we've been consumer debt free since Sept 08.
since then we did some renovation on the house,
saved 2 months worth of Emergency funds.
budgeted for more work to be done on the house (we've got the funds I need the time).,

3 months goals:
4 big items including saving for 1 month Emergency Fund before June which is when the occupant of the room with the touch of pink (which i haven't painted yet) down the hall makes her grand entrance i.e. my wife is bringing our baby girl home.

My wife and I are trained in the art of slushing debts ( I take the top and left , she got the bottom and right) the baby on the other hand has no training (we'll give her 4 years of 2 x 1 training) and from what I hear she will be demanding and wanting things not now but right now, and I feel like wifey and I disciplined enough to keep her happy with her demands without going back into debt, but I read someone here say that once you have kids there goes your debt free lifestyle , say it ain't so. because the ccc folks may have my pix somewhere as the guy who told them it was bad marketing move to try and sell protection to someone with a $0 balance and they should check my balance before they call me again.

Anyway please let me know what to expect

First of all, a BIG congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your little girl. Your life will never be the same. You DO NOT have to go into debt to have a baby. You can make do with what you have. Millions of children have been raised in small houses (and even huts if you get right down to it). So first and foremost, don't feel like you need to find a bigger place to live. Secondly, buy things used! It is amazing the glut of baby gear out there. Look on Craigslist under baby and kids to get an idea. Highchairs, cribs, strollers, exersaucers can all be bought secondhand for a fraction of the new price. Do buy the carseat new, though! If you are really wanting for funds, then the child can get away without a lot of the baby gear. Exersaucers really aren't necessary. A car seat can be used as a feeding place. You can be creative if you don't have the money. Baby clothes, while absolutely adorable, are outgrown quickly. You may find friends who give you their hand-me-downs. Take them! Plus you will most likely get a ton of baby gifts. If you receive a lot of smaller sizes, then return for bigger sizes - 6-9 months and bigger. Most babies are in newborn to 3-6 month clothes for a very short time. Scout out yard sales this summer. You will find much of what you need there. Check out kids consignment sales that are held in the spring and fall. They have a plethora of baby stuff.

Big expenses are diapers and formula. If your wife can nurse - great. That will cut down on that expense. I wasn't so successful at it and had to supplement big time with formula. We bought Parents' Choice brand at WalMart. Formula meets strict FDA guidelines so off-brands should be as good as name brands. I've heard Kirkland brand from Costo is good as well. I cloth diaper so while I had a big initial outlay, the diapers have paid for themselves hundreds of times over with 3 children. I know it's not for everyone, so if you go the disposable route, try store brand (which may not be as absorbant), work on collecting coupons, or shop at a warehouse store such as Costco or BJ's.

They do not need much in the way of entertainment. Sure as they grow, there are greater needs - preschool, dance, sports, etc. But you don't HAVE to do that stuff.

If your wife is going back to work then daycare will be a big chunk of an expense, but it is tax deductible. And don't forget the child tax credit you receive! Best of luck. I have a 7-year old, 3 1/2 year old, and 19-month old.

It depends on your income, your expenses and your lifestyle.

My husband and I have a comfortable household income. But we still strive to cut costs. We have two kids in the same bedroom. We live in a condo. We used cloth diapers. I did/do extended breastfeeding (which wasn't really about the money, but it sure is cheaper than formula). The kids each have one pair of shoes, sandals and boots. I don't buy a ton of stuff for them. I opt for low cost activities. I have a used crib and stroller and so on. We have one Civic with a roof carrier - not a minivan. My husband walks to work. I try to walk to activities with the kids, as it's healthy and saves on gas.

I also work from home. I could earn a substantial income if I returned to the f/t workforce in a company. However, I have instead built up my own business and I have virtually no child care. My take-home is thus similar to what I'd earn outside the home and I can grow my company even more as we go along. (It would be bigger than it is, but I was in a car accident.)

But it all depends on the decisions you make -- and the decisions you have available. If your income is $18k a year and you can't get even a 1BR basement suite for less than $1200 a month, you may indeed need to make some hard choices.

Congratulations!

I agree with the OPs, it really depends on you.

My husband and I worked f/t outside the home while our kids were little, and the cost of daycare was HUGE. I considered it an investment in our future income, as I have a lucrative job which could not be easily recreated. It's not for every family. It has caused us to spend a little more in services & items that give us more time with our kids, but that is negotiable.

Kids don't need a ton of toys or gear and when they do need it, it need not be brand new. Consignment shops, friends with slightly older kids, and yard sales are your friend. I had many baby items I was told were *absolutely necessary* by friends & family, but my kids didn't like them. The places where I did not skimp were a good carseat, safe cars and good shoes. (Dh's family has a history of fallen arches, and I wanted our kids to have a good start at proper development of feet.)

Kids are imaginative beings and they can amuse themselves with practically nothing. IMO the fewer blinking lights and loud noises from a toy the better. My kids have been playing with the same refrigerator box for three or four years.

thanks to all.
our goal is to stay debt free. so I'm doing what I can to accomplish that.
we're getting a lot of free stuff so it helps

We are debt free and have been for a long time now. Our kid is turning 2 soon.

It's not impossible.

My problem was never staying out of debt. My problem was saving my excess money for future use

I could not save while my kids were in daycare. Now that they are in school, I'm banking a ton of my pay. (However, there is always room for improvement.)

My wife and I had our first child 6 years ago, and 18 months after that we had our second (and last) child. The second child was unexpected, but at the time and looking back, it was great to get the early years started and in sync. Come college time I may feel differently about that : )

Anyways...

Prior to having children my wife and I had both worked full-time and made good salaries, and we had a pretty low mortgage, but with about $40k in student loan debt, $25k in car loans, and some credit card debt.

After having our first child, my wife decided that she couldn't do the daycare thing. At the time I thought we were in for financial ruin, but I supported her decision and told her I would make it work (my wife doesn't really pay any mind to the finances...).

It was at that time that, for the first time in our lives, we learned how to live frugally. And it was hard for the first couple of years. We were used to eating out 3+ times a week. Spending whatever we wanted, when we wanted (but fortunately never on high-priced items...it was always lower-cost stuff but lots of it).

While my philosophy on personal finance differs greatly from JD and many of the folks on this forum in regards to reasons to be frugal, and housing, etc. There is a cold, hard difference between being frugal because you have to to survive, and being frugal because you want to be a millionaire when you retire.

So my goal was to NOT get us into any more debt and keep us above water for a few years until my wife went back to work. Mind you, she was making the same salary as me, so we lost 50% of our income pretty much unexpectedly even though it was a choice.

That was 6 years ago. The first 2 years we never ate out, never spent much on anything 'discretionary', and I 'hustled' for side-money every chance I got. I taught myself web development (I did some at my day job already so it wasn't difficult to learn more advanced skills on my own) and started my own web development side-business which started earning me spending money. Prior to that, I was always responding to craigslist ads of all kinds...stuff like 'help me move and I'll give you $50!' - it was demeaning, and sometimes back-breaking work. I hated it. Here I am sweating my tail off working weekends for low wages, from a 19 year old kid with rich parents who is too lazy to move his own furniture. The worst was when I scored a job working weekend nights as a 'roadie'/'guitar tech' for a local heavy metal cover band. I'm a bald guy making $70k per year at the time, but at night, from 8pm to 3am, I'm a 'roadie' for a horrible heavy-metal band that played dive bars. These guys were like spinal tap but without the talent, the fans, or the arenas : ) It's funny now, but looking back it was really embarassing. But you know what, I did what I had to do for a couple of years.

4 years later and we were completely out of debt with the exception of our mortgage (and fortunately we live in an area that is pretty much immune from the housing collapse, and we have about 150% equity in our house). My wife started working part-time this past winter and will be working full-time next fall, when my son starts 1st grade.

So it can be done.

My advice: minimize expenses (duh!), but do not stop saving for retirement. In fact, you should try to save even more if your wife is going to stop working. And enjoy these years. The first couple can be difficult, but really rewarding. After that, they are all rewarding : )