I wouldn't marry someone who doesn't share the same long-term vision. Values is a little harder to pin down, since a lot of PF comes into play as you gain sophistication and SKILLS and awareness.
Our story is a lot like Sam's. I've always been a saver, started retirement investing at 24 with $50 a month, always managed my money reasonably well. I did use a credit card, and in my 20's and 30's I did typically carry small balances, because I refused to NOT save, and I wasn't tracking my spending as carefully as I should. So I made small mistakes, but did a lot of things right.
DH balanced his accounts by looking at his ATM receipts.
He never would have started retirement savings in his 30's if I hadn't managed it, set up accounts, and transferred funds.
We maintain both joint and separate accounts, mainly because I like the credit union close to work, and he likes a Big Bank with lots of ATM access across the state.
We sit down and talk about goals, plans, priorities. Last night, in fact, we discussed whether a concrete project should be done on a smaller scale or a larger scale, discussed hiring a contractor for replacing a small deck, discusses a slow down in his work, and how he should feel free to use our EF if he needs to.
This has EVOLVED. Early on, many would have said we were not a good financial fit, since I care and he doesn't.
What has worked for us is to agree on the big things, and then I find a way to transmute small actions into larger goals. For some couples, there might be resentment at one person taking on the "heavy lifting" as Sam termed it. For me, I'm GRATEFUL to be allowed to manage the funds in a way that makes my personal insecurities feel less insecure.
We bought a house that was less than we were told we could "afford." We paid cash for all large improvements, doing a lot of DIY work in the early years. Now, we do one major project on the house per year, and pay cash. We put 30%+ down on cars, and drive them for 120K miles and/or 10 years. We don't shop recreationally. We bought our own business to diversify income streams.
So keep in mind - this is a process. What would be the key to me - how willing is your guy to be flexible, open and honest, and set aside funds for savings if you ask it of him? If not, then that's an issue. If it's a matter of ignorance and unsophistication, that can be overcome.