This guest post from Jane is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success or failure. These stories feature folks with all levels of financial maturity and income.
I recently wrote a comment on a post that seemed to resonate with numerous people. It was in reference to an staff writer audition article about “stuffitis” and the liberation the author felt once she let go of a large portion of her belongings. This seems to be a common point of discussion on personal finance blogs. For instance, J.D. has waged his own war on stuff.
In my head, I see the logical connection. Once we begin to take control of our money, it often means curbing our consumerist tendencies. Shopping is oftentimes an American pastime. I have to admit I am not immune to this either. I get it — we need to curb our desire to spend and fill our homes with needless things.
But this really isn't the whole picture, is it?
Minimalism Is Not Mandatory
I would argue that the minimalist household is largely an aesthetic ideal. When I look at Real Simple or a West Elm catalogue, I feel a twinge of inadequacy. My home doesn't have empty tabletops and one lone vase on the mantle.
Part of me craves sleek design for both aesthetic and practical reasons. It's much easier to clean a mantle with nothing on it than it is to remove all the frames, broken toy parts, and other random things that grace mine at the moment.
So, you might ask, what does this have to do with personal finance? Well, really nothing. But that's the whole point.
A cluttered home doesn't mean you are one step away from bankruptcy. Conversely, neither does a minimalist room equal financial restraint. The reality is that I live in my home.
I also take care of kids in my home all day long. Like most families, with young kids, we have lots of toys. They have this strange way of multiplying right before my eyes. It would make me miserable to expect my home to not have stacks of games and puzzles on top of the china cabinet. Or dozens of Hot Wheels stalled in a traffic jam on the hardwood floor. This is my life. It's a stage that I must embrace.
And if I look further in the future, maybe I shouldn't expect to go back to a simpler household. Even now, I think it will be hard to get rid of the wooden trains with all their dents and chipped paint. They will eventually trigger memories of an important and comparatively short time in my life. And wouldn't it be meaningful to save at least a portion of them for the next generation?
I know I cherish my father's metal tractor that now sits on a shelf in my eldest son's room. I'm grateful that my grandmother didn't dispose of it as clutter but rather tucked it away for me to find some day.
Stuff Isn't Evil
We can all agree that our belongings or the desire for more of them shouldn't control us. But neither should we hold ourselves to an ideal that might not be practical or sustainable for us personally.
In general, we should be careful about conflating financial prudence with matters of personal preference. Perhaps the next time we see the loads of knickknacks that fill our great aunt's home, we should think of all the memories attached to those items. They're not always useless objects but are sometimes important markers of past times and cherished experiences.
Yes, I agree with the memories that are attached to various items. There are a few items of my kids that I have kept but I have not kept them all just because they may be of value some day or that someone may want them later. The mounds of hot wheels were sold to a family up the street and those kids love them. My sone, kept his few favorites before they were sold. Of what is left in my house are items that do bring back memories and are also useful. I am far from cluttered but not as minimalist as the mag pictures show. It is fine as long as the balance is good for you. I have a relative that has so much, she cannot find anything and has duplicates because she did not know which pile it was in. I think both extremes can be unhealthy. Our “homes” are expressions of how we live and what we value.
I’m one of those evil stuff-haters, but that being said, i don’t consider stuff that is being used to be clutter. In my opinnion most decorative items are unnecessary and ugly. Just my opinnion tho, nothing more. Many people like porcelane figurines, or there wouldn’t be a market for them in the first place.
Half of the stuff (by volume) i have, i don’t need. I have some stuff that is junk. It doesn’t get in the way because i have a moderate amount of stuff to begin with.
The minimalist aesthetic is pleasing to me. Have you ever noticed that most pictures of it tend to create space by adding space? Whoever it is that can actually afford a livingroom the size of a warehouse good for them, but it is hardly frugal living.
Too much clutter is only a real problem if you can’t find what you need or can’t safely live amidst your stuff (hoarders in denial, i mean you).
Unnecessary duplicates is an area where i think everyone needs to set the boundaries for gray for themselves.
Let me repeat my main thought; if an item gets used it is never clutter.
And never underestimate the power of a wide angle lens 😉
The author also leaves out one of my main reasons for holding on to junk, “I might need it some day.” Yes we all have seen the Hoarders episode where people save old newspapers and pizza boxes with this rationale, but in my own life I actually do sometimes need what people would call junk. At one time or another I’ve been glad for having randome spare screws, computer cables, tools, and empty boxes that many people would have thrown out. No, not critical, I could have gone out and bought another screw for 25 cents, and that’s a tradeoff many would make. But “junk” is not always “junk” if it saves you some time and money down the line.
I was going to say the same thing about hoarding 🙂 One member of our family kept everything because “it might be useful someday”. She lived through the Great Depression, so it was a habit.
The problem was that a lot of the clothing, linens, household items, etc. were so hopelessly out of date when she passed that we couldn’t give them away. The sad thing is that if she had donated those unused items 40-50 years ago, someone who genuinely needed them could have used them.
It’s a really difficult balance to strike — knowing what to keep “just in case” and letting go of what you aren’t using so someone else can use it.
Sometimes “not chucking” can equal “not wasting,” which is a frugal virtue. My partner possesses a lot of genuinely beautiful and functional things that we don’t need or have room for. Most are from his past life (marriage) but he occasionally adds to the accumulation. This stuff is relegated to our barn, and sometimes it annoys me that we have a barnful of furniture and other items we aren’t using. However, a year ago I found myself with the need to furnish a small apartment in another city so that I could go back to school. My partner and I went through the barn and were able to furnish the whole little place for free, with a few Craigslist fill-ins. And the stuff is nice, no particleboard! This has made me re-think my hatred of accumulation — as long as it stays out of “Hoarders” territory. I think it may be useful as our kids begin establishing their own homes. More barn, less Ikea.
Agreed. While the author’s main point was regarding memories. Personally, as a frugal person, I often find minimalism and frugality to be at odds with each other. Personally, I cannot easily afford the things I throw out. So telling me to get rid of something and replace if I find I really need it later is not a solution. As I wrote elsewhere-yes I only use my gigantic slow cooker once or maybe twice a year. but when I need it, I NEED it. Nothing else will do as a substitute. So as long as I have room, whose to say that three slow cookers, each of a different size, are wrong. I havent canned it two years, but I am dong so in the current year………….and so it goes.
I as a wife whose husband worked for the government and got transferred overseas, I have spent months on end with none of our own stuff except what we could carry in suitcases. Say what you will, I need my stuff.
On the flip side, for most of us our biggest expense is our rent/mortgage, and this can often be reduced by living in a smaller space. Living in a smaller space is much easier with less stuff. Two years ago, I felt like I needed a bigger place, even though I knew that logically, I should be just fine in my 600-650 square foot 1-bedroom apartment. I live alone, so I knew it *should* work, but I felt cramped. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of stuff I don’t need or use (I have a pile of 60+ books now to get rid of, old clothes that don’t fit, etc.) and the place feels quite comfortable – no need to move at all! And if I need a smaller space to save money, I think I can manage it now.
Agreed. I was raised in a poor family, and if we lost something or broke it, it didn’t get replaced. Now I find it hard to throw something out if I can see how I might need it down the road, because it feels like I can’t replace it! I do my best to organize my clutter so I can find what I need: for example, I just outfitted DS for school through the drawer cart containing school supplies purchased from past sales; he needs nothing new this year (besides clothes to replace what he outgrew).
If I can’t use it and it’s not trash, I donate if possible. Fortunately my place of employment has a donation group and I both offload a ton of crap I don’t need and occasionally find things I do need for free/cheap (including both the desk I’m sitting at and the old computer I’m using to type and send this, both battered and ugly but free).
I’m not a minimalist, but I still have too much clutter. It prevents Flow from occurring in my life.
I bought some very good hiking shoes in 1998 for a trip to Australia. Wore them for 6 weeks, then they were relegated to the back of the closet. Kept thinking I should get rid of them (through several moves), but didn’t. They came in very handy in 2006 for a spa/hiking trip (broken in, no blisters!). Kept them afterward, in my condo’s storage unit. Unearthed them this May for a repeat trip to the spa/hiking destination and they served me well once again. I throw away or donate things almost every month but am so glad I kept those shoes! My KitchenAid is similar. Don’t use it much, but when I need it, I NEED it. Nothing else will do.
Ha! A new screw isn’t 25 cents, but 25 cents plus time to drive to the hardware store, a bit of gas for the car, and breaking your flow of concentration on your project to make the trip. Ok if you’re going there anyway, need a break from screaming kids, or it’s a really specialized kind of screw. Otherwise, for any kind of do-it-yourselfer, experimenter, or artist it’s great to have materials and parts at home.
Boy, can I EVER relate to what EVERYbody is saying on here ! I do NOT save empty food containers or obvious trash but when it comes to paper with useful information, names, or contact numbers that I might need in the future, I STRUGGLE with organization issues. and if it is something that somebody, someWHERE might be able to use, I wrangle with whether or not to throw it ouw. Fortunately, I am becoming more discriminatory with that. I, personally, have recieved a LOT of help from Sandra Felton’s Messie’s Anonymous, and one of the organizational coaches on one of the Hoarders programs, really helped me with the constant question “Is it nourishing to mind, body, and spirit ?” on whether or not to KEEP something or not. Blessings to everyone out there who struggles with these issues
I am doing a major decluttering at my house and it is going in fits and starts as I try to get rid of “ghosts”, stuff that represents old hobbies,old desires. It’s tough but I want a cleaner lifestyle, a re-edited version of my life so I have space for other possibilities. I’m not opposed to having stuff but I know how overwhelming it can be when you are not making choices.
My aunt is currently cleaning out my grandparents large house and it is painful just dealing with the volume of everyday stuff(& nice stuff) and I would not say these folks were hoarders, just kept stuff beyond when they were past the possibilty of using it. NOthing will go to waste, but it is going to take a while to redistribute everything. I am resisting the urge to take things just to get them out of their house and off my aunts hands.
My other grandmother edited frequently toward the end of her life. It seemed ruthless at the time, but so much easier to deal with the last couple of years. At the very end she had a couple of scrapbooks, her desk and her clothes. All most precious.
I just spent a weekend trying to pack up the things that most matter for my in-laws as they are moving out of their home (of 40 years) and into an assisted living facility. The house is small but chock full of stuff – much of it actual nice stuff, presents they were given or things they bought on vacations/holidays but so much of it is likely to end up in a landfill somewhere. Yes, we will try to donate as much as we can to Good Will and the families of the home health aids who worked to take care of them for the past several years but in the end, due to time constraints, a lot of it will end up in dumpsters. That alone has made me more conscious of what we have in the house and bring into the house. It helps to curtail shopping when you wonder if the cute thing from Home Goods which is such a deal at $7 will just be chucked in a dumpster someday.
Meredith,
I don’t know what area of the country you live in, but here in Cincy, there are companies whose sole line of business is helping families clean out houses for elderly or deceased relatives exactly as you are describing. They are experts at appraising items for sale, and will know what is truly “junk” versus something that has value. Most of the time, they’ll run the sale for you (either at the house, or onsite at their facility), and only keep a percentage of the revenues – the family keeps the rest. The money may come in handy down the road in case the cost of your relatives’ care exceeds what their insurance will cover.
Just throwing out a suggestion to consider before dumpsters!
Also, I just thought of non-profit organizations that (unlike Goodwill), will actually come to the house & pick the items up. Is there a Lupus Society or AmVets in your area? Many times, they aren’t picky about what you’re donating… they’ll take just about anything.
@Cincy, just an FYI but GoodWill in our area (Phoenix) does pickup from homes. It’s fairly new, but they will do it.
Thanks Cincy! The house is in CA (I live in MA and just returned from there). I will look into these companies to see if there is such a service in their area in CA. Thanks so much for the suggestion!!!
Nice post! I recently moved after living in the same home for 11 years, and before that, it was my grandparent’s home which I practically grew up in because both of my parents are professionals and were working a lot. While moving I found lots of things, but the things that stick most in my mind are Matchbox cars. I found lots of them. When we moved, my youngest son was a teenager, no longer playing with toys, but as soon as I started finding these little cars in boxes and closets, all over really, it instantly took me back to when the kids were little. My house was often “messy” with toys. Games were stacked up on closet shelves, and their school pictures that hung on the walls in the living room changed every year. There was an extensive Matchbox city in one of our flower beds every summer, and in the dining room every winter.
The fact that when my kids were little there was always some little stack of toys or “clutter” somewhere had nothing to do with our financial situation. When we moved we made a very large down payment on our new home, with our payments low enough that we could feasibly pay it off in 5 years. I know many people that can not say the same, and a few of those people even have immaculate houses!
I agree, I like the minimalist ideals and I’m very into the buy less, living with enough approach but it wars with my recycle, make do & mend beliefs too.
I come from a long line of pack rats, who would hoard like theres no tomorrow mostly because we where, as poor as the preverbal church mice, and you never knew when it would come in handy!
I of course rebelled against this in my youth & spent lots of money on things that I ended up throwing away, or giving away to charity like a good consumer! But I always lived within my means & didn’t fall into the debt trap until I met that special someone who enjoyed a “good bargain” he went on to amass a wealth of “stuff” getting us further & further into debt “look how much I I’ve saved us” he’d say when another package arrived from eBay or amazon! To be fare I also started buying more things than I needed & since I was the main bread winner, he would ask me to “contribute” to “our” new found bargain! This went on for almost 13 years & in an effort to sort out all “our debts” I took out a very large loan (enough for a deposit on a large house! Makes me sick now) & cut right back on spending, & I would also try & curb his spending by not helping him out of the hole he kept digging him self into.
This of course put a strain on our relationship & 2 years later just as I was having some health problems he walked out, leaving me with most of the “stuff” & the large loan (He couldn’t get credit so it was in my name we were engaged to be married so I thought I was safe! Ha) adding insult to injury by saying he wanted to be a minimalist!
I made him come back & help me sort out the Stuff and we donated, recycled & chucked so much of the so called Bargains, it makes me a little sick now to think of all that money wasted, but I had to pare down & move somewhere smaller, 3 rooms not including a small kitchen & bathroom and I have a lodger to help pay the bills, as I still had 5 years left of the loan to pay & I didn’t want to get into even more debt! I know he finally got a loan & now is in even more trouble, where as I will be debt free by Dec 2013
As I’m an artist in my spare time, I have kept a lot of what people would say is unnecessary “stuff” but I enjoy turning it into art that some times sells, is given away in lieu of presents or props for our local productions. I get a buzz out of turning my Stuff into something useful, I try not to hoard too much, I have half of my living room as an artist studio.
I have many heirlooms which give me great pleasure (and I don’t worry too much about dust! Shock & horror I know!) As I’m now also disbaled I have found that what I do with those hours that are not resting or working my full time day job (boring but pays those bills) have become more precious so I do things that I love, house work not being one of those so I now afford a cleaner to help! Also not worrying about whether or not I’m living with 100 things or less is not a priority, I have no problem with those that do, in fact I admire them & love the simpleness of they’re homes & lives it’s just not for me at the moment, but I do sometimes take great tips from them which I do use, I’m a bit of a pick’N’mix minimalist & I believe that it’s not an all or nothing (excuse the pun) type of attitude. I hope as I use the stuff I have that I can be strong enough & not fill those empty spaces with more stuff!
Anyway cant believe I just wrote all that down but what I really wanted to say is I don’t view minimalist and living with enough & sorting yourself out financially as a one size fits all, to quote the life of brian “your all individuals” everyone has a different approach all with a similar goal & no one way is the right way, there are many paths to climb that mountain!
So keep those toys & enjoy them! seeya G
Minimalism and frugality, not the same thing. Can be related, but don’t have to be tied at the hip. I’ve written almost the same thing!
http://dogsordollars.com/2012/05/10/in-defense-of-stuff/
Love the bit about your father’s metal tractor. You’d still remember your father without it of course, but sometimes it is nice to have something with a memory attached.
Stuff becomes relevant to personal finance when you have enough of it that you need to buy more storage or a bigger house – especially if it is the kind for which you have little to no use. I have a friend who has maintained up to three storage units over the last 20 years because he could not get rid of it. He does not even live in the state where the units are located, not for the last 10 years, at least! That’s costing him at least $100 – $200 per month.
I agree with this. While I personally don’t like to live in (or even visit) a very cluttered living space, I still find myself boxing up/stuffing in closets/sometimes just stacking in corners of the office items that I don’t use. I’m somewhat frugal by habit, so I tend to save things for awhile, even though in reality I likely will never need them.
But I think in terms of finance, your ‘space’ example is what drives me. Over the years I’ve gotten more and more ruthless at editing myself, and I usually motivate myself by imagining that we are going to have to make a big move to a slightly smaller house. I do this about every other year, and it tends to keep the clutter from multiplying out of control.
The only major problem area is my husband’s work related equipment. MOST of it stays on campus property in a storage space, but a lot of it still ends up filling at least a third of our garage. With our second house, we have a practically empty garage that could also potentially be filled up. Thankfully, he’s made no move in that direction so far LOL.
We have a good friend who has a difficult time seeing anything go to ‘waste.’ He is mostly very frugal, except in one area: he wanted to build himself a very large (2,000 square foot x 2 floors) shop. He commented once that he probably had $5K worth of scrap wood stored in his new building, and he rarely has to buy anything b/c he already has stocks of items. I shot back that while that may be true, he has spent $80,000 to build something to hold $5,000 worth of ‘free’ materials! It would have been cheaper to go to the hardware store whenever he needed something!
And conversely, a space that looks cluttered (especially if it’s full of things in use, like children’s toys) can be very frugal, because it looks that way because it’s small.
My living room used to always be full of toys, and sometimes acquaintances would say they didn’t allow toys in the living room. I eventually found out most of the people who said that had separate “play rooms” in their homes – extra space we don’t have, or pay for.
I am not a minimalist either. It doesn’t mean I’m a hoarder by any means. I think I have a pretty normal amount of Stuff, but there is a lot of it I wouldn’t get rid of even though I don’t use it right now. My future kids will use some of my toys and stuffed animals from my childhood and I’m OK with that. Everything fits in my house fine and I don’t have a storage unit.
Decluttering your home is a dominant idea for many personal finance writers. It can make you feel inadequate if your house doesn’t look as bare as an art museum. Personally, I have bounced around from different homes my entire life, so I’m saving hard to buy (and decorate) my own house. Sometimes I feel a little defensive about my choices when so many bloggers talk about downsizing their homes to enable spending more on world travel, couch surfing, etc. It’s always good to have a reminder that everyone has different priorities.
This times a million. I am totally on board with only buying what you need. But maybe I need some gear for a hobby, or I’d like a nice frame for pictures taken on my last trip.
I get the war on “stuff.” I do. But having some so-called superfluous stuff isn’t the crime of the century, either.
The whole point of minimalism is to eliminate the stuff that doesn’t matter, to make room for the stuff that does.
Some gear for a hobby isn’t superfluous by any definition; it’s a part of your life.
It doesn’t become a problem until somebody says they have thirty hobbies, each with a huge stack of gear, none of which ever gets used. 🙂
For your comment, you have won…one free Internet!
I think “blogger envy” is a very real phenomenon. Looka this guy! He don’t do nothin’ but blog, an’ the money just rolls in, an’ he travels all over the place, an’ he don’t eat nothin’ but windfall fruit, an’ his house is a minimalist landscape of blank surfaces! (Except for a MacBook Air that sits on a table next to his only coffee mug [“But it’s a real good one! Cost $89!”], of course.)
People see that, and they want that, and it’s totally understandable. And they strive for a piece of it, and when starting a copycat blog doesn’t bring instant riches, they start throwing away everything they own to at least get the LOOK right.
I get the feeling that some people who were once extreme consumers of stuff have simply traded one obsession for another. They’ve gone from, “If I can just get one more ____, I’ll be whole” to, “If I can just get rid of one more possession, I’ll be whole.” I don’t particularly see the latter as healthier. Instead of filling their space with stuff, they’re filling it with a void.
I have a box. In that box is the entire run of “The Maxx” comic books. I do not USE these objects. They sit in a box. I “should” scan or photograph them, then sell them online so I can have an organic raw food budget for a couple weeks, but I refuse. Sure, I dig them out and read them all once every three or four years, but even if I didn’t, I would keep them. Why? Because I like them. I like having them. I “should” “let go” of them, so I can be more like [insert your favorite blogger here], but I don’t want to. I will live with the consequences.
And that’s all right. I’ve let go of plenty of objects. But I’m keeping my Maxx comics. And I’m okay with my “recording studio” (very loose term, there) being cluttered with picks and slides and cables like dumped spaghetti everywhere…it’s too hard to grow The Funk in a sterile environment.
I’m genuinely curious – if these comics are something that you really love, why do they spend their days sitting in a box?
Why not come up with a nice way to display them? I’d think you’d enjoy them even more that way. 🙂
Because a “nice way to display them” leaves them vulnerable to decay (light makes paper fade) and probably harder to read, when he wants to dig them out and read them.
Or perhaps he lives with another human. We have a lot of nice things packed away, so we can enjoy them when we want and the hordes of 2nd graders that run through our house every few days *can’t*. Comics are definitely in this category, especially comics that aren’t child-appropriate.
Seems to me that there is a middle ground. I spend a lot of time agonizing about my clutter, but I also realize that I do legitimately try to use most of it. In my eyes, if you use something, then it’s not a problem. The problem comes when you either buy more stuff to fill the voids or have so much stuff that you can’t actually use it all.
For example, my parents just moved into a big house a few years ago after living in a tiny rental and storing boxes. We’ve been going through boxes in their garage every time I visit. There have been some boxes that hadn’t been opened for quite awhile. Not just tiny house, or the house before that, but from 15+ years ago. On the bright side, pointing that out has enabled my mother to finally let go of a lot of stuff. Their new goal is to pare their belongings down. Not to some minimalist fancy, but to a reasonable amount of stuff that they will actually use. And then they’ll sell huge house and move into a space that fits their lifestyle better.
I don’t think belongings are the devil. For you, those items aren’t clutter; they have a use and a utility. Items only become clutter when they crowd our space and keep us from living better lives.
I think the point is that the average American (especially the average American with kids) has way too much freaking stuff. It is absurd. I really embrace simplicity and reigning in the “stuff.” I am not much of a sentimental type so I am not much to hold onto things in the past. But the truth is in the grand scheme of things we have far more “stuff” than our parents or grandparents had. Which is probably why I feel so motivated to keep it under control. IT started for me when I would be invited to friends’ houses for playdates. Most of them had very small homes. The toys exploding from every nook and cranny were absolutely absurd. So I would make a mental note to rebel against such insanity. But I am sure my kids have 10 more times than I did, even so. It’s just our house doesn’t look like a toy store like everyone else. All this to say that I truly do believe in moderation. But the less stuff we have to store, maintain and worry about and work for, the happier we are. I am sure there is a point where we could over-do it but we seem to be a LONG way from that point – I think most everyone would be unless they lived in a log cabin with no closets, basements and attics. 😉
On the totally flip side, I completely ignore the advice to toss things I haven’s used in a year. I think it is reasonable to keep useful things. Even clothes that don’t fit today, but will probably fit later. Within reason, of course. It means I keep a few favorite clothes that don’t fit at the moment – not that I hoarde every single item I ever bought because I might need it again. This is definitely where middle ground makes sense. I am not going to toss and re-buy something over and over because I use it less often than the stuff I use every day or every year.
Ah yes, the clothes dilemna! I also don’t like the toss-if-not-worn-in-a-year rule. It’s silly. However, I laughed at myself when I realized I had been grimly hanging on to a classy Gap skirt from 20 years ago, when I effortlessly maintained a waistline a couple inches smaller.
I loved the skirt, and it’s timeless, so I’d think…well surely I’ll get into awesome shape again sometime! But eventually, I had a year where I sort of accidentally regained my size zero college body and six pack abs and to my shock, age had changed my shape just enough that my waist was still about an inch too big to fit in that skirt!
So with much mourning, out it went. It was a wake up call for sure.
“Rules” like the “toss-it-if-you-haven’t-worn-it-in-a-year” rule, to me, are most useful when you’re intentionally trying to pare down stuff.
I’ve talked to many people with closets full of clothes. I even know one lady who dedicated a whole room to storing her clothes, because she gave up on trying to fit them into her closet.
To me, that’s excessive.
Those people probably need to downsize, and “if you haven’t worn it in a year, chuck it!” can be great advice.
But if you have a sensible amount of clothes, and you own a few Christmas sweaters, I can’t imagine disposing of them just because you didn’t wear them last Christmas.
And clothes of a different size? If you think you’re headed back to that size, just box them and tuck them away somewhere until you’re confident one way or the other.
Just be aware of what you own, and be aware of your ongoing cost of ownership. 🙂
I personally find that my definition of frugality is in contrast to an extreme minimalist view.
I would love to have a minimalist home and don’t have a lot of things I don’t use, but there is still some sentimental stuff knocking around and a LOT of “I will use this one day”. A lot of it is things like craft supplies and tools. I bet a lot of people get that.
Minimalists often spend BIG. They won’t buy lots of little things, but if they feel a vase or something will add that little touch of style they’ll happily pay hundreds of pounds for it, something that a truly frugal person would gape at!
I’ve also explored the concepts of minimalism vs. frugality in a blog post:
http://the-frugal-graduate.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/frugality-vs-minimalism.html
Frugal Down Under also posted today about how her Eco-Frugal ways make her feel that she SHOULDN’T throw anything away if not donateable, because it will end up in landfill.
http://frugaldownunder.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/clutter-issues.html
I think the minimalists who blog/write about minimalist style are maybe more likely to own expenses vases than the minimalists who are just minimalists. I’ve known a number of people who lived out of one or two suitcases all the time, and none of them had anything expensive, except musical instruments or sometimes computers/smartphones.
Try thinking of it this way. You can buy a set of 6 pots & pans at WalMart for $25. Those pans are going to be a bunch of cheap junk (on balance), they probably won’t cook your food well, and they’re going to wear out if you really try to use them.
I know people that have gone through a ton of those pans in their lifetimes.
Now consider buying one or two nicer pans for around $50. They’re well-made, the heavy bases help retain heat which helps you cook, and the finishes are more durable.
The person with the second set will probably have them last at least twice as long as the first, and they’re going to enjoy cooking more.
Who made the more frugal purchase?
I’d argue that the second person did, even though they had less pans total and spent more money, because they enjoy cooking more (which makes them less likely to want to go get fast food), their pans last longer (which means they don’t replace them as often), and they only have the pans they need (which means they’re using space efficiently).
All of those things are little pieces of the frugal puzzle.
Frugal is about so much more than money – frugality is about not wasting anything. And “anything” can be time, money, space, or any one of a dozen other things.
🙂
I struggle with this issue everyday.
🙂
It always weirds me out when people talk about decluttering books. Getting to one shelf, for example. My cookbooks don’t even fit on one shelf. And books stack so nicely and look so nice and are easy to dust. I just don’t get it.
Like the saying goes, a room without books is like a body without a soul.
When I got a Kindle, I was able to clear my bookshelves without guilt. Most of my books were in the public domain anyway, so I got digital versions free from Project Gutenberg. I hate the fetishization of printed books. To me it’s the words that matter, not the paper and binding.
Different strokes. I guess some people can say the same thing about people who “fetishize” all things electronic.
I personally don’t see anything wrong with decluttering books, especially if other people can use it. Books I purchased when I was 20 may not have much relevance to me now at 33. I no longer have use for certain cookbooks, especially baking cookbooks, because I no longer eat baked goods and so on.
I keep the classics, vintage books, books that have sentimental value to me, reference books, language, autographed books etc, but books I have zero use for must go. I still have about 150 books (down from about 300) so I really needed to declutter that given I don’t have much space to begin with.
I love owning books, and we have three 6 foot shelves devoted to them. However, I do think it can get seriously out of control, and my bibliophilia (which makes me want to own books rather than borrow them from a library) wars with the fact that books are heavy, with a big carbon footprint. I used to buy a lot used, but that isn’t an option in my current city. So now I listen to a lot of books on audio free from library, and try to weed out a dozen or two from my collection every other year (itemizing/charity year).
We actually built bookcases and made a point of filling them with our combined libraries because I wanted to be sure the kids would have books available if they got bored (so they wouldn’t just always automatically gravitate to video and computer activities). I can be minimal about books because the public library is a big part of my life, but to my dismay my teens are not interested in the library and I want them to see books as a central part of life and home. So we have all our books on display even though I would prefer not to. The kids still are very screen-oriented, but once in awhile someone pulls a book off a shelf.
My parents had a modest collection of books in our “library” — just a couple of shelves in the dining room. When I was a pre-teen and teenager though, I did go pull books down and read them. I read a whole bunch of Tom Clancy, Arthur C. Clarke, CS Lewis, and even “Behind the Arches”, a 500 page book on the history of McDonalds. Having good books in the home did make me learn to love reading.
This was pre-internet at our house. When we got internet in 1999 or 2000, I got kind of addicted to computers. I’m now a programmer, and frequently spend 12+ hours a day on computers with work and play.
My ability to read on screens is kind of broken. If the eDevice has internet, I end up surfing. When I want to read a book, I have to have a paper copy.
Out of curiosity, how many of those cookbooks do you actually use?
I know a bunch of people who have cookbooks and never crack them open, ever.
I can tell you that I used to have 48 shelf-feet of books (8′ shelves, six shelves tall). I’ve gotten rid about 90% of those books, because I absolutely hated moving them.
I can say, in all honesty, that I don’t miss them. Any of them. I didn’t read them when I had them; I just had to cart them around every time I moved.
And what’s the point of spending time and energy taking care of something you never use?
This is one of the issues where there is a broad middle ground. Some frugal people do have the space (perhaps they live in the country) to save things for when they might need them. Obviously, if you are accumulating so much stuff that you can’t find things or have to pay for extra space, it is costing you and thus a personal finance topic, but anything less than that is just personal preference.
And what are we building a strong financial base for? So that we can do the things we enjoy. If you enjoy decorative objects on your mantel, who cares? If you’ve got a cabinet full of interesting spices for cooking, enjoy. If you love having a wall filled with bookshelves and a personal library, go for it.
Exactly!
The only caveat I’d introduce is “things we enjoy” should actually mean “things we enjoy”. Lots of people accumulate things that other people *expect* them to enjoy.
In your example, if you derive enough enjoyment from the stuff on your mantel that you believe it’s worth the effort (dusting, polishing, etc.) to keep it looking nice, more power to you.
But if you’re doing that because you think that’s what “you’re supposed to do”, you’re not living your life – you’re living somebody else’s.
And that’s really the key to minimalism and simple living – living your own life.
This post resonates with me as I sit in my home office which is in need of some serious de-cluttering at the moment. For me it comes back to that oft overused word balance. I am a sentimentalist and the beautiful drawing of my 28 year old great-granmother in an ornate wooden frame is an example of something I would grab as I was fleeing from a fire. As I look around though the majority of items would never make the cut. I think it is about the art of curation and what is truly meaningful to your life. I have been working through my stuff gradually and what goes are the things that are not even going to be missed and stuff that I have kept for the sake of keeping. It has freed up space to showcase the truly important items and let them shine.
Overall, the tone of your post is right on because ultimately it is about how you want to live your life and what is important to you.
If you want a cluttered house, have a cluttered house. And if you want to raise your child with piles of toys, you’re obviously free to do so.
But don’t blame this on some “phase” or “stage that I must embrace.” That’s not true. I know lots of parents who consciously limit their children’s toys to what can fit into a specific box or drawer, which often is very small. And the kids don’t care – they entertain themselves just as happily with a handful of toys as kids do who have rooms full. In fact, there’s some researching showing that the piles of crap we buy for babies and kids overwhelm them, too, and contributes to ADD and other childhood problems. Minimalist kids are sometimes more creative and less stressed, and research shows this. I also know plenty of parents who require and enforce that their kids clean up whenever they are done playing. You’ve chosen to allow mess and clutter.
I don’t think it’s always as easy as you’re making it sound. My kids are ages 3 and 1 and I have only bought them a handful of toys in their lives. For their birthdays, I put money in their college funds instead of buying them items that they don’t need. Despite my efforts, they still have an overwhelming amount of toys that they have gotten for birthdays, Christmas, etc. We have a big family on both sides and they are constantly given things. I go through them and give the ones they outgrow to Goodwill a couple of times a month, but it always seems that they are getting new toys faster then I can clear them out.
I have even told family members to please not buy them anything and put money in their 529 plans in lieu of a gift. Sometimes people don’t listen! I even have a few boxes unopened toys that I snuck away before my kids remembered them. Last year I gave at least 10 unopened toys to a Christmas toy drive.
I just wish that our culture wasn’t so gift driven. I agree that kids only need a few toys- it’s crazy!
Yeah, I gave up and admitted there is nothing I can do about the gifts, short of cutting my kids grandparents out of his life.
And screw people who tell me I’m doing it wrong. I used to let them feel bad, but seriously: am I going to have a knock down drag out with my mother-in-law over her haul of dollar store toys for kiddo?
I’m with Holly. I have been blessed to have a generous family who want to give books, gifts, etc., to my two small children. The problem is that we have a small house and have to be so careful with what comes in and what comes out.
You have a choice in all of this, and if your home is too cluttered for you, it’s your fault – be the adult and change the situation if you want. Yes, kids are inundated with toys by all sorts of people in their lives. You often can’t control what others give or how much they give. But you can control what stays in your home. Whenever my kids receive a new toy, they have to choose one other toy to donate. They don’t mind this because they are used to it and because they’ve been taught that giving to charity is fun and exciting. (Or sometimes they want to give the new items to charity because they don’t love it and/or they’ve volunteered at the shelter and want the kids there to have something nice.)
You aren’t a victim to your kid’s stuff. If you want less stuff in your home or if you want your kids to be less consumer-oriented, you have the power to make that happen.
I don’t feel like a victim to my kid’s toys at all. Thankfully, they have a play room and when I get tired of looking at it all I just shut the door.
I definitely try to send toys out the door as fast or faster then they come in, but it isn’t always possible. And really, I would rather spend my time playing with my kids or relaxing with my husband instead of obsessing over my kid’s toys.
I think that the point that the original poster is trying to make is that just because toys or clutter bother one person does not mean that it bothers everyone. I personally have very few items at all. I don’t collect anything and have very minimal home decor items. But I have play food and kids books out the wazoo. At the end of the day, I guess I really just don’t care.
My house isn’t too cluttered for ME, it’s too cluttered for certain judgemental folks who are no longer welcome here. There’s a difference.
My house is cluttered and it bis a never ending battle as I have an ADHD brain. The clutter issue is a financial one not because it shows a lack of control in your home/life, but because you end up buying duplicates and triplicates of things you already have because can’t find them. I have saved money, by stopping myself from buying things without a list, and doublechecking my list against storage spaces before I buy.
For me, the important connection between pf and clutter is that often we’ve spent money to purchase the items which became ‘clutter’.
If there are toys all over the floor, how much did you decide to spend on those toys?
For me, I used to buy lots of books. Once I filled five bookcases, it was pretty obvious that I needed to give some away/sell some if I wanted to purchase additional. Now I’m more careful about which books I purchase and which I pick up at the library. Less clutter and more money.
So it’s mostly the conscious spending thing. Will this item become clutter in 6 months? or will I continue to enjoy it (in which case it isn’t really clutter to me).
Nice to hear an opposing view! Although I believe in a minamalist life style when it comes to finances and the home, having clutter isn’t always a reflection of your finances. If you saw my daughters room you might think my finances are a mess but with four grandma’s and many Aunts and Uncles, I hardly buy her more than her daily meals!
Clutter isn’t about frugality (or the lack thereof); it’s about anxiety and low self-esteem. People surround themselves with things to make themselves feel better. But it doesn’t work, so they just keep getting more and more stuff, which doesn’t help at all – especially if they then start feeling guilty for having too much stuff, but incapable of getting rid of it. Getting rid of clutter, therefore, is not about frugality either; it’s about freedom. And peace of mind.
Umm. But what if we buy stuff we like, and use the stuff we buy and like it around our houses. your clutter is probably my very comfortable home. why then should I get rid of things I like and use. Because someone else considers it clutter? I have dishes for Christmas, easter, fall and am working on the fourth of july. I can afford them all, have a place for them all and use em every year.
I personally am somewhat of a minimalist, but it is an entirely different story when it comes to my kid’s toys. I can easily get rid of mine or my husband’s items without any guilt, but throwing away my kids toys would be somewhat cruel! As they outgrow them, I give them away ASAP but I don’t want to downsize their “stuff” that they are still playing with!
I have several storage boxes for their toys in our great room and in their play room- but their toys are rarely in their places. Even though I picked everything up yesterday, it is all over the place already. At this point, I just try to overlook it. It’s definitely a losing battle.
I completely sympathize with you here. I have a set amount of space for my kid’s toys. I try very hard to only get toys that will have a long life span (rather than something they will tire of and/or break within a week), give away extras, and to limit toys at gift-giving occasions. However, it still seems like they multiply on their own.
In the end, I’ve ended up emphasizing to relatives that we really only need/want books and clothes. Some of them don’t listen and give toys, but it makes things easier to manage. If we get too many books, we list them on amazon or we donate them to the library. If we end up with a few more clothes than we need, then they’re often in good enough shape to sell at kid’s consignment sales.
I have a problem throwing things away – cards are the worst. I have boxes and boxes of cards from birthdays, Christmas, etc. I realize that this is how clutter starts. How my parents, grandparents, aunts uncles. . . have a basement FULL of stuff. I don’t like throwing things out, but I also really don’t like stuff. Luckily my partner helps me. If there’s somethig I know I’ll never use/won’t look at again, I ask him to throw it out. It might sound ridiculous, but I can’t bare to actually throw the thing out, but I can let it be gotten rid of. So I do.
I think level of clutter is a personal preference thing; for me, personally, I’m much calmer when my space is ‘calm’. So I bite the bullet and get rid of the cards (insert whatever your vice is) as having them multiplying in a box somewhere eats at my psyche.
I’m with you on the cards. That is one thing I have a very hard time throwing away. Every now & then, I come across a card from my now deceased grandmother, and I love that!
Once, when my husband and I had been married for about 5 years, I came across a stack of cards from our wedding. Tucked inside one of them was a $50 bill that we forgot about! (Honeymoons have that effect, I guess… ;))
Anyway, I mainly opened the stack of cards to re-read everyone’s kind words of encouragement and advice to us as newly-weds. Finding the $50 was an unexpected bonus.
🙂
On the card dilemma, I took cards that featured my grandmother’s handwriting, cut them up, collaged them with a picture of her in a frame, and hung it up.
I did something similar with my daugther’s cards that were given to me when she was born/at her baby shower. She now has a keepsake box collaged with them.
I still haven’t quite decided what to do with old Christmas cards, right now I have them on a string hanging as a banner/pennant type thing at the holidays.
@cincycat We got a ScanSnap an scanned all our old cards, storing them in a system like Evernote. (I’m on a Mac, and actually use something called EagleFiler, which is a local information/document archiving system.)
I know just what you mean about cards; they absolutely breed in my place if I’m not careful.
Are you aware of the St. Jude’s Ranch recycled card program? It doesn’t entirely solve my “what to do with the cards” dilemma, but it can lessen my sentimental guilt of parting with them. Other programs may also exist.
http://www.stjudesranch.org/shop/recycled-card-program/
This is an issue I’ve dealt with. I’ve worked on my own and with professionals, so I’ll try to share what I’ve learned.
Clutter vs. minimalism isn’t a helpful way of looking at it. Is the space functional is more important. And minimalist spaces can be as unfunctional as cluttered ones. Having an aversion to stuff and subjecting your children to it can be just as damaging as having them live in a hoarding situation. If your need for beauty is so great that you can’t make room in your home for things that the people who share it with you use and love, the problem is your perfectionism, not their clutter.
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy Frost and Gail Stekatee. They are both leading academics in the field, but the book is for the general reader. What I found most helpful about the book was the way it showed the hoarding impulse from the hoarder’s perspective. They like their stuff! It makes them happy! It may get out of control, but unless you acknowledge that the hoarding is more a coping mechanism than it is some huge personal weakness, you won’t be able to move beyond disgust. The Amazon page for the book does include their sample diagnostic pictures of ten levels of hoarding, which are good for getting some perspective.
I have often wondered about the bloggers who have half a dozen kids and claim to own only 100 items. Is that healthy for the kids? Just as I wouldn’t want to grow up with hoarder parents who had an unhealthy attachment to stuff, I wouldn’t want to grow up with minimalist parents who had an unhealthy detachment from stuff.
I think sometimes people use minimalism as a trophy: “I have only 100 items!” “Hoarder! I have only 15 items, HA!” I don’t believe in minimalism for the sake of minimalism. If you are joining the Peace Corps or traveling around the world with just a backpack, or you want to move to a tiny house or just cut down on your housework, I completely get that. But if you don’t feel any need to get rid of stuff, maybe you just don’t need to get rid of stuff.
Not only that, but if one more person tells me that the reason I have a set of dishes for each season is because I have low self esteem, I might puke. I have dishes for each season because I lke dishes, and searched them out. Nothing more, nothing less. The same reason I have a Department 56 collection of Christmas villiage big enough to deivide between my kids. Becasue I like it, dammit. Not because I want to impress someone.
I too hate the assumption that having things mean you’re trying to impress other people or keep up with the Joneses.
Barb –
Your comment really made me laugh. When we got married, we bought this HUGE collection of Christmas dishes. Because this company releases a new set every year, I felt the pressure to buy it all in one year. I wish I had thought about how much space they would take up in my basement and how freaking heavy they are. In hindsight I wish I had bought Corelle Christmas plates. They are compact, don’t chip, and are sooo light. Lesson learned.
But I am also judiciously acquiring some Christmas village stuff. I have such fond memories of my grandma’s set. I like the idea of such memories for my children and grandchildren. Of course, memories don’t always have to do with material things, but sometimes they can.
My late sister-in-law had decorations and dishes for nearly every single holiday. I loved it. While I don’t think that I will emulate that, I think it’s great for those who can afford it and enjoy it.
Barb,
I love your post! I get bored with the same-old, same-old very easily, and rotating dishes is a great idea! I already do this with my clothes, but it didn’t occur to me to do this with dishes (or bed linens, curtains, etc…). One reason I love packing up ALL of my clothes from a prior season & putting them out of sight is that it’s fun to pull the containers out & get a “new” wardrobe every few months.
I imagine that you’d save money over time, since you wouldn’t be continuously buying new. Eventually you’d get to a comfortable rotation, and you feel like you need a change, out comes the stash.
I also imagine the Stuff would last much longer since it is only being used for 3 or 4 months at a time…
🙂
I have a problem throwing things away – cards are the worst. I have boxes and boxes of cards from birthdays, Christmas, etc. I realize that this is how clutter starts. How my parents, grandparents, aunts uncles. . . have a basement FULL of stuff. I don’t like throwing things out, but I also really don’t like stuff. Luckily my partner helps me. If there’s somethig I know I’ll never use/won’t look at again, I ask him to throw it out. It might sound ridiculous, but I can’t bare to actually throw the thing out, but I can let it be gotten rid of. So I do.
I think level of clutter is a personal preference thing; for me, personally, I’m much calmer when my space is ‘calm’. So I bite the bullet and get rid of the cards (insert whatever your vice is) as having them multiplying in a box somewhere eats at my psyche.
And about clothes as clutter: I vascilate wildly on this. Sometimes I wish I were a fashion plate out of a magazine, right down to the accessories (talk about clutter!!). Other days – more days, definitely – I wish I was a cartoon character able to and accepted for wearing the same clothes every day. I’ve been pruning my wardrobe for the last few years to fit this ideal. Only buying truly good quality, timeless pieces, and getting rid of gobs of (for me) useless, boring pieces. I’ll wear the same four outfits for a year before a get a full wardrobe featuring cottons that don’t wash well. A way to control clutter, as I wonder where people who wear new outfits every day put all that clothing!
Chasa – I helped a friend with that. After her mother died, she found a ton of correspondence, as well as all the cards my friend had sent her over the years. It was way more than she could store in her apartment. I suggested she put off dealing with them until she found a box that honored them.
She found an old box of her mother’s, probably not something her mother would have though of as special, and kept only cards and letters that fit in that box. It sits on her bookshelf and she can pull it down and look through them whenever she wants. She has another box for letters people have sent her.
To be frank, our accumulation of stuff IS quite related to finances. Not every case, but how many people have bigger homes and storage spaces for all that stuff. I would wager most people (how many people have dining rooms that are almost never used for example). And of course how much money do we spend to buy, maintain, and dispose of those items? How much time do people trade for their stuff that keeps them from enjoying things that are more important to them?
This doesn’t even address how stuff affects us emotionally and attentionally. I don’t like extra stuff and it drains my energy and attention to maintain it. This interferes with my ability to focus on other goals, including financial ones like eating at home instead of getting takeout.
Housing is most people’s greatest expense, and some portion of housing is used for “stuff storage.” I think this should have been addressed while making the argument that minimalism is only an aesthetic choice. Reducing the necessary size of your home could save big, big money. (others, like EAP in #35, have mentioned this too).
But I’m glad to see this post and I bet lots of people identify with the direction you are advocating — I do, despite my above critique.
I disagree with some who have talked about the acquisition cost of stuff. I’ll just say that between craigslist free section, freecycle, listservs (esp. parent listservs), and friends and relatives, it would be easy to acquire a gigantic load of stuff without paying to acquire it, but paying dearly to store it.
Separately: I agree that minimalism isn’t most people’s desired aesthetic, and shouldn’t need to be. Somehow the big minimalists (“own only 100 things!”) remind me of calorie-obsessed dieters seeking total control, though I respect their choices to do what works for them.
I know there are people out there wasting money on stuff they don’t actually want, but we have more of a cost of getting rid of stuff than acquiring it. I don’t think we’re alone.
* we have to buy special bags and twine for yard waste
* construction debris can’t go in the regular trash, I have to get a permit and borrow a truck to haul it or hire a dumpster
* there is a constant influx of stuff from family to negotiate, including the lovely “if I stand up to my in-laws do I have to fight with my partner? Is it more or less important than fighting with them about vacations or child discipline? (and yesterday I got in a fight with my mother about how hurt my little brother is going to be when I tell him I won’t store his athletic gear…)
* our location (corner lot, busy street) means people dump stuff *they* don’t know how to get rid of here. I spend a few hours a year arguing with the city because someone dumped a couch or a stack of tires on our driveway after we left for the day but before trash pickup arrived, and I got a citation about it.
I am not looking forward to when I graduate- in the course of my 3 years at uni, I’ve moved 3 times into a beautiful empty, clutterfree space… and proceeded to fill each one with clutter that gets sent back to my (long suffering) parents’ house at the end of the academic year. I am going to have to have one hell of a clearout! However, going to university has helped me detatch myself from some of the clutter I accumulated in my teenage years, so I find it pretty easy to get rid of that.
I do use a lot of my clutter though. When I start a hobby I usually take it up for life, so it’s okay that I’ve got a ukulele, all my crochet/knitting stuff, boxes of fabric, paints etc. They eventually get used. Might be time to finally let go of the cello and rollerblades though. The streets of London are not smooth enough for those, and the cello is a fragile dead weight.
I really liked this post. I’m going to have trouble getting rid of those paint chipped trains too one day, and already plan to save them, along with the tracks and a lot of the favorite, favorite toys for the future generation. Buying my little guy books toys is something I really enjoy doing, and most of them, are bought at yard sales, or super deal sales, and I don’t buy junk. There’s nothing quite so cosy to me as playing a board game with him, watching him play endless superhero dress ups, or hunkering down with a hgue stack of books at bedtime. Our house might be messy, but it’s a stage I’m willing to have, because I’ll never get his (or his on the way brother’s) childhood back, and I’d rather he remembered he had tons of favorite books, and games that he play with for hours with his parents, or brother, then remember a lot of the things I did as a child, having a favorite toy, then one day, it was missing because a parent either sold it at a yard sale, or decided that I didn’t need it anymore, and threw it out. I had a lot of favorites go missing, because they didn’t want me to have too many toys, and even as an adult, I remember that feeling of loss. Now granted, I do purge toys, but usually we do it together, and I “buy” them from him, so he can put the money into his savings, but it’s very, very rare I just get rid of something. Toys are something they can get rid of when they choose to, when they get older. It will happen. Until then, that stack of legos on the sable is testament to an incredible imagination, and the superhero cape draped over the back of a chair reminds me of the fleeting wonder of childhood, where anything is possible, even superpowers, and I don’t want to make that innocence vanish any sooner than it has to.
it may be easier than you think, later on.
My mom saved a ridiculous number of things, and gave them all to me when I had a baby. I saved them, thinking she must want them back when we were done with them, since she saved them for 30 years.
Nope. She was totally surprised I tried to give her back the tiny outfits & baby room decor when we were done with them. Most of them have now been donated or tossed (they meant more to her than me, and she didn’t want them anymore.)
I think I see this more as I age. I used to visit my mom & mom-in-law thinking I’d never want my home to look so cluttered. Yet, here I am facing the empty nest & trying to decided to what to do with all the stuff from 25 yrs of marriage, raising children & inherited treasures from past generations. I can appreciate the clutter a little more now than I did when I was young.
So, I’m looking for a balance, trying to keep treasure that really do mean something to me, things that I use even though they’re old because I know my great grandmother used it as well, ect.
Knowing our limits & what we able to take care of is just as important as appreciating the things we have & letting go of the things that cause too much chaos for us.
Reading both the comments and the article, I think we’ve lost sight of the main point of the whole de-cluttering message. Just as Get Rich Slowly is about taking control of what’s going on in your wallet; de-cluttering is about taking control of what’s going on in your house. Keeping a budget lets you know where your money is going; de-cluttering helps you take stock of what you have and what shape your things are in. It helps you get rid of duplicates, of things too beat up to be of any use, or that are no longer useful to you, and find the gaps you need to fill. In short, it helps you budget your stuff. It’s not about a zen-like living room with one lonely little vase on the mantlepiece, it’s about having a home that works, a place where you can lay your hand on what you need when you need it, and not be afraid to open a drawer or door for fear of what may be lurking in there. It’s about having what we need, as opposed to a houseful of stuff that oppresses you or stresses you out. If your father’s toy tractor sitting on the mantle makes you smile, then put it there and be proud. It has certainly passed the “smile test” (“If it’s going to stay, it should to be useful or make you smile”) with flying colors for 2 generations. In my book, it’s things like that that make a house a home. You can’t put a price on that.
EXCELLENT insight! Like X 1000.
This nailed it on the head!
This, right here.
Thanks everyone for your valuable input and for sharing your experiences with or without clutter.
I mainly wrote this piece as a counterpoint to the oft seen discussion of stuff as an inhibitor to financial success. It was not meant necessarily as a refutation of that argument but rather as another added perspective. Some of you rightly point out the financial hazard of buying or keeping a larger home to accommodate things. I am a strong advocate of smaller homes and apartments. But within those spaces, I think we have the right to fill or not fill our lives with things. Not all things are purchased by the individual who has them, so there’s not always a direct correlation between stuff and diminished bank accounts.
I also wanted to address Margot’s criticism of my post, namely that I appear to not take responsibility for the clutter or admit that it could be changed. She is certainly correct. But I might add that Holly’s comment would be identical to my own. If I look at the piles of toys in my house, the vast majority of those things were purchased by well- meaning grandparents. Somewhat ironically, I find this is the same generation that complains that “kids these days” have too many toys. I have certainly in the past tried to curb the gift giving, but I found it strained relationships. I made a conscious choice not to get stressed about it anymore. I don’t always succeed at this. My husband can attest that I usually have a freak out about two weeks before Christmas when I contemplate the toys that will enter my house shortly.
One more comment regarding the idea that we should save things “just in case.” I grew up in a house like that, and I often save things for undefinable reasons. This is a very frugal and green way to live. Sometimes that item is perfect and saves me money a year later. Sometimes it doesn’t and I ask myself why I saved it in the first place. But for my own sanity, once in a while I just have to purge that ribbon or that perfect sized box, even though I know it might come in handy in the future.
For me, my minimalism is mostly laziness. I hate spending my life messing with “stuff”….and that is the reason we don’t have a boat, a new computer every 2-3 years, an RV..etc. Worse, I go through cyclic (monthly) cycles where I want to do one of two things…watch Jane Austen movies and/or get rid of things. I also hate buying something that isn’t “perfect”…ie nonexistent….so buying new yoga clothes seems to take months, which irritates me, so I don’t like shopping. Yes, my house DOES look like Real Simple.
Apart from the fact the MY laziness does often prevent the house from looking like Real Simple, I am the same way. Clutter or too many possessions makes me anxious, so I have periodic semi hysterical desires to ‘just get rid of shit!’ Occasionally, I am later sorry, but mostly not.
I’ve been thinking about this topic recently and I think I’m at a comfortable place with the amount of things I own. We bought a house a few years ago from a family that owned it since the 40s, and the owner saved EVERYTHING. He kept the antique house in impeccable shape, and kept every screw, piece of hardware, just everything. He let nothing go to waste. My husband and I operate on the same principle. I have a bunch of odds and ends that end up being just the thing. We keep a jar of odd screws and unbent nails as we work on the house that keeps coming in really handy. I just finished reorganizing the basement, and I’m pleased with how much space we have down there.
When things out live their usefulness for us, I just find it a new home for it (as long as it’s not busted.) I’ve really just about stopped buying new things for the house now since there’s no need (sometimes there’s a desire, but it’s certainly not a need.) We have all the furniture we need (and that will fit comfortably.)
I think in the end its about finding the right balance in your household. Its when the scales tip in the wrong direction that people start feeling that their stuff is getting in their way and go on a decluttering frenzy.
I grew up without many of the things I needed, such as a winter coat that fit in Michigan winters. As I grew up, my parents began to hoard things. Cases of canned foods, broken furniture, sports memorabilia.
When my husband and I bought our home, he liked this one because it was the largest of the homes we had viewed. At 2000 sq ft, 4br and a 2 car garage, it had more space than we needed as newlyweds. Now that we’re on our third child, the size is almost right.
I’ve gone through vacillations of nearly hoarding versus minimalism. I had supplies for many kinds of crafts and way too many clothes for my kids that I bought secondhand.
Now I’m on a move toward right-size-ism. I have a better handle of how many outfits my kids need based on how often I tend to do the laundry. I have a better handle on how I spend my time so can gauge how much craft supplies I need on hand to get me through a few projects within a specified time period.
I know how often the sales cycle on our favorite foods, so I buy in bulk enough to last until the next rock bottom sale.
We’d like to move to a nicer neighborhood and into a slightly smaller home that is laid out better to how we live our daily lives.
I think there is a huge difference between clutter and stuff. I hate clutter, yet our home are a nice lived in look with personal things all around.
Our house is still a bit cluttered, but we plan to get rid of almost all of it when we move in 2 years. Then we can start fresh in the new place and hopefully not clutter it up. (Also, we will save a bundle on moving costs!)
Architectural porn such as Dwell and other magazines don’t feature empty tables and vast unlived spaces because they advocate a minimalist aesthetic– they do so because space equates wealth and ease. This is applicable to baroque decor or even”storage” spaces such as libraries (e.g., Downton Abbey). Roomy = wealthy, crammed = poor.
This applies even to the graphic space of advertisement– which is why the ads in, say, Forbes or The New Yorker offer wide expanses of nothingness, whereas the local Thrifty Nickel is jam-packed with tiny print.
Minimalism is perhaps poor people’s way to feel rich in their tiny spaces. Which is why yesterday I shipped away 4 boxes of non-reference books and today confined even more work tools to the storage locker.
I agree with Adriano that use is not clutter though.
I have been recommending the excellent book “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston for many years. It’s a nifty paperback that you can read in an afternoon. I used it to Feng Shui my living room and that created a more pleasant space for my home office.
I like clutter! Not true clutter, but stuff that I must have on hand which others might call clutter. Stuff that falls in the category of “I might need it someday” but like a fire extinguisher, when you need it you really need it.
As an electronics and physics geek I have parts, test instruments, odd pieces and parts from whereever. I never know when I’ll want a piece of plastic so thick, or some specialized op amp.
Also, as an artist, I keep odd things that others might think daft to keep. For example, one night I was visiting and came out to go home, and found one window of my car had been busted, apparently shot at by some drunkard with a rifle. I kept the bits of broken glass in a jar, because I thought it would be interesting to embed small lights in it and study it, maybe photograph it, as a source of ideas for abstract paintings.
I have no idea what a normal person would think of someone who keeps a jar of broken glass, but that is just one odd thing you’ll find in a “typical” artist’s studio.
Unfortunately, life has worked out in a way that kept me moving almost every year or two. Sometimes I abandon stuff, figuring that with the new high-paying job or better living conditions, I’ll build up a new “junk box” but that never happens – it takes time to build up a nice collection of odds and ends.
Well, I hoist a beer in salute to all inventors and artists!
I really enjoyed reading this! I can sorta relate. I’ve always dreamed of a minimalist life, and it seems so “romantic” (if that’s the right word). Whenever I see a photo of Thoreau’s cabin I just sigh. However, I have too many things (and I love each and everyone of those things). I love decorating for the holiday, and having lots of books and magazines and lots of extra bedding and pillows.
However, I have become more savvy in ways to hide the clutter. Ways that include large armoires, pantries, underbed storage. I have the best of both worlds now. I get to keep my crap and still have that clean, minimalist look. Granted, I don’t have kids, but maybe put a pirate’s toy chest next to the mantle, on the floor, or something. I’ve learned that it’s just as easy (if not easier) to contain something than to leave it out.
Great job on the post, it was an enjoyable and relateable read!
I agree with the author that reducing clutter and minimizing the amount of stuff we have is independent from financial management. From my own personal experience, my wife and I certainly feel a lot calmer as we’ve reduced and minimized our own “stuff” over the past few years – and have tried to find some mechanisms for keeping it that way.
For example, I’ve decided that I certainly don’t need more than 10 t-shirts (somehow I’d collected probably a hundred of them over the years!), and so each time I get a new one, I have to get rid of an old one. Having only 10 t-shirts makes choosing one to wear a lot easier, too. 🙂
So while it’s unrelated to finance, I can certainly recommend at least trying a minimalist lifestyle for a while.
My husband could have written this article. We are going through this right now, trying to de-clutter our house. Ironically, the items my husband have do not signify typical materialism; they are toys his mother saved since childhood he now has passed onto our kids, paintings from his granmother or from his art school days, old VHS tapes, zines and comics that were traded, records gotten very cheap, his grandfather’s clothes, the list goes on. If I can look pass the mass of stuff, rather than being consumerist it is actually a sign of a sentimental mind, valuing tradition, and well-ordered to boot(who keeps track of their childhood toys or high school for 20-30 years?). All of the things cost very little or nothing when obtained, but they are emotional/memory lodestones. He also likes to collect random stuff (old pieces of metal, illustrated books, pieces of glass) for art “supplies”. I am trying to see through his eyes. I guess for me, clutter is good when it is inspiring or generates new things (hubby uses his book clippings, ads, labels, etc to make collages). It is too much when it prevents new activities (so much of the study space is taken up by books or an old broken computer, I have no workspace for my art. Unfortunately he thrives on stimuli (clutter) while I do not, so we will have to work to meet somewhere in the middle.
You just hit on something I was wondering while I read all these posts: namely, is our comfort with a ‘busy’ living space directly correlated with some personality element? I’m introverted and I have a tendecy to become controlling when I’m anxious. I find that pretty much all stimuli associated with other people (noise, city stuff, big groups,etc) is very tiring. A lot of stuff in my house distracts me and causes anxiety, too (although I actually don’t like ‘minimalist’ decor). However, I’m happy to be overwhelmed by stimuli associated with nature (for example, my garden is very free-form and natural, not orderly).
I wonder if artist types and extroverts tend to like more ‘busy’ spaces?
my husband is both an artist and an extrovert : )
Very interesting thought! I am also an introvert and bothered by too much stimuli (stuff). However, I also am not a fan of severe minimalism…
“If I can look pass the mass of stuff, rather than being consumerist it is actually a sign of a sentimental mind”
I also think you’ve hit on something very important here. I certainly consider myself sentimental, and it is an inherited quality. Slowly I am learning that I can still let things go. For instance, if I decide to give something of my grandmothers away , I intentionally think of all the other things that I still have to remember her by. Yes, I plan to give away that set of tea bag holders, but I still have that vase from her bedroom. Perhaps you could remind your husband of this when you are trying to purge? It has helped me immensely.
I have a hard time getting rid of my kids’ baby clothes. Only once so far have I regretted purging an article of their clothing. It was this itty bitty pair of jeans that both my sons wore. I thought – they were worn and and the snaps weren’t as good as they once were. But when I saw it in the Goodwill bag as I was handing it over, I did have a twinge of sadness. I still think of those little jeans sometimes :(.
I am not a collector of stuff and letting go of my kid’s clothes was the hardest thing for me. Just seeing the little outfit reminded me of when they were little. I think I still have a few outfits (that will probably be motheaten if i hold onto them for my kid’s kids) but I’m not ready to let them go yet.
I had that same twinge when my husband put the worn out, milldew covered stroller from baby #1 by the curb, and not a minuite later, a nasty, scruffy looking man stopped and THREW it into the back of his truck. I told my husband never again, it gets put into a bag on the curb. Weird, because the rare time we don’t donate things, or sell them at a yard sale, I don’t have a problem putting them out by the curb for someone to take, but that stroller, even though it was of no use, was a little too emotional for me. The broken pack and play from a yard sale? Couldn’t care less, but that stroller…it was my like heart being ripped from my chest!!
Clothes, well, I’m about to use the clothes from baby #1 for baby #2, and since we are moving next summer, I plan to pare down, but still keep some in case of a baby #3, but I admit, I’ll keep my favorites, and the stuff that looks like new. It helps a lot of the stuff was already bought at yard sales, or I know will get covered in spit up, but I wish I hadn’t been given so many cute brand new outfits for baby #2!! No one did that for #1 and now I have all these adorable outfits that will get worn just a time or two!!
You might check, too, if you are ok with donating them, the high schools around here often ask for donations of baby clothes in good condition, so that’s where I plan to take a lot of mine that I can’t resell at my fall yard sale, stuff that I don’t want to keep because of wrong season, or just didn’t like the look/feel of (for some reason, terry cloth sleepers give me the heebie jeebies!!) I did that last year, blankets too, and they were so excited to have them.
I annually go through my home to declutter.It is a lot of work but so refreshing when it is done. This weekend I had a garage sale and many items on the curb for free. It’s amazing what others will take when it’s free. The remaining unsold items are bagged up for the Epilepsy Society to pick up on Tuesday. An old broken desk, dresser I no longer want, the old water heater that I replaced last month and a non-working television go later this week on a special trash pick-up. Outdated chemicals, fertilizers, batteries & light bulbs go the first Wednesday in September to the hazardous materials pick up. Oh, I almost forgot that my daughter hauled the old electronics to a recycling event on Saturday. I am happy for another year!
It’s been said before but I’ll say it again: it’s all about balance and priorities.
Minimalism and simple living has really struck a chord with me in my life and had made me reassess my priorities. Stuff isn’t everything. But that doesn’t mean I live with only 100 things. The biggest step is the realization of your priorities. After that, it’s much easier to amend your living area to follow that. I enjoy decluttering, so I’m always looking for things to get rid of that I no longer use. But I still fall in the trap of “but maybe someday…” I have to keep my perspective.
In relation to personal finance, it’s helped me a lot. Shopping is an old pastime, and I do it less now that I think about how many hours I have to work to pay for those adorable shoes, and how they don’t fit in with my ultimate goals of travel and having the kind of wedding I want.
Perspective, balance, and priorities.
Thank you for writing this. I enjoy reading minimalist sites as much as I do personal finance and the two can sometimes feel at odds. While my husband and I are minimal in most areas, my sewing hobby (sewing machine, dressform, cutting table, fabric) takes up more than 1/3 of the master bedroom, at least half my closet and part of his closet. That makes the minimalist in me anxious. But keeping the sewing stuff wins out, and my husband agrees. Creating sewn goods is the most calming thing I know. I work on a project everyday with little exception because it’s almost meditative. I don’t create a lot of things, but spend time on each piece so that the fit is perfect and the garment lasts. Of course, sewing appeals to my frugal side because I don’t ever shop for clothing, bedding, or purses.
Jane, Thanks for voicing the contrary opinion on this. Seems the personal finance blogs go a little too far in preaching against ‘stuff’ as if owning a few things will make you broke, means you’re a materialist consumed with buying or implies you aren’t frugal. A lot of people in my family have ‘pack rat’ tendencies (not to the level of hoarders) but they are quite frugal and doing fine financially.
My problem is I let clutter build up to a point where I can’t stand it anymore. This usually happens when I trip or knock over something for the umpteenth time in a row. Then Heaven help anything that gets in the way of the oncoming tirade! I toss, sell, donate, or give away tons of stuff in a blind effort to become organized. A week or so after the rampage subsides, I’ll wander out to the garage to grab a screw, only to realize I’ve thrown away my entire box of miscellaneous hardware–my go-to box for fix-it jobs that took a lifetime to accumulate! Among other items of value I’m too embarrassed to mention here. If I could just catch myself before I get that worked up, it would be half the battle right there. :/
I’m glad you wrote this. I love the minimalist aesthetic, but I realized long ago that I don’t live like that (and don’t want to). I admire the minimalist look, but I want to *live* in something cosy. I want to flop down on an overstuffed couch with big poufy armrests — big enough for me to use as a pillow or to let my legs dangle over — while I read one of my 1200+ hardcover/paperback books and snuggle under a throw blanket. I’ve been like this my whole life and I’m sure I’ll be like that even when I’m old and grey.
Do I have more than I “need” to live? You bet. I’m reminded of it every time I look at my closets, under my bed or in other storage spaces. But I also know that a lot of that “stuff” represents clothing that my fluctuating waistline makes likely I’ll need again, power cords that somehow rotate in and out of use, mementos of travels, etc. Some can be purged and periodically is recycled or donated, but a lot of it is just the record of my life.
I try to be as mindful of what I’m adding to my living space as I am to what I ultimately remove, but I don’t consider my “stuff” to be the roadblock to financial health.
My volume of stuff has been steadily declining since I first moved out of home… 7 moves in six years forces you to constantly ask yourself if an item is worth carting to your next place… but two things really lead to a large reduction in “stuff” – the parents selling our family home in the city and moving to a nearby town (really had to decide if things were worth moving all that way) and my time in America… I had two suitcases worth of stuff… some of it barely got used. The only thing I missed in that time was my sewing machine! So when I came back to Australia it was easy to de-clutter…
But I agree with the author, I don’t need or want to live in an all white empty space. I like being surrounded by things that are sentimental but there are limits.
Let’s not forget that keeping an immaculate home is also a status symbol. Keeping surfaces free of clutter takes time.
However, I can personally attest that my grocery bill has gone down significantly since I have started to store less food, generally buying simply what I need, when I need it. I was brought up with the freezer mentality, lots of things ready to just be thawed and eaten. Nowadays I have very few freezer items anymore. This, of course, only works because I have about 5 small grocery store/deli/bakeries within 2 blocks of my house. Yes, sometimes the loaf of bread costs 20% more than it would at the super immense supermarket, but I only buy a loaf when I am actually making sandwiches, instead of buying it because I may need it sometime this week.
I also agree with many commenters it is a matter of balance, and, unfortunately, analyzing how much something is worth involves so many factors it is hard to make the most rational decision, so we often end up being guided by our emotions–and thus going for stuff.
ya know what drives me nuts, Im a variety performer.
I was actually on the show, How Clean is Your House” and I was shanghaied. At the most, it’s clutter. But, I have a number of jobs.. and most of the jobs require a lot of props. NOTHING worse than throwing away a rubber chicken… only to get a call for a gig the next day, that requires a rubber chicken. I only wish I were joking.