Again, I know you're not going to start listening to me, since you haven't listened (or read, rather) before, but things are only going to get better when you realize that you're in WAY over your head. You are in debt up to your eyeballs, yet you buy your GF a 6000 dollar ring? They didn't have anything cheaper that you could buy to express your love, and then tell her "we can upgrade when I get out of debt"?
You say that you didn't buy toys or cars, but you did buy plane tickets and 6000 dollars worth of something. That BOA card was down to 0, and then you ran it up again.
If you want help, and you want some accountability, you should probably post your expenses individually (phone 50, groceries 300, dining out 50, etc..), write a budget so that the people here can help you and start sticking to it.
No, I'm not married, and only have to live with myself, but I certainly wouldn't want to marry someone who can't get a handle on their own finances. You say she has debt too, but you guys are going to be in big trouble if you double the debt and double the spending.
What is it going to take to get through to you?
I agree, this could be a train wreck.
A $6000 engagement ring? Were you worried she did not love you? Is she a gold digger? Really, that might be ok if you can afford it but you clearly can't. And teh fact that you spending that much on a ring did not piss her off should probably be a BIG RED FLAG for both of you!