Changing careers: The grass isn’t always greener

Earlier this year, my husband and I made a decision that will change the course of our lives, for better or for worse. After 10 years in the mortuary industry, we decided that it was time for my husband to make a change. He was frustrated, burnt out, and tired of working weekends, late nights, and holidays. He began to wonder if there was something else that he could be doing to make a living, and started combing over job postings online. One day, he found something that he thought could work.

“I want to work in sales,” he said. I looked at him in disbelief. It was hard for me to picture my husband selling anyone anything. After all, when I worked with him at the mortuary, I would often hear him steering people away from all of the expensive options. Instead, he would listen to their needs and suggest services that wouldn't require them to spend any more than necessary. And, he never put an ounce of pressure on anyone. It just wasn't his style.

“Are you sure?” I wanted to be supportive, but I also wanted to be realistic. Greg has so many amazing qualities but I didn't think that a knack for sales was one of them. But, after talking for weeks and months about his potential career change, I started to wonder if it was the right move. After all, if he succeeded, he had the potential to make a lot more money than he was making as a mortician. And to be honest, the thought of my husband getting a huge raise started to sound pretty darn good. So, I gave him the green light. “You'll never know unless you try,” I said. And, he did.

He started training to sell life insurance and investments at the beginning of June by studying and preparing for the various licenses that would be required. Then, by the beginning of July, he started the classroom portion of his training. And while I thought that things were going relatively well, I could tell that something was wrong. He looked tired, stressed, and unusually miserable for days at a time. So, after several weeks of training, I confronted him. “Honey, what's wrong?”

The Grass Isn't Always Greener

“I absolutely hate it…” The man I love was absolutely beside himself with worry and shame. “I've ruined our lives,” he cried. “I don't know what to do.”

So, we talked for hours and tried to figure out exactly what he hated about his new job in sales. And the truth was, he hated all of it. His new job required that he call 40 people per day on the phone in an effort to set up appointments. And while he knew that ahead of time, he found that the idea of it and actually doing it were two entirely different things. He hated calling people he knew. He hated calling people that he didn't know. He just hated calling people. Period.

He hated it so much, in fact, that he didn't want to go back. And we decided that it didn't make sense for him to continue. Since it was a sales job and 100 percent commission, he wasn't getting paid to be there anyway. So, the following Monday he went to his new office, packed up his belongings, and came back home.

So, there we were. At age 34, my husband left his stable and well-paying job at a mortuary in search of greener pastures. And unfortunately, the greener pastures turned out to be just an illusion, and simply out of reach for someone with his personality and temperament. And since his old employer had already hired someone else to replace him, we knew that there was no way to get his old job back. So, he decided to look for a new job, a different job. And we put our heads together to figure out what his next step should be.

Back Where We Began

After briefly looking for jobs in another industry, my husband had some sort of breakthrough. He began to miss directing funerals. He missed helping people. And, he missed the industry that he was entirely sick of not too long ago. Sure, working in a mortuary isn't perfect. As we all know, no job is. But, while it isn't perfect, it is reliable and well-paying. They can't ship his job out of the country or force him to relocate. And unless people stop dying altogether, there's only a slim chance that he could ever get laid off or downsized. It's also a job that comes with a lot of perks that have nothing to do with money, like the ability to help people who are often experiencing the worst day of their lives. And, while my husband is awful at sales, he's amazing with people who are hurting, afraid, and stressed out. Like it or not, the mortuary business is where his heart is. It's where he belongs. And we're lucky that it's an industry that is almost always hiring.

After a week of looking, he was offered a job with similar pay, hours, and benefits about 30 minutes away from home. After what amounts to a three-month hiatus from the working world, we'll soon pick up almost exactly where we began. That is, of course, except for one large, life-changing exception. We have to move.

Big Mistakes Have Consequences

Since Greg's new job requires that he be on call part of the time, we have to move. So, after countless tears and seemingly endless heartache, we put our house on the market. Because of the decisions we've made, we have to leave the home where we brought our daughters home from the hospital for the very first time. We have to leave the house we love, and the place where nearly all of our memories from the last six years have taken place.

And although we know that we're only human and allowed to make mistakes, we now know that big mistakes, like this one, have consequences. We've learned that the grass isn't always greener, and that sometimes you just have to learn to be happy with what you have, whether it's your career or your car or your house.

The Silver Lining

The good news, I suppose, is that the move will take place before my oldest starts kindergarten next year. We're also moving to an area with some of the highest rated schools in the state, and a place that I happen to like. In fact, it's a place that we've often fantasized about living, but couldn't because it would be too far from work.

My husband starts his new job next week. And he's starting it with a new appreciation for everything that he has. No, his job isn't perfect, but no job on Earth is. Every job has its perks…and its downfalls. But sometimes it's OK to be happy with what you have, instead of wishing for something different, or something more. We know that now, and we're excited to put this all behind us and move on. And, at the end of the day, sometimes a job is just a job. We have each other. We have our family. We have our health. And, truthfully, those are the only things that ever mattered anyway.

Have you ever made a bad decision that altered the course of your life? If so, would you go back in time and change it?

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Elizabeth
Elizabeth
6 years ago

Great post – thanks for sharing! Sometimes we have to step off our own lawns in order to appreciate what we have. I think it’s better in the long run that fresh perspective than always wonder “what if…

Best wishes with the new job and the move!

Jon @ MoneySmartGuides
Jon @ MoneySmartGuides
6 years ago

Buying my house altered my life. Before I bought it, I was doing well with increasing my savings each year and working towards financial independence. But then I bought too much of a house that completely put the brakes on my financial life. I went from being able to save money each month to struggling just to get by and not saving a dime. I’m in much better shape now, but I will never get those years of not saving anything back.

Lisa Aberle
Lisa Aberle
6 years ago

I’m with Jon. I have written about our money pit dream house before. If we wouldn’t have bought it, our other house would have been paid off by now, and we would have had lots of padding in our savings accounts.But it’s all worked out so far, so we’re just trying to be more careful from now on.
Thanks for sharing so honestly.

Onereasontwo
Onereasontwo
6 years ago

Jon/Carla – Thanks for writing about financial woes that came from buying a house. I am in a condo I bought in 2006 that is now worth $80,000 less than what I paid for it and due to some setbacks, my income has not dramatically increased since that time as well. I’m not saving anymore, feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck even though I make decent money, have leaned out all of my expenses, and asked for a raise at work. Any thoughts on how to get out of this nightmare and not be stuck in a holding pattern… Read more »

lmoot
lmoot
6 years ago
Reply to  Onereasontwo

I know you didn’t address this question to me, but would you consider renting out your condo and moving to something much cheaper until you can get more income? Or even with family, or a roommate? If you are able to rent it out, perhaps you could refinance (if you haven’t done so already) for a new 30 year mortgage to knock the mortgage down enough that rental income would cover it. Of course you don’t have to take an extra 30 years to pay it off, but right now you need to think short-term solutions until things fall back… Read more »

Onereason
Onereason
6 years ago
Reply to  lmoot

Thanks so much for your feedback, Imoot. I have thought of renting, but the market rents in my area are enough to cover the mortgage plus condo fees, or even just the mortgage. I can’t refinance because I have no equity in the home. After asking around to multiple folks, it seems my only option is to stay put and tough it out (hopeing I can recapture the value I once had) or simply walk away recapture my freedom and being the journey to repair what is currently excellent credit. Indeed it is unfair, but better than continuing to be… Read more »

Char
Char
6 years ago
Reply to  Onereasontwo

We were in the same situation and tried to do the “right” thing by toughing it out. Tried to do a loan mod with our bank but it was a nightmare. After two years of trying, we decided to stop the bleeding. We stopped paying the mortgage and in the meantime paid off all our debt and saved some. Now we are renting and completely debt free! Many people will not agree with that decision but we had to do what is “right” for us. My husband was laid off from work and there was no way we were going… Read more »

Laura
Laura
6 years ago

OMG – Holly, thanks VERY much for a wonderful post! This was just what I needed to read this morning after journaling about frustrations at work. I hear all the time about “quit your job, do what you love, find your bliss (and start a blog to continue the preaching)” and very little about how to make what you already have work better. This was great. Greg’s mistake would only have been in insisting that he had to stick with sales when he knew early on he hated it. (Totally sympathetic there – manipulating people into spending money they shouldn’t… Read more »

Matt @ Your Living Body
Matt @ Your Living Body
6 years ago

You’re right, sometimes a job is just a job and the grass is not always greener. I look at a job as something to do while I spend my free time building my own dream and finding ways to create passive income for myself.

CCH
CCH
6 years ago

Did you guys give any thought to starting your own funeral business?

Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
6 years ago
Reply to  CCH

Great thought… very interested in hearing the answer to this one.

Brian
Brian
6 years ago

Good luck! Very true that the grass is not always greener. I would suggest to test a new career if possible part time, talk to people who are in that field etc. before jumping in and leaving your current job.

BIGSeth
BIGSeth
6 years ago

Great post. Thank you.

Yeah, the insurance game suckers many into giving sales a go – myself included. Your husband might have had better success doing salaried sales with commission in an area/product he knows well. There’s more support in those jobs too.

Anyhow, sounds like everything will work out just fine for you all. And that’s green grass indeed.

SAHMama
SAHMama
6 years ago

Many! Back in 2002, I quit my job, got married, made a 500 mile move, started grad school and a part-time job all within one month’s time. During that time, my husband also got all his wisdom teeth extracted and he started a job of his own. That was a heck of a month. In 2011, I quit my full time “dream” job as an epidemiologist to be a SAHM. I got pregnant six months after that- unexpectedly. So now I’ll be a SAHM for at least 5 more years. I don’t regret it. I do some freelance writing, my… Read more »

Mrs. B
Mrs. B
6 years ago
Reply to  SAHMama

SAHMAMA
I would not think you are are an A-Hole if you told me you raise your children and run the household. As a woman who has 2 kids but always worked outside the home, I can see where a stay at home spouse can be an asset. Please don’t sell yourself short. People who would think that are a-holes themselves. The world takes all kinds. Schools need dedicated parent volunteers, Successful professionals who work long hours thrive with someone in the home to keep it running smoothly and children benefit having a parent around full time.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
6 years ago
Reply to  SAHMama

I think it depends on how you say it 😉 As someone who hasn’t yet been blessed with kids, a comment like that would probably rub me the wrong way.

But it also saddens me when my SAHM and SAHD friends undervalue what they do. They raise the kids, run the household and volunteer at school and church. That’s pretty awesome in my books.

IMHO, parents should make the decision that’s best for their family and own their choices — not feel superior or inferior to anyone else.

Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies
Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies
6 years ago

We took a risk with Mr PoP’s career when we first got married and he tried working for minimum wage at a business we were hoping to buy. It didn’t work out, but Mr PoP learned a lot during that time, so I’m not sure we’d go back and change that either even though the risk didn’t pay off in a financial sense.

Big-D
Big-D
6 years ago

Holly, Your husband does sales now .. just as part of his job and the salary restrictions are better for him/you. Sales is sales, the product is different between industries. Right now he is selling memories, dignity, and grief and not insurance. As for the move and what not, sometimes change is good. A house is just a possession, and applying sentiment to it just adds to the hurt. Memories are just that, memories and will always be in your mind, and in your heart. I left my perfect job, in my perfect house, in my perfect city to take… Read more »

J.Mill
J.Mill
6 years ago

I’m glad you guys got what you wanted. Change is necessary sometimes. It’s a blessing that you’ve been able to go back to what makes your family happy. I’m sorry you had to move to make it happen, though!

Justin @ RootofGood
Justin @ RootofGood
6 years ago

The grass isn’t always greener, indeed! Sometimes you just have to accept that a particular job or industry is “good enough” and focus on the positives of what the job brings you – financial stability and the resources to provide for your family, and hopefully enough of a surplus income to save for the future.

Too often people fall in love with the idea of something and the reality doesn’t meet their expectations at all.

Thanks for the article!

Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
6 years ago

Holly, I would really call it a mistake. Sure, things didn’t work out anywhere near as well as you’d hoped, and it does feel like a failure to lose the house. BUT, at least you guys will know that you gave it your best and took a chance on a dream that he had. Most older folks (both successful and unsuccessful – whatever that means) will tell you the biggest thing they wish they could change about their lives is that they took a chance. For most folks that look back on life regret is a much worse feeling than… Read more »

Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
6 years ago

The first sentence should say ” I really would NOT call it a mistake”… sorry about that 🙂

Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
Derek @ MoneyAhoy.com
6 years ago
Reply to  Holly Johnson

Well, like you’ve recently found – it’s never too late to try something new.

Kelly
Kelly
6 years ago

I don’t know that I’d characterize any of what you guys did as “mistakes.” You made decisions based on the information you had at the time. You took a chance and had to make adjustments along the way. The “only” thing I wonder about is moving before he starts the job. I know it’s a done deal, but my suggestion would have been to work at the new place a little while to make sure it was a good fit then start the process of moving. But all in all, I think this is a positive thing. Your husband got… Read more »

Pam R.
Pam R.
6 years ago

When we first got married, my husband left a well-paying job in a major metropolitan area after only a year. It was the hardest decision he’s ever made, and there are those in his family who still haven’t forgiven him for “ruining” our lives. We moved to a small town, he got a temp-job working at a winery (minimum wage), and I was working full time as a front desk receptionist. I made our life even more financially stressed by dropping to part time (and eventually quitting, altogether) in order to have a little piano studio and stay at home… Read more »

El Nerdo
El Nerdo
6 years ago

Hey, Holly, CONGRATS. Your family just went through a significant growing experience! This is great. First, your husband will probably be happier at his new job than he was at the previous one– not because the new job is going to be better, but because he’ll bring a new sense of appreciation and gratitude to his new position. That is HUGE. And for him to find again the meaning of what he does, and the value he contributes, and to understand how his existence makes the world better for others– HUGE. You realize some people bust up their families and… Read more »

Laura
Laura
6 years ago
Reply to  El Nerdo

Like X 1000 (esp. “Second..”)

nicoleandmaggie
nicoleandmaggie
6 years ago
Reply to  El Nerdo

Great post and great comment! GRS is having a good week. 🙂

Kingston
Kingston
6 years ago
Reply to  El Nerdo

I heart El Nerdo.

Rose
Rose
6 years ago

I think this was a really great article! It sounds like you two did everything right: you just couldn’t predict or control the outcome. You supported your spouse when he was unhappy, tried to find a realistic change, pursued it, and he just ended up being miserable. When that happened you guys pulled together and found another solution! I agree with other posters, that’s not a mistake, that’s just life! I turned down acceptance into an MPA program to pursue a master’s degree in vocal performance. Thankfully I had a stipend, but my husband and I moved, got married, and… Read more »

Rail
Rail
6 years ago

Holly, it’ll all come out in the wash! Grandma used to say that, and its true. Life, and the living of it, is what makes us who we are. We all have regrets. I have done more bone headed moves than I can count. Some moves I made have cost me Hundreds of thousands of dollars in income that I will never be able to make up. Some moves cost me in personal ways that were lifestyle changers. And some are just the everyday dumb*ss moves. And then look at all the good that comes out of the other side!… Read more »

only
only
6 years ago

Appreciate your honesty. He had enough b*lls to take a chance and see what would happen. There are lots and lots of people that are content to be robots and stick with safety, and routine and that is seen in city, state, federal and those in education and medical. And due to that you see those that are in unions where they will not do anything that requires change or risk.

SavvyFinancialLatina
SavvyFinancialLatina
6 years ago

Thanks for sharing Holly. I think we all think the grass is always greener. And sometimes it’s not.

Tina
Tina
6 years ago

We had a similiar situation in 2008. My husband was running the family owned plumbing business when his mother passed away from cancer. The passing was devastating to him and his father so 6 months after she passed, the decided to sell the business. My husband didn’t want to continue in the sewer/plumbing business so this would be a fresh start. The problem was that he was 40 and worked plumbing his whole life and knew nothing else. After finding a few jobs that weren’t going to work, he realized that sewers/plumbing weren’t so bad after all. He is an… Read more »

Bill Chase
Bill Chase
6 years ago

Dear Holly, This is one of best written stories on career change I have ever read. It is articulate and has feelings regarding choices made and the dilemma of making choices. I am taking this opportunity to affirm your decision to tell the world important lessons learned. Yes, sometimes I wonder why I did not make a career change because my salary was lower than my contributions. But I stayed with a large corporation, went on to earn an MBA, and the company found ways to use the combination of skills I amassed for a satisfying/challenging latter part of my… Read more »

Josh
Josh
6 years ago

Life Insurance sales is more of a scam job than a real job, and the only people who make a lot of money at that are the ones who sell expensive policies (mainly whole life instead of term) to people who do not need it.

Most successful sales jobs are in a different industry where you are actually selling a product that will help the person or business you are selling to.

SLCCOM
SLCCOM
6 years ago
Reply to  Josh

There are a variety of life insurance products, some of which are “better” than others. Since nobody knows what will happen to them and those they love, young people in their early 20s who buy whole life/variable life policies and hang on to them are protected from becoming uninsurable, having a family member become totally disabled and needing that income long after the house and college are paid off, having unaffordable premium hikes later in life, losing coverage entirely due to moving or something else, and things I have not thought of. If you get the disability rider, which is… Read more »

Josh
Josh
6 years ago
Reply to  SLCCOM

I disagree, for 99% of the people out there the products you describe are not only unnecessary but overpriced. The only people who need life insurance are those who have dependents, and when that is the case, term life is the answer.

SLCCOM
SLCCOM
6 years ago
Reply to  Josh

Sadly, you never know if you will be the person who needs the better product. Is there any harm in putting away what you think you know in favor of seeing someone, at no cost, who can tell you what actually is?

And last I checked, a whole bunch of people will be wanting long term care insurance.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Great post! Thanks for sharing the experience. I made the mistake of staying in a house I secretly hated for too long. When it was hit by a tornado, we had the opportunity to sell after all the repairs were done. It was then I realized how foolish we were not to make the move years earlier. Had we sold back when it became a money-pit dream-killing albatross, we would have netted an easy $125,000 more than we did after the real estate market bust. But I’m just glad we finally got out. The tornado was a traumatic event but… Read more »

Allyson
Allyson
6 years ago

This is one of the best posts I have read on GRS in a while! Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for an articulate and well-written article. Good luck to you!

Hilary
Hilary
6 years ago

Thank you for this! I work as a nurse and some nights I hate everything about my job. But then I think of how easy my job makes it to travel (I only work 3 nights/week, which is full time) and how overtime shifts are almost always available if I need extra cash, and the fact that I’ve met some amazing people and have a lifetime’s worth of crazy unbelievable stories…and I don’t mind it so much 🙂 I’m not sure I could ever change to a 9-5 office job, even though sometimes it is tempting.

Madeline
Madeline
6 years ago

Like some of the other readers, I have tried to create a life outside of work that is meaningful and productive. Although I always dreamed of doing “what I loved,” I quickly realized that there is much more to love in life than just work. So long as I continue to harbor those other things, where I work isn’t as important to me. I commend you and your husband on taking a risk and your ability to react to its results.

Angelica
Angelica
6 years ago

Great article – best one in a long time in fact. Best of luck to you!

Marsha
Marsha
6 years ago

A house is just a physical structure. A home is the presence of your loved ones. Although I’m pretty sentimental about the house we’ve lived in for 18 years, my home is my husband and two sons.

Carla
Carla
6 years ago

I’ve made many mistakes over the years for sure but its a part of learning and growing. My SO was going to go into the insurance industry and I am so glad he didn’t. While he was in search of a new job last year, he would receive about a half a dozen emails from local insurance agencies recruiting new meat. Not having a car was one of the main reasons he didn’t make the leap. Though I do have modest plans in the near future, we have to realize that only a very small percentage would really make it… Read more »

Honey Smith
Honey Smith
6 years ago

I say good on ya, Holly! I think this will turn out to be a great move for your family.

rga3053
rga3053
6 years ago

Great post Holly. I also left a perfectly good job to become a teacher – my dream job (or so I thought). I ended up hating it, spent my whole day disciplining/babysitting 7th graders in an inner city school. What a nightmare. I did what your husband did, left pretty quickly after I realized I made a mistake. It took a long time to rebound from that, but it kind of “got it out of my system” and I realized like you that the grass isn’t always greener. That was ten years ago. Thank you for the reminder. Good luck… Read more »

Jennifer A
Jennifer A
6 years ago

Great article! I have experience in changing careers and would like to share what happened to me. A few years ago, I attempted a career change and failed. I ended up going back to what I used to do and after a few years hated it again. I decided last year that enough is enough and I can’t fathom the idea of being miserable everyday for the next 30 or so years. That’s just not sustainable. So I set out to change careers again BUT this time, I signed up for a program I found online on career change. One… Read more »

jlf
jlf
6 years ago

Best article I’ve read here in a long time and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Thank you so much for sharing this.

KSR
KSR
6 years ago

I just want to add a side kudos to Holly, herself–for the support, patience, and tight lipped deportment you were able to maintain during your dear husband’s transitions. It’s tough to not impede and/or override in instances like these, regardless of all attempts at being a good and equal partner. Now, I just hope that this new situation will be able to fulfill your dream of not having a mortgage. So… I hope you sell your current house high and buy an even better home low! Good luck to you.

Belle
Belle
6 years ago

Last year I left a career in the insurance industry to follow my dream working internationally, uprooting our family from the home we’d just bought (and which we loved), my husband from his master’s program and me from my maternity leave only days after I’d had my third baby to take a job that takes us far away from home and all over the world. I liked my job, but didn’t love it. I was fantastically good at it and it paid reasonably and gave me a reasonably amount of vacation and freedom to chase my passions; writing, my kids,… Read more »

SLCCOM
SLCCOM
6 years ago
Reply to  Belle

I like the phrase “fail forward.” If you take the approach of “Yes, and…” rather than “No, but” things go better. Any path we take in life means by necessity foregoing all other paths. Look for the open windows and doors in your path, and whatever interesting byways open up to you.

Michelle
Michelle
6 years ago

About 15 years ago, we made the mother of all mistakes. We were living in Colorado. Had a 4-bedroom, 3-bath home, both had jobs, nice cars, great life. Our son was born, and we decided that we wanted to move back “home” to Oklahoma so our son could know his extended family. My parents came to help us move. The morning we were to load up, my father walked into my house and had a heart attack. EMS came and took him into Denver, where he spent 6 days in the hospital and underwent a couple of cardiac procedures to… Read more »

lmoot
lmoot
6 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

Wow Michelle. That was heart-breaking to read. Don’t think of it as a mistake (hindsight has a way of making everything seem like a mistake, even when it’s not). It’s life. People move, and drive, all the time; they were accidents, not mistakes.

I know your parents were probably thrilled at having their daughter and grandchild back home and wouldn’t have considered it a mistake. I hope all is well now.

Ely
Ely
6 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

Yeah, the incidents you describe are not repercussions. They were not caused by your decision. Terrible things sometimes happen; that they might not have happened or might have happened differently had you done something different is actually irrelevant. The move may have been a mistake, but not because of this.

I hope you do not go on blaming yourself for these misfortunes, and that your family recovered well.

Carla
Carla
6 years ago
Reply to  Michelle

I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family, I hope everyone has recovered since then. What happened is not a result of your decisions, so please don’t blame yourself. There was no way for you to know that this would happen. That would be like me saying I should have never gone outside since sometime in my life I’ve gotten bitten by a tick and contracted Lyme disease, something I’m living with now.

Bad and sometimes horrible things happen to good people by no fault of their own.

Julie
Julie
6 years ago

What a great article. Best I have read on any site in a long time.

Julie
Julie
6 years ago

I also wanted to add how impressed I was by the fact that Holly doesn’t blame her husband but seems to take an equal share of responsibility for the decision. She readily admits that she was attracted to the idea of her husband making more money. The transparency in this article is very refreshing.

lmoot
lmoot
6 years ago

Thank you for sharing this well-written piece. I’ve been in health insurance for 5 years now and I’m trying so hard now to get out. It is hard finding a job that pays as well with great benefits, so I have to look at the other benefits other jobs might offer which insurance doesn’t (personally meaningful work, enjoyable, learning and skill-building experiences, feeling of pride in one’s job, and a lack of feeling as if you are in perpetual purgatory). When I read that your husband was going into sales, I thought “hm, dunno many people who seek that kind… Read more »

Lindsay
Lindsay
6 years ago

A completely crushing and defeatist piece. Am I the only one who feels this way? The writer herself said her husband was “frustrated, burnt out, and tired of working weekends, late nights, and holidays.” He obviously needed a break from his job, even if he wasn’t going to try and switch careers and there is no shame in that. Keeping on with being completely miserable simply because you don’t want to move houses is probably the worst advice I’ve maybe ever heard! If you don’t like your life, change it! Good for him! In six more years you will have… Read more »

Paul
Paul
6 years ago

Best post on GRS in a long time!

Karen Young
Karen Young
6 years ago

good gosh Holly, you guys are only in your 30s! You have a lot more time than you realize to find your niche.
I recommend he take some personality tests to help figure out if he’s a “task” person or a “people” person; “structured” or “unstructured” in his work; his passion; his gifts, all those things that go into figuring out his best fit.

Meghan
Meghan
6 years ago

I left my boring but well-paying job where I was a big fish in a little sea to transfer to DC, where the cost of living is higher and my paycheck went down. Plus I am now a little fish, am away from my family (and my Dad is extremely sick), went from a house to renting an 11×10 room, sold my car, AND the job isn’t as great as I thought it would be. Basically, I also made a huge mistake but going backwards would cut my career off at its knees, so to speak. I didn’t know what… Read more »

Blair Illiano
Blair Illiano
6 years ago

You had it quite tough for a while. But, I guess all big decisions come with a certain amount of risk. Hope you husband’s new job works out well!

Marie
Marie
6 years ago

My husband wants to earn more job certifications to make himself more marketable, but the testing is timed and he needs medical paperwork to prove that he has a reading disability and earns extra time. That paperwork expired several years ago, and getting it updated requires psychiatric evaluation to the tune of several thousand dollars. If he had just taken all the tests straight out of college when his paperwork was new, this wouldn’t be a problem. We can’t afford the psychiatric evaluation, and he can’t read fast enough to pass the tests without the extra time. I’m so frustrated… Read more »

SLCCOM
SLCCOM
6 years ago
Reply to  Marie

Can you not go back to the school he went to and have their people do the testing? Or find a special ed teacher in the local school district? Have you talked to the people who administer the tests and verified that his documentation has “expired?” That makes no sense to me, because learning disabilities don’t magically go away.

Winterlady
Winterlady
6 years ago

Don’t laugh but sometimes we just need a break from the daily “grind” not an acutal change. I often take a vacation if I think I need to change something and often come back with a different view. We often confuse needing a change and needing to step back for a while. So the next time you think there is greener turf elsewhere, take the majority of your vacation and get away or just break the routine for as long as you can.This method does help in figuring it all out.

Carla
Carla
6 years ago
Reply to  Winterlady

@Winterlady – That’s a really good point. I don’t take vacations or holidays (no paid time off) and sometimes I feel I can’t take one more day/hour/minute at my job. I have my weekends but apparently its not enough.

I do like the idea of taking a step back to refresh.

Dwayne
Dwayne
6 years ago

I agree the grass is not always greener. You have to really do your research and look at yourself to find out what is the best path for you.

Laura
Laura
6 years ago

Mistakes are necessary to learn from. The way I approach things is I’d rather try and fail than not try at all. My biggest money mistake was going to grad school. I only one went for one year however my student loans doubled. Essentially one year of grad school was the same as four yrs of undergrad. I did an internship (which I found without the help of my graduate school) and decided I did not want to pursue the career so I cut my losses. I had people telling me I should just finish the degree but that would’ve… Read more »

mj
mj
5 years ago

the lesson here is the importance fo doing your research before taking any big leap.
not tryign to place blame on anyone and its easy to get caught up in whether things are really better or not.
a better course of action for anyone thinking of changing jobs is to ASK SOMEONE WHO HAS THAT JOB WHAT IT”S REALLY LIKE before gearing up to make a switch.
also there are plenty of sales jobs iwth base pay and that require more trust building as opposed to hard sales approach.
but i’m glad everything worked out for your family

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