This guest post from Sue is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success or failure. These stories feature folks with all levels of financial maturity and income. Want submit your own reader story? Here’s how.
I’ve always been a saver. Even as a child, my pocket money was more likely to end up in my piggy bank than in my purse. I’ll admit that living in a remote English village with little opportunity to make impulse purchases probably helped.) But I’ve often wondered why I saved.
My savings tended to build up and never be spent. I lived within my means. But I never had a use for all the money I was saving; I never knew why I was doing this. Then, last Christmas, I discovered what financial freedom really means.
My younger brother has been ill for as long as I can remember. From birth, he had complex medical needs, as well as physical and learning disabilities. He spent much of his first few years in hospital, and was frequently rushed back in with serious infections, or deterioration of his medical conditions. Over the years, these emergencies became less frequent, partly due to advances in medical care, and partly because we were better at managing his health out of hospital. However, I always knew that the call might come.
Last year, my brother became increasingly unwell. He was on antibiotics a lot of the time, and his quality of life was decreasing. Although we didn’t want to think about it, we knew that he was nearing the end. In November, he was admitted to hospital with a severe infection, needing more intervention than he could get at home.
I couldn’t cope with living so far away when he was so ill, so I arranged to go up and see him. I paid a hefty last-minute train fare, and took time off work, knowing that it would probably count as compassionate leave, but prepared to take unpaid leave if I needed to. I knew I could afford it. My brother improved, was discharged, and I came back to work. I had taken the maximum number of days off that my employer allowed for compassionate leave.
However, the following weekend, my brother was rushed back into hospital by ambulance, and it was clear that this time it was life-threatening. I again rushed back, explaining things to HR on Monday morning. My brother died a week later, just before Christmas. He was 29.
Due to the holidays, we couldn’t hold the funeral until the new year, meaning I took over a month off work, only two weeks of which was covered by my pre-booked annual leave. I wasn’t able to use my pre-booked train ticket, and had bought two expensive last-minute tickets, on top of extra clothing as I’d come home with just a couple of changes of clothes. As far as I knew, I had also “used up” my allowance of compassionate leave.
That’s when I realized what financial freedom means. Because I had been saving for a life-time, my costs didn’t matter. If I had to take the time as unpaid leave, it wouldn’t actually impact my budget. I had the cushion to take it. I could take the time to grieve and recover without worrying about the money.
In the end, the costs weren’t as bad as I anticipated. I was able to get a refund on the unused pre-booked train tickets, and was given “discretionary” compassionate leave to cover the extra time. But I didn’t find that out until later. Knowing I could afford the worst-case scenario gave me peace of mind when I most needed it.
What does financial freedom mean? It means that when your life crumbles around you, the one thing you don’t have to worry about is money.
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Thanks, Sue. I think you nailed exactly why so many of us work so hard to build up enough money to achieve financial freedom. It’s not about being greedy or materialistic. It’s about having the freedom to do what we want and to be there for our loved ones in important circumstances such as these. My deepest sympathies for your loss.
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Well said. My deepest sympathies as well.
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I’m so sorry for your loss.
And you’re absolutely right that so often the one thing we don’t want to have to worry about is money. And it’s nice to not have to. That’s why when people ask if they have to save for something or if they can save for no reason… saving for no reason is really saving for the future. A reason to have saved will find you. Hopefully a pleasant reason, but sometimes having extra money saved keeps something unhappy from being much worse.
Wandering scientist this weekend talks a bit about fear and how having a money cushion can keep fear from keeping you from acting. This story is a very good example of that. http://www.wandering-scientist.com/2012/06/weekend-reading-no-fear-edition.html
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Thanks for sharing this!
My brother isn’t off very well either, and lately I was prepared to just take a few days off (I’m self-employed) and take a train to him. It wasn’t necessary but it was good to know that I can do it
(Also, on the small scale of things, my not-so-old smartphone just broke. As I really need one for my business, I bought a new one, and my budget could easily take it.)
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I am very sorry for you.
Hopefully I do not need to do what you did, but I am saving just like you are just in case. Something like a pay check should not come between you and family in a time of need. And it sounds like you have a very good employer to work with you on this issue.
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Yes, I’m aware that I’m very lucky that my employer is very good about this sort of thing. Also, my job is the sort that allows me to work from home, and where meetings can be attended by Skype if they can’t be rescheduled.
I know that a lot of people wouldn’t have the options I had, even if they had enough money, because their employer would just not allow them to take that much leave at no notice.
Sue
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That is so true. When my father in-law got ill this past March, my husband tried to get time to see him before he passed. His job told him he needed to give 15 days notice, but if his father died instead, they would give him 4 days off. We had the money to cover expenses but not he could not get the time.
This was difficult because how can you possibly give 15 day notice when someone’s health just turns for the worst?
My father in-law died the next day, and my husband did not get to see him alive. It makes you think about the important things in life and the freedom to be able to do them.
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I am so sorry for you and for Sue.
Marie, your response made me so angry – I felt sorry for your husband, as you don’t get a “do-over” in this sort of situation. And I was angry at his company. As you said, how can you give a 15-day notice in this situation? It seems like a policy designed to cut back on people taking time off from work to tend to a sick relative.
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Too bad you didn’t have enough saved up to have your DH quit. If they’d wanted him back OK, if not, they’re not a great company to work with, obviously!
I’ve never worked for a company that wouldn’t allow emergency leave any time I wanted. Strange.
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Wow, Marie, that’s disgusting! Who runs that company – robots?!
If it was me and I had savings, I’d get up and leave anyway, even though it might cost me the job.
That’s so sad.
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Amanda and Rya, I think you’re referring to “F— You Money” – you have enough in the bank that you can walk away from a terrible job and can live off your savings for a while before getting a new one.
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Sue;
My condolences to you on the loss of your brother.
Your situation was truly illustrates what financial freedom means. Many imagine the pleasurable ways there are to spend money if there were no worries about how to afford their dreams.
But there are countless other ways to spend one’s savings; charitable contributions, helping others and being able to be there for someone you love, as you did Sue.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It certainly has broadened my thinking.
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This story, while it shows the value of having savings, doesn’t really mesh with the definition of “financial freedom” I normally hear, which requires enough investment income to cover your basic costs of living in perpetuity.
This is why I’m normally not interested in “financial freedom”. I feel that being in the position Sue was in, with ample savings, is adequate for my own plans, and I’m not really concerned with covering costs for the rest of my life.
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To me financial freedom does mean a state where you do not need to work for earning money. You raised a valid question do you need that, will you ever stop working?
My personal opinion is for doing something always that can generate income. I save and I can sustain years without having to work. That’s good I don’t feel pressured to work, that the only freedom probably you’ll enjoy.
This article shows exactly that. Feeling secured after years of discipline.
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I agree. I see “financial freedom” as a continuum rather than a be-all-and-end-all goal. My first taste of financial “freedom” was my first job as a teen when I had some spending money of my own and could save for my education. My next FF was getting my first real full time job — and not being financially reliant on my parents.
I’m no where near “financial freedom” or “financial independence” as some people define it, but I’m very grateful for the freedom of having no debt and having emergency savings.
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Tyler, while I normally appreciate your contrarian viewpoint, this particular statement seems a bit out of place.
From a technical standpoint, a quick search on the web for “financial freedom” turns up a bunch of very generic results, with no clear definition. “Financial Independence”, on the other hand, turns up a number of first-page results that meet the definition I think you’re referring to.
More importantly, I think the message in this article is perfectly clear and heartfelt, and nit-picking over terminology doesn’t really add to the conversation.
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Sorry, maybe I am conflating the two terms. I do agree with Sue though, I don’t have much of a desire for “financial independence” (which I guess is the term I mean) over just having ample savings.
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Yeah, I totally agree with you there. Being “set for life” really isn’t all that interesting, but having the freedom to do what needs to be done at the drop of a hat (especially when it involves loved ones) is incredibly valuable, and I’m so glad Sue had the resources to do that.
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So True!
I have personally always been well aware of this aspect to saving money (maybe watching our family weather many tragedies). I know people from the outside looking in think I just hoard money for no reason. But we have the ability to quit jobs at will, be there for our families, weather unemployment, etc. At any point in the future can change our mind and always spend the money on something. All of that is priceless, if you ask me. The alternative of “no savings to fall back on” means we have no choices when times get rough. & they will always get rough. Life is rough.
& as far as the comments to your job being so good. The point is with financial freedom you can just walk away when your employer is not as helpful. When you lose your job because you want to go to your brother’s funeral. I’d personally choose my family over my job, any day.
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My condolences to you on the loss of your brother. Your story has really made an impression on me and has inspired me to really work harder on saving money. Thank you.
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So sorry to hear about your loss
. To me that is exactly why financial freedom is so great. You can do what you need to when you need to without having to worry about money and I’m sure that made the whole ordeal much less stressful.
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I’m so sorry about your loss, and so glad that you were able to be there for him and the rest of your family.
When my granddaughter died, we were able to foot the bill to have our other four children fly in and help my son’s unemployed bio father and his wife drive over for the funeral. None of them could have afforded the last minute costs. Seeing the family support that my son had during this tragedy made it all worthwhile.
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My condolences on the loss the of your brother. I know it probably wasn’t easy to share your story, but I’m glad you offered a different perspective on “financial freedom.” Emergency savings seems like an abstract concept for a lot of people, but it becomes real when you think “If something happens to someone I love, I can afford to be there.”
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I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this story. A lot of times I think about what I would want to do with my saved money, and a lot of it is selfish. This shows an occasion when another’s needs are more important. It really made me think. It’s way more important to have the freedom to be there for others when it really counts rather than to be able to buy material items.
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First, my condolences to the OP. As for the topic at hand, for the most part I have to agree. Financial Freedom is knowing you will not have to worry about the bills getting paid, no matter how bad things get. I have that, to some degree and no feeling is better.
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Condolences to you, and thank you for sharing your story.
Twice this year I’ve had to abandon house and move into temporary accommodation with very little notice (one following a physical attack by a person I was living with, the other after being evicted by my crooked landlord). By squirelling away cash in good times I was able to support myself in each transitional period without having to resort to putting charges on credit card or taking out a payday loan. I’m not financially free yet, but I’m a lot freer than I could be.
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I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to your and your family.
When my grandmother suddenly took ill with advanced cancer back in 2010, she only had a week and a half left. I wasn’t able to see her in time before she passed away. My grandmother died one day and my mother had a stroke the next day before I was even able to fly down. Thankfully my mother had purchased a ticket for me several days before her stroke so I was already on my way down.
At the time I was paying over $700/month for my own health care costs including insurance premium (I have a chronic illness so I couldn’t go without) so things were strapped for me.
That did wake me up to the fact that I really need a way to be financially independent for such emergencies. I’m still working on that but things are much better than they were two years ago.
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First of all, I am sorry for the OP’s loss. I’m not sure whether the OP still lives in England. If so, with all that she had to go through during her brother’s illness, at least she would have had few worries about the cost of her brother’s health care. I’ve experienced end-of-life medical care for relatives in both the UK and in the USA and I can confirm that there is no comparison. For my grandmother in the UK, all costs were covered, from daily nurses while she was at home to extremely compassionate palliative hospice care as she died. My mother-in-law in the States, however, continues to receive medical bills, even though she passed away two years ago.
I never felt completely free when living in the US due to the enormous burden of medical insurance. In order to not work, yet have enough investment income to cover medical insurance for my husband and I when we lived in the US, we would have needed savings of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Whereas in the UK, where we now live, medical care is free at the point of use. Now if I want to take a break from working, I can do it without worrying about medical bills. My husband and I have been able to leave our jobs for extended amounts of time to travel, pursue hobbies and perform volunteer work. The peace of mind that this gives us is almost incalculable and gives us financial freedom.
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Yes, we do still live in the UK (hence the username), so medical costs thankfully didn’t come into it.
The NHS is not perfect by any means, but it did consistently provide excellent care for my brother throughout his life.
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Sue,
Best to you and your family.
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. Financial freedom can take on many dimensions. Your story is a great example of this. Money cannot buy everything, but the flexibility it can grant is oftentimes priceless.
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Sorry for your loss…
God Bless you
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I am also sorry for your family’s loss.
I agree with this definition of FF. I’ve been lucky to be there too. By careful saving and choices, my husband was able to be home from work with our sick daughter for a year while I worked. Thank goodness we planned to be able to get by on one income rather than spending so we had to rely on two. Thankfully she’s now 100% healthy, and she has a wonderful bond with her father.
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Thank you for sharing such a touching story. I completely agree with your idea of financial freedom and you have my condolences.
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Hello Sue,
I am very sorry for the life experiences you had and for the illness, medical needs and eventual death of your brother.
You seem to be someone who cares and provides support for your family.
I think that an Emergency Fund is one of the greatest gifts a person can give themself. It is a real blessing to have when the money is sudddenly needed.
I know you have a lot of memories. Fortunately, you will remember “being there” at the darkest time. And, you will not be hampered by the thought of losing financial resources.
Best wishes to you and thank you for sharing.
Lori
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Thank you for sharing your story and peace to those who mourn.
This was a wake up call for me, we would have the money of something similar to this happened but it would definitely pinch our savings. We need to have a bigger emergency fund just in case….
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I am sorry to hear about your loss. This is a great post. Financial freedom is an amazing thing. It truly isn’t that hard to do, it just takes a little hard work and some patience. It is really nice when your budget doesn’t have to be affected when you have unexpected life changes. It is also great when your employer is so kind to allow you to take that much time off.
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Thanks. This is a great post! We’re in a position to do the same and I really appreciate it. I feel your article will really help those who are in that middle point, out of debt but the saving is feeling boring. Definitely a motivating article. Thanks, again.
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I’m sorry for you loss.
You’re lucky to have gotten so much paid leave off your job with guarantee that you job would still be there when you returned.
Most Americans don’t have that advantage.
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Sue, to my ears, your story rings with the core truth that people are more important than possessions. Mainstream society doesn’t operate that way; it puts possessions and posturing first, even when giving lip service to family and relationships. But you’ve truly been walking the talk, and living what I call in my blog ‘the diamond-cut life’. You’re also a good writer! I would love to have you write a guest post for me. If you’re interested, please come visit, and leave a comment in the ‘About’ section. Warm wishes.
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Great story!
Recently I decided to leave my job for two reasons: first to help my family with my father, whom is losing mobility and was having problems with his sight; second because I wanted to start up a different career in which I will have more time to support my family.
The first question everyone asked was about money, for years I saved and invested my emergency fund so taking the decision was not so much about money but about timing.
I understand what financial freedoms feels: you are free to act or decide whatever is best without worries. And it feels so good.
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Sorry about your loss, that is truly a tragedy.
Having made sure I said that upfront, I want to continue by saying this was a great post. The message being conveyed here is a good example of what financial freedom really is. It’s not having the ability to buy a dream home, high end sports car, travel to exotic places, buy expensive shoes and clothes, etc. Rather, it’s being able to handle LIFE in a comfortable way where costs aren’t an unnecessary stressor.
Thanks for sharing.
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I’m so sorry, that’s a sad part of your life, but you’re so right, that’s why we save. It would have been just awful if you hadn’t been able to afford to be with your family. You’re smart to have a cushion.
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About five years ago, my sister called me to say that my nephew needed to be flown via medical jet from the east coast to the west coast for heart surgery by a specialist. Because I had the financial freedom to help, I decided to cover the expenses for the flight. I also was able to fly to CA to be with him and ultimately care for him for two months in LA after he had heart transplant surgery. I feel blessed to have been able to make these choices because I had the funds to do so. Today, more than five years later he is living a healthy life. Money may not buy happiness but it provides lifesaving choices.
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I have always told my children there is no such thing as a problem. If you have no money and something comes up, that is a double problem as you now have the issue AND you have to come up with the cash! On the other hand, if you have the money, the problem is immediately cut in half and the issue is merely a matter of making time to deal with it.
Granted, this is about broken things and other typical pop-ups and not vital health issues per se, but I believe the concept still holds. In fact, I hope someday GRS will tackle the aspect that having health insurance and NOT having health insurance looks exactly the same for people who do not have the deductible on hand. In both cases they don’t go to the doctor.
(And please don’t comment that a double problem cut in half is still a problem and not a half a problem. I’m talking emotional toll and not math.)
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So true. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma a few weeks ago and will soon begin his second cycle of chemotherapy. Of course I expect the financial impact of this to be enormous.
However, because we have been careful to keep our debt and monthly bills low, I am confident that we can get by on solely my income for as long as necessary, and we are not in danger of losing our house.
I’m not sure how we will pay the medical bills. We have health insurance through my job, but my understanding is that a lot of his medical costs won’t be covered by insurance. Our emergency fund is not much – only a few thousand dollars. Still, it is a comfort to know that we aren’t in immediate financial trouble due to losing his income.
To me, *this* is what frugality is for. It has freed me to focus on what I care about the most – in the case my husband’s health – without worrying about how we will make a car or house payment.
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Unfortunately, in my work I see very similar situations to this all the time. I’m glad that you had enough saved so that you had the flexibility you needed during – what must have been – a very difficult time. There are so many others who either are unable or unwilling to save for emergencies. This is one more reason that I can’t wait to be debt free as well. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m very sorry for your loss.
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Sue, I am sorry for your loss. I also recently wrote about this topic.
This is how I define Financial Freedom:
It is eliminating the money being the #1 factor for any financial decision
It is having options/choices in ones life as to what to do for the rest of your life
It is not being chained to a job from 9 to 5
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Sue, I am sorry for your loss but I am also glad for you that you were able to be with your brother when you and he needed it.
I also saved for no particular reason, with the vague idea that maybe one day I would buy a house or something. I learned about FI last year and was immediately interested, but then illness took hold, and I have been unable to work for the past 8 months. It is possible that I will never work again. I am only 33, so I have a lot of years left. The disability company has denied my claim and so I must hire a lawyer for $8000-$9000, all while not receiving any income. If not for my savings, I don’t know how I’d do it. I’m far from FI, but at least I can afford to pay the lawyer and still pay my bills (though I’ve cut way back) while I wait for the disability payments to start up (hopefully in about 6 months.)
The point is, you never know what life will bring. Having money saved up can prevent a lot of extra stress at exactly the time you can least afford to deal with it.
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Sorry for your loss.
Achieving financial freedom is achieving a sense of security, a peace of mind.
Your article also reminds me of how important it is to stay healthy.
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Very sorry for your loss as well, to echo the other replies.
Your financial freedom is exactly the reason why I save and save and worry so much about my finances. No one knows what will happen in the future: you or your aging parents could have medical emergencies and you may be stuck with expensive medical bills, or you could lose your job. You just Do Not know. That’s why having a financial net to catch you is extremely important; the more money you save, the larger your net will be to catch you when you suddently find yourself with hefty expenses or a stoppage in your stream of income.
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