Hello!
So, any advice welcome. At the moment I'm in the "try to keep my mouth shut" camp but I want to talk about it so it's a struggle

My FIL called yesterday to discuss "something important" with my spouse - turns out he wants to buy a new car. At 88. With a home equity loan (that may be a secured personal loan, since it seems to be fixed rate & fully amortizing over 5 years).

I think this is a semi-crazy idea, but not sure that it is so crazy as to require intervention (see financial narrative below). Neither my spouse nor my MIL think it's a great idea either. FIL did the same thing 4 years ago (although with interest only HELOC, which has been paid down by about 75%) and my SIL is still angry at the car dealership (and my FIL) for that one.

My in-laws have enough money to get buy, but no extra. They ask for help paying their long-term care insurance premium each year. They also give substantial amounts to charity each year (like 1/3 of their total expenses!!). Every 6-12 months my FIL raises the red flag about not having enough money, but each time in the past after going through the numbers we come to the conclusion that they do have enough money, just not a lot of extra (SS and reasonable withdrawals from savings/investments cover expenses and should for the foreseeable future).

Us kids (my spouse & his 2 sisters) are okay but none of us are financially independent yet - all have gone through high debt times & we all have paid down or paid off debt, but no one has big reserves (yet). In fact it's borderline budget busting to help with the long term care contribution.

I do...wonder about the timing (right before Thanksgiving?) - some combo of wanting to affirm that driving is still something my FIL can do (various opinions in the family on that to - my view is he's fine if he's going someplace he's familiar, otherwise my MIL better be in the car to read the road signs for him), wanting to appear vital, wanting to stir things up...he even said that they might show up in the new car for Thanksgiving (!) but talking to MIL that sounds like it won't happen. I did mention to her that we could try delaying tactics but my guess is this is a 'terrier' item (FIL won't want to give up until he gets that bone...er car).

anyway, thoughts appreciated. keeping mouth shut for now (if I repeat that enough maybe I will be able to do it!)

Just make sure he buys a car you will appreciate inheriting.

Seriously, I think the bigger threat here is him driving at all. If he is in good condition to drive (which seems to be debatable) then I kind of take the view that it is his money and others (except his wife) should stay out of it. But you might gently tell him that you have your own expenses and that you think if he can afford a brand new car then he can afford to pay his own LTC insurance.

Bingo! I agree with DH on this one. If Gramps thinks he deserves a new car but he can't drive very well then he can pay his own insurance next time.

Buying a new car every four years is a bad choice at any age. (With an exception if you've got money to burn.)

Definitely it's hard not to feel that subsidizing the LTC premiums = subsidizing the new car indirectly.

Thank you all

@doinghomework - yes! I think my SIL will be slated for any "extra" car.

@stannius - I agree. FIL is still "aspirational" as the marketing folks say. Even once upon a time when spouse & I had lots of disposable income, we tended to go 6 or 8 years between cars (now we have a very dependable Mazda 3 hatchback that we intend to keep for many, many years). In fact, FIL used to disparage his brother's habit of getting a new Cadillac every 5 years. And perhaps 15 years ago FIL used the "this may be the last new car I buy" line as partial justification (not counting the current, possible purchase that was 3 cars ago).

@tightwad - yup. The SIL that paid up last year had to stretch to make it happen and isn't as financial planning savvy (her own finances are quite conservative & that works for her) - I think if the new car happens, I'll have a separate conversation with her way ahead of time to let her know that if necessary the parents *could* afford their own LTC.