When I started high school, I intentionally made an effort to meet new people and to try new things.<\/p>\n
- \n
- I joined the business club.<\/li>\n
- I joined the drama club and the choir.<\/li>\n
- I wrote for the high-school newspaper.<\/li>\n
- I went out for soccer and for tennis.<\/li>\n
- I joined a church youth group.<\/li>\n
- I joined the computer club. (Heck, I was president<\/i> of the computer club.)<\/li>\n
- And so on.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Basically, I began to say \u201cyes\u201d to every opportunity that came along. I tried new things and then focused my energy on the things I enjoyed most, things like business classes and writing. I worked hard to become more involved with these activities. I edited the literary magazine, for instance, and took ninth place in the nation at Business Math.<\/p>\n
![\"You](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/7563900776_8f1f7b1144.jpg\")
\nThat’s me on the right, dressed up for a high school play.<\/i><\/div>\nThe bottom line is I looked at who I had been, didn’t like what I saw, and then made the decision to change.<\/b> At the age of fourteen, I underwent a personal transformation. As a result, life became more interesting and I became happier. Whereas a lot of people have bad memories of high school, I loved it. It was an amazing time in my life.<\/p>\n
After high school, I went to college. I graduated. I got married. I went to work for my father. I grew complacent with my life, and as I grew complacent, I gradually became unhappy again, just as I had been when I was a boy.<\/p>\n
By 2004, I had accumulated over $35,000 in consumer debt. But my debt wasn’t my only problem. My life was a mess. I was overweight, and had been for years. I hated my job. I wasted my free time watching TV and playing World of Warcraft. And I was beginning to realize that there might be problems with my marriage.<\/p>\n
<\/span>The Man I Want to Be<\/span><\/h2>\n
During the summer of 2004, my wife and I bought a new house. It was the home of our dreams: a century-old farmhouse on half an acre close to Portland. It seemed expensive, but the bank said we could afford it, and we believed them. Things became problematic, however, when we were forced to spend several thousand dollars making repairs.<\/p>\n
I felt overwhelmed. I was drowning in debt, and the expenses were flooding in. I’d been living paycheck-to-paycheck for more than a decade, just staying afloat as the water slowly rose around me. Now I felt myself sinking below the surface. I’d reached the end of my credit and the end of my cash.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, a friend threw me a life preserver. He noticed I was struggling with money, and he suggested I read a book about getting out of debt<\/a>. I read that book. And then I read another<\/a>. And another. Within a few months, I’d read a dozen books about personal finance<\/a>, and was starting to apply the lessons I’d learned to my own life. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I noticed an immediate change. I paid off a couple of debts. I felt better about money and I felt better about myself.<\/p>\n
In April of 2005, I wrote an article for my personal blog, an article I called “Get Rich Slowly”. It summarized all of the books I’d been reading about personal finance, and tried to explain what sorts of themes they had in common. For whatever reason, my little article on getting rich slowly attracted a lot of attention from around the web. It resonated with a lot of readers.<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/grsstuff.jpg\")
<\/div>\nA year later \u2014 on 15 April 2006 \u2014 I started a blog about money, a blog I called GetRichSlowly.org<\/a>. At the time, it just seemed like a simple way to make a few extra bucks. I figured maybe it’d help me pay off my debt a little more quickly.<\/p>\n
I had no idea what it would become.<\/p>\n
- \n
- Within a year, I was making as much money from Get Rich Slowly as I was from my day job.<\/li>\n
- Within eighteen months, I’d paid off all my debt<\/a>.<\/li>\n
- Within two years, I was able to quit my job<\/a> to blog full time.<\/li>\n
- And within three years, I was able to sell Get Rich Slowly<\/a> for a nice chunk of change.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
It took me three years of hard work, but that intense focus paid off. I’d dug myself out of debt and, in fact, had set aside a sizeable nest egg.<\/p>\n
<\/span>Who I Am Today<\/span><\/h2>\n
The thing is, it’s not just my financial life I turned around.<\/p>\n
After I paid off my debt, I began to wonder how I could apply the lessons I’d learned to other parts of my life. If I could transform my personal finances, could I transform my fitness? My personality? My relationships? Turns out, the answer is \u201cyes\u201d. In fact, it’s a resounding yes.<\/p>\n
Over the past few years, I’ve:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Paid off $35,000<\/a> in debt and built substantial savings.<\/li>\n
- Lost fifty pounds and kept it off while learning to lift heavy weights and run fast and jump far.<\/li>\n
- Traveled to fifteen countries on four continents.<\/a><\/li>\n
- Changed from being an introvert to being an extrovert.<\/li>\n
- Learned to speak Spanish.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
But the biggest change of all, and the most important one, is that today I’m happy. That’s probably the defining facet of my existence. A decade ago, I was unhappy. Even a year ago, I was unhappy. Not today. Sure, there are things I want to change, but have no doubt: I have an awesome life.<\/p>\n
I feel lucky. I feel blessed. I want others to feel this happy too.<\/b><\/p>\n
That’s enough background. You don’t care about my<\/i> life. What you want to know is how you<\/i> can apply this information to your life. How can you<\/i> get started with change? I believe it all begins by learning to say \u201cyes\u201d.<\/p>\n
<\/span>The Power of Yes<\/span><\/h2>\n
The first key to transforming your life is to be open to new experiences, to let your environment change you. But most of us are too complacent. Or we’re afraid to try new things. I know that was certainly true in my case.<\/p>\n
For much of my adult life, I was shackled by fear. This fear of failure<\/a> confined me to a narrow comfort zone. Then, five years ago, I read a book called Impro<\/i><\/a> by Keith Johnstone. It blew my mind.<\/p>\n
Impro is a book about stage-acting, about improvisational theater, the kind of stuff you used to see on the show Whose Line Is It Anyway?<\/i> I’m not an actor, nor do I want to become one. But several of the techniques the book describes are applicable to everyday life.<\/p>\n
I was particularly impressed by the need for improvisational actors to accept whatever is offered to them on stage. In order for a scene to flow, an actor has to accept whatever situation arises and just go with it. Here’s how the author explains it:<\/p>\n
Once you learn to accept offers, then accidents can no longer interrupt the action. […] This attitude makes for something really amazing in the theater. The actor who will accept anything that happens seems supernatural; it’s the most marvelous thing about improvisation: you are suddenly in contact with people who are unbounded, whose imagination seems to function without limit.<\/p>\n[…]\n
These \u2018Offer-block-accept’ games have a use quite apart from actor training. People with dull lives often think that their lives are dull by chance. In reality everyone chooses more or less what kind of events will happen to them by their conscious patterns of blocking and yielding.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/impro.jpg\" "\\"Impro")
<\/a>That passage had a profound effect on me. I thought about it for days. \u201cWhat if I did this in real life?\u201d I wondered. \u201cWhat if I accepted offers and stopped blocking them? Could this help me overcome my fears?\u201d I began to note the things that I blocked and accepted. To my surprise, I blocked things constantly \u2014 I made excuses not to do things because I was afraid of what might happen if I accepted.<\/p>\nI made a resolution. I decided that instead of saying \u201cno\u201d to things because I was afraid of them, I’d \u201cjust say yes\u201d. That became my working motto: \u201cJust say yes\u201d. Any time someone asked me to do something, I agreed (as long as it wasn’t illegal and didn’t violate my own personal code of conduct). I began to put this philosophy into practice in lots of little ways.<\/p>\n
Even to this day \u2014 five years after beginning the habit \u2014 I practice the power of yes<\/a>. For instance, during the past few weeks:<\/p>\n
- \n
- I shot a gun for the first time.<\/li>\n
- I tried Bikram yoga for the first time.<\/li>\n
- I began drinking beer for the first time in my life.<\/li>\n
- I madea presentation about personal finance to a group of migrant women. And I made the presentation in Spanish<\/i>.<\/li>\n
- And a couple of weeks ago, I sat on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Give me another couple of weeks, and I may actually ride one.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
![\"J.D.,](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/7563876484_9d31a1c5cb.jpg\")
\nJ.D. learns to shoot a rifle…<\/i><\/div>\nYes, these are small things. I know that. But, in time, small changes can become big changes. For instance, I’m hooked on the Bikram yoga. It might seem crazy, but I love sitting in a 105-degree room for 90 minutes at a time, sweating and stretching. I’m hooked. This feels like it could be a permanent part of my life.<\/p>\n
Plus, the power of \u201cyes\u201d has led me to make larger changes to my life too. It’s exposed me to things I never would have done before.<\/p>\n
- \n
- I wrote and published an actual book<\/a>.<\/li>\n
- I sold my website.<\/li>\n
- This fall, I’m traveling to Turkey. Next spring, I’ll head to Spain and Norway.<\/li>\n
- At last year’s World Domination Summit, I jumped out of an airplane<\/a>.<\/li>\n
- At this year’s World Domination Summit\u2026well, I’m up here on this stage talking to one thousand people. That’s huge<\/i> for me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
These things will seem minor to the natural extroverts here. But I’m not a natural extrovert. I’m an introvert. For me, these were big steps. These experiences were new, and I wouldn’t have had them if I hadn’t forced myself to just say yes.<\/p>\n
![\"J.D.](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/7562958830_7a4b5c981b.jpg\")
\nTaking the stage at World Domination Summit<\/i>
\n(Photo by Tera Wages<\/a>)<\/i><\/div>\nOvercoming Fear of Failure<\/h3>\n
Most of my experiences from the \u201cjust say yes\u201d campaign have been positive, but not all of them. I’ve had some failures, too. That’s okay: I’ve learned more from the bad experiences than from the good.<\/p>\n
A few years ago, for instance, a Seattle radio station asked me to do a telephone interview about retirement saving. \u201cI’m not a retirement expert,\u201d I told the woman who contacted me, but then I realized I was making excuses. I was blocking because I was scared. \u201cBut I’ll do it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Ultimately my radio appearance was a disaster. I got stage fright and became tongue-tied. I was like a deer in the headlights. But you know what? I don’t care. I failed, but at least I tried. After the interview, I e-mailed the woman to apologize and to ask for advice. She was sympathetic, and gave me some great pointers.<\/p>\n
Since then, I’ve done dozens of radio interviews. Each one has been better than the last. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was invited to do a ten minute interview with a station in San Antonio. The hosts kept me on for half an hour. After it was over, they e-mailed to see if I’d be willing to chat with them again in the future.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course,\u201d I said. After all, I’m all about saying yes.<\/p>\n
Of course, saying \u201cyes\u201d to so many things can create complications. For one, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. It’s easy to over-commit. Because of this, it’s important to balance your enthusiasm with a little bit of focus.<\/p>\n
<\/span>The Power of Focus<\/span><\/h2>\n
If personal transformation begins by being willing to try everything<\/i>, it’s put into practice by choosing to do almost nothing<\/i>.<\/p>\n
A few months ago, my Spanish tutor said something else that surprised me. We were talking about the books I’ve been reading and my plans for the coming months, including WDS. \u201cEres un mago del tiempo<\/i>,\u201d she told me. \u201cYou’re a magician of time.\u201d When I asked what she meant, she said that I seem to do so many things that it’s like I can create time out of thin air.<\/p>\n
Well, I can’t<\/i> create time, of course, as much as I wish it were true. Instead, I’ve learned the power of focus.<\/p>\n
HELL YEAH!<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n
On his blog, entrepreneur Derek Sivers once shared a great way to find focus<\/a>. Instead of committing yourself to everything, instead of agreeing to things that only half-way excite you, Sivers says you should either be so excited by something that it makes you say \u201cHELL YEAH!\u201d \u2014 or you should say \u201cno\u201d to it. When you say \u201cno\u201d to the things that don’t excite you, you leave lots of room in your life to passionately pursue the few things that make you go HELL YEAH!<\/p>\n
The power of yes works hand-in-hand with the HELL YEAH! philosophy. You cast a wide net by saying yes. By casting a wide net, you’ll catch a lot of stuff you don’t want to keep \u2014 but you’ll also catch a few HELL YEAHS.<\/p>\n
This is one of the secrets to personal fulfillment. There’s a great temptation to do it all. But you can’t do it all. You’re only human. You only have 24 hours in each day, just like the rest of us. Instead of trying to be all things to all people, find those few things you love and build your life around them. Maybe that’s your family, your friends, your blog, and your business. Maybe it’s travel and teaching. Or sports and speaking. Each of you has different passions. Your goal is to discover the things you love and to pursue these things above all else.<\/b><\/p>\n
One of the core concepts of my financial philosophy<\/a> is the notion of \u201cconscious spending<\/a>\u201d. When you practice conscious spending, you give yourself permission to buy the things you value, but you also agree to cut costs ruthlessly on the stuff that’s not important to you.<\/p>\n
For instance, I discovered that I like a certain type of physical fitness. I’m a fan of Crossfit. But attending a Crossfit gym isn’t cheap. Still, I budget $200 a month for my gym because it’s that important to me. In exchange, I don’t have a television; I don’t drive very often; and I buy a lot of my clothes at thrift stores. This is conscious spending: Giving up the small stuff so that you can afford the big stuff.<\/p>\n
![\"J.D.](\"https:\/\/www.getrichslowly.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/7346324876_71b73f4167.jpg\")
\nHard at work in my gym. Fitness is one of my Big Rocks.<\/i><\/div>\nWell, the same concept applies to your time. If you want to be happy, if you want to become a better person, then focus first on the parts of your life that are most important to you. Make these your priorities. Once you’ve scheduled the big things, fit the small things in \u2014 if you can.<\/p>\n
Think of it this way: Imagine you have a jar. You want to fill this jar with a bunch of big rocks and with some sand. How would you do it?<\/p>\n
One way is to put the sand in first and to add the rocks second. But if you did this, you’d quickly see that it’s impossible to make everything fit. With a layer of sand at the base of the jar, there’s no room for the big rocks.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, if you start by putting the big rocks in to the jar first, you can then pour the sand into the gaps and cracks. Everything fits.<\/p>\n
Do this with your life. Focus on your big rocks first.<\/b> Fit the small stuff in around them. For me, my big rocks are fitness, friends, writing, Spanish, and travel. These are my five big rocks. If these aren’t in my jar, I’m not happy. So, I make sure to squeeze these in before anything else. Once these rocks are in place, once these things are on my calendar, then<\/i> I fill the remaining space with the sand.<\/p>\n
- And a couple of weeks ago, I sat on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Give me another couple of weeks, and I may actually ride one.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Within two years, I was able to quit my job<\/a> to blog full time.<\/li>\n
- And so on.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n