Beginning earlier this month my wife and I decided to step up our debt elimination plan by asking our teenage sons and daughter to contribute by working jobs, etc. My two teen sons (13 & 14) started a neighborhood trash carry-out service, or teen daughter got a part-time job and my wife and I started working extra hours at work in addition to a part-time weekend job that my wife got.

I recently had some relatives over for dinner and they both gave us a real tongue lashing for doing this.

What do you think?

I'm of two minds about this. The kids didn't take on the debt, so it's not really fair for them to have to contribute to eliminating it. However, I also believe that getting a job is good for kids. I think a better way to handle this might be to let them know that money for things like movies, cd's etc are going to have to come out of what they've earned. Keep in mind that kids already have a full-time job 9 months out of the year. They get to pay enough of "other people's debt" when the tax bill comes due.

I think your kids should use 1/3 for purchasing their own luxury items, 1/3 for college savings and 1/3 for their own savings. They shouldn't repay your debt, unless they ran off with your credit cards.

I generally think that all members of the household, including kids, should play some part in the family finances. If the kids' expenses contributed to the family debt, an expensive sport or hobby, I think it makes more sense for kids to participate in paying off the debt. On the other hand if mom or dad created the debt with their own expensive hobbby then I don't think the kids should be required to help out. Kids could help out with debt repayment by using their own money to fund their activities or to cover the cost of clothes/etc. In that way the kids are helping cover their own costs which frees up more money for the parents to put towards debt.

What do the kids think? If they want to contribute to paying down the debt I think that's fine too.

I've heard of some systems for teaching kids money management that require the kid to hand over 10% of all earned income to the family in a form of tax and the rest of earned money is divided into 30% long term savings (college), 30% short term savings (a car or a new bike) and 20% spending money and 10% to charity of their choice. I guess if you used that system the tax could go towards household expenses including debt.

I think that's a lot of responsibility and worry to put on kids. IMO, parents should insulate their kids as much as possible from money problems so that the kids aren't constantly worrying about whether there'll be food on the table when they get home from school. That's not to say you shouldn't be teaching your kids about personal finance and set a good example for them, but a bit of opacity is a good thing when it comes to your own debt problems.

I agree with Sam. What do the kids think? Did they volunteer?

How much debt are we talking about here? It is never easy with an online forum to judge if this is a good idea or not. If them working is keeping you from being evicted... then so be it. If you have $5,000 in credit card debt (and that's it) and they didn't want to do it in the first place it might be a bit much.

i paid my own way in life since the age of 16. it kicks you in the *** and straightens out your priorities, that's for sure.

but i wouldn't recommend it. seriously, how much money can a kid make nowadays anyway? and how important is that vs them doing well in school and going to a good college someday- maybe on a scholarship?

if they're willing, then by all means. but please reward them somehow- a portion of their income for movie tickets or whatever they'd like to spend.

they've got the rest of their lives to work. i wished every day for a little more of my childhood back as i went to high school during the day and rushed off to work all night. you don't get too many years to be a kid.

I like this idea....

I also think teens generally should have part time jobs, unless they struggle too much in school to be able to handle it. I worked in high school, but with the understanding that school work was higher priority. And during sports, I didn't work very often, but I worked some.

[EDIT] It turns out jwthornhill was paying a tithe to his church, paying for gym membership, cell phone service, and at least some entertainment expenses while making a child go out in the middle of the freezing cold to collect garbage to pay HIS debt. Check his blog: http://needtobedebtfree.blogspot.com/.

I've never responded to posts that I've considered flamebait, and have always tried to maintain some decorum in my writings--with mixed success. I've never resorted to name calling or the use of insults or epithets without lengthy explanation, but I have to say, jwthornhill's post tests my self-control. Perhaps it's because of my own experiences when I was young that this strikes an emotional cord with me.

And so, since you came here asking for honest opinions, I'll give you mine. I find your idea thoroughly repugnant. But I want to stress that this opinion is partially based on the assumption that your debt has not been the result of excessive appeasement of your children's discretionary desires. Even if it were, even if, in the most generous case possible, you were doting but fiscally irresponsible parents who now realize that those earlier luxuries must be paid for with present hardship, your children were not told at the time of their requests that if those requests were granted, they would have to get a job to pay for them. Gifts for your children are a part of *your* finances, which are *your* responsibility and *you* have to take responsibility for them.

If you are in debt and are able to pay your debts, then pay them. If you are in debt and can't pay your debts, then you'll have to declare bankruptcy. If you are not in debt and can't pay the bills, you'll need to find some way of increasing your income(s). And, of course, you'll want to reduce your spending. Those are, as far as I know, your only options.

Regardless of what you do, however, you have a (IANAL) legal responsibility to feed, clothe, and house your children. Many people would also say that you have a moral obligation to pay, as much as is reasonable and possible, for their medical and dental expenses. If you cannot afford to pay for these things, the government provides assistance programs to help you. If you still can't afford to pay for their basic needs, then you must accept the fact that you are unable to care for your children and--I believe this can be done with minors of any age, but I'm not positive--leave them in the care of others who can, through adoption or some other service. But, what you should not do, is require people who do not enjoy full legal rights as adults to pay for their own basic needs.

And what message are you giving your children? That if they ever spend too much, or are not making enough money, they can simply send their own kids out to work minimum wage instead of investing in their own futures? Teenagers ought to be focusing their efforts on developing a valuable skillset, and their parents ought to be doing everything they can to convince them of this fact. Contrary to popular belief, performing unskilled labor as a teenager does not make one more valuable. It does not build a "work ethic that will serve them throughout their lives," to use the kind of language my critics might use. After high school, I worked as a support cook in a dingy restaurant for much less than minimum wage. I'd put in 10 hour days some days. I was expected to arrive on time, every day. My hands would bleed by the end of the shift, but no matter how hard I tried, the boss was never satisfied. Then, as a result of a miraculous windfall, I was able to stop working and went to college, where I landed a white-collar job making ~50K a year. My boss tells me I can come into work whenever I feel it, as long as I work 40 hours a week and he's happy with my performance. He's always seemed to be happy with my performance. I will retire within ten years, and I have enough free time during my work day to write this post, for example. If you force your kids to work, you sacrifice their futures for your own financial gain. I can think of nothing more despicable.

I am assuming that you are living in the United States or some roughly equivalent developed nation. If you are not, then some or all of what I have written may not apply, and I'm sorry to criticise you.

My parents did that to me.

It was totally not ok. It was also involuntary, which might be why it was not ok.

If you end up going into bankruptcy anyway, it's especially not ok.

1. What do the kids think of it?
2. Are you making any provision for the future for them? My parents also did not contribute to my education, medical bills (when I was a minor), etc.

Their money would be so much better used in an IRA or their own savings account. Even if the problem with your debt is that you spent too much on the kids, it's not necessarily ok to blame them for it. In many cases, Very Expensive Children are that way because that's how their parents raised them to be.

I suppose I can see how the whole family-working-together might be a good thing. But only if the family keeps working together and the kids get something in the future to make up for paying for their parents mistakes, when it should be the other way around. Mine wasn't and isn't like that at all.

Or pay for yours.

It is actually MUCH harder to get children into a children's home or whatever than you might expect. I was on a waiting list for at least a year.

Did the kids know that their expenses were going to cost them? Or were they like a young friend of mine, whose parents are clearly vicariously living through her lessons and who like the cachet of having a kid who excels?

A lot of these kids with expensive hobbies would be just as happy with less expensive hobbies, if only they had the option.

The only reason I can see to ask your children to work is to save for college and to pay for luxury items and services. So, if you can't afford hockey or ballet and your kids *really* want to do those things, they can work to pay for it. If they *must* have iPods or fancy sneakers, they can work to pay for them. As for college, half-time jobs in the summers after 10th, 11th and 12th grades will pay for first year tuition at most state colleges or Canadian universities. If that's the only way for your kids to go to college, then working for that is not a bad thing. But children should not be forced to work. You can give them a choice.

But sending kids to work so you can pay for past mistakes or things you should have said "no" to? That's not good and borders on indenture.

I think there's a difference between letting your minor children work for *extras* that they (and not you) want, and making them work to pay off your debts. If you truly can't survive - and I don't mean avoid bankruptcy but keep housed and fed, then you it may well be necessary. We do not, I am thankful to say, live in Dickensian times in the Western world - even the US has some welfare state.

My kids did not have to contribute in any way growing up and I think they did arrive at adult hood fairly normal. That said my Grandson I help buy his car giving him $600 and loaning him $2000 and each month he pays back $200 and his Dad $100 toward the car .It is just about paid for. He goes to school full time and works about 25 hours a week in a grocery and loves his job. I could have given him the total amount but I want to help him understand the value of money.I will say getting a job has done wonders for his esteem and helped boost him in the direction of becoming an adult. Of course if he lost the job or couldn't pay I most likely would for give the debt . His father pays the insurance which is not cheap.
That said I don't feel young people should be having to help pay off family debt . But each family I suppose has to deal with this on its own.