This is a post from staff writer Robert Brokamp of The Motley Fool. Robert is a Certified Financial Planner and the adviser for The Motley Fool’s Rule Your Retirement service. He contributes one new article to Get Rich Slowly every two weeks.

One of my jobs at The Motley Fool is to serve as the internal financial planner for Fool employees. Lately, however, I’ve been answering more questions my colleagues have about their parents — and it’s more likely about their mothers or mothers-in-law. The truth is, women face a more difficult task when it comes to retirement planning, for several reasons:

Women earn, and have, less. According to the Census Bureau, women earn just 77% of what men make. They are also more likely to interrupt their careers to raise children or take care of older relatives. According to the Social Security Administration, the typical woman spends 12 years out of the workforce. This results in lower retirement benefits and smaller portfolios. On average, a female’s 401(k) is 40% less than a male’s.

Women live longer. Generally, retirement begins when a person leaves the workplace and ends when life leaves the person. The longer someone lives, the longer retirement lasts — and the more assets will be needed. On average, gals live five years longer than guys, which means they tend to be retired longer. Add to this the fact that, with most couples, the wife is a few years younger than the husband, and you can see why most women should plan on spending their last few years on their own. Which leads us to…

Women are more likely to spend part of their lives single. Though my wife may not believe it, marriage enhances retirement security. According to a National Bureau of Economic Research study by Susann Rohwedder and Michael Hurd, 80% of married couples in the 66-69 age group are adequately prepared for retirement, whereas just 55% of single persons have enough resources. Unfortunately, more than twice as many older women are single than older men. According to the Census Bureau, 19% of men over the age of 65 live alone, compared to 40% of women in the same age group. More than two-thirds of 85-year-olds are women.

Women tend to retire earlier. According to the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, the average retirement age for men is 64, whereas the typical woman retires at age 62. This is often because a wife will retire at the same time as her husband. It’s just another reason why women can be expected to fund a longer retirement than men.

Women often leave financial planning to their husbands. According to a survey from ING Direct and Dailyworth.com, 40% of married women leave retirement planning to their partners, and almost 30% say they don’t know what their main source of future retirement income will be. This leaves widows and divorcees vulnerable when they find themselves single again, and could contribute to a general lower knowledge about money matters. According to studies by Dr. Annamaria Lusardi, director of the Financial Literacy Center, women score 12 percentage points lower than men on tests about concepts such as inflation and diversification, as well as other measures of financial literacy.

What’s a Woman to Do?
While all those statistics can be discouraging, the good news is that there are plenty of solutions. Here are the steps all women (and the men who love them) can take.

Become a money master. Regardless of whether you’re single, married, or living in a hippie commune where no one bathes but someone has to pay the bills, make sure you keep learning about financial planning and have a hand in the household finances. According to a study from Hartford Financial Service and the MIT AgeLab, couples who share the financial housework are more prepared than couples that rely on just one member to do all the financial lifting; the former group is more likely to have saved more and developed a plan for what will happen when one spouse passes away. This doesn’t mean that each spouse must do everything together, but it does mean that each spouse should know enough about what’s going on, and how to manage the family finances in the case the other spouse becomes ill or passes away.

Manage the couple’s benefits with the survivor in mind. The timing of when one spouse begins receiving Social Security and pension benefits (if any) can affect the financial security of the other spouse. The questions to ask are: 1) Will the primary beneficiary receive a larger benefit for delaying, and 2) how much of the benefit will go to a surviving spouse? In the case of Social Security, the benefit does increase for each year of delaying, which can be very important source of income for a retiree whose lifetime earnings record is not as high as her or his spouse’s, because that higher benefit will continue to the lower-earning spouse when the higher-earning spouse passes away.

Be ready to be on your own. The last time I covered this topic in a GRS post, a reader linked to a New York Times article, written by a woman who had once been an advocate for stay-at-home motherhood:

So I was predictably stunned and devastated when, on our 40th wedding anniversary, my husband presented me with a divorce. I knew our first anniversary would be paper, but never expected the 40th would be papers, 16 of them meticulously detailing my faults and flaws, the reason our marriage, according to him, was over….

The judge had awarded me alimony that was less than I was used to getting for household expenses, and now I had to use that money to pay bills I’d never seen before: mortgage, taxes, insurance and car payments. And that princely sum was awarded for only four years, the judge suggesting that I go for job training when I turned 67. Not only was I unprepared for divorce itself, I was utterly lacking in skills to deal with the brutal aftermath.

I hate to be so cynical as to suggest every person should be ready to become single at any moment, but I do think everyone should have a Plan B at the ready.

Delay retirement until everyone is ready. The decision to retire should not be based solely on whether both spouses have enough money to cover expenses, but also on whether a surviving spouse would be secure should the other spouse pass away. According to the Hartford study, the typical widow sees her income drop 50% when the husband passes away, yet expenses drop just 20%. To make sure they have enough in their later years, people should continue to work — and save — until they have enough to survive on their own, and not retire just because their spouse does.

Everyone should know the team. If you use any financial-services professionals — accountants, advisors, attorneys — both spouses should know at least enough to know what they do for you, and how to contact them. If you don’t use pros because one spouse does the work, you may want to begin assembling a team in your later years to smooth the transition in case that one spouse is no longer able to do the job. You can start with a fee-only financial planner, such as those who belong to the Garrett Planning Network or the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors.

The Times, They Are A-changin’
These kinds of posts can be tricky, since they’re based on generalizations that obviously don’t apply to every woman or couple, and can come off as sexist. To be sure, I know plenty of couples in which the wife is in charge of the household finances. These folks tend to be younger, which is why I think the difference in retirement prospects for women and men is partially a generational issue. It’s certainly my experience that women in their 70s — like my mother, who found herself divorced and re-entering the workforce in her 50s — are more comfortable leaving all the financial housekeeping to their husbands, and also less comfortable talking about money. Maybe that’s just my personal experience. But I do hope, as the income gap between men and women shrinks, and more men share in the child-raising responsibilities (for example, The Motley Fool offers paternity leave to new dads), that a post like this will be largely unnecessary several years from now.

This post is by staff writer Sarah Gilbert.

Your friends may be marketing to you.

I know: I’m taking the internet-shocking tactic I hate seeing elsewhere, but if I didn’t have evidence in my very inbox from (as I’m writing this post) three minutes ago, not to mention The New York Times and other well-regarded media, I would still have all the stuff that’s not headline material. You probably know it as “keeping up with the Joneses” or “being cool”; it’s the reason I carried a screen-printed canvas Esprit tote bag in high school even though I had extremely limited disposable income and the tote bag was a really uncomfortable way to lug my books, and the reason I used those over-sized butterfly clips in junior high even though they made me look more “insane human-alien love child” than “supercool Valley Girl.”

The word-of-mouth feel-good cycle
Often your friends are marketing to you by word-of-mouth marketing, every small business owner’s or corporate marketer’s wildest dream. “This Dove makes my skin so soft!” is what the corporate folks are hoping to coach you to say. “The service at Open Space Coffee is amazing!” is what the local folks are prompting you to say with their kind ways.

And the thing is that this is kind of an ethical trap. Great service notwithstanding (I stand firm in my endorsement for the coffee shop, they really are super nice), we’re getting a high when we tell our friends about a product’s positive characteristics. We’re saying through our glowing reviews of a skincare product or a diaper or a brand of energy bar, “I’m informed about this topic and I am someone whose opinion people seek out and I’m willing to share my opinion with you.” We’re saying when we listen to a friend or buy on a friend’s recommendation, “I have smart friends and I care about their opinions and I am going to be more like the people I admire when I spend money like they do.”

The reason this is an ethical trap is that we are both buying into the belief that our consumption habits are integral to our personhood and that imitating consumption habits will transform us to someone else (even if that transformation is slight).

Marketing is about selling a new you
This is now obvious to most of us but still a pretty big deal, in my opinion: what marketing is selling is not a product but a new you the product will make out of the existing you. You know the one. It’s the you whose skin is not perfectly soft and smelling of “botanicals,” whose hair does not always bounce and glow and shine, whose kids do not clap their hands gleefully every time you serve them a snack in the back seat of your clean, comfortable, dual-DVD-equipped minivan.

(Side note: A few years back, J.D. posted this guest post about “Personal Marketing”, using advertising tools to convince yourself to save. What a great way to create the new you that you really want!)

The thing is that, more and more often, the you that you want to be is not an actress on a commercial but a friend of yours — either a real-life friend, or a “friend” whose blog you read and you’ve come to think of as a friend. (As a long-time blogger, I have blurred the line between these two categories; I actually have lots of real-life friends who started out as people-whose-blog-I-read, so for me this is, as they say, a “meta” phenomenon.)

The new you is the author of a blog
As The New York Times pointed out last weekend and I’ve certainly observed myself over the past few years, corporations have really keyed in to the fact that the blogger (especially women bloggers, and especially women bloggers who are moms) is the new influencer. The mom blogger is the new you you want to be — if you’re a mom, of course, and often if you’re a young woman who hopes to be a mom one day. She’s very seductive, as she’s able to create a world populated by the best bits of her life with her kids (most of us don’t take photos of the kids refusing to eat kale chips or the mess in our minivan’s back seat).

And the reason even the men among the readership should take note is that this does not, by any means, occur just among females; it’s just in sharpest relief with mom bloggers, who are first making their blogs into mini-businesses (or not-so-mini) and then second being recognized for their role as a highly critical and powerful market force. Even in the age of two-income families and the at-home dad revolution, it’s still women who make more purchase decisions for their household.

Here’s how McDonald’s thinks of you and your mom blogger icons
“Bloggers, and specifically mom bloggers, talk a lot about McDonald’s,” says Rick Wion, director of social media for McDonald’s USA, told The New York Times. “They’re customers. They’re going to restaurants… We identified them and said, ‘These are our key customers. These are our influencers for our brand.’ We need to make sure we’re working with them.”

They’re working “with” them by working through them. It’s a savvy ploy, and I’ve been watching this for years, thanks to my aforementioned real-life blogging buddies/buddies who are bloggers. McDonald’s, or another company — I just got a persuasive email from Pampers; a few months ago I went to a fancy blogger shindig for Whole Foods — does not necessarily pay bloggers to write blog posts about them. That can be illegal and it can also create bad “buzz.”

What the corporations do is to butter up the bloggers by inviting them (I feel special!) to fancy events and one-on-one chats with high-up managers and celebrities (I feel listened to!) and then send them links and offer resources “in case” they want to write about their experiences, with a request that they send links after the posts go up (I think I might even get a new audience!). As that New York Times story said of the McDonald’s headquarters boondoggle, “The posts that followed — each accompanied by a disclaimer noting their sponsorship by McDonald’s — were overwhelmingly positive.”

Why would the mom bloggers — and your friends — talk pretty about big brands?
The reason mom bloggers and the people you meet at an investment club meeting or coffee shop talk up the big brands is for a lot of reasons, but I think there are three main psychological cues at work here:

1. After having a personal experience with a company, we don’t want to let anyone down. I’ve been in this very situation and can say that I worry about what the marketing rep or PR agent or social media outreach person will think of me if I accept an invite or a free product and don’t write positively about it. I also worry about their feelings.
2. If we get something good, we subconsciously react in a way that will ensure we keep on getting that good stuff. Whether that “good stuff” is freebies, or fancy trips to corporate headquarters, or lunch invitations, or very positive feedback, we’re going to want it to happen again and we’re going to act in a way we think will keep it coming.
3. We want to be associated with the thing we admire. Even if we started out with a somewhat critical opinion — say of McDonald’s marketing to kids, or the high expense of a brand of soap — once we meet an admirable executive connected to the company or are persuaded that the soap makes our skin so soft and fragrant, we want to be thought of as possessing these admirable qualities. Presto: we talk nice about the brand, subconsciously thinking that the admirable qualities will automatically rub off on us.

Hidden Valley Ranch and Knorr and how I said to myself, “no.”
I have an MBA and just am interested in product marketing, so I am automatically skeptical about such things. I am not shy about expressing delight in things I love, with or without freebies (I’m still hoping, though, that Theo Chocolates or Icebreaker will see my gushing over them and send me some promotional goodies), but I do try to hold myself back if I am indeed still critical after a brand’s full-court-press.

Two examples of packaged food (salad dressing and chicken stock, in this case) blogger outreach are, I think, a perfect case in point. At BlogHer’s 2011 conference in August, I was invited to cook with a celebrity chef. We made asparagus risotto, coached by Marco Pierre White, and were sent home with coupons and cookbooks. In another occasion, several friends of mine were invited to a very fancy several-course dinner utilizing Hidden Valley ingredients. One afternoon I sat in a coffee shop (ironically, the shop is connected to the farmer-direct food buying club of which I’m a loyal member) watching two of my friends tweet and Instagram the beautifully-presented concoctions some California chef had whipped up with this rather non-gourmet ingredient.

The fact is that, in both cases, I didn’t think the prepared ingredients were any better (and certainly not cheaper) than my own homemade variety. And in both cases, I said to myself, “this is just not good.” And I did not “like” the photos — even though they were gorgeous! — and I decided not to blog a word about Knorr’s cooking class.

Observe and abstain
The best way to deal with this, when your friends get caught up in marketing — going on a “Twitter tour” for some brand or bringing home freebies to share or having a giveaway for something you wouldn’t ever buy, is to first observe. “This is clearly an effort to influence me,” you can say to yourself, and think about where it started, probably the Midwestern office complex of some huge corporation in a conference room filled with my business school classmates. And how your friend is the unwitting passer-on and buyer-into this quest to make a new him or her.

And just say (in your own brain), “no.” I suggest not getting angry or trying to convert your friend or writing a blog post about how insidious this brand is. I suggest not taking photos of the package or using the hashtag the brand asks you to. I suggest not commenting on the blog posts or entering the contest. Just say, “no,” to yourself, and go on spending your time in a way you value. Learn a language. Study up for your investment club. Make chicken stock. Earn $20 selling your old CD collection on eBay.

Just observe, and abstain.

Have you been marketed to by your friends, either aggressively or with every well meaning in the world? How have you responded?

Last week, I was complaining to my Spanish tutor (who, by the way, thinks I always complain). “Ideally, I’d be writing less,” I told her. “I want to have more time to learn Spanish and to focus on other passions. But I just got an offer to write a couple more articles per week. And I would get paid for the work!”

My tutor shook her head. “Por la plata baila el mono,” she told me: The monkey dances for money. She didn’t have to explain what she meant. It was obvious. Money makes us do things we wouldn’t do otherwise; it turns us into puppets.

Although my tutor had a point, it’s not as simple as that. Yes, we sometimes do things we don’t want to do in order to earn money. But sometimes doing these things allows us to get money so that we can pursue our passions later.

“I write a monthly column for a magazine,” I said (in Spanish, of course). “The amount I earn from that column each month is exactly the same as what I pay you each month. Every month, I tell myself that I’m writing the column so that I can learn Spanish. That keeps me motivated to do it.”

Personal Currencies
This conversation reminded me of personal currencies, which I first mentioned four years ago. At the time, I wrote:

Money is an abstract concept. It really represents time and labor, and those are hard to visualize. By finding something concrete to use as a measure of value instead, it’s easier to visualize how much something is really worth to you.

For example, my wife sometimes measures things in lattés. If she sees something in a store, she’ll stop and consider: “That vase is three lattés” or “Those shoes are ten lattés” or “That book is two lattés”. By looking at things in this way, she’s able to figure out how much they’re actually worth.

Our friend Marla measures things in Saturns. She loves her car (a Saturn, naturally), and so whenever somebody mentions something expensive, she’s able to compute its value to her. A fancy plasma TV might be one-fifth of a Saturn, for example. A house might be ten or twenty Saturns.

Last night at dinner, I mentioned this notion to our friends Mike and Rhonda. “Oh, we used to do that all the time,” Rhonda said. “When we were first married, we lived near a sushi place. We loved their rainbow rolls, but they were kind of expensive. Whenever we got paid, we’d convert the dollars to rainbow rolls.”

Obviously these sort of personal currencies aren’t sophisticated financial tools. They are, however, quick and easy ways for each of us to measure the relative value of the things we buy.

This notion of personal currencies — and my mental equation in which writing a magazine column pays for Spanish lessons — is another way to look at life energy, which many of you will know from the classic Your Money or Your Life.

Trading Time for Money
In Your Money or Your Life, the central point that Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin try to convey to readers is this: Money is something we choose to trade our time for. (Except that the authors don’t call it “time”, they call it “life energy”.) They write:

Our life energy is our allotment of time here on earth, the hours of precious life available to us. When we go to our jobs we are trading our life energy for money. This truth, while simple, is profound.

[...]

Our life energy is more real in our actual experience than money. You could even say money equals our life energy. So, while money has no intrinsic value, our life energy does — at least to us. It’s tangible, and it’s finite. Life energy is all we have. It is precious because it is limited and irretrievable and because our choices about how we use it express the meaning and purpose of our time here on earth.

[...]

Ultimately you are the one who determines what money is worth to you. It is your life energy. You “pay” for money with your time. You choose how to spend it.

In a very real way, time is money. For most of us to be happy, we have to find a balance between trading our time for money. And, at times, trading money for time. We need both. Over the past few months, I’ve found that balance. I’ve achieved it. I’ve been reluctant to mess with it, yet now I’m tempted.

Or am I?

Finding Enough
Over the past week, as I’ve debated whether I should take on the additional workload to earn more money, I actually turned to my own book for advice. In Your Money: The Missing Manual, I briefly explore the concept of Enough (something that’s also covered in Your Money or Your Life). In my book, I write:

Knowing that you have Enough can be better than having billions of dollars. If you’re obscenely rich but aren’t happy, what good is your money? [...] If you don’t know why you’re earning and spending money, then you can’t say when you have Enough. So take time to really think about what Enough means to you. [...] If you don’t have an end in sight, you’re at greater risk of getting stuck in the rat race.

Or, to use the words of my Spanish tutor, you’re at greater risk of being a monkey that dances for money.

And so I have to ask myself why? Why do I want to take on this extra work? It’s not for the money, so what is it? Do I really think I’m going to improve my life by writing two extra columns per week? Where will I even find the time to do that? And what is it that I really want to be doing?

I don’t know the answers to all of these questions just yet, but I do know the answers to some. And, in fact, those answers may hint at the direction my life could take in the future. For now, one thing is sure: This monkey has decided he won’t be dancing for money — at least not this time.

This guest post from Joel Berry is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success or failure. These stories feature folks with all levels of financial maturity and income. Want submit your own reader story? Here’s how.

I’m writing this post as a follow up to my first post about why I drove a 13-year-old car. In that article, I set some goals for myself and came up with a plan to help me achieve those goals. Today I’m going to share where I succeeded — and where I failed.

My original goals were to:

• Drive my 1995 Geo Prizm for four more years in order to save a large down payment for a newer car.
• Put away $300 a month into a savings account for the down payment.
• Spend $1000 or less per year in maintenance for the Geo.
• Have $10,400 for a down payment on a new-to-me car.

How did I do? Let’s find out.

Goal #1: Keep My Car Another Four Years
At the time I wrote my last post, I’d already driven the Geo for 13 years. I had a choice to make:

• Take out a loan for the value of a new car minus any money I could get by selling the Geo
• Or, keep the car for a while longer while saving up more money to put down on the new car.

I came up with a plan to try to keep the Geo as long as it remained a reliable and safe car. I wanted to resist the temptation to purchase a new car and jump back into payments before I had to. All of my friends had purchased new cars and I was feeling a little pressure to keep up with them. I knew this was financially a bad move. I did not want to “keep up with the Joneses.” I wanted to buck the norm and not give into consumerism. I knew the longer I kept the car and remained payment free the better off I would be when I did purchase a new car.

So, did I keep the car for four more years? No, I kept the car for three instead of four years. Why?

My needs changed in the three years since I set that goal. My family grew and no longer fit in the car. When I originally set this goal, my children were smaller. They grew older, taller, and it was now uncomfortable for them to sit in the small back seat. When the car no longer met my needs, I knew it was time to change my plan. My needs changed and my goals needed to change with them.

Goal #2: Pay Less Than $1000 a Year on Maintenance
There was not a year of the three that I spent even close to the $1,000 I budgeted for maintenance.

This number was a worst-case-scenario number. If I was going over that number, I would have called it quits and gave up on the Geo. I averaged $400 a year on maintenance.

I consistently hear people say they need to get rid of their car because it is going to nickel-and-dime them to death. They get a new car out of fear, not because they truly have a need. The fear is the car would need a repair that would cost so much that it is better to sell it now and get a new car. I chose to ignore that fear and let the numbers dictate if I should keep the car or not.

Looking at the math, $400 a year and no payment works out to $33.34 a month that came out of my pocket to drive this car. I was okay with that. Other people might have chosen to sell the car. If I were to purchase another newer car, I feel the maintenance would be about the same. It might even be more because I would want to take better care of a newer car I was going to try to keep for a decade or so. I knew this car was going to be out of my life soon, so I had less to lose by not checking into every little squeak I heard.

People rarely take into account that the new car they buy might have problems as well. I have read many posts on the car forums about someone purchasing a brand new car and having nothing but trouble with it. Even though the repairs are covered under warranty, there’s a huge feeling of anger that they paid for a new car and it isn’t reliable. Most people end up selling the new car and take a huge loss just to be free of the troubled car.

Goal #3: Put $300 a Month into a Savings Account for a Newer Car
I set up a sub-account at ING Direct and had the money automatically withdrawn every month. I paid myself first to make sure the money was there before any other money was taken out to pay bills. This was easy to do; it only took a few clicks. The money being gone right away made it easier to meet this goal every month. When the money is not there to spend it made it easier for me to put off purchases until next week’s paycheck.

Goal #4: Save $10,400 for a Down Payment on Another Car
I missed this goal for two reasons. The first reason I brought on myself and the second was an unexpected life event.

The first reason I missed my goal was I sold the Geo one year early and missed out on that twelve months of savings. That’s $3600 that I gave up. Even though I was under budget with the maintenance costs, it wasn’t enough to offset the loss of those twelve months.

The second reason I didn’t meet this goal is we had a tough choice to make. One of my family members had a series of health problems that were getting worse and they lived very far away. We felt the need to take a trip to visit this person. The trip was something I needed to do; not going wasn’t an option.

We looked into all the alternatives. Credit card debt? I didn’t want to be paying for the trip on a card charging us 13% interest. 401(k) loan? I wasn’t willing to pull money out of my 401(k), pay the loan fee, and miss out on the potential returns the stock market could give us. ING account? The ING account was the only choice that made sense. After all, the ING account was only paying 0.8% interest at the time. But it would put me behind saving for a new car. That was a difficult thing for me to do.

We pulled the money out and went on the trip. We enjoyed spending time with family, saw things we would never have seen if we hadn’t taken the trip, and built lifelong memories. This is a choice I don’t regret at all. Money isn’t everything in life. I cherish my family and felt this was the right thing to do.

The Bottom Line
Three years ago, I set some goals for myself. I did my best to make a plan to help me meet those goals. As time went by my needs changed (needed a bigger car) and unexpected expenses came up (trip to see family). I feel good about how I did. I set some goals and stuck to them as much as made sense.

Over the 16 years I owned the Geo, twelve of those years were payment-free. My original payments were $250 a month. That extra $250 a month I that I didn’t have to spend on a car payment added up to $36,000 over the 12 years. If I subtract the overall maintenance I spent on this car over the full 16 years ($3400), it still leaves me with $32000. This number represents the amount of money I would have spent if I continued to have a car payment. I know many people who always have a car payment. I consider this a huge amount of money. This is the reason I chose to drive the car for so long.

In the end, I found a used car I wanted, put an ad on craigslist, and sold the Geo. After 16 years with this car, our family had outgrown it and was ready for another. Will I keep the new car for as long as I did the last one? That’s a question I can’t answer at this time. That depends on if this new car is as good as the last.

Life throws you curves; you have to bend with those curves. You have to take everything day by day and month by month. Your financial future is not set in stone. It is more like clay. Every decision you make and every curve life throws at you molds that clay. You need to re-evaluate your needs, wants, and limits every so often to make sure that clay is looking the way you want it to.

Am I the only one that decided to change the plans that I made in January of 2009? If you read J.D.’s note at the bottom of the original post he writes about his Ford Focus. He had a plan for that Focus, to drive it into the ground. Not long after that, J.D. bought a Mini-Cooper. His plans changed, and so did mine. I feel like I am in good company.