Just like the song, there will be trouble either way.

The situation:
I've been at my current mid-level clerical job for four years now. I have never been a good fit in the department, though I was promoted once in my first year. I have been given a hard time about my communication style and my level of emotion several times. A year and a half ago, I was given final written warning. I didn't know what else to do, so I stuck it out. Six months later the department (well-earned) golden girl was promoted. I was asked to step up to the plate and take on some of her former responsibilities. I was told this was the road to promotion.

One year later, I still have no promotion. I've also been told no more overtime. Whenever there is a complaint about me, I am taken to task and old issues are thrown in my face. Whenever I claim I am too busy and can't handle the stress, I'm told that's just the way it is. I am very unhappy here and am regularly in tears about my abusive boss and the unfairness of this situation.

I am not interested in another office job. I have proved over the last 10 years that I just don’t have the temperament for it. I feel trapped by my job and my house. I just don’t want to be here. I'm afraid if I try to stay until the market improves I will be fired and unable to make house payments.

The solution that wasn't:
I have some equity in my house. I originally wanted to sell my house and buy a house in Jacksonville, closer to my father and sister. Originally, I thought there would have been enough equity for me to get a better house, and have 25K left over to live off of while I build my craft business. Then, the market got rough. Now, that plan is no longer viable.

The solution?
What I want to do now is sell the house for whatever I can get, and rent a room in a house in Jacksonville. This would leave me about three years living expenses in the bank, and keep my living expenses low. My family is fighting me on this. (It's a little complicated because my mother lives with me and I have a large dog and a cat.) I know that it is a dangerous idea. I know that I could end up with nothing. But I could also end up exactly where I want to be.

Other info:
I'm 32, have no debt other than the house, am very careful with money, have a 403b through work and an IRA that I rolled from my old 401k. I also have a three to four month emergency fund at current expense levels.

Input?

Firstly, I would advise patience. From the sounds of it you've got your finances straight and I although your career clearly needs a change of course we don't want to put the ship into treacherous waters. So, I think it's best to chart the course before deviating from it. You had a good plan but conditions changed, so it's time to chart a new course. The good news is, I think planning and charting your career path - especially when you're making a switch is a fun and exciting process. So lets try and get the ball rolling to help you move on into better waters.

Firstly, what do you like to do for fun? What are you strengths? What do you like about the job you have right now?

I'd also like to recommend a book, it's called Do What You Are and it's about finding a career you'll enjoy based on your personality. It might be worth checking out to give you some insight into the type of work you'd like to do.

I think these questions are the most important, and depending on what your financial obligations and goals are you'll need to make some decisions about what you want to do down the road but for now, focus on what the possibilities are so that you can generate some excitement about the process rather then worrying about your current job. It's much easier to go into a job you don't like knowing that you've got plans for bigger and better things in the works.

Not to sound like a petulant child, but I have been patient for a year and a half, while fixing up my house then working on my craft business. The patience is pretty much dead. It's all I can do to keep myself from walking out, every day, five or six times.


I read, craft, and watch DVD's of geek TV for fun. I've just started a line of screen printed work friendly recycled shirts, and I make jewelry from vintage beads and found objects, though not at the same time . I also enjoy teaching elementary age kids to read. In regards to my current position, I am very detail oriented and am very good at finding deviations from proper procedure (mistakes,) but I don't really enjoy this. It's irritating that people never learn and I have to keep bringing the same things up over and over. The only things I like about my current job are the stable income and the benefits (403b and health insurance.) Oh, and it is very close to home. I find it more and more distracting to work with others chatting and interrupting me all day. I think I would do better with a more isolated job.

I'll look into finding that book at my local library. I think I know what I want to do, but a little insight from the professionals is always a good thing.

I don't really have any financial obligations, if I sell the house. My main goal at the moment is to do something for a living that doesn't cause suicidal tendencies. As I said before the patience has worn out. Planning and hoping can only keep me stable for so long, and that time has passed.

Thanks for the input and the book tip. I will find the book and take a look to see what else I could do, with a more standard job.

Ok, quit on Monday and look for part time work after your two weeks are up. Any work at all, retail, fast food anything so you can get a bit of income to stretch your emergency fund out longer. Use the free time you have once you're done with the job to aggressively plan for your next job and to build your business. I say this assuming you live in a relatively big city where you can find work, if you're in a rural community then you'll have to debate how feasible it is to get a new job. From the way you describe your work it sound soul destroying, and that's a price far to high to pay.

Quit, don't give them two weeks unless it's in your contract.

I wouldn't do that...you've been there for four years and it would be a huge gap in your resume if you can't get a reference

It doesn't sound like she'd get much of a reference from her abusive boss anyway. If they ask for a reference, just say you quit due to an abusive situation and you felt out of place in the work environment. Since you will most likely be finding work in an area completely different than your previous job, a reference there is not necessary.

Seriously, if your workplace/boss are abusing or exploiting you, you don't owe them two more weeks of hell just to get a crappy reference. Your skills, personality, and work ethic are what define you as a potential employee, any employer worth working for will recognize that.

I would not recommend ever telling an employer that in an interview, because negative comments about a previous employer.

http://jobsearch.about.com/od/interview ... wleave.htm



I always give two weeks even when my employer doesn't deserve it, because I know that the person they're going to dump my work on doesn't deserve it either. I like to give them an opportunity to find a replacement and often I find new job leads from co-workers who want to see me do well and consolidate my contact with them. Mostly though, I see it as a matter of honor as well, so I can show my future employers that I didn't leave the other company high and dry when I left. Two weeks to tie up some loose ends is a small price to pay for the personal satisfaction that I receive knowing I left on my own terms, in my own way.

Indeed. Always be as positive as possible in an interview. Anything you say about your former employer is something your interviewers will imagine you saying about them.

mallow...
the last two post pretty much sum up what I was going for. My point in suggesting to give two weeks was simply because if she just walks, then she is not a re-hireable employee at a place she worked at for four years. Now some companies and some states for that matter have policy/laws regarding disclosure of information about former employees, and while her company may fall under one that 'cannot release re-hire info' on previous emplyees, there are very simple ways to get around that...'We would be more inclined to seek other applicants" is a common way of saying someone is not rehireable without actually saying "no" when asked.

ok, maybe I should rephrase. Leave ASAP. Tell/write to your boss/HR and tell them you are resigning for so and so reasons. Don't give the arbitrary timeframe of two weeks, just let them know that you'll finish anything that's in flight, you'll train someone or write up instructions, be available by phone, etc. But it usually isn't necessary for someone in a clerical position in an office to stay two weeks for no real good reason.

Did anyone train you to do your current job? You were promoted into your current position, did someone take your old position? You know how your company is structured, just because you leave doesn't mean you are necessarily screwing them.

I've interviewed a few people who told us their current employer didn't have a clue, I didn't think any worse of them since they're just being honest and it sometimes shows that they DO have a clue. I guess I'm lucky because I work for a company who doesn't really care about that usual corporate BS. If I were hiring someone, I'd look for how down to earth, honest, and skilled they are, not how unequivocally positive they are. Different companies and people look for different things.

i can relate with you here. i suppose you are in some kind of internal auditing/analyst job? me, too. yeah, people can be very defensive and egoistic. yet, the findings that you get each time you review their job is the same. each time. and when you point it out, they burst. tsk tsk.

i've also been in the situation where i am simply terrified of my boss. when i see her coming to my direction, my heart hammers in chest and it was a terrible feeling. one sunday she asked me to work, i got fed up and wrote my resignation letter effective 3 days after. i worked for Philippine affiliate of Earnst & Young.

All i can say is if the job is no longer allowing you to grow because of anything (in my case, it was fear), then go. but do it professionally. Give them the number of days work ethics require (2 weeks or something), turnover stuff and work but be sure to have it in writing, in case your boss will decide to get back at you and hold the release of your clearance because of a missing....eerrr....stapler?

Thanks for all the comments! For some reason I quit getting the notifications, so I didn't realize that people were still responding.

I don't think I could ever leave my current job with less than two weeks notice. My co-workers deserve that, even if my boss doesn't.

No matter how I leave, I will be able to get a verification of employment through HR. I would never have anyone call my current boss directly. He doesn't respect or trust me, and I don't want that being passed on.

My real concern was really more: how insane is it for me to live off the profit from selling my house while I find my way in a new field?

I want to escape this situation, and never end up in another one like it. The only way I can think to do that is to work for myself. (Another office job, even if it is a better fit, still sounds stifling to me.) The only way I can think of to support myself as I grow my business is to sell my house and live off the profit.

I'm afraid that the business wouldn't work out and at the end of two or three years I would have nothing...

Ideas?[/code]

Wow, being honest here, but I see a lot of really bad advice. Welcome to the internet. (I reserve the right for this to be bad advice as well, but what the heck.)

Glad to read you aren't going to quit without a two week notice. That's ludicrous. The people who are behind that idea -- have you ever quit a job? That's just not the way to do it. Completely unprofessional. Again, glad to see you're not doing it. In many situations when you turn in a two week notice, they'll tell you to go ahead and go, or your last two weeks are relatively easy as you wrap things up.

A.) You need to look at the big picture. Your family is trying to be the voice of reason. Quitting your job with nothing else lined up, in the middle of a bad housing market and a recession, is probably the worst idea I've read since the mortgage bailout. You have no idea how long it would take to get your business to the point of making a profit, you have no idea what your house would sell for (or if it would sell), and you shouldn't assume that every office environment sucks.

B.) Again, not every corporate job out there sucks. That's just silly. If you have marketable skills, go find another job first, then jump ship properly. If the new job is just like the old one, wait a while, then move again. During this entire time, devote your spare time to building up the craft business. Again, entrepreneurs generally think like this: I have a great idea, so let's risk it all. That sounds like your above position. I would never recommend that.

Just think how awesome it would be to build up a solid business for yourself while you grit your teeth at work. Then you leave to a full time job -- except you are the boss.

I think it was Charles Swindoll that said, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

Yes, work sucks. Suck it up while you build your business. Up and leaving without a plan is financial suicide.

My two cents...

kmull: i do get your point. being financially careful is what made me a home owner at 25 and put me in a position to have $60-70K in equity by 32. it's just not working for me anymore. it's not just the office work; it's the environment, the types of people there, the lack of creativity, the fixed hours never based on work volume.

i get that this could be horribly dangerous, but what other options do you see?

i've done many office jobs, and found them all boring or seriously irritating by turns. i'm looking for alternatives. i don't care what they are. i don't care how it looks. i just need a different life. what is the point of keeping a house, if i just feel like it's pulling me down? what is the point of living this life, if all i do is wish i was somewhere else?

the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

maybe what i need is a non-standard life. one without home ownership. one with flexibility. i'm just trying to figure out how to get one, before I go crazy.