On Wednesday, I visited a fifth-grade class in McMinnville, Oregon to talk with the kids about money. I had a great time, and I’ll share more about the experience on Monday. Today, though, I want to start by sharing a question I received from one of the students.

“How much money do you have?” Hannah asked when I called on her.

“I’m not going to answer that?” I said.

“Nobody answers that,” said a boy named Max.

“Why do you think that is?” I asked.

I was curious about the fifth-grade perspective on this subject, so we talked about it for a little while. Some of the kids thought adults just don’t like to share things about themselves. Others said that if you talked about how much money you had, then other people would be more likely to steal it. I offered my own thoughts.

“I think people don’t talk about how much money they have because nobody wants to feel bad,” I said. “For example, if I have a lot of money and you don’t, then talking about money might make you feel bad. Or if you have a lot of money and I’m poor, then talking about money would probably make me feel bad.”

I believe that, ultimately, people don’t talk about money with strangers out of fear of being judged.

I explained that most people do talk about money, but only with people they know well, such as family and friends. (Not everyone talks about money, I know, but I believe most people are willing to share with those they’re close to.)

The kids didn’t seem to find my argument terribly convincing. In fact, after school was over, Hannah came up pose the same question again. “How much money do you have really?” she asked.

“I’m not going to answer that,” I said.

“Are you a millionaire?” she asked.

“I’m not going to answer that either,” I said.

She gave an exasperated sigh and left to catch the bus.

Yesterday, I told this story to my Spanish teacher, who is from Peru. She and I have discussed cultural attitudes toward money before. She thinks Americans talk about finances far too freely. And apparently she’s not the only one. In one of my favorite Spanish-language podcasts, the hosts have talked about the notion of social class in Spain. Apparently, folks there even avoid talking about what they do for work because that has the potential to make others feel uncomfortable.

On the long drive home from McMinnville, I spent a lot of time thinking about Hannah’s question. Is discomfort the actual reason we don’t talk about money in our society? Do we keep these facts private out of fear of judgment? I’m not sure. I don’t have any hard facts to back up my beliefs. Maybe there are other reasons.

What do you think? Why don’t people talk about money? Is it just to avoid discomfort? Or are there more practical reasons to avoid these sorts of discussions? And, more to the point, in your own life, with whom do you have money discussions? What sorts of things do you talk about? What sorts of implicit (or explicit) boundaries do you set?

When Zac Bissonnette writes about how savvy he was about money in high school, I know his unusually precocious wisdom is not a put-on. I knew him back then. And, with his new book, How to Be Richer, Smarter, and Better-Looking Than Your Parents, I think you should listen to him.

Even though, admittedly, he only has one lesson to teach you.

I Knew Him When
Zac was one of the first writers I contracted for the fledgling BloggingStocks (an AOL-owned web site focused on news and analysis of “America’s favorite stocks”), back in 2007. Since then we’ve become friends — well, I felt I knew him well almost immediately; he pestered me via IM to finish the paperwork and the pinging has never stopped since. How to Be Richer, Smarter, and Better-Looking Than Your Parents is his third book; both of the personal finance books he sold to Penguin have become immediate best-sellers and have given him, if not fabulous riches, fabulous riches compared to just about most of those people writing books.

Richer, Smarter and Better-Looking is targeted at 20-somethings like Zac, and though I’m not a 20-something, his statistics feel familiar and his arguments are persuasive. He begins the book by recalling a conversation he had with his dad in high school, where he asks him, “Who do you think thinks about money more? You or Bill Gates?”

The answer is, of course, his dad thinks about money way more. He was defaulting on his mortgage at about the time I met Zac; about the time Zac had started thinking about writing about money.

People Make Bad Decisions About Money Because It Sounds Too Hard to Learn Better
The reason there is so much room in this world to develop as a financial whiz kid is that it sounds too hard to figure out. As Zac learned, his dad and a lot of the parents around him weren’t doing a great job of teaching financial literacy to their kids. (Luckily, he writes, his mom taught him a lot; more on that later.)

I see this a lot, especially among the 20-somethings I know; my little sister’s friends, my babysitters, the young women and men who work in the coffee shops and co-ops and organic groceries around me (I can’t help it, these are the only places I go!). Learning about money seems hard, so it’s skipped in favor of learning about Dungeons & Dragons (my barista this morning) or how to grow every single kind of cruciferous vegetable (the co-op cashier) or philosophies of teaching English as a second language (my babysitter).

As Zac writes, “Managing your financial life is not about spreadsheets and compound interest. It’s about your life. The financial decisions you make can give you freedom or make you a slave.” He goes on to list ways money problems ruin people’s lives:

• High credit card debt is correlated with high anxiety, physical health problems, and increased risk of depression and suicide.
• Graduate students with high debt are more likely to have poor mental health and poor satisfaction with life.
• One poll showed that ulcers and anxiety were three to eight times as likely in those with high debt loads than those with low debt loads.

So Give Us the Lesson Already!
Luckily, he writes, it’s pretty easy not to get into loads of debt, especially as a twenty-something to whom he’s targeting his book. Take a look at all the young people who populate the reality TV shows — who say things like, “If you’re going to consume, why not do it conspicuously?” He writes about their crushing, awful debt (I think there were more foreclosures per capita for Real Housewives stars than even the most blighted neighborhood in Florida or Nevada or one of the other states famous for its terrible real estate market), and points to what one financially ruined star said “it was all props.”

“A house you can’t afford can be a prop,” Zac writes. “Or a car. Or a watch. When you think about it, we spend a lot of money on props — stuff that makes us look like something we’re not.”

“I started the research for this book with one simple question in mind: What should young people do with their money in order to have the best life possible today and for the rest of their life? After a year reading everything from the Bible to a nineteenth-century home-economics book that suggested using earwax as a free replacement for lip balm (seriously), I’m pretty sure I’ve found the answer: You shouldn’t spend it. On Anything. Ever.”

So That’s It: Don’t Spend Money?
Pretty much. Well, don’t spend money on stuff, and don’t spend it on education (at least not if it’s going to crush you with debt), and don’t spend it on cars (at least not a nice, new car), and don’t spend it on anything that could be considered a “prop” — something to make people think you’re rich. Perversely, that will keep you from being rich.

Zac goes on to cover lots of funny and useful topics, like banking (favorite chapter title ever: “The Financial Services Industry and You (Brought to You by the National Center for Domestic Abuse Prevention)”), debt, investing, cars, homes, careers, and financial things to think about when dating and marrying and planning a family. If you’ve read Get Rich Slowly for a long time, you won’t find a lot of new topics there, though you’ll surely find new information — Zac peppers his book with examples of reality TV stars, movie stars, sports stars, his parents, and the people he’s dated.

Worth Reading, Even If You Already Know This Stuff.
When Zac and I chat via IM these days, it’s usually about the crazy financial advice other people are giving. We talk a lot about how other people should spend their money. But we’re us, and sometimes we spend our money unwisely. I will do Zac the favor of not linking to the signed print he wanted to buy to celebrate his appearance on the New York Times bestseller list.

One big piece of advice he has (that I love and have recently added to my repertoire of tricks): don’t watch TV. “One reason we’ve gotten so profligate is that we’ve been exposed for our entire lives to examples of lavish consumption–whether responsible or not,” he writes. “Thanks in part to reality television, especially our favorite Housewives, we’re bombarded with the message that spending equals success. In fact, according to one study, the more television you watch, the more materialistic you tend to become and the more distorted your perception of reality. Consumer researchers Thomas O’Guinn and L. J. Shrum found that the more television people watch, the higher percentage of Americans they think have tennis courts, luxury cars, maids, and swimming pools.”

OK: I do watch a little Netflix, but we try to keep our consumption to medieval shows like Merlin and fanciful animation like Miyazaki’s highly non-materialistic movies. The important thing is to think about how we’re benchmarking ourselves, and how we’re measuring our happiness — and keep reminding ourselves of the very real, many-times-over researched finding that happiness from buying things never lasts (but debt-induced ulcers are forever) and the goodwill and benefits of financial freedom (from debt) are many-faceted and worth so much.

Now I’m Going to Go Dig in the Garden
One of Zac’s ideas in his chapter on credit card debt — and the quest we so often have for high FICO scores — is to, instead of questing for better credit, to get a hobby. My credit is less than stellar for many reasons, but my garden is gorgeous. I love how I can turn $16 in seeds and plants (less than I spent on a rare dinner out with my boys at a kid-friendly restaurant yesterday) into years of bountiful, lush, photo-worthy awesomeness. And food too! What a bonus. I’m going to go dig in that garden right now.

What do you think: Do you believe in the mantra, “don’t spend money ever”? How do you make that happen?

This is a post from staff writer Robert Brokamp of The Motley Fool. Robert is a Certified Financial Planner and the adviser for The Motley Fool’s Rule Your Retirement service. He contributes one new article to Get Rich Slowly every two weeks.

We at The Motley Fool have always been champions of the individual investor, encouraging each person to take control of her or his financial destiny. In theory, the transition of America’s retirement apparatus from defined-benefit plans — i.e., pensions that pay a monthly amount — to defined-contribution plans — such as 401(k)s and 403(b)s — is consistent with this Foolish philosophy. The individual makes all the contribution, investment, distribution, and inheritance decisions, whereas with a defined-benefit pension, the worker has very little control.

However, for the majority of Americans, the transition away from defined-benefit has not been to their benefit. It requires each person to become an investing expert and financial planner in their spare time, and too many Americans don’t seem to have the time, interest, inclination, or skills.

According to the Employee Benefit Research Institute, the average 401(k) account is a tad over $60,000; those within a decade of retirement have a bit more, with an average balance of $78,000, but more than a third have less than $25,000. Almost half of workers (43%) between the ages of 45 and 54 reported they weren’t saving anything for retirement.

Not that traditional defined-benefit pensions don’t have their own problems. Many are underfunded, and the benefits accrue mostly to workers who stay with the same employer for many years, which is less common in today’s mobile workplace. But it’s clear that 401(k)-based retirement planning will result in not much of a retirement for many workers.

We can chalk a good deal of this up to people not taking responsibility for their finances, but the problem also lies with the 401(k) system itself. Employees are stuck with the plan and the investments that have been chosen by the employer and/or HR department (who may be fine people, but not necessarily investment experts). Too often, the fund choices are mediocre or worse, and the costs are high.

Get Ready to Look Under the Hood
Unfortunately, you likely don’t know the true costs of your 401(k). They’re hidden in boring legal filings or embedded in the expense ratios of the mutual funds within the plan. But that’s all about to change.

Beginning later this year, 401(k) plans will be required to disclose how much the administration of the plan and the investments is costing participants. This is important information, since — according to human resources consultant Towers Watson — an increase of 0.5% of expenses (i.e., $50 for every $10,000 invested) could consume eight years’ worth of savings for an above-average earner. After all, the $30 billion to $60 billion the financial-services industry makes from 401(k)s each year doesn’t grow on trees; it’s usually taken directly from investors’ accounts.

The amount of fees being extracted from 401(k) accounts may be shocking to some investors. Indeed, many might be surprised they’re paying fees at all, if an AARP survey is to be believed, which found that 70% of worker didn’t know they were paying fees. Alas, that is just not the case.

With the new disclosures, it will be easier to see what you’re paying, and whether that’s too much.

Generally, smaller plans pay higher costs — “smaller” meaning both the number of plan participants as well as total assets in the plan. According to a study [PDF] conducted by Deloitte for the Investment Company Institute (a trade organization for the mutual fund industry, so not necessarily an unbiased crew), the median all-in cost — which includes administrative costs as well as investment expenses — to plan participants in 2011 was 0.78%. But the numbers vary widely, with plan size being the primary factor.

The median cost for a plan with more than $1 billion in assets was 0.38%, whereas the median cost for a plan with less than $1 million was 1.41%. Similarly (and relatedly), the median cost for a plan with fewer than 100 participants was 1.29%, compared to 0.43% for those with more than 10,000 participants.

You can use those figures as a benchmark to determine where your fees fall in relation to other plans. Then, figure out who’s paying those fees — you or your employer. Chances are, it’s the person you see in the mirror (unless your boss follows you into the bathroom, which is kinda weird). According to the Deloitte study:

[P]articipants bear the majority of 401(k) expenses. Similar to any other employee benefit (e.g., health insurance), the employer determines whether the employee, employer, or both will pay for the benefit. According to the Survey, on average, participants pay 91% of total plan fees while employers pay 5% and the plans cover 4%. This compares with participants paying 78%, employers paying 18% and plans paying 4% in the 2009 Fee Study.

In other words, employees are paying the majority of fees, and the share that they’re paying is going up.

Are you getting your money’s worth from your 401(k)? Here’s how to find out, and what to do about it:

• Evaluate your investment choices. See if the funds in your plan, over the past five years, have beaten a relevant index fund as well as the majority of other funds with a similar investing objective. This information may be found in your quarterly statements or on the website of your plan provider. Important note: Your funds’ mileage may vary from the information on Morningstar or other fund-info sites since funds in 401(k)s often have additional costs.
• Use the side brokerage account, if offered. Approximately 20% of 401(k)s allow participants to open an account with a discount brokerage within the plan. This will let you buy individual stocks, bonds, ETFs, and other mutual funds. However, compare the benefits to the costs, since these accounts often have higher maintenance fees.
• Advocate for a better plan. Talk to the folks in your HR department and raise your concerns. After all, their retirement is on the line, too, and they should also be motivated to have the best possible plan. Here’s an example of a letter you can write to ask for a better plan.
• Don’t ignore other accounts. If your 401(k) is stin(k)y, contribute just enough to take full advantage of the employer match, and then max out an IRA with the discount brokerage of your choice. You might pay lower costs and have more investment options. However, if you are in a higher tax bracket — and thus ineligible for the Roth IRA, and your contributions to a traditional IRA wouldn’t be deductible — then it might make sense to invest in non-dividend-paying stocks you’ll hold for many, many years. You don’t get a tax break up front, but you’ll pay long-term capital gains when you do sell, which (at least according to current laws) are lower than the taxation rate on ordinary income (the rate at which your paycheck and traditional 401(k) and IRA distributions are taxed).
• Move your money. You generally can’t transfer the money in your 401(k) to another account while you’re still working for the employer sponsoring the plan, but some companies allow it, especially for older workers. If your plan is sub-par, ask if your employer allows “in-service distributions.” If so, or once you leave that employer, transfer the money to an IRA. But do not just get a check and cash it; that is considered a distribution, which will be subject to taxes and a 10% penalty if you’re not 59 ½ years old. Instead, get the money to an IRA, ideally through a “trustee-to-trustee transfer,” in which the money is sent directly from your 401(k) to the IRA.
• Get help. If you’re looking for professional advice with your investment choices, look for a fee-only planner who charges by the hour, such as the Certified Financial Planners at the Garrett Planning Network or the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. She or he can also estimate whether you’re saving enough to retire when and how you want.

Hug Your Boss, Then Make the Request
Employers deserve credit for sponsoring retirement plans. They don’t have to do it, it consumes the HR department’s time, and it might even cost them actual money. I’m on the 401(k) committee of The Motley Fool (where the company covers all administrative costs, thank you very much), and I can tell you that it’s more work than most people would think.

But don’t be bashful about politely asking for a better plan. No one is planning your retirement for you, and no one cares more about your retirement more than you do. The more your retirement will rely on your own contribution and investment decisions, the more you must take charge.

Summer is coming, and the weather is warming around much of the United States. You know what that means: Yard sale season is upon us! Hosting a yard sale — or garage sale or tag sale or whatever you want to call it — can be a great way to clear out clutter and generate a bit of quick cash.

In fact, Kris and I joined some of our friends last weekend to clear out some of the Stuff we’ve collected since our last sale in 2006 — and some of the Stuff that neither of us wants since the divorce. We had a good time sitting around a driveway in southeast Portland, joking, eating donuts, and trying to convince people to buy our (former) treasures.

As a veteran of many profitable yard sales, here are some of my top tips:

• Be clear on the purpose of your sale. Are you selling things to make money or to get rid of them? This question affects everything you do, from how you price things to how willing you are to negotiate. (If your goal is to get top dollar, you should really be selling on eBay or Craigslist.) Last weekend, for instance, I just wanted to get rid of stuff. I was willing to take almost any offer.
• A group sale is better than selling alone. If you can coordinate a weekend sale with your neighbors, you’ll draw more traffic. Here in Portland, the Eastmoreland Garage Sale — which includes nearly 150 households — brings in thousands of people every June.
• Advertise effectively. Stick an ad in the newspaper. Put up a notice on Craigslist. Post clear, simple signs around the neighborhood. Make sure your signs are readable. It’s best to use big bold text like “HUGE SALE” with an arrow pointing the right direction. (The Yard Sale Queen has a great page highlighting the difference between good and bad yard sale signs.)
• Be prepared. Wear comfortable clothing. Have water and snacks at hand. Get plenty of one-dollar bills and a roll of quarters the day before. Move things out early. Good preparation will help things run smoothly. I’ll admit that I was unprepared for our sale this weekend, so I missed the first few hours (the hours when the most serious buyers arrive) because I was still getting my things ready to sell.
• Display items to their advantage. People will be more inclined to stop if you set up shop in your yard or driveway. Some folks are reluctant to enter a dark and dreary garage. Make your sale inviting and easy to browse. You can lure customers by placing highly desirable items near the road.
• Think like a customer. As soon as you’ve opened and fielded the initial flood of shoppers, walk through your sale as if you were there to buy something. How does it feel? Are things clearly marked? Is it easy to move around? Are your books on the ground in boxes? Or are they placed neatly on shelves or tables? Would you pay $10 for that porcelain cat?
• Do not bad-mouth your stuff. At one group garage sale, a friend consistently told customers what was wrong with the items they were buying. “Oh, that book is awful. That’s a terrible movie. That skillet doesn’t heat very well. That game is boring.” We sent this friend inside to drink beer ASAP. This year, Kris and her friends did the opposite. It was hilarious to watch them say things like, “Wow, that sweater looks great on you!”
• Be willing to bargain, but be less flexible at the start. On the first day, you want to get as much as you can for each item. Most people will still buy Aunt Lucy’s soup tureen at $5 even after asking you to sell it for $3. If they’re bargaining, it’s because they want the item. Don’t be completely rigid, but don’t give your stuff away at the start.
• Do not use a cash box. Carry your money with you at all times. Casual thieves and professional swindlers can both make off with cash boxes in an instant. We use a cheap cloth apron/utility belt from the local hardware store to carry our money. Some people use a fanny pack or a zippered bank deposit pouch. (Here are more tips for avoiding garage sale scams.)
• Have a plan for what you’ll do with your unsold merchandise. Some non-profits will pick up unsold stuff, so research this ahead of time. On Saturday, we loaded all of our unsold stuff into a Honda Element and hauled it to a local thrift store.

Running a yard sale isn’t rocket science. But if you put a little effort into creating an environment where it’s pleasant to browse and easy to find junk treasures, you’ll make a lot more money. Or some money, anyhow.

Last weekend, I was able to purge tons of old record albums, as well as some paperbound comic book compilations. These are things I needed to get rid of anyway because they were a mental and physical burden on my life. In exchange, I earned $105. Not bad.