The holiday season can test a frugal person's patience: There are so many temptations to spend. Sure, we all want to enjoy the festive nature this time of year, but where do you draw the line? And how fugal is too frugal?
Michelle wrote with a terrific question. She has the sort of dilemma I can picture myself facing. Here's her story:
Like you, I am a big proponent of thrift store shopping. It saves money, and it's just more fun going to the mall — at least for me. Because I live in the New York City area, I'm fortunate in that many of the area thrift stores are filled with fantastic stuff, including designer and name-brand quality clothes, many of which are barely worn.
On a recent thrift-store trip, I picked up two designer handbags as Christmas gifts for my college-aged nieces, but now I'm having second thoughts.
- On the one hand, there's no way they would ever really acquire Coach and Kate Spade handbags on their own.
- On the other hand, I don't know if they share my acceptance and love for thrifting, and they may not react well to the thought of being gifted someone else's cast-offs.
Since new versions of these bags are clearly out my budget, there's no way to pass these things off as anything other than second-hand. What do you think? Is it tacky to purchase gifts at a thrift store?
My initial response to Michelle's question is that of course it's okay to purchase gifts at a thrift store — I do it all the time! But maybe that's because of the way my family has set up its gift exchange.
In my family, adults exchange $5 gifts: Each of us buys something costing no more than five bucks for every other adult. This arbitrary budget forces folks to get creative. And because of that, thrift stores are actually a fantastic place to find presents. Garage sales, too. (And I've spent many hours trolling Amazon for fun bargains.)
Here's my favorite example: Several years ago, I found a set of nice drafting pens for ten bucks at a garage sale. My brother used to draw house plans (though he no longer does), and I thought these would make a great Christmas gift. I haggled the price down to five bucks. Back home, I researched the actual price for the pens. They normally sold for about $70. Score! (I'm not sure if Jeff has ever used them, but this is the best $5 gift I've ever given.)
Obviously, not everyone is in a situation where giving bargain buys from garage sales and thrift stores is socially acceptable. But I'm willing to wager that there are plenty of people out there for whom this sort of thing is okay, at least to some degree.
But this is the sort of question where I definitely need to poll a wider audience. Not everyone shares my love of buying used. In fact, many GRS readers deplore thrift stores. Instead of steering Michelle down my own (possibly misguided) path, it's probably best to field responses from a variety of perspectives.
What do you think? When is it okay to purchase gifts from a thrift store? Is it always okay? Never okay? And what about Michelle's specific situation: Should she feel any shame in giving used designer handbags to her nieces this Christmas?
Author: J.D. Roth
In 2006, J.D. founded Get Rich Slowly to document his quest to get out of debt. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest. Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money — and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals.
I don’t see why it would be a problem. If I were the recipient, I’d be happier to know the giver hadn’t overstretched their budget for me.
But then, my family are frugal through-and-through, so I *expect* my gifts to have been bought in the most economical way. In fact, as a child, I remember asking for a “Mr Frosty” shaved ice maker. My parents felt that it was overpriced and flimsy, so spent a lesser amount of money on an unbranded kitchen quality ice shaver. Same function, but more sturdy and larger capacity, but not snowman shaped… They then used Letraset to write “Mrs Frosty” on it, and make a little picture of a woman out of letters.
I was initially upset (I was 7 and probably wanted the snowman more than the shaved ice), but I fell for the “Father Christmas misread your letter” line, and in the end was a lot happier with it than I would have been with the commercial version. As predicted, they broke easily, and the capacity meant that making enough for a group of friends took ages. I could make in bulk, and it still works, over a decade later.
I agree. I think it’s completely fine to do give used gifts and be economical with purchases. After all, it’s the actual gift that matters. Some people might snub it, but I don’t understand why? As long as your gift is truly thoughtful and doesn’t come across as you being “cheap” :-)
No because everything I get from a friend smells bad and is coated with dust (and makes me feel sick) and I have to turn around and give them to Goodwill. She’s on disability so I understand and just say how cute the things are, but hope she doesn’t ask me about them later. I feel it would hurt her feelings to tell her.
Of course it’s ok to gift presents that you bought at the thrift store!
No matter where you got those bags, they’re still Kate Spade and Coach, and they are still excellent bags!
Now, if you were gifting re-used underwear or something….that’s crossing the line, but bags, yeah, no sweat!
I think that it’s OK as long as the items you are buying are clearly new (or close as). I don’t think clothes would be alright, because they might have been worn and some people are put off by that, but other items such as accessories and homeware can be found in perfect condition in thrift stores. A designer handbag is a designer handbag.
Unless there is a pre-agreement like in JDs family, I am not in favor of it for a present. Now, if you see the handbag and buy it as a kind gesture and say ‘hey, look what I picked up at Salvation Army’, then that is one thing. However, for a gift, I think buying something new is more appropriate.
I think it depends. I don’t thrift shop, but my hubby has found some decent toys for my son. On the other hand, my mother in law lives to thrift shop. I just got a pair of way too big garden gloves with a big hole in the thumb area from her for Christmas.( A much better gift than the moldly smell scarf with some random bodily hair stuck in for last years present). My MIL is not hurting for money either. I agree with the previous post. If its second hand, make sure it doesn’t have that “smell” or holes.
I think I go with Everyday Tips on this one. Second hand stuff is OK if it’s just like a casual gift kind of thing, but not as a Christmas or birthday present.
It *should* be fine, shouldn’t it?! I think this case is an exception because the bags are probably in good shape, and I think at least most people like a discount (even though they prefer that it’s new). As long as there are no defects, it should be just fine. I wonder if they would appreciate a brand-new t-shirt from Old Navy more than these gently-used high-dollar purses from a thrift store. College kids usually appreciate thriftiness, and if the girls feel they’d never be able to afford one they’ll probably be grateful.
What drives me nuts is that we have *so much* in this country that it’s absolutely nothing to stop using something because you’ve already had it for a year and it’s time for a new one. But I appreciate the opportunity to wait a year for nice things and buy the barely used items someone else didn’t want anymore!
-j
I would be totally ok with a thrift store handbag. Honestly, my last three handbags have come from a thrift store. I think as long as they look new and not beat up then it is fine.
I don’t think I would buy clothes as gifts from a thrift store just because I know some people are squeamish about that. But I think things like handbags and household goods are totally fine.
Now…you have to use common sense and stick with things that are in great shape and not give someone a beat up, chipped set of dishes, for example.
why don’t you ask their parents how they think your nieces would react?
Are the handbags “new-looking” there is “used” and there is “good as new” and that can make a difference as well
In this case (the bags are designer, in good condition), I’d think it would be okay. Were it clothing, I’d think not – I see nothing wrong with buying thrift store clothing for yourself or your immediate family, but not as gifts.
(Do try to make sure that they are not knock-offs, just in case.)
Once the girls start using the bags around their friends, it’s not like anyone is going to care that they came from the thrift store – just the name!
I don’t know about Michelle’s nieces, but for me the fact that the designer handbags were purchased at a thrift store at *well* below designer prices would be a bragging point, especially if people complimented me on them.
When I was in college, I found a leather bomber jacket at a local thrift store for $20. The lining was a little worn, but otherwise it was in great shape. I gave it to my boyfriend (now my husband) for Christmas. He *loved* it. Whenever anyone complimented him on it (and a lot of people did and do), he says, “Yeah, my girlfriend/wife got this for me for $20! Awesome, right?”
A few years ago I went to a tailor and had it re-lined for $60 (1/2 off regular price b/c the tailor was a friend of the family). I saw a similar jacket on a mannequine in a department store a few weeks ago, it was going for more than $300.
If you find nice quality, long-lasting items like leather jackets, handbags, etc., I think they can and should be given as gifts. Why not give someone a nice gift if you know that they will love it. It shouldn’t matter where it came from.
Asking their parents as Sylvia suggested is a good idea. I’m also inclined to think that giving those bags for Christmas are more likely to do good than harm, but if you approach it in the right way. Don’t just give them the bags and stand there beaming – disclose where they came from, say you were excited when you found those amazing bags but you’d understand if they don’t want thrift store stuff, and along the way, you’ll be imparting some important financial lessons.
If they’ve been raised well, they’ll either gently suggest you not do it again, or honestly love them.
You come out ahead regardless of what their reactions are because then you see other family members’ responses to the thought of gifting thrift store stuff and then you know whether this is OK for future occasions.
I normally wouldn’t give second hand items unless I’ve talked about it with the person before and I know they are ok with it.
However, in the case of designer handbags that the girls would not be able to afford, I think the girls will be accepting of second hand items!
I can’t help but wonder if it would make a difference to this conversation if the bags were bought at a vintage clothing store or consignment shop instead? Used is used, but sometimes people think those shops are more acceptable than thrift stores and garage sales.
I would be happy to have a gift like this that someone obviously put some thought into and didn’t have to blow their budget for, especially when I was in college.
If the giver is in doubt, perhaps the way to find out for sure is to call the moms of the girls and find out if the gift would be appropriate.
If your college aged nieces are into bags/fashion, I think the scales are in your favor if the bags are good-as-new and classically on-trend. Every fashionable woman appreciates a good bargain!
My only caveat is if the bag falls into the “fancy-label, but ugly” category. There are a few COACH bags in recent memory that were quite popular recently, that I thought were unattractive.
You could make these bags into, literally, giftbags by including a great (inexpensive) scarf, lip balm, mints, ballpoint pens, and other useful items that are needed in a handbag.
I think it’s more than OK as long as the bags are “Like New.” I agree with many of the other comments here, that accessories and home goods are OK but pass on the clothing.
On a similar note, when I buy electronics as gifts I buy refurbished if available. No way I would be able to give iPods and cameras as freely as I do without it.
I’m torn on this one… I’m all about being frugal, but not to the point that it might offend someone. I’d say that in this situation, I’d have to be absolutely sure that the recipient is a fellow frugalista, especially since it’s Christmas.
Maybe you could put out a feeler with your sister (or sister-in-law) to see if the nieces would mind second-hand designer bags? You could approach it with something like, “I saw these designer handbags and instantly thought of so-and-so. I can just *see* her carrying it down the street! Now, they are in practically perfect condition, but they are second-hand…?” Let the question dangle and see what her mom says.
The truth of the matter is that a gift is supposed to be about buying an item that you think will make the recipient happy. I’d say that if you can’t be 100% sure they won’t mind that it’s second-hand, go with something else. Maybe you could stash those bags to give at another time, or to someone else?
I agree with LifeAndMyFinances – it depends on the item.
I personally buy all sorts of stuff from thrift stores (or charity shops as they’re called in the UK) or second-hand from other places such as eBay – but I would probably only give something that was either clearly new/never used or something a bit special.
If they were in good condition and I thought the girls would like them, I’d give those bags in a shot.
I’d also give vintage items – I found a 1940’s Japanese jewellery box in a charity shop a few months ago – it wasn’t worth a lot of money but it was beautiful and, critically, matched a music box my mum already owns — that was a great find!
I would give brand new/excellent quality designer clothes if I thought it would be something the person would love but couldn’t afford otherwise, but I wouldn’t give them basic boring high street clothes. (I probably wouldn’t give those from a thrift shop or even brand new from the high street store.)
Personally, we use a vintage dinner set – a very specific 1970s pattern – and often find odd pieces in charity shops. If someone gave me pieces of that as a present, I’d know that they’d found them second-hand but I would be overjoyed.
The gift shouldn’t be about how much you did or didn’t spend on it, it should be able suitability for the person. And sometimes thrift shop items are the perfect thing for people.
I agree with Sylvia and Leslie – as long as the item in question is in great shape there’s nothing wrong with giving someone a gift you found at a secondhand store.
SF_UK, my family had the same agreements when we celebrated Christmas. (We’ve since switched to only buying presents for the kids…but that’s another story. :) )
Everyday Tips, I’m curious to hear the reasoning behind why you don’t find this appropriate?
I have personally bought used items as Christmas presents for relatives. It makes me uncomfortable in some cases, frankly, but I would not feel uncomfortable to receive something used, especially something as awesome as a kate spade bag. I guess it depends on the personality/snobbery of the nieces. I felt uncomfortable giving my sister in law a thrift store cookbook (even thought it was out of print), because she’s very squeamish about certain things. I wouldn’t bat an eye to give my sister something used though.
Also, I’m jealous of that quality of thrift store! I live in rural TN and the best bag you can get at a thrift store around here is a broken piece of plastic from the 1980s that smells like cigarettes.
I also agree with Beth (# 10). Saying it came from a vintage clothing store makes it seem cool and hip, rather than dark and dirty, which is the image I think a lot of people get from the words “thrift store.”
I think it is fine so long as it’s not all beat up and it’s something they would want/use. The fact is that it is a gift and you are thinking of them and spending your time and money. If they don’t appreciate that then it’s not on you.
I was just wondering this yesterday as I was at my local thrift store! Ha! I ended up getting an original hand printed linoleum cut for my dad… it was $5, and then I took it to get re-framed ($80!), But i will have no qualms about giving something so beautiful to my dad, no matter where it is from!
I think buying presents from thrift stores is okay as long as they look okay. No one she knows should be able to tell where she got it from unless she tells them. It’s the thought that counts in gift-giving, not the price! In fact, this year I’m giving my mom a juicer that is someone else’s cast-off – and she’ll be totally fine with that. It’s a great way to see if she actually wants a juicer before shelling out the hundred-odd bucks to get her a brand new Power Juicer by Jack Lalaine.
I’ve gotten my brother records from thrift stores. They’re obviously used but it’s not like I could find them anywhere else.
I think it depends on the item being bought as well as who’s getting it.
I think its a great idea. I also agree that people have different ideas of what a vintage store is vs. a thrift store. I think its the thought that counts.
I think it is all about if buy the person something useful or meaningful to them. If you can find it at a thrift store then go for it. My brother collects video games. I found a few vintage video games at the local Thrift Store. He will be thrilled with them!
Much like most of the other commentors, I think buying gifts from thrift stores should be acceptable as long as the items are in good condition. I just went and purchased a used video game for my nephews for half of what it would cost new, and I’m sure they will find the game to be just as fun. After all, it is the same game/product that you could have paid more for.
I almost always buy new (out of ease) but I’m not opposed to used gifts, providing it looks and feels new to the recipient.
I would never, ever give a gift that is identifiable as used to someone unless it was a rare/unique item that is extremely hard to find (or very cost prohibitive) otherwise.
I agree with others who suggest checking with the parents. But the bags are better than an Old Navy t-shirt, and I would have no problem with it–especially if I wouldn’t otherwise be able to have one.
My family, like JD’s, is all about used. I asked for a tv table for Christmas, but I specificed used. My sister asked for a couple books, but does not want them new. However, I’d be careful about who I got something used for if I didn’t know it would be ok. Some of my friends and family wouldn’t mind at all, but others definitely would.
I think that she should go for it and it emphasizes her personality, taste and style – a lovely thing to express through a gift. I think that it is easy to forget that gifts should come from the heart and that a pricey tag does not equate thoughtful consideration or caring. If her nieces get upset, it will be a great opportunity to discuss with them why it upsets them and the value or meaning that they place on material goods. In saying than, vintage will prob sound much cooler than saying it is from a thrift store;)
A lot of college students think thrift stores are hip. It’s a point of pride to wear something acquired from a thrift store. It’s the perfect combo of green, vintage, and frugal. I know my college age brother would appreciate something from a thrift store even more than something new.
I think it depends on the person though. Certainly you should clean the handbags and make sure they look good as new. I say go for it; even if you buy them something new, there is no guarantee they will like that either.
Are the bags in good condition? Can you clean/polish them up to give them a ‘like new’ look? I don’t see the problem with gifting someone a thrift store purchased gift IF it’s clean and in like new or new condition. If you have access to quality, upscale accesories at thrift stores, I say take advantage!
They say we teach more by example than we do by the things we say, well, giving the thrift-store bags is a wonderful way for the girls to see what great bargains can be had at a thrift store. Nearly new designer handbags for a fraction of original cost! I would explain right up front, before they open the gifts, that this is something special that if they were new, there’s no way you could afford them, but you wanted to give them something incredible, instead of something they’d have to dust.
Isn’t this a WONDERFUL opportunity to give a gift you couldn’t otherwise afford AND teach the girls a valuable life lesson?
What about combining it with a shopping trip to show them how they can obtain similar items in the future?
I think it really depends on how it’s received. Gift giving isn’t about the giver, it’s about the recipient. If someone doesn’t think a present from a thrift store is appropriate, then I wouldn’t give them one. If I knew that the recipient was fine with it, then I would. If you’re unsure how the girls would react, I would maybe ask their parents.
If it is new with tags, sure, no problem.
If not new, then I’d let them know you got them at a darling vintage shop.
I love JC’s suggestion of using the bags as the “wrapping” and placing some wrapped inexpensive items in the bag, like lip balm, mints, perhaps a scarf or little gloves.
I would and have gifted items from a thrift store. These are the rules I stick to.
– If it is clothing, only if the original tags are still attached.
– Games are ok if all the pieces are still there and it appears to be in new condition. Bonus if the game is still wrapped in celophane.
– Accessories and kitchen/house hold items in like new condition, or gently used condition if it is something I know the recipient would LOVE regardless of where it came from.
I would love to receive a $5 gift at all! The more creative the better! And if it is from a Thrift store all the better!
College aged? That’s when I discovered thrift stores — I would bet that they would be more likely to congratulate on such a score! And per Sylvia, you might ask the parents, although you could be getting their reaction, not the kids’ reaction. I would go for it and if they react poorly, explain budget and how thrilled you were when you spotted the bags, because you thought they were so cool.
I don’t buy new clothes. If I buy clothes they come from the thrift store, period. For me it is about wasting money and resources…mine and the earth’s. I can’t imagine spending $45 on a pair of jeans I can buy for $5… and I would have no issue giving those jeans as a gift. I still bought them, I still was thinking of the person I bought them for,and most of my friends shop the way I do.
I say buy it all from the thrift store! I see nothing wrong with it as long as the item is in good condition and something the recipient wants.
I think it all depends on who you are giving it too. My friends are all recent college graduates and I would have no problem giving them something I found in a thrift shop, but I’m not so sure my “well-to-do” parents would love it as much. But, quite frankly a gift is a gift. You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this and that is what matters…
I agree with Everyday Tips. I would probably purchase a new gift and say “oh by the way, I got this for you too.”
Most of my clothes are bought from thrift stores. Its good for my wallet. It helps the local economy and I’m recycling. I recently bought an Ann Taylor jacket that retails for over $150 for $6! I feel rich when I wear it!
If they’re in college, I bet it will fly AND you can use it as a teaching opportunity. If the girls live close to you, I’d even enclose a gift certificate for One Day of Thrifting with Auntie. You might really get them hooked. I’ve never known someone good at thrifting and so I’ve never really “gotten” it. Having an aunt like you, especially during broke college years, would be a GREAT resource. And what better way to lure them into thrifting than with designer bags?
Call the purses vintage and your nieces will not have a problem with receiving vintage designer handbags, trust me :)
I think this mostly comes down to the personality of the receiver, I gave my best friend a thrifted vase recently for a gift, she new it was thrifted but loved it. She herself mostly wears second hand clothes so I knew she would be ok with it. However, I know most of my friends would be grossed out by getting something “used” as a gift.
These distinctions are so funny though because a lot of people pay good money for antiques or vintage things which essentially are other peoples used things which they did not want any more but somehow things that fall into this category are “fancy”.
This is one of those situations when a casual discussion with either the girls or their parents would be in order. If they like thrift shopping they’ll love the bags and will likely pump their new favorite aunt for the location of her awesome shop.
If you know the recipient doesn’t mind 2nd hand gifts, then it’s ok to give him/her something from the thrift store. :)
Our family doesn’t care at all if something is new or used so thrift store is great. The Mrs goes there all the time to pick up clothes.
But JD, doesn’t setting a $5 limit just encourage a lot of Stuff/junk aquisition? I see how you got creative with the pens — and after all, who knows if anyone actually uses the gifts we give at Christmas/birthdays/whenever or not — but I’d think that a $5 limit would result in a lot of Strange Cheap Stuff without much purpose.
Well, first Im going to assume that you know for a fact that said nieces like designer handbags (havent seen that assumption mentioned). Assuming that and the fact that said pruses are in good condition and/or spiffed up by you-I see absolutely no reason not to give a used gift. I agree that you coudl also put a couple cheap items that would normally go into a purse, but not necessaryily
One of the best gifts I ever gave, I found for $0.50 at a yard sale.
If the gift is right, the price and source don’t matter.
I’m going to go with a big fat “it depends”. If it’s something that the recipient would really enjoy and will keep, and if the item is either in like-new condition or supposed to be old, it’s fine. If you’re just out combing the thrift stores looking for any old gift, then I’d say no, because the person won’t be able to return it if they don’t like it.
I have always heard that if you wouldn’t mind receiving it as a gift then it is acceptable to give to someone else. If it’s good enough for you. . . I have a slight problem with the ones that say it is not acceptable. Why are there rules for giving gifts? I am not obligated to even get anyone a gift.
My feeling is that it’s not great to give someone a used gift. It’s more than okay to go do shopping at a thrift store normally, but it might not come off the right way.
I agree – college-age girls, like-new designer handbags at bargain prices = win/win. Also a good idea to mention to their folks, if this isn’t an established type of thing in your/their family. If asking the parents doesn’t pan out, I would take Thrifty Advocate’s advice about giving them but telling them straight up where you got them. “I saw them and thought, ‘Wow – these are like new, and Amy and Jill would look sooo awesome with them!'” If they don’t like them, maybe get them something else, and sell those bags for top dollar on eBay!
I’m generally not a fan of activism-by-gifting, but I think getting someone something from a thrift store sends a good message about consumerism. And honestly, if people are going to be super picky about where I get their gifts or how much I spend, I probably won’t bother again :)
I hate that we live in a world where a designer name is so important. I kind of think it’s teaching materialism to the girls, even though they were cheap and used. It makes it seem like it’s really important to have name brand.
Definitely agree with other readers about no used clothing!
I’m torn too because I think balancing a simple life with saving money and still having nice things is difficult.
I’d just be sad to see the girls get hooked on name brand so early in life and then not have the wits about them to get good deals and go into debt in the future to keep having higher quality products. So, I see the benefit of teaching them frugality but what if they miss that point…
Why on earth would you be concerned over whether someone would find your Christmas gift acceptable? Its a gift! On Christmas!
I’ve always maintained that gifts are optional for all occasions. I have steadfastly refused to tell people about things I might want for Christmas.
Growing up my grandparents were not even remotely wealthy. When I was about 12 I was given a small plastic cow as a Christmas gift from them. I still smiled and said thank you, and just the mention or the thought of the cow makes me smile, bringing back good memories of Christmas’ past.
Dont worry about whether they will “accept” the gift or not. Anyone worth buying a gift for will be polite and publicly grateful even if they never use the handbag.
Besides, most of know that its more fun to open gifts than it ever is to actually use them. =)
Sorry, but no.
I think thrift store gifting is a-OK for small kids and adults, but not for tweens, teens, and early twenty-somethings who tend to rely on holidays as a chance to get nicer things they couldn’t normally afford.
Also, we’re talking college-aged girls. If they are the type that are into thrift stores, then they are likely not the type that are into designer brands, and vice-versa.
That said, I want to second that JC has a fantastic idea – use them as “wrappers” for other small items – and I think the girls will love them.
It completely depends on the person, and I’d see if you can ask their parents what they think.
Either way though, I think they will appreciate that you got them something you thought they would love instead of just getting them any old thing.
i have to disagree with the majority of commenters here… i guess i’m spoiled but i would be horrified if someone gave me used thrift-shop purses and would probably spend the rest of the day crying (i get a little too upset over poorly-chosen gifts sometimes). my first thought would be if money is that tight that you’re gift shopping in thrift stores instead of proper stores, why couldn’t you have gotten something less expensive but new?
used purses and hand-me-downs are one thing if they’re in the family- mom to daughter, sister to sister, but i would be very unthrilled if someone gifted me a thrift store bag, used for who knows how long by some stranger. it would go right back to salvation army the next day, no question about it.
this is also clothing & accessories-centric. refurb ipods and vintage records can be great gifts, but dusty old purses from the salvation army would make me very unhappy. i know this makes me sound spoiled and awful, but i’m just being honest.
in my very small defense: i never buy used gifts for friends & family, unless it’s something like vintage records. i regularly pass over less-expensive used items in amazon to buy them shrink-wrapped and new for other people. i have no problem with buying used items for myself, but if it’s a big holiday gift i try and buy new whenever humanely possible.
i think it’s fine, if you can just put any items in a bag in the freezer for a few days first so you don’t accidentally give them several creepy crawly extra gifts like bedbugs.
It’s interesting to try and figure out where certain things stand on the continuum of “used” (unacceptable as a gift) to “vintage” (acceptable some of the time) to “antique” (ALWAYS acceptable as a gift) !
@48 cc
I have a solution for you that will stop your tears! Give the items you receive as gifts but don’t want to the Salvation Army. Problem solved!
If the problem is you don’t want to actually physically touch said items, then that’s ok, you just use the wrapping paper or gift bag as a barrier between yourself and the offending item.
Miss Manners is very clear on the etiquette of gift giving and receiving. No gift is obligatory. If a gift is given, then it should be accepted graciously. The giver can then do with the gift whatever he or she wishes. Thank goodness for free disposal.
Quite an interesting question. I’ll admit my first response was, “Eww. No.”
I think I would be slightly offended by a thrift store gift. Now, as one poster said, if I had some type of rare dish collection or something and someone found a missing piece in a thrift store — that might be one thing. But generally speaking, giving or receiving a thrift store gift does not appeal to me.
Hearing “thrift store” to me conjures up an image of a musty store full of other people’s old junk … which does not scream “nice, thoughtful Christmas present” to me.
I give second-hand gifts to my family and to close friends who share my values.
I think the Coach and Kate Spade bags are a great gift. These things can cost hundreds new, and, many Coach fans engage in swaps of these bags, anyway.
I’d say YES YES YES!! You know there are websites like Bag Borrow Steal that have gotten publicity on major talk shows & seem to be socially acceptable – you pay a monthly fee to rent these designer handbags for as long as you want, then return for a different one. Kind of like Netflix for handbags. If that is socially acceptable (who knows how many people have used the bag before you rent it?) then WHY IS A THRIFT STORE NOT!? You get to keep the bag, and there was probably only one owner before you.
That said, the thing about clothes is you can wash them. Handbags you cannot. That might freak them out. I personally don’t buy handbags, shoes, or stuffed animals from thrift stores because I can’t be sure I can get them clean.
I know there’s a fine line between buying a gift that will please someone else and them not being a spoiled brat about something. If they like designer handbags then they should be THRILLED to get one, even if it came from the thrift store. But since I love thrift stores, I am prejudiced toward them, of course. And while I like nice things I don’t particularly care about designer labels.
I think there’s two parts to the question. First, is it okay to buy gifts at a thrift store? Well, if the gift is appropriate for the recipient, then by all means there should be no problem with buying a gift there. (Although in this day and age of bedbug infestations, I might be more cautious with soft goods than I might have been in the past)
Second, will the recipient appreciate the gift, or will they feel slighted or insulted that their gift is “used”. That question is one that has to be answered on a case by case basis. For example, my son is thankfully a gracious recipient (for the most part). He would instantly look to say something nice to the giver, and let them know he appreciated their generosity. This has smoothed over many potentially embarrassing moments, such as the kindly elderly couple that tends to give him inedible, clearly re-gifted candies from past holidays. He always makes them feel like he loves their gift, even when we have to go home and throw out a clump of dusty, stale sugar, so there’s never an awkward moment for the couple.
In this instance, if the two nieces are generally gracious recipients, I would certainly give them the two handbags, although I would never try to pass them off as brand new. Even if they don’t care for the bag itself or feel weird about having a used purse, they should still be able to recognize that you were kind enough to think of them and looked to do something special.
I love thrift stores myself, but I only like items that are to my taste. And there are an awful lot of terrible stuff for sale in thrift stores!
Just having a certain label isn’t a guarantee that a person will love it.
A relative got me an ugly & shrunken sweater at a thrift store once, and they were shocked that I didn’t love it because “look at the label!” But something ugly and tacky is just that, label or no label.
For the example of the bags, I think it could really backfire. If the nieces are really fashionistas, they will not only care about the label, but they will also care about the *style* of the Kate Spade or whatever bag. I doubt they’re going to just love, love, love it just because of the label unless they’re 10 years old, but if that was the case you could just get them anything shiny.
Unless they think you are the coolest Aunt ever style-wise, you’re wiser to just step away from the thrift stores and get them something from Penny’s they can exchange if they don’t like it.
Well, are these bags the sorts of bags that your nieces would actually carry? In your question, all you mention is the name brands of these bags, but nothing about whether or not they fit into the style each of your nieces has developed. There are some really, really unattractive bags made by both companies, and both brands seem a little…middle aged? I’m not sure if they’re the sorts of bags college-aged women would carry — you might want to keep this in mind.
(I might be having a strong reaction here to the fact that my relatives buy things from thrift stores all the time because they’re from “a good brand,” regardless if they fit or if they’re something someone in the family would want. I have no qualms about getting second-hand stuff as gifts, but, as in all shopping, just because it was (originally) expensive, doesn’t mean it’s actually worth having…)
I would say no. If they couldn’t return it if it breaks or is defective (the chances of finding another one in the same store seem very slim to me), then I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Thrift store shopping is great for yourself or your family, (and I would be fine with a used gift), but I know that most of my friends and family wouldn’t be okay with a used gift.
I also have no problem giving or receiving gifts purchased used. My criteria is that it must be in great condition and all the pieces are there. It sounds like the designer purses fit that description. I usually will not buy clothes for gifts new or used. Everyone has their own idea of what they like. I do not want to get the wrong color, size, etc. But toys, games, DVDs, small appliances, household items yes sure why not. I also watch for clearance items all year long too. I have a shelf in the basement that all my finds go on and then I “shop” the shelf in Dec for gifts for everyone. Teacher, neighbor, friend, hostess gifts come from my shelf.
a designer handbag from a thrift store is acceptable some people are weird about wearing other peoples clothes so maybe that’s not a good idea, but a handbag I think is perfectly acceptable
@49, i regularly drop stuff off at salvation army, including many unwanted gifts, both new and used. i prefer the flow to go from me to thrift store, not the other way around.
Yuck.
Has no one heard of bedbugs? Go online to some of the bedbug board discussions and you will see specific stories about people getting bedbugs from thrift stores.
Saving on a few dollars is not worth the potentinal headache and trauma of infesting your house and family with these pests.
My best friend loves vintage items, and frequently buys them for me as gifts. Yes, they are really just higher-end used items, but I have loved very single thing she got me! Most of the items are purses and jewelry, never clothes (which I agree, would be a bit odd) but I think purses are totally fine!
I don’t see anything wrong with buying thrift store/consignment store/vintage store items for a gift, as long as the item is in very good condition and is something that you think the recipient would actually want and use.
I don’t see a problem provided the bags are clean and not obviously a “last season” type (meaning way out of style…some of those bags go out of fashion SO fast!). My mom has a second-hand Prada, and she got a second-hand Coach for her friend…best gifts ever, since the bags are SUPER pricey new.
And, I got my niece a free second-hand Hokey-Pokey Elmo that is A – the best gift we’ve given her and B – her favorite Elmo (they’ve replaced the batteries about 10 times in less than a year).
It sure beats my uncle giving me worthless lottery tickets every year.
This kind of gift giving is incredibly valuable. It’s a way of redistributing resources to people who can find value without another bag being reproduced. It’s frugal, it’s ecofriendly, and depending on the gift – trendy.
Absolutely! I just found a great book for my husband at a thrift store this week. Got it for 35 cents. The book is out of print and selling on Amazon for $6.99 at the moment.
People buy used/like new books on Amazon all the time, so I don’t see any difference. Actually thrifting is better because you can see the condition of the item before buying.
For anyone who’s freaked out by thrift stores, a lot of the stuff you’re getting from the sellers on both Amazon and Ebay are bought at thrift shops for resale purposes. You just don’t know it (well, you didn’t until now! LOL). Nothing wrong with thrift shops. Plenty of new stuff with store tags still on them hanging on those racks. Anyone who gets the heebie jeebies thinking about it, take a walk through and peruse the products. You may be quite surprised at what you’ll find.
Also, as for buying new, do you think no one else has touched or tried on that shirt or pair of shoes you’re looking at in the mall?
I’m with #4. Unless you know for sure the person is ok with thrift store gifts, give them something new for a holiday gift.
OTOH, if you aren’t sure I’d give it as a “hey, look what I found that I thought you might like!” gift-for-no-reason.
I say go for it. As a lover of handbags I wouldn’t care if it came from a thirft store. I’m planning a trip to NY hoping to find better things in the vintage and thrift stores.
First, while I agree that this is obviously a wider audience than just J.D.’s opinion, the website attracts the frugal and would-be frugal. So that needs to be kept in mind.
I definitely agree that you should talk to the girls’ parents and see what they think. It may be perfect (“She’s been talking about how much she wants a bag like her friends have, but it’s way too expensive for a teenager!”) or it may not be (“She’s on an anti-commercialism kick right now and only uses things with the brands cut out. You know how teenagers are.”)
The other thing is that you live in NYC. If these are in like-new condition and the girls would have some problem with them used, you could pass them off as fakes.
Another thing to consider is that you never know who used these. Maybe it was some celebrity’s bag before. If you’re up on the gossip sites/blogs, you could look for a picture of a celeb with the same bag and tell a little white lie like “The person at XYZ Thrift told me so-and-so frequently stops in with donations, and that this was hers.”
I guess it’s ok if that’s how you buy gifts. Just buying 1 or 2 gifts that way might be a little “cheap”. Or maybe if you add a note “I decided to go green this x-mas and buy gifts from a thrift store for everyone on my list…” Too bad this is even a question, a gift is just that, a gift, not a statement.
I would love to be given a Kate Spade bag – no matter where it came from. I think it is fine! Of course based on the above responses it seems to depend on the person receiving the gift…
All of my nieces are under the age of 6 – if I found a really good deal on some high quality toys I’d have no problem buying it at a thrift store (i.e. the old Playmobil doll house they don’t seem to make anymore) for a gift and I know their parents wouldn’t mind.
I like a few suggestions – ask their parents or if you’re really unsure use it as a ‘gift bag’ for an inexpensive gift like lip gloss, scarves, etc.
My sister and I both shop in thrift stores for each other, as we both think paying full-price for new clothing is wasteful. On the other hand, my brother would probably disown me if I gave him an article of clothing from a thrift store as a gift. So my answer is that it depends.
If they’re in nearly-new shape, just don’t mention where you got the bags unless your nieces ask. I feel like the odds are good that they’ll be thrilled and they won’t ask.
@47: This IS a nicer thing they couldn’t normally afford. And the giver got a great deal on it.
A thrifted handbag (Kate Spade! and Coach) are completely reasonable thing to gift to college students. These sorts of items are completely out of their price range and I am sure they will be blown away. On this particular example I would say go for it.
On giving thrifted things in general it would all depend on what it is. Maybe you can begin a new tradition of gifting thrifted items.
A thrift store find by any other name . . .
might be ‘vintage’ or ‘antique’ – and therefore extra valuable. (Sotheby’s doesn’t auction off new stuff, for the most part)
I think thrift stores are a great choice when the gift is unique, quirky – or almost new (as in your case – I think the bags would be a great gift). I think most people would be ok with receiving previously owned accessories, furniture, or other stuff you don’t wear. For clothes – I would steer clear unless you know the person likes special finds or vintage items. So long as you use the same gift giving rules for thrift store finds as you would for other types of gifts (i.e., consider the recipient’s particular needs and wants when gifting) you should do fine.
I really like reading the different response to this post, if you don’t mind, I’d like to share some of the comments on my thrift blog. My readers are always interested in reading differing opinions on thrifting.
As a lifelong thrift store shopper and lover my answer is…ALWAYS, it’s always okay to give gifts from the thrift store. Does this mean all of my gifts are thrifted? Nope.
I want my neices/nephews to spread their creative wings so they are getting fresh new art supplies to use. If I found art supplies and sketch pads in mint condition at the thrift store I would purchase these for them, but I haven’t, so it’s off to retail for me.
To those who think thirft stores are musty and nasty places: Normal Retail shopping is a boring necessary evil for thrift shoppers and lovers. Bleck.
I think it depends on the gift and the recipient. You can find many useless, crappy items in “regular” stores and fabulous things at thrift stores, just like Michelle.
I personally think $5 is too low though. We had gift exchanges/Secret Santa at my last job with a $10 limit and that was almost impossible. I don’t think anyone gave or received a gift with that price limit unless they really knew where to shop.
One of my favorite presents that I’ve ever received was a vintage Gone with the Wind poster a friend picked up in a thrift shop. It was very meaningful, beautiful, and thoughtful. Give it. A gift selected with thoughtfulness and love should always be appropriate, no matter how much you paid for it.
The real quesiton is would they rather have a new faux Coach or a used real Coach. I think they would rather have the real thing, as long as it is in good condition– if they don’t want to use it they don’t have to, but i’m sure they’re friends would be impressed by them having real Coach bags…just my two cents
I have to say that in this case at least, I wouldn’t be as gung-ho about saying “yes! give it to them!” as most people here are. I’m a moderate germophobe, and knowing that purses are extremely bacteria-laden (and not easy to throw in the washing machine like thrift store clothes would be), I wouldn’t be super excited to buy one from a thrift store for myself either. If I did do it, I’d have it professionally cleaned before I used it. A lot of people have suggested calling it ‘vintage’, but you really can’t do that if it’s a fairly recent bag – if it’s only a few years old, it’s not vintage.
That being said, I could really care less about designer names. If I own anything brand-name, it’s only because someone else gave it to me, or I got it on super clearance w/ a coupon, and I just bought it because it was cute, not because it was designer. I’d probably rather have something new and not designer than used and designer.
In other situations, though, I have no problem with thrift store stuff if it was really bought w/ the receiver in mind. You can find awesome things at thrift stores! I would just only give it as a gift if I was sure that the receiver would agree w/ my thoughts on thrift stores. I know a lot of people on my list would be extremely offended if I bought them something used, and whether I agree with that or not, gift giving is about the person you’re giving it to, not about you.
One word. Bedbugs. They’re back in a big way. I do not get anything from thrift, vintage stores that can’t be properly sanitized. Purses fall into that catagory so I wouldn’t be happy with a used handbag no matter how nice.
I am not a fan of thrift stores in any way (forced to buy clothes from there growing up, when we had lots of money, but my stepfather was too frugal to let us ever get new clothes). So since then, I’ve always been a bit anti-thrift. Although I like the idea and I don’t look down on ppl who do (sometimes I envy them!), it’s just not my thing.
That being said, if someone gave me a Kate Spade or Coach bag, I would very happily accept it, even if I knew where it came from. Heck, if I thought for a minute I could buy such things at my local thrift stores, it would definitely change my opinion of them! A great designer bag is a great designer bag, no matter where you get it!
cc says:
i have to disagree with the majority of commenters here… i guess i’m spoiled but i would be horrified if someone gave me used thrift-shop purses and would probably spend the rest of the day crying
Oooh, CC Babcock, is that you?!
I think it is ok when the recipient has told you that it is acceptable.
My friend told me at her baby shower that she had given one of her other ‘mom’ friends a huge bag of baby things that where all bought at a thrift store, or were her own child’s handmedowns.
I figured that if she was willing to give used, she would appreciate getting used items too. And she does.
Some of my other friends would be hugely offended though.
Cash is the best gift
I think the thrift store is only appropriate if you know the receiver well and you are reasonably sure they wouldn’t mind. For example, I have some friends who I shop with together at thrift stores, its great, and they would love to receive a gift I found specifically for them, no matter where it was purchased.
However, I also have one friend who I know is ‘grossed out’ by the thought of wearing clothes that someone previously wore. (She is not frugal at all, but thats a different story.) I wouldn’t get her something from a thrift store because she would not appreciate it.
So I think my point is, you can’t buy someone a gift just because you wouldn’t mind receiving it. Something you’d love, maybe your sister would hate. You must base your gifts on what you believe the other person will appreciate.
I think that the used part is fine. I do think purses would be had to buy for someone else.
I really never carried a purse until I was in my late twenties and done with school.
I know my one aunt bought me purses several times thinking I needed to carry a purse, but they never to used. I did have a well used and enjoyed purse that I got from a roommate, but she lived with me and really knew what I did and did not like. I think she got me started actually carrying a purse. ;)
No matter what you decide you need to remember that gifts are a reflection of you.
It would have been great to see pictures of the bags. If they are in like new condition I would go for it. However, if the leather is a little worn or it appears the least bit dingy you will be labeled as the crazy aunt dumpster diving for gifts!
How are they going to KNOW, if you don’t tell them???
Just askin’.
I wouldn’t buy someone a used gift if it was something I could still buy new. That is to say, if you’re buying someone an antique or vintage item (because they like that sort of thing) then of course, you’ll have to buy a used one, and that’s what would be expected.
But buying someone a used iPod is a bit tacky, I think.
If someone bought me a gift like that, I wouldn’t be horrified and spend the rest of the day crying like some commenters, but I would be thinking, “if you can’t afford to buy me a new iPod, you don’t need to buy me an iPod, you don’t need to to buy me anything at all if it’s a burden for you.”
It all depends though on what you’re buying and who you’re buying it for. There’s no benefit to giving a gift that’s not going to be received well.
I think that vintage handbags are actually a better gift than the newer counterparts. They are more unique and not everyone will have them. If you were my aunt, I would looove to get a vintage bag! :)
One thing you could do is just talk to the women.
“Hey, I saw this really awesome gift for you when I was shopping for me at a thrift store – how would you feel about getting a second hand present?”
You keep some of the surprise, but without the hurt feelings. My family does things differently though – we often discuss in advance what we may like or may be getting for Christmas. Our philosophy is “why waste money and clutter someone else’s house with something they don’t want when you could just talk to them about it?” Some things still are a surprise and some things aren’t.
The purchase was already made, the intention was good, and the gifts are good gifts. Using “someone else’s cast off” can be a little weird for the recipient and you really can’t know what the bag was used for, but simple common sense and inspection of the bags is more than sufficient to decide whether they’re in good shape.
Ultimately, the answer to the question will be resolved when the bags are given. One of three things will happen.
1. You’ll receive a genuine, positive response and you can reasonably assume that you made the right gift choice.
2. You’ll receive a positive response that is not genuine and you’ll think that you’ve made the right choice.
Options 1 and 2 have the same outcome.
3. You’ll receive a negative response and you’ll know that you made the wrong gift choice.
I am sometimes aware that my gift ideas are not well received. Subtle indicators can tip you off. I couldn’t understand, one year, why I had such a bad response when I got a friend the latest Weight Watchers cookbook…
However, most people realize that it’s the thought that counts and decency dictates that they be grateful no matter what they’re being given. It’s good enough to know that someone cares about you enough to have put thought and action into something for you. If somebody doesn’t know this now–because they’re young–they’ll probably learn it down the road.
My advice: give the bags as gifts and continue with being frugal. Their disappointment or satisfaction on one day of the year isn’t worth sacrificing your good spending habits.
Merry Christmas!
Two words for you: CHINATOWN and KNOCKOFFS
Your little nieces will never know the difference! Or you can tell them you got them in Chinatown, and that makes it kind of a fun/NY thing.
It is absolutely OK to buy a Christmas gift from a thrift store! If the item is in good condition, and you have no reservations about passing it along, feel free to buy gift anywhere. Of course, the gift receipient’s personal taste is always a factor.
It is just as easy to buy a worthless gift brand new as it is to buy one at a garage sale.
You know, if people are that worried about bedbugs we should all stay home and not travel at Christmas – because hotels are the worst way to expose yourself, even nice hotels.
The thing about gifts is that every person thinks their own personal preferences are universal. I would be SO HAPPY to get used gifts, or useful ones – but the gift-givers in my life think used or useful = not “gifty”.
It really is the thought that counts – think about (or ask!) the recipient, and do what they want, and you’ll be giving them respect and understanding. Trying to figure out a universal rule of what makes a good gift is useless.
(On our required gift-giving list we have a mix of people who only want shiny, new, expensive trendy things and people who prefer used. We try to accomodate.)
@Tyler #99 – see, I am horrified by the e-waste of the random electronic crap people buy for me. If i want something like an iPod, I ask my boyfriend – because he’s willing to do the work to actually find a refurbished one in good condition, instead of thinking “wow that’s a lot of work I’ll just buy one of course she wants new, wanting used is weird.”
It’s not the thing itself that’s valuable, it’s how it expresses the relationship between people – and we have way too many obligatory gift relationships that say “I don’t actually know you or share your values but I am pretending we’re close.”
I’d much rather get a used gift that is useful vs a new gift that is useless.
One of my cousins, used to always buy me some crap from the middle aisle of the department store..you know the snuggies and knicknacks and whatever is being pushed that season.
Those items went right to the salvation army on our way home, so I can vouch for the fact that there is plenty of new stuff at thrift stores too.
If the recipient is OK with it then great. If not then you’re giving a gift that the person won’t like. Thats not a good gift. Frugality is fine but the point of giving a gift is to give something the person wants and will appreciate.
Rosa,
I would suggest that anyone staying in a hotel should leave luggage in the car and check under the sheets for small bloodstains before deciding to stay in the room.
As for thrift store/used/ebay type items, I never order anything from NYC or Ohio, two places that are having a huge bedbug problem. If it comes from somewhere else, then used is worth considering.
L
My main concern with thrift store “designer” finds is that there is a very high probability that these items are fakes. I received a fake handbag as a gift once, and it went directly to the Salvation Army drop box.
The only time it would be acceptable to buy a gift at a thrift store would be if that would be appreciated by the recipient! If you are doing it to save yourself money or because you can’t afford it then it is a terrible idea. It would be better not to get anything.
Don’t get an animal rights activist a fur coat even if you’d like to receive one. Don’t get a fashion diva last years designs just because you got it at a good price.
You should also know the person very well. I personally do not like wearing used clothing. Get me something like that and it will become a rag. But almost no one but my wife knows that. Also realize that you would be giving up all the warranties and returnability you get with a new item. You should be prepared to cover that yourself.
I don’t have anything against thrift stores but I think buying gifts there is generally a bad idea.
As long as it’s in good condition, why not? Fortunately, I don’t gift to people who are “above” second-hand items.
I would rather give and/or receive an excellent, thoughtful, “perfect” gift second-hand than get another mug, candle, set of smelly bath crap (that “all” women like), etc. that is brand new.
I’d also rather give/receive the same instead of a gift card.
No matter where I’m shopping, if I see something and it screams someone’s name, if the price is right, I’ll get it.
In the same vein, I’m not going to go to Goodwill and buy a designer handbag and just give it to someone because it’s designer and was cheap if I don’t know anyone who would love it.
I would ask your nieces parent (your sibling) about it. They will know best what your nieces will think.
If it’s something they’ll really like and they’re in great shape, why not?
Buying a Christmas gift from a Thrift store is okay but there are things you need to seriously consider. One is that the gift will not be returnable if they don’t happen to like it. If it’s something to wear and it doesn’t fit they won’t be able to exchange it for a different size or a different color. Plus there are no warranties or gaurantees on second hand items. Pick and choose your gift carefully and know the gift recipient almost as well as you know yourself or your outstanding frugality and thriftiness could backfire on you.
I think if the item is in like new condition it is fine if it came from a thrift store! It is better to give someone a thoughtful and classy gift (that you can actually afford) rather than some dumpy-looking brand-new sweater that was on a clearance rack! I am frugal not “cheap” what matters to me is that something is a good value. I wouldn’t mind a second-hand book, retro kitchen item, fashion accessory, piece of furniture, or lamp because I have several of those things (I’m 25).
If you are really unsure, sell the bags on ebay and use the money to get something brand-new.
I’ll agree with some of the other commenters here. It really comes down to who you’re buying the gift for and the quality of the present. If it’s a designer bag at a great discount, I don’t see a problem with it. But some people would rather have a new bag from an Ann Taylor-type store than a second hand bag from Coach. Then, there are some other people who are into thrift stores and would actually love the fact that you got it there.
It’s always okay, in my opinion. I don’t see why people are so hung up on WHERE gifts come from. They’re not mandatory, and especially in this economic climate. People just don’t have the means to spend a fortune on your anymore. For someone to be upset that something came from the thrift store is just ungrateful (IMO).
I think it’s just fine as long as (1) the item looks new and the recipient would have no idea where it’s from or (2) the item is obviously used but you know the recipient well enough to know that she/he wouldn’t mind that it came from a thrift store.
I buy gifts from thrift stores that are clearly used for people that I know won’t mind. For example, rather than getting my sister’s child 1 new book, I bought him about 20 used books for the same price as 1 new one. The kid was thrilled and young enough to not know the difference, and my sister shops at thrift stores and couldn’t care less.
When I was younger, I would have been THRILLED with a designer bag, even if it was used. I couldn’t have afforded a new one, and it would have been great to have been “in style” like that. You could try to find out if your nieces would be more happy or more grossed out by asking their parents or by casually asking them one day if they ever shop at thrifts stores. Or you could mention to them that you bought yourself a fancy handbag at a thrift store and see how they react.
I suppose the one problem with getting a “name” brand like Coach or Kate Spade from a Thrift store is that unless you are an EXPERT, you have NO way of knowing whether the bag is authentic…or just a fake.
It’s very popular for scammers to re-create brands like Coach, Dolce & Gabbana, and Kate Spade and re-sell to them the public for slightly less prices. An unsuspecting person will buy the bag, thinking it’s the real deal, and indeed, it looks legit – all the logos and tags are there. But a trained expert knows what to look for (ie, a holographic authenticity label, or the sort of materials used).
So you might go to a thrift store and buy what you THINK is a real Coach bag…and instead, you’re giving your loved one a used fake. Kinda defeats the purpose of buying from a thrift store.
It depends on what you are giving and who you are giving it to. Really, a gift should be something the other person appreciates. If you don’t know the person well enough to know whether they would be offended by it, xnay on the thriftay.
As far as purses I think they are a pretty finicky personal preference thing. Like others said, just because it’s a Coach or Kate Spade doesn’t mean that particular purse is one your neices necessarily like or would use taste-wise. That is, they are all not “equal”. I would hate someone picking out purses for me.
In this particular example, I would think they are knockoffs (based on seeing so many at flea markets and not being a bag person (as it were) in the least.
In general, giving: depends. Probably not, although last year I gave my husband some legos I found for free and he loved them.
In general, getting: SURE. It’s gonna be awesome, because it shows thought.
Re: the bags, I think it’s probably fine, but to each their own. Obviously, there are a ton of different views on this, and it’s impossible to know where your nieces stand on this. You can probably sort of tell by their personalities – are they artsy, thrifty type people? Or are their bedrooms filled with shiny new stuff? I love thrift stores and find it kind of easy to tell which people in my life feel the same. If all else fails, mention to them that you went thrifting and see how they react. I’ve found most people have one of two reactions – put off/bored (my family members who think thrift stores are gross places full of other people’s nasty/substandard castoffs) or “Oooh. Where’d you go? What did you find? Did I tell you about the great coat I found at the Salvation Army?” It’s pretty easy to tell which camp someone falls into by simply mentioning the topic.
Re: bedbugs, I have to admit, the bedbug resurgence has put a damper on what used to be an unabashed love of thrift stores and used items and has taken a little bit of the joy out of it for me, though I still buy a ton of used stuff. From researching online, I’ve found an easy way to make sure you’re safe is to throw an item in the dryer on high for 20 minutes. I know some people will be horrified at my suggestion to throw a designer bag in the dryer, but I’d rather do that than have the fear of creepy crawlies in my head whenever I look at the item. You could throw them in a pillowcase to protect them before throwing them in the dryer. I do this with any thrift store item that can go in a dryer. The ones that can’t, I inspect carefully for any signs of bedbugs.
One more comment – I have to agree with the people who are saying these bags are most likely knockoffs, unless you are and expert and know otherwise for sure.
Unless you know them to be authentic, I would say send them back to the thrift store from whence they came, or keep them for yourself, and find a different gift. IMO, knockoffs are tacky new and just plain unacceptable used (as a gift, anyway)
Haven’t made my way thru the responses yet and I’m betting there are all sorts of people who say, “it’s the thought that counts!”. There’s a lot of truth to that.
However, I wouldn’t give a used item for Christmas. If I happened to be browsing thru the store any other time of year and came upon the purses, I’d pick ’em up and simply give them to my neices with an explanation. “Oh … I found these and I know your love of Kate Spade … do you like?”.
Yes, I think it’s tacky to give them as Christmas gifts.
Same thing with re-gifting. Re-gifting is okay if you ADMIT to it. If you were to say, ‘someone gave this to me and while it’s not my taste/size/colour/etc, I thought you might be interested like it … and I definitely want it to go to someone who would love it.”
If the gift is in good quality (whether new or used) and something the recipient can enjoy/appreciate, I don’t see why the source of the gift should matter.
That said, I can easily envision other people not seeing this the same way so it may also be dependent upon the person receiving the gift.
Unless you know 100% these bags are authentic-then no.
I’ve found that high dollar bags @ the thrift are generally fakes-especially if they are in good condition.
My family and my husbands are total opposite in this regard! Mine: Very frugal and very practical. Perhaps too much so!! We usually ask each other what we want/need for Christmas. We usually ask for practical things we genuinely need. Finding something nice (key word: nice!)at a thrift store or garage sale would be bragged about! “I got you this deluxe baking pan like you wanted for only $3 at garage sale!”. Seriously! Husbands family: Gifts must be a surprise. Do not ask what someone wants/needs. Practical gifts are an insult. Gifts should be more “frivolous”. A gift from a thrift store? Good grief NO! Even buying a new gift on sale at a good price (from a regular store) is frowned upon because “then you did not spend enough” and you would need to buy something else to make up for it! Yes, polar opposites!
As mentioned by others, just because it’s a Coach or Kate Spade bag does not mean it’s attractive. If her nieces care about labels, they probably care about having the latest styles, and I would bet that the bags in question are at least a few years old.
Personally, as a college student I didn’t have much need for a purse; most of the time I was carrying a backpack. Her nieces probably carry laptop bags most of the time.
My gut would be not to give the bags as primary Xmas gifts. But in the interest of teaching thrifting, give them later on as a “saw this and thought you might like it” offering, and use the opportunity to talk about where they came from, money saved, etc.
Haven’t read all the comments. Hate to be a party pooper, but 99.99% of designer purses at thrift stores are fakes, sold at “purse parties” or the like. Kate Spades and Coaches are among the usual knock-off suspects.
I would give the purses to the nieces (after figuring out if they are authentic) as a side gift.
Many items at thrift stores don’t reveal their provenance: they could be from an antique store, a vintage store (both OK for some reason). Many items are new, some with tags.
If you’re uncomfortable, you could “white lie” and say they are from Buffalo Exchange.
I don’t know, this sort of reminds me of giving something along the lines of a fruit cake… sorry!
Personally I have no problem with thrift stores and have found some great bargains there: clothes for my family, furniture, decorative items, etc.
What bothers me about this example is the power of advertisers. Personally I think many people are influenced by ads touting a brand name which often costs a small fortune. This to me is materialism at its worst. That a person is impressed by a brand of clothes, handbags, make-up, car, etc, and may not feel ‘worthy’ unless they have those, has always bothered me.
I love craft shops and bargain shops which offer good quality and often unique items that I find much more interesting than designer things….
Maybe I’m too narrow in my thinking, but having lived overseas for over 30 years – in both developing and prosperous countries – I’ve been in places where workers make those designer bags and know the workers are paid a pittance compared to the end price of the bag. As a matter of principle, I buy locally crafted – and unique – items when possible.
But I digressed…is it ok to buy Christmas gifts from a Thrift Store? If I found the perfect gift for someone, yes, I’d buy it there. But while gift shopping I’d consider the recipient’s overall personality before buying their gift from a thrift store. :)
i wouldn’t give a $100 or $10 for any handbag, real, fake, authentic or otherwise…and sorry they are made in china just like tons of other useless crap that people won’t re-purpose or re-gift because it’s (gasp) used!
I don’t think my nieces would be surprised I got their gifts from a thrift shop. My whole family knows of my financial situation, and they know I dress myself really well on my thrift and consignment store finds.
I’m not worried about bedbugs- these bags have been in my posession for over a month now, and there have been no problems yet.
To answer the questions: they are both in fantastic shape. The Coach bag definitely real. If the Kate Spade bag is fake, it’s a really good one.
I’ve decided to give them as gifts, just not the only gift. I’ve crocheted them both scarves to match other gifts I know they’re getting, and picked up a few little things that I know they’ll use and love, to put inside. In essence, the bags are wrapping. If I sense they have any issue with it, I’ll offer to take them back and get them something else.
Thanks!
Everyone says it is the thought that counts! If money is an issue and you really put a lot of thought into the gift, why should it matter?
What’s the purpose of the gift? To demonstrate your frugality to your nieces, or to give them an appreciated gift? Presumably we give gifts that will be of some value or use to the receiver. I mean the whole crap about the thought that counts only matters when the gift can be appreciated or useful to the receiver. If not, then it is a waste of money, no matter if you bought the item used or not.
The other question is why are you trying to demonstrate frugality by buying a label? The label only matters to other people’s perception of what you own, and are you in the habit of buying things for yourself for other people’s enjoyment or your own? Demonstrating frugality would dictate the latter.
I also echo that the item has a high probability of being a fake, in which case you are demonstrating another bad lesson. If you are ok with fakes, then you are ok with trying to portray an image of being able to live beyond your means. Not a frugal principle.
Personally, as long as it is something that genuinely fits them as a gift and not just something cheap you grabbed off the shelf thoughtlessly {I have received these and it’s disappointing even though I should be grateful they thought of me) it should be fine. I think thrift stores are a great place to find gifts as long as you do it mindfully. I think Brian comment #50 said it very well. There is no obligation to give a gift let alone a new one they probably wouldn’t like as much as the wonderful bags you found at the thrift store.
A gift that may not be used or appreciated isn’t a bargain, regardless of what a “deal”it was ($70 pens for $5).
hahaha, this topic gets more responses than
– world domination
– one’s relationship with money
– eating cheaply
I would use the bags as the “gift bag/wrapping” and toss something small, inexpensive, and brand-new inside. Like make-up items, lip balm, whatever a college kid “needs” these days that fits inside a purse.
I’m going to disagree with the majority here. Not for a Christmas present!! I buy a thrift stores myself but would be offended– “My aunt went shopping at a Salvation Army?? That’s being a bit of a cheapskate, hm? Not even Christmas is a reason for you to spend a little bit more money on me (make a bit of a sacrifice for my enjoyment)?” Christmas feels like a chance to spend a little more than usual to get something special for your loved ones– getting something for a few dollars should NOT be the point. Unless you’re known in your family to be very poor, I wouldn’t do it. This may be buying into a consumerist fantasy but it still may affect how your nieces feel about your gift.
One other thing to think (and ask) about is that often the whole point of designer items is that they are a status symbol rather than a quality symbol– so if you have the bag it mean you have enough money to have the bag. It’s different from quirky vintage clothing that way.
I’d give another gift, perhaps with the bag “on the side”.
I think you have to know the people you are buying for and know what they will appreciate it. While it may be a great deal and something they’d never afford on their own, if they are designer yet out of style/season they may not be willing to use them anyway. If they are just going to sit in their closet unappreciated, then it was a waste on your part to get/give them. However, if these are girls who don’t care if things are the latest styles, then go for it. If they aren’t going to appreciate it then you may as well not have gotten them anything at all.
Hey- I would totally, 100% love a great new bag no matter WHERE it came from. I found a Guess bag for $8 at a thrift store and STILL love it after 4 years.
It really depends on your family. If they wouldn’t mind, then go for it. Try grabbing a new wallet that matches if you feel bad about it, or something small to go with it.
i like it
@134 Michelle
Awww. You’re an awesome aunt. I hope your nieces appreciate you!
It depends on several factors. I would prefer a new current trend inexpensive bag over a several year old Coach style. So I would just be cautious regarding the motive behind the purchase e.g., perceived deal on brand name.
I love thrift shopping, however I always gift new items. At the end of the day I am trying to find a gift the person will love.
If the gift is something you KNOW they will LOVE (even if it is used), then yes.
On a side note, over the years I have asked to stop exchanging gifts with many people. It was a decision that I don’t regret. I was often getting items I did not want or need and spending money that I would have preferred to go to other places. With the money you save you can buy yourself what you really want instead of getting a closet full of stuff that you don’t want or need. Instead I would rather spend time at a dinner or with friends and focus on that instead of the gift.
I also would prefer something well made, frugal and interesting from a thrift store over 99.9% of the crap in department stores.
JD can you tell us more about the 5$ gift exchange? What kinds of gifts do people give? Gift giving is supposed to be fun, not stressful ohmygodithastobeperfect. That sounds like it will still be well thought out and creative but without the pressure :)
In general, thrift store gifts are only OK if you find something very special or hard to find that you are certain the giftee wants or if you are giving to a another thrifty person. In any other case I would give it as “I found this and thought of you. Would you use it?” and not as a holiday gift. College age girls who like Coach and Kate Spade handbags usually aren’t thrifty.
Holiday present discussions contain all kinds of pat truisms: it’s the thought that counts, give something you would like, etc. IMO, these things aren’t true. Gifts should be something tailored to the recipient, not lessons on how to live or a reflection of your values.
In Utopia none of us would be buying presents for others if we weren’t specifically inspired or close enough to know exactly what they would love. Here in the real world we all face this problem during the holidays. After years of looking for meaningful, interesting, unique, add-your-own-adjective gifts for family members when I have no idea what to buy, I’ve learned to let it go. If I have a brilliant thought I go with it. If not, I buy returnable or generic gifts or gift cards.
Why stress yourself?
I think a thrift store gift is fine, if you are buying something special there such as a collectible or even special piece of vintage clothing, if that is something the recipient is into. However, to just go there and buy a shirt or something which is contemporary, I would say no – get that at a regular store, even a low-price store, over a thrift store. Thrift stores can be great places to find the unusual or special item but certainly depends on whom you are giving the gift to and should be judged accordingly.
I’m revisiting this a day later because, in fact I listed a bunch of designer purses on craigslist this morning, and in face I am probably buying used sweaters for a niece. I agree that the gift should be tailored to the recipient (it seems to me that there is now no doubt that the nieces would appreciate said gift). And I certainly dont buy the theory, being on a fixed income, that its my oblibagation to suffer (sacrifice) for someone elses enjoyment. Not what christmas is about in my world.
someone is going to get almost new/gently used designer purses, which I certainly hope will be given as gifts to someone who can appreciated them, for about twenty cents on the dollar (perhaps less). And my niece will be thrilled with the sweaters found in her color.
I would say as long as they are in good condition and don’t have any wear and tear on them I would say go for it. Though, I have bought designer purses at thrift stores before so perhaps I am a little more accepting but when I was in college I would have loved to have a nice bag and wouldn’t have been put off by a thrift store find. I also thinks it shows a little more thought than just picking up a gift card to a mall or something. You went to the thrift store, looked through all of the stuff available and then found something you thought they would love. I would say go for it.
Generally speaking there is an expectation that Christmas or Birthday gifts are new. There are some exceptions:
* Pre-defined family holiday traditions i.e. JD’s family and others that have price caps
* “White Elephant” gift exchanges
* A gift for someone that is a collector of items that are traditionally found used
* Memorabilia
In this case it sounds like you haven’t already given them used items, it would be best to give them as a non-occasion ” I saw these and thought of you”. Maybe you could start a new tradition of giving gently used gifts in your family.
You asked if it was tacky to purchase gifts at a thrift store.
No it is not.
Many others have indicated that condition is important – and I don’t think that you would have purchased these as gifts if the condition were anything other than Excellent!
Do not feel guilty. It is the thought that counts.
/r
I would rather get a good quality used item than a new “dollar tree” item. That’s my take.
But this is a PF blog and one where many people are really frugal and have that mindset. I thought everyone in my family did, until one day my sister made a comment about giving used things for Christmas presents…”What’s the difference between shopping at a thrift store or just going into your closet and pulling out something and giving it to them?” It took me back, but I realized that there isn’t much difference.
Since then, I’ve pretty much tried to find new things. But alas, if I can’t find something good (and affordable), I don’t buy much at all. We don’t exchange with anyone bu immediate family, however.
I don’t care about designer purses, though.. I wouldn’t recognize a Coach purse (or the other one) though I do like purses. I don’t watch tv, so the advertisements are kind of lost on me. But I do like purses.
For someone older, I’d probably just buy something new.
The person who mentioned fruitcake…there were people who actually liked it!
It depends on the situation. If it’s agreed upon before hand it’s ok. I buy gifts through the United Way Program for people living in shelters during Christmas. In their gift specs, they require you to buy a NEW gift, as this is the only gift the receiver will be getting. The older folks (over 60 crowd) usually request toiletries, slippers and clothing. This is one situation where you SHOULD BUY NEW.
If the niece would appreciate the fact that the handbags are designer, or just would like the style of the bags, and the bags are in very good condition and clean, I see no problem with it. But maybe broach the subject with them ahead of time, talk to them about the great deals on great stuff you get at thrift stores, see what they think of thrift store stuff.
In general, I think gifting something from the thrift store is tricky. As a lot of commenters have said, a lot of people have concerns about wearing something someone else wore. (Me, I run everything through the wash before I wear it, cos even brand new stuff could have been tried on by someone at the store.) Then again, celebrities often get the fancy stuff they wear on loan, and multiple people have worn the same garmet. I suspect most of the people who have issues with wearing thrift store stuff would jump at the chance to wear some of the elegant stuff that celebrities wear. And, ya know, few guys quibble about renting tuxes instead of buying them, even tho rental tuxes have certainly been worn a lot. So, I think some of the people who claim to have an issue with wearing something “that’s been worn before” really have an issue with some other aspect of the secondhand clothes concept. Likely some part of the problem is ‘I do so love new clothes’ combined with ‘ending is better than mending’.
Really, if someone has the nerve to ask you where you bought their present, that’s just tacky in itself, unless there really is something wrong with it & it needs to be returned where it came from. There is no problem with giving a thrift store gift if it is in fantastic shape. You shouldn’t give gifts that need any kind of repair or have any kind of wear or smell. Barring that, there should be no problem with it. I have received more than my own share of ridiculously thrifty gifts from cheap relatives…and I’m talking about things like a digital clock & calendar encased in an acrylic frame that actually had a plaque with someone else’s name on it (and it was a name I completely did not recognize).
It would really depend on the recipient and the occasion. Personally, if I was the recipient, I wouldn’t care, even for almost any occasion, as long as the item wasn’t in rough shape.
A simple rule has always helped me both for re-gifting and thrift store gifting, if the receiver would purchase it for themselves or if I have reason to believe they would, I have no problem purchasing it for them as a gift.
I am in my mid 20s, and when I was an undergrad, while I might have appreciated a brand-new looking designer bag, regardless of where it came from, many of my classmates would not have. Granted, at my school affluence was the norm, so my view may have been skewed. Now out of school, I’d think it even better, since the value of a dollar is much more apparent to me.
I echo what has been said about asking their parents for guidance, but if that is something you’d rather not do or if the answers have not been clear, you might consider where your nieces go to school, and how they, and their peers, are paying for their education.
I say this because, in my experience, college students who work during school to pay for tuition or expenses have a very different view on spending than students who have all of their expenses paid by their parents. If your nieces have received grants/scholarships, but most of their friends work, then secondhand bags would likely be more accepted.
Finally, I LOVE LOVE LOVE JC’s idea of using the bags as “gift bags”, and putting a few purse staples in the bags. I think a few luxe (but inexpensive) purse items will really show your nieces that this gift is something that you took time to think about and personalize for them, rather than simply trying to save money on their gifts.
Off the top of my head, I recommend Victoria’s Secret breath mints, which are about $3 and come in a pretty tin, a $5-10 gift card to Starbucks, and my favorite, Rimmel Vinyl Lip gloss, which is about $4 at Target. Target also has some cute travel sized nail files.
Giving gifts from a thrift store is most definitely tacky unless you already know the recipient is a vintage shopper and appreciates that kind of thing.
I’d venture to say most kids don’t get the concept of vintage and would be appalled at a thrift store purse.
thrift store shopping for the holidays is not tacky.
its amazing what you can find– especially vintage designer dresses :)
you could end up influencing your nieces in a positive way to shop at thrift stores and appreciate reusing/ recycling/ upcyling/etc.
90% of what i wear comes from thrift stores… many times i find awful styles with beautiful fabric and then reconstruct the item into something more “me”
there’s so much stuff out there already…. http://www.storyofstuff.com
This subject just came up when our brand new granddaughter was given a gift from a friend of mine of 3 sleepers from a thrift store. The giver advised that these were used and that she always shopped at Thrift stores. I was thrilled, because my personal belief is that we should re-use things (especially sleepers that last a whopping few weeks) and also it was a great introduction to being frugal right at the beginning of a life. It may be that you have to pick and choose who you would give a used gift to, (I’m sure mother-in-laws would be horrified!) but I do think it re-enforces your personal philosophy of “waste not – want not” Cheers…Diana Young, author of Financial Fitness for Beginners.
I read all the comments and I have one answer -I hope the person- CC- who said she would cry all day if she got a thrift store purse was joking. Otherwise- I hope someone gets her some serious help. If you don’t like something, get rid of it. Crying over a gift all day – unless you are 7 years old- really? .
My mother in law told me that she saw fantastic second hand baby clothes in the thrift shop for my baby. Now I am trying to figure out how to say her “no, second hand baby clothes will not be for my kid” without hurting her feelings. Any suggestions?
While I am a huge, big-time thrifter – by choice, even though we are extremely well-off financially, I am certainly NOT going to spend more on someone than I want to just because they want the “designer” stuff. I, too, like so many of the other commenters have found amazing things in thrift – like-new and barely, if ever used/worn. We are such a wasteful country – and it’s the reason why so many people are struggling financially – they just don’t feel that something “used” regardless of how lightly – is good enough for them. Do you know how many of those girls/women walking around right now with a Louis Vitton bag on their shoulder really don’t “own” them – the banks do as they are still paying them off on their credit card!! I’d rather pick one up at thrift for $50, clean it up and “own” it!
I think it depends on the item , it’s condition and the receiver.If it’s clean and like new ( sometimes you can find items with their tag still on or their box still intact)then how would they know anyway ? But if it’s something in used condition then it should only be a “just because” gift not a holiday or special occasion gift Unless you are gifting to someone you know would appreciate it and not mind the 2nd handedness of it.
It would be fine in my immediate family but I wouldn’t do it for my extended family members or friends.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a bowl that has got $4 price tag given to me as a souvenir from Fiji trip by my sister in law’s daughter who stayed with us for 6 months! She said it was from Fiji, but because I saw the price and she said the truth that she bought it at a salvation army shop (thrift shop)! And then she started to make a justification by saying that she likes to buy things from thrift shop and bought a vase for her dad to give when she goes back to her country. It was just the night before she flew back to her country, so it was kind of leaving present as well. I like buying things bargain at thrift shops for myself for fun, but would not buy things for other people especially for ‘thank you’ present, ‘leaving present’, souvenir etc.. Some people are just too frugal or insensitive. The bowl has even got a flaw. I wonder whether I should give her like $4 from a thrift shop for Christmas present. Would she get a point then? Of course, I wouldn’t give her like that, but I think it is just so bad taste.