Thanks! I wish I read your reply.

Woah Bel you have thicker skin than I do. If somebody were to infer my child was to become a drug addict breaking into people's home for vicodin because I put them in daycare, momma bear be coming out!!!

Even if kids in daycare are more statistically likely to end up criminals, you do know that most probably those families are going to be different from each other in other ways than the daycare question (1 vs 2 parent household, possibly less family social support, lower financial stability, etc) that would also impact criminality, don't you?

Kombat and I'm curious, what do you think of grandparents being used as daycare? My mom watched my niece and nephew, and they seem pretty well-adjusted. Why do you infer that all day care or pre school is done by "indifferent" people? All the parents I know do a lot of talking and researching to figure out where to place their child. You don't seem to have alot of trust that parents are trying to do their best for their children.

Ironically I do agree with the statement that is is desirable that there be one stay at home parent during the child's pre-school years. It is not always possible, but it is something to strive for. But I disagree with you in that there is more than 1 way to raise a well-adjusted child, simply by looking at the variety of ways other cultures raise children (often multiple people in the extended family caring for the child).

It's not "if," it's a provable fact. It's like saying, "even if minorities ARE statistically overrepresented in prisons..." It's not an opinion, it's a fact.



That's a great point, you're absolutely right. It's definitely multifactorial. But it's certainly what statisticians would call an "indicator." We can't draw a direct line from daycare to prison, but if there's evidence that it's a contributory factor, why would you chance it if you didn't have to? If you have no choice, that's one thing, but if you're ridiculously wealthy - as bel is - why would you voluntarily take that chance?



Obviously it depends on the grandparents. Are they safe, trustworthy individuals? Do they like children? Are they healthy and fit enough to be able to lift a child in and out of a playpen or high chair? Do they drink? Are they good teachers? Do the children like them?

I don't mean to imply that a daycare worker's job is easy. It takes a great deal of patience, skill, knowledge, and personality to be a great childcare provider. If a grandparent happens to have that rare combination, and is able and willing to provide childcare for their grandchild, then I think that's a fantastic situation. You have a capable, skilled individual with a vested emotional interest in a child's wellbeing, willing to supply valuable care to a child and free the parents up to provide a better financial footing for the family. It's almost ideal (where "perfectly ideal" would be one or both parents providing the full-time care for the child).



Partgypsy, I like you, so I'll say this as politely as I can. The plural of "anecdote" is not data.

My mom was a smoker, but my brother doesn't have asthma. Nevermind that my sister and I do.

None of my parents' cars had airbags growing up, and we all survived, so clearly airbags don't add any additional safety to cars.

And so on.



Because the care provider's primary motivation is money. They're not babysitting your child because they want to see them develop into their full potential, or they want to ensure that your family is financially well-off. They're doing it for money. They wouldn't babysit for free. Only someone who personally loves the child would donate that kind of an effort for the child. The care workers are doing it for money. In 5 years, their current crop of kids will be fading memories, and they won't think twice about them ever again. They'll be too busy watching over the new herd. Each year, some will cycle in, some will cycle out, and the care workers will never follow up with any of the children once they're gone. They have no long-term vested emotional interest in the children. And in a way, I think the children know that.

As I alluded to before, there's also an unspoken rule among daycare workers that "nothing ever happens here for the first time." It's part of their culture. It means that when a parent proudly proclaims that their child said their first words at home last night, the daycare worker does not reveal that the child was actually saying the word all afternoon the day before. Likewise with first steps, first potty, and a number of other firsts. The daycare workers allow the parents to believe that their child actually did those things for the first time with the parents.

Why would daycare workers feel they need to lie about those things if there's nothing to be ashamed of? I believe it's because deep down, parents feel guilty about putting their kids in daycare. Knowing that they're missing out on all the "firsts" that seemed so important when they first saw the little blue '+' symbol on the pregnancy test would amplify that guilt, so the daycare workers lie to shelter the parents from that guilt.

I don't even have kids and I agree. Being a parent is hard... and there's essentially no way to do _everything_ "right" in the eyes of everyone. So why heap on tons of unneccessary judgement on someone who's clearly trying to do her best?

I don't need a think skin. You see, that's our plan all along. My husband and I want to be evil rich. Bwahahahaha! So, it would be appropriate that our child would be evil in some ways too. We're just so glad that the solution for both is as easy as putting our child in daycare. Bwahahaha!



Sorry, I just couldn't help it. LOL!

So did you in fact change your work schedule after all?

Yes. I'm now on a part time schedule. This week, I'm only working 20 hrs.

And is everyone and you both adjusting to that well?

(I would _love_ to be able to make that kind of schedule work when I have kids. I think it's pretty much ideal. Unfortunately, I don't know that my company would do it for very long and I'm our primary income so I don't know if we could swing it even so. Oh well.)

Definitely! I believe everyone is happier because I'm more rested, relaxed, etc.

I guess I'm lucky to have a flexible job and understanding boss. My boss does not have any problem with a long term part-time schedule. The other good thing is, I can easily switch back to full-time if I need it.

With my part-time schedule, I will still be bringing home $70k+. So, not a bad deal.

You just never know what the future is going to be. Who knows, you may be able to do it too! I sure did not ever imagined I could. I thought I will have to change careers (be a teacher) to have a work schedule that works great with kids.

My wife works in the school system (though she is not a teacher.) So far her schedule doesn't work any better for our baby than a "normal" work schedule. Well, the one nice thing is that she is only expected (and paid) to work 7 hours per day; so that lets her drop the baby off at day care (oh the horrors) and get to work and back in time to pick her up. Eventually when our daughter is in school, of course the summer vacations off will be nice. Right now she doesn't work in the school district we live in. Who knows if that will change in 5 years.