Bichon Frise wrote:
I think it is easy to sit up on the hill and command those in the trenches.
Being in the trenches, is a very different thing.
...most people will flame me on is being an enabler. But, some people don't learn as quickly as others.
No flames from me, just a comment...
I think the brother here HAS learned an important lesson. He has learned that he does not have to be responsible or work for anything because there is no real penalty for NOT doing so. Family support will continue to reinforce that message. He has learned who in the family he can milk.
I've also been in the trenches. The requests never end until you stop giving. Then they somehow find a way. In my case the deadbeats (and yest there were 2) figured out that they had to get a job if they were going to eat and buy beer. And you know what, after several months of not being able to find the right job, they found them very quickly when the handouts ran out.
This guy is not in dire straits because he worked hard and got laid off because of the economy or whatever. This guy is LAZY. He is choosing not to work and needs to understand the consequences of his life choice. Plenty of people choose to be a free spirit, move far from home to make it on their own, or whatever. But those people then accept a lifestyle then can afford consistent with their decisions. This guy wants to do something he clearly can't afford.
Now, one thing that crossed my mind when I read the original post is that I really think there are drugs or something involved here. It's REALLY hard to blow $6500 in a month otherwise if you are traveling across the country. And he ran out after just 2 weeks and wanted the first $500. At $100 a night for hotels he needed $1400 by then. Let's add another $50 a day for food and we get $2100. Miami to Seattl is 3000 miles. Let's say he only gets 10 mpg and pays $4 a gallon. That's another $1200 for a total of $3300. Where in the heck did the other $178 a DAY go after he paid for this luxury vacation? OP, I might be completely off base here but if you have ANY reason to suspect drugs or some other addiction then you better investigate this further.
In any event, regardless of the circumstances, if you decide to give this loser another dime then you better be smart enough to demand a receipt for every penny he spends. And, as much of a hassle it would be for you, don't give him any more than you can document he needs for the next day or two and send him only that. If you are going to fund his life you have every right to know every detail.