Deals on wheels: Should parents buy their child a car?
As far as I know, only one reader of Get Rich Slowly knows me personally. And last week, I was having lunch with my one-person fan club. (Actually, I am not sure she’s even a fan, but she did buy my lunch. Thanks, Lisa!)
“You really stirred up some controversy with one of your recent posts,” Lisa said, a forkful of salad in hand.
“You must mean the one about not paying for our kids’ college, right?” I said.
“Yes, that’s the one. You know, it really made me think.” Without telling me her opinion on the subject, she said, “What do parents really owe their kids? Financially speaking, of course.”
“I actually wanted to write a blog post on that.”
Though Lisa and I went on to talk about all the financial gifts parents can give their children (we decided that parents taking care of their own futures is a great gift to give their children), this post is about cars. Should parents pay for their children’s transportation costs … or not?
A Car With Strings Attached
When I turned 16, I immediately got my driver’s license. I arrived home with a plastic ticket to freedom burning a hole in my wallet. As I understood it, I would be allowed to drive the family car, so I was totally surprised when my mom said my birthday present was parked out behind the garage. Even though my heart rate increased, I tried not to show my excitement as I nonchalantly walked outside … to find a small matchbox car “parked” in the snow. Ha ha. Very funny, Mom.
So, back to Plan A. Yes, I would be allowed to drive the family car. Yes, my parents would pay for the insurance and repairs, as long as said repairs were not from my own irresponsibility. I would pay for the gas, and I would have to forfeit the family car to my sister as soon as she turned 16. That gave me 22 months to save up for my own car.
“The hard part of this deal,” my dad said, “is that the car is the bargaining chip. When you get grounded, you’ll get grounded from the car. We will pick you up from work, and you’ll have to find your own ride to school or ride the school bus.”
Not that I ever experienced that part of the deal or anything. Ahem.
My husband had a different experience. He had to buy his own car right away and pay for everything. Like most things, we each think the way we were raised worked out best for us. And that always makes for interesting discussions.
Transportation Valuation
The way I see it, we have three options:
1. Buy and give a car to our kids. Pay for everything.
Pros
This gives you an opportunity to pick out the car. It should be something that is reliable, getting up in years, and something low on the cool-meter. I think a four-door sedan that their grandparents would drive is a good choice. Buying the car also allows your child to save money for something else.
Cons
Is it necessary and the best use of the family budget? Would the child take care of it as well as if the child had had to pay for it him/herself? Does this help the child to manage money better or not?
2. Allow our children to use our car like my parents did, but pay for all (or some?) expenses, other than gas.
Pros
The child has a longer time to save up money for other expenses. It’s a good “bridge” between learning to care for a car, pay for gas, and buying his or her own car. It also is a privilege that can easily be removed. (My husband argues that driving privileges can be removed, no matter who owns the car. He is right, of course.)
Cons
The child may not fully grasp the whole cost of car ownership if they only pay for the gas.
3. If the kid wants a car, the kid can buy a car. And pay for everything.
Pros
The child would fully grasp the whole cost of car ownership. I believe this scenario is the one in which the child would take the best care of the car.
Cons
This would require having a cushion in case of unexpected repairs, and careful budgeting to make sure the child can afford all the expenses associated with car ownership. (WOW! This sounds suspiciously like real life!) It does not allow them as much time to save for other expenses.
(As I have mentioned before, we live in a rural area. If you can live without your teenager using a car, that’s great! It would be doable in our case, but not convenient.)
As I look over this list of pros and cons, I am leaning toward something that’s between the second and third options. I would be fine with allowing the child to use our car, but it probably would be more helpful if they had to pay for the gas and a percentage of repairs and insurance. I know I was surprised at how much oil changes, new tires, and wear and tear repairs added up to once I bought my own car.
While we have at least six years to make this decision — and I don’t want to speed this up at all — I would like to start prepping our kids with our expectations so they aren’t surprised when I tell them their birthday present is parked by the garage.
Would you buy your child a car? If so, would you expect the child to pay for any expenses?
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There are 98 comments to "Deals on wheels: Should parents buy their child a car?".
Teenagers having a car of their own to drive is more of a gift to the parents than it is to the kids (ask any taxi mom/dad). If we had the resources, we would have bought the kids a car just so we could get some time back. We did not have said resources so my children were in charge of buying their own. As soon as they got their license they were required to pay for their own insurance and gas. We also required that they put 1/2 of their wages in a a savings account for college and car (for commute to college). They were a allowed to buy a car between $3,000-$4,000 with an additional $1,000 in their account for a major repair. My first child’s car is still going strong after 4 years. My second child is shopping around for her first car. I found this to have many pros and almost no cons. They felt pride of ownership and accomplishment (thier friends with cars were using mom and dads), they got a real world dose of budgets and expenses and bills while they still had us as a safety net, and they learned about priority (gas to go where I need to go or some more chipotle?). This made them responsible and my oldest made a very easy transition to the rest of the financial responsibilities of being an adult. The only really con was that they could have put that money toward to tuition. This worked for us and I am happy we did it that way.
I totally agree! In my case, giving me a car was as much a gift to my parents as it was to me when you consider how much time it freed up for them.
I think I would give my theoretical kids a car allowance: kids have X amount from mom and dad to spend on a car. If the kid wants a better car, they can pay the difference in cost. Same with insurance. They pay the base insurance costs, and mom and dad pay the difference to bring it up to whatever coverage level makes sense. They pay for gas and oil changes. Any major repairs and scheduled routine maintenance is split 50/50 between child and parents so they get an idea of what kind of repairs and costs may come up in the future.
In our case, the gift of a car came with strings – yes, the parents paid insurance and repairs (we covered gas), but the deal was that if you had the car, you were on carpool duty for any (and all!) younger siblings as well as running errands for the parents on request.
The theory was that by having our own parent-approved vehicle, our parents knew that our ride was safe and well-maintained and that we would never be in the position of feeling we had to accept a ride from a friend who shouldn’t be behind the wheel.
The unexpected upside was that – between ferrying two sisters to school and after school activities five days a week – we got lots of experience driving in all weathers and all sorts of traffic, making us better drivers faster than our peers.
Sorry, I am late to the party, but I totally agree with the convenience to the parents…if you don’t count the worrying I’ll probably do!
I agree. We gave each of our kids a car. They were not allowed to drive siblings or friends, until they had driven for a year. They paid all expenses associated with the car including insurance. Our children had been working part time since they were 14 and had had to save 1/2 of their earnings so they had a good cushion. Both my husband and I work so it freed up time that I was not carpooling them back and forth to work or activities. My parents required us to buy a car ourselves and pay all expenses, but since we lived overseas part of the time and we kids couldn’t hold part time jobs, I didn’t drive until I was 19 and going away to college. I didn’t have much driving experience under my parents supervision which I didn’t think was a good thing. My husband drove his mother’s car when she wasn’t using it. He didn’t get his own car until he had graduated from college. We were in a car accident with a drunk driver that totaled my car. Both of us were seriously injured. The insurance money replaced my car and gave us a down payment for a house. His injuries were less and he used the proceeds to buy his first car.
Son felt that my old clunker was beneath him. He needed a new car. When Dad refused to co-sign on a lease, Grandma co-signed. We said we’d pay insurance if he bought a car. Since we’re footing most of college, he’s contributing some of the insurance. Leased car has far too many miles on it to turn in at the end, so Son is probably going to be driving it a long time. In a year, he’s needed 3 new tires (they’re “performance” tires) and the car doesn’t have a spare. All his friends got new cars from mom and dad, but we don’t intend to support him forever. Cell phone negotiation has taken a similar route. Daughter is 12 and keeps looking at sports cars!
No no no…..don’t co-sign grandmas and grandpas!
I always felt badly for my friends whose parents bought them nice cars (usually also had exotic vacations, nice clothes, the latest music etc.) and then didn’t have the money to afford to pay for college. Different priorities.
Ditto.
You’re teaching your kids values when you spend money on them–or on yourself.
We did a hybrid of these. we bought our children a used car (to share as each one started driving). But they had to pay insurance, gas, regular maintenance etc. If there was a repair due to their negligence, they paid in full. If something MAJOR went wrong (mostly due to the age of the vehicle) we helped out, but they still paid.
They had been saving since young for a car, so were actually pleasantly surprised that they didn’t have to buy the car itself. It also taught them some negotiating skills and compromising since they had to learn to fairly share it. School was together, but then jobs/work always had priority over social events. If they both had work then we helped out, they had to have a friend take them, or their sibling had to pitch in. There were rarely any big problems with this system and it worked for our family.
Ultimately the youngest was allowed to sell it (he had taken the hit on some repairs) and they all still talk about that car to this day!
I’ve never thought about having one car for all kids to share. Very interesting-I will have to think about that! I especially like the part about work taking priority over social events.
When did you allow the younger kid to ride with the older kid to school? That would make me more than a little nervous.
Also, What about when they left the house? Did they then have to buy their own car?
That was the option I was missing in the post and that makes most sense to me as well. Make them a present of an used car, not a ridiculously expensive one, and because we are buying it, we get to pick the make and model and make sure it’s reliable and not a gas guzzler either. That way they don’t get to wreck the family car and leave us all stranded. But of course the usage costs are all theirs to cover, that way they do get the full view of car ownership costs.
My parents bought a used car for me. I then had to pay them back, writing them a check each month. I also had to pay for my own insurance, gas, and repairs from the beginning. I found this to be completely fair.
After two years, I wrecked that first car. Thankfully I had already paid them back entirely for the car. They then bought me another used car and the whole thing started all over again. *Except-I had to reimburse them the “safe driving bonus check” they wouldn’t be receiving from the insurance company due to my wreck. Of course I didn’t really like this part of the deal, but I couldn’t really find a flaw in their reasoning.
I’m from a super wealthy town, EVERYONE had a car growing up.
My parents were not a fan of the car gifting philosophy or even us driving (with the amount of teen car deaths). I took the bus all four years of high school. It wasn’t until I wound up living at home one summer during college and had a job to commute to that I got my license.
My parents never bought me or any of my siblings a car, though they’ve always been generous about giving us rides or letting us use them when needed. But living in NYC since I graduated high school hasn’t given me much need to own a car anyway. Not looking forward to that additional expense.
My dad used to say “any parent who gives their teenage kid a car has a secret death wish”. He went on to harp about how, statistically I would die in a car accident. It was harsh, but then he asked if any of my friends had been in accidents and died, and shared his experiences with friends who died behind the wheel. He did ultimately let me have a car (and a license) at 17 – after I had to pass his test. But yes, it was a rite of passage when kids turned 16 to skip school, take the exam, and then get presented with a new (yeah, new) car and show it off in the school parking lot the next day. I was already an outsider, so it was just one more thing that set me apart from the others. I’m thankful for that now. But my 16-year old self struggled.
I like the idea of having a teenager being responsible for paying a portion of the costs. I’m all for them learning how to budget efficiently but, I worry that if they might over work themselves in order to pay their portion, if it will affect their grades.
This is how things worked for me, my parents would match half on expensive purchases, with the other half coming from my savings. Didn’t happen for a car as I had a job before that but this was the case for a new computer for example.
They did this because they felt I should enjoy my free time rather than work but they also wanted to instill some financial responsibility. The only thing I wish they’d done was to share more information on my actual savings instead of not allowing me to know how much it was. Still, I understand what reasons they might have had for it and I’m just very glad that I got a head start with some savings unlike some of my peers who live paycheck to paycheck.
Wow that’s great! Mad props to your parents for trying to install that financial responsibility. Were you ever overwhelmed by it considering how you were on the younger side?
I agree as another person said that a car is as big a gift to the parents as to the kids for a number of reasons since now you don’t have to be the taxi or the coordinator of the family vehicle. This is especially important if they need rides to school, to work, etc. and there is no public transportation or easy bike rides to get them there.
I also noticed the author didn’t include doing a dollar for dollar plan, e.g. the parent matches every dollar the child puts in to some set amount (the child can always add extra) to buy a car.
For us, it made sense to lend our children our older cars and get newer ones for ourselves. They complain about how uncool they look, I don’t care, they got over it and if they don’t want a vehicle, they can buy one themselves. It expanded the area where they could get jobs, where they lived and could commute to school (lowered college housing costs), etc. I could have made them pay for insurance and such, but instead they put the money they earn towards college and gas. In the end I think there are multiple options for families, and what works for one kid doesn’t have to be the same for another regardless of “fair”. It’s what the family can do and what the situation is at the time.
On the “gift to the parents” — if the kid can’t drive, it’s harder to send them to the post office, dry cleaner’s, grocery store, pick up smaller kids from school, or buying everyone else’s birthday / holiday gifts.
(This may have been influenced by my mother hating to drive and hating to shop.)
We have 15 year old twins, they will be driving next year. We are discussing out options now. We are leaning towards helping them with a car and having them pay for gas, insurance, etc. As other as stated this helps free up mom and dad from being a taxi. Also the fact that we are going to be debt free this year changes are ability to help them more them we would have been able to in the past.
Our agreement is that we will be dollar matching (up to a certain point) to help each of our kids buy their first car. For example, if they can put 2k towards the car, we will add 2k so they can buy a 4k car. While they live with us, we will help with insurance and maintenance but probably not gas. And they won’t be getting one at 16, they can drive the family car until they go to college.
Several people mentioned the dollar for dollar match. I didn’t even think about that, but it’s a great idea.
From a budget perspective, is the family budget involved, or only the child’s?
My brother bought his own vehicles, but my parents paid insurance. This was because it was much, much cheaper for him to be covered on the parent’s plan. When I was old enough for a car, I chose not to buy one, but instead, if I needed a car, I had to arrange it so that my parents could get to work, etc. Learning to share resources, and saving me some money.
Instead of three options, it is more a sort of scale…
Now, I will say that I went to a school where there were a number of privileged kids whose parents bought them really nice cars, and they had no appreciation for it. I knew many kids that totaled their cars, and parents even replaced them! My brother and I were fairly (mostly) cautious.
My dad took a different route- he found us decent vehicles and he paid half, we had to come up with the other half. He paid for car insurance but we paid for gas and maintenance. It worked out very well and I highly recommend it.
My family’s routine growing up was that the kids got one older car as a gift at age 16. We were responsible for paying insurance, gas, and expenses, though they would often pay for repairs if not caused by negligence.
If we totaled the car, we replaced the car ourselves.
I’m not sure what we’ll do for our own kid. We live in a much different setting — city vs. small town/suburb, so a car is less of a need for the way my daughter is likely to live.
Maybe pay for half of her bus pass or subway pass?
My siblings and I had to pay for our cars along with the gas, insurance and repairs. It worked well to teach responsibility, and hard work. I plan on doing the same for my kids when they get to that age.
My parents spent $2,400 and got me a used 1986 Crown Victoria (back in 1998). It was a real POS, but it taught me a lot of responsibility and allowed me to save up money before college.
I think giving a teenager a ugly car is a good idea. If they want something nicer, then they can use their own money to look flashy. Otherwise it frees up the parents time and gives the teenager some responsibility and freedom.
My folks had me save 1/3 of everything I made/got as a kid, they let me use the savings when I went to buy a car. Living in rural Minnesota 15 years ago,I was able to buy a decent (if over 100,000 miles) car for $2,000.
My parents paid my insurance, I paid gas, my dad taught me to change my oil, my dad did what minimum maintenance was needed.
I’m very thankful for them paying insurance, I didn’t pay my own insurance until after college. It would have been hard for me to pay for insurance because I didn’t have a job through high school. There weren’t a lot of jobs to be had in the small town I grew up in. Instead,I helped my dad on the family farm. It was never an explicit arrangement, it was more of a ” well, you’ve done everything we’ve asked so far and in order for you to have any measure of independence you need a car, so we’ll make it work for you”
In my opinion, parents who pay insurance do their kids a favor, because it’s the least negotiable part of paying for the car. You can choose between driving a new car, a used car and a jalopy. You can choose how much you drive (and the correlated how much you pay in gas) but you can’t really negotiate the cost of insurance.
It’s something the kids have no control over, so it’s harder to budget for. And if you’ve been discussing budgeting with them their whole life, they’ll already get saving up for something.
But if insurance and gas take up 70% of your take home pay, having the car so you can work might not make sense. I think making sure the kid can “win” with having a car is important.
I saw one girl so excited to get a car for her birthday, but then most of her after school paycheck went to gas, insurance, and maintenance. I think she was almost working to pay for the car, just so she could drive to work.
I just purchased my car based on the fact that my oldest daughter is 10 and my car will become her car when she’s old enough. For my girls, I wanted to buy a car that has a lot of safety measures (back-up camera, lane departure warning, and collision warning.) I am afraid that kids now are too attached to their phones and will try to text and drive–something I hope to teach them never to do. If only there was a way to ensure kids followed all of our advice . . .
From my perspective, a huge disadvantage of making a child buy their own transportation is that the parent can’t control the decision. I decided to buy a motorcycle as a kid because they are cheap, fun, and fast. My dad, who got in a wreck on a motorcycle and survived, forbid it so instead he gave me his old car. My husband bought an old sportscar that was was really unsafe in today’s world. (It went really fast, but had no suspension if you like your wheels to touch the pavement in order to steer.) His parents were really worried, but they couldn’t say anything since it was his money. They ended up buying their younger child his own vehicle that they picked out.
One other financial consideration, however, is the liability issue. If you loan your car to a child, in many states, you are responsible for injuries in an accident because you are the owner of the car. Based on that, I am considering giving the car to my children. If ever my child does get into an accident, I don’t want a lien on my house because I am liable for her driving. I will do my best to teach her everything she needs to know and do, and hope she never gets into an accident.
My oldest daughter is actually already saving for her first car–at age 10. I may “sell” my older car to her for a really good deal–so she does have ownership over it, I get to make sure it’s a safe car, and we don’t have the liability issues if it is in my name and she is borrowing it.
YOU are in charge of your minor children. Let the kids know that if they ever use their cell phone while driving for anything but calling the State Patrol on an aggressive impaired driver they lose driving privileges for a year.
AND they are in charge of getting to where they want to go in that event.
I hope my comment did not come of as indicating that I do not impose rules and consequences for my children. As for rules regarding driving, by the time our kids are driving, we only have 2 years left before they move away for college. I don’t want the rules I try to instill in them to be something that disappears once they move out.
I do not agree with taking away driving privileges for that long. I want my children to be good drivers before they leave for college and they need to practice that important skill.
Maybe you haven’t had the lovely experience of raising teenagers, but no you are not in control of them. You can set consequences, but they ultimately make the decisions and some of them are very very bad decisions because they think they know better than you and they are trying to assert their independence. You just hope that they are lucky and don’t get hurt or hurt someone else, and will learn their lesson. I mean how would you even know if they did text while driving?
One possibility is to get your child a car with a manual transmission. No opportunity to text and drive if both hands are busy!
Please check further into the ownership and liability information that you have, some states will hold you liable if the child is a dependent on your taxes; a bonus however is that your insurance would come after theirs for stacked protection.
I spent my teenage years in a car-centric community and drove a family car when it was available. Our family of five (with three boys, one just a week old!) will likely do the same. Our kids are still very little, but I anticipate buying a modest, third car when our eldest turns 16. But honestly I’m hoping that we can perhaps push that to 17. Boys are so impulsive, and that impulsivity on the road scares the living daylights out of me. I know it is unrealistic to think that we can keep them from driving until college, but even an extra year of not driving will give their brains another year to mature.
Unlike where I grew up, we live in a community within a larger city that has a walkability score of over 90. My ultimate desire for my kids is that they develop a micro-social life right here in our suburb. We live close enough to the elementary and high schools for them to walk, and we have a downtown less than a mile away that has hip coffee shops, restaurants, etc. If they develop friendships mostly with kids in the district, it is possible that we can minimize driving altogether.
For college, I really loved having a used Toyota Corolla bought by my parents. We likely won’t be able to afford to buy all three of our kids even a used vehicle, but one thought is to take the Dave Ramsey approach. I believe he matched whatever amount they saved to buy a car. Since I’m not a millionaire, we would likely cap that number at $5,000, but I think that is a good alternative to some of the one’s Lisa outlines above. I like that it rewards saving and sacrifice on the child’s part.
As a side note, congrats on the baby! I assume you’re the “Jane” who posts frequently, so I knew the baby was scheduled to make an appearance soon. I assume everything went well, so congrats!
And I also wanted to add that I understand the brain development issue. We’ve been pretty blunt with our oldest that driving is a privilege, so he shouldn’t expect to get his driver’s license when he turns 16 if he shows disregard for common sense. He has a long way to go, so we’ll see!
There was never any question of my parents buying me a car – the very idea was and is absurd. They let me use their little station wagon if all the behaviour etc. was in line (sometimes it wasn’t).
If you want a car, buy one and don’t buy something else. Being sixteen is not some magical moment when you get one of the biggest parts of adulthood (from a kid’s perspective) with none of the responsibility. I had a couple of clunkers as a teen, but when I eventually moved to the city I actually went without a car for 12 years – mostly because I hated pouring money into the gas tank and maintenance.
Our oldest is nine, and we have told him that our current car (an 09 Hyundai Accent) is likely to be the car he will be driving 7 years from now. When he says he wants something cooler – and he does say that – I explain the value of compound interest and working and suggest he save up his allowance for the next 7 years.
No way should parents buy their kids a car. Cars are dangerous and the number one killer of young men under 20. The longer it takes the better their odds are of not dying in a crash like so many thousands do every month. I see no reason to hand my child a loaded gun, nor do I see a reason to gift him with a dangerous machine. If he wants one he should buy one.
I hear what you’re saying, but the downside of that choice is that your kid is going to be a passenger in a dangerous gun-loaded car that you cannot control and whose driver you cannot educate– unless you hire him a chauffeur.
True enough. And I am highly aware that the driving conditions here are much less forgiving than where I grew up. Going off the road on the Canadian prairie means driving on a field. Going off the road in the Coastal mountains means a cliff, a rock face or the ocean.
That said, we have a very assertive graduated licensing system here in BC. It doesn’t take many mistakes to lose a license when you are a new driver, and every new driver has this excellent big green N sticker on the back of their vehicle (which is a beautiful pin the balloon of fancy car ego stuff IMO). So the police are paying attention to the N drivers, and my town is virtually crime free, so they don’t have a lot else to focus on.
I think that N for new driver idea is very sensible. I’d never heard of that, but I wish the US would implement something like that. I think it would be a red flag to help the other drivers and the police to watch out for those rookie mistakes.
When I was a teenager, my parents bought a car that I could use. Their reasoning was that if they bought the car, it’d be safer and less cool than what I’d choose. (Which is probably true; I had a friend whose parents were in the “buy it yourself” camp who bought a salvage title 15 year old Corvette.)
I had to pay per mile to use the car for myself, at the IRS standard rate. But if I ran errands for them, I didn’t have to pay for those miles as long as I kept track of them. So, I paid for the “full” costs of driving, but they got the benefit of not having to be a taxi service. (Particularly because I’m the oldest, so the most common errands I ran for them were driving my younger siblings to their activities.)
In our family, it was laughable to think that parents might buy a car on our 16th birthday. If we wanted to drive, we shared the family car (which was as old as I was), but always were subordinate to parental needs on it. Mom and dad paid insurance to have us as secondary drivers on it, and since we weren’t out joy riding, let us use the family gas card to refuel, but that was it. They were mostly paying to free up their time from driving us to friends’ homes when we were old enough to drive.
We all got cars when we needed/could afford them – and ALL expenses were on our own dime. For my sister that was when she moved out and did the full time job + full time student gig at 18, for me at 21 when I took a summer job in an east coast suburb where I needed a car (though I sold that when I finished the job and didn’t get another until 23 when I needed one again), and for my brother when he was 30 because he never liked the idea of driving and didn’t get his license until his late 20’s anyhow.
Probably would have helped to LEAD with the fact that you live in a rural area (i.e. that you made a family decision that resulted in them having fewer options). It’s a totally different scenario then.
Thank you for the suggestion. You’re right…being in a rural community impacts us in a way that wouldn’t if we lived in an urban area.
I don’t have children but my mother’s rule was if you want to drive, you buy your own car and pay for your registration and insurance. She also never allowed me to driver her car since she didn’t want to risk her insurance getting screwed up. Since full coverage insurance for a 16-year-old new driver in the early 1990s was about $250/month in California, there was no way I was going to drive until I was a an adult and able to fully support myself, even if my car was a dangerous beater (and many times it was until my late 20s).
Though I didn’t like her rules, I did learn how to be 100% responsible for myself “early” on and if I want it, whatever it was, I had to buy it.
really it depends on the lifestyle and family living situation
Many families can’t afford to buy their kids a car, or pay the insurance – so that’s out
My parents had one child and two cars – I was allowed to use their cars – they rarely needed both when I wasn’t in school – and I didn’t use it much even so – and they paid for everything
I have three kids – the oldest just turned 16 and hasn’t even thought about getting her permit – weird right? But I’m planning to buy a used car, heavy on the safety, light on looks, not FOR her, but for our family – her siblings are not far off from driving themselves. I will pay the insurance simply because given their schedules I can’t imagine them working enough to do so, and at least the eldest is working, but saving her money reasonably, for college/car etc – which I am fine with. She’ll pay any gas and damages she causes – and the same will go for other sibs.
I hadn’t ever thought we’d do this – but as they age as has been said it gets busier – it would be nice to have another driver. PLUS both of us have very new cars – dh’s car is leased – don’t want a scratch on it – and mine is a beautiful new car – which I really don’t want to hand over to a teenage driver – I worked hard for it and it’s paid in full – I don’t want to chew my nails over it getting damaged.
Buying something ‘humble’ just makes more sense
Plus I don’t imagine that they’ll be taking or needing a car for college – so I think that this works best for our situation
My husband and I are in the minority here. When our son (an only child) turned 16, the lease on my car was up and we bought him a car for his birthday. Yes, it was a new car and we paid for gas, maintenance and his insurance. It was understood that when I needed the car I got it and would drop him off/pick him up from school. We choose to get him a new car because we knew he would be going off to college and didn’t want him on the road in an unreliable car. Our son was responsible and a good student. We turned the car and the responsibility over to him when he started grad school and became employed by the university. 11 years later he still has the car and keeps it in good shape.
My parents opted for 1.5: They bought me a used car and made me pay for gas, oil changes, and general upkeep. (They paid the insurance premiums for me.) And when I was in a wreck, I got rides to and from work and school until I could pay the insurance deductible to get it fixed and running again.
It worked well, and I think it taught me a lot, but I think it’s important to note that they were already financially squared away. If they didn’t have their ducks in a row, I would not recommend doing it that way.
But I did appreciate the fact that it freed me up to work less and concentrate on school more: my friends who had to buy their own cars were in non-honors classes and didn’t do as well as I did in my honors classes. I’m not saying that their working more hours than I did was the only reason for that, but I do think it contributed.
Er. I think the question in this post is strictly for those who live in suburban/exurban/rural areas and/or who are affluent enough to afford it. We live in the inner city and aren’t wealthy enough to buy DS (age 16) a car, so it’s a moot point. That said, when we were house-shopping 5 years ago, my #1 criteria after “safe” and “affordable” was “near public transit”. In part that was to allow DS mobility without us becoming his taxi service.
More importantly, DS needs to demonstrate that he has a real burning desire for a car. It’s by no means a given that teens today want their own car; he doesn’t, and none of his friends seem to either. They realize a car is an expense, parking around Boston is non-existent, and driving around here can be pretty frightening. (The Alford Street rotary rush-hour gridlock is what finally convinced DH to use the T to get to work.)
When DS decides he wants his driver’s license already, then we’ll discuss what to do about a car. In the meantime, if it’s not important to him, it’s not important to us.
agreed – no need for a car in a city with public transportation – when I lived in manhattan I never had a car – only bought one when we moved to the burbs – and I was a working professional long before that point
I wasn’t allowed to have a car (or drive the family car) in high school. I got my license at 16 but never had a problem getting rides. I also wasn’t allowed to have a job. My job was to take care of my (quadriplegic) mom and to get good grades. I didn’t start driving until I was in college.
I hate driving to this day. I’d love to live in a city where I didn’t need a car. I settle for having the shortest commute humanly possible 😉
@ Mary – you are not alone. We bought a new car for me when my son got his driver’s license and let him use my 8+ year old sedan. This was very useful for us as we have to drive him back and forth to school (not to mention everywhere else) as there is not a viable bus option where we live. Unfortunately he had an accident after about 3 months of driving and we just used the insurance settlement to replace the car with a very similar car. We let him know that this was his one “freebie” and if he had another event, he’d have to get a job and figure out how to pay for a car. We currently view his main job to go to school and other family obligations, so we haven’t required him to cover expenses. However, once he goes to college, we’ll be determining a way for him to pay for some of the costs. This was pretty much the way my parents handled this as well. Once I finished college, my father gifted me “1/2” of the car I’d been using and I bought the other half from him and started paying for all costs.
We are a one car household, and we live in a pretty urban environment. I imagine when my kids are old enough to drive that we will allow them to use the family car, negotiated the same way my partner and I do now-we go days without driving it. Many of my friends’ kids aren’t even interested in getting their licenses; they use public transit and bikes. I think it would be ridiculous to buy an extra car when there’s already one sitting there not being used often.
When I got my license at 16, I could borrow one of my parents’ cars, and when we moved out of the school bus limits for my high school, my mom got a new used car and the oldest vehicle passed to me since otherwise I couldn’t have gotten to school. Partway through college they sold it to me officially.
I’ll probably come across as one who spoils their kids. When mine turned 16 they got to drive our other car (usually the van). When I got one in college and a second driver, I bought an old beater for the college student; younger one still drove the van. I made them pay for gas but did everything else. The oldest will graduate from college soon, and I will likely be buying a new car and having her buy the 2007 from me, at a good rate, of course. When we got married, my husband had a car his grandparents had given him, and it was such a blessing. It was our sole source of transportation for the 5 years he was in college. I’d love to be able to do that for my kids. This is a situation that is affordable to me right now, and it’s how I’ve chosen to work it. I’m not contributing anything to college (their dad helps some), so paying for the car, insurance, and cell phones is their support while in school. Right or wrong, it’s what I do, and I’m content with the situation. (Both kids go to an out-of-town state school, so transportation is very helpful.)
Well, I currently drive a new model Lexus and I’m selling it this year because I’ve had a change of heart. I have no plans on buying them a car. I originally thought that I would pass down the car to them and allow them to share it when the oldest turned 16 in 7 years. Instead I’m getting a Prius and will pass that on to them. Insurance and gas (if they can afford it cellphone bill as well) will be on them. We have already prepaid their college funds and my gift to them is first year living expenses on me.
Both of my kids are driving age. Since my FIL passed away a few years ago(when my oldest was turning 16) he inherited his truck and we paid for everything as long as it was used for school. He had to take his sister to and home from school and had to pick up my niece from another school. When my daughter needs the truck, the kids figure out the schedule.
Now that my son is about to graduate HS, we will need another car for our daughter to get to school. So we are planning on getting a more fuel effecient car for me to take to work(my commute longest) and give our daughter my car.
Both kids have to pay for gas money if they are doing something personal with the car and we pay the insurance as long as they keep their driving record clean.
When my older sister got her license, my mom got a newer car and her old one became the kid car. Big sis wasn’t in a rush to get her license, so I ended up getting my just a few months after she got hers. We shared the car until she went off to college, and by then little brother had his license so he and I shared it. We had to pay for the gas, and our portion of the insurance. My dad did the oil changes and most of the repairs himself. All of us kids got after school jobs early on, and were also involved in sports, so having the car definitely was a bonus for my mom as well as for us. My kids are currently 3 and 5. I just got a new Hyundai Elantra in 2013, so quite likely when the oldest gets his license it will be time for me to get a newer car and that one to be driven by the kiddos. I imagine we will follow the same strategy that I grew up with. Assuming, that is, that the kiddos are able to get an after school job and actually need a car.
My 21- and (almost) 19-year-old sons commute to college in the same minivan we bought new when they were 9 and 7. They didn’t get licensed until 18, to save on insurance costs. We pay all the car expenses because we consider it part of their college costs. We made a deal with them years ago that we would pay 1/2 of college costs, and they would be responsible for the rest through scholarships, loans, and work. They each earned large merit scholarships and decided to live at home to save money, so we’re more than happy to pick up the remaining costs.
My son got his DL at 18 and inherited my late father’s car (with my mom’s blessing). It was a 1970s TANK – Olds 98 big block. His insurance and taxes were cheap (and were his responsibility). He paid for gas and learned to do his own oil changes. He still owns that car and swears he will restore it (or at least salvage and rebuild the engine someday. It even gave him the gift of a side job restoring old muscle cars.
My mother’s car was on its last legs when I crashed it two weeks after getting my licence. (The accident was completely due to my inexperience as a driver).
She made the decision to buy a solid, three year old Corolla with 10,000 miles on it, with the intention to giving it to me two years later when I could have a car at college.
I didn’t pay a cent for the car, but once it was mine, I paid for all of the repairs and gas obviously (my parents helped with insurance until I was out of school since insurance in NJ is beyond insane).
I drove that car up until last year, when it was 17 years old, and had 125,000 miles on it. I would have kept it until it died but I had a baby and was terrified of breaking down with her in the car.
So my mother gave me much more than a car; she gave me 12 years without a car payment as I finished my education and started my career, got married and bought a house. (She saved my husband money too; ever since we moved in together, we’ve only had one car). I only wish I could have bought the new one entirely in cash, like she always did, but I didn’t want to drain my savings to that extent (and the interest rate is so low it’s not the end of the world). I ended up buying a new car because the prices for late model used cars are so inflated right now, but I plan to teach my daughter how to drive in this car – and maybe someday it will be hers.
Whether you buy your kid a car or not, you can still teach them to be responsible with money. (And I totally get I’m absurdly lucky to have parents who were able to do this for me, and I’m eternally grateful that with what I’ve learned from them I should be able to do the same for my kid – barring unforeseen circumstances).
We told our kids that they could get their driver’s license when they could pay for their portion of car insurance. Yes, this significantly delayed their obtaining a license.
They could have a car when they could afford one. Excited to say that my 19 year-old son purchased his car this morning — a 2003 PT Cruiser.
When it came to teaching the kids driving, I taught them all to drive a stick shift first…..in a big university parking lot on the weekend. It is amazing how many cannot drive a stick shift any more. They got to use the family cars if it was available once they got their license. They would help with the gas. When they came home from college at vacation time we now had to let them be adults and live their own lives…however we did not want them getting killed on our long drive around the island because they fell asleep at the wheel….this happens frequently. So the college kids no longer had a time they had to be home but the car had to be home by midnight. :o)
I am definitely in the no category here. Have them learn personal finance with the car while you can supervise them, and instead, put the money you have to their college tuition.
I was fortunate that my family could afford to pay for my car expenses. When I was of age to get my license they got an old car (a diesel tank a year older than me) and paid for insurance and probably maintenance. I can’t remember how gas was handled.
At the same time, however, it helped me to excel in high school. Both my junior and senior years of high school I took courses at the closest college, which was about 45 minutes away. I also was able to take on leadership roles in extracurriculars, because my parents didn’t chauffeur me around (they had jobs that didn’t get out until after school activities were over). So they paid for everything, but I got excellent grades and extracurricular leadership opportunities, and then got lots of money in scholarships.
I will say that my car privileges were taken away from me once I finished high school. I didn’t have a car in college until halfway through senior year when I needed one for an internship. Most things I needed to do in college were within walking distance, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Grandparents gave me one of their old cars when my grandfather could no longer drive. I was responsible for insurance, maintenance, and gas, and appreciated the car very much.
My husband and I are unlikely to be in the same financial position as my parents were (significantly less lucrative jobs). My husband had to pay for everything while I had to pay for nothing. We’ll probably start off with our child using a family vehicle, and then contributing a portion to a car and have him pay for the difference in insurance + gas, but it will depend on the situation (what he’s using the car for, for instance).
My first vehicle was a 250cc motorcycle when I was 14. It was $200 bucks and dad gave me 50 toward the purchase. When I turned 16 dad gave me the 70 Chevy(family car) that was rusting out. I did a head job in the H.S shop and tuned it up only to have the tranny go South a month later. Parents had always raised me to work for a living so I never expected them to do a lot for me, Dad was good about letting me use his car for dates and such when I needed a car. When I found a car that I wanted,(age 16) it cost $2,500 and I put 2,000 down and dad gave me $500. I paid for gas, oil, tires and paid for general upkeep plus paid for insurance (on Dads policy). Living in the rural Midwest a car is a have to have item, Dad taught me to drive when I was young, so I had lots of time behind the wheel by the time I was 16. I bought a pickup the start of my Senior year and that was 100% on me, as have been all of my vehicles ever since. In 8 years my daughter will be 16 and DW and I haven’t really talked about a vehicle for her yet. I do know that she will be expected to have a job or some sort of income as well as handle school work/social life. As always lots of good ideas being exchanged around here. Cheers all!
My older daughter got her license about a week after she turned 16 because it helped our family for her to be able to drive herself and her younger sister to activities. At that time, she used either my or my husband’s car. A few months later, we bought a newer used car for my husband, and she started driving our 2002 Accord. Our neighbor pays her $20/week to drive her daughter to school, and that helps to offset the gas and insurance costs.
Allowing for higher gas prices, with 3 cars/drivers, we’re spending less on gas than when parents were doing all of the driving with just 2 cars. Also, I’m able to work more hours, and my income has increased much more than the increased costs of having a 3rd driver.
When our daughter leaves for college, the car will stay here, and her younger sister will use it after she gets her license. A few years from now, my older daughter will likely get my 2008 car, and we’ll start the process again.
I admit I’m rusty on the details, but IIRC, insurance companies frown on this practice. If there’s ever an accident (heaven forbid), you could be exposed to liability for providing “unlicensed taxi” services. Better to have the other child fill the gas tank periodically than to accept a set amount on a weekly basis.
I am REALLY struggling with this. My youngest son turns 16 on Thursday and I don’t know what we’re going to do yet. He hasn’t had driver’s ed yet (too immature) but when he does, we can’t afford to buy him a car (even a beater), there are no grandparents left to gift one to him, and we NEED our cars every day for work. I’m even nervous about letting him drive them, because if he wrecks one of them, we can’t afford to replace it. He would like to get a job, but can’t find anyone to hire someone under 16 – most businesses are 18+, so he has exactly ZERO saved up for a car, plus the insurance is so expensive for boys. And we aren’t particularly close to a bus route or other public transportation. For my older son, we bought him a beater that was as old as he was for like $1,000, but it seems like he about went broke with the constant repairs on it. I think we paid the insurance and he paid the gas and half the repairs, but it was tough going and we aren’t as well off as we were when he was this age. It is nice to have a driving kid in the house, especially with his busy schedule of Scouts and school stuff, but the practical reality is that we are likely to be driving him around for at least another year or two…. I guess if he wants a car bad enough, he will find a way to earn some money and at least be able to pay for a portion of whatever beater car we are able to find for him.
everyone’s situation is different, and yes, sounds like if he wants to drive he’ll find a way – nothing you can do so no need to feel guilty about it – we’re in the situation we’re in – do your best and let the rest go
Truth is I’d be happy if my kids didn’t start driving until their awareness of mortality kicked in for real (which often isn’t until about 20). More than one of my high school classmates didn’t survive the first couple years of driving, and it was almost always for stupid rookie mistakes. And they took a couple others with them too.
Late to the party . . . but I find the concept underlying the “need” for a teenager to have a car to get to work, school, or activities to be an interesting issue, and not necessarily a given even if one is in an area where driving is generally “required”.
When I was about 13 or so, my mother decided that she was spending too much time chauffeuring me (and my younger brother) to visit friends and do optional activities, since our friends were scattered pretty widely. She instituted the 2 rides (round trip) per month rule for each of us. This did not include things like music lessons, for which she still drove us. It was a fantastic strategy for teaching us how to be creative about getting around, and also for my brother and I to cooperate with each other so we could share one of our available rides and thus stretch how many places we could go per month. We learned where our friends lived in relation to one another, so we could travel more efficiently, and also how to plan ahead so we didn’t use up our rides too soon in a new month. We were allowed to bank unused rides, so could “save” them if we anticipated future needs. We also learned that we could walk a lot further than we thought and it wouldn’t hurt us (my mother told us it was good exercise).
By the time I was old enough to drive, I had very little interest in doing so because I added up what it would cost and I wasn’t interested in spending my money on things like insurance. My Dad finally insisted that I learn to drive when I was 17 and headed for my 18th birthday, because he wanted me to have a period of time driving under his supervision. He didn’t think the learning permit requirements were adequate for becoming a practiced driver, and I had my license for nearly a year before I was allowed to drive on my own. Yes, by this time I was over 18, but since the only cars available for driving belonged to my parents, they set the rules.
Once I was allowed to drive on my own, I was never allowed to drive friends or my younger brother, only by myself, and only to approved locations. Dad had found research indicating that passengers were highly distracting to teenage drivers and a major correlate of accidents. Of course, this all predated cell phones, so texting was not an issue.
Interesting post…Our family devotedly listens to Dave Ramsey and believe we will eventually do what he did for his kids. I think it fits right in-between the three options you had provided.
Dave Ramsey told his kids he would match whatever they could save up for a car (in essence, pay for half their car). We believe this is a decent middle ground that still teaches them the value of saving. Learning from Dave’s mistake, we plan to put a cap on the amount we would match as we don’t believe a teenager should be driving an expensive luxury or sports car!
When my son was in High School, I purchased a late model truck with low miles and a small engine, stick shift that he could use. Here was the deal we made:
* He had to do decent on grades, then I paid for insurance. If he dropped below 3.0, and lost the good student discount he paid for the difference. That was a difference of $200 for 6 months.
* He paid for his own gas.
* He had to tell me where he was going and when he would be home
* He would perform and pay for all maintenance items out of his pocket/time, but I would reimburse him for those items. He learned how much it cost to maintain a car without the burden of saving money from work.
* He would pay the deductible on the insurance ($1000) if he ever got into an accident that was deemed his fault. He had a cell phone, call the police and get a police report every time you are in an accident. He never did.
Now that he is in college, he “owns” his car (sold the car for a 2009 Saturn Aura). Still in my name but it is “his”. He own all maintenance/gas/insurance expenses. While he is in college, I help him out with things he asks, and put them on a ledger. When he graduates college, it is expected he will pay me back for those items. If the items are not too egregious .. I might forgive some of the debt. He has not asked me to pay any tuition or books at this time so that is good.
9/15/2013 Saturn Registration $160.05
9/30/2013 State Farm Insurance $872.31
2/25/2014 Saturn Tires @ Discount Tire $659.99
3/25/2014 State Farm Insurance $529.65
Guess you can see the good student discount take hold there State Farm (he slacked off his last semester Senior year of HS).
Where I live the price of the car doesn’t matter much, it’s the high price of insurance that is the issue. I live in Ontario, Canada. If your under 25, and the primary driver of a car, your insurance could easily be over $400 a month! Even worse if your under 20. So you almost have to share the family car and be a secondary driver. If an “extra” car is bought so that # of cars is greater than # of parents in household, then that extra car automatically makes the teenager a primary driver of that car, and insurance is sky high.
Interesting post Lisa. A car really is a child’s ticket to freedom so it’s hard to know whether you should do everything you can to aid that freedom or remind them the nothing in life is free. The decision isn’t too hard here in the UK- we don’t have things like Drivers ed, instead you have to take lessons that often cost £30 each and the test is over £100- with learners often taking about 30 lessons and the first time pass right not as high as hoped, you can imagine the cost! Here it is a case of “if we can afford it you can have it, if not you have to do it yourself” probably the reason why we don’t have anywhere near as many young drivers around.- Thomas
When I got my license (I’m the oldest of 3) my parents bought a new car for themselves and let me drive the beater. I had to pay my own gas/maint and I also had to transport myself and 2 brothers to any activities that my parents told me to drive them too. We did not have to pay insurance but we were definatly told how much our addition to the insurance made the price go up. Once one of my brothers started driving a year later, we had to share the car (and costs). After we left for college, the car stayed home for my brothers (or sold after my youngest graduated). My bothers and I all knew we had to save up for our own car if we wanted one after we graduated college.
I think that this approach slowly allowed us to take on more responsibility.
What a tricky topic! A ticket to ‘freedom’ or a little more precious time with your kids…first it’s a car, then it’s a house!
I definitely have the opinion of ‘a little help’ whether that be a contribution or whether that be guidance throughout the whole process. CarFax makes a great point about insurance in a post and kids insurance is a FORTUNE. What about adding them to your insurance…that way yes, they can use the family car for a little whilst they save for their own. That’s the way I know my kids will be doing it!
I’m 20 going on 21 and I don’t have a car yet. I feel as if this stunted my growth and it still does since I am writing this still with no car. Been looking for jobs and haven’t found anything since where I live has a shitty economy and a lack of jobs. My parents are well off and could afford to help me out but don’t whatsoever. They went on a trip halfway across the country in an RV they just bought, but won’t help me out at all and I feel helpless and stranded. I am going to community college and trying to find a job but college doesn’t get a car and jobs just don’t seem to be hiring around where I live. Everyone I know, including the potheads and druggies of my school, got a car handed to them and moved out and a job (away from where I live btw)and I feel stuck. I might have a few job opportunities come up but if it doesn’t go anywhere I’m back to square 1. Again. Honestly this has lead me to depression (I’m usually a very happy guy) because I’m nowhere near where I want to be… I feel as if I would be blossoming and where I would love to be if I had a car at 16, or even 18. I feel as if in that regard my parents have failed me because while yes I should buy my own car, I agree, without a car of my own to love and care for and to get from point A to B, etc, even to just help get the ball rolling for me, I can’t go as far in my life as I want to and need to. I feel as if them not helping me out is leading me down a path I do not wish to continue down. I don’t know what to do, I’d appreciate some feedback..
I can see why your parents did not buy you a car. You need to continue to mature, and you aren’t there yet. Whether you realize it or not, you sound like a whiny little child.
I would seek some help from the school mental health people, as you may actually be experiencing depression. Then look for ways to earn money. You don’t have to “find a job.” You can MAKE a job. Can you tutor? Mow lawns? Walk dogs? Fix computers? Babysit?
You need to continue to learn patience and determination. I know this period of your life isn’t fun. You will go through other un-fun periods, and what you learn now will stand you in good stead.
My dad is making me
Pay for everything but y grandparents helped me out with tires as an early christmas present and half of drivers ed as a birthday present. But other than that ive payed for eveything.
I am having this problem right now! Ultimately, I like the idea of children using the family car and saving for things they will need (including cars) when they reach adulthood. That would of coarse mean they pay their gas and insurance unless they can earn a “good student” discount. If they have a 3.0 or better I’ll pay the insurance. The problem we are having is he has such a sense of entitlement about it that I don’t think it is a good fit. He calls it his truck. When it needed repairs he elected to walk over driving one of the older trucks. He talks non-stop about how much nicer every other students car is. When he does a small errand he asks for gas money. When we go to use the vehicle he throws a major fit. We have a driving contract that he breaks regularly. Even worse, he does not live with us full time so when he is at his other household he has it all to himself with no supervision what-so-ever. So in all essence he is not using a family vehicle situation. It is more of his vehicle that we pay for. Not cool. This is not working.
I think it’s perfectly fine to buy your kid a car but I think that it’s really important that if you’re buying your car second hand car you get it checked over by a professional. We’ve had a few occasions where people have come into the garage with a broken down car they have bought off ebay or a dodgy dealer and I’ve been shocked it’s even been able to start. Do your research and take someone who knows about cars!
As a 23 year old living at home working on my BA. I have 2 other degrees.i like the fact that the kid gets the car but the parent comes along to help keep the dealer from scamming the kid.at the moment i drive my mom’s car and pay for gas even if i don’t use it.my parents offered to help buy me a car (me 70percent them30). I would still be under their car plan but cover everyhing else. This though comes into play if i get a certain type of car.
My driving is this: work.school.brothers sports.home.
I think what many parents don’t understand is how much prices have gone up since they were 16. There is no way to expect you child to have enough money to buy a car, epically when there are no jobs that the teen can do without a car. In which case their forever stuck with no money because they can’t get a job because they don’t have a car because they don’t have money. My solution would be to be a decent person and just get them a cheap and safe car, and pay for their gas and insurance until they can pay it for themself.
I agree with John, It’s way more expensive nowadays to purchase and own a vehicle than it was back in the 70’s and 80’s. Having said that, at the age of 16 (2010), I had saved up enough that I was able to get my license, buy a beater of a car (1995 Buck Park Avenue),and pay for insurance. I’m a car guy, so I did all the maintenance myself. The insurance was about 2200 dollars a year, and I could only afford 5 months at a time, but it was mine. I had to work to pay to keep it running (which taught me value), and, although I had no problem with it, I was expected to drive my younger siblings around (school, activities, etc). I find the biggest problem with this was I suddenly had far more freedom than my parents would have liked, and the power structure of the house subtly changed because of this. They thought that I’d get a little 4 cylinder, mid 2000’s vehicle to putt around it. They didn’t like that it old, that it had been in an accident once before, and my mother freaked out and told me I couldn’t drive it when she found out it had a supercharged V6 under the hood. I flat out told her No. I bought it, paid for all costs, and ownership was in my name.If she didn’t like it, to bad, it wasn’t her property. She told me then to hand over my license, and again I said no. I paid for it, I studied and passed the test, and I hadn’t had a single accident or close call. I spent the last 3 years working to get a car, I wasn’t about to ruin it by driving like an idiot or just handing my license over. She told me that it wasn’t me, it was the car that wasn’t safe, and that’s why she didn’t want me driving it. I told her that I’d had it checked over by a licensed mechanic and body man (my high-school auto teacher), and that he had assured me and showed me that it was structurally sound. I then said since she didn’t think it was safe, I would no longer be driving my siblings around to activities and school and such. For their ‘safety’. At the age 16, it was the first time I had ever, ever, won an argument against my mom. The though of her (dad works full time, she worked part-time) having to return to running around all day to pick them up and drop them off did it. And I think that’s what parents are most afraid of. They suddenly lose just a bit of control over what goes on concerning daily life, and they lose it to their teenager, and I will admit, even now I think that’s a little bit scary. Teenagers aren’t known for handling control. But they have to learn sometime, and for me, a junker 1995 Buick was my teacher
Great post Lisa, I bought both my kids a car soon after they past their test, I think that Kids need to get as much experience behind the wheel as soon as they can. I made sure that I was in the car for the first few trips simply to ensure I could trust them on the road.
Not only do you need to trust your kids on the road but you also need to be able to trust the car that they are in, it is crucial to have a highly dependable car. I went with an Audi A1 for both my kids and they have never let them down, providing they are serviced regularly, they are a really efficient car to run. I am also insured on both cars and often drive them when they are free.
Plus another perk to my kids having a car is that I dont have to give them lifts everywhere!!
I’m almost 16 and my parents did the following with my older, 19 year old brother.
They gave him my dads commuter with 150k on it, and made him pay for gas. And then my dad got my moms car, and she got a new one. My parents are very well off and they want us to be eased into it. The issue with this is that you don’t see the whole cost of ownership. I think this is important. I will get a commuter car.
@Nick – Paying for gas is no big hardship. Try paying for gas, insurance, registration, maintenance, etc. That was my mother’s requirement when I was in my teens. Needless to say, I didn’t get a car until I was on my own with a salary to maintain car ownership.
This is insane. A teen like myself should be worried about school and there all stressed out already by there social life and there life at home with their family. When I turned 16 my parents surprised me with a 2013 camaro. And I got a card for gas because being worried about gas would push me to leave school and lean more towards working as early as possible to pay for everything. I do some chores at the house and for that I get $100 a week which I have learned to use properly like when I go out for dinner with friends or to save for a concert.
Please tell me this is a joke
If I could go back in time I would have purchased my child a car.
Much like this blog I decided it would be best to have my child purchase his own car. After finding this out he simply decided he didn’t need or want a car – he was more than happy to let me drive him or take the bus.
Of course, now he is 29 years old and still lives with me!!
It would have been cheaper to just buy him a car so he could live life. Instead he can’t even get a job because most require a car, he has no friends (I’m his only friend!!!) because they all got sick of him not driving and ditched him.
Driving is mandatory in our country. I realize now that a child cannot be successful without that opportunity. Especially if the child is okay with forfeiting the right when told we can’t afford it.
I should have been like the other parents and let him drive my car or lease a second car. Now I offer him a car and he refuses. He would rather spend the money he earns on clothing.
It is your house. Give him a deadline to learn to drive, get a job and move out. Make him pay rent, or work his a$$ off at the house until he has the job. You can collect the rent once he has a job and when he has enough money you can give it back to him for his utility and rent deposits.
The ball is in your court. Help him to actually become an adult by making him. Will it be rough at first? Sure. You will be giving him the greatest gift you can ever give him, though.
I’m about to get my license. I chose not to go to my zoned school but to go to a “magnet” school. It is a free high school in my county for kids who are gifted at STEM (Science Technology Engineering Math) My parents are proud of me for making the mature desicion to leave my freinds in order to get a better high school education. The problem with this highschool though is that there is NO BUS for kids that ARNT in zone(me). I currently ride to school with a senior who does have a car but obviously he graduates this year, so I’ll NEED a car. Unlike most teens who just want it. I’m a car enthusiast and I would really like a mustang. They are cheap (4-5k), reliable (KBB gave them a 9.3/10), and because I have straight A’s, the insurance won’t even be above average. My partners said they would defidently pay the insurance, and would probably pay for most of the car. And I am fine with paying for the repairs. Dont call me spoiled. I work harder in school than all my freinds and hope to attend a really good college one day at which point I’ll make it up to my parents.
This is such a difficult one and is completely down to personal opinion. I think one great way (if this is possible) is to buy your child a car, so you know that what they are driving is up to the safety standards, and set up a payment plan where they pay you back in small instalments each month. Jordan