I've decided to come back from my break to start chronicling my journey towards a healthier, more balanced me. In my old fiscal fitness journal, I talked briefly about my unhealthy relationship with spending money on myself. It's tough and something I'm actively working on in therapy. I need a written record of how I can spend money on myself, and still be okay. I have to be the only woman ever whose husband had to stand there and argue her INTO buying a Coach clutch (from the outlet with a 40% off coupon).
The "gazelle intense" focus on debt reduction is unhealthy for me. My student loans are too high. Even if every extra dime went towards my student loans, it would take something like 4 years to pay it all off. It's not reasonable nor healthy to put off all extras for 4 years. That's insane. I need to accept that I will not get out of debt any time soon and that's alright. I can afford my monthly payment without any difficulty. The high interest debt will be paid off this summer. The rest is 4%. Paying off my debt instead of investing isn't even the wisest use of money.
I'll start with my small splurges. I'm doing two monthly beauty box subscriptions. This is something frivolous and silly that I'm doing purely because I love getting surprise makeup and other beauty supplies in the mail. These are each $10/mo. I'm spending $240/yr on makeup I may or may not use. And I LOVE it.
Last weekend, my therapist had me buy a new bathing suit without looking at the price tag until after I picked one I liked. Apparently, I have expensive taste in bathing suits. I tried on about 15 bikinis until I found one I liked. $100+! The price is less than the multiple bathing suits I should have bought in the last 13 years. Because it's not cool to keep the same bathing suit for 13 years. I also bought a necklace I didn't need but really wanted. Then again, I only have 1 other nice necklace.
This weekend, my assignment is to get a high end mani/pedi. It's "not allowed" to be just the basic. I think next week is to get a massage or facial. My therapist is so hard.
Next month, DH and I are taking a long overdue trip away. In 10 years together, we have never gone on a vacation together. We're flying to Venice for a 7 day cruise of the Greek Islands followed by several days in Venice playing tourist. I'm doing a cheesy gondola ride down the canal, darn it.
This summer, we're going to have dinner at Per Se. Last summer, DH and I went to a couple fine dining restaurants followed by nights out of the town. The picture that the Saudi princess's companion took of us in the Plaza Hotel as we drank crazy fancy cocktails makes me smile every time I look at it. I still can't believe we actually walked into Plaza Hotel and ordered a drink like we belonged there. Per Se is the final dinner that I feel like I really want to experience before we move back to the midwest.
It is actually hard. My therapist has me repeating that "I deserve to treat myself," but it goes against everything I have always told myself. I'm afraid of becoming one of those people who gets manicures every week but not being responsible about it. I guess this journal is also to reassure myself that I'm not being irresponsible while I get mani pedis and go on vacations.
So! All this is to say that I'm going to chronicle this while still meeting a reasonable savings goal and paying down my student loans. Maybe not as fast as possible but definitely more healthy.