While the contractors were working to replace the siding on our new home last summer, they discovered a termite infestation outside the bathroom.
Further investigation revealed that the floor under the tub was not only wet and damp, but had actually completely rotted. So, we hired somebody to repair the damage. On the first day he was here, I went into the bathroom barefoot. Oops. I stepped on a shard of glass tile. That splinter was stuck in my foot for weeks.
At first, it didn't really affect normal activity. If I wore sneakers and socks, I barely felt it. But if I wore sandals, I got a sharp stabbing pain in the side of my left foot. If I tried to run, the same thing happened. And forget about going to the gym!
Now, the obvious response here is, “Why didn't you remove the sliver from your foot?” Great question!
On the very first night, Kim did try to remove the sliver, and we thought she got it. But the next morning when I took Tally for a walk, I realized the sliver was still there. But I didn't do anything about it. I lived with it for weeks, a constant source of low-grade irritation.
This, my friends, is a perfect example of a couple of things.
- First, it's my family's mentality in action. For some stupid stupid reason, we Roths don't like dealing with medical issues. When we're sick, we suffer for days (or weeks) before going to a doctor. When we're hurt, we just suck it up. When I was young, my mother sprained her ankle. She limped around for months before seeking medical attention. In college, I broke a finger playing touch football over Thanksgiving. I dealt with the intense pain until Christmas break, at which time I finally decided to see a doctor.
- Second, this a perfect example of putting up with a problem instead of finding a solution. Most people — myself included — are willing to tolerate a great deal of dissatisfaction and discomfort before deciding to remedy whatever is wrong in their lives. I'm not sure why this is the case, but it's true.
With the glass shard in my foot, most of the time I barely noticed. But sometimes the pain was especially bad. I remember one morning while walking the dog, it felt like somebody was stabbing me with a needle. “I just need to solve the problem,” I thought to myself — and that reminded me of some wise advice I once received.
Just Solve the Problem
About a decade ago, I worked with a life coach. Each week, we'd have an hour-long phone conversation about the ways I was trying to become a better person. I made great progress in some areas, but little progress in others.
One day, we were talking about my inability to eat a healthy breakfast. I've always been the sort of guy who knows he should eat a nutritious breakfast but doesn't actually do so. My coach had been encouraging me to make this a habit in my life, but I kept complaining about all the reasons it wasn't possible. Eventually, she'd had enough.
“J.D., you're being ridiculous,” my coach said, exasperated. “This isn't rocket science. Millions of people eat a healthy breakfast every day. You can too. You need to stop making excuses. You need to identify the problem and solve the problem. Just solve the problem!” [Read more…]