How many of you have what I call "foolin yourself expenses " ?

This is where you have your table of debt of what you are working on - so much for credit card #1 , so much for credit card #2 , so much for the car payment , so much for single / joint expenses , so much for loans .

But your significant other is bugging you about the $2,000 you owe her for the household items that were bought 6 months ago , or the curtains , or the fridge that she paid for and you haven't included this in your financial table .

I recently had $1,000 of expenses for my child that I owed my spouse , and $440 in curtain expenses . And I finally said , you know , I am just foolin myself . I paid her the $1,440 and put that amount into my debt table .

Does this sound familiar ?

**Marcopolo

Why would you "owe" your wife money? Why haven't you combined your finances?

My wife and I don't have "my" house and "her" house. We just have "our" house. We just have "our" income. We have "our" life together. I think if you combine your finances (and thus, your lives), you'll find a lot of these problems disappear, or at least manifest more visibly in your (combined) budget.

I don't think combining finances is necesary to see these. Just do exactly what you did - recognize that money you owe your partner (or future expenses that she routinely covers and you reimburse her for) is a real debt/expense and needs to be accounted for in your budget.

(I don't have these so much, but my partner does. All of our gasoline purchases go on my credit card which comes out my paycheck since there's a nice discount. It took him a while to adjust to the fact that while he doesn't have a to-the-penny amount he'll owe me each month, he has enough history to have a good planning basis.)

Panda, I don't mean to condescend, but there's a difference between keeping separate finances with your "partner" (the word you used) and your "spouse" (the word the OP used).

I agree that it's not necessary (or even prudent) to combine finances with your boyfriend, best friend, live-in-friend-with-benefits, or whatever else "partner" may mean. However, once you've made the commitment of marriage, I absolutely think it's essential to combine finances. Otherwise, what's the point in getting married if you're not really willing to combine your life?

J.D. defended his "separate finances" approach for years, and now he's getting divorced. I recognize it's just one example, but ... just sayin'.

Just my two cents, I've never understood the logic of married couples keeping separate finances and one "owing" and having to pay the other for expenses. I can only see it leading towards resentment, especially if one makes significantly more than the other.

Why is this thread even in the Fiscal Fitness Journals Folder?