J.D.'s note: In the olden days at Get Rich Slowly, I shared reader stories every Sunday. I haven't done that since I re-purchased the site because nobody sends them to me anymore. But earlier this year, Mike did. I love it. I hope you will too.
Earlier this year, I sent my wife a text message: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how freaked out would you be if I quit my job this afternoon?"
My wife and I had only been married a short while, but she'd known since our second date that I didn't plan to work in my traditional job until normal retirement age. She also knew that I hadn't been very happy at work in recent months.
We're very compatible financially — both savers raised in working-class families that didn't always have a lot. We make a point of having what we like to call "Fun Family Finance Day" from time to time. On Fun Family Finance Day, we do everything from competitively checking our credit scores to discussing questions that get at the root of our money mindsets to help us create our goals.
But this question wasn't part of the plan. Not then.
And it was never on any of the lists of questions that we'd discussed with each other. It was like a pop quiz, a pothole in the smoothest relationship road I'd ever traveled...and I was the one putting it there.
Dreams Remain Dreams Without Doing
My wife and I rarely argue, but when we do it's usually about food. It's the kitchen and the grocery store that are our battleground. Our finances are fine. Thankfully, when you're confident in the life you've created and the person you chose to build it with, it's a lot easier to be honest about what's on your mind.
That still doesn't always mean you get the answer you want. Or the answer you were expecting. She responded: "Wait what. Kinda. What would you do?"
A completely reasonable and fair question. Not to mention one that I'd probably have to get comfortable answering from a lot more people.
I think my immediate reaction was: We talk about this stuff all the time, where is my, "No worries baby, YOLO!"? (I must have watched too many romcoms back before we cut cable from our lives.)
Being a grownup, it turns out, is actually really hard sometimes. I was about to learn that talking about something, and actually doing it, are a world apart.
Life is full of dreamers and doers. Sometimes those two personalities cross over. But there are plenty of people who go through life talking about so many things they'll never have the courage to try — or the discipline and determination to follow through with.
Which person was I? The dreamer? The doer? Or that fortunate combination of both?