arrangements on top of our loss. Thank you for your article. Best Regards, Ann Allison

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By: VJ

VJ — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:02:59 +0000

I echo the sentiments of not waiting to get a colonoscopy. My father discovered he had stage 4 colon cancer two and a half years ago, and I am thankful he is still with us, although it’s been a rough journey for him, especially now as he must continue chemo treatments every two weeks for as long as he lives, and the chemo is as awful as the cancer. He and my mother used this as an opportunity to get all of their affairs in order as well, down to planning their funerals and writing their obituaries, and I and my siblings are very grateful for this. My father’s oncologist recommended that his children start getting colonoscopies at 40, which we have done. Thank you for sharing your story, Jody.

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By: CincyCat

CincyCat — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:13:27 +0000

I am so sorry for your loss, but your story was just wonderful. How great that your Dad did what he knew would make it easy on you and your family.

My grandmother wasn’t the “planner” that your dad was, but she, too, insisted that I meet her attorney, banker, etc. in person. She also added me as a POA to her checking account, and made me DGPOA over her finances.

As a result, during her final illness, it was easy for me to walk into the bank with her bills, greet the bank manager by name, have them cut the checks for me, then go straight to the post office & mail them (she didn’t “trust” online banking…).

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By: KatieC

KatieC — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:28:31 +0000

Thank you so much for this story. I had the opposite experience recently–my father died in August, and my boyfriend’s father died last December. Neither had been nearly as organized as your father, and it is a very stressful, painful experience to be dealing with financial matters along with the grief of losing a parent. My father was supposed to be on Title 19 and simply stopped filing paperwork with the state–so we had to frantically comb through piles of unpaid bills and dirty laundry to find the right paperwork while Dad was in the hospital for the last time. We knew my boyfriend’s father had pre-paid for a funeral, but didn’t know where, so we spent an afternoon calling every funeral home in the yellow pages until we found the right one. As unsentimental and painful as it seems, planning for your death is one of the best things you can do for your loved ones!

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By: TJ

TJ — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:06:29 +0000

Thank you for sharing the story of your dad’s planning. My father also had a big notebook with much of the information needed after his death. When my mother died, we relied on that information and it helped greatly.

I was also on all of the bank accounts when my mother died. It did make it easier to pay the bills, however I ended up paying the taxes on her interest income and ultimately, as the executor, had a financial hit. Something to consider…

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