This is a wake-up call.

Great post!!

Taka

Thanks for this. I thought I was just a REALLY slow learner. It may have something to do with hormones. If the BS detectors of young women worked better the human race would be extinct.=)

My own B.S. detector seems to be on “pause” right now. I’m visiting my dad and find myself eating bad (i.e., yummy) stuff that is not helping my weight-loss and overall health goals.

I know that intellectually. Emotionally? I want to eat the stuff I grew up eating.

Here’s a real whopper of a rationalization: I wanted *one* Wawa shorti hoagie on this trip. Went to church with my dad and stepmother and guess what? They’re selling Wawa short hoagie coupons to raise money to protect the really old stained-glass windows.

It’s for a good cause, right? Right???

I bought two. I’d like to say that I stopped at two because I realized that was the smart move. In fact, I stopped at two because all I had on me after the collection was a $10 bill. (I didn’t ask for my change back from the $8 purchase. Those windows really do need to be protected.)

This time I am NOT taking home or mailing home any Tastykakes, Herrs chips, etc. That’s one sign of progress, I guess.

Moderation in all things, including moderation — but seriously, I need to lay off the sugar. After several months of eating mostly homemade yogurt with fruit for my desserts, all the treats are making me giddy. You wouldn’t like me when I’m giddy.

An unfortunately large number of the women I speak with even casually show some aspect of this tendency. If I had a dime for every woman who said, “This is probably a dumb question, but…” or “I wish I weren’t so stupid about…” — well, I’d have a lot of dimes. Sigh.

Then I realized that I could actually do this all by my lonesome. Better in fact than anyone else could. What a wonderful feeling that is to experience your own power over your own life.

Also, the reason many may be “content” to pay the minimum is that there is no reason to excellerate payments right now. In most cases, student loans carry the smallest interest rates and the interest payments are tax deductible.

It’s kind of similar to how there are a few people who go out and buy boats and declare bankruptcy, but every study on the matter shows that most bankruptcies are a result of job loss, medical expenses, and divorce. It’s not possible to create a system that nobody will abuse, but that’s the price of keeping a safety net in place for the majority of people who need it.

The other part of this, of course, is that student loans aren’t eligible for bankruptcy. So loan forgiveness programs really are the only safety net there. You can go out and buy a boat, use it for a few years, then not have to pay for it (if you’re willing to take a credit hit). You don’t have that option for student loans; all you can do is hope you can get an eligible job, work at it for at least a decade, and make certain payments in the mean time. I actually find it fairly hilarious that that’s considered the “irresponsible” option.

I find loan forgiveness different than tuition re-payment, because tuition is the same for everyone. The loan amounts for two different people getting the same degree can be 10′s of thousands of dollars different. Why should we pay more for person A to up their lifestyle while in school versus person B? Why not forgive the amount that covers tuition, but have people remain on the hook for their lifestyle costs?

I even read it whilst eating lunch, keeping in the New England tradition (or so my DH tells me) of reading/hearing/seeing something entirely unappetizing during a meal.

But either way, if someone forgoes working at a corporate law firm to work as a public defender for ten years, they’re probably giving up $100k a year minimum, possibly much more in the later years. Nobody would make that trade-off just to get out of paying $150k of student loans.

I certainly think that student loan forgiveness has its place. You bring up the more clear cut career choices that might necessitate loan forgiveness. For instance, doctors in under-served or rural areas. My original comment was more directed at what I read yesterday, none of which fell into that category.

It is clear to me that the loan forgiveness program should be more strictly regulated. The public sector is too broad, and its broadness makes it rife for abuse. I also think it would be good to cap loan forgiveness at the level of state tuition and modest living expenses. Anything above that should be paid back by the individual.

No matter what you or anyone else argues about the societal value of this program, it’s not going to sit well with me that a law student with $100,000 in loan debt can be a public defender for a discreet amount of time, have their loans forgiven, and then enter corporate law and rake in the dough. It’s possible under the current laws, and I don’t think it’s right.

I should have known…

Its my fault…

Then:

I’m not good enough for…

I haven’t earned…

I guess my “problem” is probably rare according to most of the comments here, but this other extreme is probably equally as unhelpful to my situation as putting the blame elsewhere.

I haven’t had a vacation in 7 years because “I don’t deserve it” for whatever reasons. How do you balance?

Thank you for the food for thought, Donna.