Ask the Readers: How do you keep holiday tipping in check?
Published on - November 2nd, 2012 (by Ellen Cannon) This post comes from J. Whiton.
I’m preparing a holiday gift budget for family and close friends and realize I should factor in year-end gifts and bonuses to myriad people who provide services to us throughout the year. I’ve gotten the memo that “it’s the thought that counts,” but I’m not sure my newspaper delivery person has. He continues to enclose a self-addressed envelope with our paper in early December, and I’m pretty sure he is interested in receiving more than a kind note expressing our appreciation for the times he managed to avoid tossing our paper in the sprinkler.
My goal is to limit holiday gift giving to $1,500 in total. As I begin assembling this list, I can see that the amount spent in the holiday gratuity category could potentially absorb the bulk of my budget:
14 teachers (middle and high school)
8 employees
4 coaches/tutors
3 landscaping/lawn mowing workers
2 garbage/recycling workers
2 house-cleaning people
2 sitters
1 boss
1 homeowners’ association fund
1 mail carrier
1 newspaper delivery person
1 Pilates instructor
1 hairstylist
1 nail person
There is no doubt that everyone above is deserving of some sort of gift or tip, but if I follow recommendations on holiday tipping, I would spend a minimum of $1,015 on holiday cheer for my main support team.
If money was no object, I might also consider:
2 doctors
2 dentists (pediatric and adult)
1 orthodontist
1 dog groomer
If I pare down my family and friend list to the bare minimum of 15 people, I would spend on average about $32 per close relative or friend. This amounts to approximately $8 more for each of my nearest and dearest than I’d average on all the others. Something feels wrong here.
My husband and I could agree not to exchange gifts, but it’s difficult to imagine how I might spend $40 on each of my three teenagers and provide a wonderful surprise on Christmas morning. It seems clear that I need to find a way to limit spending on the “others.”
Precedents boxing you in?
This will be especially challenging where we have set precedents in the past. For example, last year we gave each teacher a box of Sees chocolates, retailing for about $20. If we send our kids with holiday cards and $5 gift certificates to Starbucks, they may notice the downgrade and who knows what might happen as a result? Similarly, we’ve left cash for our trash collectors in prior years and they have made a mark on our garbage can that I suspect allows us to occasionally leave more debris than we should. Will they be upset and insulted if we leave less cash this year than we did last year and refuse to collect our excesses when they occur? Our newspaper delivery person avoids the sprinkler about 60 percent of the time now. Maybe I should increase the tip as a scientific experiment to see if our wet/dry ratio improves in the new year?
After making my list and checking it more than twice, I decide to create some homemade goods as gifts for many on my list. The plan is to prepare caramelized walnuts in simple glass jars trimmed with holiday ribbon and personalized notes. Estimated total cost for each jar is $7, to cover container, nuts, spices, ribbon, and note.
For those who have received purchased gifts from us in the past, I’ll assemble hot-chocolate gift packages. These will include inexpensive mugs from discount retailers, a small package of hot-chocolate marshmallows, piece of biscotti and a candy cane. I’ll fill the mug with the food items and wrap in clear sturdy cellophane, tied with holiday ribbon. Estimated cost for each mug gift: $10. For select recipients, a $5 coffee gift card will be added to the mug.
This is what my budget for service providers now looks like:
| Service provider | Qty | Amt | Total | Gift |
| teachers | 14 | $10 | $140 | Hot-chocolate mugs and notes from kids |
| employees | 8 | $7 | $56 | Nuts and thank-you notes |
| coaches/tutors | 4 | $5 | $20 | Starbucks gift cards and thanks from kids |
| landscaping/lawn | 3 | $0 | $0 | Tip $15 each in spring |
| garbage/recycling | 2 | $15 | $30 | Cash, as before |
| house cleaners | 2 | $90 | $180 | Cash plus hot-chocolate mug gifts |
| sitters | 2 | $15 | $30 | Cash and thank-you notes from kids |
| boss | 1 | $15 | $15 | Hot-chocolate mug and $5 Starbucks certificate |
| homeowners assn | 1 | $25 | $25 | Down from $50 last year |
| 1 | $15 | $15 | Cash, as before | |
| newspaper | 1 | $20 | $20 | Cash, increased from $15 last year |
| Pilates | 1 | $7 | $7 | Nuts and thank-you notes |
| hair | 1 | $7 | $7 | Nuts and thank-you notes |
| nail | 1 | $7 | $7 | Nuts and thank-you notes |
| Total | 42 | $552 |
I’m so excited about saving $463 from the initial estimate that I plan to create ornaments for health care providers with photos of the kids and sincere thank-you notes. I’ll also tip the dog groomer $15. These gifts should total no more than $60, capping my spending on “all the others” at $612. My remaining budget for closest family and friends has nearly doubled from $485 to $888 with these adjustments.
Do you have ideas for bringing down holiday gratuity spending any further?
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wow, that’s a lot of money! i’m a single person in the uk in a rented flat and i won’t be tipping anyone! this is partially to do with my situation and also i’m sure holiday tipping is just not a thing here.
i’m sure people appreciate the gesture but i shouldn’t imagine most will remember the dollar amount for each client in a years time.
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I’m married in the US but we don’t tip either! We also doing give a bunch of useless gifts to people (or receive them). If we exchange anything, it is a card and/or a homemade item. There are much better things to do with our money and time than pretend to celebrate Jesus’s birthday by embracing capitalism and materialism!!
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don’t* give
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Maybe I am rude, but I wouldn’t tip 3/4 of the people on your list. Why tip the HOA? To me, it becomes a problem when we tip everyone just because it’s the holidays. Where does the line get drawn? Should I tip my mechanic for changing my oil? Do you tip your readers?
I’m not trying to be mean, there are people that I tip, I just think this list is a little excessive. But to each their own.
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I tip the property manager employed by our HOA. In addition to doing her job, she goes out of her way to email residents whenever there is a problem (with an estimate of when the problem will be solved), reminds folks of hurricane preparation needed, etc. I’ve never lived in a community that had such an attentive manager, and I appreciate her extra effort.
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Emailing people when there is a problem? Sounds like that would be part of her regular job, which I assume she already gets paid for.
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That’s doing her job, though. I get that you want to recognize that but if HOAs employ a property manager, that property manager should have been doing stuff like that all along.
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Your HOA dues include payment to the property manager to do that work. I am on the board of my HOA and couldn’t figure out why in the world you would tip them until you explained the property manager. We have a manager as well and pay them over $1000 per month to do their job.
What state are you in?
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A state of madness, apparently.
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WOW! I think your list is outrageous. The easiest way to cut it down is to cut people out of it.
*Hair and nail people get tipped each time,so why are you tipping them at the holidays?
*Once the kids are in middle and high school, I brought bakery trays to school during teacher appreciation week.
*Exactly why are you tipping a homeowners association? Who even gets that money?
*I can’t relate to house cleaners or lawn care because we do it ourselves.
The only people on your list that I tip/gift at the holidays are:
Paper guy (for delivering in the worst of weather)
Boss (to suck up and hedge my husband’s job security)
Sitters (for taking awesome care of my most precious priorities in life)
I think a simple heartfelt thank you suffices much more than an obligatory “gift”. I love gift giving as much as the next person but not at the expense of my family’s financial health. If you have money than be as generous as you want.
As a side note- because you didn’t ask- your children would most likely be happy with a $40 gift, if it were the right gift. I have found the monetary value isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
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Completely agree – aside from chipping in for the boss’ christmas gift, there is no one else on that list that I would think it’s reasonable to tip. These people are just doing their jobs, and unless your hairstylist is doing your hair on Christmas day, what are you tipping her extra for?
Do you really think teachers gather together and say, “Little Jimmy only gave you a card this year? I got a big box of chocolates last year from him!” Teachers are absolutely not that petty, and speaking as the child of a teacher gifts other than cards ended up being dust catchers that were recycled/regifted by the time Christmas actually came around. A card with a nice sentiment that the KID picks out is probably a much more meaningful expression of the holidays than anything else.
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I am one of the ones who thought the list was too long, but I don’t think tipping the boss only is the way to go. Why on earth would you tip your boss? Hoping for favoritism? I have always understood that this is really poor form. You give down the ladder or to your peers, but not up. Similarly, I have no problem with tipping regular service providers who don’t make a ton of money (like the woman who cuts my hair) extra at the holidays. I know I make more than she does, why on earth shouldn’t I be more generous once a year to show her how much I appreciate her excellent work?
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For us, it’s not really *tipping* the boss. We’re a smallish office of about 12, and he takes us all out to a really nice luncheon at the holidays (for me it’s the most expensive meal I eat all year) and gives each of us a lovely gift box of goodies. Then we all chip in a small amount ($5-$15 max) and get him something that’s a big meaningful to him. There’s actually a lot of thought involved going both ways, though the amounts differ.
In a way, our office is kindof like a family environment, and since we don’t fault kids for pooling resources to get something meaningful for mom or dad at the holidays, why shouldn’t we pool together to buy the boss something decent once a year?
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As a teacher, I’d rather have $5 at Starbucks than hot chocolate and a mug, or even a few chocolate chip cookies in a bag that the kids decorate! But then, I don’t like hot chocolate so maybe I’m the odd one out.
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I know several teachers that don’t drink coffee either so I’ve learned don’t assume anything about people’s beverages of choice.
We’ve had some success combing the after-Christmas clearance for the packs of non-occasion blank note cards/envelopes that usually retail for a buck or two at the craft stores (even at full price they’re a good bargain). We stockpile these and use them as teacher/coach gifts throughout the year as just about everyone can use some cute blank cards.
Generally speaking, we focus on consumable items so the recipient isn’t stuck dealing with what to do with something they don’t need, like a mug.
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Well, I’m odd too because I can’t stand coffee. Neither can my husband. My sons don’t drink it either. The Starbucks cards I get from my students I regift to friends who like coffee, particularly the Starbucks kind.
I also don’t eat cake, cookies or other sweets. I’d love to, but I can’t for health reasons. Getting tons of chocolates or cookies at Christmas time is just extra torture, but my husband and sons appreciate the goodies.
I’ve seen a lot of comments to this post that recommend a Starbucks gift card to teachers. Make sure your child’s teacher drinks coffee before gifting this.
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You’re missing out on the Starbucks! They have great hot chocolate, and even seasonal varieties.
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I don’t get this. Starbucks also sells tea, juices, smoothies, breakfast foods, pastries, music CDs, small appliances, candy…
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Do you drink tea? Juice? Eat sandwiches or bagels or fruit? Starbucks has a lot of stuff these days. But still, it seems like you get a benefit out of them even by not using them, you get to pass them on. I think Starbucks gift cards or the like are a nice tip.
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But this is really the whole point. They seem nice to you, which is great, but not to everybody. If you really want to give a personal gift, you need to know what that person’s preferences are.
And I don’t drink hot chocolate and I’m on a low carb diet for health reasons–so no bagels, muffins, oatmeal, etc.
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We donate money to charity in the teacher’s name and then include a note in a card for the teachers explaining what we did. (Some charities send the card for us — it depends.)
I’ve found this to be something the teachers really appreciate. I try to find charities that are meaningful to them.
Because you are right — they don’t need another mug.
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Stupid thing to do. “OH, I ‘m donating to charity and get to claim the tax deduction, but it’s in your name.”
Teachers need cash or how about TARGET gift card? Starbucks is overrated.
Donating money to charity is a persona choice for individuals. You shouldn’t foist this choice on others and call it a “gift.”
Presumptuous and Pretentious!
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I am a teacher and I can tell you that as much as I appreciate all of the homemade treats the kids bring me, I am sometimes nervous about eating them. (You can only understand this and not be offended by such a comment if you are a teacher, I think.) That said, the most touching gift I ever received from a student was a simple Christmas card that read,”Thank you for all of the things you do for me and how much you love me.” I might be a sap, but I have that card five years later. If you feel your child’s teacher is doing a good job, tell them. Have your child tell them. Be specific. Be sincere. Teaching is often a thankless job and I can’t tell you how much those kind of notes encourage me.
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Agreed! As a former teacher I immediately thought… they don’t want a mug. A $5 starbucks or target card is appropriate and generous. A heartfelt note of thanks is also more than enough. Since your kids are older, one from you and one from them would be even better. Some parents give generously, and we do appreciate it. But it’s not expected and has no impact on our treatment towards your child or family.
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As a teacher, I can’t accept gifts with a value greater than $20.
Further, I don’t expect a gift.
A thank you (even 5-7 years later, which is typical) is more than enough.
Actually, being there when a student has an “aha” moment is the best thing about my job.
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Totally agree….the last thing my husband ever wants is ANOTHER mug from a student at Christmas. They go straight to the Goodwill basket. Also agree about the homemade goodies…the state of hygiene of some students puts the state of cleanliness in many homes in question!
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I’m glad some of the readers who are teachers picked up on this. Think of it this way, you are talking 14 teachers so I’ll guess 2 kids x 7 periods in the day. That means each of those teachers has 6 periods of class (plus lunch) x 30 students. If each student is giving every teacher something, a mug,candy, whatever, thats 180 gifts. What is anyone supposed to do with some combination of 180 mugs or boxes of candy or plates of whatever baked goods.
For teachers, a card from the student, will mean much more (and not force them to find 180 people to regift things to). If you really feel the need, throw a gift card in with it (to someplace generic like target unless you know for a fact they like somewhere like starbucks), but really the card is enough.
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I agree, you don’t have to tip everyone. 14 teachers? Not necessary. If you need to do something, make a batch of treats and deliver them to the teacher’s lounge or donate a library book to the school or make a food pantry donation in honor of the teachers. Believe me, the teachers do not need yet another mug.
And why on earth tip the HOA? That makes no sense to me.
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As a former teacher in the schools, I can say that your thought is lovely but completely unnecessary. I would never care if a child gave me a gift or not. Kind words and a card would be great. What if everyone gave me a mug – what would I do with 30 mugs!
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My husband is a teacher and while he appreciates the gifts his students give him, he has never in any way kept track of who gave what (or not). What is most meaningful to him is a note saying thank you.
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A friend of mine received 30+ boxes of chocolates one year. Craziness!
What she really loves is notes from students and visits from former students who are home from college/university for the holiday break. Her face lights up when she talks about them.
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I was going to mention that tipping teachers is bizarre. If there is a certain teacher(s) who are special to your kids, a hand written note and maybe some kind of treat (like homemade fudge or cookies) made by that kid would mean a lot to the teacher.
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How about a gift card to Staples or someplace like that where a teacher could buy supplies that always seem to be missing in schools.
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Absolutely. Teachers really don’t want gifts. If you want to gift them make it a card or supplies for the classroom.
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Yes, and get your doctor a gift card to medical supply company so he can buy medical supplies for his office. He’d be ecstatic.
I give my kids’ teachers gift cards to TARGET. Buying the teacher an office supply card so she can go out in the cold, use her own gas and time to buy more supplies for the classroom that YOU the taxpayer should be providing is insulting.
Sure. It’s the thought that counts, but I consider that pretty thoughtless and a backhanded way of not giving her anything meaningful at all – except an indirect “gift” right back to your own child. Stupid.
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In my opinion, this approach to holiday tipping is really out of control. I wouldn’t tip a newspaper carrier at all who hits the sprinkler 40% of the time. The postal carrier isn’t supposed to accept gifts of monetary value. As far as hair, nail, etc., I’d give them a little higher tip than usual if I saw them in December. And as a teacher, the best gift to me is always a personal thank-you note, rather than food I’m allergic to, gift cards to places I don’t go, or trinkets that clutter my house.
You need to figure out what the holidays really mean to you, and live it. Is it really a time you want to spend stressed out about giving gifts to people who you think expect them?
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Love this comment! I think holiday tipping has gotten out of control when someone wonders if their kids will be treated differently at school because they didn’t fork out the cash for an expensive box of chocolates. Really, is this what the holidays are about?
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Completely agree. I don’t get a tip for doing my job. Most people do not get tipped for doing their job. Continuing to expand the jobs that seem to expect a tip just adds to the continued escalation of the money wars similar to birthday parties. Those jobs where the worker actually gets a lower base salary based on the expectation that they are going to receive tips (like a server in a restaurant) is one thing, but many of these other positions are different.
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I work in law enforcement. We consider it a good holiday if no one gets punched, spit at or run over. Guess tipping eludes me.
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Amen! My mom’s a teacher and the amount of junk she brings home each Christmas is ridiculous. And then she gets all of this junk food that she doesn’t really want to eat, but she feels bad throwing it out. If you want to give your teacher something useful, I’d say a $5-10 gift card to some place like Starbucks, Staples, or a bookstore is perfect.
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This! I’m a primary teacher, and I still have a box of Stuff from last Christmas and June languishing in my storage – including some (probably well past their expiration date) chocolates that would have been lovely… but I don’t eat chocolate, and I got so much that I couldn’t even give it all away! The mugs go to the staff room, perfume gets given away… Although I did use the Sbux gift cards!
The best present I got was a thoughtfully chosen used book for the class library that the student herself had picked from her bookshelves because it was her favourite, inscribed with a short note dedicating it to this year’s class.
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I’m with you on everything except I always buy my mail carrier a little something. She does a service for me 6 days a week, and she has to deliver many packages directly to my door, well off our street. If I recall, they can accept up to $20 in goods and services, but not cash.
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I agree w/ that comment.
Last year due to my labor contract holiday observation bylaws I had to work my regular Sunday shift on Christmas and observe the day off on Monday.
(last year Federally the Christmas day off was on Monday the 26th)
I knew there would be one cafe open near my work on December 25th, though. That morning I gave the barista a $10.00 tip on 1 drink. I’m a regular latte drinker and tip actual hand craft shots and hand steamed milk baristas a dollar a drink.
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Comments 1-4 expressed my opinion nicely. To me this is far and away overkill in tipping and speaks more to how you want to be viewed and perceived than whether these folks have gone above and beyond their jobs.
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I agree, I wouldn’t tip most of those people either. 14 teachers! I would try to bake something or bring a jar of homemade jam maybe and keep the tip list down to employees, cleaners, garbage and mailman.
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I’m sorry, but your list is absolutely out of control. In addition, many many people are allergic to nuts.
Teachers- a thank you note and some mass baked goods. Maybe $10 total
Postal worker- not supposed to receive tips
Hair/nail/groomer – if you see them in December then tip extra
Pilates???? Seriously? For what ? Don’t you already pay them?
Why on earth would you tip your HOA? You already pay them dues for doing very little.
The boss is about the only one on the list and he likely deserves a more thoughtful gift to ensure job security.
In my opinion, this is just a perfect example of how tipping has gotten out of control.
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Wow… That’s quite a list! My thinking is that if people can afford these services throughout the year, they can afford the tips at Christmas. I guess I have it easy though because I don’t use most of these services!
For religious reasons, my current office doesn’t do anything for Christmas, but in previous offices we’ve done charity drives or secret Santa exchanges (optional, of course) instead of gift exchanges or tipping. That might be an option. Why not do something for someone who needs it rather than buying token gifts like nuts that no one really needs?
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As a Canadian I am continually amazed at the lengths Americans go to with gift giving. I have never bought a teacher gift or tipped anyone anything extra at holidays. I live in the country and newspapers are delivered by being thrown out of a van by some unknown person who never gives us an envelope. To me tips or gifts should be given when you feel someone has really outdone themselves, other wise you are bribing these people to continue to just do their jobs that they would do anyway. I think it would be fun to give the garbage guys a warm drink on a cold day when they weren’t expecting it or to send cookies to school when you’ve made too many. Thoughtful gestures throughout the year are more meaningful then the onslaught of holiday gifts arriving at one time. We limit holiday gifts to immediate family, mostly children.
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Pamela –
“Thoughtful gestures throughout the year are more meaningful then the onslaught of holiday gifts arriving at one time.”
Definitely true!!
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Also in Canada, and yeah, the only thing I’ve witnessed is maybe giving the kid’s teacher a homemade gift if you really life them, or a card, or, gasp, nothing.
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Another Canuck agrees! I was totally flabbergasted by this list of what seems like bribery in many of the examples! My ex-husband was a teacher; he got a few nice, heartwarming cards and the occasional knick-knack, but that was about it. I send cards to my doctors and dentist, and if I have an appointment near Christmas I take in a plate of cookies when I go. That’s about it! Talk about Christmas excess!
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Don’t lump all of us Americans in the same pot! This approach to tipping/gifting is entirely foreign to this life-long American too.
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Another American here. I’ve never seen anyone I know in the US tip to the lengths that these lists do. This is foreign idea to me too and I’m qutie sure this is not the ‘norm’ in the US.
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I’m an American and I have to say, when I first started reading this article my first thought was “Wait…… Christmas…Tipping?” (Imagine those words in a long, drawn-out thought with a dumbfounded expression.)
I think there is a blurred line for Christmas “tips” and Christmas “bonuses”. I’ve received a Christmas bonus from jobs like housekeeping and babysitting (when it was a regular, 1 – 5 times per week job), and I would think of Christmas “tipping” the same way.
If it’s an employee of yours, even/especially under the table, I think it’s really nice to give a little something extra for the holidays. I think that it’s also a nice time of year to be a little generous with your regular tipping– i.e., when you go out to lunch or get your hair done.
But I would never consider the garbage man, my hairdresser, my kids teachers, etc to be my employees.
I also have to say, Canadian friends– If I were you, I totally would be making fun of Americans (and all their grand excesses) in these comments, too
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My mom owns a very small housecleaning business – herself and a handful of clients – and she’s always really appreciated that some of her clients go out of the way to give her a holiday bonus. Sure she gets paid every week, but she works her butt (and knees!) off for these people, cleaning up their messes every week, and it’s really sweet that they appreciate it enough to give a little extra.
Many ‘regular’ jobs give a holiday bonus, this really isn’t that different.
I do understand the arguments for many of the others on the list though.
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IIRC the average Canadian plans to spend about $650 on Christmas gifts this year. That number generally doesn’t include tips.
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I’m in agreement with the above commenters here. Tipping in general and in the holidays has gotten way out of hand. Most of these people make a living wage and I just generally don’t understand why so many people expect society at large to subsidize their living. Yes your garbage men (and many others on your list) provide you a service – which you pay for with your taxes, and they are compensated for in their paycheques. Why should each household be expected to give them an extra kick just because its the holidays??
Teachers and coaches I’d give a heartfelt card with a real expression of appreciation. As for the rest, unless they’re your personal employees or you’d regularly tip them through the rest of the year I just can’t get behind holiday tipping.
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When I read the title of this post, I thought, “I don’t. I don’t keep holiday tipping in check.” We should be kind and giving, not stingy. Ever. But then again, some of the people you have listed aren’t the types that I would even consider giving a gift to. They’re doing their job. I do’nt expect to get tipped from someone’s house I roof in December, because I’m doing my job. *shrug* So maybe I don’t have the problem you do because it seems silly to me to tip some of the people on your list. Teachers? Pilates instructor? Dog groomer? Crazy.
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You could save a lot more money for next christmas if you did your own lawn care and house cleaning.
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Not Necessarily. You are making a BIG assumption. This person indicates that they have 8 employees, which might mean that they own a business or perhaps he/she is a high earning professional like an attorney. It might be more cost effective for them to put that time into their business rather than mow the lawn.
Our attorney makes $300/hour. That will pay for a lot of lawn mowing and housecleaning.
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Not everyone can do that work. I get a sinus infection every time I mow the lawn, and some people have disabilities.
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I agree with everyone else. I’m trying to not sound mean, but WOW! You are sounding like you are insecure and that you need to buy protection from the garbage haulers and bribe your children’s teachers for what???
If, for whatever reason, you feel it necessary to treat these people to something extra, a nice note or some handmade gift would mean much more than a payoff, even in this economy.
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Wow that is quite a list. I’m with others, most of the people on that list wouldn’t be on my holiday tipping list. My list is pretty short. I tip my hairstylist and my dog walker and that is it.
My hairstylist has been doing my hair for 10 years now, she provides great personal service, she lives near me and I can swing by her house once in a while for an emergency trim. I tip her $100.
My dog walk is my neighbor’s daughter, I tip her $20-$30 at the holidays.
For me holiday tipping is about rewarding people who provide me with personal service. I don’t consider the garbage man, who is paid via my property taxes to be someone who provides me with personal service.
As for work, I gift my boss as we have a personal relationship and I gift my assistant.
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Mail carriers, at least USPS, can’t accept cash tips.
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I was shocked at this list. I’ve never tipped at Christmas–hell, we’re doing good to make sure that we purchase a little something for our immediate family. Why don’t you take that money and donate to Toys for Tots….I guarantee that will make more of a difference than tipping your homeowner’s association (who DOES that?!).
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Utterly ridiculous list. I can’t believe this passes for personal finance advice.
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Agreed but it certainly has generated interesting discussion!
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Who said anything about this post being personal finance advice? Last time I checked, the author was asking a question.
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Having worked as a teacher, please no mugs or food, unless it something specific to my taste. I end up donating these items, because I just get too many for me to keep. A letter from your child is wonderful. If you feel the need for a gift, I would prefer a book for the classroom. I’ve even enjoyed when parent’s find out where I get my coffee and do a gift card to there. Asking about preferences isn’t rude or intrusive, but appreciated.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but the clutter gets out of control. And I feel bad that these families waste their money on gifts I can’t use.
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If you are friendly with other parents, what about going in together on a small gift? I imagine the teachers and coaches would rather have one $20 Starbucks gift card than a handful of $5 ones cluttering their wallets. Or one mug rather than a dozen. You and the other parents can save a bit of time and money and the teacher/coach gets a more streamlined gift.
For the employees and boss, maybe you could bring breakfast or lunch in to work one day.
I wouldn’t tip the newspaper delivery guy just because I think including a SASE with your paper is pretty nervy. But I’m a grouch like that!
I want to tip our garbage collectors this year but I don’t understand how you leave the tip. I can’t attach it to the trash can as it’s guaranteed someone else will take it. Do you stay home that day and watch for them so you can hand it to them in person?
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I’ve often wondered that myself. I don’t even know when my garbage men(?) come. I do know it’s before 6:15 am sometime.
Same thing for the post office. I don’t know when they come. I guess I could just leave cookies in the mailbox with a note or something.
Of course, I didn’t even know until a few years ago I was *supposed* to tip the hair dresser. My folks never did–but it was a rural community and they usually owned their shop.
I have to say, I get tipping waitstaff. No one else really makes sense to me. I often do it, but don’t know if it’s right or not.
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I left cookies and a note once for the mail person and they never took them.
It made me realize that I might not want a homemade gift from someone I had never met. I would suggest something wrapped, not homemade, as lovely as that may be!
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Instead of mugs, why not offer to purchase some school supplies? I have a lot of friends who are school teachers bemoaning how much they put out of pocket to stock their classrooms. I bet offering some kleenex for the classroom in December is more appreciated than hot chocolate. Perhaps those teachers you have a special rapport with can guide you on what everyone at their school might appreciate.
I’d also look at your gifts to your employees as an investment in their productivity and workplace morale. I’d make sure that whatever you would do for them will be well received.
I don’t do much holiday tipping, and I keep it in check by not partaking in as many services as you, but if I did, I don’t think I would tip people I didn’t have a personal relationship with. I can understand tipping your hair person, your sitters, and other services where you see the person face-to-face frequently. But I don’t ever see or talk to my trashmen, and I know we have at least 3 different mail people. So that’s how I would draw the line.
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My best friend is a teacher. She noted that when the economy went south, she got a LOT less holiday gifts from her students. (she didn’t say this in a whiney manner – just was an observation). My friend tends to spend a lot of her own money on books and supplies to use in her classroom, so I know that she especially appreciates gift cards to bookstores and such. She also really appreciates notes from students telling her that she’s made an impact.
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My husband’s a teacher and feels exactly the same way — he’d rather get gift cards to Staples to buy school supplies than trinkets, if someone feels they must give a present.
But what means the most to him? Students and/or parents writing cards about how he’s impacted them. He loves it when kids come back to visit, too — he gets a lot of kids coming by on their holiday break from college stopping in to say hi (and thank you).
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As a special ed teacher, I never get gifts but I still have up a note by a student telling me I changed their life. I got it 15 years ago.
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Wow, I am feeling extremely cheap after reading this.
I tip my daycare lady the equivolent of 2 weeks pay. Everyone else gets a verbal holiday greeting or a Christmas card. =)
I think that it’s nice that you tip all of these people and I’m sure that they appreciate it though!
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I have to say this post left me aghast. Is it really considered necessary to give Christmas gifts/gratuities to all these people? Especially the ones you already pay for their services?! The teachers make sense to me, though.
The only person outside of my family that will get a gift from us at Christmas is probably my boss, and that’s mostly because he’s been very very good to me over the last year (I had my first child in June and he was super flexible with everything). But then, we don’t have housecleaners or landscapers, we don’t take the paper, our baby is too young to have teachers or coaches, and our babysitters are all family.
I had never heard of it being customary to spend so much money on service providers at Christmas. Am I just out of the loop on this social grace?
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Sounds like extorsion!
I’ll put a link to my paypal on my next article, readers who don’t tip will get misinformation and nasty comments.
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Waiting….and waiting…on that next Nerdo article. Go ahead and attach said paypal account. I WILL PAY! BEILIEVE ME, I WILL PAY.
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Ha Ha! I would probably pay for an El Nerdo article too! Eagerly anticipating the next one…
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I was replying to this and my comment got marked as spam. So much karma to work off, haa haa haaa.
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Dude…you and a couple others are the only glue holding what’s left of this site together. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT!
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Does that mean I can ask my boss for a year-end bonus?
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HELL YES! And you better. Go to my comment at 89.
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I would not be just a nuffin’
My head all full of stuffin’
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
IF I ONLY HAD TEH CASH…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs
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I second KSR, Nerdo. You’re possbily the last beacon of hope. (Just please don’t go buying no more $1000 iPhones for Christmas.)
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Ha ha, Edward, okay.
But… since you bring it up, I figure I’d give an update– ended up returning the pricey case on the phone (it sucked, was useless, so that’s an $80 credit to my balance) but the phone itself has solved a lot of problems for me. And it was totally worth it paying the cost of the phone upfront so I don’t need to have a contract.
Right now I’m working on simplifying my life so I can work better– and the one thing I don’t have to worry about at all is this here phone, or how to pay for it in the next 2 years. It’s a great tool for me, and not having a contract on it is a huge relief. At least trust me on that, it’s made my life TONS better.
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Many of the teachers I know end up with tons of stuff they don’t know what to do with at Christmas. Not that you can’t express appreciation, but for most teachers I think it IS the thought that counts. $5 Starbucks cards really aren’t bad (in part because they often get lots of them, so hey – free Starbucks for a while!). Also… do you think all 14 really expect gifts? I would think only a handful of the ones your kid(s) are closest to.
Also – I noticed you have employees. I don’t know what they do for you, but if they’re your employees aren’t things for them part of business operating costs (i.e. holiday gifts/bonuses)?
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I also won’t tip 90 % of these people… and as far as “a heartfelt card” for the teachers-
Your kids should be writing those, not you.
While they are educating your kids, your kids are the ones mostly benfiting and it teaches kids some responsibility and respect for others to spent time thanking people.
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Coming from a family of teachers, I cannot stress this enough… DO NOT send hot chocolate mugs. Think about it for a minute, if half the students in your children’s classes did that, each teacher would end up with 12-15 mugs. What would you do with that many mugs EACH YEAR???
If you want to reward teachers, especially in the middle school or high school grades, send a plate of baked goods and a short thank you note to the teachers lounge AFTER the holidays.
If you want to reward an individual teacher, a gift card and a personal note from you and the student are the way to go. Those notes are the things that warm a teachers heart.
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Bunch of Scrooges up above, sheesh! I think you might be going overboard with the teachers, pilates instructor, and HOA. Having said that, Emily Post will side with you on all the other people on that list. They’re service-providers, and tipping them is such a kind gesture during the holiday season. If you can afford it, this looks like a terrific idea in lieu of a cash tip (which seems so impersonal at times).
Maybe you need to divide this list into two different groups of people, though: “Holiday tip” people and “Holiday gift” people. Some of these folks should receive a *gift*, not a *tip*. A tip should be cash. A gift should be personal. I holiday-tip the mail carrier, paper delivery person, barber, my building’s front desk staff, and my “regular” bartender. Anyone else would probably receive a gift.
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Too much. It sounds ridiculous. We don’t have this culture in my country. The holidays is for family and friends, and you give gifts to family, cards etc. I don’t know what holidays mean to most Americans but it seems that it’s about Stuff. too much Stuff.
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I have to agree with a lot of the other commentors. Honestly I wouldn’t tip any of those people (except employees… if I had any).
1. Gift giving is personal and should be given out of heartfelt desire, not a sense of obligation or fear (that’s extortion). I give to people because they mean something to me, not because I just come into contact with them on a regular basis.
2.Most of those people’s pay doesn’t depend on tips and those that do already get regular tips.
3.Considering that there is a huge recession happening in many parts of the world I don’t think people will judge you for not giving as much as last year.
When I was a paper boy I sometimes got tipped during the holidays. It was out of the norm and I appreciated it, but I never judged anyone for not tipping me and I didn’t treat anyone better because of it either.
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Am I the only one who feels it’s weird to tip your boss. This is so obviously sucking up. You tip for a service, you give gifts for personal relationships, your boss is neither. Maybe a joint gift from all employees, but even that is weird for me.
As for the rest, agree it’s excessive. I tip my assistant, babysitter and cleaner (the latter two can really use a nice tip) and I give baked goods tray to the preschool teachers. There is usually some group gift for the teachers that the PTA organizes.
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That struck me as odd as well. However, my workplace specifically prohibits giving gifts to supervisors, so it wouldn’t be an option for me even if I wanted to go down that route.
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I totally agree! Tipping your boss feels like a conflict of interest close to bribing. I work at a start-up company that’s been sailing some rough waters the last six months and “the company” decided to give our CEO a present (a $250 Northface jacket custom embroidered with our company logo, not a cheap gift for our small company of 12) for all her hard fundraising work (um, hello?! This is her company! If she doesn’t do the fundraising then HER company tanks! Of course she’s going to work hard). I felt hugely uncomfortable with this. I think leadership in any form should come from the top down, not from the bottom up. Also, my boss is the CEO’s brother and he was the one organizing the gift giving. I think that its appropriate to give your employees a gift. But I don’t think I would for your boss.
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Honestly, my first thought is this is one of those deliberately provoking posts in order to raise the comment numbers.
My second thought was that the op was perhaps combining “tips” with “gifts”. tips are, afterall, cash.
My third thought was that in many companies and corporations its considered inappropriate for a boss to take money from employees. certainly most government related jobs at any level.
And my final thought was…..does the writer really, seriously believe that a teacher (or worker) has the time, energy, memory and ability to remember what they got from every student, coachee, tutee last year? I have to write down what I give to relatives, already!
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Maybe it varies by industry, locale, etc. I have never once given a tip or gift to a boss. If they aren’t satisfied with my work, no number of mugs is going to change that.
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I agree! I was taught you never “gift up”. It is odd to give a gift to someone who pays you. Unless it is something small and thoughtful.
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Both the fact that you use this many services and are even considering tipping them nearly this much is disturbing. For a website that encourages frugality and careful living, this seems like a joke. If it were April 1st, I’d applaud you. This just makes me want to unsubscribe.
Ugh!
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I disagree. To be frugal is to understand the value of your time as well as your money. Paying for a lawn guy, paying for cleaning ladies is can easily be a recognition that your time is more valuable the money paid for these services. I assume she is a business owner as she lists employees and speaks of her husband having a job, and it is not a stretch to assume that as such the cost of maintaining her appearance with Pilates, manicures and a hair stylist is important for that profession. You can quibble if you wish with a sexist society requiring a different standard of professional maintenance for women than men, but as it is the cost benefit analysis of those activities may well be in her favor. As to the frugality of tipping for her “extravagances” I would remind you that frugality is not synonymous with miserliness.
I can only think of a few business reasons to get a copy of the newspaper though, and those are a stretch.
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I agree with this. Someone who can support 8 employees is likely much better off running a business than mowing their own lawn.
And I’m not against tipping or giving holiday gifts or whatever– only against the notion that it should be prescribed by some authority or carried out under duress.
What seems like a waste is newspaper delivery though. I haven’t read a paper-paper in like a decade.
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I am all for someone hiring out tasks – if you can afford it. The OP apparently cannot afford it, if tipping everyone in sight has become such a burden. Also it’s not clear that the OP values his or her time very high, since the “solution” to the problem was to make a ton of homemade gifts.
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As yes, but some of us still prefer real paper. I dont read on the inernet at all, ever. I read real papers, real books and yes, real magazines. I also dont stream through a pc screen only through a television.
Dinosaur, yes, I know!
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I didn’t realize this site was providing frugality advice for only the rich and privileged…
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No, this sight does a very good job of speaking to the different people at different places along the road to wealth. I found this question interesting. Can we ask some basic questions about the asker without judging her as a spendthrift idiot?
For instance – does her business depend on income from tips? or is she from the US, or did she grow up in a different culture? Both of these might shed light on the mindset that she has in tipping. If her own business depends on tipping, she may see all of her service providers through the same filter – that they depend on those tips. If she is originally from a different country, it is possible that her home culture has a very different view of tipping that the typical American. My sister worked in central Africa for a while, and it seemed like you were expected to tip everyone (from the baggage handler to the police officers), or suffer the consequences. She saw this as bribery and rampant corruption, but recognized that it was the way that economy worked (or rather didn’t work. The last time she went back she was pleasantly surprised to find the government had made a pointed effort to change the tipping culture). From her expectations of what might happen if she doesn’t tip, I wonder if she is from a culture like that. I have never tipped our garbage collector. I had no idea that was even a thing until last year. I don’t fear reprisals. I wonder what her history is that she seems to expect that from teachers and postal workers alike.
If nothing else, this is an example of one point in frugality – question your assumptions.
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Yup, I started to wonder if this was a joke post and I was scanning the article for a ‘just kidding’.
I mean, someone is talking about tipping their Doctor and Orthodontist? I’m all for acknowledging great service, but I would imagine writing a note of thanks and recommending them to family/friends is the better and more appropriate action.
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I think a lot of people are missing the fact that this is an Ask the Readers post. The guest writer isn’t saying that everyone should do what she does. She’s just throwing it out there for discussion.
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Most people hate getting cheap gifts trinkets (mugs, pictures frames, etc.) as holiday “tips”. If you are tipping someone for the work they do for a living tip them in cash. They can’t pay bills with mugs and cookies.
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This list is waaaay too long. And like Harry said, if you want to give these people something they appreciate, give cash! They have lots of extra expenses during the holidays too. And how many of us have been told by our doctors to lay off the sweets?
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That kind of spending is ridiculous and certainly won’t help anybody get rich slowly. I think this’ll be the last post I read on this blog.
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I must echo others’ comments that many of these people do not need to be/should not be tipped. As a teacher, I never expect gifts from my students. Some school systems outright ban it because it is like a bribe.
More importantly though:
This post seems way out of alignment with what I am used to seeing on Get Rich Slowly. I thought this site encouraged sound financial choices and warned against lifestyle inflation. Two house cleaners!? Lawn crew? Multiple private tutors!? This sound like life style inflation run amok.
I fail to feel sympathy for someone who has this much hired help.
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I agree.. I used to be able to relate to the articles written here.
I don’t have a personal cook, a pilates trainer or a butler… I’m sorry I’m poor and can’t afford to holiday tip and can’t relate to the author.
This might be the last GRS article I read. Unsubscribing.
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I’m overcommenting today. Can’t seem to help myself. Too little sleep? Anyhow, re: the two housecleaners, I wonder if she uses a service like Merry Maids or something that sends in a crew of two to clean her house once a week or so? I haven’t used a service like that (have dreamed of it), so I don’t know for sure, but that’s how I imagine it works.
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Also, as an FYI, business etiquette dictates that while it’s fine for bosses/employers to give employees gifts, it is not OK in reverse – i.e., you shouldn’t give gifts to people above you in the managerial hierarchy because it looks like you’re trying to win favor. A thoughtful note is fine, and maybe some baked goods, but nothing of monetary value (one exception might be flowers in the case of bereavement). Check out Emily Post or any business etiquette blog for more info. Here’s one link: http://www.emilypost.com/on-the-job/workplace-relationships/220-the-workplace-and-the-holidays-faqs-
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I must echo others’ comments that many of these people do not need to be/should not be tipped. As a teacher, I never expect gifts from my students. Some school systems outright ban it because it is like a bribe. Me-thinks you may send your kids to a fancy private school if these kinds of gifts are expected. Which brings me to point 2:
This post seems way out of alignment with what I am used to seeing on Get Rich Slowly. I thought this site encouraged sound financial choices and warned against lifestyle inflation. Two house cleaners!? Lawn crew? Multiple private tutors!? This sound like life style inflation run amok.
I fail to feel sympathy for someone who has this much hired help.
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I could NOT relate to this article at all. It is so far out there in my opinion. This is a huge list and bottom line huge total for any reasonable person. I agree w/alot of the comments above. Alot of these professions you are tipping when the service is provided. Whatever happened to a sincere ‘thank you’ spoken from the heart. I think people are taught that money is everything even when saying thanks. And take the HMO, yes I bet the lady does alot of what you consider extra, but she is also bringing in customers/homeowners for that area. Nothing you are receiving from these people are you receiving free from the kindness of their hearts – they get compensated just like any profession. I would agree on teachers that they put in so much extra, but really with all the students they have, the mugs/candy are insignificant in my opinion. A student, regardless of their age, coming up to them sincerely saying thank you to them shows them their hard work paid off in much more important way!
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I don’t employ the services of most of these people, and I wouldn’t tip the rest. Especially not my mail carrier! I live in a two family house, and somehow half my mail ends up in my downstairs neighbors’ box…
About the most I will do for Christmas, besides buying gifts for family, is bringing treats in for coworkers.
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I’m a big believer in generosity, but this list is out of control. Here are my thoughts:
– If you normally tip a service person (like a hairstylist), give a little extra.
– Always tip a babysitter, since they do an extremely important job. When my kid was in daycare, I tried to come as close as I could afford to tipping one week’s pay for the daycare provider.
– Tipping your employees (what do you do?) depends on your industry/employees. A holiday bonus is great, though I’ve never received one since I work for a nonprofit. My boss makes us some sort of a goodie, like pretzels dipped in chocolate, for which we are grateful. If your employees don’t make a lot of money, I would think a generous holiday bonus would be much appreciated.
– Never tip your boss. Employees are not supposed to give gifts to their bosses; it looks like brown-nosing. Also, your boss is payed more than you are, so why are you giving up the ladder? Hard to get out of if you’ve already been doing it, though.
– I keep a lot of tipping low by not using as many service people as you do. I don’t have a paper carrier, a manicurist, a house cleaner (I’d like one, though!), or a landscaper. If you do employ people like that, most of them don’t make much, so I do think tips are appreciated.
– I confess I don’t tip mail carriers, because for some reason I always think “my letter carrier works for the federal government, that could be bribery!” — I suppose it’s not, but I tend not to tip government employees. I also don’t tip the garbage workers. I never see them and have no idea how to tip them, so I just don’t. I’ve occasionally considering taping a plate of cookies to the top of the garbage pail, but that’s gross, and for all I know, they wouldn’t see the plate. I don’t think they get out of the truck.
– Teachers: when my child was in elementary school, someone would organize a class gift to the teacher at the end of the year, and I would participate. I also would gladly contribute to classroom supplies if needed. I did not tip or send a gift for the holidays. We didn’t do that for our teachers when I was growing up, and if I were a teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to take a lot of stuff home to clutter up my house.
– Never feel guilty about not tipping doctors or dentists. They really aren’t hurting financially and don’t need our tips.
– As a gift recipient I can tell you: I teach Sunday School. Most kids don’t bring gifts, and that is fine with me. I don’t teach to get gifts, and I don’t prefer the kids who bring gifts to those who don’t. Of the gifts I’ve received, I really appreciated a Target gift card when my husband was unemployed (for obvious reasons), and I appreciate edible gifts — if I can’t or won’t eat them, I’ll give them to my husband or child. I really don’t care for Stuff, because I’m trying to declutter my home, though I am grateful for the thought. I’m guessing many people feel the same way, so keep that in mind as you make tipping/gifting decisions.
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I’m stunned by this article. The garbage collectors? Really? The newpaper person who clearly makes so little effort to do the job with care? In my area a garbage collector makes around $60k. Frankly, I feel my tax dollars are compensating them plenty well enough. On weeks that I put out less than the limit or bundle my cardboard extra neatly should I expect a tip from them for making their job easier? Of course not. I know I’m completely nuts but I figure we should all just do our jobs well and with a smile if possible and not expect others to feel obliged to reward us for being competent and reliable.
Once our kids hit high school and had multiple teachers who changed each semester that was the end of teacher gifts. We still have one in elementary school, but early in December the monthly newsletter reminds us to skip the gifts and instead make a donation in the teacher’s name to the snowsuit fund (for kids without proper winter clothing). We have 6 teachers in our family and I can guarantee none of them want or need another mug (unless they are into skeet shooting on the weekends…).
I’ve always objected in principle to tipping. You are paid to do a job and out of personal pride I do mine well. If I do it well I get to keep my job. If I do it poorly I should be fired. Tipping to reward someone for doing the job they are paid to do seems completely unecessary.
Whew, rant over now. Sorry.
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I agree TOTALLY with this comment. This actually falls into the same category as my visceral disgust with ‘haggling’. Just set the damn value for the job, and pay the person who does it fair value for their labor. It doesn’t need to be this complicated.
I would make exceptions for employees (Xmas bonus if the business was doing well). And I would certainly consider thank-you notes and gifts for someone who had really gone above and beyond their job description for me.
But this list is insane.
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I totally understand not tipping well-paid people ($60K a year for garbage collection? I’m in the wrong field!), but I don’t object at all to tipping people who don’t make a lot of money otherwise (think waitstaff, for example). They may just be doing the job for which they are paid, but some people are paid poorly because they are expected to make part of their salary in tips, and others are just paid poorly and/or only give part-time hours (very much the case for many service-industry jobs). I figure that if I can afford luxuries like eating out, I can afford to tip poorly paid service employees in order to help them make a living wage.
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Yes, in the cases where the assumption of tipping is already built into the job description and typical wage…that’s when I tip. But apart from waitstaff, I rarely encounter them.
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BBbudget, you stated you have always objected to the principle of tipping? I agree in some cases it is a little over the top, but some jobs absolutely depend on tips. My husband works as a valet and he makes $2.13 an hour! They expect the valets to make tips which is why they pay so little. A person cannot live on $2.13 an hour so for jobs like valets, waiting tables, etc… please realize tips are very much part of their pay and they are very dependent on your kindness. They are not getting paid a living wage by their employer so you are not simply tipping them to do their job as you stated.
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I subscribe via RSS, so I rarely see the comments. When I read this post, I had such a strong reaction to it that I had to see what other people were saying in the comments. I’m so glad so many people had the same reaction I did! I’m not a crazy cheapskate – this is just a really long list!
I agree with comment #32 – I’m surprised to see something like this on a PF blog.
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YES! I was going to say the exact same thing. I had to come check out the comments because I couldn’t believe how long the list was. I had to see if everyone else did this, too!
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This writer is joking…tip my Doctor and Orthodontist? Now that is hilarious !! How about the Forbes 400 richest people in America, don’t forget them, they’ve been good this year !!
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Normally I wouldn’t comment, but wow – don’t tip a newspaper guy who gets your paper wet nearly half the time and *includes a self addressed envelope*.
Just… sheesh man. Good grief.
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Yeah, if I subscribed to a newspaper and the delivery person got it wet nearly half the time, the only thing in their envelope at holiday time would be printouts from the web of articles like “How to Improve Your Aim” and “Giving Better Customer Service”. Better yet, cancel the subscription and save the money, esp. since nearly half the papers are too wet to read. THAT’S how you get rich slowly.
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Honestly…
I would never EVER spend that much!
Maybe it is cultural, but personally I don’t see why I should tip / give gifts to the mailman or the garbage collectors. Hair stylists, for me I don’t have a regular one so I tip when I go. Nails – not in my budget so that’s out.
Gifts to teachers are also simply not done in my country, so I would by default save on that.
Employees, now that I understand and support absolutely. Same for housecleaner / sitter etc., these are your employees and you have a closer relationship with them, while the mailman etc is not. There I would even spend a bit more, maybe 20$ each. However personally I don’t have a housecleaner etc. so wouldn’t be incurring that.
Boss? Maybe not so much, unless it is a combined gift from everyone. Otherwise it’s a bit like sucking up?
Same goes for coaches, if all the parents get together and say give 5$ each, you could get a voucher for a nice meal or some such thing, rather than individually giving small stuff. Collaborate.
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I know I don’t enjoy receive things like mugs and picture frames. I appreciate the thought but have no idea what to do with them so they usually end up being donated.
Here’s how I would cut the list:
- Ditch the mugs. Just make the nuts for everyone you were going to give the mugs to. And find out if any of those people have food allergies to nuts, wheat, eggs, ect and tailor your food gift accordingly.
- Why are you tipping the HOA? Are they that amazing?
- For your employees/boss, see if anyone wants to just have a potluck or pool money and have a nice lunch in (or out)
- For the coaches, see if other parents want to combine resources and get a larger gift like a bigger Starbucks GC or a Fandango GC.
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I can’t speak to a lot of the list
I don’t get my hair done
I don’t get my nails done
I don’t get my lawn done
I don’t get the newspaper
I homeschool, so no teachers, though as a former high school teacher, I will say that I got only a handful of gifts each year, and while they were very appreciated, It was the thought that counted. I would have loved a $5 gift card to starbucks, but it isn’t necessary.
I do have two ladies that clean my house every couple weeks, and I have budgeted a tip of $50 apiece for them for Christmas BUT I will note that I budgeted that at the beginning of the year when we first allocated money for that luxury. I think that is a key for this exercise. If you are tipping every time you have your hair done, that tip comes out of your hair budget, not out of a gift budget. I would tip more in December than other months, but it would still come out of the hair budget. I think that leaving it to the end of the year and mixing tipping for services with your gift budget for friends and family can get sticky.
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I see two problems with this allocation. First, as every stingy person in the world seems to have observed, it is overinclusive. I agree that holiday gifts are not required for all of the people on the list. But, second, it is too cheap with the people who do deserve gifts. Forget about the HOA, etc. and provide better gifts where they are really warranted.
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I try to look at my gift giving with a critical eye. If I would not be excited to receive it, I avoid giving it. Mugs definitely fall in that category as does most cheap smelly bath stuff. Homemade nuts will be appreciated just as much in simple packaging as they would in a mug for sure.
I agree with others on giving a class gift to teachers. Why spark competition with other students? Gives an appearance of impropriety, like you are trying to win better treatment for your kids.
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