I'm contemplating what to do about the current situation I'm in with one of my co-workers.

I have worked for my current employer for about 5.5 years, and about 2 years ago I came to the accounting. Since then I have had a co-worker who makes this pretty miserable for me.

Since I came to accounting I have constantly had to deal with her negative attitude and at this point I’ve had enough. Every day it’s complaint after complaint with comments like “I should write this f’er up” or “They need to fire this a-hole.” I have shrugged things off in the past, but I’ve decided I no longer have to put up with it.

I have been reluctant in the past to bring things up and have just brushed them off due to not having a supervisor in the office with us. Our supervisor works in a different section of the property and can be reached by phone or email if we have an issue. I have no issue working without supervision but I’ve been afraid to report anything because I don’t want to have to deal with her retaliatory actions or comments because she would know the source. For example, she recently got a review and some issues were brought up about her work performance. She spent a considerable amount of time grilling me about this even though it had nothing to do with me, as I have shrugged things off in the past. This is not something she should be trying to get out of a fellow employee.

I also have dealt on numerous occasions with racist comments about ‘those f’ing blacks’ when she talks about having to go down to the Social Security office with her daughter. This was particularly prevalent around the time of the election. I did speak up and say I didn’t care for that kind of talk, but she has repeated similar things since.

She’ll complain about me saying I don’t carry my work load, which is pretty rude considering there have been numerous occasions that she has fallen asleep on the job. I could honestly care less who does what part of our workload as long as the job gets done. I’ve always felt that way.

She'll gripe about me not carrying my workload but she'll spend half the day emailing .jpg's and taking/receiving personal phone calls or gossiping. She also curses every time the phone rings. I don't have any issue finishing my work by myself and often times she 'just doesn't have time' to finish hers and leaves it for other people to finish when she's not there.

There’s also the constant “joking” with certain male employees. Again, I generally shrug things off but it has hit a level that it makes me feel uncomfortable. And from what I can tell it looks like some of those involved aren’t comfortable with the things she says. This is particularly bad with a select few.

I had several weeks where she was out on medical and there was peace and I didn’t have to deal with the constant negativity. In fact, it was nice for a while to not mind coming to work. As she has come back, I’ve started to dread coming to work the days we are scheduled together because her attitude is that poor. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way in our office.

During my review my supervisor told me to try to work on my relationship with my co-workers, mostly referring to how I interact with her. I have tried to keep an open mind, but she is still constantly rude and does things I find offensive. For example, recently our day was running behind and when I tried to help her with her work she started cursing and saying I didn’t “know how to do my f’ing job” and a list of other things. This is typical. She will complain that I won’t try to help or if I do try to help she will get pissed off about it and then, at times, literally throw the paperwork at me and say “I quit, it’s your f’ing problem!”

So do I just take this to my supervisor, straight to HR, or how should I deal with this problem? I have 3 weeks until I'm on vacation for a few weeks so I'll be away to cool down from it but should I take things higher once I get back? I'm curious as to what the best approach to this is.

She's in her early 60's, has a disabled daughter and two grandchildren living with her that have their own issues. One is autistic. I know if I speak up that's it for her, forced retirement and that's where I'm having the issue. But with each passing day I think someone needs to give her a bit of a wake up call. This behavior is unacceptable.

Her jacked up family problems are not your problems at work. Gather some proof & report her.

Yes, you're right… she needs a wake up call. I can understand that she has problems… but then who doesn't have problems in life? But in order to be a true professional, one shouldn't mix family and work. Work tensions should be left at office and home problems at home! I feel that you have tolerated a lot and now it's time for her to pay back for her deeds. It will be better if you get in touch with your supervisor in this regard and discuss the matter in detail once you come back from your vacation.

i agree with jerry, one should not mix home and work problems. when you're having a bad day at work, you should not bring it home with you. and vice versa. this coworker you have should be reviewed by your superiors.