I'm sure there are a million of them out there but... can any of you guys recommend any books on conquering anxiety and / or having a more positive outlook on things in general? Anxiety is by far my biggest character flaw and up untill this point in my life I just haven't done much to get over it. I'm aware of my tendency to always worry (excessively) about the worst case scencario. I'm starting to see that for the roadblock to happiness that it really is. I believe in the power of positivity, I'm just not as positive a person as I wish I was. I would really like to start improving myself in this regard. I'm just afraid of wasting my money on books that are just going to blow a bunch of sunshine up my a$$.

any recommendations for books that have had an impact on any of you guys? It is much appreciated.

Wooley, fantastic question. I actually struggle with anxiety issues, too. Fortunately, it's easy to hide them on the internet. I just need bursts of productivity and confidence, you know? The rest of the time I can be a nervous wreck and nobody knows it.

Do you read the blog side of GRS? I'm about 50% done with a post entitled "How to Build Confidence and Destroy Fear". It will address some of these issues.

In that post, I mention that one of my favorite books on this subject is "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Your public library will have a copy. I read it two or three years ago when I was going through a particularly rough patch. It really helped. It's based on cognitive-behavioral psychology. Basically, Burns' advice is to actually do things. I've found this really helps. That's a vast oversimplification, of course, and I recommend you give the book a read yourself to learn if it can help you.

Feeling Good is recommended a lot. It's typically considered the class CBT book.

Not that I'm anxious. Or that I know about books about that sort of thing.

I'm not anxious.

Well, not about this post.

Not till now.

Hang on. Maybe I should just leave now.

JD, thanks much, I will be sure to look into that.

I too have become pretty good at 'faking it'. Very people I associate would have any clue as to the amount of time I spend feeling overly anxious. I feel as though I have finally reached a point where I'm sick of hiding it. I need to face it head on and I have become a real believer in the simple power of books. So many people have been there before and I just want to learn from them so that I may start to feel happier on a more consistent basis.

I am so glad I found this forum, so far everyone has been wonderfully helpful.

Thanks again.

***edit

JD- could you link me to that blog post you mentioned? I have not familiarized myself with the blog section of GRS and am having trouble finding it...

Hi, Wooley.

I haven't posted the blog entry yet. I'm still writing it. When I finish it, I'll post in this thread as a follow-up.

Oh I see.. well thanks again

Wooleybooley, have you considered taking the book out of the library? Or buying it used? It's such a popular book that I'm sure you could find it easily. You could also post on Freecycle.

Im not familiar with freecycle, ill have to look into it. As per the library idea, not a bad one either, I'll check it out (pun intended)

I think it's freecycle.org. People give away stuff. You can say you're looking for this book.

Wooley, here's a post I wrote on a similar theme last spring:

The Power of Yes: A Simple Way to Get More Out of Life

It's not completely related to your question, but it's worth reading.

There is not one book I can recommend but I did sign up for Cybernation about 7 years ago and love it! It's a free service that sends you an inspirational quote each day via e-mail. I keep them in a special folder and re-read them as needed

If you are interested you can sign up here
http://www.cybernation.com/quotationcenter/quoteadd.php

I have heard good things about "Calming Your Anxious Mind." It's a mindfulness meditation deal, based on Kabat-Zinn's work.

Meditation isn't for everyone, but it does work for many people. (My woo tolerance is very, very low -- I'm an atheist and a strict materialist and a lot of new age stuff infuriates me. I still like Kabat-Zinn. Your mileage may vary.)

Funny to see this, as I was thinking over the weekend that if I lost all self-doubt and anxiety that I fear I might disappear. Fear and self-doubt seem to be the core of my being these days.

The most powerful book that really changed my outlook was one by motivational speaker Brian Tracy. This is a book from early 90s. It helped me set out to focus on what I wanted and make it happen. I've just not done the work to keep it up, so self-doubt has crept back into my life.

I also recommend Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. This book helps the reader understand how your reactions to your environment create you, but you can learn new reactions. Unless you are super-interested in human biology, you really only need to read the first few pages of each chapter. (Goleman is a scientist, and goes into great detail about how nerves and chemical reactions and organs you never knew you had create chain reactions.)

I actually think a certain degree of self-doubt is healthy and something to cultivate. It's probably not an overstatement to say that most of the world's problems have been caused by people (mostly men, and mostly men in power) who had too much self-confidence and didn't question their decisions or actions.

It's a fine line, of course. Endless anxiety, fear, and self-doubt are debilitating, but sometimes I think it's okay to wallow in that stuff for a while instead of fighting it. I suffer occasionally (and unpredictably) from performance anxiety, and because I'm a musician who performs I wanted to learn about ways to control it. One of the most useful books I found, recommended to me by one of my teachers, was "A Soprano on Her Head," by Eloise Ristad. I think it's out of print now, but you might be able to find it in a library. Paradoxically, a key element of her approach is to fight stage fright by trying to make it worse. If your hands are shaking, instead of trying to hide it or stop it, try to make them shake harder. She advocates trying to see how far you can take your fear, because then you know its limit and it's no longer an unknown territory.

I wonder if this same kind of technique can work for other kinds of anxiety and self-doubt. I know that when I try to fight my way out of an emotional trap, the jaws usually tighten around me and it's worse. Instead if I allow myself to hang out in that "space" (to use a pop-psychology term) for a while and indulge in whatever it is -- grief, worry, self-doubt, whatever-- and not stress about getting out, the door eventually opens and out I go.

there are a good amount of resources you could probably read online for free