Now I don't know if this is a rant or a question, but just wanted to get some feedback.

My FIL is springing for our family to have a 5 day/6 night vacation at Disneyworld. We are staying on resort and he is paying for our meal plans. It will be the parents plus their 3 children's families. Now some of the families want to go for 1 day to Universal Studios, primarily because of Harry Potter (neither of my kids). Although I would be mildly curious, I'm not sure I'm curious to the tune of $100 per person to go (at least $400 for our family not including food and souveniers), especially if it involves crowds and long waits. Other family members feel we should go even if our kids are not interested as "there are plenty of things besides Harry Potter", and it's "once in a lifetime". In contrast, what I would prefer to do for that day is either to RELAX (hang out at the resort swimming pool, spend an extra $15 a person ($60 total) to get an extra day at one the parks, or other low cost activities like mini golf, or sing along at Fort Wilderness, etc) But in general use that as a down day.

The other sticking point is Mickey's not so scary Halloween party. We know the rest of our group are going the same day we are going to MK, but at least me and my youngest are morning people and I'd rather relax at that point in the day than spend more hours in the parks.
How do you deal with group situations, where people think you join in, or are a kill-joy if you don't? I find it hard to say no in these situations. Should I put family togetherness over my preferences? We will be at the same parks the other 4 days of the vacation.

If you're paying, then do what you want. And I agree completely...it may be seen as "wasting" your time to have an off day...but I find them very important. Do not, under any circumstances, try to get your money's worth! I.e. don't drag your kids into the park the second it opens, and force them to stay there until it closes. If they want to have a pool day, so be it! And it may work better for you to go to a park early in the morning (beat the crowds), have a bit break in the middle of the day, then head back for a relaxing few hours. Quality, not quantity.

But...sounds like you're not paying, so I'd do what the FIL wants you to do. Also sounds like he's all for Disney, but not so much into Universal (since he's paying for the Disney part). If he's cool with you not going to Universal, then stay!

On the Halloween party...if you're having to pay for these tickets, I'd try my best to go to the party on a day that you're not going to the other parks. Why pay twice? You can enter as early as 4PM for the party. What I like to do is plan on arriving the day of the party we'll attend. Get setup, have a leisurely lunch, maybe a nap for the kids. Then we get up, get ready, and go to the party around 4-5PM. Now, it does get a bit crowded around 6 or so (lots of people showing up for the party, non-party people are still there too) but it thins out shortly after.

Well we would be going to party same day as going to Magic Kingdom. It is scheduled that day because we want to go on a day that has the MK fireworks. the Mickey Party could be scheduled the day before, when people are planning on a Universal trip. Regardless, doing a party in the evening, in addition to a full day at either park, is too much for me (and certainly for my youngest). That is one thing I thought last time we went to the WDW, that I would have preferred less events and more unstructured time.

I think we will solve the problem with Universal, of letting people who WANT to go, go and those those who don't, stay behind. It may mean my husband will go and I have a day with the kids. If my oldest wanted to go, I would do it, but she doesn't care. I can feel the peer pressure though.

This is a good example of wanting to be a people pleaser. My advice, DON'T DO IT! SPEAK UP AND BE UNDERSTOOD!!!

People will understand, and if they don't.. TOO BAD SO SAD!

This really applies to wide range of things, not just the monetary. Treat this as a chance to build character and break free of other peoples expectations.

I honestly can't remember the fireworks schedule as pertains to the Halloween party. But if they have fireworks before the party starts, just know that you could still see them (since you can enter as early as 4PM). I just can't see myself paying twice to be in the parks for the same day. If you do the party on an "off" day, that's the same difference (to me). Relax in the morning, go to the pool, maybe a character breakfast/lunch, whatever. Take a nap, get your costumes on, and head to MK anytime after 4 (actually, you can start heading there anytime around 3:30, it'll probably take at least 30 minutes to get there from wherever you're staying at).

And generally, I really do agree with the whole "don't let others pressure you too much and ruin your vacation"...but someone else is footing a lot of the bill, so I'd check with him first. It would be a bit selfish to just do your own thing the entire time. Personally, I think it'd be fine to schedule at least half the time with the family (sticking together the entire day, same parks, same restaurants, etc.) and do your own thing the other half (let them to go universal while you stay behind, let them do the parks while you go to the pool, etc.). I'd probably try to go to the Halloween Party with the rest of them.

But, that's just me. I don't go on vacation with extended family that often, bit of a hassle to try to make everyone happy. But the few times we have, it was worth it.

We've been to Disney World 3 times. I would say use the fast passes and stay in a hotel inside Disney. All 3 times we had to "make the most of it." The last visit was probably the best because we took some time to stop and smell the roses. I think a down time day is a great idea. Rembmer too it's not about how many of the parks you visit or how many rides/attractions you are able to cram in. It really should be about making great memories and having fun together. Bottm line it's your vacation and you don't have to please your extended family. Have fun!

Well in general, I am an overplanner. The last time we went (same group of people) I was the one who made the itinerary (which parks) and also made the reservations for the group meals. For this trip I've scheduled 3 group meals including 2 character meals, and a tenative itinerary. We are also driving down with most of the people so we will have together time there.
Sorry if I sounded like a naysayer. When we went last time I really enjoyed it, the only downside is that my husband came to the vacation with a very anti-disney attitude (feels its a vast money making scheme), also our 2 year old at the time had a cold and was misreable, especially during travel. But our youngest just turned 6, great ages for them to enjoy everything, and husband is on-board. I was hoping to go to WDW 1 more time before kids got too old, so I'm glad we are getting this opportunity.

Having been to all the Orlando Disney and Universal parks more times than I can remember, you and your kids will likely need a rest day. And I'll guess so will grandma and grandpa, and perhaps some others in your group.

As you spend time in the parts you'll see kids having meltdowns - the heat, long lines, and full days take a toll - a good time to point that out to others in your group.

Hydrate and wear sunscreen. Florida can be very warm in Oct.

Well talked more. People are OK with us not going to Universal, which is good since it is almost 100 a person for tickets! Group did thumbs down on park hopper. Downside we have less flexibility, but upside it does make everything more simpler planning and get-togethers to stick to 1 park per day.

Rest of group going to do Mickey's party. Downside is an extra money. upside means we will see Magic Kingdom 2 times during trip (go to party on different day visiting MK). Also since party will be same day others go to Universal, we can sleep in, relax, swim, go out to eat, and then feel more rested to do an evening there.