What Marriage Has Taught Me About Money

This is a guest post from WC, a guy in Chicago that writes about money at The Writer's Coin.

In May, I will celebrate my two-year anniversary with M, my favorite person in the world. I thought I knew a lot about everything before we got married, but now I'm wiser. So for all the newlyweds out there, or the ones thinking of walking the plank getting married, here are some things you should know.

There is no I. Marriage is all about the “we”. It's not “your” money or “my” money, it's “our” money. It isn't your retirement, it's our retirement. It's not an easy concept to grasp, but you'd better adjust because when you get married you really don't have a choice. The sooner you accept it, the easier it will be. Don't fight it…As you'll see, this will become a recurring theme throughout your married life.

J.D.'s note: I so so so disagree with this. I believe that “I” does have a place in successful marriages, and that this first point is contradicted by W.C.'s next point. I think that when you're married, you're a team, but you're still two individual players, each with unique needs and skills. It's not some magical merging of minds and money. What do you think?

There is no “right” way to do things. When M and I got married, I checked my bank and credit card accounts every day. M did not — she just made sure there was always money left in her account at the end of the month. When I showed her my method, she was taken aback, but she saw some use to it.

So we found a middle ground: we sit down and run through our budget midway through the month and at the end. It gives us a checkup halfway through and then at the end we check to make sure we met all our goals. It's like a challenge and it works for us.

Maybe you use a fancy spreadsheet you run through every month that tells you exactly where your money is going. Or maybe you use Mint to track your spending. Or you might be one of those people that does it all in their head — no paper trail necessary.

Either way, it might be the way you do things, but that doesn't mean it'll be the way we do things. You will have to adjust and find a way of doing things that works for both of you.

Saving is saving, no matter how you do it. Being a big fan of I Will Teach You to Be Rich, I used to open multiple high yield savings account sub-accounts with specific names for whatever it was I was saving for. It's called targeted saving, and I thought it was a great idea.

If something unexpected happens, you take money out of the emergency fund and you still get to make your budget. It's all a psychological thing to keep you feeling like you're on track.

I showed M the system and she gave me a look: “What's the point? It's all the same amount of money either way.” She was right and I started to question how useful the whole system was. In the end, it didn't make the cut — we didn't find it useful enough for the time it took to set up. I thought it was a great idea, but M was right: it's still the same amount of money. End of discussion.

The important thing is that we were saving, regardless of how we did it.

Falling in love is good for the budget. It's called economies of shared living, and it means you'll spend less money when you split the cost with another person.

But you'll still need to set up a budget that works for the both of you.

I used to use my credit card for everything. It tracked all my spending and gave me some decent rewards. M, on the other hand, liked to have cash in hand. But I wanted to get her to budget, and my system of simply knowing how much you'd already spent (remember by daily checking of accounts?) just wasn't going to work for her.

But she felt the pressure to find a system that worked for her so we could meet our budget every month. And she did: the envelope system. She took out the money she had allotted for the week and then stopped spending if she ran out of money.

As for me, I still use my credit card like I did before. This was one thing we were able to keep individualized, which is important when you get married (we still have individual accounts outside of our joint account). With all the push to turn I into we, it's good to have your own things you can do how you want.

The important thing is that you have a budget in the first place.

Cooking together is a great idea. You get to spend time together, it's good for the budget, it's healthier, and it creates some equality in an area where traditionally it's one person doing all the cooking.

In most relationships, one person does all the cooking. Maybe you have an arrangement where the person that doesn't cook does the dishes to make up for it. That's fine — but I would recommend trying to spend a fair amount of time in the kitchen with your significant other.

It'll give you a good environment to work together towards a common goal — making a good meal. Things can get tense in the kitchen, but that's the whole point — you'll learn from it and when something more serious than overcooked lasagna happens, you'll have the tools to handle it.

Plus it's fun.

Communicate. Marriage isn't easy, especially when you're talking about money. But even if none of the other stuff I've mentioned clicks with you, then you should at least take one thing with you from this post: communication is key.

You might not track your money or save anything or cook together. But you better communicate or else your marriage is going to be a train wreck.

‘Til death. I've been married for just under two years, but I can still remember what it was like to deal with money on my own: You think you have all the answers and you treat everything the way a dictator would. You're never wrong and everyone else sucks.

Marriage has introduced democracy into my decision making and I'm grateful for it. It's made me smarter, wiser, and less of a jerk.

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Geek
Geek
10 years ago

I disagree that marriage is necessary to learn these lessons. I’ve been unmarried but in a steady relationship for about 7 years now, and I learn most of the same.

We’re both employed though, at jobs that pay comprably, so there’s a lot less “we” about the money than indicated here. I think it depends (to answer JD) on how much each of you earn, and if there is a breadwinner. If there is just one breadwinner, it is “our” money for sure, otherwise the lower/non-earner will earn the resentment of the high earner.

Cely
Cely
10 years ago

I really like seeing posts about money and relationships, whether those relationships are romantic or familial. So much of the way we relate to money is emotional, so when money and relationships collide, it’s fertile ground for conflict and discussion.

Keep ’em coming!

Aleks
Aleks
10 years ago

I don’t want to be a dick, but the line “I’ve been married for just under two years” kind of undermines everything else that’s said. Maybe this stuff works and helps solidify a marriage, and maybe in another few years they’ll get divorced because of money. I’d much rather hear from a couple who have been married for 20 years and lived through various life changes like having kids, buying a house, dealing with job loss or changing careers. That would give me more confidence that the advice actually works. Also, the first and last points are potentially dangerous in… Read more »

Shannon
Shannon
10 years ago

JD I disagree with you and which is why I never understand couples who have separate finances. It just seems to me if you’re always separately accounting for each person’s contribution to a meal, rent, vacation etc, it really takes away from the ‘jointness’ of a couple’s present and future (for instance each individual doing their own retirement planning). And how do you account for a situation where one spouse makes significantly more than the other spouse – does their share of the expenditures increase just because they make more? That doesn’t seem “fair.”

Moneymonk
Moneymonk
10 years ago

I agree. I’m one of those people that believe in separate financies. Everyone needs a little mad money!

ami | 40daystochange
ami | 40daystochange
10 years ago

JD I’m w/Shannon #4 on this one. I remember when my husband and I moved in together. I had furniture, he did not – and, in the beginning of our marriage, I made money and he did not. One day he asked if I’d rather use the top set of drawers in my bureau or the bottom set. Share my drawer space??? How dare he? It was one of the toughest transitions into marriage that I encountered. 🙂 Silly as it sounds, sharing drawer space in my bureau was a metaphor for sharing finances. Once I got past the idea… Read more »

Kat
Kat
10 years ago

I think that there is some truth to there not being an “I” in marriage as far as money goes. You may have separate accounts, but if your spouse got laid off, and couldn’t pay his share of the rent, would you kick him out and have him live in a box on the streets? If your spouse got a huge bonus, and wanted to use it to take a dream vacation, would you be okay if she didn’t buy you a plane ticket when you couldn’t afford to buy your own? If one spouse is a huge saver and… Read more »

Brian
Brian
10 years ago

There certainly is room for “I” in marriage, and I also agree that it is good to each have money to draw on in a personal account. However, wouldn’t retirement be difficult without joint finances? I can easily see a situation where one person has saved significantly more than the other and there is resentment in retirement because one person is living on the other person’s savings. Keeping finances separate seems to me like planning to fail. Yes it makes it easier when a couple separates, but since when has that been a goal in a marriage? In the end… Read more »

mike
mike
10 years ago

My wife’s an at-home mom. If there was an “I” in our marriage, she’d be SOL (strictly outta luck). As it stands now, as we approach our Seven Year Itch anniversary in May, she manages our food, entertainment and clothing budget using a Dave Ramsey style envelop system. This way, we can easily track how much we’re spending in those departments and she doesn’t need my “approval/concurrence” to spend as she sees fit. I pay the bills for utilities, mortgage, and other regular monthly expenses, because these are routine things that I can basically predict every month. At the end… Read more »

Aaron
Aaron
10 years ago

I agree with #2Cely about seeing more posts about money and relationships, which I find very useful. Maybe you can feature more guest posts on this issue, I wouldn’t be turned off by that as much as I am by ‘normal’ guest posts. I disagree with #3Aleks though. At first I thought “yeah, what does this guy know”. But being close to getting married myself, I realized that he might have a different perspective, since he went through this process more recently, than say someone who transitioned 10 or 20 years ago. I think thoughts on this issue from the… Read more »

Steven
Steven
10 years ago

I agree with several of the posts above. JD, you may think there is a lot of “I” because you and Kris have seperate accounts BUT two “I”‘s cannot function for long in a marriage. If Kris has expensive surgery that drains “her” account are “you” going to leave her out in the cold? I would hope not. Same goes for any of the type of unexpected debt or even the possibility of a layoff. In our household, “I” handle all the finances, so I could take credit for the accounts being mine although it is technically “ours.” My wife… Read more »

Steven
Steven
10 years ago

On an additional note: I do agree with the uniqueness in talents and abilities that a spouse brings to the marriage. Hopefully, the goal of those talents are to better then marriage (we).

Budgeting in the Fun Stuff
Budgeting in the Fun Stuff
10 years ago

My husband and I became a set when we married. For financial stuff, it’s “our” finances. We each get our own “fun” money but everything else is joint. We come to mutual decisions and compromises, but it’s still “our” system. For friends, hobbies, personal values, etc, it’s individual (we do have some of the same friends, hobbies, and personal values but you get the point). For money, it’s a joint thing or we’d go nuts trying to split everything down the middle. If we ever get a divorce, we’ll worry about a split then. As of now, we plan for… Read more »

Nicole
Nicole
10 years ago

enh I liked the recent article by JD on factors to consider when thinking about merging (or not merging) accounts so much better than this one. It was really thoughtful and I loved how it got into the different aspects of two people’s union that might make one system better than the other. Not only is there not a one-size-fits-all, but there are suggestions on what aspects help for a better fit. Very thought provoking. And it totally made sense, if you both have about equivalent separate incomes, different money styles, and are both ok handling finances, why not have… Read more »

Ely
Ely
10 years ago

JD you are my hero and I 100% agree with you. The folks who hate separate finances seem to be strangers to the concept of sharing and compromise. You can’t buy groceries without joint finances?? We don’t divide everything up like roommates! If he loses his job I can support us – though he would have to give up some things, same as in any relationship where one person has greater “wants” than the other. We have a balance that works for us and it HAPPENS to involve separate finances. Enough with the judgement already. I will also add, in… Read more »

Angel
Angel
10 years ago

Having only been married for a year, but living together and sharing expenses for three, I’m closer in circumstances to the writer. After we were married, my husband and I did create a joint checking account, as well as a joint savings account. We planned out our monthly budget for bills, and deposit money into the checking account on a monthly basis to cover those needs. We also both make monthly contributions to our joint savings account because we’re saving for a house. Having said that, we both still have our own personal checking and savings accounts, retirement funds and… Read more »

shash
shash
10 years ago

“Falling in love is good for the budget. It’s called economies of shared living, and it means you’ll spend less money when you split the cost with another person.” No kidding. Now all I have to do is find Mr. Wonderful. Suggestions? On a more serious note (although I’m serious about the above too), when the shared cost/shared support mechanism kicks in, it can be incredibly beneficial to both parties. However, that is not something I hear a lot about (excluding this site– where J.D. has made it a point of discussion in various posts). As a single person, I… Read more »

Ashly
Ashly
10 years ago

I don’t usually comment, but a few things strike me here — 1) someone with 2 years marrige experience certainly has something to offer someone who is engaged or newlywed. I agree a different perspective could be gained from someone who has been married for 20 years, but that doesn’t belittle what the poster writes. My husband came a long way financially in our first 2 years and I wish someone had told me what I know now many years earlier. 2) Just because you have combined finances doesn’t mean you can’t have mad money, it just needs to be… Read more »

Ron
Ron
10 years ago

We’ve been married 20 years and have ALWAYS merged everything. We’ve been through some very rough times together, including having to pawn her deceased mother’s jewelry just to have gas money to drive home. We sold my antique Martin guitar that was a gift from my parents just to have enough money to pay our deposit on an apartment.

I’m a proponent of merging your money. It all depends on your commitment to each other. If we had done otherwise, I think we would have regretted it.

Brenda
Brenda
10 years ago

I’m with Aleks (comment #3). While this article is nice and all in theory, there’s just no experience to back it. Everyone knows the divorce rate is around 50%. Many couples do manage to make it for 2 years but end up failing a few years later. It’s so much rarer to find a couple that’s been married for 20 years or more. I’d MUCH rather hear from someone who has been successfully married for at least 20 years and see how they’ve handled issues like money in the marriage. Hey Ron, (comment #16), why don’t YOU write an article?… Read more »

chacha1
chacha1
10 years ago

I think some people deliberately misconstrue when JD writes about his and Kris’ separate finances. As Ely says, just because you have separate finances (and typically, this just means you each have your own bank accounts; it doesn’t mean you’re like Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter, living next door to each other in separate houses) doesn’t mean you divide everything up obsessively as if you’re roommates who don’t like each other. Mates, whether married or not, are a team and work things out accordingly. Someone is ALWAYS contributing more financially, and someone is ALWAYS contributing more in other ways.… Read more »

Not My Mother
Not My Mother
10 years ago

JD, I do not understand why you disagree so strongly with WC’s first point. He’s not saying you are no longer two individuals with different skills and minds, he’s saying that you are now a team and things like retirement and saving for houses etc should be shared goals. Take your situation with your separate finances, where Kris was saving so much of her money when you were heavily in debt. What was she going to do when you got to retirement age and you didn’t have enough? Say “sorry, I’m set” and leave you to stew? What would you… Read more »

KM @ Long-Distance Life blog
KM @ Long-Distance Life blog
10 years ago

“Falling in love is good for the budget.”

Not necessarily. When you’re single and in the mood to go catch a movie, you pay the price of one ticket. Going to the movies as a couple doubles that cost, while you might not have double the income.

You’re sharing expenses such as utilities, but you can get that same effect from a roommate.

Maybe you go out less if you’re a couple. Or maybe it’s a huge source of “peer pressure” to spend if your partner loves to shop.

Amanda
Amanda
10 years ago

I agree about the targeted savings. I read Ramit’s post about it and at first thought it was a great idea. However, as I got ready to actually do it, I thought what’s the point exactly?? I think much of the advice is really only for people who have difficulty saving. If you are a skilled saver, then it really is just one pot of money at the end of the month.

Cely
Cely
10 years ago

Most of the comments seem to be about savings and earnings. But what about debt? If you get married, and your partner runs up $10K of credit card debt (known to you or not), then dies, you are responsible for that debt, correct?

It seems like there are plenty of stories about hidden debts in marriages. How scary to only learn of that debt when your spouse dies unexpectedly. No matter how much you keep finances separate, in some ways (beyond your control) they are merged.

(Correct me if I’m wrong on that — maybe it’s a state-by-state law?)

EK
EK
10 years ago

JD, I definitely agree with you on this one! When my husband and I were married, we made the decision to keep our checking account separate. I was – and still am! – absolutely taken aback at the dissaproval and outright venom we recieved from folks who had decided to merge finances! Many folks (I assume they were well-meaning) told us that our decision not to merge all of our accounts was a reflection of our lack of commitment to each other, a lack of trust, and our selfishness, and was a sign that the relationship would never work out.… Read more »

Chelsea
Chelsea
10 years ago

I have to add I agree with JD about separate accounts. Just because you have your own accounts doesn’t mean you consider things financially separate. It’s just about day to day management. All the money is in the same overall pool, for both of us to eventually retire on. Of course we would take care of each other if the other couldn’t work. But if you have different money management styles, sharing accounts could drive you both crazy. I don’t see anyone ever arguing about having money split for other reasons – ie. checking account, savings account, some CDs, some… Read more »

Shara
Shara
10 years ago

I do something similar to target savings, but with a different idea. Yeah, it’s all money but if the furnace goes out I am going to start cutting back on other expenses until the balance is back up. And how much am I spending on clothes anyway? I have buckets of money with different labels to keep tabs on individual costs (like clothing) as well as keep from worrying about covering every expense when everything hits me at once. I don’t think the comments about “there is no ‘I'” is intended as not having ANY autonomy or personal money, but… Read more »

Kat
Kat
10 years ago

Why does saying there is no “I” in marriage mean you cannot have separate accounts? The author even stated that in addition to their joint account, the couple has separate bank accounts! There is a difference between having separate accounts with full disclosure and discussion about where the family money goes (a team), and having separate accounts so you can have hidden debt or wealth (“I”). There is a difference in having joint accounts because you have shared goals (“team”), and having joint accounts because one person is taking and controlling all the money (“I”). Being a team means you… Read more »

mike
mike
10 years ago

@Cely (#22): I’m no attorney, but the only time that Person A’s debts carry to Person B after Person A’s death is when Person B is a co-signer on that debt. IMHO, it’s a bad idea to cosign on a debt for anyone, even a spouse. My wife has authorization to use my credit card, but is not a cosigner of the card (there is a difference – google it). As an authorized user, she has her own card with my card number and can use it freely, but she is not liable for repayment if I croak unexpectedly. The… Read more »

TosaJen
TosaJen
10 years ago

Good article about getting finances together and how to compromise, for those about to get married. I’d add, though, 16+ years later, that talking about life goals is the most important thing a couple can do before and during a marriage. The rest of the stuff is how to get there (or a close-enough approximation). Re: JD’s comment — there is definitely a place for “I”s in our household. However, with 2 kids and 16-years’ accumulation of shared assets (married and living in 2 community property states!), there’s a lot more “we” in most conversations than “I”. JD and Kris… Read more »

Mr. ToughMoneyLove
Mr. ToughMoneyLove
10 years ago

This topic has been beat to death on every blog I can think of. To me it comes down to whether you think of marriage as a spiritual connection – a joining of two at all levels of intimacy – or a civil union of two individuals. If the latter (which is most people), by all means maintain your separate finances and protect yourselves from each other, because there is a high probability you will probably need that protection when the relationship founders. If the former, challenge yourselves to operate as a single financial entity.

guinness416
guinness416
10 years ago

Surprise surprise, everyone thinks the way finances are managed in THEIR marriage is the best way! I do too, of course, and I think my roast potato technique is top notch too but none of you are married to me so that’s okay. I would reinforce the points above that separate chequing accounts are more of a day to day management thang, and not about splitting every last little expense to the dollar nor hiding paystubs under the mattress. And that there are about a zillion ways of having separate finances. Not that any of us are going to persuade… Read more »

Tyler Karaszewski
Tyler Karaszewski
10 years ago

I feel like I think about this subject so much differently than a lot of the people here. We’re married. We’re family. We share everything. The only things that are “mine” or “hers” are personal things that don’t share well. Our clothes are each of ours. The surfboards are mine, she’d never use them. The knitting stuff is hers, I’ll never use it. But if one or the other of us asked? Of course we’d each share. But then, I’m currently the sole breadwinner in our family, and I have no resentment about that. I don’t mind that I spend… Read more »

Chickybeth
Chickybeth
10 years ago

This was a horrible post, just awful. The only part I can even agree with this guy on is when he says “it is our retirement”. Everything else seems like trite bits of advice he’s read in Cosmo or something. Blech! I would like to read a good post about getting a non-saver to think about retirement. My husband won’t save a penny because his company no longer matches in a 401K. I have a ROTH, but I am thinking about long term and wondering what will happen if only I have saved? Any suggestions would be helpful but an… Read more »

Lindsay
Lindsay
10 years ago

JD, I think the first point about there being no “I” is correct when it comes to money. I know of two couples who think that there is an “I” when it comes to money and both of their marriages are train wrecks. In both of these relationships, there is disparate earnings. But I imagine that this kind of “what I earn is mine” attitude would be just as toxic even if a couple is earning high incomes at about the same level; it would just take longer to notice what a problem it is (it would come up during… Read more »

Chickybeth
Chickybeth
10 years ago

To Mike #30 (Re #25): The law is state-by-state but in Michigan (and California and other “community property” states) married persons are jointly liable for all debt incurred during the marriage.

Illinois has this law: “The Illinois Family Expense Act makes spouses jointly liable for “the expenses of the family and of the education of the children.” The law presumes that both spouses agree to pay for family expenses.”

If you are curious, just look up the law in your own state, but assume what you don’t know about your partner can potentially harm you.

lisa
lisa
10 years ago

Sixteen years ago when we got married, our finances went like this: We both had full-time jobs and joint accounts, he controlled all of the finances and paid all of the bills. I was able to shop for professional clothing without any problems. After having children, it is now like this: He works 2 jobs,I work part-time so I could watch the kids without putting them in daycare, he controls all of the finances and pays all of the bills, we have joint accounts and separate accounts. Why the changes? Well, once the kids came and the expenses grew, I… Read more »

Ken Siew
Ken Siew
10 years ago

I totally agree that saving is still saving no matter what. The sub-saving account method is helpful for me to keep track of where money goes to and I know exactly if I’m on track to have enough for my savings goals. Of course I could do it with a spreadsheet but I don’t want to think about that. And really, it’s mostly about psychology, if you have a lump sum of money that’s not really specified for a purpose, you’d tend to spend more of it. I love the idea about falling in love and sharing expenses with your… Read more »

SoldierGrrrl
SoldierGrrrl
10 years ago

I think it’s different for every family. Right now, since my husband is deployed, I manage all the money. (I’ll probably do it when I’m deployed too, since my husband isn’t that great at managing money.) He’s got a “mad money” account and if he spends that money on bonbons and bourbon, I don’t care. So, in that regard, we’re both together and apart. *shrug* What’s most important is that each family/couple/whatever finds what works for them.

Ken
Ken
10 years ago

I’m defintiely in the “our” money camp. However, some ‘fun money’ for each partner can certainly make the machine move more smoothly. Communication is defintely key issue. Decisions that are made together seldom come back to hurt the relationship.

LiveCheap.com
LiveCheap.com
10 years ago

#3 @Aleks, I hear what you are saying. 2 years with no kids and the newness still probably helps quite a bit. I would disagree that there is no “I” in marriage but when it comes to finances, I would agree. My wife and I have been together for nearly 19 years. I don’t think we are the poster children for great financial communication but we got to a system that has produced great results. One thing I can tell you is that if you are good about making and saving money, and living below your means, there really isn’t… Read more »

pb
pb
10 years ago

I have been married for 34 years to a wonderful man who sees absolutely no relationship between money and bills. It took me two years to realize this, and at that point I took over our finances pretty much completely. (I come from a family of economists.) As long as he has money for coffee, books, and music, he is happy. This has been quite a burden for me, but also easier in some ways. I have tried over the years to get him to pay some attention to our finances, but on two occasions he has literally gone to… Read more »

Fern Alix LaRocca CFP®
Fern Alix LaRocca CFP®
10 years ago

I have worked with couples around money issues and a common problem is they have a narrow view of spending, earning and saving. This easily leads to problems discussing finances. I lead them to a bigger vision that they both share- a house, a baby, a college education, an early retirement. When there are shared goals with a passion to make it happen– all of a sudden saving and discussing finances becomes easy.
Fern Alix LaRocca CFP®

Martin
Martin
10 years ago

I have to side with the other people who are saying that marriage requires shared finances. Sure, each individual should have their “fun money,” but those are just individual categories in a larger financial plan (unless you got a prenup). Marriage is communism. If you want to divorce yourself from Mother Russia, the judge isn’t going to care when you say “This military base is in my territory. This oilfield is also in my territory.” He’s not going to care whose bank account is in whose name. He’s not going to care whose name the house is in or whose… Read more »

The Skeptical Housewife
The Skeptical Housewife
10 years ago

I completely agree with #15 (Ely). And #32 (Mr. ToughMoneyLove), what a load of crap! Sheesh. I can’t imagine why anyone would think that separate accounts means splitting everything right down the middle, as someone else said, “like roommates who don’t like each other.” I wouldn’t mind having a joint account for some things, because my (already joint, but he’s never used it, just opened it for me) bank account is no-fee. However, he likes that he can go to an actual branch with his bank (I can’t). But having separate accounts works for us. I manage the money anyway,… Read more »

The Skeptical Housewife
The Skeptical Housewife
10 years ago

@Martin (#45):

Why do you assume that couples who keep separate bank accounts are “planning for the worst,” or that we don’t realize that marital assets are split 50/50 in the event of a divorce? Sometimes that’s just the way things work out. Not everything has to be that big of a deal. Sheesh.

Dustin | Engaged Marriage
Dustin | Engaged Marriage
10 years ago

I can’t believe I just got to this post in my reader! This is right up my alley as a marriage blogger and lover of all things personal finance. I have written a lot about these issues and lived even more in our nine years of marriage. I have to disagree with JD on the “separation of finances” issue. I believe strongly that marriage does mean that you become one in a spiritual sense, and I think this also applies to the way finances are handled. When you agree to spend your life with someone (your WHOLE life), a merging… Read more »

Andrea S.
Andrea S.
10 years ago

I’m in the “our money” camp, but I don’t think that has to mean you have to have a joint account. In the UK, linking with another person financially with a joint bank account or similar means that their finances will influence your credit score, so plenty of couples here where one partner has a bad score and one partner has a good score will keep separate bank accounts. However, I think there has to be a mentality of shared goals and indeed of a shared pot of money for the family (wherever that money happens to reside)- otherwise you… Read more »

Siebrie
Siebrie
10 years ago

“Falling in love is good for the budget. It’s called economies of shared living, and it means you’ll spend less money when you split the cost with another person.” Yeah, but only if you have 2 incomes. I’m the breadwinner, dh is SAHD/student and takes care of our dd. On my own, I would be happy in a studio, using public transport. With dh and dd we need a 2br apartment and a car. On my own, I would not ‘need’ cable tv, ipod, iphone, meat, chips, soda, which dh cannot live without 🙂 Together, we’re costing more than twice… Read more »

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