I had my reply all typed, but the computer erased it (maybe not a bad thing lol) so here goes my second try.
I disagree with you completely. There is a mindset from some people to think that Child Pornography is 'just pictures' and 'no real harm' was done. I don't see it like that. Those pictures represent someone's child, someone's baby. Those children are loved by someone as strongly as I love my own children. To find pleasure and sexual gratification in their abuse and fright is about as sickening a thing as I can think of. Furthermore, if only one image 'solved' the problem, they would only have one image. But many collectors of kp are collecting multiple images. There is a constant demand for new images of children. Downloading images contributes to the demand for new ones. And there is no proof that he did not hurt any children (including mine). We have his word and no evidence that he did. Considering the fact that he babysat my kids (including my oldest who is disabled and cannot talk), that is poor comfort.
Comparing child pornography to adult rape videos is not a fair comparison. Most rape videos are staged. Those that aren't are disgusting as well, but in a different category that rape of someone who is vulnerable. And yes, I would shun a guy who got off on an actual rape video. I have many friends who enjoy different fetishes and I really don't care what they do in their personal life.
I understand that he can't help his attraction. However, he is an adult (43 yrs old) and knows better. And he's not blaming 'himself'. He's blaming an inattentive wife, drug and alcohol use, etc.
I don't want my husband around him period. And I plan to do everything I can do to break up their friendship. He is a threat to my family and I don't tolerate threats to my children's well-being (which includes more than just their safety). However, I currently tolerate my husband's efforts to remain friends with him and that includes visiting him, putting small amounts of money in his commissary account, sending him phone cards. It does not include offering a place to stay, paying for his attorney or sending large amounts of money.
He is a horrible criminal who has committed a horrible crime. I compare this to a divorce situation. We had a great time with him, but he's changed and things are different now. My biggest wish is that he will go far, far away for a long, long time.
He only feels bad about being caught and that his wife might divorce him (and thankfully it looks like she will, possibly because she found out about his girlfriend).
But also the guy who apparently has had ample opportunity to do something to your daughter, but choose not to.
Really? I should be grateful towards him that he chose not to rape my kids? He deserves my support because he decided to look at other innocent children naked but not my own? Children should NEVER have to worry about their safety from an adult.