How to prepare for a baby (without going broke)
Borrow things
Women love to share maternity and baby items. Don’t buy a lot of things before you publicly announce that you’re expecting, because once you make the big announcement, you’re sure to get offers of gently used maternity clothes, baby clothes, and baby equipment….as well as lots of baby advice. I think it’s a rite of passage for women to pass down their maternity clothes to other pregnant women. Take advantage of it.
Buy used
There are many stores that consign strictly baby and children’s items. Consignment stores are great for stocking up on baby clothes and baby equipment. Since the owners are usually very strict about what they will accept for sale, the items you’ll find in a consignment store are generally in excellent condition.
Garage sales are another great place to pick up baby clothes. You can often find infant clothes in great condition for as little as $1 apiece.
Wait for the gifts
Don’t go out and spend a lot of money on the baby as soon as you find out you’re pregnant. More than likely, you’ll have at least one baby shower, where you’ll receive tons of baby clothes and all the little items you’ll need, like baby nail clippers, towels, a baby bathtub, and much, much more.
It’s also a well-known fact that women love shopping for babies. After your baby is born, you will probably receive even more gifts of baby clothes. So don’t feel like you need to buy a whole wardrobe for your baby right away. I recommend stocking up on some comfortable baby pajamas for the weeks following your baby’s birth. When your baby is a month or so old, take stock of what you still need and shop from there.
You don’t need everything
When you visit the baby section in a department store, you might think you need to spend thousands of dollars to buy your baby every last bit of equipment. You don’t. You will need a place for the baby to sleep, a car seat, some clothes, blankets for swaddling, diapers, and alcohol swabs to care for your baby’s belly button.
Nice additions are a bouncy seat or swing, a sling, a stroller, a diaper bag, some soft baby towels and washcloths, some bibs for dealing with drooling, and burp cloths for dealing with spitting up. A changing table, bottle warmer, wipe warmer, and lots of toys really aren’t necessary at all. Neither is an impeccably decorated nursery. Your baby will quickly outgrow typical nursery decor.
Consider Breastfeeding
This is definitely the least expensive and most convenient way to feed a baby. I was bottle-fed as a baby, and my mom bottle-fed all of my younger brothers, so I always figured that’s what I’d do, too…until I saw the price of formula. After nursing my babies, there’s no way I’d bottle-feed a baby. I’m not morally against it or anything, but breastfeeding is terribly convenient. And again, it’s free.
Think about cloth diapering
Cloth diapering is coming back en vogue, and it isn’t what it used to be. Now you can buy all-in-one diapers that are a diaper and cover in one easy-to-change package. Today’s cloth diapers use snaps or velcro in place of pins, so there’s no need to worry about poking baby with a pin. The prints are really cute, too. I used cloth diapers on my second child for a while, and it really wasn’t much extra work. It’s better for the environment, too. Though the initial expense of cloth diapers is greater than disposables, you’ll recoup the cost over time.
If you’re considering cloth diapering, The Diaper Pin is a great place to read diaper reviews and find places to buy cloth diapers. As with anything, don’t go overboard buying diapers at first. Different diapers work well for different babies, and you don’t want to be stuck with a huge stash of diapers that don’t work.
Use a midwife
These days you aren’t limited to having an obstetrician deliver your baby. Seeing a midwife often means a lower bill for your pregnancy and delivery. Most midwives are very sensitive to helping parents achieve the kind of birth experience that they want to have, rather than having a delivery full of medical interventions. If this appeals to you, a midwife might be a good option. Just make sure that your midwife is affiliated with an obstetrician for backup, in case something comes up that needs a physician’s attention.
Skip the circumcision
If you aren’t going to circumcise for religious reasons, consider skipping it altogether. The AAP now considers circumcision an elective procedure, so many insurance companies aren’t covering it anymore.
Prepare in advance for maternity leave
As soon as you find out you’re expecting a baby, start saving money for maternity leave. Practice living on one income well in advance of the time your baby is born. This is also good advice if you’re not going to be returning to work at all. You’re more likely to succeed as a one-income family if you have practiced living on one income before you actually lose your income. It’s hard to learn how to live frugally when you’re not getting enough sleep.
Though it’s hard to be completely prepared when you’re expecting a baby, these are some good ways to minimize the financial impact of your baby’s birth. Do you have other suggestions? I’d love to hear your comments!
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There are 85 comments to "How to prepare for a baby (without going broke)".
Yes I like the idea of using cloth nappies (diapers)instead of the plastic throw away ones. For a small cost in washing them they seem more natural.
I enjoyed reading the article.
Thanks for posting.
I have been invited to a lot of baby showers and every time I go to Babies R Us or buybuy BABY I’m just overwhelmed by the myriad of products that are displayed. I think that these stores make would-be parents think that they need to spend a lot on things for their newborns. I do not have any children, but have been thinking about it. On my small salary, this has been a big concern for me. Thanks for clearing things up!
Excellent post.
I would say as well – a lot of baby “stuff” just isn’t necessary right away. Things like a crib are nice to have but we didn’t use ours until our baby was several months old.
If you can get a deal on something before the baby is born then go for it – but don’t rush around the last couple of weeks to try to get everything.
Also – I recommend not using a diaper change table – kids have a habit of rolling out of them.
Mike
@ Cornelius – I definitely like the idea that cloth diapers are more natural. Our landlord even gave us a break on our increased water bill, because he was impressed that we weren’t filling up the landfills with diapers. So there are unexpected savings as well. 🙂
@ PL – Babies R Us would definitely have you believe that you need to spend thousands on your baby. But really, babies don’t need a lot beyond lots of love and attention. That’s the most important thing.
It must be so much easier to practice frugality when it means saying “no” to something for yourself.
I’m sure it is hard to know what to do when every product says, “if you don’t buy this, you are ruining your baby.”
You parents have my sympathy.
Our good friends just announced to us last night that they are pregnant. And they said the main idea they have gathered from their reading so far is if they do ANYthing, they are going to hurt the baby 🙂
I should say that as I have watched my brother & his wife raise three girls, I have met some items I would not have thought existed, but are actually quite useful. So not all the new-fangled baby stuff is junk you don’t need. In other words, “my mom didn’t have one of these,” may not always be the best filter.
I really liked this article and agree on a lot of things having had a baby 21 months ago. My one objection is the “Consider Breastfeeding” suggestion. Many mothers do consider breastfeeding, like myself, and might end up not being able to for various reasons. For example, my son would not latch on properly, and I did pump (still cheaper than buying formula even though you need to rent or buy a pump), but after a few months, I was not making enough for my son. We turned to formula, and it was expensive! But there are ways to save money by signing up with different companies. They send you coupons. There are also generic formulas to consider but make sure it has the proper nutrients.
My biggest fear with having kids isn’t when they are infants. It’s once they learn to talk and ask for things. I have no problem telling myself “no” when I want something I don’t need. But when my little girl or boy asks for something, there is no way I will be able to say no to them.
Excellent post! I couldn’t agree more! I wasted so much time and money shopping for my first baby, looking back I think it was silly.
My 2 baby showers had me almost completely stocked up and all I really needed to buy was a crib, but I just had to go out and buy cute clothes and nonsense like a fool! Maybe it was the hormones!
Children’s consignment stores are great for babies and toddlers because they will go through things so quickly, paying retail seems crazy. Any one outfit will either be outgrown or ruined beyond use with a month or two, so spending 3$ at a consignment store takes the sting out!
Thanks for the great post!
Take Care
LJ
So many people say “We are waiting to get out of debt to have a baby.” I agree with that advice when it comes to buying a house, but not when it comes to starting a family. Your article correctly points out that it isn’t that expensive to have kids, if you approach the event with the same frugal approach you should take towards other life events. Great article!
We moved to cloth diapers for our third child, wish we did it with our other two. We will never go back (even though we aren’t having anymore).
I tell people this to this day and they go “That seems like so much work!”. But like you said in your post, its way easier now then what it used to be (from what I’ve heard).
Great post.
We have three boys, each about a year apart, and the one thing I’ve learned about planning for babies, is you really can’t plan. Of course, I mean that a little tongue in cheek. Yes, buy gently used, especially clothes (we had things that even with three boys got sold at a yardsale with tags still on them) and get as many hand-me-downs as you can, but go with new when it’s a car seat and make sure your crib is meeting current safety guidelines. Those hand-me downs may have slats just the right size for your little one to put their right head through…you may have to alter as you go along too. I ended up on pretty strong medication due to pregnancy/baby stuff and couldn’t breastfeed because we decided (doctor too) that it wasn’t the best for the babies to be ingesting it. Also, it’s just not a midwife vs. doctor issue, make sure your provider is in network whoever it is and figure out what insurance is going to cover and not. Some plans will say an epidural is not mandatory (for a normal delivery) and therefore you’re paying out of pocket for that plus the anethesiologist fees. You can find out if that’s the case and put that in your budget if that becomes necessary during labor. But by the time our third was born, the only thing we bought for him aside from his carseat was a three-seat jogging stroller because my husband is a runner. Our biggest financial challenge overall was that I quit my job to stay home and my husband was just starting a post-doc so we were strapped that way, but that’s probably another planning issue.
One more thing! Don’t forget to put the baby on your insurance! You have 30 days! Not 32!
Guess who learned that one the hard way? Two hospitalizations with minimal insurance will ruin anyone’s financial plan! Gah!
Great post – wish I could have been reading it nine years ago!
@ Joy – There are definitely times when breastfeeding isn’t an option. Thanks for pointing that out.
@ Dennis – You’d be surprised at how quickly you learn to say no to your kids! LOL
@ Frugal Dad – I totally agree that you shouldn’t base the decision to have kids solely on your financial situation. There will always be a good reason to wait.
@ Sharon – That’s very good advice. Insurance companies can be dicey as to what they will and won’t cover, and it’s best to know ahead of time, so you can plan accordingly. And I’m a stay at home mom, too, and it’s been financially tight while we raise our kids, but it’s been worth it.
You don’t need alcohol rubs for the umbilical cord site. Use of alcohol prolongs the amount of time it takes for the cord to fall off but is not any cleaner than using soap and water. Alcohol is only recommended with premature babies and in developing countries where risk of infection is higher.
Also while I agree that you don’t need a change table, I do think a mat is necessary.
One other thing I thought of – as far as the finances go I found that having a kid meant I couldn’t go out and do expensive stuff very often so I saved a LOT of money for that reason.
Mike
I appreciate this and any article/advice I can read on budgeting for baby. I’ve got the book Baby Bargains on order at the library, as well. We are spending this year whittling down our debt so that when we do try, and have, a kid we probably won’t be debt FREE but we will be in LESS debt than we are now LOL. We also want me to stay at home. Luckily, thanks to reading this blog and others, we have a savings account slowly accumulating funds to help offset my leaving the workforce!
Having six children, two of them still in diapers, I can easily say that the changing table we’ve had for 10 years is one of the least-used pieces of furniture we’ve ever owned…but somehow a necessity in every nursery setup.
We have 3-4 diaper-changing pads from the various diaper bags we’ve accumulated in different frequented rooms around the house each next to wipes & diapers. Messy pants don’t ever come at a convenient time or location, and sometimes running all the way to the nursery will make for an entire day of cleaning carpets. 😉
For moms who plan to return to a job, save ahead for daycare costs, if possible. With average monthly daycare anywhere from $1-3k in our area, it’s a pretty big bite (even when you are prepared ahead!). I put aside money for the first few months of daycare; it made the initial shock of paying a little easier, and got me used to our new budget earlier.
And once you’re back at work, check into a flex savings account to help cut taxes.
Great article, new parents always feel guilty if they don’t buy the latest and greatest saftey device, gadgets, also…
When estimating your budget:
1 Know your health insurance benefits – study your health insurance policies to know exactly what your possible out-of-pocket costs are going to be for prenatal and postnatal care, and birth.
2 Know your maternity-leave benefits – study your employment manual to know your company’s policies for maternal and paternal time off.
3 Update life and long -term disability insurance because when you have children your need for life and long-term disability insurance will increase.
Lastly, get or update wills and beneficiary arrangements on life insurance, retirement plan, IRAs and transfer on death accounts.
I’m pregnant and practicing most of these, but a few thoughts.
I’ve had a terrible time borrowing maternity clothes. Part of it has been the weather-it’s been so cold all I want to wear are pants and I don’t know where people find other women the same height and weight as them! But I’ve managed by buying a few things that all coordinate and mixing and matching.
Showers: I don’t love the concept. I just don’t like asking people, who may make less money than me, for gifts. I would rather just buy less and plan a little more. I know many people disagree, but I just don’t feel right about them.
I wholeheartedly agree that not every baby gadget is necessary. I was the lucky recipient of many pieces of baby equipment, thanks to generous friends and relatives. However, there were lots of things my kids never used. You really need to make decisions based upon your child.
Though I heard from many moms that it was a lifesaver for them, I never used my pack ‘n play. My kids hated it. However I got every penny’s worth out of the baby backpacks. And I found that even things that one of my offspring loved, the other one had no interest in.
As for influencing wish lists when your children are older, I find that not having cable is a lifesaver. 99% of the tv my kids watch are on PBS (no commercials.) If they don’t see it, they don’t know they should need it. 😉
I like all of the advice here, mostly because it was what I was thinking of doing. I am glad to hear someone else who has actually gone through having a baby recommends what I was planning. That alone makes me feel better about this upcoming event. And I will definitely check out the non-pin diapers. Pinning the baby was my only concern!
To drhands: What would be examples of the “items I would not have thought existed, but are actually quite useful. So not all the new-fangled baby stuff is junk you don’t need”?
Thanks for the great information! We are considering having a baby in the next year or two, but are totally unprepared for daycare costs! I get a federal discount, and even with that, costs would run around $511 bi-monthly! That’s like taking on another mortgage! How do people swing that?!
Great advice! I have a few years before my husband and I start on our family, but I love learning about this sort of thing now. It will hopefully save me a ton of money when the time comes 🙂
The cloth diaper thing is something I would never have considered before I started reading about it on blogs. I’ll definitely be keeping that in mind.
Great tips! I especially second the changing table. I never regretted not having one; I just put a changing pad on the floor and changed my baby that way… and there were no worries about her falling off the table.
Dennis, I understand your desire to say “yes” to your kids. One way to say “yes” and still watch your pocketbook is to give your children an allowance and let them say yes to themselves until the money is gone. Except for Christmas and her birthday, I rarely buy my child gifts (and I try to really limit gifts at those two occasions — it helps that my kid is an only grandchild, so she gets more than enough presents from her grandparents). If she wants something, she can save up for it and buy it herself. I started her allowance around age 4, and there are times I wondered if that was smart, but after almost five years of shopping with her own money, she really knows the value of a dollar.
Buying used is great but avoid buying a used carseat – you never know if its been in an accident!
If you’re planning on breastfeeding you may want to get in touch with breastfeeding groups like Le Leche League who can offer support before you have your baby (it can be a tough but rewarding experience). Also check your state and company’s policy on pumping when you return to work so you’ll know what to expect.
Even if you wait for gifts get the carseat relatively early (around 35 weeks). My son was born 5 weeks early and we had NOTHING prepared, not even a carseat to take him home in! (although this did work in our advantage, we found that we only bought what we needed, not what we thought we needed!)
Wanted to comment to Susan– yes it is hard to find used maternity clothes you like which fit well– since maternity clothes are sometimes more expensive found that buy hitting regular sales and buying larger sizes I could easily compensate for my baby belly. For example, I found tons of stuff at Old Navy (regular shirts, sweaters, etc) for super-cheap and I just bought larger sizes. Drawstring and yoga pants are perfect for pregnancy, as well as some of the low-rider jeans where the waistband sits very low under the belly. At the end of my pregnancy I did invest in a couple pairs of maternity jeans but basically I didn’t buy expensive maternity clothes for most of my pregnancy.
Thanks for an awesome post– I always look at people crossed-eyed when they protest that they can’t afford to have kids and quote the $250,000 price tag they’ve heard about the total cost of having a child. I am from a family of nine children and we certainly didn’t have all the luxuries babies are expected to have nowadays. I never even had a changing table with my first son and don’t plan on having one with my second. I think the only thing I ever bought for my son were onesies– other than that, people gave us excellent used items: crib, basinett, bouncy seat, playpen, swing, walker…and its so easy to find quality used items on craigslist or ebay. Babies don’t need much of anything except love and attention. And they don’t read the labels of thier clothes– only adults do that!
Excellent post, thanks so much!
Great post!
My wife and I are approaching the time for us to have a baby (3 years and counting). The cost is intimidating so I appreciate all of the advice in this post.
Once we had our kids, my wife decided to become a stay-at-home for the first few years. This decision cut our income in half and required sacrifice. We did it mostly becasue we strongly wanted our kids to be raised in their formative years by their parents, not a stranger. An added benefit is that it saves on daycare and transportation and medical bills (kids in daycare get sick more often). I’ve read that unless you make more than $30/year, it’s actually a financial loss to go back to work and put kids in daycare.
Just chiming in to second a couple of other posts. As someone who tortured my poor mother by refusing to breastfeed, I have to agree with Joy et al that it’s a good idea to be finanically prepared to have to supplement or replace breast milk with formula. For many women it is very hard emotionally when a child can’t/won’t breastfeed, you don’t want to make it worse by feeling unexpected expenses on top of it. And, until you actually have the kid, you just don’t know.
I’m a little surprised only one commenter mentioned life insurance. I know so many couples without kids that have no or minimal life insurance, because they figure if one partner dies, the other will basically go back to single life just fine. When children enter the picture, that doesn’t work so well.
Especially because a single-parent family pretty much requires paying for day care. I’m surprised this wasn’t addressed at all – it’s not just for the duration of maternity leave that one has to be prepared to live on one income; either the mother doesn’t go back to work (and maternity “leave” thus becomes somewhat permanent), or you’re paying very high prices for infant day care. When I say I don’t have children for financial reasons, the cost of childcare is by FAR the biggest of those reasons.
Adding to my last comment, another money-saving idea is to make your own baby food. We used a blender/food processor to make baby food from various vegetable and fruits and such, which can be frozen and thawed out later. Besides saving a ton of money by not paying for store-bought food, our kids are eating a wide variety of vitamin-rich, preservative-free meals.
For Dennis who said, “when my little girl or boy asks for something, there is no way I will be able to say no to them”, I want to suggest that it’s important to say ‘no’ or ‘maybe later’ sometimes. It teaches kids deferred gratitification, and that they can’t have everything they want all the time, that your resources are not limitless, that they have to sacrifice some things to be able to have other things. I’m not saying to crush their spirits, but to use every opportunity as a teachable moment.
The most important things kids need, more than gadgets, is love and attention. And being read to, even if they can’t understand what you’re saying, read. And another money-saving tip is that you should forget about buying a ton of books or movies, but go to the library instead. They have every kids book and movie you could ever think of, and it introduces your kids to a world of literacy and community.
-Rich.
Good post — we learned all this as we went along. I was lucky to work with some people who were happy to clear out the baby stuff just as we needed it! We have tried to pass along our stuff to others when we’re done with it.
It’s pretty easy to say no to your kids if you’re comfortable with what you ARE providing them, and what you’re trying to teach them. I agree with pps about allowance. Our 4 & 6 yo both get allowances, so if they want junky things we don’t want to buy them, they can buy it for themselves.
Also, a lot of overspending on kids is about what other people think. “Competitive parenting” and “keeping up with the Jones’ kids” can be very expensive. If you want to spend modestly on your kids, avoid the trendy/affluent neighborhoods or suburbs, where the “average” toddler wears designer clothes and the “average” teenager gets a car at 16 and goes to Europe every year. Either that, or prepare yourselves and your kids to “drop out” of the competition and be comfortable with your lifestyles. We’re doing a bit of both.
The other reasons parents tend to overspend are guilt and “wanting to give their kids more they I had”. It’s not good for parents to spend a lot of money on the kids just to make themselves feel like better parents.
I wanted to add in preparation for a baby, learn how to use coupons! We didn’t use coupon normally, but once we had our son and things got tight, I started to look for ways to save money. Coupons are awesome if you learn the right way to use them. Some grocery stores even double and triple coupons, so if the items is on sale and you have a coupon, you might get it for pennies or even for free. Even saving $5 or $6 is helpful on a tight budget! I subscribe to a mommies board in my area, and there are threads about how much money they save on triple coupon days! I am amazed how they get over $100 worth of groceries for less than $10! So learn how to use coupons before you have a baby!
We have our cloth diapers delivered here in Portland for $61/month. Of course, they pick up the dirty ones, too. I wouldn’t know how much disposables cost, but I would think they’d be more expensive than using cloth.
I meant more than $30K/year, not $30/year….obviously….
….unless you make more than $30K/year it’s a fiancial loss to go back to work and put a kid in daycare.
There’s a zillion-and-one reasons for breastfeeding -OTHER- than the price. So that’s a complete slam-dunk. It’s incomprehencible to me that anyone would ever plan anything else. Sure, there’s the cases where breastfeeding for various reasons don’t work, but that’s the small minority, 5-10% perhaps.
Google “health benefits breastfeeding” — and that’s benefits for BOTH mother and child.
SKIP THE CIRCUMCISION!????
Don’t set him up for torturous teen years. Get him circumcised before he knows how to even say circumcision. Once he knows what that word is, and that there are more boys that are circumcised (pending on what part of the world you are from of course) he will be awfully embarrassed. And then if he wants the surgery, he has to think about the pain it will cause. Oh my god. I’m so glad I don’t remember that procedure. Thinking about it makes me shiver.
Justin Dupre
Working as a social worker with moms and babies… with some exceptions, yes, breastfeeding is best for babies and moms. The health benefits for both are great, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out. While (hopefully) not an issue for this audience, I also deal a lot with substance abusing moms–they definitely are not the best candidates to breastfeed their babies until they get and stay clean. 🙁
Great advice! I’d like to add: Keep your receipts! There’s been a lot of stuff we got either in duplicate or didn’t really need that we were able to return for items we did need. And Babies R Us is overwhelming but you don’t need everything they sell by any means.
Put what you need on your baby registry. Plan on getting clothes from a lot of people. Try not to buy clothes if possible. You’ll get clothes as gifts and hand-me-downs and your little one will outgrow them at an incredible rate!
We didn’t get a changing table more as a matter of space but I’m glad we didn’t. Out little guy squirms a lot when he’s changed and if he were on a table I would be real nervous! We use a foam covered changing pad, that would be put on a changing table, on our bed when we change him.
Craig’s list can be a great resource for baby stuff cheap as well as online mom’s groups. We recently bought a $60 toy chest for $25!
Two good resources worth the money: the books What to Expect When Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. Lots of great info in those books!
Breast feeding rocks (if you can do it)! So much healthier for baby.
Please oh Please do NOT circumcize your child just to save them some embarrassment. What a horrid reason. Other horrid reasons include “I want him to look like his daddy” and “I don’t want his future girlfriends to think he looks weird.” Seriously – if your religion dictates circumcision that’s one thing, but for other couples, please research the procedure and come to an EDUCATED reason to do it or not do it – leave juvenile things like “He’ll get teased in the locker room” out of it.
Rich Money Million, you said “I’ve read that unless you make more than $30/year, it’s actually a financial loss to go back to work and put kids in daycare.”
I’d love any more information or articles or direction towards where you go this figure. I agree with it and have looked at the “second income calculators” which suggest it, but any other ‘proof’ you know of would be wonderful. 🙂
I have to agree with Justin. And I hope parents don’t skip the circumcision just to save money. They should make an informed decision about the health of their baby.
My nephew ended up having complications from not have the “elective procedure” and they got it done a few years later. Yeah, not a fun experience for him.
Please oh Please do NOT circumcise your child just to save them some embarrassment. What a horrid reason! Other horrid reasons include “I want him to look like his dad” and “I don’t want his future girlfriends to think he looks funny.” Seriously – if your religion dictates you circumcise, it’s one thing, but other couples should research the procedure and come to an EDUCATED decision on whether or not to do it. “So he won’t get teased in the locker room” is the most juvenile reason I can think of, for circumcision. *headdesk*
Rich Money Million, I’d be interested on any links or info on what you said about it being a loss for people making 30k or less a year to go back to work.
Great post.
I posted a very similar article for the benefit of my brother a few weeks ago.
http://the-enobling-journey.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-we-got-ready-for-baby.html
Life Insurance and other estate planning: I agree that contemplation of these issues should occur even without kids, but they take particular importance with kids. In fact, it probably should be its own post someday. And yes, life insurance can expensive especially for us “older parents.” And there’s not much you can do about it.
Despite the constant well-meaning advice we got about how we shouldn’t try to wait until we were financially ready, and that “there’s never a good time, just go for it”, I still believe the best decision we ever made was to wait to have children until we were out of debt (six years after we got married). If we had still been paying on our student loans, there would have been many desperate months in our son’s first two years: In that time we have experienced three layoffs, an owner move-in eviction, and an involuntary short-term reduction to part-time work. It has been stressful but because we had money saved and low regular monthly bills we have been fine. We enjoyed the extra time with our son while we were unemployed or underemployed. Now that he’s started preschool (and he has made it very clear that he wants to be there five days/week; it is an excellent program and all the part-time kids beg their parents to let them come extra days) we are both working full-time again. But we learned the hard way that life doesn’t give you a break just because you had a baby. Having money saved means that you don’t have to hope that nothing goes wrong.
Also, don’t forget to update wills and life insurance when you have a child. Most of our friends who are trying to be “frugal” decide to just skip them outright.
On the topic of circumcision — there are reasons other than cosmetic and religious for why parents would not want to forgo this expense. Circumcision dramatically reduces the rate of penis cancer (1 in 600 for uncircumcised vs. 1 in 100,000 for circumcised). Rates of almost all STD/STIs and HIV are higher in uncircumicised males.
The few hundred dollars it costs for this procedure is worth the health benefit.
FWIW of the eight boys under age three in my social circle, only ONE has been circumsized (so far) and his mother is the one who is worried about teasing in the locker room.
Great article. One suggestion for those who are disinclined to go the cloth diaper route. My aunt and uncle just had a kid and have 3 types of diapers for her (yes, three!): the cheapest is for everyday in-the-house use, middle price is for going out on excursions, and most expensive is for nighttime. It makes for more management, but it works for them!
I’ve got two boys. We did the research and decided not to do it. Our pediatrician, who is a practicing Jew and a guest lecturer at the state medical school, told us that there is no convincing evidence that being circumcised presents less health risks of any kind.
And then I did more research into my religion and found that there’s no theological basis for circumcision one way or the other.
Then I figured, if I have this done, I have to live with myself that I’m totally having this done to save my kid some embarrasement, which (in my humble opinion) is completely irrational and not the right way to parent.
Wow, lots of comments!
As far as circumcision and breastfeeding go, I absolutely think that parents should do the research and make the best decision for their family. But if you’re ambivalent about it, foregoing the circumcision will definitely save money.
Personally, we decided to do the circumcision on our son, but I know it’s becoming more and more common not to circumcise.
And about waiting until you get out of debt, be careful that you don’t wait too long. It turned out that we had fertility problems, and if I had waited another 10 years to try to get pregnant, it probably wouldn’t have happened, so I’m very glad we didn’t wait.
Thanks for all your comments and great suggestions! There’s lots of stuff to think about here!
Don’t forget to research childcare no later than your 3rd trimester. Even if you plan to stay home, you’ll want someone who can keep the baby for a couple of hours now and then so you can go on a date, visit the doctor’s office in peace, or even go to the grocery store and not have to rush out because the baby gets hungry half-way through.
If planning to go back to work, remember that the best child care providers often have waiting lists, and you’ll want to be on one of them before you go into labor.
We use full-time childcare because we both work, and that’s been the single biggest cost of becoming parents. It’s also the one place we refuse to cut corners – we pay good money for the great care my son receives, and that’s more than fair.
I nursed and pumped at work for a year, and we only had to add a little supplemental formula after 8 months or so. Our day care was great about using frozen breast milk, and my pump more than earned its keep.
Baby #2 is coming along in July and we’re cranking back on expenses and paying off whatever we can to make sure the budget will handle 2 children in day care.
thanks for the tips!
My wife and I are planning to start having kids this year. These tid-bits have been helpful.
i keep hearing that there is never a “right” time to have a baby. but there are definitely wrong times to have a baby.
we are currently between the classical rock and hard place: wait too much longer and i may have another tumor, rendering me unable to tolerate the hormonal challenges of pregnancy. but both of us are in school and barely make the bills for the two of us, so it’s not really an option to expand our family now.
don’t forget that adoption is a viable alternative to those who may wait too long.
Another thing to consider is that a lot of the costs of having a baby are one-time costs, but can be used over and over. We are expecting #2 in June but won’t need a crib, stroller, car seat, and a bunch of other things because we still have them from our son. We’ll have to spend some to move our son into a bed, but even that will be minimal compared to what we spend when he was born.
Nice post Lynnae. My wife and I did cloth diapers with our first child and started to do it again with our 2nd but it was just to much work for us so we scraped the idea. But it did save money, no doubt about that. By the way, cloth diapers are great in the garage for washing the car, cleaning stuff, etc!
Most people don’t circumcize their boys anymore, at least not here in Canada. I believe the rate here has fallen from about 50% in the 70s to less than 5% today. In fact, most of the men I know were not circumcized and they’re in their 30s.
Breastfeeding is definitely cheaper, more convenient and safer for most families. Some people, for a variety of reasons, are unable to do so and should not be made to feel bad about it. However, the vast majority of people can breastfeed if they have enough help and information.
Cloth diapers are great. We are doing this for the second time through. Considering that more and more research is showing that disposables contain phthalates, it seems like we made a good decision.
A word of caution about buying used furniture and car seats. Car seats have dates on them and are only good for 5 years (except for Britax). If you’re planning on spacing your kids 2-3 years apart, you’re going to need to buy another car seat. So you might as well buy a new one the first time.
Also, if you’re buying a new crib for $400, you’ll be able to sell it later for half that. But, if you buy a used crib for $200, you may not be able to sell it later. I believe general guidelines now say that cribs are only good for around 4 years or so. After that, consignment shops and Craigslist buyers won’t buy them. Same goes for strollers.
Of course, if you simply don’t have the money to buy new the first time, you can go with used. However, if you have a little extra cash, you should probably buy new.
(This said by a very frugal mom.)
I know so many people who spend money on anything and everything new and improved for their children. Many things they buy are just worthless, or the same results could be had by cheaper, dare I even say used things!! They will be going into debt soon, if they aren’t already!!
When working with babies, I’ve witnessed a few circumcisions…and the babies always seem really miserable. Plus I’ve talked with the doctors and nurses and many of them think that it’s unnecessary and not really useful either.
Those are lots of good tips, too. 🙂
We are so doing the cloth diapers when it is time. As for circumcisions, I don’t think it’s all the bad, otherwise everyone who had one might remember it! 😉
Diapers and food, especially if it is your first baby….once you clear 20 weeks, start buying diapers, baby food (and formula if not breast feeding)….look for the sales and stock up hard. We found diapers on sale numerous times and actually bought our first “post birth” diapers when our son was THREE 😉 Food, we also found numerous sales….people would look at us as if we were nuts because here we would come with a shopping cart FULL of baby food….it was normally .77 cents a jar and we found it on sale twice for .28 cents per jar…..we never bought baby food again.
Also, when you have your baby showers, ask for diapers, baby food, formula, you name it…..besides, you are most likely going to be taking a TON of items back to the store anyway, why not have a practical shower instead?
Good Luck if you are expecting!
Great to read your inspired post,
Its true , sharing & giving from friends saves ,
All the best,
Tracy Ho
wisdomgettingloaded
While there are certainly some reasons that certain individuals can’t or oughtn’t breastfeed their babies, that should not lead away from the fact that it is a practice which should be considered! The W.H.O. now recommends breastfeeding for babies until the age of two, and it is recommended as “the preferred feeding for all infants” by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
In addition, if your insurance covers it, our family has had excellent experiences with a nurse midwife, and we also recommend a doula to help with the birth experience. Both of these professionals were amazing for us!
We used cloth diapers for our son, being determined to go “green” before that word was popular (we were “earth mothers” in those days). Well, the result was a ferocious case of diaper rash!!!
Ouch! Poor little baby. No amount of diaper rash cream helped.
Add to that the urine and poop all over everything (plastic panties aggravate diaper rash) and the discoveries that
a) paper diapers biodegrade and don’t take up that much room in landfills;
b) the energy costs of heating & consuming large quantities of wash water to wash cloth diapers several times a week and of making and marketing detergent, Clorox, and diaper rash creams equal or exceed the environmental costs of paper diapers; and
c) if you use a service, the consumption of gasoline for pick-up and delivery and for employees to drive to a plant to work plus the use of environmentally unfriendly commercial wash products will up those environmental costs significantly.
The diaper rash cleared up as soon as we switched to disposable diapers.
BTW, there’s nothing cruel or abusive about saying “no” to every little whim. To the contrary, it may be abusive to shower kids with everything they want.
The adult children I know today who suffer the worst psychological and behavioral problems grew up with affluent parents who couldn’t bring themselves to say “no” and still can’t. One woman persists in paying auto insurance and buying cars for a 25-year-old daughter who drinks and drives — even after the kid got a DWI. Poor baby can’t get to work if Mom doesn’t pay for her car, and heaven forfend she should take the bus and learn the real cost of irresponsibility.
Some children never recover from a lifetime of unthinking indulgence by their parents.
Good information. I used many of these ideas 18 months ago when we had our first baby. We were able to purchase nearly everything we needed used.
May I just suggest, go easy on the “borrowing.” Borrowing means that you intend to give something back, and it should probably be in the same condition as when you received it. Things like cribs, blankets, bottles, car seats would probably work well to be “borrowed,” because they hardly wear out. Also, just because you know someone that has baby stuff they’re not currently using doesn’t mean your entitled to barrow it.
For example, I have a nice battery powered baby swing in storage. I intend to use it for future children. I’m not sure how long battery powered swings last, but since it is mechanical certainly not forever. I have a friend who will shortly be delivering multiple babies, she just expects that she’ll be offered to barrow our swing. I just hope after she returns it to us there will still be enough life left for our future child/children, and am disappointed that she just expects we will loan it to her.
The situation goes much deeper than this, but just a warning to be careful with “borrowing.” I’d say ideally it would be better if you were “given” stuff from someone who no longer needed it.
My husband and I practice the attached parenting style which also decreases our necessary expenses. By co-sleeping we avoid the cost of cribs or bassinets all together. By baby wearing we don’t need swings, bouncy chairs or other safe confinement devices. We do have a pack-n-play for times when its inconvenient/illogical to hold the baby (like while cooking).
@ ak, I’d like to see your sources because I’ve been researching circumcision and have yet to find any conclusive benefits. FYI, most other countries don’t circumcise and don’t have higher rates of infections, STDS, or damaging effects.
Please make sure you research any decision you make (cloth diapering, breastfeeding, circumcision) and make it YOUR choice.
http://www.circumstitions.com/Mayo.html
Yes, review your insurance coverages because now, you might have more to cover.
Also, you may want to consider having a lawyer set up a simple trust for your child if both of you should die or become incapacitated. Without a trust, it is rare that the new guardian could be challenged successfully regarding the prudence of their spending. A trust would legally obligate the trustee to spend the funds with prudence for the benefit of your child. (ie. that money’s for college, not a BMW 7 series).
I think the biggest one on the list is preparing for maternity leave – its a year of pretty much one income. This is something that can be virtually catastrophic for someone seriously in debt. I know its the one that I’ll be thinking about most when my wife is pregnant.
Freecycle and Craig’s List are my friend! I was able to get a new crib for free (well, kinda new, they “used” it for 2 kids who slept in mom & dad’s bed 99% of the time).
I also find shopping off season and clearance racks helps save a ton, and online too! I got a swing I have been wanting for $60 off retail by watching it on Amazon.com.
I also have a friend who is moving and I offered to take any baby stuff she does not want to move off her hands.
I wish I had not purchased so much, I know she will never use them all, but hey, she will be my only girl after 3 boys…
We cloth diaper and use a dresser top with a pad as a “changing table” and I use a car seat that will work from birth to 50 lbs. I splurged on an Amby bed, but I got it used on eBay for 2/3rds the cost. And I *WILL* re-sell everything back on eBay or to consignment stores to fund the next size up.
The trust may be a good idea, but really, the odds that not one of you but -both- should be incapitated or dead (with the kid still alive, if you all die in a plane-crash the trust isn’t needed) is so vanishingly small that there are literally thousands of other risks more worth worrying about.
ALL TRUE! I did MOST of it when preparing for my son (he is two and half now)! My sister is getting ready to have a baby now and I tried to tell her not to buy anything, wait for the baby showers…she didn’t listen and it has been difficult for everyone to buy her gifts for her shower. All scared she bought it already! I know she needs things…so it is a shame she didn’t let anyone help!
Please reconsider use of a midwife – or any non-hospital delivery plans.
The hospital and its experts are there in case of problems.
In the case of son #3 – his umbilical cord was wrapped 3 times around his torso, and he would have strangled himself without an emergency C-section.
Stuff like that happens.
This is a one-time expense, which is at least partially covered by most insurance plans – and can literally make the difference between joyous life and tragic death.
@Ben-David several midwives deliver in hospitals or free standing birthing centers. One of the requirements of several home-birth midwives are that you must be within 50 miles of a hospital. I’m sure your wife’s labor was not progressing (which a midwife would be able to identify just as easily as a doctor) which led to the decision to have an emergency c-section. A woman can always be transferred to a hospital if her labor becomes complicated, however, you can’t just leave a hospital and have a baby at home if your labor is going well.
I’ve only seen co-sleeping and babywearing mentioned once here, but we did these with all three of our kids. MUCH happier babies=better rested, healthier family. Plus, with the wrap we used, we didn’t need most of the other baby equipment. We bought a Exersaucer for $10 at a yard sale so we had something to put the baby in while we were doing something like cooking. We only used it for a couple of months. And because we didn’t have all that baby gear, we had more room in our house.
Another thing that hasn’t been mentioned at all is early potty training. We didn’t find out about this until our youngest, but it saved us tons of money on diapers! Besides which getting her out of diapers very early meant we were no longer exposing our family to e-coli and other fecal germs. The book Early Start Potty Training by Dr. Linda Sonna is available many places. Our daughter was using the potty much of the time by the time she was 9 months old, and almost all of the time by 15 months. One small bag of diapers would usually last us a 4-5 weeks.
We also made our own baby food with the last one, and used a midwife for a home birth. If you live within 20 minute of a hospital, you’re in the same position that you would be having the baby in a hospital, since that’s the amount of time it takes to prep a C-section room. Just make sure your midwife is certified. Good ones will not take mothers that should give birth in a hospital.
Finally, reading to your baby inutero, and then exposing them to bright, simple books from birth, with save you all kinds of money in the long run. Illiteracy bears a high cost.
We’ve got 3, twin girls and a son.
One thing that strikes me is that though there is much sound advice, there is also much that is nonsense, or which neglects stuff that may -GASP- be more important than money.
There are many reasons you may want to give birth at home. Saving what is, in the greater scheme of things, a minute amount of cash is NOT one of them.
Similarily, deciding to let your son undergo surgery or not, based on a few hours salary is downright crazy. There are many reasons both ways, I’d never even consider it, but spending the needed cash is not a reason.
Indeed — isn’t that why you’re saving in the first place ? For being able to spend it on important stuff ? If giving birth to your child doesn’t qualify as “important” I don’t know what will.
Also, don’t forget to optimise for TIME, young parents tend to have even less of that than of CASH. You may, or may not, save money on using cloth-diapers and washing, it depends on energy and water prices and many other things. What is however certain is that it’ll cost you a LOT of time.
Having -TIME- for your children should also, in my not particularily humble opinion, qualify as IMPORTANT.
Our twin girls for example, in their 6 first months each needed to be changed aproximately all 4 hours (your mileage may vary, in general you need to change MORE with cloth-diapers), this works out to 8 a day, 55 a week, which where we live is 1 packet of diapers, cost of which is equivalent of 20 minutes of work.
How much time does it take to rinse, wash, dry, fold, put away 56 cloth-diapers ? I don’t know. Seems a fair bet it’s more than 20 minutes. So if money was the main priority, I’d be better off working 20 minutes more and going with disposables. Unless rinsing and washing cloth-diapers is more pleasant than your day-job, in which case I humbly suggest you should consider a change of careers.
I realize couples with only 1 child aren’t as pressed for time as we are with 3, including the baby twins, but on the other hand, if it’s your first (and it will be if you’ve got only one) then you need more time for some stuff because you ain’t yet got the routine.
I think with us a lot of the choices we made were for other reasons–health, happiness, optimal development, relationships, space constraints (with no baby gear). The fact that the short and longterm net effect was a savings in money was really at the end of the list. We skipped artificial milk and fed our babies the normal way for a variety of reasons, including worries about the slight lowering of IQ and greater risk of illness that comes with artificial feeding. We decided to eat organic and then just blend up the food for our older babies because of not wanting so many little glass jars around, and realizing they were only going to eat a dab anyhow. We wore our babies and shared sleep for a happier baby, less stress, etc. It was a happy accident that it all saved money then, and now (healthier family)!
Another option to consider as far as diapers go: a brand called gDiapers. I haven’t tried them yet (I’m due in June) but am excited about it. They combine the environmentalism of cloth diapers with the convenience of diposables. They just have an insert that you flush down the toilet (or even throw away) and unlike disposables the do biodegrade. The website has a video that shows that it is completely gone within a year compared to disposables which were still fully intact.
If anyone has used these, do they work well?
I hope so, personally I’m not quite ready to make the jump to cloth.
P.S. Still a lot cheaper than diposables!
Great Article! I am due in February but have already started to research. My husband and I are from the US, but currently living in Thailand. I considered using cloth diapers, but I am not comfortable having to clean them myself. I looked into a service, but I did not find any available here. I did find out though, that some of the services use chemicals to clean the diapers that can be just as harmful as those found in disposables. Just something to be aware of. I have found some healthy and environmentally friendly alternatives such as Seventh Generation, Tushies, and Nature Babycare. The benefits vary from diaper to diaper, so do your research.
I am trying to be as green as possible not only for the health benefits I believe my child will receive, but also because it is good for the environment. While things do cost more, I feel the expense is worth it. For example, my husband as terrible allergies, so bad he started receiving weekly shots as a child. I’m hoping organic cotton and chemical free items may spare my child the annoyance and help reduce medical expenses.
We also try to eat as much organic foods as possible. While it is more difficult here to find organic than in the US, I figure something is better than nothing.
Also, my husband and I set up our will before we found out we were expecting. But, we had the will prepared to address any future children. No point in paying to have a will rewritten.
Lisa,
Since you’re in Thailand, you’re in a great position to do early potty training. It’s the norm in the non-Westernized world. There will be many older women over there who can give you practical tips.
The non-Westernized world is astounded and somewhat sickened that we force our babies and small children to wear what are essentially soft portapotties at ages when their kids have long been using the potty on their own. We use more resources, from landfills, petroleum, water, and soaps; we go to much higher expenses. And we have a much higher germ load from it.
It is easy, positive, and natural. Babies are geared at birth not to soil themselves, although they don’t have the ability to hold it long. If you catch their cue, they can hold it a short while so you can get them to the right spot so they can let go. It’s actually less trouble than changing diapers (and washing them): get familiar with their schedule and cues, and then just have a covered container handy to hold them over. There are portable covered baby potties that are perfect for this, or you can just use your own toilet. They DO learn, early, to hold it until they’re in position. And once they’re old enough to put themselves in position, they’ll use it with no problems. The knowledge and willingness is what we really mean by potty training, because even 3-year-olds usually need some help in the bathroom, and about as much as a 12-month-old in terms of handling clothes.
You’re in Thailand, so you may be able to buy the Chinese split-crotch baby clothes that are specifically made for this. They wear these from birth until they’re old enough to pull down their pants on their own, so they come in tiny sizes.
I mentioned how good this is for the environment, health, and budget, but it’s even better for the child’s self-esteem. No power struggles this way; no sense that they are a “baby”. No falling asleep in their own excrement that they are powerless to get out of.
I encourage you to give it a try, especially given where you’re living. The book I mentioned in a previous post is an excellent, research-based resource.
Co sleeping eliminated a crib/bassinet for us. We use a waterproof bassinet pad for changing them and place one under sleeping baby with a receiving blanket on top. High chairs are a complete waste.
I say, grab a pack n’ play ($50 new on amazon), a few waterproof mats ($6 for 2 at Walmart), 2 packs onesies, a few footsies, a hat, some socks, some receiving blankets, wipes and dipes. Nurse and grab a sling so you don’t need bottles or a stroller.
Having a ‘personal protection package’ is something that every parent should want to ensure your child’s lifestyle will be assured no matter what happens to each parent during childhood. Purchasing various types of life insurance and income protection insurance can help here. Be careful of the fine print of insurance policies. Get advice from a specialist.
Thanks for your article.
I have to admit this is a really great article!! My fiance and I are getting married May 2012, all of our friends have children we have quite a few with 2 or more. Although we are younger, we have always had a love for babies and know that after the wedding we will be ready. My in-laws already have a daughter who is 12 years older than us but has never been married or had children, so you can assume that the in-laws are ready for grandchildren. However, people are always trying to scare us by saying “babies are too expensive” some even say that “they ruin your life” but we have both been such baby-lovers that it was hard to believe. For a while we actually believed them until I came across this post. After reading it with my future husband, we feel much more better about having a baby. I have started looking at craigslist and cant believe how much stuff you can get at such a low price! Beats buying overpriced stuff at the store. Best thing about buying the stuff from craigslist is (if your like us and only want one child), you can sell it to others and get your money back!
Thank you EVERYONE for the comments & thank you for the post! You have made our lives so much better(:
I agree that this post is an excellent one! It was very informative, and answered a bunch of questions. I anticipate being home with my future children. I especially like being “backed up” with the ideal of living off of one income. My husband didn’t understand, I’ve been explaining for a couple of years that I’m just not on that trend of carry, birthing, and partially raising my child- as in depositing the child in a child care center day after day! I love all the ideals of being earth-friendly and using as many natural processes and interacting with babies. Also, I’m so for paying less less less. This article post just made my planning a bit more exciting!
Great tips. As an expectant mother, I find these tips very helpful. Yeah I will be breastfeeding to save and to make my baby healthier. I was also given baby stuff like baby monitor, old baby clothes, stroller and even crib by my friends and older sister.
I get where you are coming from with it being less expensive without circumcision… At least at first. However many scientists have now found being circumcised helps men fight against STDs, infection, and other things in life. I’ve even known several men who didn’t get circumcised and got infections to the point they had to be circumcised as toddlers, or simply live with the issues. So cheaper at first yes, but not in the long run. Whether you are religious or not.