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A place for Get Rich Slowly readers to ask questions
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It is currently Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:13 pm




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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 8:35 am 

Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2007 8:11 am
Posts: 1088
Location: Sunny Florida
I'd get the car paid off and then just pay the minimum on the student loan (at 2% interest rate, if you don't kill it in the next two years you'll still be okay). Once the car is paid off then I would save, save, save for the wedding. I agree with others I would have your bridal party tell inquiring guests that cash/checks are welcome as gifts. Also if you don't register for gifts people will probably give cash (but you are a wedding planner so you probably know best) as gifts.

Set a budget for the event and stick to it. My wedding planner (who was worth every penny) did a great job helping us come up with a real budget and while the budget was adjusted a couple of times we did stick to it. We paid for about 2/3 of our wedding up front in cash but we also used a 0% credit card to cover the rest and for expenses that we wanted extra protection on (we then paid off those expenses with cash along the way) and then we snow balled the 0% credit card during out TMM. The money we spent on our wedding was well worth it and one of the best investments we could have made in our relationship.

Also, do you have a wedding planner friend that could do your day off duties and you could work a wedding for them in the future?

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Sam

http://adventures-of-sam.blogspot.com
(Follow Sam's financial and real estate adventures.)


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:07 am 

Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:35 pm
Posts: 444
Location: USA
I eloped because a formal wedding was not important to me. However it doesn't mean it is not important to other people. My mother and father were upset (and apparently hurt his pride). My Dad ended up throwing a reception for us at his restaurant. so family members from both sides could celebrate and meet. I still don't think people should spend alot of money on a wedding, get in debt for it. However it is an important milestone that people like to celebrate.

I agree with Sam, that sounds like a reasonable compromise. that is pay off car, then other than making minimum payments on student loan start saving for wedding to be done in 2 years time. Then get back to your plan. If you want to get an excellent engagement ring, check out pricescope.com.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:22 pm 

Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:10 am
Posts: 223
WOW!

THANK YOU all so much for your enthusiastic and helpful comments. I never expected such a response for my question.

As a follow-up: We are committed to not go into any debt for anything. Wedding or otherwise. That means loans or credit cards are NOT an option.

Yes, this wedding is important to me and my family (and him, and his family) for a multitude of reasons. To get great pictures of my 94 year old Great Grandma is only one of them! Planning my own wedding will be a valuable selling point for my future brides. We want to proclaim our commitment to each other in front of God and everyone we love. We want to honor relatives that have passed away, and celebrate with the ones still here. It will be a ritual to bring us into a new life phase. Sorry I didn't qualify the importance to me beforehand!

Thanks for the input regarding our finances. We've discussed it more fully, and we've decided to do what the general consensus agreed on: to pay off the car loan @ 5%, then begin saving like mad for the wedding. Passing the word around that cash gifts are welcome, and hopefully finishing our debt snowball on the student loan within the first few years of marriage.

Specifically, thanks to partygypsy for the website link, and everyone who suggested using my friends/ family resources instead of them buying us gifts. We will be able to pull this off relatively inexpensively, and without the guilt/ anxiety of payments!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:59 pm 

Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:48 pm
Posts: 1
I just went to my cousin's wedding recently. One thing they did was to a rent a vacation house as many people were traveling to the wedding. They held the reception there and people were able to stay there. They hired people to partially cater the food and be servers for the reception itself. Those who stayed there would have otherwise had to pay for hotel rooms, so considering that the cost of the reception location was covered. It was an amazing reception. The house had a huge kitchen and entertaining space both inside and out. She also chose not to have any bridesmaids. In my experience with weddings there is always some bitterness about the bridesmaids dresses. They aren't flattering on someone in the wedding party, they are expensive, and are rarely used again. One friend of mine solved this dilemma by having her bridesmaids purchase black dresses on their own and then everyone wore coordinating red scarves as belts (a fairly modern wedding) and another friend has a super cheap wedding. It was in a park and she didn't bother to specify what she expected of the bridesmaids dresses other than not too nice to eat BBQ in. Also, I think music is one of the most important parts of a wedding (or any good party where people dance). Make sure to pick out every song!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 2:15 pm 

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:38 am
Posts: 280
When I married MrHolly, we had a really nice but really small wedding. Immediate fam only, and on a weekday. We were able to book a gorgeous small function room at a seaside inn on a Thursday for $800 including a prime rib dinner. I only needed flowers for my sister/maid of honor and myself. My other sister took photos (just a few). I made a mix tape (ok, this was almost 10 years ago.) My gown was a ready to wear dress I bought on clearance at Lord & Taylor.

Cheap and gorgeous wedding, wonderful memories. (And honestly, much better than my big first wedding. I did so much less worrying.)


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:01 am 

Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:45 am
Posts: 1
Practically thinking, about that case, it is more important to look for the future for every step you take. So, I mean, it is more practical to go to the court and marry if there are no savings for the wedding. And just put some little party on your house together with friends and relatives. If a good and beautiful wedding could lead you into a big debt then that would be a worst one. Anyway, You could have to pay first all of your debts and start saving a money for your wedding.




http://mybendixgomez.blogspot.com


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:13 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:52 am
Posts: 114
I am eager for an update!

If it were me, I would have done a very small, very streamlined wedding in this situation. I like the idea of a professional photographer - for the OP (and for many families), this might be the last chance to get a nice, formal picture of everyone. Have it on a Sunday morning in November in a nice, but modest, restaurant, instead of a Saturday evening in June at the Four Seasons. Limit the guest list (food and drink costs escalate so MUCH every time you add a few guests!). Have the groom and groomsmen wear their best suits, you wear a nice, white dress, and have your 'maids wear modest, appropriate dresses of their own choosing. Don't do favors (it's totally unncessary), and maybe just use modest bouquets and small or no centerpieces.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:17 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:52 am
Posts: 114
I just thought of a few more things, OP, in case you are still planning. Do you have any must-haves that you want for your wedding? You mentioned photography - in your shoes, I'd cut down on invitations/outfits/etc. so I could get a really fantastic photographer. If your DF is a foodie, maybe you should spend more on food while cutting the budget somewhere else.

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 Post subject: Re: Advice Please: Wedding OR Debt? UPDATE
PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:55 am 

Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:10 am
Posts: 223
To recap: In August 2008, we had $23k in debt and a $1,500 emergency fund. We paid off the $10k car note in February 2009 (very early), and then began saving a Fully Funded Emergency Fund. However, in July 2009 we threw most ($4k) of the FFEF towards the student loan (and last remaining debt) to pay it off. So we were Debt Free in July 2009, and then we saved a $10k six month emergency fund by the middle of November. THEN at the end of November he proposed =) and we saved $15k for a wedding (this September).

Its so nice to see our progress and feel like we made the right decisions. After the wedding, for which we have budgeted very strictly and are paying all cash… We’re going to begin again our 15% retirement savings and do some much needed home repairs.

As for the wedding budget… We’re getting married on a Sunday, which helped a ton. I’m swapping services with another wedding planner (I coordinated a wedding with her over Memorial Day weekend, so she is coordinating my wedding for free!). I bought my wedding gown online from a bride who loved it, it was 1/3 the cost of the same dress at a salon! And we negotiated prices for everything else. We’re also doing many projects on our own, like the invitations, favors, and some décor.

Thanks for your help everyone! I'm proof this stuff actually works!


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 Post subject: Re: Advice Please: Wedding OR Debt? UPDATE!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:28 pm 

Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:35 pm
Posts: 444
Location: USA
Sometimes, when there is something nice to look forward to, makes it easier to save the money :D


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 Post subject: Re: Advice Please: Wedding OR Debt? UPDATE!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:28 am 

Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:59 am
Posts: 74
well done Samantha for what must be one of the best financial planning i have seen.

someone i know is getting married in two weeks and and she has borrowed the money from bank and from family memebers which wasn't the best plan.
another friend has just got engaged and waiting 2 years because she and her boyfriend have just got a house and they know they dont need to rush due to other commitments.

hope you have a fantastic day :D


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 Post subject: Re: Advice Please: Wedding OR Debt? UPDATE!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:00 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:24 pm
Posts: 353
Location: St Pete
On a more delicate note, use good judgment when "Passing the word around that cash gifts are welcome." Older folks, more traditional folks, and 30-somthings who blanket their houses in antiques and doilies (me!) generally get somewhere between peeved and insulted with a dictum from the bride to send cash (or any other particular gift).

Weddings, as we have all discussed, are about more than the bride and groom getting hitched. It is about opening a new chapter on their lives, a personal invitation to an intimate moment in their lives, and so much more. I think wedding gifts should honor the occasion with heartfelt mementos.

As your friend, great-aunti Petunia, or whomever, do I care about your immediate debt snowball? Not one bit. We know you are capable.

What I care about is the long-term picture - you and your new bride/groom living happy, healthy lives together filled with joy and laughter. Let me get you a gravy boat that you will use now and forever, even when you have your family with great-grandbabes in tow for a Christmas supper (or some other memento for a future idyllic moment). Alternatively, I may have found a very nice table cloth for you that I thought you would particularly enjoy, or a piece of artwork that I thought would look beautiful in your home.

Even if it is lost on you, giving a wedding gift is only half about the recipient. It is also about giving joy to the person giving it. We get to imagine how your life will be enriched, even when we aren't there to share it with you. It's a 'hello there, I care about you!' from me when I'm long gone, moved away, etc. You may not care about it when you are 20-something, but you may rediscover it when you are 50 and decide that it's pretty darn spectacular after all.

Anyway, I should get off my soapbox. I just can't help but spout off on the subject every time I hear a bride say 'send cash!'

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