I am so sorry to hear about your situation. These things are very very difficult. I suggest finding a good attorney.

Be extremely careful with the student loans. They can never ever be discharged, even in bankruptcy. If your ex stops paying them, as a co-signer, you might be left holding the bag.

If you're going through a contested divorce, I think you owe it to yourself to at least get an initial consultation with a divorce lawyer.

three thoughts (assuming US law) -
1-if your ex spouse has any real property (house, land, etc) you can attach the judgement as a lien to said property (ask your county or town clerk about procedure)
2-if your ex spouse has any personal or business property (or if you just don't know), in many states you may be able to file a "UCC" form that tells everyone (lenders, etc) that the ex owes you that much money (usually done through the Secretary of State office for your state; UCC stands for Uniform Commercial Code) - this is kind of like a lien against non-real-estate property
3-in some states, you can attach judgments for child support to professional license renewals (electrician, real estate sales person, etc) - not sure if that may also be available for divorce settlements or not, but worth a try (also a Secretary of State thing in many states)

Also, check out local legal resources - some areas legal aide offices are great, others not so much. Local women & children-oriented nonprofits may have some resources and/or pro bono connections. And network among the recently divorced, they may have ideas too.

I am going to research and look into all of these suggestions and see how they apply in my state.

FYI- The divorce hasn't gone through yet, I started this thread to see if I can get ideas on how to go about researching and stuff.

Especially since I am going to represent myself, he can't afford a lawyer neither. I intend to be prepared with knowledge and proof.


Thank you everyone.

I paid off all the debts, just wish he would work with me on a payment plan. Since he won't, I'm taking it up with the courts to decided.

Good luck. Since these were joint & they are paid now, I'm doubting you'll ever recoup a dime. Go into court prepared though. Have all of your documentation handy in case the judge decides to consider what you're asking.

I'm in agreement with Tightwad. Unfortunately, you are probably SOL.

Sigh, it was either that or my credit would go to the crapper. He doesn't care about his credit.

You'll need to argue that his actions were dissipation of the marital estate. Probably won't help on the student loans, but possibly will on the consumer debt.

I know someone who was able to get her ex-spouse's social security checks garnished for back child support. The youngest child of the relationship is currently 28. (I think support was supposed to be paid through the end of college though).

Fantasma, while I see no reason you shouldn't try to get money out of the deadbeat, you also shouldn't let it eat away at you. You got out and can move on with your life. As long as you are going after the money, he'll be in your life. What's that worth?

There's alot of validity to your point, and I have mulled it over.

Honestly I am going to try and then let it go.

I just feel as if he shouldn't just be allowed to get away with things just because.

This is someone who doesn't ever get handed a consequence in this game called life from his actions.

If anything I want for him to learn you can't just do as you please without having to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I won't go out of my way to make this a long drawn out affair though, I intend to complete the paperwork and see what happens.

A few ideas for you.

If you don't have kids, which it sounds like you do not, many courts have divorce clinics or divorce self help offices where you can get a lot of information, resources and research done. Also if no kids, you may want to consider entering into court sanctioned mediation to resolve division of assets and debts, repayment, etc. Mediation is easier to manage for those representing themselves.

Just cause he doesn't have money now, doesn't mean he might not have money in the future, i.e. better job, inheritance, IRS tax refunds, etc. I would try to get to an agreement through mediation which then, depending on state, you convert to a judgment. You may never be able to collect but I would get that piece of paper in case he comes into money.

Good luck!

That's a fantastic idea! If he at least recognizes that you carried a bigger load of the debt, and it sounds like he doesn't, you might be able to get him to agree to pay you a small amount every month for a LONG time. If he'll agree to pay you $5000 at $50 a month for example you would have at least made a point as well as gotten him to agree the debt is his. Then if he ever can afford to pay more you might get it. I picked $5000 randomly but you should use whatever is about what he owes you. Keep the amount he pays under $100 though so it doesn't seem like much. The point is not that he will ever have it paid off or that he pays you interest. The idea is just to have something that makes you feel like you are getting repaid and you still have him be the...er...short ones...if he ever comes into money.

Of course that would mean he is still in your life.

Thank you Sam, that's what I am hoping.