Ask the Readers: If parents are paying for college, are any majors off limits?
Published on - September 28th, 2012 (by Ellen Cannon) This is a guest post from Jacqueline Whiton, who self-financed her undergraduate education and MBA. She is interested in personal finance and is saving to fund her three teenagers’ anticipated college expenses.
After saving since your child was in preschool, you celebrate euphorically when your son or daughter is accepted to the college of his or her choice. You’d always imagined that your math whiz would become a chief financial officer (CFO), but are surprised when Junior says, “I’m leaning toward majoring in history.”
My friend Karen describes a similar scenario:
Our daughter worked hard throughout high school, earning nearly straight A’s and assuming leadership positions in sports and clubs. Her passion for and success in speech and debate tournaments seemed to position her well for a career as an attorney.
Now that she has been accepted to college, she says she really wants to major in film studies with a goal to be involved in making movies. We are worried that this is a lot like wanting to become a rock star: a few people make a lot of money but there are many more struggling artists who barely get by.
My husband and I have worked hard to save for our daughter’s education so that she should not have to take out much in student loans if she completes her degree in four years. But, we hadn’t anticipated that our hard-earned dollars might go to pay for a course of study that has questionable financial prospects.
We are torn about whether to pay for her to study anything that she wants, or to withhold or limit our financial support if she insists on majoring in something we feel is frivolous.
If we “hold our nose” and write the checks, we risk wasting a lot of money on a degree that may not help our daughter launch a solid career. On the other hand, if she studies something she truly loves, she may ultimately become a success in her chosen field.
We are considering holding back some of the funds in her 529 plan, possibly rolling it over to one of her younger siblings. This is leading to conflict between us that I wish we could avoid at what should be an exciting time in her life.
What should Karen do?
It is certainly reasonable to guide a young adult toward a practical career when you are paying the bulk of the bill. New college graduates face a challenging employment landscape and should do whatever they can to increase their chances of finding productive work once they complete their degrees.
Parents do not “owe” their offspring a free college education, but those who have saved for college often understandably want to help their kids avoid as much debt as possible, and savings in 529 plans must be used for educational expenses to avoid tax penalties.
Karen’s first option, paying the bills regardless of her child’s concentration in college, preserves the right to say, “I told you so,” but should only be embraced if she believes that there is a way to turn just about any subject into a viable career.
If she’s scrimped and saved for years and honestly feels that her daughter is dumping money down the drain, there is no reason to passively accept that fate. Karen could explain her concerns about the choice of major and insist that her daughter augment her education with coursework that Karen feels is appropriate. She might offer to pay for tuition, books, fees and living expenses in proportion to the practical courses studied each semester. The student would be expected to work and/or borrow to cover the proportion of expenses related to studies disapproved by Karen.
Ideally, Karen and her daughter will come to an agreement on a major that Karen doesn’t mind financing. Whether that involves her daughter convincing her mother of the value of a film studies major, or both parties agreeing on some other course of study, doesn’t matter.
How to think about choosing a major
Karen should outline a list of steps her daughter can take to convince her that a film studies major is reasonable, and explain that she will pay only as much as her conscience allows if she remains unconvinced. Potential requirements for her daughter could be:
- Review the Occupational Handbook at the Bureau of Labor Statistics and document the mean annual wage for people in her desired field, as well as the employment outlook for her intended profession.
- Ask her college to put her in touch with recent graduates in the same major and contact former students to find out about their post-college experience. Have they found work? Are they pleased with the pay and work environment? How optimistic are they about their career prospects? Is further education likely to be required?
- Contact the college’s placement center or work with professors to identify relevant internship opportunities (even if unpaid) that may be available to students and approach companies or organizations to learn details of those internships.
- Participate in volunteer work that allows her to learn more about working in the film industry and build skills at the same time.
Karen should commit to keeping an open mind about the value of her daughter’s proposed degree and insist that her daughter also keep an open mind. If it turns out there are more opportunities than she imagined available to film studies majors, Karen can pay as much as she can comfortably afford to support that degree pursuit. But, if her daughter discovers that the post-college road is bleak for those who majored in film studies, or similar subject, it would be wise to select a major with brighter prospects. It’s always possible to take a few film studies courses for fun while concentrating elsewhere.
What would you do? Would you let your child choose any major?
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My biggest concern with the reader question is whether the parent has changed the rules after the child has spoken her dream as to college major. If a child is made aware that parents will pay for college and the child makes a decision after that point as to the degree, it is unfair to change the rules at this point–even if the conditions were not ironed out completely at first. If your child was completely unaware that you would be paying for college, you can surprise her as to the gift and let her know that you will give her this gift IF she chooses a career that meets these requirements . . .
Regardless, you should spend the same amount of money on each child. If you can’t agree to pay for college costs, don’t remove the money from that child–you can use that extra money for a down payment on a home for that child when the child is ready for a home (or use it for a wedding or for something else). It is your money, but you can’t use it as a weapon and you have to be fair. Threatening to give the money you save for her to another child who makes “better” decisions, as judged by you, is dangerous and can create a wedge. I know of parents who refused to help pay for a wedding, a house, college, simply because they would have made a different decision–all caused a big rift.
Oh, and if you are really wanting her to be an attorney, the undergraduate degree can be in anything. A degree in theater/film may be PERFECT for a trial attorney. If you want to be an attorney, you do NOT get an undergrad degree in poli-sci. Ugh. Most law schools will say the same thing! This way, she can try her dream and if it doesn’t work, she can go back to law school and will likely do better than those who go straight thru.
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Interesting topic.
My opinion :
* Does the daughter actually understand the employment prospects for film studies? This is a biggy. Is she aware that only ~1 in 10 film study grads works in the industry? Film study majors are 3 times more likely to end up in the ‘food service industry’ (i.e. waiters) than they are to be in the movie industry. The student should be fully aware of how the industry works and not have any delusions about how easy it is.
* Were there strings attached to the college funding? THe daughter is apparently a senior in high school and this seems pretty late to attach strings. If you had strings attached to the money then that should have been communicated well before now. What career guidance have you been giving her till now? Why are you surprised about the film study choice?
* The money is a gift. Theres no return on investment involved here. What if your child majors in engineering then fails to get a job? Are you wasting your money? If you assume your child majors in film study and fails to get a job in the industry then you’re assuming the child will fail. Why not assume they’ll fail in general then?
* Why are you paying for their college? Generally the real goal there is to ease the burden of the cost on the child, right? If you don’t pay then they end up with a big pile of loans. SO paying basically keeps them from having that pile of debt. Whats the impact of this if they get a high paying degree versus a potentially less paying degree? Paying actually helps the high paying degree less overall. Say you have 2 kids: One gets a computer science degree and makes $80k a year. YOu pay for their college. THe other kid goes into art history and makes $25k a year and you dont pay and they have a pile of loans. So the kid who makes no money didn’t get your help and the kid who makes a good wage got your help. Again why are you paying? To help the kid financially. Would you be more inclined to help your child who makes $80k or $25k?
* Chances are high she’ll change majors in a year or two anyway. How would that make you feel? Would you unfund them halfway through college if they choose to change majors to something you don’t like? If so then make sure to tell them so in advance.
Of course, in the end its your money and you can do whatever you want with it.
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Meh, I would have her pay for it herself. All of this “but it’s not fair!” and then the “she’s an adult and she should make her own decisions!”
- okay, so treat her like an adult. Adult’s pay for their own choices. Done.
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My opinion is that high-schoolers need to be explained the realities of life. Most simply don’t have enough life experience to know that a particular college major will land them in the poorhouse, and that the degree may become, essentially, worthless.
There are some options:
- If they really want to pursue a major that you disagree with, you can allow them to pay themselves.
- You could explain to them that if they are that passionate about film (or art history, or Psychology, or dance, or whatever) then you will pay for a “traditional” undergraduate degree, and they are free to pursue a graduate degree in whatever they choose (on their dime).
- Work through it with them. Find out if they have a real PLAN for a career, or if they are simply following an enjoyable hobby. Many pursuits (especially in the arts) can be attained through avenues other than college.
I just think young adults are not given enough direction on “life lessons” (money, responsibility, etc.).
Whether we like it or not, this is NOT 1990 or 1985 or 10980 or 1970. College is SERIOUSLY expensive, so unless you are talking about an affordable local community college, I think parents should require a little more justification for a major before shelling out tens of thousands of dollars per year for it.
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http://zenpencils.com/comic/83-howard-thurman-ask-yourself/
Just a thought.
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This may be a European perspective – but there really are only a few things where the actual subject of your degree matters. If you’re a doctor/lawyer then there is absolutely specific training. But a lot of jobs want you to be well educated not to have particular training in something very applied. In the UK it’s called the milk round – you do the best degree you can in the best university you can in a subject you enjoy – then you apply for those jobs with more general requirements. Take a sensible degree, do the career your excited about (with back ups available). Everyone is happy!
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Would you consider a hybrid solution? Pay for your daughter’s core curriculum and let her good grades and responsible behavior help pave the way for scholarships and grants in her field of choice. You get the satisfaction of seeing your hard earned money go to something valuable (your daughter’s general college education) and she gets the satisfaction of choosing her own field. Her grades and activities indicate she is very intelligent, so figuring out how to get balance of her education paid for shouldn’t be a problem.
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Her undergraduate degree is not going to make much of a difference to her earning ability. I was an English major; now I’m an accounting manager.
How about this: reimburse her for her college expenses once she finds a job after graduation (whether or not it’s related to her degree), but force her to pay tuition and expenses herself up front.
Or pay for half of it and tell her she can get a second degree once she’s earned what you deem to be a financially viable degree. A friend did this – she has a degree in international relations, went on to a year-long make-up school in France, and is now a very successful makeup artist in New York.
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Forcing your child to major in a field they do not want to would be a complete waste of money. There are no two ways about it.
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Exactly. Let her study what she’s interested in, then her college experience will be about the education she received. If you force her to study something she’s not engaged in, then she’ll be more likely to make college about having fun on your dime.
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This is a great article, and the comments are even better.
I just want to say that I believe a child should contribute to the financing of their education, no matter what. My father paid for my undergraduate degree — I was grateful, but didn’t truly understand the gift he gave me at the time. He would not pay for my master’s degree — and I paid for it with student loans. Suddenly I realized what an education can cost, and I was much more aware of the choices I made.
I finished my master’s degree by the skin of my teeth. If I hadn’t been paying for it myself, I may have been much more tempted to quit. But I didn’t want to have $20,000 in student loans and nothing to show for it.
My husband worked his way through college in his late 20s, and he appreciated the sacrafice we made to get him through. It was a much different experience.
Gap years, community colleges, work experience — all great ideas. I know too many people with college degrees who feel like the time and money was a complete waste because they can’t find jobs in their field. The Education Bubble is real.
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Does this really have to be an either or situation? Can she double major in film studies and something more practical? Maybe a business degree, which would help her in the film business but also provide a lot of alternative career paths should that not work out?
My step son spent about 10 years struggling in his start-up business, living with a sibling, and driving hand-me down cars. We all wondered if it was for naught until his business suddenly took off – amazingly right as the rest of the economy was sinking into the Great Recession. If we had been advising we would have told him to give up and get a job. Who knows what will work and what won’t?
There are no guarantees with any career path. Your daughter is hard working and accomplished. Trust her a little.
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I think if you are paying for college, you are paying for college. You can try all sorts of ways to influence your kids, but I’m not a fan of using money as a hammer. In our family, it is clear that you are on your own after college, so our kids will have to keep in mind how they are going to support themselves upon graduation. I was definitely pragmatic about this when I was in school, and I expect my children will be too. That said, my father (who foot the bill for us all) was pretty clear about what “acceptable” majors would be. Three of us obeyed his rules, and the last child did her own thing (and was still financially supported). She was still highly employable with her philosophy degree. Two of us pursued business careers despite my father preferring science or engineering. We were the most financially successful, and my dad admitted his error years after college.
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All I can say is that whatever college my children choose — clown or barber — they will have my full support.
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If I could go back in time I’d tell my high school senior self to skip college altogether. I’ve come to the realization that often times you can get a decent job without a degree at all, and even if you get a degree, you will likely end up in a different industry anyway.
My suggestion to all high school seniors would be to go out there and get a job, try to get a feel for what you want to do in life. And I don’t mean that only because of the financial aspect of higher education, because I was lucky enough to walk away with no loans, but I wasted precious years that could have been used for figuring out exactly what I wanted to do. You won’t know what job you like by going to classes, you’ll figure it out by actually working, and you can always go back to school (and have your employer pay for a portion of it)
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Karen should look up the “Weird Al” music video “Skipper Dan”. That’s going to be her daughter, if she goes into film.
(Seriously, look it up on YouTube. It’s depressing and funny all at the same time, and totally about this very topic.)
Poor Skipper Dan.
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I found the confusion of Career training and education insulting. If you saved for career training for you offspring, then that is what you agreed to pay for. If you saved for education remember that a well rounded educated person is pursuing knowledge to broaden themselves.
A college education can be both an education and vocational training. But to encourage education and then limit it to those areas that have a vocational purpose is a bait and switch.
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No, a college degree is still worth the time and effort. I would probably restrict the choice of schools to public universities. Perhaps even suggest community college for the first 2 years.
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I think this post could use a comment from someone who majored in “something weird”. I majored in art and video game design and graduated in 2006 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts.
My parents paid for all 35k it, and their friends thought they were insane for letting me “major in playing video games”. (A retort I once heard was, “Are you minoring in beer?”)
Here’s my story:
I am 28 years old now. I had good enough grades in high school but I wasn’t anyone notable. 3.8 gpa perhaps, one AP class, never made it beyond Algebra II, no extra curriculars, and few interests outside of art, writing, the Internet, and video games. You could describe me as a nerdy artist. Some things I do have: an extraordinarily stubborn personality, perfectionism, and a love of learning new things.
My parents graciously allowed me to attend the school of my choice and they paid the tuition. I guess they knew better than to fight with me over it, and I’d shown little aptitude for anything outside of the arts.
I chose a private art school (it’s a national chain you’d probably recognize) and I had absolutely no idea what a DEAL I was getting at the time. All told, my college education cost them about $35k, but it should have cost about $70k. The deal was I first did two years of gen ed courses at the local community college, and then I transferred them to the art school a year and a half later.
I lived at home and commuted about 20 minutes to the campus. My parents were supportive 90% of the time and the other 10% of the time there was a lot of hand-wringing over whether I’d ever find work. Fortunately, I found a fantastic full time position 2 weeks after I graduated.
I am now almost seven years into a career as a video game designer, earning $68k a year in a part of the west coast where that paycheck goes pretty far.
My work is interesting and challenging: on my last project, I was a lead on a team of 13 or so and I designed an economy. My most important skills are written communication, organization, clever problem solving, an eye for artistic composition, and interpersonal skills. You can absolutely make a living in something that isn’t… well, whatever “normal people” major in.
Following my aptitude and interests has worked out great for me. I seriously could not ask for more, and I am so grateful for my parents’ support because I now I get to do something I love during the day and I earn enough to come home to a comfortable home where there is always food on the table, money for emergencies, and savings for the future. I met my husband in this field, and like me, he also majored in art. He now earns 85k a year. We have found success despite our nontraditional careers.
So, in short, I’m a big proponent of “do what you’re good at” and “do what you want to do” and of course, “make it work”.
Work hard, stay competitive, and always be learning new things. If you approach your education and your chosen field that way, just about any field is viable.
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One could counter-retort that many college students, regardless of their majors, minor in beer
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My passion is writing but knowing that most writers live under the poverty line, I was practical and pursued a business degree and kept writing as a hobby.
Today, my day job is lucrative enough that I can retire at 45.
Also, I’ve been published since high school and earn very decent play money from my writing. Since writing is my passion, I was willing to work on it without having to waste 4 years and a lot of $$$ at university.
If you truly love something, you’ll study the craft and do it WITHOUT having to pay someone to make you do it.
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If you are paying for it, you have a right to dictate what is studied. But there are many caveats.
1. Try to force someone to do something. Just try. Force your daugther to become a lawyer and it just won’ work. If her heart is in it, forget about it.
2. A film major is worthless. If she really, really wants to make films, she will find a way — regardless of what her degree is.
3. Remind her that a JD is a valuable qualification — one that can be used in any number of productive, creative ways. A film BA is another story.
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This is an interesting one. One the one hand it’s extremely controlling to say that you’ll only pay for a certain degree, on the other hand no one is “owed” tuition from their parents.
For other parents thinking about the same topic, I would suggest that paying only for desired majors is perfectly fair as long as you make this clear with your child early on (say, when they start high school). Then they have the ability to make choices with all the information they need and not be blindsided by something like this at the last minute. Is it controlling? Sure. But the child has plenty of time to decide to pay for school on their own (as many students do).
For these particular parents, I think they’re pulling a bit of a bait and switch on their child. If they have always maintained that they will pay for her college, they should honour that, or at least come to some sort of compromise such as paying for a portion. I don’t think its right to hit someone with this at the last minute.
In general though, I think that trying to control your child’s degree is a risky proposition. Instead of guiding them down a prosperous path you may instead create resentment and a poor relationship, or push them to waste time studying something they aren’t well suited to (guess what, the work world won’t accept you just because you have the right degree!). I’d guess that you’d be better off creating clear expectations of what you’re willing to contribute well in advance and trying to influence their choice of degree in other ways.
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Remember, you’re not voting here on just ‘college major’. Because it’s not about college major, it’s about CAREER. Visual design career would *still* not make good money even if you could get into it for free; same with social work.
Unless you and your child agree on what constitutes a valid career for them, if you are planning to use the financial aid formula’s reliance on your image to tell your kid what career they should pick– tell your child so, and give them the choice to break away financially at 18.
Because, you see, no matter what *you* decide, the financial aid formula is based on a defined contribution as long as that young adult is a dependent on your taxes.
If your child chooses to get a degree in Accountancy because Forbes says its a good choice– but that’s not really what they want to do with their life– why should either of you waste the money to go to a college that might lure them away into their unlucrative passion.
Instead, if they agree to let you dictate what careers are acceptable for their first career even if they dislike it– do online schooling, or local community college, or state school. The only exception to this is if the student has entree to a name school for something they are willing to major in from your list– for instance, if your alma mater will give them great financial aid for your sake. Otherwise, without the passion and the brand name, a degree in a field the student doesn’t care about is just as useful from a low-name school as an expensive one, and costs you less if they flunk/drop out. Think how you would feel if you put lots of money in to sending your kid to an engineering school and they failed out of their engineering classes and left the field of ‘business’ after a few years to get in touch with themselves by selling sandals in Aruba?
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This story made me so angry I could spit. Though these are certainly not the only parents trying to shoehorn their square pegs into round holes.
First off, education is never wasted., nor is the money spent on it. A degree in partying is not education, whether you are an engineer or an artist.
I’m blessed by having parents who supported me in obtaining professional qualifications in first the visual arts and then in medicine…not so much with money, because they didn’t have much, but with their belief in my ability to know myself, to work hard, and to define success on my own terms. My father struggles with the fact that I earn less money than I could because I choose to spend half my work week making art instead of practicing medicine, but he grants me the good sense to manage my own life. Thanks, Dad.
Which is not to say there weren’t expectations. Far from it: I was expected to get good grades, ideally earn scholarships, and most importantly once I graduated I was expected to live as an independent adult. Which I did, even before I went back to school (on my own dime) for my medical degree.
To those who say the arts can always be a sideline and don’t require serious study…you are wrong. People can be talented amateurs but if you really want to pursue any of the arts professionally, you need qualifications, just as you do in any line of work. And it will be a whole lot harder to immerse oneself in learning said profession while you are trying to also work in whatever other field you’ve slotted yourself into, especially if you hate it. Do it first, while you are unencumbered. If you’ve learned to be a responsible adult along the way, you will figure out how to make a living.
For parents to give their children time to explore a passion — what a gift. To refuse to spend the money you’ve already saved on that– well, to me, that’s saying you don’t value the person they think they are. I can’t imagine having to live with that message.
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You’re right – art is not easy.
Last summer I took a drawing class as a break from the work-related computer science courses I had been taking. I discovered that yes, I did still have the artisitic talent I had when I was a child/teen. I also discovered that drawing a realistic still life requires patience, tenacity, more patience, and a combination of fine motor skills, understanding light, and the ability to visualize 3-D objects.
And my feet got tired from standing at the easel for long periods of time, and my arm, shoulder, and hand got sore from shading in shadows.
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Education is never a waste.
My youngest dd wanted to get a degree in performing arts (she’d danced for years, etc.) I encouraged it. You are only young once and I didn’t want her to go through life always wondering “what if”. We paid for her tuition, she paid books, etc. We also encouraged her to have a “back-up” plan in case her dream didn’t pay off. She opted to get a dual degree – performing arts and early childhood development, with a goal of teaching dance when she could no longer perform professionally. Well, shortyly before graduation she tore up her knee, had surgery and can not only never dance professionally again, she can not dance enough to teach it either. Her childhood development degree though allows her to teach at a day care. She still thinks it was awesome to have the opportunity to follow her dream, even though it never materialized for her.
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A double-major might be a good compromise. It is certainly more work, but the young lady’s high school career shows that she can handle it. One of my good friends in college had sort of a reverse problem; she had earned a full-ride scholarship for music, but what she really wanted to be when she grew up was an ESL teacher. She double-majored in music (to fulfill her scholarship requirements) and ESL Education (to follow her passion). It took her 5 years to finish all of the coursework but 4 were covered completely by the music scholarship.
Perhaps Karen’s daughter would be well-served by double-majoring in film and something related, but with stronger earning prospects? Like marketing or communications, or design? The additional courses will only strengthen her savvy as a film-maker, and also provide additional opportunities to work related industries where she can build up a professional network to support her hoped-for film career.
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I was the OP’s daughter in my situation.
My parents are both computer industry whizzes. My brother was equally as smart in that field, and became a programmer. They fully expected me to do the same, but the idea made me want to drown myself.
I wanted to major in Communications. My parents were appalled. But they swallowed it down and helped me with tuition.
MY program was awesome-the first year, you spent some time working radio, tv, and writing so you would learn production and see what you wanted to do. I hated the production end, so I ended up in PR. And I loved it and busted my ass.
From sophomore year on, I talked to professors after class to ask them if they could introduce me to professionals that would agree to be my mentor. I started interning my sophomore year. By the time I graduated, I had 5 internships, and a monstrous portfolio with glowing recommendations.
I had 3 job offers before I graduated. I have never been out of work; I’m still frequently contacted to see if I want a new job. I also love what I do.
It’s all about initiative. If your child is the kind of personality that MAKES stuff happen, she’ll be fine in film studies. Just encourage her to make connections, get involved, and start looking for internships right away.
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Interesting discussion. I don’t think it’s necessary to even pay for your kid’s college, so I’m with the stance that I probably wouldn’t pay for such a nonsensical degree.
What I would do is pay for the courses that are transferable to another degree. For instance, most majors require a language, an English course, a science of some sort.. there are bridging courses that she’ll have to take either way. So I would pay for those.
I’m thinking the kid probably wouldn’t pick that major if she was footing the bill herself.
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Law school isn’t such a great idea right now. Thousands of students graduate each year with hundreds of thousands of dollar worth of debt only to find that the market is saturated and there is no high paid lawyer job at the end of there degree.
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She sounds like a very ambitious daughter. I have to assume that she will be driven to be successful at anything she does. I followed my passion when going to college. I went to a big state school to study aviation. I unfortunately didn’t have my tuition paid for by my parents. After college I found work in selling financial products making a very respectable income. I was able to live very comfortable with my respectable income. But I was very unhappy, because I wasn’t doing what I loved. I took a 60% pay cut to be an airline pilot, which pays very very little (google first year airline pilot salary). I found a way to make it work. It is very hard making budgets that work, but I manage. It is all worth it because I don’t work, I get paid to do what I love. If I didn’t have a mortgage sized student loan, working my passion and love would be all that much easier. If your daughter has a true and unwavering passion for film, than giving her the opportunity to enter the workforce of film education debt or close to debt free might be the biggest and best leg up in the workforce.
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She’ll probably change her major anyway. Most kids do. I started off in aerospace engineering and ended up in paralegal studies, with business in between.
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I was a theatre major in college; I graduated in ’95. Since my parents paid for school, I agreed to their wishes that I add a second major as a backup, which was Spanish.
I have had steady, well-paying work in theatre ever since I graduated, and never needed to use my back-up degree.
I’m now a theatre professor, and my students are regularly getting jobs in the field after graduation.
I should note that my specialty is design and technology, not acting. For us folk, there are decent jobs aplenty. For actors, not so much. The same applies to filmmaking. It’s reasonable for a young person to find steady work in film production, with the goal of becoming a director some day.
The concentration within one’s major matters very much. And while I don’t think it’s a great idea to force your child into a particular major because you’re footing the bill, requiring a double major in something more “practical” isn’t a bad idea.
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A double major would not be too difficult given the course load for a film studies major. You could always start the idea as a minor in something more practical that she has a genuine interest in.
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The parents aren’t thinking clearly: she can MINOR in whatever she wants. Or hell, work hard and do a DOUBLE major.
Compromise, compromise. And expanding one’s skill set at the same time!
From a reader whose parents’ undergrads/Master’s/PhD have no bearing on what they are now doing, nor does her liberal arts degree (Classical Civilisation with a minor in Linguistics). As I always say, “I got an education, not a vocation.”
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There seems to be a serious lack of communication in this family, which should be addressed before anything else. The daughter “seeming to be well positioned for a career as an attorney” does NOT make it sound like the girl planned to be a lawyer all her life, then suddenly did a 180 and took up a lust for Hollywood. It sounds like mom is assuming a lot and interpreting her daughter’s plans through a lens of her own desires.
What was discussed before? Has her major never come up before now, and if not–why? Has she been known to change her mind frequently over the years, or is there a common thread among all her interests?
Automatically assuming an 18-year-old is just naive and Mom knows best is ageist and ridiculous. In forty-some years I’ve known plenty of teenagers with more sense than their parents!
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There’s two ways to approach this. There’s the “I want to work in the film industry AKA Hollywood” perspective, in which case she would *absolutely* benefit from computer and business classes (any reasonably bright student would easily see the logic in that), given the many disparate employment avenues that the field contains.
On the other hand, if her interest in film studies is primarily from the academic/scholarly perspective, e.g. she wants to become a professor of film studies, work at the National Archives in the film division, or the like, then you might have to work a tad harder to encourage her to take some “practical coursework”….or maybe not, after a quick spin around the interwebs for things like “humanities PhD job statistics.” In any case, a back-up plan is never a bad thing!
In conclusion, it’s not an all or nothing situation. Let the kid major in film/theater/basket weaving, and reason them into minoring in business/computer science/etc.
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Compelling post! I like the author’s suggestion of having the daughter do due diligence before committing to the major, that’s smart. Ultimately, if the daughter has a good head on her shoulders and is passionate about film, and after her research still decides on becoming a film major, I’d advise the parent to fund as much of the education as she would have if her daughter had chosen a more acceptable major (to the parent). A parent can give suggestions and advice, but a parent can not live their child’s life for their child.
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I haven’t read the comments but I feel I have to point out that if she chooses not to help her, not only will her daughter have poor earnings prospect, but she’ll have to pay a pile of loans with her small salary.
I think paying for your kids education is about giving them a good start in the form of a $0 bank balance at the start of their career, instead of the -$X0000 bank balance they’ll have if they have to borrow.
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My sister went to school for a marketing degree because it was “practical” and parent-approved. She hated her courses, struggled, and then bounced between entry level jobs she was never happy with. A decade later, she has just finished a second undergraduate degree in a completely different field and finally started a career she was happy with.
On the other hand, I finished an undergrad degree in architectural history, which my parents were completely against at first. I finished in three years, with honors, had a slew of once-in-a-lifetime experiences while completing my degree, and I am now at one of the best professional degree programs in my field, gaining amazing experience and opening doors to further success. And most importantly, I am happy.
What matters isn’t the field: its the effort you put into it. If you put passion and drive into a plan, finding internships and degree programs and other things to advance yourself, you will stand out from the crowd of people who major in something (anything) and assume that their coursework will be enough. If your choices are deliberate, you can find a way to make it work. And my parents? They are convinced, to say the least. They are proud of where I’ve gone so far (and I’m not done yet) and truly thankful that I have found that elusive happiness. As for my sister, they regret that they pushed her towards marketing at first, since she has found more success in the few months after finishing her second (dream) degree than she had in the first decade after her “practical” major.
What will I tell my future children? You can do anything you want with your life, have any career, just be the best that you can at what you choose to do, and make smart decisions on how to make it all happen.
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I didn’t read all of the comments, but from what I did read, here’s a very different take:
Ultimately, what matters is whether this student knows what she wants to do with her life. A degree does not get one a job. In any field.
So, what can she do while she’s in college (besides just studying what she likes) to ensure she’ll be employable on graduation?
Can she work a part time job while in college that will give her some experience in her field? Maybe some internships? What connections can she make during that time?
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I found this post utterly appalling. Especially the suggestion to pay for tuition and other fees in proportion to “practical” courses!
I went to an elite liberal arts college where two-thirds of the students were on financial aid. Along with many others at my school, my education was all but free; my parents had no reason to exert financial control, since they are both musicians/artists along with the rest of my family.
I went into school planning to be an English teacher and came out planning to be a playwright. I consider the liberal arts education to be invaluable, and even if I never make much money from playwriting I know I’ll lead a fulfilling life and will be able to find other jobs in and out of my field to support myself. In addition to theater, I still have the English degree if I decide to “fall back” on it, which seems extremely unlikely.
I had many friends whose parents exerted pressure on them to complete degrees they had little or no interest in. Even though I can sort of see the parents’ perspective here, it never failed to break my heart at the time. Friends slogging through classes and entire degrees that made them frustrated, sad, and even depressed, to head toward a career that made them cringe? That’s miserable. I get that people are suggesting to find a career where what you like and what makes money cross, but diving into creative and academic inquiry is so much more rewarding when you’re not obsessed with the bottom line. There was a huge difference between the people taking pre-med courses who truly desired that career path and those who did it because it was expected, and that difference will follow them all their lives.
People who want their children only to reach for “practical” career goals are attacking the essence of a liberal arts education. I understand that there are many other valuable fields to go into and that business, engineering, and other majors not offered at my school provide viable career paths for many people. But even if school is supposed to prepare you for a career, it can also do so much more. And that’s what is being missed in these kinds of discussions.
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