I don't believe that sending kids to daycare means the kids are not being raised by their parents anymore.
With all due respect, it doesn't really matter whether or not you "believe" it, it's a logical tautology. If you take 2 children and send one off to spend 8 hours a day with a stranger, and the other spends those 8 hours a day with a parent, then obviously the latter child is spending more time with a parent, and an argument can be made that the former child is being raised by a stranger.
The reality is, when a child spends his days in daycare, the parents are going to miss a lot of major milestones. His first words, his first steps, the first time he reads - the things that parents claim are the achievements that drove them to want to have children in the first place. Instead of achieving those accomplishments with a parent, the child will instead be celebrating those victories with some minimum-wage babysitter.
We believe it is better for our child to have a happy mom than a grumpy stay at home mom.
I'm trying really
hard to be diplomatic and civil about this, but again, with all due respect, if you were not emotionally prepared for the ups and downs of parenthood, maybe you shouldn't have had children in the first place. Raising kids is hard, but that doesn't make it right to just slough the job off onto someone else. The child will suffer for it. The statistics bear this out. If you look at the proportion of prison inmates and drug addicts who came from broken or absentee parent households (such as those where both parents worked), it's dramatically higher than the general population.
The ideal situation is to have one parent stay home and raise the child, while the other works. This is the undeniable conclusion of pretty much every study, every child psychologist, and every statistical analysis on the subject. The best argument people can make for daycare is that "it's not that bad," which is an implicit acknowledgement that the alternative (having the child be raised by a parent) would be better.
Obviously, in many cases, this isn't possible, and I certainly do not mean to malign single mothers (or single fathers) trying to make the best of a bad situation. But when parents have such an enormous income (as you do) and have the capability of providing their child with the best environment, and make a conscious choice not
to, it just seems selfish to me. Again, I apologize, it's not my place to judge, I'm just speaking my mind here. You're going to do what you're going to do, it's your life and your child. I just hope you understand the increased risks you're inviting into your child's life, for the sake of a little extra cash in your pocket.