partgypsy wrote:Even if kids in daycare are more statistically likely to end up criminals,
It's not "if," it's a provable fact. It's like saying, "even if minorities ARE statistically overrepresented in prisons..." It's not an opinion, it's a fact.
partgypsy wrote:you do know that most probably those families are going to be different from each other in other ways [...] don't you?
That's a great point, you're absolutely right. It's definitely multifactorial. But it's certainly what statisticians would call an "indicator." We can't draw a direct line from daycare to prison, but if there's evidence that it's a contributory factor, why would you chance it if you didn't have to? If you have no choice, that's one thing, but if you're ridiculously wealthy - as bel is - why would you voluntarily take that chance?
partgypsy wrote:What do you think of grandparents being used as daycare?
Obviously it depends on the grandparents. Are they safe, trustworthy individuals? Do they like children? Are they healthy and fit enough to be able to lift a child in and out of a playpen or high chair? Do they drink? Are they good teachers? Do the children like them?
I don't mean to imply that a daycare worker's job is easy. It takes a great deal of patience, skill, knowledge, and personality to be a great childcare provider. If a grandparent happens to have that rare combination, and is able and willing to provide childcare for their grandchild, then I think that's a fantastic situation. You have a capable, skilled individual with a vested emotional interest in a child's wellbeing, willing to supply valuable care to a child and free the parents up to provide a better financial footing for the family. It's almost ideal (where "perfectly ideal" would be one or both parents providing the full-time care for the child).
partgypsy wrote:My mom watched my niece and nephew, and they seem pretty well-adjusted.
Partgypsy, I like you, so I'll say this as politely as I can. The plural of "anecdote" is not data.
My mom was a smoker, but my brother doesn't have asthma. Nevermind that my sister and I do.
None of my parents' cars had airbags growing up, and we all survived, so clearly airbags don't add any additional safety to cars.
And so on.
partgypsy wrote:Why do you infer that all day care or pre school is done by "indifferent" people?
Because the care provider's primary motivation is money. They're not babysitting your child because they want to see them develop into their full potential, or they want to ensure that your family is financially well-off. They're doing it for money. They wouldn't babysit for free. Only someone who personally loves the child would donate that kind of an effort for the child. The care workers are doing it for money. In 5 years, their current crop of kids will be fading memories, and they won't think twice about them ever again. They'll be too busy watching over the new herd. Each year, some will cycle in, some will cycle out, and the care workers will never follow up with any of the children once they're gone. They have no long-term vested emotional interest in the children. And in a way, I think the children know that.
As I alluded to before, there's also an unspoken rule among daycare workers that "nothing ever happens here for the first time." It's part of their culture. It means that when a parent proudly proclaims that their child said their first words at home last night, the daycare worker does not
reveal that the child was actually saying the word all afternoon the day before. Likewise with first steps, first potty, and a number of other firsts. The daycare workers allow the parents to believe that their child actually did those things for the first time with the parents.
Why would daycare workers feel they need to lie about those things if there's nothing to be ashamed of? I believe it's because deep down, parents feel guilty about putting their kids in daycare. Knowing that they're missing out on all the "firsts" that seemed so important when they first saw the little blue '+' symbol on the pregnancy test would amplify that guilt, so the daycare workers lie to shelter the parents from that guilt.