tinyhands wrote:You have got to find a way to enforce the rules, which probably includes a curfew and random searches. Make it clear that the food in YOUR refrigerator is off-limits (by locking it, for example) as is YOUR electricity and other utilities.
I understand where you're coming from but that won't work with her. We do intend to make her pay her share of home expenses once she turns 18, as a way to encourage her to go out on her own. And we can easily cut off her two main lifelines (internet and cable) if she refuses to pay. We can live without cable (we rarely watch TV) so it's no loss to us if we cut it, but she watches TV eight hours or more a day. I can control her internet access via my router. She fights fire with fire: if we set a confrontational atmosphere she will match it and exceed it.
She was actually planning to move out earlier this year and live with a friend, but in typical fashion she and her friend had a fight and no longer speak to each other, and now that we're buying our own house she's suddenly much more interested in sticking around. (She's so excited about the new house that she and her friends tried to break into it the other night so she could show her friends around. We don't sign until next week so it's not our house yet! Oh how I wish the police had caught her doing that, it might have taught her a lesson.)