He certainly was never hurting anyone, but he was a huge burden on society. He rarely had car insurance or health insurance. He was never saving for retirement or the future and when he inevitably gets sick or old it is society who will pick up the bill.

I think it’s pretty fair to look down on all of these things. I don’t have a problem with anyone partying their life away as long as they are paying their way. He never has.

I think that people misunderstood when I said that I “laughed at his antics.” What I meant was that he is actually funny. Afterall, something had to attract me to him, right? The things he does and the stories he tells are hilarious. It’s just not funny when you are trying to cohabitate with someone and they spend your rent money on a tattoo. =)

He certainly was never hurting anyone, but he was a huge burden on society. He rarely had car insurance or health insurance. He was never saving for retirement or the future and when he inevitably gets sick or old it is society who will pick up the bill.

I think it’s pretty fair to look down on all of these things. I don’t have a problem with anyone partying their life away as long as they are paying their way. He never has.

I think that people misunderstood when I said that I “laughed at his antics.” What I meant was that he is actually funny. Afterall, something had to attract me to him, right? The things he does and the stories he tell are hilarious. It’s just not funny when you are trying to cohabitate with someone and they spend your rent money on a tattoo. =)

But… I am left to wonder who is enjoying their life more. God forbid if our life is cut short in our 30s, I’d rather be Jack.

…and cheering.

You’re right about a few things. He definitely doesn’t care what I think, nor did he ever. You’re also right that he probably feels as if he dodged a bullet with me. Afterall, he saw me as a fun-hater because I wanted him to be go to his job, pay bills, and take care of the other responsibilities that most adults take care of.

There have definitely been times when I wish I could just blow off all of my responsibilities. Howevever, I don’t work that way. I want to and will retire early. I like not having my utilities shut off for non-payment. I love having two kids and being able to afford them. I enjoy not having to hide money anymore for fear of my significant other spending it on tattoos or rounds of drinks for his friends. My level of responsibility might be a giant buzzkill for some people, and that is okay with me.

Except, of course, those who disagree with them and their saintly non-judgemental views.

Jack may read this (fat chance) and get his FEELINGS HURT???

OMG!

That is absolutely the worst thing in the world that can happen to a human being…

Sorry, but I do not for a New York minute believe PC crud about how everyone’s choices in life are equally valuable and worthy of respect. People like “Jack” expect someone else to be responsible and clean up their messes, and the mess cleaner of last resort is social service agencies funded with taxpayer dollars.

I once shared an apartment with a fellow college student and we were BOTH financially inept. Luckily I didn’t have many credit cards and couldn’t run up enough debt to ruin my life…

I also didn’t imply that other people shouldn’t do this. I merely said that it makes people feel badly, and that perhaps you shouldn’t verbalize it/write entire blog posts on it. Clearly people compare themselves all the time. However, is that how you TRULY define success?? At the end of the day is it about being better then others? Or about being satisfied with one’s own achievements, regardless of what others do?

I don’t actually have an issue with anything she did. In my original comment, I said she appears to have made wise choices and she should be proud. I am grateful in my life to have married a man who is extremely responsible with his money, and would not have been able to personally tolerate such a relationship over a long term either. Just because I approve of her choices regarding ending the relationship, doesn’t mean I have to like her publishing a blog post about how much better her choices are then her ex’s. Why does my objection to her EXPRESSION of her past choices mean I have to object to her actual choices?

OK, so there you go-I 100% approve of Holly and her choice of ending that relationship. And I also think this post was in somewhat poor taste. Again, some of the commenters seem to think that if you object in any way that you are somehow approving financial irresponsibility or being mean. Why do I have to like everything everyone does?

A man who works when he doesn’t really feel like it? What a saint!

I’m not sure if you were being facetious or not, but that line is funny either way.

Jokes aside, I really liked this post. It’s nice to hear about someone who’s more financially irresponsible than I am (just got back from an opp-coast vaca to go to a bar and a concert). It’s also a good reminder that the finances of those around us can affect us. Thanks for the post!

My husband was a Jack. He was 40 when we met, a struggling actor in LA, working temp jobs, spending everything the instant he made it. Couldn’t get a credit card or even a bank account, buried in debt, living it up.

I loved that fun side; my life was way too uptight and full of worry. We had a conversation about money early on, and we kept having it. He made the choice to make some changes. And, incidentally, so did I.

Now he has a steady job, acting on the side, paying off old debts. I don’t worry too much or try to suppress him. He hasn’t gotten to the point of saving yet, but between us we’re a good balance. He makes sure we enjoy life now, and I make sure we have a little something for later.

It sounds like this was not the man for you and you were not the woman for him. He might read your posts and think similarly that he dodged a bullet because clearly you were not meant for each other. You would likely have nagged him about his finances throughout your relationship, so I’m sure he wouldn’t like that.

To go along with some of the arguments regarding the fact that some people do and can change, when I first met my husband he had a lot of problems. By the time we started dating he had begun to turn his life around. We would not have gotten along at all if we had started dating even a year before. One of the areas included his finances. He carried balances on his credit cards and didn’t even know the total of what he owed. Apparently I inspired him to improve since he could tell that it was “off-putting” to me. He also quit smoking because he could tell it grossed me out. I didn’t ask him to do any of it. He wanted to do it to better his life and maybe I inspired him. We often laugh because his family likes to give me credit for his betterment, but in reality it was just serendipidous. He was ready to make the changes just at the time that we started to date. We discuess finances openly and eventually I offered him a “reward” to inspire him to pay the credit cards off…the biggest tv that he wanted (so long as it fit in the armoir When he paid off the cards, I bought him the tv (cash of course) and signed up for fancy cable to accompany it. So, for my husband did make some big changes, but I don’t take credit for them.

This Jack didn’t want to change and probably still didn’t want to. So, I think it sounds like it’s best that they went their separate ways. They can laugh at the bullets that they each dodged and I don’t see anything wrong with that.