Look at the school systems first then narrow down the neighborhoods from there. Even though you probably saw all the nice areas of SoCal on your vacation there are a lot of really crap public schools.

Practice your commute before signing a lease. Get up early drive to your possible new home and leave there for the office. You may be shocked at how long it takes to go 12 miles compared to what you’re used to.

I lived in orange county (Tustin, Irvine, Huntington Beach, and Costa Mesa) for ~ 9 years and just moved to Denver.

The first thing they did two years before they moved was start getting their sad lawn in shape. They hired one of those companies that fertilize and aerate and stuff, and by the time they were ready to put the house on the market, the yard looked great.

So spend some time making sure your house is market-ready in a relatively leisurely fashion. You’ll get more for the house and it won’t be as stressful.

My only word of advice is to go full throttle. Do not do it halfway. After living a life of financial irresponsibility in San Diego for a couple of years I had my “oh !$#@” moment when I decided I needed to get my financial act together. Enemy #1 was rent on the beach, so I moved 3 miles inland. Just a 10 minute drive to the beach at most! Upon moving inland and the beach not being anything new, I found myself always looking to go watch a sunset “tomorrow.” Living within walking to the beach (as opposed to a 10 minute car ride) is a significant difference in your day to day. If this is the stuff your dreams are made of, don’t settle for good enough.

I’ve tried to get information from various sources about the reality of my fears, but all I get are glossy photos of seniors enjoying a care-free lifestyle at an expensive 55+ community.

Maybe I’ll buy an RV and keep it filled with gas.

Bad part – we had to move in 3 weeks! But I am living proof that it can be done.

First thing – we listed our town house with a reliable and knowledgeable realtor. He was a big help as we communicated daily until the house was sold.
Secondly – We were moving from a 2100 sq ft townhouse with full basement to an apartment for a year until we figured out where to buy something decent. So we had to get rid of a lot of stuff. Fast! Everything was listed on Internet and word of mouth. E.g. – 2 year old leather couch in excellent condition for $300 plus free 36″ HD TV! Most of the stuff sold really fast. Rest went to VW vets and Salvation army. Their truck was a permanent fixture in our driveway.

We stayed in company provided hotel for one week until we found an apartment.

Life in So Cal – love it! Love it! Love it!
Other than housing (ok – thats a big part but not tremendously from NJ) it’s not that much more expensive. The beautiful weather makes up for it. Plan out your lifestyle and its quite affordable. We moved one town over from Laguna Beach – this gives us best of both worlds. The beach is 7 minutes away and we get to live in nice housing development – much cheaper than expensive Laguna Beach where traffic is a nightmare and a shack will cost $1M (or close enough!) In the summers we make use of free shuttle service in LB and go to the concerts and art galleries and of course the beach!

The lifestyle here so much more fun and relaxed. You can do lots of free things that are fun. I meet friends for a jog on the beach routinely or go for hikes in the middle of January where its snowing in other parts of the nation. There are many free concerts and musical events and art shows throughout the year.

The food is amazing – local farmers markets everywhere and by learning to shop wisely I have cut my grocery bill tremendously while cooking healthy fresh food at home.

We have cut back from 3 TV’s in NJ to one nice one here. And we love that change. Because we are outside most of the time, we don’t miss the idiot box.

And you get to wear flip-flops all year round!

Good luck to you – I hope you make it here!

1) Sell everything. I so wish we moved with just a backpack and a few boxes…

2) If you must take all your junk, negotiate HARD with the moving trucks rental companies. Investing a few hours in negotiation can save you thousands in your move. The online quotes are never the best price. Call and ask for a discount (no reason needed) and you’ll get one. Then tell the other company you got this deal from that guy. Play the game back and forth… We ended up with 35% off the online quoted price plus unlimited miles, a brand new truck (for great gas mileage) and a free dolly and moving blankets. If I stopped after the first negotiation I would have saved only 20%. NEGOTIATE HARD!!!

I definitely agree with the idea of starting to sort and pack as soon as possible, and with the idea of doing as much of the packing and shipping yourself as possible.

Who knows… maybe a couple of the groups in your new town will send a group to come over and help unload — another favorite story of mine is about how a church group moved two young adults lock, stock and barrel– from taking beds apart through loading and hauling and right down to hanging pictures and putting silverware in the drawers at the new home. This was only across town, but the point is that moving goes so quickly with a few people to help.

Good luck and I admire you for making a list and a timeline.

As far as southern CA goes, it’s all expensive (at least if anywhere near the beach), but some places are more expensive than others. If you are willing to settle for living within easy day trip distance to the beach (and not literally right on it) you’ll also have a lot more options, and still get to enjoy the rest of the many benefits that come with southern CA living.

We usually move ourselves. Budget or Penske trucks are a lot easier to drive than you might think. However, your car insurance will not cover the truck so be prepared to pay an obnoxious amount for coverage through the company. Note: Most recently the university reimbursed moving only after 6-months of being on the job.

Rented our house but kept control of the garage. This allowed us to store our belongings we did not want to move yet. Have you priced storage? Storage can easily set you back $100 to $300 per month based on needs and location.

Best wishes!

Seriously, life is too short to not live the life you want. Doing research is key, especially if you have kids. School districts vary greatly here so check them out online to make sure you’re in a great area. That will set the tone for most of the search and other details. Budgeting is important because it is expensive to live here – housing, gas, state sales and income taxes, vehicle registrations, food, etc. Prepare to downsize and pay a lot more for it!

Start sorting and selling or giving away stuff NOW. Shipping is expensive and in many cases, it’s easier and less costly to just replace many items (especially if you use craigslist when you get there). Your stuff might not even fit into your new space or decor. Consider renting furnished to start.

Getting involved in community events, sports, etc. will help you meet other families and develop vital support systems. It will still take TIME to really get to know people and forge the kind of bonds and trust needed to ever leave your kids in their care though (and vice versa) so start getting involved as soon as you arrive.

Finally, if possible consider keeping your TX home as a rental property, at least for the first couple of years. It will give you all the tax benefits of home ownership (and more since you will then be able to deduct repairs, maintenance, management, etc.) even while you rent a new primary residence, plus maybe provide a little income toward your rent but it can be a backup plan just in case something unexpected happens. Owning in TX is, in many ways, a lot easier and less expensive than owning in CA so it might make financial sense to rent for less in an area you might otherwise not be able to afford while owning elsewhere – we still rent here but own a variety of income properties in other states (and we are in the real estate business!)

Above all, be open minded and remember that CA isn’t TX – people think and do things differently here and they come from all walks of life. Don’t try to recreate your old life; build a new one. Give it time, focus on what you really value as a family and make sure your spending is on the same track (i.e. spend more to live closer to the water in a smaller space). Good luck and enjoy the adventure!