Comments on: Straying Off the Path or Changing Direction? http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/ Common sense advice on money saving tips, how to get out of debt, high interest savings accounts, cd rates, money market accounts, mortgage rates, money management and more. Thu, 23 May 2013 00:17:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2849442 Donna Freedman Mon, 09 Jul 2012 01:37:32 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2849442 I am not an atheist; in fact, I go to church regularly. See comment #70 for an explanation of the celestial locksmith. I am not an atheist; in fact, I go to church regularly. See comment #70 for an explanation of the celestial locksmith.

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]]> By: Kenny Viccens http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2848022 Kenny Viccens Sun, 08 Jul 2012 11:04:39 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2848022 I enjoyed most of the article right up until the time the author revealed her atheism. I stopped cold when she wrote. "Don't sit around waiting for some celestial locksmith to open it..." Earlier, in the prior sentence the author cited "When God closes a door, He opens a window." I am smart enough to catch the linkage between God and the "celeastial locksmith." Yuck. I enjoyed most of the article right up until the time the author revealed her atheism. I stopped cold when she wrote. “Don’t sit around waiting for some celestial locksmith to open it…” Earlier, in the prior sentence the author cited “When God closes a door, He opens a window.” I am smart enough to catch the linkage between God and the “celeastial locksmith.” Yuck.

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]]> By: Lolo http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2844712 Lolo Fri, 06 Jul 2012 14:50:39 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2844712 I have to agree. Plus, this does not fall into line with the serious financial discussions that I've come to expect from GRS (although my interest has begun to slip as of late). I have to agree. Plus, this does not fall into line with the serious financial discussions that I’ve come to expect from GRS (although my interest has begun to slip as of late).

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]]> By: imelda http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843662 imelda Fri, 06 Jul 2012 05:07:29 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843662 Personally, I found this article depressing and fatalistic. Personally, I found this article depressing and fatalistic.

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]]> By: BD http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843562 BD Fri, 06 Jul 2012 03:52:52 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843562 Thanks, Donna, for the encouraging words. I appreciate it. :) I'll just keep trying to improve my situation for as long as I can. Thanks, Donna, for the encouraging words. I appreciate it. :)
I’ll just keep trying to improve my situation for as long as I can.

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]]> By: Tonya http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843452 Tonya Fri, 06 Jul 2012 03:07:21 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843452 Thanks for this. I especially love the quote about "There is no 'what if.' There is only 'what is." Sometimes we need that smack in the head that says, "Hey, wake up and deal with life!" Thanks for giving that to us! Thanks for this. I especially love the quote about “There is no ‘what if.’ There is only ‘what is.” Sometimes we need that smack in the head that says, “Hey, wake up and deal with life!” Thanks for giving that to us!

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]]> By: Ezdoesit http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843422 Ezdoesit Fri, 06 Jul 2012 02:43:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843422 CincyCat-I recommend taking a Dave Ramsey course with your spouse; or at least borrowing his books from the public library and listening to him on the radio or online. This has helped me/us tremendously. Take yourselves off the junk mail list to avaoid temptation1 Also, pray about your finances with your partner--God is alive and well and ready to help with inspirational ideas; wisdom and self-control that none of us have all on our own. CincyCat-I recommend taking a Dave Ramsey course with your spouse; or at least borrowing his books from the public library and listening to him on the radio or online. This has helped me/us tremendously. Take yourselves off the junk mail list to avaoid temptation1 Also, pray about your finances with your partner–God is alive and well and ready to help with inspirational ideas; wisdom and self-control that none of us have all on our own.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843252 Donna Freedman Fri, 06 Jul 2012 01:00:52 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843252 I feel for you, because one of my daughter's health issues is serious, chronic depression (with post-traumatic stress disorder thrown in for good measure). Some days she can't reach her damn bootstraps, let alone tug on them. The idea that depressives should just snap out of it is pretty pervasive. I've heard depression described as "a lifestyle disease," easily cured through positive thinking. Situational depression, maybe. Chronic depression is a little more complex. Incidentally, the reference to the celestial locksmith was my way of saying "Don't expect God to just fix every little thing that's wrong with your life -- it's necessary to do most of the heavy lifting yourself." My own personal prayer, repeated at various times of the day? "Please help me help myself, and others." I'm asking for strength, not for a deus ex machina moment. I feel for you, because one of my daughter’s health issues is serious, chronic depression (with post-traumatic stress disorder thrown in for good measure). Some days she can’t reach her damn bootstraps, let alone tug on them.
The idea that depressives should just snap out of it is pretty pervasive. I’ve heard depression described as “a lifestyle disease,” easily cured through positive thinking. Situational depression, maybe. Chronic depression is a little more complex.
Incidentally, the reference to the celestial locksmith was my way of saying “Don’t expect God to just fix every little thing that’s wrong with your life — it’s necessary to do most of the heavy lifting yourself.”
My own personal prayer, repeated at various times of the day? “Please help me help myself, and others.” I’m asking for strength, not for a deus ex machina moment.

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]]> By: Debbie http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843232 Debbie Fri, 06 Jul 2012 00:55:51 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843232 The hardest things I've gone through in life were what taught me the most....and I wouldn't be who I am today without the experiences (cliches and all!) Wonderful post, Donna! The hardest things I’ve gone through in life were what taught me the most….and I wouldn’t be who I am today without the experiences (cliches and all!)

Wonderful post, Donna!

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]]> By: Rusty http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2843172 Rusty Fri, 06 Jul 2012 00:38:13 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2843172 Donna, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this article and for me to read it today. I recently have been totally defeated, bigtime. I've done the what if's, why me's, etc... There was a time in my life when I said, "it can't get any worse" and then it did.. so I never say that again. Your article uplifted me today when I really needed it. I read something else today that said, "If your miserable, make a change. And if your miserable with that change, make another one." So baby steps and making small changes. I like how you said to "pause" for awhile. I think that's extremely important, as it's time for me to "unpause" now. Thanks again for this great advice Donna,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this article and for me to read it today.

I recently have been totally defeated, bigtime. I’ve done the what if’s, why me’s, etc…

There was a time in my life when I said, “it can’t get any worse” and then it did.. so I never say that again.

Your article uplifted me today when I really needed it. I read something else today that said, “If your miserable, make a change. And if your miserable with that change, make another one.”

So baby steps and making small changes. I like how you said to “pause” for awhile. I think that’s extremely important, as it’s time for me to “unpause” now.

Thanks again for this great advice

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]]> By: cathleen http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842602 cathleen Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:47:09 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842602 I think this way also and am surprised that many people don't. I owned a restaurant and always had Plan B, Plan C and even Plan Z! And I never thought because I planned something in one way that that was the only way for it to be a successful outcome. I saw this up close and personal while working on an event with a relative who completely stressed out when things did not go exactly as she put them on paper. Complete and utter stress and anxiety. Being comfortable with ambiguity is a good trait to work on, for work and for life. I think this way also and am surprised that many people don’t.

I owned a restaurant and always had Plan B, Plan C and even Plan Z!
And I never thought because I planned something in one way that that was the only way for it to be a successful outcome.

I saw this up close and personal while working on an event with a relative who completely stressed out when things did not go exactly as she put them on paper. Complete and utter stress and anxiety.

Being comfortable with ambiguity is a good trait to work on, for work and for life.

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]]> By: cathleen http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842552 cathleen Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:40:46 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842552 My died used to say to me when I was a kid (he died when I was 21) "You control two things, your perspective and your attitude" As I sit here reading this I just got news that my SIL's brother has just died of a terrible disease at the age of 40. Wow. Life cut short. He was diagnosed a year ago and went downhill physically with rapid speed. My SIL and brother cared for him until the very end. Inspirational, scary, life changing situation. I try to keep my perspective when things out of my control affect me negatively. My died used to say to me when I was a kid (he died when I was 21) “You control two things, your perspective and your attitude”

As I sit here reading this I just got news that my SIL’s brother has just died of a terrible disease at the age of 40. Wow. Life cut short. He was diagnosed a year ago and went downhill physically with rapid speed. My SIL and brother cared for him until the very end. Inspirational, scary, life changing situation.

I try to keep my perspective when things out of my control affect me negatively.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842532 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:30:18 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842532 Aw, shoot... [[blushes]] Thanks. Aw, shoot… [[blushes]] Thanks.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842502 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:27:11 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842502 You're not imagining things: Life HAS been hard for you. The piece was not intended as a blame-the-victim exercise. The "Sometimes, shit just happens" part is very real. Self-awareness is key. The fact that you're reading a PF site indicates that you're looking for answers. I wish I could offer them in a way that would make a difference right this second. Obviously no one can do that. I do hope you will keep finding ways to improve your life. You’re not imagining things: Life HAS been hard for you. The piece was not intended as a blame-the-victim exercise. The “Sometimes, shit just happens” part is very real.
Self-awareness is key. The fact that you’re reading a PF site indicates that you’re looking for answers. I wish I could offer them in a way that would make a difference right this second. Obviously no one can do that. I do hope you will keep finding ways to improve your life.

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]]> By: BD http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842482 BD Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:19:17 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842482 Sometimes it's so hard to not believe the "You're screwed and you'll always be" sort of believing. I've been struggling most of my life (I'm middle-aged now) to get out of bad situations, without much luck. Everything that could go wrong in life has gone wrong...had to give up a child due to poverty, had to go through a divorce due to the husband having near-incurable addictions that kept getting him jailed, have had horrible health problems, and have not been able to find a job for that past 8 years (am going back to college for a second degree now), etc (this isn't even all that has happened, just about half of it). I mean, nothing has gone right, and not due to poor choices either. I've always had a stellar work ethic, and was always an A student in school. Right now, I have very little to my name (no car, no TV, etc) and am living with the parents (with no friends or SO anywhere near me), which is extremely humiliating. 40 years of nothing but bad luck tends to wear even the most positive person down. Sometimes it’s so hard to not believe the “You’re screwed and you’ll always be” sort of believing. I’ve been struggling most of my life (I’m middle-aged now) to get out of bad situations, without much luck. Everything that could go wrong in life has gone wrong…had to give up a child due to poverty, had to go through a divorce due to the husband having near-incurable addictions that kept getting him jailed, have had horrible health problems, and have not been able to find a job for that past 8 years (am going back to college for a second degree now), etc (this isn’t even all that has happened, just about half of it). I mean, nothing has gone right, and not due to poor choices either. I’ve always had a stellar work ethic, and was always an A student in school. Right now, I have very little to my name (no car, no TV, etc) and am living with the parents (with no friends or SO anywhere near me), which is extremely humiliating. 40 years of nothing but bad luck tends to wear even the most positive person down.

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]]> By: Ash (in US) http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842472 Ash (in US) Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:17:41 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842472 <i> "...say this: Bring your own ladder. Better yet, kick that sumbitchen door down..." </i> This was my absolute favorite line in the article. Get up and do something! :) “…say this: Bring your own ladder. Better yet, kick that sumbitchen door down…”

This was my absolute favorite line in the article. Get up and do something! :)

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]]> By: catherine http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842452 catherine Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:08:54 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842452 I,too, have and continue to have my bouts of depression. Having depression and its cousin, anxiety, doesn't mean you can't help yourself, it just means that the steps you take will be different and harder. First, talk about what you are feeling or not feeling, either to a friend or therapist. There are free or near free sources of therapy in most areas. I have also talked to my priest about what's going on. Hard as it is, I don't isolate. I have also taken anti-depressants on occasion, not as a panacea (which they are not, nor are they without consequence) but as a short term means of coping. Finally, I write like a demon on yellow legal pads, getting whatever it is I have rolling around my head. I don't know why these things work, I just know that they do, at least for me. Now, if I feel myself slipping, I pick up the phone and legal pad. I,too, have and continue to have my bouts of depression. Having depression and its cousin, anxiety, doesn’t mean you can’t help yourself, it just means that the steps you take will be different and harder. First, talk about what you are feeling or not feeling, either to a friend or therapist. There are free or near free sources of therapy in most areas. I have also talked to my priest about what’s going on. Hard as it is, I don’t isolate. I have also taken anti-depressants on occasion, not as a panacea (which they are not, nor are they without consequence) but as a short term means of coping. Finally, I write like a demon on yellow legal pads, getting whatever it is I have rolling around my head. I don’t know why these things work, I just know that they do, at least for me. Now, if I feel myself slipping, I pick up the phone and legal pad.

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]]> By: Jenna, Adaptu Community Manager http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842442 Jenna, Adaptu Community Manager Thu, 05 Jul 2012 21:04:59 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842442 I get that. I just think some people take my silence (when I'm processing things) as consent. It something I'm working on. This quote is a good reminder / mantra. I get that. I just think some people take my silence (when I’m processing things) as consent. It something I’m working on. This quote is a good reminder / mantra.

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]]> By: Nicole http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842412 Nicole Thu, 05 Jul 2012 20:44:04 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842412 Also her excellent blog, surviving and thriving (linked in her name there), and MSN pieces. It is hard to get enough Donna Freedman (I've been a fangirl since her early MSN days!) Also her excellent blog, surviving and thriving (linked in her name there), and MSN pieces. It is hard to get enough Donna Freedman (I’ve been a fangirl since her early MSN days!)

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842362 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 20:05:16 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842362 I write every other week, so see you soon. In the meantime, hope you'll scroll back through some of my other GRS pieces. I write every other week, so see you soon.
In the meantime, hope you’ll scroll back through some of my other GRS pieces.

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]]> By: Cheryl http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842342 Cheryl Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:43:47 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842342 May I add that I was going to recommend you for Writer until I looked back at the intro and saw that you already are. More please. May I add that I was going to recommend you for Writer until I looked back at the intro and saw that you already are. More please.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842322 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:23:11 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842322 No, thank YOU, Sandra. No, thank YOU, Sandra.

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]]> By: Cheryl http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842312 Cheryl Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:21:50 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842312 Loved every word of this. I have a sister that believed the world owes her and continues to screw over everyone in her path. Then she wonders why no one wants anything to do with her in her time of "need". We were all raised in the same house. I feel she should get over it and turn her life around, herself. Blessing to your family/friends that understand that. "Rollover Mopes". I love that. Loved every word of this.

I have a sister that believed the world owes her and continues to screw over everyone in her path. Then she wonders why no one wants anything to do with her in her time of “need”. We were all raised in the same house. I feel she should get over it and turn her life around, herself.
Blessing to your family/friends that understand that.
“Rollover Mopes”. I love that.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842302 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:21:24 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842302 Yep, she is. Not perfect, mind you. Just determined. Yep, she is. Not perfect, mind you. Just determined.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842292 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:16:49 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842292 Thanks, Jenna. Let me be clear: Inaction may be due to a lot of things. Illness, fatigue or the fact that every moment of every day is incredibly fraught (ex: low-wage single working parent of a special-needs child). Whether or not there's a reason for the inaction, the result is the same: You are giving up any hope for positive change. (Ask me how I know.) Thanks, Jenna.
Let me be clear: Inaction may be due to a lot of things. Illness, fatigue or the fact that every moment of every day is incredibly fraught (ex: low-wage single working parent of a special-needs child).
Whether or not there’s a reason for the inaction, the result is the same: You are giving up any hope for positive change. (Ask me how I know.)

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]]> By: CincyCat http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842282 CincyCat Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:15:54 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842282 Thank you both! The hardest part about this time around is the cascade effect of having twice been debt free in the past. This means creditors think you are (gasp) credit-worthy, and so they offer you higher and higher limits. This - coupled with the above-mentioned fiscal irresponsibility - is truly a recipe for financial disaster. I think in this case, we'll go ahead & close the credit cards and take the hit to the credit scores. It will be worth it, if it removes the temptation (as well as the opportunity) to put ourselves in this position again. Thank you both! The hardest part about this time around is the cascade effect of having twice been debt free in the past. This means creditors think you are (gasp) credit-worthy, and so they offer you higher and higher limits. This – coupled with the above-mentioned fiscal irresponsibility – is truly a recipe for financial disaster. I think in this case, we’ll go ahead & close the credit cards and take the hit to the credit scores. It will be worth it, if it removes the temptation (as well as the opportunity) to put ourselves in this position again.

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]]> By: Jenna, Adaptu Community Manager http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842252 Jenna, Adaptu Community Manager Thu, 05 Jul 2012 18:59:14 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842252 Wow! I absolutely love this quote: But just as silence equals consent, inaction equals surrender. Wow! I absolutely love this quote: But just as silence equals consent, inaction equals surrender.

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]]> By: stellamarina http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842212 stellamarina Thu, 05 Jul 2012 18:28:25 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842212 Reminds me of a book I read many years ago..."Everyone needs a kick in the pants" or something like that. The idea was that having a bad shock in life kicks you into action which always works to make you stronger and better. I especially agree with your statement that a decade after your problem you will look back and be amazed at how it changed your life and set new good things into action. 20 years ago, my husband lost his VP job which also meant that we lost the house that went with the job. we floundered around for a few years but the end result was a new job for him, a job for me( I had been home with the children) in a field I loved, and we had to buy a house which is nearly paid off now. With house prices so high in Hawaii now, we would never had been able to afford one if we had waited a few years. It is interesting to look back and see the steps in our life. Not just because of the choices and goals we made but because of what happend along the way. Reminds me of a book I read many years ago…”Everyone needs a kick in the pants” or something like that. The idea was that having a bad shock in life kicks you into action which always works to make you stronger and better.

I especially agree with your statement that a decade after your problem you will look back and be amazed at how it changed your life and set new good things into action.

20 years ago, my husband lost his VP job which also meant that we lost the house that went with the job. we floundered around for a few years but the end result was a new job for him, a job for me( I had been home with the children) in a field I loved, and we had to buy a house which is nearly paid off now. With house prices so high in Hawaii now, we would never had been able to afford one if we had waited a few years. It is interesting to look back and see the steps in our life. Not just because of the choices and goals we made but because of what happend along the way.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842162 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 18:16:42 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842162 As noted, job loss and the resultant budgeting positioned you for what came next: being "a much happier person." Well done, you. As noted, job loss and the resultant budgeting positioned you for what came next: being “a much happier person.” Well done, you.

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]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2012/07/05/straying-off-the-path-or-changing-direction/comment-page-1/#comment-2842152 Donna Freedman Thu, 05 Jul 2012 18:13:59 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=138422#comment-2842152 As long as people realize that "Play the hand you're dealt" doesn't mean, "You're screwed and always will be." It's not an admonition to ACCEPT bad circumstances. Merely to acknowledge where you are and figure out how to get somewhere else. In the past eight years I've found that it's easier to admit being scared than to fight being scared. But the fear no longer paralyzes me (for long, anyway). These days it energizes me: "OK, so I hate feeling this way. What can I do to change the situation, even in a small way?" As long as people realize that “Play the hand you’re dealt” doesn’t mean, “You’re screwed and always will be.”
It’s not an admonition to ACCEPT bad circumstances. Merely to acknowledge where you are and figure out how to get somewhere else.
In the past eight years I’ve found that it’s easier to admit being scared than to fight being scared. But the fear no longer paralyzes me (for long, anyway). These days it energizes me: “OK, so I hate feeling this way. What can I do to change the situation, even in a small way?”

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