whoa, deep breath. Sounds like you or other folks you know have had bad experiences with sales people ("financial advisors" = salespeople).
I don't know anyone who "lost it all" in the .com bust, and if you do then that individual was way undiversified into just .com IPOs, and even then bad business model .com IPOs.
Take a look at passive (meaning unmanaged) index mutual funds, like Jericho mentioned, if you want to do dollar cost averaging, and ETFs if you are looking to do batch investing (e.g. hey I just got my tax refund, what should I do with it?).
Index mutual funds and index ETFs are highly efficient (meaning low cost to you and low turnover in portfolio) and pretty much match whatever index it represents.
Might you lose money? Perhaps, but it's not likely in the long run. But it isn't the same as laggard, actively managed mutual funds that may have diminishing points of return (meaning, where you are only making single digits after the sales commission, which you pay when you go through a salesperson oops I meant "financial advisor")