Eagle wrote:I'm not sure I appreciate the tone of this message but I will try to respond in cordial manner addressing the issue at hand. Usually I agree with your logic doinghomework. In fact from what I’ve read you, doinghomework, are one of the better minds on these forums. Not sure if this was just a bad day or what.
Both Financial Peace and Crown Financial have helped lots of people get out of debt. I know this from personal experience. I used Financial Peace to help me better understand budgeting, reduce my debt with the “debt snowball strategy”, and having the freedom to live debt free. I went from being thousands of dollars in debt to being debt free. So it is a valid system. Just not for everyone. I just mentioned Crown Financial because I'd heard of it before. Please specify which program you have used or recommend.
I'm looking for constructive feedback not a beat down. Nor am I interested in a debate about religion.
We may agree to disagree on religion. My roommate in college and I disagreed on many issues but we still got along. People do every day. Different isn't always better or worse. It is just different. The topic of this thread is what to do with a financially strapped person you care for.
I appreciate that you think I generally make helpful postings here. I have enjoyed most of your postings as well Mr. Eagle and I think you give good advice overall. I truly believe that you should practice whatever religious beliefs you want but if you want to bring them in to the finance arena then you ought to think more critically first.
If you want to profess your faith here then I will ignore your postings since I am neither a moderator nor the owner of this board. Whether they choose to allow that is up to them. But as long as this is a finance forum, I am going to promote what I think is sound thinking about finances. And if someone mentions a company that I believe is not giving sound advice, I'm going to pint that out.
When you start suggesting that some firm that uses the financial distress of others to promote a religious agenda is somehow a solution, you have crossed a line in my opinion. Those firms are not helping people like your friend. If you don't understand that then you have more learning ahead of you. And, while Dave Ramsey's top-level advice to get out of debt may be positive, his method (snowball) unarguably costs people extra money, and his promotion of his product (which he charges for) at churches is highly suspect. If such a product were promoted at Mensa conventions or other places where people think critically without the influence of religion they'd be unsuccessful. I think he knows that. So yes, I have it in for firms like Dave Ramsey and Crown Financial that take advantage of people because (in my opinion) there brains function less well than others. The shell out money they can't afford for advice they could get for free simply because it comes at a church they've been brainwashed to believe.
I don't care to debate you about religion. It would be fruitless. I think rationally and could never believe in an invisible man up there. I don't believe in anything without evidence that I can personally reproduce. You apparently do. It would be logically impossible for me to prove the nonexistence of a god and you would ultimately have to declare a reliance on faith to justify your beliefs.
If you want to believe in gods or lake spirits or whatever then that is your choice and I really don't care. But please recognize that people like DR seem to target religious people because they don't think rationally. How else could he convince someone to spend money on an approach that is freely available online or elsewhere and then make a little modification that appeals to minds that don't think, that paying extra interest is somehow helpful. And if that is not enough he goes on to give information that is either a lie of so terribly ignorant that it is potentially damaging.
DoingHomework wrote: Your friend is a deadbeat.
Eagle wrote:Once again this is not a helpful paragraph. I know my friend made mistakes. But he is not a looser. He made over 100k a year at a fortune 500 company and worked there for almost 20 years. Understand that his wife was just as much to blame as he was. Maybe even more so. It takes two to tango. She spent both his and her paychecks, she lived beyond their means to impress family/friends, she tried to control all aspects of his life (she handled the finances), maxed out the credit cards in his name while maintaining her credit cards with no balances, and she ended up cleaning out what was left of their mutual savings accounts.
As to the reason why he tried to reduce his child support. is his wife made over 100k a year as well. He was living off of 25k a year. Yet she was receiving $700 a month of his $1500 paycheck. Do the math. He couldn’t even support himself with basic necessities. She had the house he paid for. He gave it up for his little girl to have a good home to grow up in. Plus he got stuck with all the credit card debt which she charged. I hope that sheds some light on the matter.
Suggestions: I’ve suggested he declare bankruptcy now that his daughter is full grown and has a full athletic scholarship to a great university. As I understand it he would need to have about $1500-2000 to get a lawyer to process the bankruptcy.
Anyone else have other suggestion and/or constructive feedback?
I don't know the details of the situation so I will not comment further except to say that, regardless of the history, how could a guy try to not pay his child support. The amount was determined by some judge that looked at all the facts. He had the ability to pay then screwed it up with his own behavior. Let me guess, now he has joined your church hoping for help. Sounds like a manipulator to me.
Eagle, I have nothing against you. I think you have made great posts for the most part. It sounds like you've also come to the same general conclusion that your friend is not worth the effort. And your religion is none of my business. But if you choose to bring it into a finance discussion then I hope you are prepared to justify your statements in some rational way that stands up to analysis.