Comments on: The Statute of Limitations on Regret http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/ Common sense advice on money saving tips, how to get out of debt, high interest savings accounts, cd rates, money market accounts, mortgage rates, money management and more. Mon, 20 May 2013 23:01:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Dustin Eisenman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-3315701 Dustin Eisenman Wed, 17 Apr 2013 23:24:58 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-3315701 I am 67 years old and i just start discover the computer and the internet. It is awsome to read webpages like this one. I'm feeling bad because this did not happen years ago, when I was younger ... Congratulations to all who write comments here ! I am 67 years old and i just start discover the computer and the internet. It is awsome to read webpages like this one. I’m feeling bad because this did not happen years ago, when I was younger … Congratulations to all who write comments here !

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]]> By: cj http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2939692 cj Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:17:22 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2939692 Regret is also a nice way to avoid facing the future if you are mired in the past story. Regret is also a nice way to avoid facing the future if you are mired in the past story.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2815362 Donna Freedman Sat, 23 Jun 2012 17:30:27 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2815362 Thanks, Peg. I doubt I'll ever have that particular problem myself. Yet somehow I manage to have a happy and intriguing life. Thanks, Peg. I doubt I’ll ever have that particular problem myself. Yet somehow I manage to have a happy and intriguing life.

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]]> By: Peg http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2813852 Peg Fri, 22 Jun 2012 18:48:50 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2813852 This is one of the best posts I have ever read anywhere! Donna, I love how committed you are to writing about everyday occurrences. Truly, how many of us will ever have the "problem" of where and how to invest a million dollars? Pieces like this are life-changers. This is one of the best posts I have ever read anywhere! Donna, I love how committed you are to writing about everyday occurrences. Truly, how many of us will ever have the “problem” of where and how to invest a million dollars? Pieces like this are life-changers.

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]]> By: Matthew Doyle http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2805952 Matthew Doyle Tue, 19 Jun 2012 15:08:48 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2805952 Great post!! I have always been a firm believer of never regretting anything. The past is filled experiences in your life that help shape your future. Like you said you can't change what you have done, so why dwell on it. Great post!! I have always been a firm believer of never regretting anything. The past is filled experiences in your life that help shape your future. Like you said you can’t change what you have done, so why dwell on it.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2777122 Quest Thu, 07 Jun 2012 19:55:23 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2777122 I began seeing a therapist to deal with my depression last year. Part of the therapy involves forgiveness. I found that I agreed with the therapist's conclusion that, unless I let go of the anger I hold towards my father, I am never going to be able to lead an emotionally healthy life, I will remain stuck, repeating the same self destructive mistakes. It was difficult going back because my parents and I had a big falling out some years ago but I care about my mother and I know that life has often been hard for her. I also found out some details about my father's upbringing at the hands of my mentally ill grandmother, things I never knew about. It's a long story but at the root of it is forgiveness, closure, acceptance and moving on. I began seeing a therapist to deal with my depression last year. Part of the therapy involves forgiveness. I found that I agreed with the therapist’s conclusion that, unless I let go of the anger I hold towards my father, I am never going to be able to lead an emotionally healthy life, I will remain stuck, repeating the same self destructive mistakes. It was difficult going back because my parents and I had a big falling out some years ago but I care about my mother and I know that life has often been hard for her. I also found out some details about my father’s upbringing at the hands of my mentally ill grandmother, things I never knew about. It’s a long story but at the root of it is forgiveness, closure, acceptance and moving on.

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]]> By: Donald http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2776772 Donald Thu, 07 Jun 2012 18:05:24 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2776772 "Edward" isn't "Edward". This sounds like the Control your Cash blog. “Edward” isn’t “Edward”. This sounds like the Control your Cash blog.

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]]> By: partgypsy http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2776682 partgypsy Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:56:27 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2776682 One thing I don't understand, are these the same parents that caused her to have an abusive childhood? Just trying to understand. One thing I don’t understand, are these the same parents that caused her to have an abusive childhood? Just trying to understand.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2776222 Quest Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:36:57 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2776222 With one parent undergoing cancer surgery next week, it was necessary for me to go back home and check on the situation. I haven't been back in years. Yes, I met up with old friends and had fun too. As Donna says, I would rather not wait until I have to go back for a funeral. I have been living very frugally for the past 3-4 years and have been able to save but those savings represent sacrifice and we do not spend that money without there being a dire need to do so. For me personally and I'm not speaking for anyone else, going home to give my parents some support, going home to check on living conditions and well being, is justification enough to spend some money from savings. With one parent undergoing cancer surgery next week, it was necessary for me to go back home and check on the situation. I haven’t been back in years. Yes, I met up with old friends and had fun too. As Donna says, I would rather not wait until I have to go back for a funeral. I have been living very frugally for the past 3-4 years and have been able to save but those savings represent sacrifice and we do not spend that money without there being a dire need to do so. For me personally and I’m not speaking for anyone else, going home to give my parents some support, going home to check on living conditions and well being, is justification enough to spend some money from savings.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2774622 Donna Freedman Thu, 07 Jun 2012 04:33:01 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2774622 Some people would rather go for a visit than a funeral. Some people would rather go for a visit than a funeral.

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]]> By: jim http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2774552 jim Thu, 07 Jun 2012 04:07:28 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2774552 Quest, I don't think Edward was judging too harshly. Maybe he could have put it a little more diplomatically, but he's probably like me and not really into "politically correct" speech. I think his points were well-taken. Some of us have also had to deal with ailing parents and we couldn't go back to "wherever" 'cause we didn't have the $ to do so. I've been on both sides of this equation. It's exceedingly difficult to only be able to chat with your ailing parents by phone/email etc when you're worried sick about them. But - sometimes that is exactly what you have to do when you simply cannot afford to go back there personally. I also think the reason you sort of "screamed" at him in response was 'cause on some level you know you could have checked in on them without having spent the $ to go back in person. In any event, hope all is well with all concerned. Quest,
I don’t think Edward was judging too harshly. Maybe he could have put it a little more diplomatically, but he’s probably like me and not really into “politically correct” speech. I think his points were well-taken. Some of us have also had to deal with ailing parents and we couldn’t go back to “wherever” ’cause we didn’t have the $ to do so. I’ve been on both sides of this equation. It’s exceedingly difficult to only be able to chat with your ailing parents by phone/email etc when you’re worried sick about them. But – sometimes that is exactly what you have to do when you simply cannot afford to go back there personally.

I also think the reason you sort of “screamed” at him in response was ’cause on some level you know you could have checked in on them without having spent the $ to go back in person.

In any event, hope all is well with all concerned.

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]]> By: Barb http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2774352 Barb Thu, 07 Jun 2012 03:18:09 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2774352 Melody and Donna I have been thinking about that, although Ive never written for JD before (only on my blog). I will say that in respoonse to all the extreme travel articles my origina intent was to write an article on frugal road tripping for the rest of us. Perhaps this will be a better fit. While I cannot speak for your mom, I can say the first year of widowhood I was in a foreign country away from family and basically ate and ordered stuff online. also I had teenagers and figured that they had suffered enough and deserved the private education they had planned for...an on and on. Guess I will write that article and let JD pick it apart. Melody and Donna I have been thinking about that, although Ive never written for JD before (only on my blog). I will say that in respoonse to all the extreme travel articles my origina intent was to write an article on frugal road tripping for the rest of us. Perhaps this will be a better fit.

While I cannot speak for your mom, I can say the first year of widowhood I was in a foreign country away from family and basically ate and ordered stuff online. also I had teenagers and figured that they had suffered enough and deserved the private education they had planned for…an on and on.

Guess I will write that article and let JD pick it apart.

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]]> By: Larissa http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2773522 Larissa Wed, 06 Jun 2012 22:54:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2773522 I love this post, but lately I have been telling myself "don't give up what you want most for what you want now." So in this case I feel a little conflicted. However, Quest mentioned something about having a sustainable lifestyle, and I believe that is what I would like to strive for most. I love this post, but lately I have been telling myself “don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.” So in this case I feel a little conflicted. However, Quest mentioned something about having a sustainable lifestyle, and I believe that is what I would like to strive for most.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2773272 Quest Wed, 06 Jun 2012 21:32:58 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2773272 If you had bothered to read, you would know that I am working on starting my own business and that I could not afford to go to the UK but had to go to check on my elderly parents who are having health issues. Your judging me so harshly makes ME nauseous! If you want to judge me in a constructive manner, that's fine but not like this. (PS. My mouse clicked 'like' but I can assure you it was by mistake!) If you had bothered to read, you would know that I am working on starting my own business and that I could not afford to go to the UK but had to go to check on my elderly parents who are having health issues. Your judging me so harshly makes ME nauseous! If you want to judge me in a constructive manner, that’s fine but not like this.

(PS. My mouse clicked ‘like’ but I can assure you it was by mistake!)

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]]> By: Edward http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772832 Edward Wed, 06 Jun 2012 18:47:49 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772832 Wow. Sorry to the author, but that post made me feel nauseous. "If I could only have one more chance. One more chance. That's all I would need. One more chance to make some good money." What?! You're *waiting* for a "chance"? Go out and look for the love of Pete! She readily admits she has "too much time on her hands". You know what's nice? Being able to visit "family and friends in the UK"! Then complaining you don't have enough to "enable us to do the things we'd like to do" seems in direct opposition with the ability to visit friends in England. ...I don't get it. Get a grip, lady. Wow. Sorry to the author, but that post made me feel nauseous. “If I could only have one more chance. One more chance. That’s all I would need. One more chance to make some good money.” What?! You’re *waiting* for a “chance”? Go out and look for the love of Pete! She readily admits she has “too much time on her hands”.

You know what’s nice? Being able to visit “family and friends in the UK”! Then complaining you don’t have enough to “enable us to do the things we’d like to do” seems in direct opposition with the ability to visit friends in England. …I don’t get it. Get a grip, lady.

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]]> By: Chris http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772322 Chris Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:41:05 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772322 GREAT post, and it hits home. I've been living with regret over having mis-invested a BIG amount of savings with the economy's recession in 2007. (and we're talking my early retirement should have been a no-brainer.) Fast forward 5 years and we're basically starting over from square 1. That's a lot to think about. In fact, no matter how I end up retiring, I'll always know that I coulda / shoulda had another zero on the back of it.. Letting all that go is difficult. But my new life has given me new opportunities. As these opportunities grow, I may end up with as much as, or more, than I would have otherwise had. And my spending habits are much better than they used to be. So, give me another decade & let's see how things stack up.. GREAT post, and it hits home. I’ve been living with regret over having mis-invested a BIG amount of savings with the economy’s recession in 2007. (and we’re talking my early retirement should have been a no-brainer.) Fast forward 5 years and we’re basically starting over from square 1. That’s a lot to think about. In fact, no matter how I end up retiring, I’ll always know that I coulda / shoulda had another zero on the back of it..

Letting all that go is difficult. But my new life has given me new opportunities. As these opportunities grow, I may end up with as much as, or more, than I would have otherwise had. And my spending habits are much better than they used to be. So, give me another decade & let’s see how things stack up..

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]]> By: Susan http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772312 Susan Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:39:08 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772312 :) :)

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]]> By: Ash http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772212 Ash Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:17:20 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772212 I bet those lucky cats have no regrets!!! Thank you on their behalf. I bet those lucky cats have no regrets!!! Thank you on their behalf.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772162 Quest Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:52:00 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772162 Thanks Will :) It does feel good to be moving forward. When I think about where I was and compare it to where I am now, I am indeed thankful that I stopped being so self destructive when I did. Well done to you too for turning your finances around and becoming happier with your life. Regret is useful. It means that you have learned from your mistakes and that you are not doomed to repeat them. Thanks Will :) It does feel good to be moving forward. When I think about where I was and compare it to where I am now, I am indeed thankful that I stopped being so self destructive when I did. Well done to you too for turning your finances around and becoming happier with your life. Regret is useful. It means that you have learned from your mistakes and that you are not doomed to repeat them.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772122 Quest Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:44:40 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772122 Depression is a horrible state to deal with. When that cloud comes over, I feel useless, worthless, unlovable, stick any negative adjective in there. But, having said that, there is resilience at my core. I am proud of that and thankful that I have it. I empathize with anyone who is dealing with depression because it is not something that can just be snapped out of. It's very real and very debilitating. At the heart of it all though we are SURVIVORS and can't ever forget that. Embrace that inner strength because it's there. Depression is a horrible state to deal with. When that cloud comes over, I feel useless, worthless, unlovable, stick any negative adjective in there. But, having said that, there is resilience at my core. I am proud of that and thankful that I have it. I empathize with anyone who is dealing with depression because it is not something that can just be snapped out of. It’s very real and very debilitating. At the heart of it all though we are SURVIVORS and can’t ever forget that. Embrace that inner strength because it’s there.

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]]> By: Quest http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2772052 Quest Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:32:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2772052 Sounds like you've planned your life really well around not having a car :) It sounds great. I do not plan to buy another car and I don't miss the one I had. I am determined to adopt the same lifestyle as you by renting a car when I absolutely need to and using public transit the rest of the time if I can't walk to where I need to go. Think of the money we'll save because personally, I have found a car to be an extremely expensive item to own overall. Sounds like you’ve planned your life really well around not having a car :) It sounds great. I do not plan to buy another car and I don’t miss the one I had. I am determined to adopt the same lifestyle as you by renting a car when I absolutely need to and using public transit the rest of the time if I can’t walk to where I need to go. Think of the money we’ll save because personally, I have found a car to be an extremely expensive item to own overall.

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]]> By: Will http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771862 Will Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:30:14 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771862 Quest - My wife and I were in the same boat for a long time and I was just talking to her about the regret portion that frequently punches me in the face regarding the previous handling of our finances. The more years I put behind me and the bad decisions the happier I feel that I did something to turn the tide instead of continuing as we were. The thought that we could be not only 3 years behind where we were, but in 3 years worse shape than we were makes me feel about 100 pounds lighter. I think doing something puts you far ahead of most of the rest of the world. The further you get ahead the better you will feel. Good luck! Quest -

My wife and I were in the same boat for a long time and I was just talking to her about the regret portion that frequently punches me in the face regarding the previous handling of our finances.

The more years I put behind me and the bad decisions the happier I feel that I did something to turn the tide instead of continuing as we were. The thought that we could be not only 3 years behind where we were, but in 3 years worse shape than we were makes me feel about 100 pounds lighter.

I think doing something puts you far ahead of most of the rest of the world. The further you get ahead the better you will feel.

Good luck!

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]]> By: Carla http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771282 Carla Wed, 06 Jun 2012 07:03:58 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771282 Yes, Quest. One of the biggest mistakes I've made was believing that what happened in my formative years had nothing to do with adulthood. I foolishly though (probably as a way to protect myself) the past was the past. That could not be farther from the truth. Yes, Quest. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made was believing that what happened in my formative years had nothing to do with adulthood. I foolishly though (probably as a way to protect myself) the past was the past. That could not be farther from the truth.

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]]> By: Carla http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771272 Carla Wed, 06 Jun 2012 07:01:26 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771272 Thank you for sharing that perspective, Donna! I can think of a million things I wouldn't have if it wasn't for some of the poor decisions I've made in the past. Thank you for sharing that perspective, Donna! I can think of a million things I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for some of the poor decisions I’ve made in the past.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771212 Donna Freedman Wed, 06 Jun 2012 06:19:21 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771212 I'm so sorry for the pain and the struggle. A close family member has gone through similar agonies, with a physical disability thrown in for good measure. At times it seems things are getting better for her but the improvement is cyclical. To hear people tell it, she should be able to lighten up because after all, she has it better than so many other people. Which is true, but it doesn't erase the very real pain she feels and which may never fully disappear. I wish there were easy answers for you both -- that a new vitamin therapy or dietary regimen would magically take away the pain. That won't happen, I'm afraid, but that's not to say that you won't both heal sufficiently to enjoy life. It will almost certainly require constant vigilance (I know that it will in my relative's case), but I pray it will be so for both of you. For what it's worth: Years of depression and hopelessness eventually gave way to a life I could never have imagined. Had I given in to my own suicidal impulses years ago, I would never have achieved this state of grace. Understand: I am not, not, NOT saying "if I can do it, anyone can." I dislike that phrase, a lot, because it assumes everyone starts from the same place with the same resources. The reason I mentioned my own situation is to tie it in with the "regret" theme: For a long time I couldn't see any future for myself given the mistakes I'd made in the past, which at that time I believed had boxed me in completely. Forget "when God closes a door, he opens a window." I say, "Kick that sumbitchen door down and demand, DEMAND a shot at self-determination." I try to keep in mind that we're not guaranteed the right to be happy, but only the right to pursue happiness. It's harder for some than for others. If I can help in some way, please e-mail me at Surviving (and) Thriving (at) live (dot) com. And thank you for reading and leaving your comments. I’m so sorry for the pain and the struggle. A close family member has gone through similar agonies, with a physical disability thrown in for good measure. At times it seems things are getting better for her but the improvement is cyclical.
To hear people tell it, she should be able to lighten up because after all, she has it better than so many other people. Which is true, but it doesn’t erase the very real pain she feels and which may never fully disappear.
I wish there were easy answers for you both — that a new vitamin therapy or dietary regimen would magically take away the pain. That won’t happen, I’m afraid, but that’s not to say that you won’t both heal sufficiently to enjoy life. It will almost certainly require constant vigilance (I know that it will in my relative’s case), but I pray it will be so for both of you.
For what it’s worth: Years of depression and hopelessness eventually gave way to a life I could never have imagined. Had I given in to my own suicidal impulses years ago, I would never have achieved this state of grace.
Understand: I am not, not, NOT saying “if I can do it, anyone can.” I dislike that phrase, a lot, because it assumes everyone starts from the same place with the same resources. The reason I mentioned my own situation is to tie it in with the “regret” theme: For a long time I couldn’t see any future for myself given the mistakes I’d made in the past, which at that time I believed had boxed me in completely.
Forget “when God closes a door, he opens a window.” I say, “Kick that sumbitchen door down and demand, DEMAND a shot at self-determination.”
I try to keep in mind that we’re not guaranteed the right to be happy, but only the right to pursue happiness. It’s harder for some than for others.
If I can help in some way, please e-mail me at Surviving (and) Thriving (at) live (dot) com. And thank you for reading and leaving your comments.

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]]> By: Mindy http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771182 Mindy Wed, 06 Jun 2012 05:58:26 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771182 Great topic!! One book I return to again and again is David Burns' "Feeling Good" - which is based on Ellis' work. The book is filled with **practical AND compassionate** techniques - GREAT, HELPFUL and VERY EFFECTIVE ways to actually feel BETTER -- and even FEEL GOOD! If you want to feel better, and release a lot of your regrets, help yourself by READING THE BOOK!! You'll thank me! :) Great topic!! One book I return to again and again is David Burns’ “Feeling Good” – which is based on Ellis’ work. The book is filled with **practical AND compassionate** techniques – GREAT, HELPFUL and VERY EFFECTIVE ways to actually feel BETTER — and even FEEL GOOD! If you want to feel better, and release a lot of your regrets, help yourself by READING THE BOOK!! You’ll thank me! :)

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771172 Donna Freedman Wed, 06 Jun 2012 05:58:07 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771172 Thank YOU, Maya, for the feedback. I'm 54 and just starting to be able to keep the past in the past. Here's hoping you don't have to wait that long to do the same. Thank YOU, Maya, for the feedback.
I’m 54 and just starting to be able to keep the past in the past. Here’s hoping you don’t have to wait that long to do the same.

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]]> By: CB http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771082 CB Wed, 06 Jun 2012 04:32:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771082 Quest: congrats on going down to one car. My family has been car-lite for the past 7 years: 6 yrs in a large New England city and 1yr in a suburb in Florida. Now we are headed on to a move to a small town in the South and it looks like we will be able to keep it going (work, preschool, and rental house will all be within a 3 mile radius). Although there are buses here in FL there were a couple things besides my husband's i-phone that we splurged on when deciding to stick with one car in the suburbs. First, we decided that if something was going on that we both really wanted to go to and we couldn't coordinate who would get the car, we would splurge on a cab. We figured even $100/month for taxis would save us a ton over a car. However, in a year we've only had to do this once, and my husband wound up getting a ride from a friend. The second thing that I did was pool some gift money together to purchase a bike that was easy on my back and we also got a good bike trailer for our son. We aren't within walking distance to a lot of things and so there was sort of a psychological thing that happened to both of us if we were left at home without a car. With the bike and trailer we feel like we at least have wheels to leave the neighborhood and this was enough to help our respective brains deal with occasionally being home without a car. Now a year later neither one of us even blinks when the other needs to take the car on a weekend. Finally, for the first time ever my husband had to take our car on a 10 day road trip. I debated and debated and finally decided that I would need to rent a car for me and my son (in New England this wouldn't have been necessary). I feel like I got a deal for $230 for the 10 days. Finally, I got over my shyness of asking for a ride from friends. If I know that someone is going to drive by my neighborhood on the way to a book club meeting I ask for a ride. And at times I return the favor. I just wanted to share some of the things, including some expenses, that have helped us stick to this lifestyle,which after some time can really become the norm. If you can make it work in time the idea of having to get a second car will seem awful: now I have to make sure two autos get an oil change? Ack! Noooo!! best of luck! Quest: congrats on going down to one car. My family has been car-lite for the past 7 years: 6 yrs in a large New England city and 1yr in a suburb in Florida. Now we are headed on to a move to a small town in the South and it looks like we will be able to keep it going (work, preschool, and rental house will all be within a 3 mile radius). Although there are buses here in FL there were a couple things besides my husband’s i-phone that we splurged on when deciding to stick with one car in the suburbs. First, we decided that if something was going on that we both really wanted to go to and we couldn’t coordinate who would get the car, we would splurge on a cab. We figured even $100/month for taxis would save us a ton over a car. However, in a year we’ve only had to do this once, and my husband wound up getting a ride from a friend. The second thing that I did was pool some gift money together to purchase a bike that was easy on my back and we also got a good bike trailer for our son. We aren’t within walking distance to a lot of things and so there was sort of a psychological thing that happened to both of us if we were left at home without a car. With the bike and trailer we feel like we at least have wheels to leave the neighborhood and this was enough to help our respective brains deal with occasionally being home without a car. Now a year later neither one of us even blinks when the other needs to take the car on a weekend. Finally, for the first time ever my husband had to take our car on a 10 day road trip. I debated and debated and finally decided that I would need to rent a car for me and my son (in New England this wouldn’t have been necessary). I feel like I got a deal for $230 for the 10 days. Finally, I got over my shyness of asking for a ride from friends. If I know that someone is going to drive by my neighborhood on the way to a book club meeting I ask for a ride. And at times I return the favor. I just wanted to share some of the things, including some expenses, that have helped us stick to this lifestyle,which after some time can really become the norm. If you can make it work in time the idea of having to get a second car will seem awful: now I have to make sure two autos get an oil change? Ack! Noooo!! best of luck!

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]]> By: Lois http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2771072 Lois Wed, 06 Jun 2012 04:30:26 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2771072 Barb, My husband passed away 8 years ago, but he didn't have life insurance. We also didn't have any savings. Since then, I sold the higher priced house and put the proceeds into a down payment on a townhome, which I love. I had a couple of different jobs, but now have a stable one for the last 5 years. One daughter got married and one just graduated college, and in 2 years I should be graduating myself. My husband started a small business, which I work at in my "spare time". It's not a lot of money, but helps pay the bills. I have also started to save money - not a lot, but you have to start somewhere. I also have a couple of credit card balances that I am working on paying off. So, don't kick yourself; just keep trying. That's what I'm doing, and you can too. Barb,
My husband passed away 8 years ago, but he didn’t have life insurance. We also didn’t have any savings. Since then, I sold the higher priced house and put the proceeds into a down payment on a townhome, which I love. I had a couple of different jobs, but now have a stable one for the last 5 years. One daughter got married and one just graduated college, and in 2 years I should be graduating myself. My husband started a small business, which I work at in my “spare time”. It’s not a lot of money, but helps pay the bills. I have also started to save money – not a lot, but you have to start somewhere. I also have a couple of credit card balances that I am working on paying off.
So, don’t kick yourself; just keep trying.
That’s what I’m doing, and you can too.

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]]> By: jim http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/06/05/the-statute-of-limitations-on-regret/comment-page-1/#comment-2770882 jim Wed, 06 Jun 2012 02:59:36 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=135102#comment-2770882 I have worked with people who were sexually abused as children. The effect of that abuse manifests itself in many, many ways - hoarding is but one. Want to really get that crap out of your life/psyche? Take whatever you've hoarded, one item at a time, and donate it or give it to someone for whom it will be a blessing. You'll find yourself "forgiving" yourself with every step. (And NO I am not really suggesting that you need to forgive yourself for having been abused at the hands of someone else). Karma works that way. This strategy has helped a lot of people tremendously. You've got problems? Go help someone who has problems too and yours diminish. I have worked with people who were sexually abused as children. The effect of that abuse manifests itself in many, many ways – hoarding is but one. Want to really get that crap out of your life/psyche? Take whatever you’ve hoarded, one item at a time, and donate it or give it to someone for whom it will be a blessing. You’ll find yourself “forgiving” yourself with every step. (And NO I am not really suggesting that you need to forgive yourself for having been abused at the hands of someone else).

Karma works that way. This strategy has helped a lot of people tremendously. You’ve got problems? Go help someone who has problems too and yours diminish.

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