Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Anything goes. But keep it civil, please.

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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Postby Eagle » Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:44 pm

This is a great joke I found... With just a hint of truth to be funny. ;)


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressives, and Marxists, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

P.S. If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them.
~ Eagle

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Re: Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Postby VinTek » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:44 pm


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Re: Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Postby LeRainDrop » Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:03 pm

Well, Obama really DID misrepresent the job statistics! ... itics.html

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Re: Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Postby VinTek » Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:28 pm

LeRainDrop wrote:Well, Obama really DID misrepresent the job statistics! ... itics.html

The cartoon was actually in response to conservative allegations about the September jobs report. Also, mentioning the loss of government jobs actually works in Obama's favor. If it weren't for that, the job gains would be much higher. Funny thing, that. When it was pointed out that the unemployment rate would be much lower if it weren't for the government job losses, Eagle wanted to see the source data. When he was told where to get it, he "lost interest" in the thread.

Bichon Frise
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Re: Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives...

Postby Bichon Frise » Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:26 pm

What surprises me is this forum allows political discussion to the degree of "slinging mud". Politics isn't what brought us here, but it surely will divide us.

I get politics are ingrained in the personal finance world, and discussing those topics seems to beneficial to a point. E.g. 2013 tax changes. But, there is nothing to be gained when one tries to convince another their way is correct. Perhaps some will claim victory if another scurries away, but surely, as people who enjoy personal finance, I only can fathom the opposite of victory for everyone.

My 2 cents. Take it or leave it. I tend to stay away from religious/political discussion on here and the internet in general. But, I hate to see someone be chased away for, as in the case of this board, being in the minority.
Bichon Frise

"If you only have 1 year to live, move to it will seem like an eternity."

avocado wrote:Good to see you back, I was starting to miss your incisive commentary!

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