SB mentioned that South Asians are the richest ethnic minority. This is true partly because of the kind of South Asians that initially settled in America. A disproportionately high number of them are either doctors, engineers or IT folks (difficult areas of study, high income). The smartest people will do well no matter what environment they are put in. Our own poster is an IIT grad and would have most likely had the choice of the creme de la creme of the jobs available in India.

I am a person who grew up in India around a lot of privileged kids. A lot of them did not have that ethos to work hard and make a name for themselves primarily because they grew up in so much comfort that their ambition was all but dead.

Having said that though the high level of education + strong family structure is IMHO, the reason for the success of S. Asians in America. The best way to see this is to compare to the South Asians of Britain where a vast number immigrated without any sort of college degrees. The difference is immediately apparent.

Overall I would say a good article, lots of lessons to be taken away.

There are good schools that aren’t all rich or upper-middle-class kids, where a frugally raised middle class child wouldn’t be ridiculed.

One of the downsides of living longer is people survive to develop dementia. It’s noble for people to want to keep their parents out of long term care facilities, but sometimes the danger is too great.

My husband’s grandmother is having similar problems, but no diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. She refuses to bathe–at all–to the point that it’s a health issue because her skin cannot sloff like naturally happens when we bathe. She does not want to change her undies or her clothes because she’s too cold. She’s constantly wanting more heat. She doesn’t realize that she’s not mentally there. She will turn on the stove top to have tea, but forget to get the teapot.

I think there is a HUGE difference between the countries. Our attitude of wanting our own independence is within each of us–it doesn’t disappear with age, but becomes more ingrained. So here, we have a lot of elderly that WANT to be independent and think they can be independent and are angry that they are forced to move into somebody else’s house and they can’t make their own decisions. When they get to the point of being unable to,it’s because they need to be under supervision–but most American families have dual income earners. There are few elderly daycare facilities and few resources. I know of no person who is looking forward to moving in with their children. The older people I know want their own homes and want their grandchildren to visit them.

There is also a cultural difference with the age at WHEN you have children. If you had a child at 23, your parents would be 46 (assuming same) and full of health and help. They would need help AFTER your children have mostly been raised. But if you have children at 33 and your parents did the same, they are 66 and may have serious conditions, some of which are too difficult or pose safety problems. At that time, the son is trying to raise his own young children while taking care of his or her parents (or if they health issues come up later, he may be elderly himself)

From the Ontario Family Law Act: “Every child who is not a minor has an obligation to provide support, in accordance with need, for his or her parent who has cared for or provided support for the child, to the extent that the child is capable of doing so.”

Though as Maggie points out, maybe the care taking is left to daughters in law, which contributes to the higher value placed on sons.

Unfortunately that’s not everyone’s reality.

Katie rightly pointed out that we talk to our keyboards while writing over the internet. I am sure Dianna would be just as nice to me in-person as would anybody else.

So basically the federal government guarantees the solvency