Costco for tires and they'll give you free rotations. I'm sure other places do that as well.
If you can't change your own oil for whatever reason, find someplace inexpensive and/or use a coupon.
Keep a record of everything you do to your car, so it gets done enough, but not TOO much.
I gather the same thing about fuel filters. Last time I was offered one, I said, "Dude, I'm sure I can do that myself" and the mechanic replied "Yeah, but it would take 3 hours and you'd probably completely strip it and have to take it in to the shop anyway". Blunt, but true.
Always drive a reliable car. (Check out Consumer Reports for reliability records.)
Drive less = less maintenance. (Trite, but true.)
I found this link about car preventive maintenance you can DIY.