This is a guest post from Ivan Chan. Ivan teaches busy professionals simple ways to manage money and worry less in life at Wealthy Without Worry.
Being frugal is hard. You've been so disciplined all week with your spending, you've kept to your budget, and you've even resisted buying that new thing you wanted to try. You are on target to meet your savings goals for this month, and then your colleagues at work invite you to the steakhouse around the corner for a tasty (and potentially pricey) meal and maybe even have a drink or three.
The Secret Fear of Becoming the Office Cheapskate
We all have our reasons for being frugal, but one thing is often true: no one wants to be known as the office cheapskate. The one who rarely spends money eating out but is always the first one in line for free food? The girl who digs out her pennies because she is only paying her portion of the bill and nothing more? The guy who conveniently forgets his wallet for the THIRD time when it is his turn to buy coffee for the team? Not cool, right?
Save Money Without Being a Cheapskate
Watching your budget if you join your colleagues for some social bonding at work may seem like a lost cause, but it doesn't have to be that way. You have many subtle ways to save on your food bill and still spend quality time with the company at, well, your company. Check out these ideas:
- Get to know your neighborhood. In every town, city, or neighborhood, you'll find great places to eat that are also easy on the wallet. Check out online restaurant reviews. Look at restaurant menus and prices online to see if a place is reasonable. The nicest-looking restaurants often overcharge you for fairly average food (they have to pay for the fancy decor somehow). If you're going to spend your money, you should get your money's worth.
- Order the lunch specials. Most places that cater to the working crowd offer lunch-time specials. They tend to be cheaper than ordering other items from the menu. Plus, the mass-production model means you'll likely get your food fairly quickly. Look for these next time.
- Use Groupons or Living Social deals. Sign up for their daily email. They offer deep discounts for restaurants, bars and entertainment happening in major cities around the world. You may just find one for your favorite restaurants in today's deal. Often, you can share the discounts with others, too!
- Watch for special promotions. If you work in an urban downtown environment, competition for your business among restaurants, coffee shops and bars will be high. Use that to your advantage. Find out what special promotions may be going on right now and suggest that to your colleagues before heading out.
- Plan ahead with loyalty/stamp cards. Loyalty programs — a smart customer's best friend. “Stamp cards” are particularly popular with coffee shops. They typically offer a free drink after buying the first 10, for example. If you go on a regular basis anyway, why not be efficient with your money? Plus you'll look smart in front of all your new pals who did not even know about that stamp card.
- Have some food before going. I have friends who always have a few drinks before heading to bars, which forces them to not overspend once they arrive. You can use the same idea with eating out at a restaurant. Grab a snack just before going out for lunch with your coworkers next time.
- Drink slowly (especially at a bar). You may feel pressured to keep up when everyone else is ready for round two. One subtle way to ease that pressure is to drink slowly. When the time comes to order seconds, you can point to your half-full glass and say you'll skip this next round.
- Share with others. A little planning ahead can save you money while still getting you what you want. For example, you can order a pitcher of beer to share with others as opposed to each person ordering their individual drinks. While it may be harder, you can do the same with food too.
- Become regulars at a restaurant or bar. If you go out regularly, you want to be strategic (just like the stamp card tip above) to stretch your dollar. Regulars get better treatment and often get free stuff on the house. Get to know the manager or bartender on duty. It really helps when the servers know you by name.
- Know your cheap beers. Many restaurants and bars don't advertise their drink prices openly for a reason: they don't want you to base your purchase decisions on price. You can always ask for a list of prices. But if you want to be more subtle, get to know the cheap beers and order those.
- Limit your time there. This works particularly well for after-work drink sessions. The idea is simple: get one drink, mingle with people, and then quietly slip out the door. You'll look like a sociable person because you showed up. At the same time, you didn't empty your wallet because you stayed for the next two hours.
- Ask for a discount. Sometimes the most effective way to save money is to come out and ask. And why not? The worst thing they'll say is no. However, the chance of this tactic working goes up tremendously if you've become regulars at the place. The last thing a business wants is to upset a repeat customer who then never comes back. Use that to your advantage.
- Bring a frugal buddy with you. Peer pressure — we all know how powerful that can be to make us act in ways we may not have otherwise. So, harness this powerful psychological force for your own good. Look for a Frugal Buddy. Tell each other what your budget is before dining out and hold each other accountable. You don't want to look bad by not holding up your end of the bargain, right?
Be Smart and Frugal, Not Dumb and Cheap
So there you have it — a whole list of smart, frugal ideas for you to try the next time you dine out with your colleagues. No more worrying whether you look like a cheapskate in front of your peers. No more feeling you should just give up and empty your wallet along with the rest of them. No more feeling guilty because you think you have betrayed your frugal ways by dining out. Because the next time, you'll be ready. And not just ready: you'll be prepared with smart ways to save money. Ways that will not make you look like a cheapskate. Ways that could even save your coworkers money. Ways that will make you look like a savvy, seasoned pro with stretching your dollar at restaurants. So how about that? Here's your chance to look smart AND save money.
I feel like you missed a big way to stick to your budget, one that doesn’t brand you as the “office cheapskate”: just saying no to going out, if it’s an activity of dubious value to you. The guy who’s first in line for something free and the guy who says he’s not going out with everyone this time aren’t the same, and writing a post that infers that they are doesn’t sound like good advice for people who are living by a budget in order to reach goals that are important to them. There’s no shame in sticking to… Read more »
I agree with your sentiments. I have no trouble saying no or just eat the lunch I brought from home while others choose to order out. That way I don’t end up subsidizing other people’s meals because the office mates tend to split the check evenly or round up.
That’s great, me too!
Yeah, the check splitting is definitely not fair to people who are trying to watch their budget.
Again, as I’ve mentioned to Sandi, my suggestions are more for people who wants to stick to their budget but may feel pressured to do otherwise due to their environment.
Sounds like you’re doing just fine saying “no” though. Keep it up!
Agree. I always bring my lunch, while many of my colleagues eat out out almost every day (but not together, usually, so I’m not missing anything, and my lunch choice is certainly not hurting anyone else). I might be someone who “rarely spends money dining out,” but that doesn’t mean I’m in the same category as someone who mooches off their coworkers. I don’t have the money to go out regularly, and I don’t think I need to pretend that I can afford to do so. I take advantage of free food, but that’s not hurting anyone, either — if… Read more »
Indeed, your actions and choices aren’t hurting anyone. That’s good to hear!
And yes, if you don’t have the money to go out regularly, then certainly don’t pretend you do. That most likely wouldn’t end very well (for your budget).
Sandi, yes, you have a point. I do believe that there is no shame in sticking to your budget.
In fact, I’m proud of you for not minding whether or not people think of you as a cheapskate as a result! Not many people are that brave.
The point I was trying to get across is that it’s OK to feel a little self-conscious about sticking to a budget when there’s peer-pressure against doing so. And if that’s you, then here are some ways I’ve find to help with that.
I completely agree! Who says you have to go to every single “meeting” that someone dreams up. I’d hit only the important ones or if you feel like you must go, try ordering one of the cheapest things on the menu. If you have friends/co-workers that are pressuring you into doing something that you don’t want to do, you probably need to re-evaluate if their opinion or the relationship is really that important to you… Also, who the hell cares if you are labeled as the office cheapskate?? It has to be someone, so it might as well be you.… Read more »
I can appreciate these tips and the spirit of this post but I think it unknowingly gives credence to the idea that those with a frugality mindset have to be secretive about their intentions to build wealth as to not disturb anyone’s sensibilities. Also, being frugal does not equate to not being balanced and socially awkward. If I’ve brown bagged it all week and at the end of the week I want to enjoy a night out, I feel I can do that guilt-free within reason. I can use cash or a debit card and not appear as an OCD… Read more »
Your idea about the secretive mindset is interesting. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that in my post at all. But I can see how it can be interpreted that way. I agree that being frugal has nothing to do with whether a person is socially awkward or not. They are two completely separate things. I’ve certainly met people in the past who were outgoing smooth talkers who often got out of paying for their portion of the bill. You’re right that you should be careful of the company you keep. If you can, you should stay away from people… Read more »
If you bring your lunch to work on a consistent basis, then you can splurge a little bit when your colleagues want to go out. You will enjoy the meal and not look cheap.
FYI – The link to Ivan’s website above is broken. It has a ) at the end of the link.
I agree. I bring my lunch on most days too, but I also don’t mind splurging once in a while (within reason). After all, you’ve got to live a little!
Yeah, the link to my site is definitely broken. I’ve emailed the editor about it. Thanks for mentioning this. I really appreciate it!
My link has been fixed!
This kinda assumes that you want to splurge. When I actually want to splurge eating out, I’d rather to do with enough time to enjoy the meal. A casual diner isn’t my idea of splurging, it’s where you go because you want to eat something because you need to eat something, like during a shopping trip or the you visit your family and don’t want then to spend time in the kitchen.
I bring my lunch every day to work, but we don’t have an office culture of constantly going out. When we do go out, I throw the frugality out the window and enjoy myself. Splurging occasionally isn’t a bad thing.
If the office culture was focused on regularly spending money outside of work, I’d have to rethink my strategy. I’d probably schedule meetings, errands, or after work activities to get out of some of the required spending.
Yes, intentionally “double-booking” yourself in order to get out of those required spending… very clever!
All good tips if food and drink are your main concern, but this post is really just the tip of the proverbial ice berg. I’m probably not alone in having faced challenges at work including holiday gift exchanges, baby showers and bridal showers (often for people you don’t really know!) and retirement parties — not to mention everyone’s kids’ fundraising drives. And then there is the pressure to dress a certain way and have all the right status symbols. (“What, you don’t have a smart phone?”) Thankfully, there are creative solutions for all of these challenges. I’m grateful my current… Read more »
Thanks! You’re right — there’s still a lot more situations that could have been covered. All those other things require their own strategies too if one prefers to be discrete. And you’re definitely not alone in facing those challenges!
Future posts, hint hint! 😉
Haha, noted! 🙂
I think you bring up a great point. I work in sales, and I come across these challenges all the time. My team is quite spendy and I have literally been told by my boss that I need to upgrade my phone because I work in technology and it doesn’t look professional to have an older model. I find that it’s all about balance. For example, I did upgrade my phone to the iPhone 4 for 99 bucks. It isn’t the latest and greatest, but it looks the part so I can get by. As far as work clothes go,… Read more »
I really should stop reading the comments from newest to oldest. WHen I read “For showers and the like, I simply participate.”, I went “HUH?”. (Also helps that “showers” as a custom isn’t very common over here. People just give a few Euros and a card to pitch in for the breakfast the new parent or groom brings ins return.)
I think the boss needs to get with the times. It now looks foolish to constantly be upgrading technology and with those upgrades coming in intervals less than a year, it makes a person look silly trying to keep up with trends. As someone who works in technology – and a boss, for that matter – that person should be aware of the fact. Conspicuous consumption makes one look ridiculous.
I agree. It’s also scary whenever your boss is dedicating your personal spending habits, directly or otherwise. I feel for Phoebe in this situation.
I enjoy celebrating people’s milestones, supporting charity drives (so far there haven’t been too many!) and chipping in if flowers or food are appropriate (if someone loses a loved one, for instance.) They’re all part of my budget in one way or another. I think what has made a difference is the way these things are handled. Often, there’s a group gift for showers and people can give as little or much as they want. (There’s usually a “suggested” amount of $20 or so.) The showers are often people bring in desserts rather than eating out, and some places I’ve… Read more »
Sounds like you have a great workplace, Elizabeth! Indeed, how people feel about money situations at the office has a lot to do with how things are handled.
Showers, charity drives, and such are a great way to bring people together and build a sense of community. We just have to be sensitive and not make people feel awkward with the money aspect of it.
Wow, your boss actually told you how to spend your money? That sucks! Glad to hear that you’re finding a way out despite the circumstances.
I think it’s great that you’ve found a balance between participating and opting out. It’s important that we each decide what’s within our comfort zone, and what we are OK with leaving out.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Phoebe!
Here’s a much easier way – explain to your work colleagues why you’re being frugal, why it matters, how this has an effect on your budget/savings/plan for wedding etc. You’ll gain their respect I’m 100% certain of it, and it’ll save you having to do all those things…. *sigh* Or, maybe compromise and one day a week eat out with them – after all, if you’re working in a ‘professional’ environment, you can afford it – the cost will be balanced by the networking potential, so in the end it’s worth it. If this method doesn’t gain your co-workers respect,… Read more »
There are other ways to be generous and “part of the team” without emptying your accounts. You can occasionally bring in coffee for the office, or cookies or some other treat you either bought or baked yourself. Unexpected treats make everyone feel good, and make you look like you’re participating in the “feel good” culture. I make very nice handcrafted soap, and once in a while, I’ll hand around some bars as a treat. I may not always go out to lunch with them, but they look forward to my soap! >>I work in technology and it doesn’t look professional… Read more »
I love your soap idea. I try to bring in treats every now and then too for coworkers and that always seem to brighten up everyone’s day. Home-made treats are the best. They are economical and they provide great conversation starters for colleagues that may not normally talk to each other!
Great tips, I find planning for these kinds of things to be the best way to not to look like the office cheapskate. On top of that I will usually suggest lunch time buffets as a cheaper alternative and most people will usually jump on it without a problem.
Thanks, Chris! Yeah, planning ahead can go a long way to helping us keep within budget. The lunch time buffet is a good idea for sure!
I have stopped going out to lunch, but mostly because I’m eating healthy. Whenever coworkers go out, we a bunch of fried and greasy food, which does not abode with my body. Health and fitness is a great excuse to not go out to eat! Plus, I save money by not going out all the time.
I hear ya! Not eating out does have the side benefit of forcing us to plan ahead and be more conscious of our eating habits.
Is it a great excuse? From the coworkers’s POV, it’s like you claim that they eat unhealthily. And from my experience, that’s not something many people like to hear.
I’m actually opting out 4 of 5 days. Partly because I’m cheap, partly because I function better when I have something as 12 o’clock and partly because they frequent mostly a cafeteria or restaurants that service meat at prices which don’t allow for humane raising. N
Funny thing is, I’m not even a vegetarian, but man, those must suffer.
So once a week with a meat-less salad is enough for me.
Haha, it takes guts to admit that one is cheap. I’m impressed, Peter! 🙂
Still, it’s a good idea to be subtle as to not imply that your coworkers have unhealthy eating habits. Sometimes it’s best to be subtle with our money choices as to not make others feel awkward. That’s not to say we should be secretive or ashamed or our choices — far from it! But being sensitive of others is a good habit to get into.
Kinda revisiting this and similar thread. Yes, I’m cheap when it comes to services and eating out. I do it with family, when time is of essence and we’d rather be together than to concern ourselves with food preparation and doing the dishes. I actually changed my behaviour between the years, as our company cafeteria switched the operator/contractor and became bearable, so we went there more often, as it is noticeably less expensive than the various independent food places. But then I again opted out. The cheap meat is still a problem for me and I started to favour vegetable… Read more »
If going for lunches with co-workers, contributing to birthdays and showers, and having the latest and greatest attire or phone is necessary (ie. if to do otherwise could threaten your job security), I’d consider it a work-related expense and budget accordingly. That should give a more accurate perspective on the costs of that particular job (as suggested in Your Money or Your Life). For those who can say no without worrying about losing their jobs, maybe some suggestions on how to explain your financial goals to others in an inspiring way would be a helpful blog post. Regardless of how… Read more »
Suggestions on how to explain your financial goals to others would be an interesting post indeed. Thanks for mentioning it!
And you’re right: no matter what you do, for whatever reason some people just aren’t going to like you. That’s life.
I guess I lucked out spending my engineering career at a company where the culture emphasizes earning more than spending. Here the high-status symbols are income streams from various investments, some active like commercial real estate or antiques trading, others passive like buy/write equity options. No one seems to care where you live, what you park outside, or where you went on vacation, water cooler talk is all about what kind of returns you pull in from outside biz. We had a few new hires from straight out of college the past couple of years, they let their first paychecks… Read more »
That’s an awesome work culture you have there! I totally agree that the company you keep has a huge impact on your decisions in life, financially or otherwise. So part of the onus is on us to find the right group to fall into.
I have a few coworkers/friends at work that share similar attitudes as me when it comes to money. Not surprisingly, it’s much easier to be myself and stick to my financial choices when I’m hanging out with them.
Love your “mutually assured financial destruction” phrase. I may have to steal it! 😉
Not going out for breakfast and lunch at work saves a lot of money. I also stopped drinking alcohol and usually grab a beer here and there. Now a lot of times my wife and I share meals when we go out. Some places are okay with it. Its okay to be frugal doesn’t really matter what others think.
That’s right, Thomas. Make your choices and stick to them. As long as we’re not affecting others in a negative way, it really doesn’t matter what anyone think.
Great tips, Ivan! When I was at work, we always went out for lunch together on Fridays. And after going out a few times, it was amply clear that some in the group were budget conscious. So we just had an unspoken rule to never go out to a place that would cost upwards of $10-$15. I think it would be a shame to not go out at all – it is really good to network with colleagues outside the workplace every so often. At the same time, I agree that you cannot let yourself go beyond your comfort level… Read more »
Thanks, Sumitha! I love that your group has an unspoken rule on how much to spend when going out.
It’s certainly awesome to have colleagues who are considerate of other people’s budgets! It would be a shame indeed to not go out simply because one can’t afford to do so.
I think I would rather be labeled as as “cheap” and save my money than hang out with all the cool kids but be two paychecks away from bankruptcy.
A mature outlook on life calls for making decisions that are right for you and ignoring what others expect. You’re the one who’s going to be “cool” when you are enjoying your early retirement and they are still working.
That works! It’s your own choice for sure, so there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to do this. Besides, no matter what you say or do, there’s always going to be one or two people who take it personally.
All of these tips are great, but many times regardless of how careful you are, you get stuck helping pay for what everyone else ate/drank. Many times I have order carefully and when it came time to pay, it was decided that it would be split by the number of people dining. I had to pay a share of everyone’s extra drinks, appetizers, etc. How do you opt out of the split check without looking like a cheapskate?
Great question, Colleen! Yeah, this happens quite often, especially if you’re in a big group and each person orders more than one or two items. My advice to you is tell the server you want separate bills UPFRONT. That means before you even order your food. In my experience, most servers are more than happy to do that. It’s easier for them to keep things separate from the start, since they don’t have to figure out who ordered what at the end of the meal. It will also eliminate the hassle of trying to split the bill fairly yourself. Finally,… Read more »
Easy. Bring *only* cash and say so when you’re ordering. (As in “I’m working on this budgeting project so I’m only paying cash for things right now.”)
Indeed, if the subtle separate checks method doesn’t work, then I guess you have to be blunt and insist on only paying your share.
That may bother some people, but I guess you can’t please everyone.
I like being the office cheapskate. Keeps people from asking me for gas/lunch money and not paying me back. I was a sucker for that the first year I was here, I’ll bow out and let others be the sucker.I don’t mind helping folks out but there’s something off about someone who makes as much or more than you asking for you to help them put gas in a car that’s nicer and newer than yours. Or my favorite…”for some reason my direct deposit didn’t go through”. Really? And yet mine did, and we have the same employer and same… Read more »
It’s great that your coworkers respect your opinion when it comes to money matters. Thanks for sharing!
I have no problem being the office cheapskate. I rather enjoy it, knowing that I have $150 in my mad money drawer as opposed to the $150 this summer’s designer flip flops. My problem is my volunteer work. One night a week I volunteer for a community group that revolves around a “social” aspect – The group orders dinner and you don’t dare not participate or cheap out with soup or salad. (And no, brown bagging it or cooking in don’t cut it, either.) I solved this very simply by ordering a full dinner. Last time it was chicken parm… Read more »
That’s ingenious! Yeah, if you’re going to spend the money, then may as well make it worth your while!
The link to my blog has been fixed!
Those of you who couldn’t get through to my blog before, please click the link in my bio again.
Thanks! 🙂
I’m quite open about my frugality with my friends and colleagues. My husband took a big pay cut several years ago, which was an effective wake up call to us. Nevertheless, my husband and I have a plan to move to Hawaii (the Big Island) upon retirement, in about 10 years. So when someone asks if I’m going to be going to a certain pricey event or a crafts show or other place where spending money will be a big temptation, I say, “I would love to go, but it’s not conducive to my 10-year plan to live in Hawaii.”… Read more »
Thanks for sharing your story, Dairy Maid!
It’s great to hear you’re so open and confident about your plans. I think that goes a long way to convincing other people to support your cause. It also helps that you’re generous and helpful to others around you too!
Best of luck to your retirement plans!
One of the things I’ve found works best with my kids is turning everything into a game. Who can save the most each month? Who can find the best deals or coupons for the grocery store, etc. They love it and they learn about being responsible with money.
That’s a great way to involve your kids, Mason! And they get to learn a very important life skill while they are at it. Thanks for sharing!
I like this article. As a frugal vegetarian, split checks were often a double whammy. I generally ordered the least expensive thing (because it was the only vegetarian option) and I’m not much of a drinker, yet I’m paying an equal share of the bill? I solved this by deciding to save in other ways and pay my “fair” share gracefully when the situation arose. The good news: I retired last year and the situation has not occurred since. Hooray for sticking to my budget, even if I did have to be creative at times. Note to #2 DreamChaser57: One… Read more »
Thanks, Diane! I’ve never considered it, but yeah I can see how those split checks really suck for vegetarians (unless you’re “that person” getting everyone else to subsidize you)!
However, it’s great to hear you don’t have to put up with these sort of situations anymore!
Years ago I worked in quite a swish PR company where, for some reason, it was frowned upon to bring your own lunch to work. The thinking — though it was never put quite as baldly as this – was that if you were bringing your own lunch you were struggling in some way. It meant that you couldn’t afford to go out and buy sandwiches, that you weren’t doing as well as you should be, and in that competitive culture where everyone wanted to look as if they were climbing the ladder, it wasn’t the done thing to be… Read more »
TAKE YOUR LUNCH TO WORK. Call it “leftovers” if you need to.
I cook meals on the weekend, pop them in the fridge, then take them to work throughout the week.
With the average lunch out costing me around £7, but the average cost of the meals I cook being around £2, I am saving over £100 a month.
That’s most of my weekend frivolity covered!
Now there’s a great idea, Nix: batch-process your food to save money AND time!