How to get more tips as a server
In 2004 Dr. Michael Lynn, associate professor at the Cornell University School of Hotel Administration, produced a paper entitled “Mega Tips: Scientifically Tested Techniques to Increase Your Tips” [PDF]. If you work in a restaurant, reading this pamphlet could help you increase your earnings. But if you don’t work in food service, knowing these techniques may help you separate good service from subtle manipulation! Lynn writes:
The techniques described [here] were mostly tested in low to mid-priced, casual dining restaurants. Thus, these techniques should work in such informal operations as [Applebee’s, Chili’s, Denny’s, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, and TGI Friday’s]. On the other hand, these techniques may not work in more formal, upscale restaurants such as Chart House, Morton’s of Chicago, or Ruth Chris Steak House. In fact, most of the techniques would be inappropriate in the more formal atmosphere of fine dining restaurants.
Among the scientifically-tested techniques to improve tips are these:
Wear something unusual
“Although you must usually wear a server’s uniform at work, add a distinctive element of clothing, jewelry or other adornment to your uniforms so that you stand out. This will help customers perceive you as an individual person rather than a faceless member of the staff.”
Introduce yourself by name
Because introducing yourself can make you seem friendly and polite, the customer is more likely to feel empathy toward the server, thus increasing tips.
Squat next to the table
Oh, how I hate when a server does this, and yet research continues to indicate that it leads to increased tips. In fact, it makes a difference of about 20% (or $1/per table).
Repeat customers’ orders
Repeating orders demonstrates that the server has the information correct.
Smile at customers
“Research has confirmed the cultural wisdom on smiling and has found that smiling people are perceived as more attractive, sincere, sociable and competent than are unsmiling people.”
Sell, sell, sell
In college I applied for a job at Red Robin. “What’s the best way to increase your tips?” the manager asked me during the interview. I gave every answer but the one he was looking for: sell more stuff.
Touch customers
Research shows that casually touching customers increases the tips of both male and female servers, but it’s more effective with young customers than with older customers.
Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check
These little messages convey friendliness and encourage goodwill.
Give customers candy
“People generally feel obligated to reciprocate when they receive gifts from others. You can benefit from this by giving your customers after-dinner mints or candies. Upon receiving such gifts, most customers will reciprocate by increasing their tips.”
I don’t blame servers for employing these techniques to improve their earnings — I waited tables for several years and drew many smiley faces on customer checks — but I hope they don’t blame me if I decide to base my tips on the quality of service. If you really want to earn more from me, keep my water glass filled!
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There are 127 comments to "How to get more tips as a server".
that’s strange, as a customer I don’t care about most of those tricks the servers pull. the only test I have for them is if they bring me more water before I run out. if so, they get a tip. and heh, same thing for JD!
oh, the touching thing… keep your hands off of me!
So many idiots chiming in and alerting the media that “I don’t want to be touched.”
That’s why they do a scientific study. They didn’t conclude that EVERY customer wants to be touched. The results showed that on the whole, it makes a big difference…that MOST customers tip more when touched.
Since servers are not mind-readers, then it would be wise to touch 10 out of 10 customers, knowing that 9 will tip higher and 1 in 10 will tip neutrally or lower.
I don’t like to be touched by people I don’t know.
Also, the squatting thing seems to have been replaced around here, at least when the party is seated in a booth, by the server sliding in to sit down while taking the order.
I waited tables for years, and the best advice that I could give is to anticipate what people need. If they’re eating something spicy, bring more water; if they’re eating something messy, bring an extra napkin; if they’re sharing a dish, bring out an extra plate…before they have to ask.
Oh, and I definitely agree with LM on the touching.
I think this list leaves out the most basic ones! Be friendly, be accessible, be attentive, and be professional…
The ones listed would make you a bit sneaky in my opinion, and lots of them are absolutely inappropriate in most of the places i chose to eat out!
BTW, I can’t stand when waiters touch me! Sure way to get no tip at all, and a remark to not touch me again! Absolute no-no!
After our softball games in the summer, our team frequents a local bar. We go there because the beer is cheap, and the service is excellent. They know that we are regulars so we tend to get more attention and more service. Servers: Remember your regulars!
There’s a small Mexican restaurant 3 blocks from our home. It’s a trendy place, but it is quite small (like 10 tables). Again, we are regular customers who eat there about 1 time a month. Since they only have 2 servers, they know us, and they know what we like to drink, and they know that I really like their chips. I almost always get extra chips from them without asking, or get a doggie bag of chips for the home. This increases their tips because I feel like I was served excellently.
Love the pic.. Welcome to Chaskies! is someone having a case on the Mondays??
I think the reason for the touching is to help form a bond w/the person. While it may only be a perceived bond, when someone touches another, you are forced to see them as a person, and not as a member of the staff. Thus you will be more likely to tip better. However, there are a few people who this would have the opposite effect on…but I would imagine a simple touch on the shoulder or something similar would not bother most people.
I dunno, I have a tendency to start avoiding restaurants where servers do things like this. I won’t tip less over them, but I will stop going there if devices like these seem to be restaurant policy.
I was a server at Ruby Tuesday back 20 years ago. My best tip was to buddy up with someone waiting on the section next to mine. I would run her orders out, she would run mine, I would make sure her customers had their tea/water/soda glasses filled when I re-filled mine.
We didn’t split our tip money, but both of us would see increases because of our team efforts.
I am “older” (between 50 and 60) and I definitely do not want to be touched by servers, ever.
I start out assuming I’ll leave 20% and the amount goes up or down depending on several things that happen or don’t happen.
It goes way down if they become inattentive because I’m a woman eating alone or with a female companion. The idea that women tend to tip poorly is not true, but servers can make that happen by assuming it will.
It goes up if I get someone like Mikell in comment #2, who anticipates what I might want or need.
It goes down if there are two or more of us and the server keeps saying “you guys” to us. I’m not a guy!
It goes up in general when I get the feeling that the person cares — about me and about their job. And it goes down when I get the feeling the server would rather be somewhere else or have a different customer to wait on.
As a server if you were by your self you may perceive that I am being inattentive because most of the time people that come out to eat by themselves are doing work or reading or usually want to be left alone to their own thoughts, it has nothing to do with you being a woman and thinking women don’t leave good tips I’ve never heard anyone say that before and a lot of my best tips have come from women. It’s simply courtesy I wouldn’t want some one bothering me if I was trying to do some work while I was getting a bite to eat. And on the “you Guys” things, it’s just they way some one talks, they know your not a guy and that your a woman but no one says “hey women” and referring to them as “ladies” as “Hi ladies” can be perceived as a sexist or inappropriate greeting by some women. You could just be a empathetic human being and understand that every body uses different greetings, and you should be able to accept that and move on with out penalizing them for something that they didn’t even realize was offensive to you. Are you so insecure about whether you look like a woman or not? Self centered people like you are the reason why things are so ass-backwards nowadays. Your a person I’m a person that waiter you left a bad tip is a person and none of us are any more special or deserving then the other. and the 50-60 age range. what do you care if people know how old you are no one knows who you are with your clever little “ANNE ONIMOUS” you must think your a stand up comic or maybe some prolific writer but it’s lame and cliche. SO next time before you leave a bad tip why don’t you think about the fact that that person’s well being and able to pay rent and live depends on your 20% and if you cant afford to go out and eat and tip well then stay home and cook something yourself.
While these things can increase tips, they must be done *in addition* to giving good service. And as Mikell said, extra service will increase tips much more than these little tricks.
The tips listed here might increase my standard tip if the service is otherwise good, but if they exist in a vacuum, forget it.
And as far as touching goes: Don’t even think about it. I don’t care if it’s just the shoulder. That is presumptuous and will lose you any tip you might have had, and quite possibly earn you a complaint to your manager. In no other line of service would it be permissible to touch a customer without their permission; just because you’re in a restaurant does not suddenly make it OK.
It’s not hard to get a good tip out of me. At this point, not spilling my drink order all over me will pretty much do it. I’ve received so much bad service lately that I’ll reward even mediocre waitstaff, just for sending me home clean.
For everyone who is complaining about not wanting to be touched, I understand your frustration but that is a growing trend being pushed onto employees by their managers and restaurant owners. When I was still finishing collage and waiting tables and bartending I had several jobs where I was told I would be fired for not having physical contact with each guest. I worked at some nice places and always argued because i don’t like people touching me and dont like touching people! They told me to at least shake hands with every guest, do you know how awkward that was for me?! Not to mention if I was left no tip for only doing what I was told I had to or risk losing my job.
When i was at school, i waited tables in a bar. A co worker, Simon, always received twice the tips I got. Now i know how it did it. He did all the things suggested (wore a loud tie, sat or squatted next to the table etc)
He ALWAYS touched on the shoulder, (which i always felt too uncomfortable to do)
i wish i knew then what i know now!
The way to get a good tip out of me — smile and be polite, keep my beverage filled and come around a few times to make sure everything is ok.
Most of this list wouldn’t be noticed — but KEEP SELLING ME? That would keep me from coming back to the restaurant.
The number one way to lose a tip? Chat with your coworkers where I can see you.
Lol, i’m exactly the same as everyone else here, no touching!! Crikey. Not something i’m enthralled to see recommended to servers.
I tip if a server is pleasant, professional but happy to joke if i’m feeling talkative. Servers that try too hard just make me uncomfortable. To be honest though, i hardly ever tip, because i’m a stingy sod. 😛
A STINGY SOD?? maybe eat at home?
ok, i am a server and if you are stingy/broke maybe you shouldn’t be eating out. tipping should be included to you in the price of eating out at all. here in america we servers make 2.13 an hour! 2.13 AN HOUR!!! tips are our only income. by the time we get our 2.13 an hour over the course of a weeks worth of work with taxes taken out it’s like 11 dollars. jeez.
If you don’t tip, you don’t have the right to care what type of service you get!!
Why don’t you tip? Do you go to work do your job and not get paid? Would you be upset if your boss, (because as a customer in a restaurant you are our boss) didnt pay you for a job well done? I think you would. I hope you reconsider your choice to not tip, it is after all our lively hood.
I’ve been hoping you’d write about this for a while. I always have difficulty resolving frugality and tipping. My wife always says I tip too much. The best way to get money out of me might be to tell me I don’t have to pay/can pay whatever I feel is appropriate.
Of course, the average percent tip where I live tends to run in the single digits. That must drive the servers crazy.
Regarding the objections to servers touching people, it’s certainly a cultural thing. In some places it’s considered friendly, in others inappropriate. But, if done properly, especially in regions where this sort of thing is more acceptable, most people won’t even take conscious note it. We are more easily and frequently manipulated than we believe.
I would like the server to write down my order. I hate when the server is yelling out ‘Hamburger-no fries’ when I’m in the middle of a conversation with my friends. If they wrote it down, they could place it in front of me and not interrupt my conversation. Tips go up when food isn’t auctioned off. I don’t even remember what I ordered sometime, so everyone sits there staring at the waiter because no one remembers what they got. Ha!
Last night I went out for restaurant week (Baltimore) and the server could see that my friend and I had a lot of catching up to do. After dinner, she didn’t try to sell us a coffee. If she had, I would have ordered one. Upsell if you can, but don’t make it obvious. You never know when someone might want a dessert or coffee and sometimes all it takes is for someone to ask.
This usually has very little to do with the server writing down the orders or not. A lot of times the food is run out by a runner, expediter or another server, and so they don’t know where the food is supposed to be going. Some restaurants use a technique where they ring in the food in the order of where people are sitting, but this does not always work, especially in large parties where they are trying to keep the bills separate. Sadly enough, many customers don’t even notice if the food was brought by their server or another, or worse, they tip less if it was not brought out by their server, which is worse considering we usually have to tip out whoever is running food that night.
Servers have a lot of guests and a lot of food to keep track of. We can usually remember who got what but not always and it’s still better to ask than to accidentally put food down in front of the wrong person.
Also, it’s incredibly rude to sit their chatting with your friends when the server is at your table, passing out food or otherwise. They are trying to do a good job by serving you and you should be coopering. It’s difficult to think of these things or that they would be important if you’ve never worked in a restaurant. Imagine you work in some sort of business firm and you have a client come in, and when you’re supposed to be sitting down discussing things with them they are playing a game on their cell phone and you can’t even figure out what they want. That’s what it is like when a server is trying to take orders, ask if anyone needs refills/anything else, pass out food, determine when they should bring the bill, etc. It is easy enough to write things down and then play fetch, but if you expect great service then it requires not only a good server, but that the guests cooperate with them.
I absolutely despise the whole squat and stare, and hate even worse when servers sit in the booth across from you. It’s just unprofessional to me. It takes a while to learn the exact timing of checking up on folks without being too clingy, and not being too inattentive. If you get it down just right you can make decent money as a server.
@anne
I’m not sure where you’re from, but here, “you guys” has long ago become sex-neutral. While I understand that you might not see it that way, I would also ask that you be understanding in that other people don’t think about it the same way as you!
I agree that I would not like to be touched, but I also would not necessarily modify their tip. If it seemed like something they do often, I would politely let them know that I would rather them not. If they continue after that point, then I would think about the tip.
For something other than inattentiveness, I would never punish the server for something they might not even realize bothers me, without first giving them a chance to correct it! But not doing your job, that’s unacceptable.
But if you are/were a server and you know these tricks, they seem fake and a little annoying. But I always tip well anyway, barring rude/bad service
Many people tip what they tip and the margin of adjustment isn’t that large.
While reading all these comments I gathered that every single person is different in what they want when being served. So how is your server supposed to know what EXACTLY you want?? If you get the drinks & food you asked for & it’s hot & prepared the way you like it WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT???? Geez you all sound like a bunch of toddlers…I want this, I don’t want that, don’t touch me, don’t tell me your name, don’t sit in the booth in front of me, don’t look at me & if you do any of these things that’s it I’m not tipping you OMG REALLY???? It sounds to me like your looking for a reason to NOT tip. Idc if my server is or isn’t friendly or is if he/she’s cute or ugly or if he/she sits down for a few seconds while taking my order (They might need that 2sec rest) or if they do or don’t touch me AS LONG AS THEY GET MY FOOD & DRINKS CORRECT & I can enjoy my meal & don’t feel I’ve been treated rudely then my server will be tipped well. I don’t mean $5 I mean well bcuz they work hard for their money & deserve to be awarded once in awhile. You never know you might be the light they needed on that day. Instead of being the 53rd asshole they have dealt with. I swear people these days are so rude & insensitive to their fellow man it’s sickening. You all should be ashamed of how childish you act towards your servers. If you knew better you would do better…
I don’t mind being touched by someone I don’t know, as long as she’s cute. What I look for in a waiter/waitress: attentiveness, accuracy, and timing. That’s how I base my tips — at least consciously. *Subconsciously* I probably favor cute young women who slightly flirt with me (which never happens when I’m out with my girlfriend).
The “I’m X and I’ll be your server tonight” is actually too friendly for me. I don’t care what name they want to use that night. I’m always tempted to reply, “I’m elisabeth and this is dan and we’d like to be left alone to eat…” because that’s what get the big tips from us — unobtrusive service. And not being rushed. We do understand that if we’re at a table for a long time we “owe” more tip, but we don’t want to be rushed through a meal…
Speaking of over friendly, I was with a friend once for lunch and the server inserted herself into our conversation, with her own opionion on the topic. That was the way weird and did not increase her tip.
Some people do like hearing the server’s name and getting an introduction and it makes it easier for them if they need anythign from the server and they don’t see them they can ask some one else for the person by name and it’s a good ice breaker for the server to get started also many restaurants use “secret Shoppers” where people come in as customers but have a sheet of questions that the restaurant sets up with the service asking if the waiter introduced themselves and other questions about procedures that the manager is looking for the server to preform and marks off can lead to losing your job. So why don’t you stop being unsociable and unfriendly and allow the person to do their job properly. If a waiter treated all of their customers the way you want to be treated they would never be able to keep their jobs. If you don’t want friendly service then order take out and stay home.
I worked in retaurants for many years as a server and cook and can tell you first hand that these techniques do work fairly well with a lot of people. I was never really a toucher though, I’m not convinced about that one but a little bit of low key flirting goes a long way. Not with everyone (heck, not with me) but with a lot of people. I just like a server that is polite and attentive. From my experience I’m usually very tuned into the service aspect of things and aware when a situation is out of my servers control (ie so busy they can’t help but miss a step, the kitchen is backed up or the food is prepared incorrectly) and won’t tip lower in those circumstances.
The one thing that annoys me to no end though is when servers try so hard to romance the food. If I order a grilled cheese sandwich I don’t need to hear “Oh excellent choice sir, our Chef starts with 2 thick slices of texas toast, a unique blend of tangy swiss and sharp cheddar cheeses, heated on our stovetop until the cheese is perfectly melted and delicious and the bread is toasted to perfection, a wonderful golden brown. Then he serves it with a generous helping of our signature fresh cut fries, our tasty house made coleslaw and a crispy, juicy pickle.”
I hated having to do that as a server and I hate now when servers do it to me. A general description of what I’m getting or an explanation of a cooking method is great but please keep the “romance” to a minimum (words like “delightful”, “unique”, “tangy”, “signature”), it just sounds like you’re reading from a script head office sent down, which is almost certainly the case.
I follow this blog regularly, and like most readers here am trying to learn to be more responsible with my money.
However, unlike most of the readers here – I am currently a server. That’s right – my way of being financially responsible is to take on a 2nd job in order to pay off my bills more quickly. I work at a upscale casual restaurant.
I have several responses to the article and comments that followed.
First, it is fine to base your tips on server performance. But please, 15% is the bare minimum – if you are not happy with your service, you should be asking to speak with a manager, not just leaving without tipping. We are human and if we receive “negative” feedback without any actual given reason, we just assume you’re cheap. If you are happy with my service, please tip 20% and tell the management. They hear negative comments more often than positive ones and a few good words in their ear can do a lot for a server – not only in performance but in esteem.
Remember, servers only make $2.13 an hour and depend on their tips to make a living. Plus, keep in mind that in most restaurants, the server is losing a large percentage of their “take” to others – in our restaurant, for example, we have to “tip out” 3% of our sales. So if you only tip 10%, in essence I only get 7%. Plus, we are encouraged to tip out the busboys (who work very hard for very little pay) at the end of the night. Between these two things, I can go home with 40-50 less than I actually “earned”.
As far as other behaviors – touching, squatting, etc – please keep in mind that the server may not know your personal preferences and they may be accustomed to being “touchy”. (I work with several of these). If you prefer not to be touched, disturbed, whatever, just let your server know in a polite way. A good server will make that adjustment.
Finally, please keep in mind that while a server is there to assist you in your meal – and a good one will manage your meal to the utmost – there are things that occur that are beyond their control. While a server is the “face” of the kitchen, they do not cook your food. So unless the food being slow is the fault of the server, please do not fault them by tipping less. Remember, they are up against cooks with an attitude problem, other servers, management, and customers. They are simply trying to manage your meal to the best of their ability. In circumstances like this, please be understanding and realize that its beyond their control.
Write down my order! It does not impress me at all when you try to memorize it, it only leaves me worried that you’ll forget something. Getting the correct order 100% of the time will get you a better tip than saving paper and getting it correct 95% of the time.
I had a server yesterday who tried to recite one of the specials like it was Drama 101 though he claimed it was “his favorite.”
Something he and the team did well was remember who ordered what. From the runners to the managers, they did not ask what we ordered, they announced what it was as they delivered it. He also asked how everything “looked” just as it was delivered instead of asking how it “tasted” before I could get two bites.
Extra napkins and squatting are appropriate if I’m running low on good napkins or you want to be more personal with me. Outside of that, these canned actions tell me I look like a messy eater and you can’t stand up.
Unless I’m dining at Hooters, don’t touch me.
I suppose I tend to tip servers more if they actually make an effort to converse with me. Doesn’t have to be about religion and politics… talk to me about food! Then again, I had the shortest and most miserable table-waiting career in the history of my state, so what do I know?
Justin, I understand what you’re saying, and when I’m at a very casual restaurant, I don’t mind the “you guys.” I use the phrase myself when referring to my kids (one of whom is female).
When in a nicer restaurant, I prefer not to be addressed as “you guys.” I should have been more clear.
I glanced at the report and want to emphasize that this is a study within the United States. In many other places I’ve traveled servers are professionals and just do a great job for a flat fee. That’s just how it is and how I prefer it. These U.S. table waiting gimmicks are just embarrassing more than anything.
Most of these will make me happier with my server. Touching me…I’m very touchy about being touched. I love to hug/touch friends, but I don’t even like to accidentally touch coworkers when handing something to them.
Otherwise, I enjoy a friendly server and though I’ll tip almost anyway, the friendly person will probably get more.
I just completed a 3 year session at Denny’s as a Server to pay off a failed business debt. I couldn’t stand the idea of trying to skip out on credit cards because of my mistakes, and I wasnt going to take away from the family funds to pay for the business credit card.
So, with two young boys at home, a full time Network Admin Day Job, and some customer service background, I applied at Denny’s for a late swing shift position. And in 18 months, I paid off the $10K of business debt… and then started working on the personal debt.
Not to toot the horn, but I typically gathered about 17% on tips, using most of the techniques described in the article, but with a few considerations:
Touching: Almost never. I felt as a server, I wasnt a “friend”, or a “buddy”, I was there to make sure that my customer did not want for anything. Touching customers happened only when the rapport was 90+% , and then only on a casual basis. e.g. A handshake goodbye, a sympathetic touch on the arm after a sob-story, or occasionally, a non-threatening touch to a shoulder to gain attention (big party scenario).
Kneeling next to the table: I always did this, for two reasons. I could balance my caddy on the edge of the table and write _more_ clearly. (A necessity for someone who has forgotten how to write longhand due to years of QWERTY usage) and from a psychological perspective, I didnt like the position of being “over” my customer, with them having to look up at me. I preferred a subtle subservient position. And I always thought it more comfortable for my guest (note the change in nomenclature) to be looking level or slightly down at me when taking their order.
Smilies: Never could stand writing smilies on the guest check. It never seemed professional enough for me. And even if it was only a serving job at Denny’s, I still upheld my belief that any job worth doing and getting paid for is worth doing to the best of your ability.
Upselling: As in all retail, upselling is part of the job. But you can upsell without making it blatantly obvious that you are _trying_ to upsell. Suggestive selling of Value Specials or New Drink Concoctions is a benefit for thifty customers, If I couch it as a savings for them, I am adding Value to their experience. Or if at the end of the meal, If I fail to suggest a dessert to top things off, I would be cheating my customer out of a complete sastifying meal. It is all in how you present it.
My customers were ALWAYS right, unless they were absolutely wrong, and no Guest in my house should ever have to ask for anything while they were enjoying their meal. So, unless I was the One Legged Man in the Butt Kicking Contest, I made sure that everything was taken care of before they asked for it.
My biggest challenge was not in the amount of the individual tables’ tips, it was in the other staff’s collective angst about the job. I continually garnered Atta-boys from my customers, but because I wasn’t there full time, would not always get _my_ level of service from my coworkers. Which in turn meant that the customers were going to throw the dice as far as their service was concerned if they came in and I wasnt working. Which meant that they weren’t coming unless they knew I was there.
Eventually, I paid down my debts, and after three years and some other extenuating circumstances, I decided to leave and focus more on computer consulting to bring in a greater $/hour return for my efforts.
Between that and GRS, I am now working towards nuking the car debt; we paid for it with Credit Card Checks(better interest rate, and I own it) and the mortgage. Unfortunately for servers that now serve me, I know the tricks, I know the sounds from behind the wall, and I know what customer service is. I start at 20% tip (it is a pretty crappy job as far as jobs go), and that percentage can go either up or down, depending on the level of customer service.
Attentiveness is the biggest factor when I determine tips. At one place that offers a “bottomless” bowl of chips as an appetizer, we ran low on chips and it didn’t get noticed by our server. I finally flagged her down and said I had found something in our chips. she looked horrified and asked what? I pointed, and said “a bottom…” She looked reliefed, the point was made, and we never ran low again that evening. Over attentiveness is just as bad as being ignored. Once I’ve got my iced tea set up the way I want, I don’t need it “topped off” every time I take 2 sips. Conversely, allow me to drain both my tea and my water glass without getting me filled back up and you’ll certainly be taking a hit in your tip. I do make allowances if it is very busy, but chatting with your co-workers while I’m dry = bad for you.
“Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check ”
I have to say that happen to me once, and it made me increase the TIP.
Interesting. My DH and I went out on Saturday for the first time in a long long time and after careful debate I told I wanted to go to Chili’s rather than the more upscale resturant we’d originally planned, even though we’d carefully budgeted a once a year “date” night. When he asked me why I told him “You know what you’re going to get”. Pathetic, I know, but I do consider all these tips to be in that category…you know they’re going to do some or all of them. None of them particularly influence me one way or another…I start with 20% and adjust according to actual service.
Yep – my glass full is my biggest measurement for sure! Tip: Place your empty glass at the edge of the table in clear view–it provides ease of site for the wait person when they are ‘surveying’ for empty glasses. If it’s “in the pile” of everything else on the table, then I can’t blame them for not knowing you’re running on E.
-Dan
@simpleserver
The amount servers make varies from state to state. In Washington they make the minimum wage which is around $7.63 plus tips.
@Dave[33]
You bring up a good point that I didn’t think about. I usually order unsweet tea and sweeten it myself. So I MUCH prefer to have a new glass brought to me instead of refilling from a pitcher. Otherwise it throws off the balance and I have to readjust it again, which is a pain.
But I may just be picky about my tea! 🙂
The list, like your photo, smack of “chain restaurant”. I agree with fauxpaw that these things are kind of servile and embarassing, but I generally prefer professionalism and dislike chain restaurants anyway. As someone who bartended and waited tables for a decade on and off, and whose husband is still a bartender, my number one tip by a landslide for increasing your tips is to work at a more expensive place. I’m entirely convinced that the vast majority of people, unlike those like me who leave long comments on the subject on blogs, just tip their regular percentage.
As an aside, the “refill my water” comments always make me laugh; they’re generally followed by people (like me!) saying “I hate it when waiters interrupt my conversation by pouring more water”. Short of mind-reading, the poor waiters really can’t win.
Nothing bothers me more than having to flag down the server to fill my glass.
And when we are in the middle of a conversation, please do not interrupt by asking ‘how is everything?’ If you are doing your job (extra napkins and filling our drinks), then we do not need anything. If something is wrong, then we will complain about it.
My sliding scale usually start at 15%. It can go as high as 25%.
Anybody catch that old episode of THIS AMERICAN LIFE where they conducted a waitress experiment? I seem to recall them drawing the conclusion that happy waitresses got smaller tips than brusque waitresses. One waitress summed her experience up like this (paraphrase): “If you look happy all the time, then the customer thinks that there’s nothing they can do for you.” Anyway, tips went up when waitresses were brusque but not rude, and remained small when waitresses recommended food or wine, when they were friendly, etc.
I think these all depend on where you are and what people you are serving. For example, I think if you started touching customers in the Seattle area, you’d either scare them away, or get socked. Likewise, squatting next to the table probably works better if the people you are serving are close to you in age. Otherwise it either seems disrespectful or condescending.
Best way to increase my tip is for my food to come quick (but not inappropriately so, like when entrees come out at the same time as appetizers), to make sure I have what I need, and to check up consistently (but not three times within three minutes and then abandon the table for twenty). And don’t ask if the food is good. If it’s not good, be assured I’ll complain about it myself. (Which I can do better if I’m checked up on consistently.) If I’m shoving it in my face, as I almost always am whenever I’m asked that question, it’s probably good.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I hate when my half-full coffee cup is refilled, because then I have to add half a sugar packet and half a cream container to get it right again. Ask first.
Don’t treat me like an idiot, I can read a menu. Be informed about my unwritten substitution options.
Also, don’t take the finished check before I leave the table. I will remember that and tip you less next time.
You will leave a smaller tip if the server takes the check before you leave?
Don’t you think that’s a little mean?
As a server I have just started taking the bill before customers leave because sometimes people do the math incorrectly (can’t be sure if this is on purpose or not) and don’t leave enough to cover the bill. If they short me, that’s money out of my pocket!
guinness416 wrote: As an aside, the “refill my water” comments always make me laugh; they’re generally followed by people (like me!) saying “I hate it when waiters interrupt my conversation by pouring more water”. Short of mind-reading, the poor waiters really can’t win.
Ah, but they can! I always ask, “Please bring me a pitcher of water when you get a chance.” If the server brings me a pitcher of water, she wins! I know that I drink a lot of the stuff, so I’m willing to give my server a hint up front about how to keep me happy. It’s surprising how few take the hint. (Even at my favorite restaurant, the servers haven’t clued in.) When I was waiting tables, if somebody asked for a pitcher of water, I’d be happy to give it to her. Saves me from having to refill glasses!
Yeah, that’s definitely fair enough. My dad’s big on the jug of water on the table too. I’m all for being up front about what you want or what’s going wrong, rather than passively fuming and leaving pennies on the table. It’s kinda surprising how often the latter happens.
I just read 37 reader’s comments and not a one mentioned hygiene. Cleanliness goes a long way with me. Practice good dental hygiene and smile. Wash your hair and keep it pulled back. Wear the nicest shoes you can feel comfortable in; we are sitting; we notice your bottom half.
Regarding touching: if you are a guy and you touch another guy, you may soon garner the nickname “nub”.
I’m so glad to see others here talking about not liking the touching thing. A BBQ joint I’m a regular at, one waitress would always pat or rub your shoulder. Free unwanted massage friends. But because one of the other waitresses has always been friendly, observant, and professional we ask for her by name when we go in.
As a general statement about service, I’d figure it’s alot like dancing. The customer is always going to lead you, one way or another. Pay attention to how customers interact w/ each other. That can give you signs of what manners to mimic. Even if the give no signs, then you know it keep it fully professional and not “friendly”
I’d like to see something that would work for people who deliver pizza or other food items.
Honestly, I just give the best tips to people who smile, are quick with service and make sure our orders are correct. I have no problem asking for more water or whatever, as long as the server is attentive to us and actually brings everything we ask for. I really don’t care if they are wearing extra “flair”, if they draw smiley faces, if they give us candy, if they squat or get into our personal space, etc. And I hate it when waiters touch me, so that’s a big no-go for me…
I wonder if any of those tricks work on me on a subconscious level.
I mean, some of them are obvious: tell me your name, smile, etc. But, don’t touch me! DON’T TOUCH ME!
Mostly, though, I just judge on good service. Is my water and/or other beverages filled up often? Is my food served promptly? Does the jackass waiter avoid hitting on my date (I actually had this happen once, and had to make a comment to him while my date was in the washroom)?
Hm…I guess I usually leave about 20%. I leave up to 50% depending on what extras I get….
When I grew up, it was 10% minimum…
BUT here is the number one thing THE RESTAURANT can do to help the server: DON’T send one server to take the order and another to deliver it. It makes either server just one more robot to deal with, one who has no interest in the customer beyond TAKE ORDER or DROP OFF ORDER.
I mostly want the waiter to get my order right. If I want something done a certain way or sides different – get it right. If you have to write it down please do. Memorization doesn’t impress me if you can’t get the order right. Usually when I see a waiter not writing the order down I know something will be wrong and it usually is.
i am a generous tipper.
i have to admit the first time i had a waiter sit down at my table. i was gob-stopped. the next time it happened, i stopped speaking, looked pointedly at the server, and told him to get up. no tip here. the squatting gets on my nerves. it feels invasive and patronizing.
keeping my drink full, bringing me napkins and anticipating needs will get you a generous tip.
I wish there was a way to evolve away from tipping.
With the internet, is it possible to get a movement going that will encourage a no tip world? I’d be happy to pay more for food, I just hate having to constantly judge people monetarily. Then there’s all this etiquette. Some people I know have a minimum dollar amount (like $2) so they will tip $2 on a $2 drink. Then there’s the awkward tipping at places where it really shouldn’t be. Like hair cuts. I tip there, and I hate it. Or maid service at hotel rooms? What about tipping doormen or bag men, or people who just help me move my bag ten feet when I’m an able bodied human being? Tip my mechanic? are you crazy? My mailman at Christmas? What about the coworker who is like our secretary? I’m pretty sure she’d be insulted.
That’s it. I’m moving abroad, as soon as I can figure out which countries have a job for me and no tipping…
I waited tables throughout college. My hourly wage then ranged from $1 to $1.50 an hour. That was 1978; it hasn’t gone up much in 30 years in our state (and it seems many ohers). So tipping is critical to making the job worthwhile. It was a tough job and in many cases I am certain that nothing I could have done would have changed the tip I received. You could usually tell who would tip you well right away. They were the pleasant, courteous types. If they were not pleasant and courteous, you could count on little or nothing–no matter what you did for service, friendliness, etc. I have never forgotten my experience waiting tables so I tend to give the benefit of the doubt to servers when things aren’t going perfectly, unless I sense an attitude from them. I don’t like cocky, arrogant, or sarcastic servers. “Flair” doesn’t impress me. Free candy doesn’t do anything for me. A thank you is nice on the check, but smiley faces are not required. I hate servers squatting and am not crazy about them sitting with us either. However, I realize some places teach their servers to do that so it’s not something I freak out over. As far as tipping, I have a very wide range of tipping. For example, breakfasts are much lower priced than say lunch, but the servers are still doing at least the same amount of work so I tip them at least as much as I’d tip for a well-served lunch. Likewise, at a bar, if we’re just getting a drink or two the bill may not be much, but if I’ve gotten great friendly service and the bartender made me a good drink, I tip very well. (I actually worked at a country club for several months where a 10% gratuity was included in the bill. I thought it would be great for me. I actually made far less than I’d made at other establishments where it was up to the individual. 10% of a $4.00 lunch is not much at all.) For dinners, I want friendly, attentive service. I don’t want gratuitous touching (pun intended), but I don’t freak out if the server is a touchy feely person … I would say that touching is very rare though. I have a gluten intolerance, which adds another dimension to my service obviously. I reward great servers very well and refer others with gluten intolerance to restaurants and servers who care about serving safe meals. My pet peeves are having food pushed on me, running out of water, being asked “how does everything taste?” (“how is everything?” suffices nicely, thank you), hearing my server whine or blame others for issues (if there are issues, just graciously apologize and take care of them) and, in general, having to work hard to get my server’s attention.
Great article. It really made me laugh to think of the things servers do to get better tips. I had always heard that Hooters girls are taught to touch the male patrons on the shoulders.
OK, my advice to any server is: be female, be cute, & be flirtatious. The smiley face is nice, and the touching is great. Basically I will tip any server who fits this criteria 30% or much more. I don’t care if she’s “playing me”, let’s face it, it’s not every day that I have a hot girl flirting with me so it is very much worth it for the experience.
Sorry, but having a guy waiter is tantamount to going for a massage and getting a guy masseuse. They’ll be lucky to get 15%. Fortunately, at least in Texas, probably 90% of servers are women, and attractive ones at that.
A few months ago, we were out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant with our child. We were seated right beside the area where they put heat the chips and put them into baskets. Our child was very interested in the process. Our server asked him if he’d like more chips. We typically limit anything like that, but we didn’t want to cause a tantrum in the restaurant after the server had asked him if he wanted some. (She should not have asked him — she should have asked us, if at all.) Anyway, at the end of the meal, she’d billed us for the extra chips! As if a toddler can make an order! So we reduced the tip by the amount of the chips and by 5%.
More recently, I’ve ordered pizza from a delivery place. The delivery guy keeps showing up without a pen — and wants to use mine. My front door is a long way from where I keep pens. I’ve discussed it with him, but he can’t be bothered to bring a pen. And so my tip keeps getting smaller. You’d think he’d realize that a 30c Bic would increase his tips. I bet other people dock his tip, too.
It’s funny, I think having my water glass always fill is the worst. I drink whatever is there subconsciously, so after a meal I’ll finish off a glass and get it refilled about 6 times before the waiter with the check comes. I’ve gotten to the point where I just put the glass up side down so that it can’t be filled. I wait for the day the waiter tries to fill the upside-down glass.
Please–no touching, no squatting. The squat is almost worse than the touching—it feels even more intimate and I know why they do it, which makes it all the more disenchanting. Mind you, I won’t knock any money off a tip because of either of these but it does serve to make things a little unpleasant. I’m not your pal, just a customer who likes my space, likes nice, efficient service and normally tips 20% so there’s no need to go overboard with me.
I can’t begin to even address all the things people have featured on here. Like Guiness pointed out, the server can’t win. One person may feel it is rude to refill water when they are talking while another person encourages it.
I’m absolutely appalled with some of the comments people left. Don’t go to a restaurant if you are going to be impossible to satisfy.
My expectations from servers vary according to the kind of restaurant I’m in; the more expensive the place, the more professional and attentive I expect the server to be. In hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants, I generally don’t expect servers to deliver a polished experience. In any case, I tend to tip in the 15-20% range.
For places where I expect at least basic, polished service, the real determining factor for me is the server’s response to requests and attitude. Servers can predict all of my dining needs and act accordingly, but if they act like they hate their job and don’t want to be there, that really drags it down. I don’t necessarily need polite chit-chat; I just don’t want to feel like I’ve invaded somebody’s space!
If servers anticipate my special dining needs (extra napkins, etc.) that’s a plus, and I don’t hold it against them if they’re overzealous about pouring water, etc. On the other hand, if they aren’t very attentive at all (often connected to their disgust for doing the job), that gets a low tip. (If the servers are inattentive because they’re very busy, I don’t hold it against them; it’s usually a management problem out of the servers’ control.)
And by the way, @Jarretthere: You’re awesome! Congratulations!
gaarrrrrlghrrrrr! Touch me and you’re apt to get bitten!!!!!
Guess I must have my fangs showing (honest, it’s only because I’m hongry!), since no server has ever dared to fondle my shoulders. Or anything else.
My friends and I were fortunate to be served lunch by a great waitress (uhm, waitperson) today. She was friendly but not pushy. Cheerful but not saccharine. She was professional in taking orders. She brought the food promptly and when the kitchen didn’t get one order out with the other three, she stood by the pass-through and grabbed the last order the instant it came up.
Two of us split the bill to cover our students. For each of us a 20% tip would have been $2.39. We each left three bucks.
I’m a notoriously generous tipper. I’ll routinely go as high as 50%, especially if I don’t order a lot.
I’ve also self-observed my own tipping habits to see what makes me tip more. It’s sad to say, I guess, and not politically correct, but the number one bit of advice I have is: be female. Cute, flirty, etc., is nice, but optional. 50 years old, fat, and obviously married is fine. For some reason I greatly prefer a female.
However, on the topic of “flirty”, I know the difference between friendly flirting and manipulation. If I want a girl to “play” me I’ll go to a strip club. This is the absolute NUMBER ONE thing a waitress can do to get the worst possible tip from me. If you act like you want to go out with me, you’d better go ahead and ask, or you’re getting nothing.
NO TOUCHING and no squatting, please.
I think research can be misleading because – as many have said – most of us don’t reduce our tips because the server is using tricks like these that we figure management probably requires them to use. I tip well because I’ve been a server, not because of any of these gimmicks. But it would look like I’m tipping well because of the gimmicks if you observed me with a server who employs them.
I eat out rarely because of the tipping scenario. I simply don’t understand why tipping (which used to be a nice 10% thank you very much) has gone up to as much as 25% in some places.
I do not feel that a person deserves up to 40 dollars an hour to bring me food and fill my water glass. I am a secretary for a college and work very hard for my measly 9.45 an hour.
Yes, the minimum wage for servers sucks. But then again, so does the minimum wage for a woman working in McDonalds (and they don’t accept tips for their service).
On the touching, don’t. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I am only there to eat, talk to my dining companions (not the server), pay and leave.
On the squatting; again, don’t. While most diners relish the experience of ‘getting to know you’, I don’t. I will probably never see you again, unless I go back to your restaurant; so why would I care about your family drama, or involve you in mine?
I personally think servers should be paid a living wage, and tipping should go away. Too many other countries are this way, why not us?
Whatever some may think of the legitimacy of tipping for food service–the fact is, that’s the way it is.
You know that going in; if it’s a problem for you, go buy, prepare, cook, and serve your own food. Don’t forget to clean up the dishes afterwards.
People take on these at-or-below minimum wage jobs with the expectation of earning decent tips; the tips combined with the minimum wage pay can often turn out to be a decent income. Many people are dependent on the tips they earn from these jobs to pay their bills.
Don’t give them grief or short them money because you don’t agree with the system–they’re doing their job, which is to make your lunch or dinner extremely convenient. Respect that.
Whether it’s the pizza delivery driver or the restaurant server, so long as they’ve provided you with accurate, timely, and friendly service, you should tip them well–if you don’t like tipping, don’t order from them.
Without tips, servers make a couple dollars an hour; without tips, pizza drivers make about minimum wage (often less) while paying for their own gas. If you want to continue to enjoy these services, remember that the services will only exist if people work these jobs and people will only work these jobs if they can make a decent wage doing it.
No one will serve you dinner or drive pizza to your house for a few dollars an hour.
I really wish that everyone who complains about the service of a server, or refuses to tip could work as a server for a day. You earn a paycheck of around $3.00 per hour, spend the whole day on your feet and act as an intermediary between the customer and the kitchen. And believe me, the war between front of house and back of house is real and servers catch so much crap from both sides.
Servers should get paid a real wage. That would solve a lot of the problems altogether. Until that time though, remember 20%. If you can’t afford that, you shouldn’t go out to eat.
A friend of mine is waiting (hoping) for the day when all restaurants will process orders via an on-table computer display. You read the menu, you select what you want, in what order, and you add notes and substitutions. No mistakes, no waiting. Waitpeople would essentially be handling drink refills and carrying plates to and fro. You could call for help on the display, similar to the call button in an airplane. The display could vary depending on the level of restaurant. Imagine an iphone-sized device at a steakhouse, something larger and bolted down at Denny’s. Text could be sized larger for people who forgot reading glasses. Etc. etc.
Though this seems clinical, parts of it sound great to me. No waiting for someone to take my order. No botched orders or food served out of order. When you’re ready to leave, you swipe a debit card and go. It may sound crazy, but I used to say “no way will people be willing to scan their own groceries!” Nowadays that’s my preferred checkout method at the grocery store.
I suggest to the commenters who realize they have a subconscious bias against certain possible characteristics of servers: Do something to address the situation.
In the personal finance world, advice abounds for people who can’t control their impulses, can’t make a budget, can’t use a credit card wisely, can’t save for a rainy day, etc. And yet we have people here admitting they don’t like “squatters”, don’t like guys, don’t like ugly people and that their tip giving is affected by that.
I’d call that “level 1 bias” because it should be immediately obvious, once you think about it, that those characteristics have nothing to do with how a waiter or waitress does their job.
Then we have “level 2 bias”, which generally stems from selfishness and requires slightly more complex reasoning. This includes things like refills not being fast enough, food coming out slowly, or the waiter doing something against your own private, unknown preferences (pouring water while you’re talking, etc). The realization needed at level 2 is that you and your waiter are only two parts of a larger system with many inter-dependencies. The waiter can’t control the kitchen. The waiter can’t ignore his other customers in favor of you. The waiter can’t satisfy everyone’s unknown desires, since every customer is different.
“Anne ominous” made an interesting point with respect to self-fulfilling prophecies. I’ve never heard that women don’t tip well, but there is a correlation between tips and race (see this study for instance). It’s an interesting problem — what if you are a member of a group that, statistically speaking, tips poorly, but you yourself do not tip poorly? How do you get fair treatment? The best answer I’ve heard was from a black person — he said he gives a 20% tip in advance. Not just “Hey this is what you COULD get” but actually giving the tip, no strings attached. I’d love to hear other suggestions as well.
cle @70 made a good point about electronic ordering. I’ve often wished for something similar myself. We used to have a chain here that’s gone out of business, but they had a similar model. Every table had a telephone handset. After deciding what you wanted, you picked up the phone and it was answered in the kitchen. Whenever something was ready for you, the phone would ring, and you’d be told to come pick up your items. It was a hamburger joint (Round the Corner, if anyone remembers it) The only employees out on the floor were the busboys and a manager who’d help you if you didn’t understand the system, so tipping was minimal – how much do you tip someone who only clears the table after you leave, right?
On another note, I hate places that add a tip to the bill. We often eat with large groups and make a point to find places that will give us seperate checks – too much hassle any other way. Invariably, the waiters get better tips if we get to choose the amounts ourselves. None of us are stingy, and we appreciate the effort it takes to accomadate a big crowd, but if the place adds 18%, that usually all you get, not a penny more.
I never said I don’t tip, or that I mind tipping. I did say that I mind tipping 25%. Waiting tables isn’t for the faint of heart, but neither is being a Certified Nurses Assistant (most of whom work 10 times as hard as a waiter, yet earn half). (I am not saying they shouldn’t be CNA’s. If it weren’t for CNA’s hospitals would cost even more than they already do.) I am saying this. The price of food has gone up, so 15% of what I pay now is actually more than 15% 30 years ago. The price of a good meal in a good restaurant has gone up much faster than cost of living where I live.
I enjoy eating out, I tip at most 15%, and I will not stop because 15% of 100 is a rip off for about 20 minutes of work (I am rarely their only table). If a person in a restaurant has more money than common sense and is willing to pay out 20%, good for them. I however plan on retiring early, and then I plan on eating out constantly.
@cle
I love the idea of monitors at tables. I plan on opening a restaurant in Brazil (where tipping isn’t allowed), this would cut problems on incorrect orders in half.
Geez, people are cold here. All the comments regarding no touching make you seem very cold and unfriendly. In many cultures, touching each other is the norm, and as one commenter mentioned, it’s a sign of bonding.
I say touch me without any qualms. Put your hand on my wrist. Whatever. It is a sign of friendliness and congeniality, and it indicates your willingness to reach out to me and get to know me.
I touch people all the time, myself, and most of my friends do the same.
Most of what I’m reading really should have little to do with the amount of tip involved. I hear a lot of really picky people, and a few that are just pretentious snobs. Even though these people are SERVERS in a SERVEice field, they are not servants. Pull the stick out a little and enjoy someone who at least tries to enjoy their job. If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you. If you don’t like “the help” to sit or squat, go somewhere else. I’ve done my share of serving, and while I tried to read people’s minds about their personal nuttiness, I also didn’t want to hate my job because some uppity customer had entitlement issues.
It’s very true that servers can’t win. People have very different expectations and they aren’t mind readers. Some people are happy as long as their requests are met in a timely fashion and others think that if they have to make a request at all then the service is poor.
My own experience gives me sympathy for them because it IS impossible to please everyone and as anyone who has waited tables knows you get some people that walk in the door looking for conflict. The wage is poor ($6.95 here I think now, it was $5.95 in my day, WOW to those of you who do it for under $3) and because of the tipout system it IS theoretically possible to work a shift and OWE the house at the end of the day, but I never actually saw that happen.
And at the same time I don’t feel all that sorry all the time. Many a shift I would hear servers complain because they only made say 12% but when you look at the larger picture – that they only worked 5 hours and that 12% of their sales was $150+.. $30/hr (PLUS your small hourly rate mind you) hardly seems like anything to complain about for running food, especially considering that the vast majority of servers (around here anyways) don’t report their tips so $30/hr = $30/hr. That was always my attitude anyways, if I made $20+/hr in tips I was happy as a clam regardless of the percentage, that just seemed like fair pay for the work to me and anything else was gravy.
The tipping system is certainly flawed, for instance if I go into a restaurant and order a hamburger and pop vs a steak and pint of beer, the server does the same amount of work for either choice but feels they deserve a greater tip on the steak. Why? Because that’s the way it works.
King of Debt says:”Servers should get paid a real wage. That would solve a lot of the problems altogether. Until that time though, remember 20%. If you can’t afford that, you shouldn’t go out to eat.”
So, is it really all or nothing–leave 20% tip, or don’t dine out? That kind of ultimatum could wind up resulting in many unemployed servers. I believe that 15% (pre-tax) ought to be fine for most servers; 20% or more for truly great service.
I suppose one could turn the logic around a bit: If you’re not willing to work for a mere 15-18% tip, then get another job, and let the industry respond–if it desires–by raising wages in order to compete properly for workers. After all, minimum wage is just that–minimum. Restaurants can pay more if they can and desire.
Wil Said:
If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you. If you don’t like “the help” to sit or squat, go somewhere else. I’ve done my share of serving, and while I tried to read people’s minds about their personal nuttiness, I also didn’t want to hate my job because some uppity customer had entitlement issues.
my “not wanting to be touched by a total stranger” is not an entitlement issue. it’s a boundary issue.
Great googly moogly, I’m glad y’all weren’t in my restaurant when I was waiting tables. It seems like a lot of folks have a luandry list of what a server should and shouldn’t do, and half of them contradict the other half, while most of them flat-out ignore what the rules at the restaurant might be.
For those who complain about the upselling, or the formulaic approach many servers have (including the fact that “Hi I’m X and I’ll be your server” was too friendly for one commenter)…have you ever heard of “secret shoppers?” If you screw up with one of them, you can get *fired* and yes, they have a restaurant-specific checklist to know what you’re supposed to be doing and what you’re not.
I’ve seen servers fired over bad shops, and most of us lived in terror of them.
That being said, honestly, I think being deployed was easier than schlepping trays.
Wil at #75:
If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you.
Bluntly: No. My level of comfort is not up to a waiter’s desire for a tip to determine. I don’t have to suck it up, and they — and you — should know better.
@AHT:
What I’m saying is that the server has no way to know about your hang-ups. Many people don’t mind, or actually prefer the human aspect of a friendly touch. Personally, I prefer not to be touched, but that’s MY thing. Twenty other people that come in before or after me may appreciate the gesture, and to suggest that a server should either A: know who wants what and who doesnt and act appropriately, or B: adjust their behavior to match YOUR comfort level and deprive those who are in one of the other categories is asking a bit much. To give less of a tip (and give the impression that there was something lacking in the service provided when all other things are equal) than you ordinarily would strikes me as a little petty.
Wil @ 81:
As a female in a large, overcrowded city, I am fiercely protective of my personal space, and I don’t think it’s petty to consider the respect of that an essential part of good service. You are, of course, free to disagree.
@AHT:
I agree and think you SHOULD be fiercely protective of your personal space. I think we are separating what is good and right, (protecting your personal space) from the “petty” (basing someone’s compensation on not anticipating YOUR feelings on this). Once again, I prefer not to be touched, but I can’t justify deducting from someone’s income for not knowing that ahead of time. I usually just cringe a little inside, and spend a few minutes scrubbing down, (I REALLY have issues with being touched– see “As Good as It Gets”)
Wow. I can’t believe they recommend touching someone. I’m not at all touch-averse with people I know, but if some server came up and started touching me as part of their spiel, I’d be upset and creeped out. I’m not in a restaurant for them to touch me, I’m in a restaurant for them to serve me food — and these are two mutually exclusive things. Paying someone to touch you is often illegal…
I don’t even know where to start. For the people who have never worked in a restaurant, you have absolutly no idea what goes on and how much effort it takes to even halfway smile at most customers. There are so many different dynamics happening, but you would never know that because the server is doing their job by not telling you what is happening. You don’t care, just like the server doesn’t care what is going on with your job, so stop telling them, it goes both ways. It could be anything from fighting with the kitchen, not having a busser, the bartenders aren’t making your drinks, out of a lot of menu items, your boss is sexually harrassing you, the host is favoring one server over another, and let’s not forget all the customers barking orders at you like you are their personal slave and it goes on and on. I could tell you stories for hours and hours of all the crap that has happened to me over the years. But servers HAVE to listen to all your crap and people take so much out on the people who serve them because they know the servers can’t say or do anything about it and hold their tip ransom.
How about we have some perfect strangers go to your job and critique every move you make and tell you how much you suck, day in and day out. And then, go to your boss and complain about everything that you did or didn’t do, even if it was beyond your control and then decide how much your paycheck was. That is exactly how it goes for servers. So maybe next time stop thinking about yourself and have a little compassion and maybe your server wouldn’t give you attitude. Did you ever stop to think about when a server first starts in the business they are super nice and then just get walked all over and constantly people are mean, drunk, stupid, crazy, unreasonable, cheap, disrespectful and overall unpleasant. After a while it takes a toll and starts to affect your attitude. In my experience people will respond in the same way as how they are treated.
I always tried to feel people out to see what “style” of service they would prefer, but you just can’t please everyone. And after a while you just stop trying.
Ok, as for the touching, I can guarantee you the server gets touched and groped far more than they would ever even think about touching a guest! And perhaps if you are so worried about germs, you should think about how may people touch the food you are putting in your mouth and the plates and glasses you are using. Far more to worry about there. I really don’t think that happens all that much except in places like the guys who say they tip attractive servers more, go. And speaking of that, again I will use the example of going to your work place and judging you. We will have a bunch of grody strangers come in and sit and stare at you and think perverted thoughts while you are trying to do your job and decide if you are good looking enough and if you flirted enough to make more money. No matter how you did your job. Doesn’t seem very fair now, does it? And we all know you are not a looker if the only flirting you are getting is with a server, so I suspect you wouldn’t be bringing home much money if that was how it worked. Maybe you could think about that next time your server maybe has a fatter ass than you would like so you tip less.
And now for the selfish person who will only go to places that will give seperate checks to large parties. Do you want your food to all come out at the same time? Do you want it there in a timely manner? Would you like your server to be attentive and refill your iced tea at every turn? Well it’s not gonna happen if your server has to enter 20 seperate orders. Do you know how long that would take to enter in the computer(and just think if they don’t have a computer and are doing it by hand)? You have to create a new check for every person and then try to keep track of them all and keep adding things to this persons check and that persons check, it is a complete nightmare. And then for the kitchen to get all these seperate orders, how are they supposed to make them all come out at once, plus the tons of other tables orders? It is hard enough to do it all on one check. Most large parties do not tip well. That is why most places add the tip. Some people leave early some people don’t cough up enough for their share and the server gets screwed in the end.Come on, stop and think about it. Why would most(almost ALL)places add the tip? The server has to tip out a percentage of their sales to the busser, bartender, cook, and host. Not to mention the taxes. So if the server gets screwed on a big table and most large parties rack up big bills, they still have to tip everyone out on the sales amount. So basically, they are paying for you to eat there(and you wonder why they have an attitude).So if you could think about other people for a minute you could understand the logic behind it. They are not adding the tip to screw you, they are doing it to make sure they get paid for the service they provide you. And believe me, large parties are the biggest pains in the asses! So you should be extra nice to the poor souls who get stuck waiting on you and all your math challenged buddies who can’t seem to add up what they owe and tip on that amount. I know, it’s very hard, huh?
I am not writing all this to be a cry baby, I am writing to tell a lot of you some things that go on that perhaps you are not aware of and to stop being so petty. Is it really that serious if a server wants to bend down to take your order? Personally my feet and legs hurt and it’s hard to hear in a lot of places, that’s why I bend down to take orders. Not to be any closer to the guest and “bond” and certanly not to be rude. There is always a reason why people do what they do. Sometimes it’s calculated and sometimes it’s just cuz your feet hurt. So maybe you should give your servers the benefit of the doubt. And then if that doesn’t work, maybe you should go work in a restaurant for a week and then come talk to me.
Thank goodness for the few nice people who are generous and make up for all the cheap people. I have also met a lot of friends working in restaurants. So it boils down to if you are generally a nice and decent person you will generally get nice and decent service. I suspect that if you keep getting poor service, maybe you should check yourself.
Well said!!!!!!
@This is why you get bad service
So how do you suggest splitting the bill amongst a group of people with no cash? Almost everyone uses debit/credit. Oh that’s right you want us to use cash so it’s off the books.
Tell your server how much you want to put on each card. It’s that simple. And nothing is off the books anymore. Everything is in a computer. It is 2008.
Wear something unusual – Don’t care about that at ALL.
Introduce yourself by name – Don’t care about the server’s name, which I know it’s required, but it does waste time when all you want to do is ORDER.
Squat next to the table – Think this makes the server look too friendly as if they know you, especially if they sit at your table like they are dining with you(had this happen a few times at Outback)I don’t mind, but isn’t necessary in my opinion. If they can HEAR my order better by being closer to me, then I am all for this one.
Repeat customers’ orders – 100% FOR THIS ONE, because things get not heard right or mixed up.
Smile at customers- Who wants to see a sad face? Of course smiling helps diners be in a better mood.
Sell, sell, sell-ONLY if it’s done BEFORE I order. I absolutely can’t stand when servers try to change your mind AFTER you have told them already you wanted a certain thing as if you would change your mind. MOST customers KNOW what they want when they order, so trying to change it after they have placed their order is a waste of TIME for EVERYONE involved as well as it pisses customers off. Also, if servers ask if you want a dessert, don’t try to convince them if they say NO, because NO means NO!
Touch customers-NEVER is it ok to touch someone. MOST people aren’t comfortable for a STRANGER to touch them.
Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check-Wastes VALUABLE TIME that the server could be checking for overcharges or serving someone else or getting the check faster to the customers so they can LEAVE FASTER. It could NEVER SWAY me to tip higher. All they are doing that is to increase their tip, so that’s SELF-SERVING to do that. It’s not like it is to be nice or something, because being nice is getting the check with NO overcharges and thinking about customer’s TIME. Doodling is PLAYING on the job, when a server’s job is to SERVE, NOT draw pictures and write personal notes as if we know the person. I am with elisabeth said that she wanted to be left alone. Servers are STRANGERS and we DO NOT CARE about personal stuff about the servers. Sure, I do have SOME servers I have gotten to know personally, but that is because they are GOOD servers, so if they care about me, I care about them. I do like for service to not be with the server most of the time though. Writing personal notes really has NOTHING at ALL to do with the sevice. If I got a wrong side dish, WHO GIVES A CARE if the server WRITES “Thank You” and signs their name? I care about taking points off of the tip for them not VERIFYING the order in the kitchen and WASTES TIME MAKING UNNECESSARY TRIPS, NOT if they WROTE THAT. I care about my SERVICE, NOT personal notes. I cannot believe moneymonk said he or she had it done once and that he or she acutually took the bait to tip higher. Moneymonk must not eat out a lot, because A LOT of servers write this, which is so unnecessary. It’s a WASTE OF TIME. One time I had $3 overcharge due to an extra item on the check from a waitress that wrote “thanks so much” and signed her name. Then she had the GALL to WASTE MORE OF MY TIME writing it again on the revised bill. A server should have COMMON SENSE that writing that after an overcharge is NOT going to help ANYTHING and it actually made me wait LONGER to leave. That just really shows how she was SO INTO ONLY HERSELF. Worrying about her tip points instead of the customer’s money.
Give customers candy- That’s just the restaurant’s candy, so WHO CARES? It’s not like the server actually buys that candy themselves to give away. Usually it’s mints with the restaurant’s name on the wrappers. This could NEVER, EVER, SWAY me to tip more, because it has NOTHING to do with service.
ha thanx this is why you get bad service for comenting your view, I would just like to add to everyone else. i wont ever touch you so keep your hands off me. Oh and you act like i want to hear about your whole life i have other tables to get to and your steady talking my ear off by the time i get done with you i have a food to run, an order to take, a check to add up, soups that need to be brought out, refills that need to be refilled, side work that needs to be takencare of and you want me to sit there listen to you and mess up my tips i could be workin on but no and when you leave you leave a no good tip just enough for me to get lunch that we pay 50%on. A nother thing dont bring your kids to a resturaunt if they have no manners im pretty sure ma and pops dont want to hear a tatrum while they are splitting a sandwich. And that newborn baby you have crying while you are shoveling food in your mouth when you should be sticking a bottle in theirs. MAN what is this world comming to. Oh and you nasty perverts who sit at the counter and stare at our behinds while drinking coffee for hours on end dont you have nething better to do. By the way we give you menus so that you can read them not so that you can ask us for every little detail, maby thats why you get an over explained grl chz. JEEZ . Dont be lazy pick up the menu for your own sake. Yes i am your server no im not your slave so if you drop something why am i the one to pick it up, if my book fell would you pick up my checks with smilie faces and thank yous writtin on it I dont think so. I say my name for the simple fact your gonna be calling out miss miss miss and think about how many female servers there are, what now you want my whole staff serving you i dont think so. For the cheep people who order lemons with their water and ask for equal JUST ORDER LEMONADE, and yes you may have a straw. For the people that drink pop like it isnt nothin what you think you can drink ten pops with out being charged after the third one. The drunks that come in after two show me better respect than the dinner crowd why who knows but they are good tippers bigger tippers than any other omlette eater. so next time you wanna eat out and wanna be cheep why dont you pull through mcdonalds and order off the dollar menu bring it home and serve it to your family see if they leave you a tip. Yes i like when a table says we are in a hurry but what makes them think that they should be served faster than the table who sat down before them. man oh man oh man lets get it right next time you want to dine out maby we would want you to come back if you wernt so cheep, thats what we dont want in the restuaunt. So stop trying to make me give food to you for free i think i have said enough have a nice day and your always welcome to come back. Now let me see if my tables need water. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa but
oh yeah i forgot to say to the people who get up and move from where your sat sit where youare seated, you mess up rotation and yes we know you want a booth but you dont have to go to each one to see if you fit your gonna end up with a table ne ways so stay seated. Goof balls if i can think of ne thing else you will be sure to read im going to smoke
I work at a country style diner in Vermont, we specialized in our REAL maple syrup and homemade breads ect. We have a lot of regulars (and I try my hardest to know excatly what that want) and we relay mostly our our tourism. I work alone for the first 4 hours of the day manning 16 tables and a counter. When we fill up, I kindly say “I will be right with you” That goes a long way as they know you are not ingorning them. To take a couple of mins and keep coffe cups filled, that goes a long way also. Sometimes I will touch a customer if they are friendy, joking etc. but only on the shoulder. I very rarely make less than 20% of my sales in tips. I always write Thank you! along with my name on the back of check. Here in Vermont we make only $3.75 plus tips. Keep that smile on your face, interact (be interested, even if you are not in what that have to say) the customer is right 95% of the time…I will take the blame if it is my fault and they respect your honesty for not blaming the cooks Customers DO NOT care if you are having a bad day…they are out to eat to make thier day better, relax, enjoy thier food, thier service and experience. I never kneel at a table, yes mid age but hurts legs lol. Always tell them to have a wonderful day, weekend etc. If it is a nice day tell them to enjoy the weather or drive safe in bad weather. They then know you care. I never say “you guys” I tend to ask if everyone is enjoying thier meal. Always suggest dessert. You will be suprised how many come in and ask your YOUR service. Unfortunately some people from the old school come in with tip charts and if the check is 15.00 you get 1.50 period. Sorry for writing so much! Just basic stuff but works for me.
I just want to comment on how incredibly, astoundingly callous the comments are here. People would never say things like this in person!
I want to especially single out two people.
Firstly: AHT at 80, 82, etc. Wil is right. You are being petty. Perhaps it is the big city that has made you so icy. A little time in the country, where people can show you that it is okay to let your guard down, would do you a world of good. When you meet someone for the first time, when you make a business deal, you shake their hand, yes? Why is it any different in a restaurant? I may certainly be wrong, but I believe that you think of a server touching you as an attack because you don’t see them as an equal. They are (in your eyes) people who are not as good as you are because (in your mind) they are not as successful as you are. They are unclean. How dare they touch you! Honestly, loosen up. Say you were at a friend’s wedding, and a very fine gentleman, a stranger, who you were attracted to, tapped you on the shoulder and asked you to dance. I KNOW you would take his hand and dance with him. Don’t be so contradictive, and don’t bash poor people like Wil for trying to help you see the light.
Secondly: Springs 1 at 88. I really don’t think you should dine out anymore. At least until you can resolve your issues. I followed your thread to your profile and looked at how many blogs you wrote about this subjest. I must say Miss, you do have a LOT to say. You are extremely judmental. Of everything. You rant about EVERYTHING, from the moment the server greets you to the time you walk your impossible self out the door. Tell me truly, do you enjoy going out? It seems to me that the whole ordeal is so miserable for you. Wouldn’t it be better just to stay home, where the only person you can unnecessarily berate is yourself? Why are you so critical? Everything doesn’t need to be perfect. I can assure you that it never will be. Servers are not machines, they are people. They will never be perfect. I laugh when I think of how imperfect a server you would be! Also, about the “extra time wasted” when a server writes thank you on your check – I know you think servers are (direct quote) “STUPID”, but we are not so mentally deficient that it would take us an obscene amount of time to thank you for your patronage. Two seconds at most? It took a lot more time for you to fume about it.
Take heart ladies! I’m not attacking. I’m trying to help you be happier people. Instead of looking at what is wrong, focus on what is right. If you can’t seem to find anything right, then you need to look inward like “This is why you get bad service” says at 85. I bet that all of this anger stems into other areas of your life as well. I bet you sit in traffic and curse at drivers, instead of being appreciative for having a car. I bet you are the type of people who just stare in hatred when someone is in your way in the grocery aisle, instead of just smiling and saying, “Excuse me.” It’s not your fault you are like this. Something, or several things, happened to you to make you so bitter.
Just apply The Golden Rule, not only in action – but in thought as well. Think of others as you would like to be thought of. Take it easy! Smile! Instead of complaining about your dining experience, be thankful you can afford the food you are eating, and that you have a loved one to eat it with. That is all 🙂
Tammy Lou 🙂
“Tell me truly, do you enjoy going out?”
I do enjoy the FOOD/DRINKS, but NOT ALWAYS the service. So the answer to your question is YES, I VERY MUCH enjoy going out to eat. I just HATE lazy and uncaring servers.
“It seems to me that the whole ordeal is so miserable for you.”
It’s only miserable when servers mess up. For example, during the TIME that I wait to get an overcharged fixed or during a time that I had to wait 4 minutes for my ranch or during the time we have to wait to get the correct entree when we were brought the entirely wrong one. THAT is when it’s miserable. Thankfully, it’s not like that all the time.
“Why are you so critical?”
WHY NOT? The CUSTOMER IS PAYING, that’s RIGHT, PAYING with THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY for some DECENT, GOOD service, so isn’t it the customer’s RIGHT to make sure their money is going where it needs to be and doesn’t go where it shouldn’t be? WHY would I pay you well if you don’t ****CARE***** about my service that you never once TRIED. I had a waitress that told me “I don’t add it up” when an item on me and my husband’s check was $1.50 more than the menu price. The item was $21.99 and my husband added crawfish which was $4.99. Estimate IN YOUR HEAD even, you come up with $27 and take away 2 cents, $26.98. Our check had on it(which it was only the 2 of us), $28.48. I had asked why she didn’t check our check over and she said “I do”, but then she said “I don’t add it up”, which told us she NEVER ONCE TOOK ANY, NOT ANY, NOT ANY ********EFFORT************* to finding that error that WE had to find by doing HER JOB FOR HER and she never once asked the manager to comp a coke at least off the bill nor did she give us any money out of her own pocket. She was ONLY THINKING OF HER OWN MONEY, but HECK with the customer’s money, RIGHT? What makes me mad the most is that she NEVER ONCE TRIED. You don’t care, WHY the heck should I? In order for the customer to care about the server’s tip money, they have to care about the customer’s money. WE had to grab a menu and match each price to our check. Now WHY should we have to do that? I understand we would do that for a REAL MISTAKE, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is it “ACCEPTABLE” service NOT TO TRY YOUR VERY BEST, then EXPECT a good tip from it. We tipped her like around 4% or so. You expect to get paid, TRY YOUR BEST and CARE, actually CARE about your customer’s dining experience. If you don’t try, it’s not a real mistake, it’s LAZINESS and being non-caring. Any caring server would have gave us a coke for free even if she or he had to pay for it themselves. Dealing with the check is just as important as the food.
Thankfully, it’s not too often we get overcharged, but it has been over 25 times since 2001.
As far as being miserable goes, I don’t like it when you order condiments, then when the SAME server brings out the food that took the order, they don’t verify anything on the plate. Then you just simply nicely repeat your order, which most of the time no apology as if it’s not important. I also hate when another server runs the food to you and it’s not obviously right when the order was put in correctly by the original server that took the order. I hate other servers that don’t verify the plates and just hand out anything to the customer. They have a ticket for a reason and it’s NOT just for the cooks. It’s so the customer gets the correct entree, correct side dish, nothing obviously missing like containers of condiments, or just anything that the server doesn’t have to touch the food to notice a mistake.
I hate when servers don’t write the order down and you have to ASK them, then refuse, then get it wrong.
I hate when servers don’t apologize for their mistakes and even blame it on someone else.
Those are some of the things that get on my nerves.
WHY would you want to be critical if it’s YOUR MONEY and YOUR EXPERIENCE you are dealing with?
Also, if you know if that were YOU, you would do things differently. An example: My husband ordered 2 side dishes instead of just one. At that restaurant, the side dishes were separate from the sandwiches/burgers. Our waitress(not anyone else) brought our food out. She even brought my condiments ahead of time as requested, so there wasn’t any of that to verify even when she brought the food out. She forgets the baked potato. My husband was VERY NICE and just simply told her he ordered a baked potato. Instead of immediately APOLOGIZING as ***I***** would have being I am a NICE, CONSIDERATE, and CARING human being, of course she didn’t. She took the ticket and looked at it that she had on the tray as IF that would do any good and as IF that had ANYTHING to do with my husband didn’t have his baked potato at the time it was supposed to arrive. Anyway, eventually she comes back, NO APOLOGY. I couldn’t believe it that she had no clue that she was at fault for FORGETTING, that’s right, FORGETTING to BRING out the baked potato from the kitchen to our table. THAT is HER FAULT whether or not she put in the order correct. An APOLOGY should have been given. I would have not only apologized at first, but even after I would have corrected my mistake, because I am a NICE PERSON, she wasn’t. I also would have tried to ask the manager if he or she could comp a coke off for the mistake. If the manager wouldn’t have, I personally would have paid for a coke myself so I could get a decent tip and to PROVE that I was truly sorry.
Now do you understand WHY I am so critical? I see what they SHOULD or COULD have done, but they didn’t CARE or didn’t TRY THEIR BEST to get things done right.
Maybe sometimes some servers do try their best, but just make a mistake. Those servers normally have a heart to APOLOGIZE. Apologies will get MUCH BETTER TIPS, especially apologies for stuff that isn’t even the server’s fault, I think that’s very polite such as cold food(unless the server forgets about my order, which 99% of the time, it’s the kitchen staff’s fault for cold food). When servers apologize, it makes me not as mad than if they act like they could care less.
WHY not be critical? Do you really want your food/drinks/time/check to be wrong or wouldn’t you rather have them ALL RIGHT the VERY FIRST TIME AROUND? BE HONEST NOW!!!
“Everything doesn’t need to be perfect.”
YES it does when the customer is PAYING the server, IT SURE DOES!! I am not paying you to be lazy and not care about what you are BRINGING to my table. TIPS ARE EARNED, NOT A RIGHT!!!
“They will never be perfect.”
I have had MANY of times where I had “PERFECT SERVICE” where NOTHING at all, NOT ONE THING went wrong. There have been plenty of times where maybe one tiny thing went wrong, but it was still pretty perfect in my mind.
Service can ALWAYS be perfect. Do you honestly think every server messes up something with EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY PARTY? OF COURSE NOT, that’s why it’s PERFECT at times.
“I laugh when I think of how imperfect a server you would be!”
WHY would you think I would be “IMPERFECT”, because I would be much better than someone as UNCARING and LAZY as you? Everyone makes mistakes, so I wouldn’t always be perfect, but I’d try my VERY BEST unlike A LOT of servers out there that don’t give a care.
“but we are not so mentally deficient that it would take us an obscene amount of time to thank you for your patronage. Two seconds at most?”
That 2 seconds you are taking away from the customers that want to leave and don’t care about that crap. Do you honestly think if someone has bad service they will CARE one bit about you writing “thank you?”
Also, it’s not thanking me for my patronage, it’s a TIP BOOSTER, plain and simple.
http://hellosmarty.com/how-make-bigger-tips
“10. Write “Thank You” on Checks
Write “Thank You” and sign your name on the check. The customer will appreciate this gratitude and think you are friendly. As mentioned earlier friendliness increases tips. The customer may also feel inclined to return this gratitude and leave a bigger tip. Any expressions of gratitude are likely to increase tip size by as much as 15%.”
“11. Draw A Picture On Checks
Draw a smiley face on the back of checks to have three effects. First, this personalizes you and creates empathy. Second, the smile indicates friendliness and a show of gratitude (see tips 5 and 10). Third, this might also make the customer smile and put them in more of a tipping mood. Another option is to draw a sun (see tip 9). This can increase tips by 20%”
It’s all about thinking just about the server’s money. It’s not about thanking the customer for their patronage. If it was, the servers would think about the customer’s TIME that they would be CONSIDERATE instead of INCONSIDERATE of the customer’s time.
The faster the customer is gone, the faster you get more customers to make more tips, so I personally would rather get more customers than to waste time playing around writing crap that NO ONE cares about.
Hi Springs 1!
Thanks for answering my questions. This is becoming very interesting! Lol! Okay, I am determined to fix things here.
Why do you write all in caps? Do you know that in the blogging world this means that you are yelling at me? Did I make you lose your cool? Sorry about that. I mean well.
Also, you don’t ***need*** to do ***this***. I can add the proper inflections and intonations without your help. When you do that, I understand that you are just highlighting the word that you want to emphasize in order to make sure I get your point. I see this. However, it is very rude. I thought you would like to know about these writing habits, because you don’t seem like the type that wants to be nasty or offend people on purpose.
Okay, now we can get down to business.
“I do enjoy the FOOD/DRINKS, but NOT ALWAYS the service. So the answer to your question is YES, I VERY MUCH enjoy going out to eat. I just HATE lazy and uncaring servers.”
Okay, so you enjoy the convenience and atmosphere that dining out affords, but you feel slighted at times by servers because you think that they don’t care about you.
I have to be honest. The majority don’t. The majority of people on this Earth are very selfish. That is why so many on this blog said, “I don’t care about my server’s life, I care about my food!” Well, if you don’t care about them, then it makes it really hard for them to pretend to care about you. Notice I say pretend. A good server is a good actor.
“Instead of immediately APOLOGIZING as ***I***** would have being I am a NICE, CONSIDERATE, and CARING human being, of course she didn’t. She took the ticket and looked at it that she had on the tray as IF that would do any good and as IF that had ANYTHING to do with my husband didn’t have his baked potato at the time it was supposed to arrive. Anyway, eventually she comes back, NO APOLOGY.”
This girl is a rookie. When she realized her mistake, she should have immediately apologized, then told you she would go to the kitchen to ring it in at once. If she was really on the ball, she could have asked if your hubby wanted a cup of soup, salad, anything while the new potato baked in the oven. She could have asked about anything else she could bring. When she brought the potato, she should have apologized again. I agree with you here. If a server makes a mistake, then they need to own up to it. This girl froze because she was embarrassed, or she didn’t know the proper procedure in this case, or she just got double sat when she found out about the mixup. She’s a rookie, cut her some slack.
I also agree with you about checking food before it goes out of the kitchen. But again, I’m going to be honest with you: shit happens. If you order a book at Barnes and Noble and it doesn’t come in the day it was supposed to, do you make a fuss there? Probably not. It’s the mail. It happens. So what? So if something happens in a restaurant do the same thing! Relax and just be happy that you are having food.
“The CUSTOMER IS PAYING, that’s RIGHT, PAYING with THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY for some DECENT, GOOD service, so isn’t it the customer’s RIGHT to make sure their money is going where it needs to be and doesn’t go where it shouldn’t be? WHY would I pay you well if you don’t ****CARE***** about my service that you never once TRIED.”
I understand. If you are paying for something, you should like what you are getting. Why shell out money for something you don’t like. Would you buy a sweater you thought was hideous? Of course not. I agree with you.
“…under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is it “ACCEPTABLE” service NOT TO TRY YOUR VERY BEST, then EXPECT a good tip from it. We tipped her like around 4% or so.
This is unacceptable. If you didn’t like your service, then let your server know! I never understand why people like you don’t do this! Are you afraid of the confrontation? Don’t want to make a scene? The next time a server upsets you, I want you to tell her right then and there (in a nice way of course). Stand up for yourself! And don’t keep your server in the dark. Let her know what she is doing wrong. Give her a chance to modify her ways so that she can be better at her job. If you leave a crappy tip, of course she knows something went wrong somewhere. But admist all of the hustle and bustle of a busy night shift she won’t remember you at the end of the evening, which is anywhere from four to ten hours after she served you. Also, if you are upset with service, tell the manager. Only managers can help you with your check. If they won’t, then that is poor management. If it is privately owed, don’t dine there again. If it is a chain, go to corporate and tell them about the management’s refusal to recognize your poor dining experience. But don’t take it out on the server. They literally cannot afford it. When you leave a 4% tip, it hurts. It’s mean. That poor girl probably didn’t even know what she did wrong. Instead of thinking you were a nice lady who was trying to tell her she messed up, she most likely thought you were a cheap, nasty bitch. Sorry, but I’m being honest again. I know you are really not. 🙂 You have to stand up and tell people when you don’t like something. To their face, not just on the internet. Don’t be chicken.
“WHY not be critical? Do you really want your food/drinks/time/check to be wrong or wouldn’t you rather have them ALL RIGHT the VERY FIRST TIME AROUND? BE HONEST NOW!!!”
Ah, Springs 1, I hate when you yell at me. Honestly? Food can be recooked, drinks can be repoured, checks can be rerung. Time with loved ones, however, cannot be replenished. I honestly don’t care if my server messes up, because the best part of going out for me is spending time with whoever I am out with. The server means well. They don’t want to do a poor job. They are not stupid. They know they need to be quick and efficient, and kiss your ass even though you despise them. Sometimes, like I said, shit happens. Don’t ruin your evening over spilt milk! Sure, I get it, you are paying fo the milk. But really, does it matter in the long run? When you die, are you going to say, “Damn it! I wish those servers wern’t so lazy! If they weren’t lazy then everything would have been perfect and they wouldn’t have had to make an extra baked potato! Whaaaa!” Or, are you going to say, “Damn it. I wish I didn’t care so much about crap that didn’t matter. I wish I had really enjoyed my time with my loved ones. I wish I would have been satisfied, instead of always complaining about little imperfections that don’t matter now.”
I am only 21. I have lost both my mother and my father to cancer. I would give anything to have dinner with them. I don’t care if the server made mistakes. Mistakes can be fixed. And even if the server made those mistakes, I would pay them 20% minimum, not because I am server – but because I don’t know if they are trying to (like me) make it through school to become a teacher to teach your children, or maybe they had a kid, or were responsible for their ailing grandmother’s medical bills. Whatever. The point is, the tips are all a server has. Don’t be inhuman.
“Service can ALWAYS be perfect. Do you honestly think every server messes up something with EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY PARTY? OF COURSE NOT, that’s why it’s PERFECT at times.”
Point taken. I need to rephrase here. Thank you. It would, logically, be impossible for a perfect service to never occur. You are right…and wrong. Notice you start by saying that “service can ALWAYS be perfect”, but then finish up with “that’s why it is PERFECT at times.” Which is it? I say now at times. Just like I was illogically thinking that it could never be perfect, so are you for saying that it could always be. Whew, glad we worked that one out!
“WHY would you think I would be “IMPERFECT”, because I would be much better than someone as UNCARING and LAZY as you? Everyone makes mistakes, so I wouldn’t always be perfect, but I’d try my VERY BEST unlike A LOT of servers out there that don’t give a care.”
I didn’t mean to offend you. But really, you would be a horrible server. Here, look:
“The faster the customer is gone, the faster you get more customers to make more tips, so I personally would rather get more customers than to waste time playing around writing crap that NO ONE cares about.”
You bash servers for caring more about their money than yours, but yet your first concern as a server is about…ding ding! Your money! Hahaha! Told you I would laugh! Here’s why this doesn’t work. People don’t like to be rushed. There is a reason why it is called “dining”, not “scarfing”. Lol! But how would a rookie like you know? See? Now, how would you feel? Ah, now you know how that girl felt. You obviously thought you gave excellent service. Yet the tip reads 4%. First of all, how are you going to afford hot water this month on 4%? Secondly, no one told you what you did wrong! This is why I told you to always tell your server what is up. If something is wrong, go to the manager if you don’t want to pay as much. Yay! Oh yes, and I am caring. I both write and say thank you when I drop off a check because I do care abvout you. It’s not a tip booster. You could have picked any other restaurant in town. But you chose mine. You gave me the opportunity to give you excellent service, and in return hopefully I made your night more fun. I like taking care of people. I like lighting up faces. Why do you think I want to teach? I am thanking you for choosing this restaurant out of many for allowing me to do what I am good at. Don’t look at people like they are out to get you, silly! “She’s only writing thank you so I will give a better tip! She’s trying to make up for messing up earlier! Well, I’m still going to tip her badly! I have the power!” Do you see how this makes you sound? Please just see things in a lighter way. Maybe your server wrote thank you because she actually is a nice person and has good manners and wants to employ them! Oh-ho! What an idea! Lol! One more thing, I am not lazy. It just wasn’t the way I was brought up. My mother went used to go around my room after I dusted it and checked with a white cloth – when I was four! It has been ingrained in me from birth not to be lazy. If I accidently bring out the wrong food it’s not because I say, “Yeah, I should check the check and make sure everything matches, but that takes too much energy, and I don’t care about my table enough anyways to do it. Who cares?” Do you actually think people think this way? Okay, I’m gonna repeat: shit happens! I always check, but some restaurants have what are called “expediters”. If a place is real busy, the expediter will stay on the line to arrange plates on trays so that a server can deliver food faster. Sometimes that person messes up. Why? Who knows? I’m not them. But I am the server. And it was not my fault. But it is my responsibility to correct the problem. I will apologize to the table, and get the correct food in a timely fashion. But, you must understand that some things, like this scenario, are out of the server’s hands. Don’t be nasty and punish them for it. Always, always, always tip. If you can’t afford to enoy your loved one’s time and you can’t afford to tip, then stay home and be miserable. That’s all. Hope this fixes things!
Tammy Lou 🙂
“Why do you write all in caps?”
Because it EMPHASIZES what I am saying. I make the words I want to STAND OUT BIGGER to PROVE my points.
“Do you know that in the blogging world this means that you are yelling at me?”
I get mad in my post when people say things that make no sense to me, so YES, it’s yelling. Sometimes the topics get heated and you get frustrated with the person that doesn’t understand what you are saying is the TRUTH.
“The majority don’t. The majority of people on this Earth are very selfish.”
Then tell me WHY should I care about the server’s tip being good if they don’t care about me? Caring is a 2-WAY street, NOT just a 1-WAY street. You’ve got to care in order for your customer to care about your bills you have to pay.
“That is why so many on this blog said, “I don’t care about my server’s life, I care about my food!” Well, if you don’t care about them, then it makes it really hard for them to pretend to care about you. Notice I say pretend. A good server is a good actor.”
The thing is, we care about YOUR TIP MONEY if you care about us. We may not care about your personal issues just as you
don’t care about ours, but as far as money goes, caring should be a 2-WAY street. You should care about our money, we should care about your money. As far as our food/drinks/time goes, if you want us to care about your tip, you need to care about
our dining experience. You cannot possibly expect us to care about you personally unless we are your friend, just as you
don’t care about us, because we aren’t your friend(I do however have a server that is a friend and I do have some servers that I talk to on a personal level when they aren’t busy, because when the servers are really caring about the service they give us, that shows they are nice people that CARE, so then that makes me want to be friends with them. Would you want to be friends with someone who wouldn’t care about your happiness when you dine out or would be so lazy as to just hand you anything without verifying for obvious mistakes?
You said ‘Well, if you don’t care about them, then it makes it really hard for them to pretend to care about you. Notice I say pretend. A good server is a good actor.”
Well then quit giving us sob stories about that the servers are trying to be a teacher by going to college and working as a server in a restaurant. If you “PRETEND” it will show through how you treat the customer. A good server is a person that TRULY DOES CARE, NOT that ACTS OR PRETENDS like they do. If our server doesn’t care, WHY should we care about “their ailing grandmother’s medical bills” as you made an example about? They could care less about us not only in a professional manner as far as doing their job correctly, but also on a personal level, so WHY act like we got to be the only ones that do the caring here?
“This girl is a rookie.”
Honestly, you don’t know that for a fact. Second of all, I have ZERO waitressing experience, YET, I KNOW how to do the job correctly and to be very caring to the customers so they can want to tip me well. I served customers as COUNTER HELP in a donut shop for over 2 yrs off and on between 1998-2002. I did do some waitress duties, but I wasn’t a waitress though. I still know how to treat a human being as if that were ME in the customer’s seat.
You act like this person doesn’t know how to be nice or something. You don’t need experience even being a server or a customer to be nice enough to apologize when you do something wrong. That’s just COMMON SENSE and having COMMON DECENCY. It has nothing to do with being an inexperienced server.
“then told you she would go to the kitchen to ring it in at once.”
The baked potato MAY have been on the ticket and that is probably why she though it wasn’t her fault just because she rung the order up correctly as to why she didn’t apologize. She should have apologized right away and went to tell the kitchen staff instead of looking at the ticket. WHO CARES if it’s on the ticket? That means nothing when the entrees were ready.
What means something is to fix the mistake as QUICKLY as possible by not worrying about if it’s on the ticket, but to actually just get the baked potato to the customer. She also could have reread her WRITTEN ORDER, because that’s more accurate since I have had servers before admitted they pressed the wrong buttons when ringing our orders into the computer.
They, more than likely, wrote it down correctly though.
“she could have asked if your hubby wanted a cup of soup, salad, anything while the new potato baked in the oven.”
I disagree on this one. He had PLENTY of food, so he would have REFUSED that offer. The customer wants thanks monetarily since they have already ordered the amount of food they wanted to order. Especially, at this restaurant, we were out of town(an hour and a half away), so we were going to the mall after and no ice chest when it was very hot outside so offering us more food is NOT EVER a good idea. You want to satisfy the customer. The way to do it is not to offer something extra,but to take away some of their bill, even if it’s just a coke($2-$2.50).
Once we had bad service, the manager offered us a free dessert. I personally would have rathered finish my entree and gotten a couple of bucks off the bill instead personally. I had to take part of my entree home that I wouldn’t have taken if we wouldn’t have had the dessert. DON’T EVER OFFER MORE FOOD!! People order food knowing how much they can eat in general. If they are going to order a dessert, then if you want to ask the manager to comp a dessert let’s say for a wrong entree, then I can see that, but don’t act like they are pressured into getting what the manager wants give or what you think they want.
I would have personally turned down more food. I keep my weight at 90-92lbs, so I don’t eat tons food. If I had the amount of food my husband ordered, I would have had lots to bring home that wouldn’t have been brought home since we weren’t going home right away or didn’t have an ice chest.
“This girl froze because she was embarrassed, or she didn’t know the proper procedure in this case, or she just got double sat when she found out about the mixup.”
She didn’t get double or triple sat, because I do have a set of eyes to notice this. Second of all, this was around 2p.m. so it wasn’t that busy on a friday afternoon unlike 7p.m. at night on a friday.
As far as her not knowing the “proper procedure”, well I have never been a waitress, but you don’t see me not knowing how to TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, now do you?
“She’s a rookie, cut her some slack.”
I cut servers slack when they APOLOGIZE for their mistakes, NOT when they are mean and uncaring about them. Not when they want to blame someone else for a mistake that they could SEE with their own EYES to not bring it out to me. If you want slack cutted, APOLOGIZE, otherwise, don’t expect me to give a care about your tip.
I cannot believe you say “Cut her some slack” when you say servers such as yourself “PRETEND” and “ACT” like you care, but then expect us to care about their tip? That takes the cake.
“If you order a book at Barnes and Noble and it doesn’t come in the day it was supposed to, do you make a fuss there? Probably not. It’s the mail.”
We aren’t paying for the “SERVICE” here. NOBODY tips the mail man or mail lady do they? You are comparing ORANGES TO APPLES.
That is like comparing a McDonald’s cashier to a waitress, because there is no comparison since McDonald’s cashiers aren’t
allowed to accept tips. You say it’s the “MAIL” well, maybe not. Maybe it’s someone at Barnes and Noble that put in your order wrong or put the wrong address so it got mail to the wrong address or there was no such address that was typed or written on the package. Once, a package my husband ordered had the wrong address even though he put in the correct address on the internet. It wasn’t the mail man or lady’s fault. That was someone at the business that he ordered from that was at fault. So you are coming up with assumptions instead of REAL EXAMPLES that would actually prove something, because you have proved you are uneducated about this subject.
“So if something happens in a restaurant do the same thing! Relax and just be happy that you are having food.”
Having your food after the other person or people are finished or just about finished eating wasn’t the POINT of going out to eat. The point is to eat together, not to get delayed. I am talking about wrong entrees, since that is something that puts a huge delay on a customer’s food.
Also, if the server takes almost 5 minutes to get the condiments I want, my food has started and sometimes has gotten completely COLD before waiting that long in air conditioning in the summer time when they have the cold air blasting. So relaxing is NOT how I feel when that type of thing happens. I am sitting there waiting to ENJOY my food the exact way I ordered it when my server COULD OFFERED to have bring it ahead of time. I honestly shouldn’t have to ask for the condiments ahead of time. Even a manager at Chili’s once told me that I shouldn’t have to ask that when I never said I did have to. I had told him I had forgot to ask my server to bring them ahead of time when I had ordered the 2 condiments and that’s when the manager said something just like this “You shouldn’t have to ask that.”
“This is unacceptable. If you didn’t like your service, then let your server know! I never understand why people like you don’t do this! Are you afraid of the confrontation? Don’t want to make a scene? The next time a server upsets you, I want you to tell her right then and there (in a nice way of course). Stand up for yourself! And don’t keep your server in the dark. Let her know what she is doing wrong. Give her a chance to modify her ways so that she can be better at her job. If you leave a crappy tip, of course she knows something went wrong somewhere. But admist all of the hustle and bustle of a busy night shift she won’t remember you at the end of the evening, which is anywhere from four to ten hours after she served you. Also, if you are upset with service, tell the manager.”
You NEVER actually “READ” my post did you?
I said this: “I had asked why she didn’t check our check over and she said “I do”, but then she said “I don’t add it up””
Right there I told her by ASKING her the question and she answered with that she didn’t TRY to verify the prices as it is HER JOB to correctly charge us by if she found an overcharged price that she would have gone to her manager to get it corrected BEFORE handing the check to us. She didn’t do that. She admitted she didn’t compare the prices on our check with the menu as we did to find the error. I also told her which I didn’t say in my last post something like “We shouldn’t have to go $2.99, $6.99, $9.99 and make sure each price that is listed on the menu(soft drink prices aren’t listed at this restaurant as a lot of restaurants aren’t).” SO YES I TOLD HER and SHE WILL REMEMBER THAT THE REST OF HER LIFE PROBABLY. Servers do remember the bad tippers. We tipped her 20% once before when she actually didn’t do the best job, but was decent service. We tip the way we get treated and how the situation gets handled. Our job is to be customers as you said “RELAX”, NOT having to double check prices to make sure we aren’t getting ripped off. It’s one thing if she actually TRIED, but she ADMITTED “I don’t add it up”, so I don’t feel sorry for that uncaring excuse for a human being.
A manager on duty got involved and was told since it was an overcharge situation. No comp was given.
I would say 99% of the time I let them know what they did wrong by wanting the mistake corrected. An example would be forgetting my condiments. The other 1% to me should be common sense such as not wanting to wait 10 minutes to get your check rung up or waiting for your check when you are completely finished. Wanting your soft drinks or tea to get to your table before 10 minutes when you are only in a party of 2.
You probably wouldn’t say this one is common sense, but to me it is: When servers just bring or pour refills without asking permission first. I know lots of people like it all because there is less interruptions that way, but I feel the server should just ask when they greet you if you want refills without being asked throughout your service instead of just taking it upon themselves to order for you. My husband and I have SWITCHED drinks lots of times, mostly me. Sometimes I get tired of the same drink and want something else. I remember once my husband had diet coke, then a refill of diet coke, then he wanted water, because he didn’t want more soda. That’s an example of if the server would have decided to just bring it, she would have wasted her time and overstepped by ordering for the customer. To me it’s common sense to let the CUSTOMER ORDER FOR THEMSELVES. Customers run the show. If the customer wants their side salad with their entree they can have it like that.
If the customer wants their side salad or soup before their appetizer, they can have it. If they want their side salad or soup after an appetizer, they can have things that way too. If the customer wants dessert first, they can do it that way also. If a customer wants to share an entree, they can do that too. If a customer wants their beer with their meal, they can do that to. Do you understand that it’s really up to the CUSTOMER to make ALL the decisions about their dining experience and it’s not up to the servers to do that for their customers without permission to do so?
“Only managers can help you with your check.”
Not true. My server CAN pay out of their OWN POCKET for an overcharge. An example would be at times we have had cents overcharge like sometimes we have had like 30 cents overcharge. Guess what? My server COULD give us 50 cents so we don’t have to wait to get the check fixed or for them to get a manager. They DEFINATELY would improve their tip from me that’s for sure not to have the hassle of getting the check fixed. Honestly, they could also give $2 out of their own pocket for our inconvenience as well.
Also, the server is supposed to get the manager, NOT US since we are PAYING OUR SERVER for HER to get it corrected. WE
shouldn’t have to do a thing. We shouldn’t have to ask for a manager. At times when we have had overcharges, the SERVERS
went to get the manager to fix it NOT US personally.
“But don’t take it out on the server. They literally cannot afford it. When you leave a 4% tip, it hurts.”
Then maybe they should CARE about the customer’s money and dining experience then. It HURT us that she admitted she didn’t give a care about OUR MONEY, so WHY should we care about hers? She ADMITTED she didn’t try to make sure she was charging us correctly. Some servers think they only have to bring you things and that earns a tip. That’s just simply not true.
You say “it hurts”, but then all the while ACT and PRETEND to care, so WHY should we care if it hurts if it’s DESERVED? You don’t care about my dining experience, so why should I care much about your tip money?
Bringing me things is only a small part of the tip. The tip is more for getting things done right and in a timely manner.
“It’s mean.”
SHE was mean to us to say “I DON’T ADD IT UP”, well don’t you think that’s DEFENSIVE instead of just NICELY admitted fault?
An example would be “I know I could have made sure the check prices were correct, I am so sorry.” Instead, she DEFENDED HERSELF as if that was OK to not care about what she was handing us. That was MEAN for her to tell us that, especially like that. It’s not only what she said, but how she said it so DEFENSIVELY as if she couldn’t have possibly have even thought of our money as if it meant nothing, yet, this person actually wanted a good tip obviously. We honestly should have stiffed her for her poor attitude. You don’t tell a customer a defensive remark when THE CUSTOMER CAN SEE THE MISTAKE since this is not something they can’t touch like a person’s food such as an slightly undercooked steak. In other words, it’s this was 100% in the server’s control to catch this mistake, bring it to the manager’s attention to get it fixed, and THEN handed us the check with the correct prices. We are PAYING the server to do this. At Taco Bell just a few months ago, on the menu I bought 2 spicy chicken burritos $1.29 each. After I received my receipt, I noticed we were charged $1.49. At Taco Bell, these cashiers don’t make tips, so I totally 100% fully understand they don’t give a care if they overcharge us since we aren’t PAYING for the service we receive. I don’t blame the taco bell cashier for this situation that happened since we aren’t paying for the service. In the other situation, we ARE paying the server for our service. So I expect my server to charge me correctly by TRYING and CARING, NOT to be lazy and non-caring.
You don’t think that’s “MEAN” not to care about your customer’s money but then expect the customer to tip you well? Don’t you think that’s selfish? THat’s not nice in my mind. It’s not nice to defend yourself about something you have 100% control of finding the mistake such as anything on the check that is wrong(expect for taxes or if automatic gratuity is added due to a large party.
If the customer can easily find the mistake on their check and they don’t work there, SO can the SERVER!!
“Time with loved ones, however, cannot be replenished. I honestly don’t care if my server messes up, because the best part of going out for me is spending time with whoever I am out with. The server means well. They don’t want to do a poor job.”
While I totally agree with time not being able to be replenished, I disagree about that some servers mean well. If they meant well, they would APOLOGIZE for a mistake they made. If they meant well, they would have taken the EFFORT to verify the food or the check. This isn’t McDonald’s where you aren’t paying for the service, so don’t act like it is.
I honestly think they want to do a poor job, because they are lazy. WHY would a waitress tell me “I put in the order right” when 2 seconds literally she put my plate down and I saw my fries were very dark when I SPECIFICALLY ordered them “LIGHTLY COOKED, NOT OVERDONE?” I saw it without having to touch my food, so can SHE. Since she was our waitress and she took our food to us, I don’t get WHY she blamed the kitchen staff? Is she stupid or what? If I would have been the server, I would have not served that to the customer like that, plain and simple. I would have verified the plate with the written order BEFORE
bringing it out. I would have told the kitchen staff to recook the fries. THEN, brought out OBVIOUSLY correct fries to my customer. I couldn’t possibly blame someone else if you can see the mistake without having to touch the food or drink. It’s called EARNING YOUR TIP, NOT just bringing out ANYTHING. You want me to care about your tip, you need to care about my food being OBVIOUSLY correct. Even my husband noticed how extremely overdone the fries were. I noticed before she even left the table. I noticed it right when she put my plate down. This happened at Outback btw. You don’t blame someone else if the customer can notice the mistake that quickly without touch a thing. If YOU brought it out and TOOK the order, it’s YOUR FAULT when it’s an obvious mistake like that. I know what color difference to look for. Yellow, not dark brown.
In that situation, do you honestly think she meant well? I think we tipped her around 11%. If she would have not blamed the kitchen staff and apologized, 15% or so would have been her tip. She was uncaring, so that’s how we tipped. When you are mean, I am mean back in the tip. Blaming someone else when you SEE in the situation the customer notices the mistake that quickly(right when she put my plate in front of me), you need to look in the mirror before putting blame somewhere else.
That was mean for her to do such a thing. SO WHAT if she put the order in correctly? That’s STEP ONE! STEP TWO is BRINGING OUT THE FOOD AS OBVIOUSLY CORRECTLY AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY NOTICE. If she would have just simply overlooked the mistake, she would not have blamed the kitchen staff. She also would have apologized. It’s obvious she didn’t take her written order and compared it to the plate of food since she didn’t be nice enough to apologize even and had the GALL to blame the kitchen staff. HOW DARE a server do such a thing!!!
“kiss your ass even though you despise them.”
I don’t despise all servers. I despise the uncaring and lazy ones.
“I have lost both my mother and my father to cancer. I would give anything to have dinner with them. I don’t care if the server made mistakes. Mistakes can be fixed.”
I am VERY sorry to hear about your loss. I am so far extremely lucky to still have my parents. I am 31yrs old. I understand that, but at the same time cannot possibly understand since I haven’t lost my parents. My anger still wouldn’t change about service though I truly feel.
It’s hard not to let things get to you. I am pretty sure even you have some issues you wish you could change about yourself, just as just about anyone does.
“And even if the server made those mistakes, I would pay them 20% minimum, not because I am server – but because I don’t know if they are trying to (like me) make it through school to become a teacher to teach your children, or maybe they had a kid, or were responsible for their ailing grandmother’s medical bills. Whatever. The point is, the tips are all a server has.
Don’t be inhuman.”
Let me ask you a question: Do you care about your customer’s PERSONAL life struggles with money? If you don’t, WHY should we care about our server’s money struggles? All you should care about is doing a good job by trying your very best and being nice. Then, your customers if they are FAIR to you, should tip you well back by caring about your bills in that manner, NOT at a PERSONAL level as if they are your friend(unless they really are of course). Be honest, do you really care if your customers are struggling to make ends meet and this is the one time in the entire year they decided to go out to eat? I bet you don’t, so what do you expect from us then in that sense?
Also you keep saying “MISTAKES”, well sometimes it’s not “MISTAKES”, but lacks of EFFORT as the examples I wrote about above.
If you don’t try, you cannot call it a mistake, now can you, because you never tried?
You don’t care if your customer is a server too making it through school to become a teacher for your children or future children, so why should we care about that when it comes to the server having that situation?
It’s not being inhuman to tip low based on uncaring or/and lazy service. That’s treating the server as they treated you in the service they provided you. WHY should I treat you well with a 20% or more tip if you are going to treat me like you could care less?
“Notice you start by saying that “service can ALWAYS be perfect”, but then finish up with “that’s why it is PERFECT at times.” Which is it?”
I “CAN” be perfect, NOT that it actually is always perfect. Do you get that?
“You bash servers for caring more about their money than yours, but yet your first concern as a server is about…ding ding! Your money! Hahaha!”
I ONLY said that because of all the blogs that talk about CAMPERS that stay hours after they are finished. I wasn’t at ALL talking about myself as a server. I don’t know WHY you think I was? I was talking about the servers complaing about the customers that stay longer than they should.
http://ihatemycustomers.blogspot.com/2007/10/feel-like-eating-out-tonight-read-this.html
This is somebody’s blog. This set of rules has been posted for years all over the place on the internet.
“2. “THE CAMPERS”: If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can’t seat it, we don’t make money.”
I am NOT the one concerned about the money here. I would be concerned with my customer’s happiness. You always ASSUME things, what is your problem here? You assumed I didn’t let my server know what was wrong, when I said I did in my first post to you, yet you assumed I didn’t, WHY is that?
“First of all, how are you going to afford hot water this month on 4%?”
Did you see her caring about OUR hot water bill this money? NO, she told us she didn’t try by saying “I don’t add it up.” Also, as you said, “PRETEND TO CARE” well she didn’t pretend to care, because she blurted out she didn’t by saying such a thing.
She also didn’t TRY to get something comped for it either or paid out of her own pocket a couple of bucks. So WHY should we care about her problems when she doesn’t care about ours? What goes around, comes around. We treated her the EXACT, EXACT WAY she treated us.
“People don’t like to be rushed.”
If they asked for their check, they aren’t being rushed.
“This is why I told you to always tell your server what is up.”
Either I or my husband tells them, because we want the mistake corrected. There’s no way I want the server to think we are just cheap.
“I always check, but some restaurants have what are called “expediters”. If a place is real busy, the expediter will stay on the line to arrange plates on trays so that a server can deliver food faster. Sometimes that person messes up. Why? Who knows? I’m not them. But I am the server. And it was not my fault”
I know this already that there is an expediter. I have a real problem with this quote. You aren’t them, but you know what, you are the SERVER that is the person getting PAID HERE, therefore if the expediter does mess up for things that are obvious like a wrong entree, missing side dish, missing containers of condiments such as a side of ranch, or anything I don’t have to TOUCH the food to notice the mistake, sorry, but WHO is getting TIPPED HERE? I am tipping my SERVER, so if she or he takes my food to me(NOT ANOTHER SERVER), they WROTE down the order(I HOPE), so they ALWAYS have a WAY to VERIFY the plates of food BEFORE DELIVERING THEM.
It’s called EARNING YOUR TIP!! Don’t let the expediter’s mistake be YOUR mistake if it’s something really obvious. If the customer can SEE with their EYES that something is wrong without touching a thing, SO CAN MY SERVER.
WHY in the world would you blame the expediter for YOU DELIVERING me the completely wrong food or missing or wrong side dish or missing containers of condiments when YOU took the order and are getting tipped? It’s not the expediter’s fault YOU FORGOT the condiments from the kitchen. It’s not the expediter’s fault you didn’t compare the written order to the plate of food BEFORE you handed it to me. That’s YOURS 100%!! This one makes me FUME!! If it’s another server delivering the food, that part is talked about later in this post.
“But it is my responsibility to correct the problem.”
If that’s so, WHY NOT PREVENT the problem from GETTING TO THE CUSTOMER TO BEGIN WITH when it’s something really obvious that you don’t have to touch the food to notice the mistake with your EYES? WHY bring the customer the mistake when you don’t have to? Don’t say you don’t have time, because SOOOOOO MANY mistakes come to my table, so obviously those servers MADE the time to go ALL the way back to the kitchen for nothing, then come all the way back to give me the corrected food.
Don’t you want a good tip? At least TRY to get it right the FIRST TIME AROUND.
If it’s your responsibility, why not offer to bring condiments out ahead of time as I have had servers do, like at least more than 10 over the years when I didn’t ask them to even? They said they didn’t want to forget. Sometimes it was another person delivering the food, which they prevented that mistake from being a possible one.
“Sometimes that person messes up.”
Since we have established that, WHY NOT DOUBLE CHECK THEM? It’s not like this mistake happens once in a blue moon, this happens VERY FREQUENTLY. I wouldn’t trust an expediter with my tip, NO WAY with all the mistakes that have came to my table as a customer if I were a server.
Some restaurants have their servers tip out expediters, which means even if I don’t tip, GUESS WHAT? The expediter gets paid NO MATTER WHAT a percentage of sales. NOT FAIR TO ME, is that to you? That’s why I wouldn’t trust my tip with someone that will get paid no matter what happens. Same thing when another server runs the food. If I were a server, I’d always offer if I could to bring out condiments ahead of time to prevent those from being forgotten. At least I could prevent that type of mistake if the customer would say it’s ok to bring their condiments out ahead of time. I wouldn’t have to trust another server thatisn’t getting tipped for that at least.
“But, you must understand that some things, like this scenario, are out of the server’s hands. Don’t be nasty and punish them for it.”
WHERE in the world do you get this from? If it’s another server that runs the food, for the food items that aren’t condiments, if the order was put in right, no it wouldn’t be their fault, but it IS still part of the customer’s service.
WHY should the customer tip well for not good service? If I am not happy, I don’t care WHO brings out my food incorrectly even if you put in the order correctly. My service was poor, so the tip should be. It helps service, because then my server gets notified about the mistake and is usually the person that corrects it. Then, our server can tell their manager about the non-team work they have with this person instead of letting this person CONTINUE to be lazy and uncaring about their job.
Also, the order could be put in wrong. We had that happen once at Applebee’s. MY husband ordered a burger, our waitress admitted she put in baby back ribs. Another server brought him ribs. It wasn’t the other server’s fault our waitress pressed the wrong button, was it?
As far as condiments go, unless the customer refuses to let their server bring sides or bottles of condiments ahead of time if they are ordered, it’s ALWAYS the server’s fault that took the order. An example, at Applebee’s I ordered a bbq chicken sandwich that came with fries. I always order my condiments one the side to put the amount I want on it. I ordered 2 sides of mayo, 1 side of mustard, 1 side of ranch, and the side of bbq sauce on the side. Guess what? The server that brought out the food didn’t have none of the condiments. Do you really think that the other server actually missed 5 containers? GET REAL, that wasn’t a mistake, because I truly believe the waiter put the order in right? Guess what though? It’s not the other server’s fault. They aren’t getting a tip. It’s just running out other server’s food. That waitress that ran our food to us could have cared less what she brought us since she wasn’t getting tipped. I know for a fact they have no food runners at Applebees, that they have other servers that run each other’s food. Guess what? OUR WAITER COULD HAVE OFFERED TO BRING ALL OF THOSE CONDIMENTS OUT BEFORE THE FOOD WAS READY and actually brought them out. He didn’t, so YES, it was HIS FAULT to trust someone that wasn’t getting tipped to do a job that isn’t their table even. There isn’t usually much team work in restaurants today. He was making the tip, it’s was up to him to EARN his tip by TRYING to get that right at least.
“Sometimes that person messes up. Why? Who knows?”
Most of the time it’s just like that Applebee’s waiter told me “They are too lazy to read the tickets.” HE TOLD ME THAT. I honestly believe that he really put in the order correctly. That’s why that the other server usually messes up on obvious mistakes. Sometimes it’s the main server that put in the order wrong, but most of the time, it’s the other server that is too lazy to verify the ticket with the plate of food before delivering it to the table. We have even had a times other servers bring us things we didn’t order even. They take the person’s word for it to bring it to table such-n-such instead of reading the ticket number themselves more than likely.
I am going to write one last time. This is absolutely ridiculous! I have tried to be nice to you, but apparently you are one of those people who are always right and can never be wrong. You are a cold, nasty, anorexic bitch who deserves all she gets. Furthermore, you are an unintelligent nitwit who cannot even read correctly.
Did I say I pretended to care about my guests? No! I said “most people”. I told you that I loved my job, that I like making someone’s day better. You are a evidently one of those bitches who loves to take a person’s words and scramble them up to benefit your own argument, instead of trying to meet in the middle and trying to see another person’s side like I do. I have never, ever met someone who is such a hypocrite! You want people to be nice to you, but you don’t think you have to be nice to them??? Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. They have to earn your good manners? Excuse me, but you are nobody! You are not some queen who people have to kiss your ass before you will even give a hint of a smile.
“We aren’t paying for the “SERVICE” here. NOBODY tips the mail man or mail lady do they? You are comparing ORANGES TO APPLES.”
No. You paid for a book to come in on a certain day. You paid for your food to come out at a certain time. It’s the same thing!
“So you are coming up with assumptions instead of REAL EXAMPLES that would actually prove something, because you have proved you are uneducated about this subject.”
I am uneducated about this subject? Real examples? Any example I would give you would be tossed away, so long as it proves you to be in the right and me in the wrong. Damn, do I feel feel sorry for your husband. You are such a bitch. Poor man 🙁
“Our job is to be customers as you said “RELAX”, NOT having to double check prices to make sure we aren’t getting ripped off. It’s one thing if she actually TRIED, but she ADMITTED “I don’t add it up”, so I don’t feel sorry for that uncaring excuse for a human being.”
Wow. Are you superwoman? I can’t believe I’ve been arguing with someone who has never made a mistake in her life! Whoa! What an honor! Grow up lady. People make mistakes. You need to go see a psychiatrist so you can get something for your paranoia. Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone wants to rip you off. Although I must say, after how rude you have been I would personally love to strip you of everything you have for a day just so that you can learn a little humility!
“You probably wouldn’t say this one is common sense, but to me it is: When servers just bring or pour refills without asking permission first.”
We didn’t even talk about this! Why are you bringing unnecessary shit up? Just to make your novel longer? Lol!
“Not true. My server CAN pay out of their OWN POCKET for an overcharge.”
No, not always. A lot of reataurants will fire you over this one, or it is just impossible because servers do not have access to tips until the end of the night (like at Perkins where I work). I suppose you would say something like, “Well then bring extra money with you!” Sorry, but no. If I made a mistake and rang in the wrong thing, my manager always clears up the problem and gives a coupon for next time.
“Honestly, they could also give $2 out of their own pocket for our inconvenience as well.”
Lol! So I’m going to pay you to go out to eat – when I’m wondering if I’ll be able to afford eating this week myself! That is ridiculous. You know, I think we should just include the tip (like in Europe). Then angry, bitter people like you would be forced to give a tip. I like that idea. Of course, you wouldn’t. But then that means you would probably stay home and no one would have to meet your miserable ass! Yay!!!
“If the customer can easily find the mistake on their check and they don’t work there, SO can the SERVER!!”
Well…duh. All you are doing is sitting on your ass enjoying yourself. The server is working! Of course a mistake will slip up every now and then. Sheesh, put your thinking cap on lady!
“I don’t despise all servers. I despise the uncaring and lazy ones.”
Oh yes, that’s right. Only 99% of them. My mistake. Ever stop to think the problem is you? It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you go in like the sour puss that you are and expect to get bad service, then you probably will! The server can pick up on your bad attitude. How do you be nice to someone who is a complete asshole? THAT is what I meant about having to pretend.
“Let me ask you a question: Do you care about your customer’s PERSONAL life struggles with money?”
Yes, when someone asks me which entree is better, I recommend the cheaper on that tastes just as good. I give out coupons at breakfast. Those coupons are worth $5. I tell people that if they order off of the senior menu ($3-7 price range) then they can usually eat breakfast for free if they use the said coupon. Perkins might not make much off the meal, sure. But I will, because I saved the customer’s money. Plus, I just earned a loyal guest. That’s why my section is always full. People request me. The fact is, you go out there generalizing, expecting the worst until you are proved wrong. Don’t be like that. It is no way to live life!
“I am VERY sorry to hear about your loss. I am so far extremely lucky to still have my parents. I am 31yrs old. I understand that, but at the same time cannot possibly understand since I haven’t lost my parents. My anger still wouldn’t change about service though I truly feel.”
No, you are not sorry. You say this because it is the correct thing to say. I know you hate me. I didn’t mention my parents’ deaths to inspire sympathy, but to prove a point. Enjoy life, be thankful for what you have, and don’t bitch about things that won’t matter when you are gone!
“Be honest, do you really care if your customers are struggling to make ends meet and this is the one time in the entire year they decided to go out to eat? I bet you don’t, so what do you expect from us then in that sense?”
Of course! I’m in the same boat!!! I would love to go out to eat. To be served, instead of doing the serving! But, I would make sure that I had saved up enough money to do it correctly. There you go assuming the worst again…
“It’s not being inhuman to tip low based on uncaring or/and lazy service. That’s treating the server as they treated you in the service they provided you. WHY should I treat you well with a 20% or more tip if you are going to treat me like you could care less?”
An eye for an eye, eh? How vindictive of you. Try turning the other cheek instead. Goodness comes back to you three-fold you know.
“I “CAN” be perfect, NOT that it actually is always perfect. Do you get that?”
Read this: “service can ALWAYS be perfect.” Lol! And you call servers stupid…
“I ONLY said that because of all the blogs that talk about CAMPERS that stay hours after they are finished. I wasn’t at ALL talking about myself as a server. I don’t know WHY you think I was? I was talking about the servers complaing about the customers that stay longer than they should.”
Pardon me, but unless the writing in question is a work of fiction (which this is not), first-person narrative indicates that the writer is talking about themselves. You specifically said, “The faster the customer is gone, the faster you get more customers to make more tips, so I personally would rather get more customers than to waste time playing around writing crap that NO ONE cares about.” See? Please stop embarrassing yourself with poor grammar. You are not going to best me in this particular area. Maybe if there was a contest having to do with “nastiest bitch”, but otherwise, no. Lol!
“There’s no way I want the server to think we are just cheap.”
How can you say that when you are the epitome of cheapness?
“It’s not the expediter’s fault YOU FORGOT the condiments from the kitchen. It’s not the expediter’s fault you didn’t compare the written order to the plate of food BEFORE you handed it to me. That’s YOURS 100%!! This one makes me FUME!! If it’s another server delivering the food, that part is talked about later in this post.”
Hellloooooo? Because it’s their job? Part of my tip money goes to them for doing their job correctly, you dumbass. If it’s busy, then I grab it. Why? Because 99% of the time, they are doing their job correctly. Sorry everything is not as perfect as you are.
“WHY should the customer tip well for not good service? If I am not happy, I don’t care WHO brings out my food incorrectly even if you put in the order correctly. My service was poor, so the tip should be.”
No, the tip should not be jipped just because you are impossible to please. People make mistakes, unlike you – who seems to be from some other planet where everyone does their job perfectly at all times. If you mess up at your job, which of course you do every once in a while, does your salary go down? No!!! So why is it fair for this to happen to servers? Your boss pays you to do your job correctly, just like you pay me to do mine. You are being ignorant, and I desperately recommend that you employ some of your “common sense” you keep going on about.
As I said, I am done with you. Don’t bother writing back this time, because I don’t give a fling about what bitterness will spill out of you. As for yelling at people on the internet, hear this: IF I EVER HAD THE MISERABLE FOURTUNE OF SERVING YOU, I WOULD JUST HAVE TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL FRESH, HOT COFFEE ALL OF YOUR BITCHY, COLD, HEARTLESS, IGNORANT, STUPID LAP!
Tammy Lou 🙂 Says
“I have never, ever met someone who is such a hypocrite!”
About what? What have I contradicted?
“You want people to be nice to you, but you don’t think you have to be nice to them???”
WHERE do you get I am not nice to them at? I AM NICE to them, it’s THEM that don’t say they are sorry to me when they mess up. HOW is THAT THEM BEING NICE? It’s NOT. It’s mean.
So saying “Thank you” isn’t nice? Yet, they can go without apologizing when they mess up and you consider that nice?
“No. You paid for a book to come in on a certain day. You paid for your food to come out at a certain time. It’s the same thing!”
NO, because with food, I am paying for the FOOD PLUS THE SERVER FOR THEIR SERVICE. When I pay for a book, I may pay for shipping and handling fee, but that is REQUIRED, which a tip is OPTIONAL. Do you get that or what? I may have paid for the book to come in, but their EMPLOYER is PAYING for them to deliver it to me ON TIME, which I am paying MY SERVER to deliver my food ON TIME. GET THE HUGE DIFFERENCE? As I said before, you are COMPARING APPLES TO ORANGES. One person is being tipped, one isn’t. One payment is REQUIRED by LAW, the other is optional when you only have a party of 2.
So NO, it’s NOT THE SAME THING BY A LONG SHOT!! In both situations, I am paying for the item(book vs. entree), but in the server’s case, I am paying her for her delivery service to an OPTIONAL tip amount, where as a delivery fee to the company delivering the book I am REQUIRED BY LAW to do that. So if the service stinks, by LAW, I still have to pay the FULL AMOUNT OF SHIPPING AND HANDLING, but I DO NOT HAVE TO TIP THE SERVER A PENNY IF HIS OR HER SERVICE STINKS. GET THE DIFFERENCE? Are you that DENSE? You have NO COMMON SENSE TO SPEAK OF.
The food to come out at a certain time can depend on the cook’s as well. It can also depend on if the computer system didn’t malfunction and the order was lost with no ticket even though the server put in the ticket. Short staffed kitchen staff may be the blame for long waits for food. It’s very rare that servers forget to put orders in as far as our experiences go. It’s only happened 3 times. We have had servers purposely delay putting orders in before at times, but it’s not very often.
I am paying the server for what THEY can control, NOT penalizing them for the lack of kitchen staff or lazy cooks. You don’t think of any of these things when you try to convince me you’re right, do you? I just PROVED without a doubt 100%, I am RIGHT, because I am smart with these types of situations. I have common sense, you don’t, to say that it’s the same thing paying for a book to arrive vs. a server to arrive with my food on time. It’s NOWHERE NEAR the same thing by a long shot!!
“Real examples? Any example I would give you would be tossed away, so long as it proves you to be in the right and me in the wrong. Damn, do I feel feel sorry for your husband. You are such a bitch. Poor man”
You are just mad, because I PROVED YOU WRONG YOU IDIOT!! You are STUPID to mention that it’s the same thing to compare an employee that doesn’t make tips to one that does. That’s just UNCOMPARABLE. It’s like comparing McDonald’s to a non-fast food restaurant. Both places have 2 kinds of paid employees. One we tip, the other we don’t. You cannot compare people that don’t get tipped to people that do.
“People make mistakes.”
Most of the time it’s servers that DON’T TRY, so it’s NOT A “MISTAKE” if you haven’t given any EFFORT. To tell me “I don’t add it up” to my face about an overcharged item, tells me she didn’t TRY. That wasn’t a mistake, so WHY should I feel sorry for someone who doesn’t care about their customer’s money, huh? If you don’t care, why should I?
“or it is just impossible because servers do not have access to tips until the end of the night (like at Perkins where I work). I suppose you would say something like, “Well then bring extra money with you!” Sorry, but no. If I made a mistake and rang in the wrong thing, my manager always clears up the problem and gives a coupon for next time.”
You could bring extra money with you. Normally managers don’t give comps for overcharges. A lot of times, the servers don’t notify the manager so they have no clue that something is wrong to even give a comp. Also, a lot of managers don’t care, so they don’t give anything away for free. If you want a good tip, it’s up to YOU to MAKE-UP for it, NOT your manager if they don’t follow through for you.
“A lot of reataurants will fire you over this one,”
That is LUDICROUS!!! WHY? You wouldn’t have done anything wrong. That makes NO SENSE to fire someone over trying to fix a mistake yourself. This sounds like a bunch of BS to me. Just an excuse so you don’t have to.
“So I’m going to pay you to go out to eat – when I’m wondering if I’ll be able to afford eating this week myself! That is ridiculous.”
That has NOTHING to do with “AFFORDING” ANYTHING you idiot!! It has to do with MAKING UP, that’s right, MAKING UP FOR YOUR MISTAKE. Affording to go out to eat has NOTHING to do with what tip you deserve. You should give me $2 off from your pocket if the manager’s doesn’t for let’s say you ringing in a wrong entree, so I had to wait twice as long for my food. YOU messed up, so it’s up to YOU if you want any payment for your services to MAKE-UP for it YOURSELF!! Saying you are sorry cost nothing, but SHOWING you are sorry shows MUCH MORE than you are truly sorry by TRYING to make-up for the mistake.
So you think we should tip you a penny if you aren’t going to comp something YOURSELF by paying for my coke if your manager refuses, well you don’t deserve a penny tip even. If I were a server, I’d rather have $2 off my tip, than to be stiffed. You show me you care, I will show you I care. GET IT? Some tip is better than no tip.
“Of course a mistake will slip up every now and then.”
As I said before, with price overcharges, these servers AREN’T COMPARING the MENU PRICES to the check, so it’s not a real “MISTAKE” that they actually put FORTH EFFORT into finding the wrong price, NO, they made US do it instead. Do you understand it’s not a mistake if you don’t TRY? It’s a lack of EFFORT and being UNCARING as well as being VERY LAZY?
“Ever stop to think the problem is you?”
NO, because I have always apologized when I messed up and even when it wasn’t my fault at the donut shop when I served customers, which a lot of servers don’t apologize for their own mistakes, much less someone else’s. If anything, the problem is THEM. They forget something or get something wrong, they SHOULD apologize, it’s as simple as that.
“Of course! I’m in the same boat!!! I would love to go out to eat. To be served, instead of doing the serving!”
“This girl froze because she was embarrassed, or she didn’t know the proper procedure in this case, or she just got double sat when she found out about the mixup. She’s a rookie, cut her some slack.”
You said this above in an earlier post. If you CARED about your customers, you wouldn’t try to defend the server for not apologizing for HER mistake, now would you?
You also made excuses for not her apologizing due to that she could have been very busy. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES BEING BUSY HAVE TO DO WITH TAKING 2 FREAKIN SECONDS TO APOLOGIZE, HUH? Being a DECENT human being takes 2 seconds. I cannot believe you want me to believe you that you actually CARE about customers, yet, look at how you DEFENDED HER that she was a “rookie”, yet, I NEVER once waitressed, but I have a HEART to know that you be NICE enough to say you are sorry when you mess up. I would be a caring server, she wasn’t. There is no defense to not apologize when it was HER MISTAKE and I am shocked that someone would defend a server like that. It’s like you are defending the server that it was ok, because she was new at the job and too busy not to be nice. There is NO DEFENSE here. I don’t care if it was her first day. I messed up lots my first day at the donut shop and had the HEART to apologize to customers in drive-thru that DIDN’T tip 99.9% of the time. WHY try to defend someone that it was ok not to apologize when it was their fault?
“An eye for an eye, eh? How vindictive of you. Try turning the other cheek instead. Goodness comes back to you three-fold you know.”
WHY be walked all over? Should I treat you good, then always get the bad treatment? HOW IS THAT FAIR? What’s fair is fair and what isn’t, isn’t.
You treat me like crap, that’s how I will treat you in the tip. What do you expect?
“The faster the customer is gone, the faster you get more customers to make more tips, so I personally would rather get more customers than to waste time playing around writing crap that NO ONE cares about.”
I messed up saying “I” in that sentence. I was trying to say most servers complain about the ones that stay longer than their stay is all. I think anyone though would rather make more money 5 seconds sooner than to write something that wastes time. I am thinking about the customers that are hungry waiting for a table, not just a tip I would make if I were a server. I really am more thinking about when I have waited for a table how I would have loved to have gotten seated 5 seconds sooner, so that’s how I look at it. I look at writing all of that crap a time waster, for real. NO ONE CARES about if you write “thank you”, I mean seriously.
“How can you say that when you are the epitome of cheapness?”
Tipping 25%-30% is NOT CHEAP, which we have paid servers that LOTS OF TIMES, so you have NO CLUE as to what you are talking about.
“Hellloooooo? Because it’s their job? Part of my tip money goes to them for doing their job correctly, you dumbass.”
HELLLLOOOO, it’s NOT THEIR JOB, it’s MY SERVER’S JOB THAT I AM PAYING THEM TO DO. It may not be my tip money that goes to them if I didn’t tip you. You STILL have to tip them out, so WHY mention that my tip money goes to them, when in actuality, you will have to pay them REGARDLESS of what happens or doesn’t happen in my service? Also, the tip out is out of SALES, NOT a PERCENTAGE of the TIP I gave. Therefore, if they mess up, they still get their whatever percentages of sales, NOT percentage of TIP. So it’s YOU that’s the DUMBASS that I know MORE about this stuff than an actual server, WHAT A LAUGH!!
The person I am actually PAYING is the person responsible for the condiments, NOT the expo. Did I give the expo my order or YOU? Am I paying the expo or YOU are? YOU ARE PAYING THE EXPO, NOT ME. You may use someone else’s tip or your own personal money to pay the expo if I don’t tip you DUMBASS!!
The person getting PAID from the customer is responsible for the condiments, NO ONE ELSE!!! HOW can you possibly put the blame on someone that never once took my order even? That NEVER once put in the order into the computer system? That isn’t going to be personally tipped from ME?
Initially, the expo is supposed to do their job, but you know what, the person I am paying is the person that I am paying to get the food right, NOT the expo. I am NOT PAYING THE EXPO, YOU IDIOT!!! Are you that STUPID, that you don’t realize you have to tip out the expo even if I tip you nothing? Therefore, my tip has nothing to do with paying the expo, you IDIOT!! The tip out comes from sales anyways, NOT from my tip.
“No, the tip should not be jipped just because you are impossible to please. People make mistakes, unlike you – who seems to be from some other planet where everyone does their job perfectly at all times. If you mess up at your job, which of course you do every once in a while, does your salary go down? No!!! So why is it fair for this to happen to servers? Your boss pays you to do your job correctly, just like you pay me to do mine. You are being ignorant, and I desperately recommend that you employ some of your “common sense” you keep going on about.”
The difference with my job is, my boss is REQUIRED BY LAW to pay me whether I do my job wrong or right, but NO ONE has to by LAW tip you when they are in a small party. Get the difference here? It’s YOU that has no common sense once again comparing a NON-TIPPED employee to a TIPPED one.
If “MY SERVICE” is crappy due to another server forgetting my side dish, even if I would find out my server put in the order correctly, I still would tipped based on MY SERVICE, since MY SERVICE was crappy. WHY should I tip well when I didn’t receive “PROPER” service(TIPS=TO INSURE PROPER SERVICE)? This person was IN MY SERVICE at my table delivering me food, so if they mess up, I am not happy, so WHY should I tip well for crap service? Look at it from the customer’s point of view. They didn’t have their side dish to eat with their food. Even if the other server forgot it, that still should go against the tip. It’s only fair that we base the tip on the SERVICE, NOT if that other server doesn’t get penalized or not. That’s YOUR PROBLEM. Honestly, it improves service, because then the original server would tell their manager about the situation and actually get the other server to READ the tickets BEFORE bringing out the food instead of not reading them. I will not pay well for bad service. I have nothing to do with that the other server doesn’t get penalized for forgetting my side dish. WHY punish the customer for that? Talk to your manager about making things fair that if that other server is at fault, they should get a hit in their tips. Don’t make it OUR PROBLEM, because it’s NOT. I didn’t make the tip out system. Blame the owner of the restaurant.
“IF I EVER HAD THE MISERABLE FOURTUNE OF SERVING YOU, I WOULD JUST HAVE TO ACCIDENTALLY SPILL FRESH, HOT COFFEE ALL OF YOUR BITCHY, COLD, HEARTLESS, IGNORANT, STUPID LAP!”
You are just mad that I PROVED you WRONG and you don’t want to admit the TRUTH!! You would go to JAIL for ASSAULT if you did that to me you BITCH!!
Trying to get on track now 🙂
I personally am a server, for Applebee’s actually. While there are some things that I am required to do, I HATE doing it. These things are the things people complain about. Like suggestive selling. Yuk! But, as someone mentioned above, there is the ever looming fear of the infamous “secret shoppers”. Our store gets 4 a month & yes, it is true, bad score = no job. There are certain things that I HAVE to say & do to get these points. Keep in mind I have NO idea who is a secret shopper & who isn’t.
* First I have to greet the table within one minute, welcoming them, & telling them my name (yes, I ALWAYS use my real name!). I have to offer you 2 specific drinks outside of pop, tea, coffee, etc. to boost our “average check”. Before I leave to go get your drinks, I have to tell you what we are “featuring” at that time. I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials for, recently, “2 for $20” & right now we are “featuring” steaks. THEN I have to offer you 2 specific appetizers. yuck.
I know you hate sitting through it & I hate wasting your time. Because I know 9 time out of 10 you already know what you want & most of ya’ll are intelligent enough to ask questions if the situation calls for it.
After I bring your entree’s, (yes I FIGHT to take my own food out to my own tables. Those other servers have no business taking food to the tables when they have no idea what goes where) I have to be back within 2 minutes or to bites to see if everything is prepared okay. While at your table, if it happens to be lunch hours, I must leave your check with you.
*I don’t see where this is ever that big of a deal. During lunch I know many people are on their lunch break & need to be in & out as quickly as possible. But, I ALWAYS let my tables know that there is absolutely no rush, that I will still be around to help them with whatever their needs, &, complying with the “secret shop” guidelines, offer 2 specific deserts. If they would like desert, I let them know I would be happy to add it to the check.
* If I am not very busy I always sign “Thanks!!” & my name. I do this because I really do appreciate their patronage. I leave my name so if they enjoyed my service, they can come back & request me.
I do enjoy my job & I’m not here to complain. I most of the time think that poor tipping is ignorance. Some people just don’t know that because they are expected to tip (by the government). I work in West Virginia where I make $2.13/hr plus tips. I cannot complain much where others that I work with complain a lot!! I’ve compared my earnings total weekly compared to what I would make just at a minimum wage job around town & there is a significant difference! I fully aware that I will have great days & I will have days that I am an inch away from quitting. That being said, I would like to comment on somethings mentioned through out these “comments”.
* First off…I make it a point to “read” my customers during my greeting. If it appears that they are visiting with friends, having a business meeting, etc., I know that they prefer a more “silent service” experience. I will not talk more than I have to & will silently bring refills & such. I will stand while I take their order. NO TOUCHING!
If they are nice & talkative I will be more personable & at times have shared jokes back & forth but I always let the table take the lead to control their own dining experience. I will be more apt to kneel while taking their order. If it’s a group of guys I will give them a gentle shove on the shoulder while joking around & such. That is really the only time I will even consider touching anyone. If it’s a couple I will generally try to give attention to the female, so they don’t think I’m flirting with their husband. I’ve overheard women being very vindictive toward the server when it comes to tipping because the female server payed a little too much attention to her husband.
*One thing I will absolutely will not do is sit down with my customers! I am not part of their family, nor should I be treated as such. I will kneel down with families of kids because it brings me to the children’s level because I love entertaining kids & making them feel special so this way I can encourage them to order for themselves & hear what they say. They feel so grown up! I love the smiles I get.
*I really do not understand why some servers hate to wait on tables that have children. While there are some people with children that come in that let their children run all over the restaurant, (I’ve even had to escort a 2 year old out of the kitchen because his parents let him run around everywhere!) most families are just fine. I expect there to be a slight mess. They’re kids. Kids will do that. The parents can’t be expected not to take their kids out to a restaurant until they’re 10 years old!
* I try very diligently to not say “guys” when there are ladies present. I only say “guys” or “fellas” when it’s a table full of men. I will say “ladies” when it’s a table full of women. I will say “folks” or “ya’ll” in mixed company. (I know it can be difficult in addressing mixed company. I think the only reason I have a slight advantage is because of where I live & work. Since we’re a little bit “hick” anyway, “folks” & “ya’ll” seem to fit. I’m interested to see what more urban servers use in addressing mixed company)
I’ve actually had 2 tables thank me for not using “guys”. It made my day!
*Oh! Please tell your server if there was something specific you enjoyed about their service! I won’t mind being left a mediocre tip if I made your day! (well that’s just me anyway lol)
*(applies to parties over 6-8)
As well…as for parties, I personally have no problem with separating checks for everyone. All I ask is to please please please don’t get up switch seats with your neighbor & block the isle. Well at least wait till you have gotten your food. I number the seats & go in a specific order to ring your food in, separate the checks, & deliver your food. If by the time I ring in your food you have all switched seats, it is completely inevitable to have the food “auctioned” off & there will possibly be someone else’s food on your check. I will fix these errors but if you want your meal efficiently please consider these “rules”. Also, if there are separated checks, please give me time to cash them out. 1/2 are credit cards & the other half are cash & I don’t have enough change on me so I have to go to the bar to get more change while they are trying to make 10 drinks. Yeah it can get a little hectic but I will try my best to get your change/receipts back to you *correctly* as soon as possible.
* This one is a little off topic, but my restaurant does NOT give us candy to give to the patrons. I, although, have brought in a bag of candy (wrapped of course) for holidays for me to munch on as well as my coworkers while we are setting up for the shift. whatever is left over I will give to my tables because it’s a nice gesture & I really don’t need to be eating that whole bag of candy anyway! lol.
* I do want to make a point about “sidework”. These are the tasks that are involved with setting up for your shift & to do during your shift to keep things running smoothly. While the details can be a little difficult to really comprehend(for the customer). It can be very difficult to do during a rush! This includes rolling silverware, stocking, making tea, doing backups, & for day shift this includes washing our dishes, line dishes, & prep dishes & “expo-ing” our food. This in addition to waiting on our tables. Just a little patience during a rush please.
*one more thing that has been bugging me a little bit lately. While it is perfectly acceptable to expect clean silverware, that fork you are eating with has been used by at least 500 other people so you can’t expect it to look like your finest silver gathering dust in your china cabinet. If it’s honestly dirty I will get you a new set, but if its just water spots, you’ll get under my skin a little bit. If you’re not satisfied with your eating utensils, I do have wrapped plastic silverware in the back that I would be more than happy to get for you!
Hope this is at least a little bit useful & I look forward to more comments!
Tammy Louw sounds like a wonderful server.
Springs1 sounds like she has some issues she needs to deal with, in or outside of a restaurant.
John
“Tammy Louw sounds like a wonderful server.”
Tammy Louw said: “Hellloooooo? Because it’s their job?”
If she was such a wonderful server, she would check over the expeditor’s work you idiot. She is TOO LAZY AND UNCARING to do that for her customers. The CUSTOMERS are paying her and we aren’t paying the expo, SHE IS from whatever money she has, which if we tip nothing, she still has to tip the expo. Get what I am saying? Your server is responsible for checking the plate to see if it has condiments on it that it’s either supposed to have according to the menu or that were added, BEFORE they BRING it to you. THAT IS YOUR SERVER’S JOB, NOT THE EXPO’S JOB!
She wouldn’t be a wonderful server, she is a VERY LAZY AND UNCARING ONE! You don’t put someone else’s job that is yours on someone else that the customer isn’t paying that person for, but is paying YOU for. You have to know what is in your hands you are bringing to the table as far as obvious mistakes go. THAT is how you would be a WONDERFUL SERVER as far as that aspect goes.
Springs1,
Let me get this straight. It sounds to me that you basically think that EVERYTHING in the restaurant falls on the server. And technically you ARE paying the expo to do their job. That steak you’re eating really didn’t cost $15. Like everything else in this world prices are raised to cover costs. Examples include utility bills, and, ooops, employee wages. And honestly, somethings you just cannot tell if they are correct until you cut into the food. Example you ask? Here you go… Most restaurants cook their steaks over open flame therefore any steak cooked medium & over is nearly impossible to tell if it was cooked correctly just by looking at the outside. Of course it looks well on the outside sometimes but when cut into the steak it could be anywhere from medium to well. We do have temperatures to go by for what is “technically” medium so on & so forth but the meat itself can cook differently at times. That’s just one example. Yes the server SHOULD always look over the ticket to ensure that all the food is put together correctly. And in a perfect world that happens. Also in a perfect world there aren’t call-offs, no shows, & slackers. But guess what. This isn’t a perfect world. Servers are humans, not robots if you could ever look me in the face & tell me that you have never ever made one mistake in your life then I will be so happy as to have you as a guest in my restaurant. Your expectations have absolutely no lea way & are that of what we have for CEO’s & World Leaders. Being a server does not require a college degree nor to have finished high school. If everyone was as derogatory to me as you, my sanity would be better off on some street corner or under a bridge if it meant not having to deal with the likes of you. I get paid $2.13 an hour. I love my job. I have good days & I have bad days. Same with other people at other jobs. I don’t tell you how to do your job. You’ve got your bosses to do that. I’ve got my bosses to tell me every single day how to do my job. I just don’t understand why anyone would EXPECT someone to kiss up to them if it was just to tear down everything they did to try to help you have an enjoyable evening. To me, you seem like that mean little 5 year old on a sunny day entertaining himself with a magnifying glass & an ant hill.
Rachel
“It sounds to me that you basically think that EVERYTHING in the restaurant falls on the server.”
Things servers CAN CONTROL ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1. The server can input the order wrong into the computer.
2. The server can bring you the wrong food.
3. The server can forget to bring something from the kitchen to our table.
4. The server can bring out something wrong that is very obvious such as the customer states “NO bbq sauce on their ribs, just on the side”, then brings out the ribs with bbq sauce on them and no side of bbq sauce. That’s not the kitchen staff’s fault my server didn’t get the mistake fixed before they brought me the food wrong, is it?
5. If another server brings out the food, it’s still part of our service if we receive a mistake with our food, even if our server put the order in right, the service still suffers regardless. So when I have had another server a couple of times forget a side dish that wasn’t my server, I still took it out on the tip, because for one thing I don’t know if my server is at fault and even if I did, it’s part of my service that sucks, therefore it’s something that should affect the tip.
6. Containers or bottles of condiments can always be brought out ahead of time, so you cannot blame ANYONE ELSE for YOU forgetting those since they need no COOKING involved and take less than 5 minutes to get to me.
Things servers CANNOT CONTROL ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1. Raw food if it’s not obvious
2. A steak cooked incorrectly if there isn’t an obvious color difference such as rare vs. well done. If another server brings out an obvious color difference mistake, my server couldn’t control that if they put in the order correctly, BUT, it still does affect the service.
3. A wrong burrito filling
4. Something covered up by something else that cannot be easily seen such as a pickle under a bun.
There may be other things I cannot think of, but the point is, MOST food mistakes ARE the server’s fault in general. If another server brings out the food wrong even if the main server put the order in 100% correctly, that still is part of the service. Yes, it’s unfair, but it’s unfair to the customer as well if you think we should tip based on as if nothing went wrong when it did. Good tips are for good service, so even if YOU didn’t bring me the wrong food and put in the order right or forgot my side dish or whatever kind of obvious mistake I have, I will still have lousy service waiting for the correct food.
“And technically you ARE paying the expo to do their job.”
NO, you are 100% WRONG! If someone stiffs the server let’s say. Guess what? The server STILL has to tip out around 8% of SALES to the following bartender(if the restaurant has a bartender), hostess or host, bussers, and expos. My server STILL has to pay the expo REGARDLESS if I tip or not. Therefore, that customer that stiffs isn’t tipping the expo, MY SERVER IS!
Let’s say I tip my server 12% for giving me not so great service. Guess what? That tip out money can come from my server’s PERSONAL MONEY they brought from home or it can come from SOME OTHER CUSTOMER’S TIP. It does not mean the server is using the money I tipped to pay the expo.
Let’s say my server uses the 12% I tipped to tip the expo, guess what? MY SERVER TIPPED THAT out of THEIR MONEY. Once I gave them their tip, it’s THEIRS to do as they please. They are required to tip out the other co-workers, which means THE CUSTOMER ISN’T TIPPING ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR THEIR SERVER!
You are a MORON not to understand the only person that is getting tipped is the SERVER from the customer. The server tips their expo. The customer has no say so if you use the money they tipped you with or not, nor do they give a care.
So you are WRONG, “TECHNICALLY” we are tipping our SERVER ONLY, NOT ANYONE ELSE! WE ARE NOT AT ALL TIPPING SOMEONE WE DON’T EVEN SEE OR THAT IS IN OUR SERVICE, that’s ABSURD!
If someone stiffs you, the money comes from SOMEWHERE to be able to tip out the expo, DOESN’T IT? You are an IDIOT! I have never served, yet I know MORE than you. That’s pathetic, it really is. WE ONLY TIP OUR SERVERS, NOT the expo dumbass.
“somethings you just cannot tell if they are correct until you cut into the food. Example you ask? Here you go… Most restaurants cook their steaks over open flame therefore any steak cooked medium & over is nearly impossible to tell if it was cooked correctly just by looking at the outside. Of course it looks well on the outside sometimes but when cut into the steak it could be anywhere from medium to well. We do have temperatures to go by for what is “technically” medium so on & so forth but the meat itself can cook differently at times. That’s just one example.”
WHY are you WASTING YOUR TIME TELLING ME THIS COMMON SENSE STUFF? I was ONLY talking about things the server can notice WITHOUT HAVING to TOUCH THE FOOD AT ALL, such as a side of ranch missing from a plate.
WHY waste your time telling me this? This stuff is COMMON SENSE ANY MORON WOULD KNOW! I know you’d have to CUT INTO A STEAK under normal circumstances to know if it’s cooked a certain temperature or not. What I mean by normal circumstances is that if the server didn’t put in the order wrong or if they didn’t bring out an obvious wrong color. At Outback I really once saw another party receiving a RED steak, LITERALLY it was red, so that means you can tell the difference between RARE vs. WELL DONE or even Medium well, because it was red as if they hardly cooked it for real.
“Being a server does not require a college degree nor to have finished high school.”
I know this already, but most lousy service type of situations are COMMON SENSE that when they brought out my food, it wasn’t even resembling what I ordered or it had several things wrong and/or missing all because they didn’t check over their written order with the plate of food BEFORE they deliver it.
My point is, I am TIRED of the LAZYS out there. I do have some servers that are excellent, but I have had my share of the lazy ones as well is what I am saying.
“I don’t tell you how to do your job.”
Some jobs need an education to get it. I need to tell the server how to do their job, because there are SOME severs out there that are so lazy and stupid, it’s ridiculous. Bringing me the completely wrong thing when you are only in a party of 2 makes no sense. We have had this happen a few times at least by the SAME SERVER that took our order. We have had at least a couple of times or so missing side dishes when it was just me and my husband. It makes no sense to have such a thing happen. I don’t care HOW stressed you are about he other tables. You are supposed to verify WHAT THE HELL is in your hands BEFORE you come to my table. I am NOT THE SERVER’S BABY-SITTER! Take the EFFORT MORE than a fast food worker does since you are making tips here. This is a job where you EARN YOU MONEY.
Just this past Saturday, a particular restaurant chain has a drink on their drink menu that stated specifically it has a yellow sugared crusted rim. Guess what? The waitress brought the drink without the crusted rim. See, what is wrong with servers they cannot compare the menu with the drink they are bringing? Don’t say you don’t have time, because this is NOT FAST FOOD SERVICE, so you DO HAVE TIME! That was something MY WAITRESS COULD HAVE NOTICED WITHOUT DRINKING THE DRINK OR TOUCHING ANYTHING!
That’s just an example that I know the menu better than some servers. That’s pathetic, it really is. I don’t mean memorize things, I mean compare the drink and/or if I said anything that I wanted differently(written order), which I didn’t to the menu.
I KNOW HOW TO DO THEIR JOB BETTER THAN THEY DO! Isn’t that something? It’s not a mistake when it’s that obvious and you are only bringing out ONE ITEM like she did as well as it wasn’t busy either at the time. That was her not verifying what she was bringing out to me. The lazy servers of the world is what I hate. Don’t tell me you know what your job is if you aren’t doing it and I can SEE with my own eyes you aren’t is what I am saying as far as servers like that one.
“To me, you seem like that mean little 5 year old on a sunny day entertaining himself with a magnifying glass & a ant hill.”
You are the one that is mean telling me you think you know it all, when you are FAR FROM KNOWING IT ALL about serving. I have never been a server, but I see what to do and what not to do when OBVIOUS mistakes come to my table. Servers are in charge for MOST things, notice I didn’t and would NEVER say ALL. My server is always in charge of my check unless someone else hands me my check. That includes prices. If there is a price that is overcharged, my server should notice this BEFORE giving it to me and ask their manager to fix it BEFORE it gets to the customer. My point is, a server’s job is to get the job done CORRECTLY the first time around as much as you possibly can by giving it all your effort. Yes, we all make mistakes, but it shouldn’t be as often as it is at restaurants. Most of the time, it’s truly servers not verifying the things they hand the customer. If they would have taken 20 seconds, they could have noticed my missing ranch or side dish. Things like that is what irks me that I have to baby-sit them by reminding them when it’s OBVIOUS things aren’t correct. Some even have the audacity to blame the kitchen staff when it was a missing side dish or condiment. I was thinking in my head “No, you forgot to bring it from the kitchen or maybe even didn’t put the order in right as well so that’s why it’s not there to begin with even.”
A LOT of servers need to be told how to do their jobs, because it’s pathetic when some can’t even get the simplest things right like noticing salt on the rim of a margarita glass or not noticing I don’t have any utensils to eat with. I cannot count the number of times I just got up to get my own utensils or had to ask to get some. That’s just basic stuff there, but a lot of servers are so UNOBSERVANT it’s ridiculous. Yes, the hostess should have put them there, but I shouldn’t have to get my own either you know and not be served food without them, like DUH~
Some servers just don’t have common sense. I have had some servers, which they wrote down my order even, then still bring out the food with SEVERAL OBVIOUS mistakes. One waitress had my 2 bbq sauces, 1 mayo missing. She also didn’t get right extra fries substituted for a big bowl of cinnamon apples that was on my plate. Things were just so obviously wrong. The manager told me she put in the order right. Tell me this, WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO IF THE FINAL RESULT HAS THINGS OBVIOUSLY WRONG WITH IT? Obviously, my server could have compared her written order or ticket since it was correct to the plate of food. She was too lazy to and even had the gall to ask me “So what did you order” when she brought my food to me, as if she didn’t write it down or something. She was too lazy to REREAD the written order. That’s sad it really is. She had to make SEVERAL trips to correct the situation from the condiments to when the extra fries were ready. That all could have been dealt with BEFORE she delivered my food. I know more than these idiots(only the dumb, bad ones) like this waitress that serve me it seems.
Springs1,
“You are the one that is mean telling me you think you know it all, when you are FAR FROM KNOWING IT ALL about serving. I have never been a server,…”
Maybe I was a little mean on that & I apologize, but, hey, I call it like I see it & it’s hard to see a lot by just 5 posts.
Oh, but I am a server. At Applebee’s, as I stated previously when I first posted in January. I’m also a bartender, expo, & car side person. 🙂 So there ya go…
“5. If another server brings out the food, it’s still part of our service if we receive a mistake with our food, even if our server put the order in right, the service still suffers regardless. So when I have had another server a couple of times forget a side dish that wasn’t my server, I still took it out on the tip, because for one thing I don’t know if my server is at fault and even if I did, it’s part of my service that sucks, therefore it’s something that should affect the tip.”
Even if your server comes by to make sure everything came out okay, notices the mistake, & gets it fixed for you immediately? Come on.
* Yes I did read everything you posted including …”Good tips are for good service, so even if YOU didn’t bring me the wrong food and put in the order right or forgot my side dish or whatever kind of obvious mistake I have, I will still have lousy service waiting for the correct food.” *
Your server could be one of those at are good what they do & then they have to take the fall for what the LAZY one did wrong because the LAZY one doesn’t care. Even if that particular restaurant doesn’t split tips?? I do understand that it takes away from the “experience”, but I have honestly NEVER had a dinning experience at a restaurant that was absolutely perfect in my eyes. That might be because I am a server & always point out what I would have done differently but that’s my problem. Not theirs. I simply ask for it to be corrected & if it is done quickly, efficiently, & apologetically it’s all kosher with me. If I want a “perfect” dinning experience up to my specifications, I cook at home.
“6. Containers or bottles of condiments can always be brought out ahead of time, so you cannot blame ANYONE ELSE for YOU forgetting those since they need no COOKING involved and take less than 5 minutes to get to me.”
Absolutely. It’s called “anticipating guests needs”. Which is why it’s a good idea for all servers to ask if mustard, ranch, etc. is needed when the order is taken. 🙂
“1. Raw food if it’s not obvious”
Absolutely. I’ve caught many salad’s with diced chicken that wasn’t cooked all the way because the cooks were in a hurry & had them re-cook the order (as well as a new salad base because the chicken has already touched it) before bringing it to the table. But then again, I have a better eye than most because I’ve been in the food industry for most of my life.
“4. Something covered up by something else that cannot be easily seen such as a pickle under a bun.”
I think that this, according to your rationale, should be on the list that servers can control. If it was rung in correctly, it will appear on the ticket that the expo is working by. Therefore the expo SHOULD make sure that there isn’t pickle on there & it should be double checked by the server before it is brought to the table. ESPECIALLY if the guest told the server of any allergies.
““And technically you ARE paying the expo to do their job.”
NO, you are 100% WRONG! If someone stiffs the server let’s say. Guess what? The server STILL has to tip out around 8% of SALES to the following bartender(if the restaurant has a bartender), hostess or host, bussers, and expos. My server STILL has to pay the expo REGARDLESS if I tip or not. Therefore, that customer that stiffs isn’t tipping the expo, MY SERVER IS!”
I’m neither 100% right or 100% wrong on this. Some restaurants don’t have the servers tip out anything other than the bartender, such as mine. Therefore, my point still stands as, at least, partially valid. It’s at very least a management issue if employees aren’t doing their jobs. Yes they could fire them but then the restaurant would be short handed & food takes longer & so the complaints continue. But like most things, good help is hard to find.
“This stuff is COMMON SENSE ANY MORON WOULD KNOW! I know you’d have to CUT INTO A STEAK under normal circumstances to know if it’s cooked a certain temperature or not.”
I apologize for my ignorance but I’ve had to explain this to more than one “moron” guest because they looked at the outside & said that it was overcooked & when I asked them to cut into it first “just to make sure” low & behold it was cooked the their specifications, which is why I used that as an example.
““Being a server does not require a college degree nor to have finished high school.”
I know this already, but most lousy service type of situations are COMMON SENSE that when they brought out my food, it wasn’t even resembling what I ordered or it had several things wrong and/or missing all because they didn’t check over their written order with the plate of food BEFORE they deliver it.”
I hate to say it but common sense is seriously lacking in today’s society. An off topic example: I once overheard the Valedictorian of my high school class ask how a fax machine worked. She asked if the machine rolled the paper up tightly & sent it through the wire. Another instance: She put diesel fuel in her gasoline powered Chevy cavalier. Just saying. 🙂 I still laugh about it. I think it just goes to show you the education really doesn’t prove how smart any one individual is.
“My point is, I am TIRED of the LAZYS out there. I do have some servers that are excellent, but I have had my share of the lazy ones as well is what I am saying.”
I do have a suggestion if it helps at all. Why not asking the host stand to be sat with the best server that is there at that time. They usually know the great ones from the ones that are below mediocre.
* FYI for all readers: it is perfectly acceptable to request you favorite server if you please 🙂
“I need to tell the server how to do their job, because there are SOME severs out there that are so lazy and stupid, it’s ridiculous.”
Yes, it is ridiculous. I work with a few & they hurt MY money as well.
“I don’t care HOW stressed you are about the other tables.”
Most people that say this line also come in at rush saying that they have a movie to go to in 30 minutes. I’m not saying that you do that. I’m just stating a fact.
“Don’t say you don’t have time, because this is NOT FAST FOOD SERVICE, so you DO HAVE TIME!”
It’s funny that you mentioned that because my manager has engraved it into our heads that it is, in the eyes of the big wigs that run the restaurant chain, a sit down fast food restaurant. As I pointed out in my first post, we all have times that we have to achieve at every table 100% of the time. While I do not fully agree with it, it is my job & it’s what I have to do.
“Just this past Saturday, a particular restaurant chain has a drink on their drink menu that stated specifically it has a yellow sugared crusted rim. Guess what? The waitress brought the drink without the crusted rim. See, what is wrong with servers they cannot compare the menu with the drink they are bringing? Don’t say you don’t have time, because this is NOT FAST FOOD SERVICE, so you DO HAVE TIME! That was something MY WAITRESS COULD HAVE NOTICED WITHOUT DRINKING THE DRINK OR TOUCHING ANYTHING!”
You do have a valid complaint. And I think that it should have been pointed out if you didn’t do so. They could have a) ran out of the sugar & didn’t inform the servers. At which point she should have told you when she saw the drink & asked you if that would be acceptable. b) The Big Wigs discontinued the practice & didn’t send out new menus yet. At which point your server should have told you. I know I went into length there but what it all boils down to is, you should have been informed. If they did have the sugar & the bartender didn’t put it on there, she should have had the bartender do it. After all, she is tipping out the bartender.
“If there is a price that is overcharged, my server should notice this BEFORE giving it to me and ask their manager to fix it BEFORE it gets to the customer.”
This happened to me last night! I accidentally hit the loaded mashed potatoes button & fixed the mistake with the kitchen & then had to go find a manager that was doing god knows what in the office in the middle of a rush to fix it! Of course that all falls on me & my stupidity. 🙂
“Most of the time, it’s truly servers not verifying the things they hand the customer.”
Agreed.
“Some even have the audacity to blame the kitchen staff when it was a missing side dish or condiment.”
I don’t suggest servers putting the blame anywhere. Just get it fixed. I do admit that there are times that I have to go back to get a ranch because I did ring it in & assumed that it would be on there & when another server brought out the food they didn’t check the ticket. But we covered that already.
I work with Rachel at Applebee’s and I have to say she’s an excellent server. As for Springs1, you sure have some serious expertise in the server department for someone who’s never actually done the job. If you are such a fantastic server, why don’t you do the job for a while? I’m sure when the only table you have to be concerned about as a customer is your own, it looks quite easy, but when you try to juggle 4 or 5 tables at a time, it can get complicated very quickly. So go get a job as a server, then come back in a month or so and let us all know how much money you made at it. Until then Springs, perhaps you should take a bite of humble pie and stop talking until you actually KNOW what the job is all about.
As far as expos go, I am an expo and a cook at Applebee’s and I’m the first to admit, I make mistakes. I’m not tipped out by anyone, but my mistakes do affect service, which is why I do everything I can from the back of the house to correct mistakes when they happen. But like many others have posted before me, we are humans, not robots, and as such, we are going to make mistakes sometimes.
By the way, a little note about “perfection.” Perfect means incapable of improvement. It is absolutely unattainable because each time it occurs, it only sets the bar higher to reach it again. I am not perfect, and I’ve never met anyone who was or is.
I never deduct “points” or dollars from a server’s tip. I always tip my servers at least twenty percent, unless they area just absolutely horrible (aka forget about me completely or something). If I’m out by myself and my check is under twenty dollars or so, I tip at least five dollars no matter what percent it is. After working in a restaurant for years, I understand that the servers depend on the tips for their income. If people in other industries make mistakes at work, they may be reprimanded, but don’t generally take pay cuts because of it. If the server served me, they deserve to be paid.
Hehehe. Thanks John at 99! By the way, good job not falling into Springs1’s evil trap of “Who Can Write the Longest Argument?” I was not so fourtunate…lol!
WOW! I got reading and couldn’t stop; it was like watching a high-speed chase in a movie and waiting for the crash!
I am also a server in a restaurant (family owned in a small town) with over 20 years experience.
Tammy Lou sounds like an excellent, experienced server and I really have to applaud her patience and calm sounding demeanor with Springs1. We do not have a Perkins where I live, but I would be asking if you worked there to request you if we did.
As for Springs1, Thank God we do not have an Outback Steakhouse either; I may run the risk of having to serve this IMPOSSIBLE-to-please b****! (Meaning she doesn’t live in my area). I guess our local Taco Bell is safe from her,too. I hope she doesn’t travel much.
I would love to have springs1 wait on MY table on a New Years Eve or Valentine’s Day! She would have an entirely different viewpoint,especially if I acted as she portreys herself. Then she can pay for my mealand get stiffed.
That would be funny; if it wasn’t so sad that she must get absolutely NO enjoyment out of life. I also feel bad for her husband; unless he is just like her. But, what are the odds there are two like that and they found each other – I shiver at the thought of it.
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH CHASE! AND MELISSA! I am 19 years old. I’m a waitress for a nice little Mexican restaurant. I have tried all these things (except for the touching people, I’m not comfortable enough to do it and I know people don’t want to be touched because I sure don’t) and maybe it’s this town I’ve been living in all my life, but I can’t seem to get good tips. An occasional $10 tip from a big family, but if it’s two or three people I’d be lucky to get a $5 tip. I can’t go back home to my parents and I have no house, life is hard to say the least. I’ve been living on couches and floors of friends for 2 years.This is my first waiting job, but there’s not many ways to increase those tips… because waiting is simple. And I know people hate when we do everything in our power to get “their money”, but really what else are we supposed to do when we get paid $2.13 and hour, get shitty hours, and depend on complete strangers to basically feed you and help you survive. Most people don’t realize how hard it is. So yes we make a mistake, but we always go back and make sure it’s just right for you. If you’re waitressing, you aren’t making a lot of money. You’re pretty much poor. There has got to be some other ways. Being friendly and being a cute young lady and being speedy and accurate are just not enough anymore. People seem to want more… but what more can we give. My advice is that if you aren’t going to tip well to a waitress who does everything right and fast and keeps your drinks full and takes care of your kids and keeps them happy and you never have to ask her for anything because she’s already thought of it for you, then don’t even think about going out to eat. Because it’s rude, and harsh, and WRONG, and greedy. Being a waitress myself, I ALWAYS tip at least 20% to the people who serve me because I know what it is to be a waitress and that there’s not much to it and if they can do those things for me then I keep it my 20%… if I have more people with me. If you’re by yourself and your you owe the restaurant like $10 then don’t tip your waiter a stupid $2. What are they going to do with that? Buy two McDoubles from McDonalds? UH no… Just give them a $5. They did their damnest to keep you happy and satisfied and gave good service they earned it. Even though it’s technically 50%, it’s only $5.
Add those five dollar bills up and consumers will go broke. Be realistic. I tip 15% for eating out unless it is outrageously priced like a casino steakhouse. Ten percent is plenty there as prices are overinflated. I don’t tip bartenders since markup is high and owner can pay them. Besides, most are lazy and just expect an easy buck.
When I frequent an establishment if I find the quality and taste of food is EXTRA DELICIOUS more so than what i normally expect or receive OR if the food is ALWAYS astounding then I not only show my appreciation to the server and reward them for the cooks job equally weighing in the quality of service.
I ALSO WILL TIP THE COOK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOES ANYONE ELSE DO THAT???
If the service is poor I leave very little tip for server and go to the manager and hand him $ and ask he gives it to the cook for a job well done. The cook will usually come out and thank the customer.
Tipping standards should always take equaly into consideration:
1) QUALITY AND TASTE OF FOOD
2) QUALITY AND FRIENDLINESS OF SERVICE
3) DID THEY KEEP COMING BACK 3x IN THE FIRST 5
MINUTES TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS OK (which is pointless to come back repeatedly the minute u get ur food) THEN LEAVE U HI & DRY FOR THE DURATION OF UR MEAL AND NOT ASK IF U NEED REFILL OR EXTRA SIDES SUCH AS MORE DRESSING OR SAUCE or did the server CHECK IN ON YOU AT APPROPRIATE INTERVALS???
4) was the server cutsie acting, bubbly and down to earth, perhaps she conversed with u on personal topics and was sociable. Of course not OD’ing on the above that would just be too ditzy. As far as touching I wouldn’t mind if it were a female to male but anything else would be wrong.
I know the server should not be rewarded or punished for quality of food but its a fact of life so make sure the cook is on target, gets order right (server can even make sure its right before serving it) and seasoned appriopriately. Sometimes they take short cuts and forget to season foods the way they normally do, then it tastes worse than normal.
Again i stress tip the cook if its extra good.
I am a food server and typically earn over 20% tips- even after tipping out my help. I am also an older server (48 yrs old) I can run cicles around my college aged co-workers and I will tell you that one reason I earn so much more than my other servers is that I use my manners. I have made a consistant effort to avoid asking “Can I….” and only ask “Excuse me for interupting, but MAY I bring you….” never refer to customers as “you guys” and always say good night, good afternoon, thank you, it was a pleasure serving you, please come again. Manners pay off. Also I highlight the total amount due, not the tip line on the receipt. But after making the change from “Can I” to “May I” I noticed a jump in my tips. I never touch, and I always say how well spoken and polite their children are–IF they are.
As a patron I find it annoying to hear I’ll be taking care of you today. Say you’ll be serving me. I don’t need a caretaker. Do you want to wash my car? Then say you’ll be our waitress. Tx
Why would people not want there server to tell you there name??i dont think its part of a script to tell your guests your name,they need it so when u walk by an they want to ask u something they dont have to say WAITER SIR/WAITRESS MAM OR MISS…
The plight of the server and guest seems so complicated in this thread. Many great topics have been touched upon and the reality of dealing with the public is quite apparent. What it all comes down to is that serving is a social experiment. You deal with a multitude of personalities that you must adjust to many times per day. To have a pleasant dining experience on both ends it really just comes down the this:
As a server-Be polite, knowledgeable and speedy.
As a guest- Be polite.
That’s it.
I have been a server for many years. I enjoy the job. Yes I have seen all kinds come across my tables and bars. The one thing a server has to remember be nice. No matter how rude the customer is, be nice and with a smile. One way I have found out be very nice to your cooks, expos, runners, host, and busser. Yes all of these make more than we do a hour. So what. Tip these others out and they will help you out. scrap your plates or empty some glasses a put in the racks. Ask the cook if they would like something to drink. Just different things like this will make a BIG difference.
I have collectively 7 yrs experience as a restaurant server…ALWAYS…stand up straight and smile!!! This is #1…I do the smiley faces and stickers on checks, I introduce myself, give my attention to ALL tables so I get what they need before they even know they need it. I do touch lightly on the shoulder depending on the way our dining relationship is going. Also, make a few non-verbal trips to the table…drop off silverware, crackers, butter, etc. this gives the customer a sense of trust in you being “there” if needed. ALL these things increase your earnings.
Understanding the LAW on TIPS and how servers get screwed repeatedly by management BREAKING THE LAW. 1st off, TIPS are in every LEGAL sense: GIFTS. Being the case, the GIFT in it’s entirety belongs to the recipient. POOLING tips is IMMORAL & often, ILLEGAL. Any business that does it might as well fly a Hammer/Sickle flag and will NOT get my patronage. If you’re a great server and want great tips, do NOT apply at locations that pool tips. I’m astonished that wasn’t mentioned in the article! 2nd point: Because TIPS are LEGALLY GIFTS, the law most often violated is TAX law. It get’s turned around bass ackwards. According to IRS publication 525 regarding GIFTS (& TIPS are GIFTS), the GIVER of a GIFT is responsible for any taxes — NOT the RECEIVER of the GIFT. The language is VERY CLEAR. That line on the tax return that reads “Wages, TIPS, Salary…” is NOT talking about TIPS RECEIVED. It’s talking about TIPS GIVEN (Say: “GIVEN”). WHY? The GIVER of a GIFT is responsible for any TAX LIABILITY on it –NOT the Receiver of the GIFT! This is where you should FIRE about 99.99% of all CPA’s & “Tax-advisers”. Because they can’t follow basic instructions. Giving a server a 1099 for TIPS they received is TAX FRAUD. It is a FELONY. This is why in the USA, the tax code uses the term “VOLUNTARY ASSESSMENT”. It is up to the tax-payer to look over their financials and determine to the best of their ability how the numbers fall based on their own reading of the law. It is NOT up to bean counters to push a 1099 every time a nickle graces someone pocket because contrary to popular mis-education, a “TAX-PAYER” is a person liable for any statutory tax owed and the “TAX-PAYER” is sometimes NOT the person who received the benefit of a financial transaction. So here’s the bottom line/s: A server who makes a quinzillion quatloos a year in TIPS owes ZER0 tax on those tips (TIPS are GIFTS and the GIVER of a GIFT is LIABLE for any TAX owed -NOT the RECEIVER – IRS Publication 525). The businessman/tax-payer who earns 1-million quatloos a year and gives 100,000 in TIPS fills in 1,100,000 (1-Million + 100,000) on the INCOME line so that the TAX OWED gets PAID as the LAW CLEARLY STATES. Now, it is inevitable that some accounting “experts” will disagree for no other reason than they’ve been screwing people by getting this backwards since Moses was in diapers. I simple DEMAND a simple detail: PRODUCE A LAW that overrides IRS publication 525! And if you really want to turn your tax paradigm upside down, G00GLE: IRS CID Joseph Banister.
Unfortunately, you are wrong. Tips are a legally different category more similar to wages than to gifts. I agree with you however, that they should be considered gifts as they are optional and a cash transaction. However, they are counted into total wages for the employee’s pay period and are calculated when deducting pay taxes (social security, local and state taxes). Though I suppose per-paycheck wage taxes may be calculated different in your state.
As for tip pooling, it is not immoral, though politically many do not agree with it. I think it depends more on the service type, where some tips are issued per table, and some are counted at the register, and servers may quickly alternate between register/host and busser/ server positions. As is often the case in fast paced locations.