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Kris and I have been reading Unplug the Christmas Machine by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. This book urges readers to escape the commercialism of the holiday season, to make it a “joyful, stress-free” time for the family. In a chapter entitled “The Four Things Children Really Want for Christmas”, the authors write:
One concern voiced by most parents is that of shielding their children from the excesses of holiday commercialism. While adults can mute the TV when the ads get annoying, children are defenseless against the onslaught of ads. As early as the age of four or five, they can lose the ability to be delighted by the sights and sounds of Christmas, only to gain a two-month-long obsession with brand-name toys. Suddenly, all they seem to care about is how many presents they will be getting and how many days are left until they unwrap them.
Many parents find it a challenge to create a simple value-centered Christmas in the midst of all the commercial pressure. But the task is made much easier when parents keep in mind the four things that children really want for Christmas.
Robinson and Staeheli argue that children don’t really want clothes and toys and games. The four things they actually want are:
- A relaxed and loving time with the family. Children need relaxed attention. During the holidays, normal family routines are temporarily set aside for parties, shopping, and special events. It’s important to slow down and spend quality time with your kids.
- Realistic expectations about gifts. Kids enjoy looking forward to gifts and then having their expectations met. The key is to manage their expectations. You might try, for example, to educate your children about advertising in an attempt to mitigate its effects.
- An evenly paced holiday season. The modern Christmas season starts months before December 25th, when the first store displays go up, then things end with a bang on Christmas day. The authors suggest beginning the season late in the year. Get out the Christmas music on December 15th, then get the tree on the following weekend. Schedule some low-key family events during Christmas week. Stretch the season to New Years Day.
- Reliable family traditions. When I talk to my friends about what Christmas was like when we were Children, it’s not the gifts that we remember. We recall the things we did as a family. I remember sleeping next to the tree every Christmas eve, but never being able to catch Santa in the act. I remember seeing the cousins. I remember decorating the trailer house. Your kids will remember the traditions, not the gifts.
PB emailed me yesterday to share some similar thoughts:
We were able to keep [our children's] expectations realistic by following an old tradition — that Santa filled the stockings and only the stockings — nothing under the tree. This limited the size and quantity of gifts, and as they were all relatively sure what they could and could not wheedle out of their parents for tree presents, their expectations were kept in check. We bought one new outfit for each, usually a special piece of clothing that they really wanted, and spent only about $ 100/child. However, I also shopped all year long and got some real bargains. Looking back over photographs of happy faces, I know that they did not feel cheated.
We also emphasized doing a lot of things with our church — food delivery to the elderly, singing at nursing homes, and service to others. Our ongoing tradition is a big Christmas eve dinner with lots of friends and then the midnight service, where we all play an instrument or sing in the choir. This is what the kids talk about — not about what they received.
Wherever you are and whatever you do this holiday season, I wish you the very best — Merry Christmas.
This article is about Books, Planning, Relationships, Shopping Friday, 21st December 2007 (by J.D. Roth)
December 21st, 2007 at 5:34 am
Fantastic - Everyone should follow the Santa only fills a stocking rule! Children understand if they live in poor families, but not why Santa gives them a smaller toy compared to the kid down the road with a new playstation.
People keep telling me “Xmas is for the children”, but last Xmas I witnessed my nieces & nephews glumly opening a roomfull of presents; literally on a conveyer belt of parents expectations. But only one of us went out and played rugby after dinner with my nephew- that’s the thing he’d remember..
December 21st, 2007 at 5:48 am
My family never really emphasized Santa. It was something that would come up but we never made a big deal about it. Our routine was the same every year and I do not remember the gifts but I do remember the togetherness and the traditions of those years.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:02 am
Blaming advertising for the excesses of Christmas is an excuse used by parents that want to justify their decision to go overboard.
We go overboard every year, and not because of the TV. We do it because it’s damn fun! The kid that gets a stocking with toys is not destined to grow up more caring or more humble than the kid that gets an XBox 360. If you are focusing on the presents, or the lack of presents, you are doing it wrong. It’s two sides of the same mistake.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:13 am
What a great perspective! Every year, I watch my poor niece and nephew as they labor through mountains of presents, never once stopping to enjoy any of the items even if they wanted them. I think it is a good idea to have them open only a couple gifts at a time or each day, allowing them time–and the adults time–to enjoy the gifts they have received.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:14 am
@Pippin:
I think I agree - for a lot of people, Christmas isn’t about the children, it’s about the adults wanting excited children. Which wouldn’t be a problem if people thought a bit more out of the box about what children actuallly enjoy.
Is there anything worse than children who don’t want to open more presents being made to do so and act happy about it, just to please some grown ups?
December 21st, 2007 at 6:14 am
The first thing I plan to do when we have kids is to unplug the t.v. I grew up without a t.v. (my parents were major hippies, still are) and I know that the lack of t.v. during my early childhood years (up to about 12) was a huge plus. We still had Christmas and gifts but it was on a small scale with a lot of hand made gifts. My parents never encouraged the Santa thing either. I remember baking cookies and breads and making home made candles (out of old crayons) and things like that.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:42 am
We don’t make a big deal of Santa. And we limit our kids to three gifts each. If three gifts was good enough for baby Jesus, it had better be good enough for my kids.
Of the three books, I also try to buy a toy, a book, and a game. It limits the roomful of useless toys and encourages reading and family times.
December 21st, 2007 at 6:46 am
We have cut back a little more each year on presents for our kids. They get a couple of things from Santa, and this year my parents are getting them a Playstation II, so we are getting them 2 games to go along with that. Every year since our first child was born, I have talked to my parents and my mother-in-law about calming down and not getting the kids so much stuff. I have finally given up as they completely ignore me, but the kids get much less from us so that it balances out more. When I was a kid, my siblings and I each got one or two things from the grandparents. Each set of my children’s grandparents give them almost as much as we got total when I was a kid.
We have successfully cut down our spending this year quite a bit, buying less expensive presents for relatives and making toffee for gifts for my boss, the secretary, etc.
This looks like a good book, I’d like to read it before next Christmas.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:01 am
We try to put the tree and decorations up on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and leave them up until January 6 for the 12 days of Christmas. It’s a tradition that started with my parents and one that I have gladly taken into my household. I agree that it’s important to build traditions, because that is what makes “family Christmas” so special.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:34 am
Er..are you kidding - “Kids don’t really want clothes, toys, or games” for Christmas. That’s probably false in my opinion. Of course these things are important to children - that’s the whole meaning and expectation of the new Christmas holiday.
For children, receiving presents is part of the growing up experience. I still remember all of the best gifts I received when I was a little kid. Why not teach the children to buy little token gifts for each other so everyone can share in the joy of giving and receiving, rather than try to “shield” them from it all.
-Raymond
December 21st, 2007 at 7:40 am
MBB, I think what the authors are trying to say is that these things — the clothes, toys, and games — are representative of something deeper. Sure, kids think they want these physical goods, but they’re actually grasping at something more abstract. Further, when kids get older, what they actually remember isn’t the gifts, but the rituals and traditions and the family. Sure, on one level, the kids are all about the gifts. But it’s an immediate superficial level.
At least that’s what I think the authors are trying to say.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:49 am
@ Raymond: I don’t know if I agree. I don’t want to teach my kids that they have to buy things for each other (or anyone else) to bring about happiness. If they want to buy a present for someone that’s great, but I wouldn’t want them to be under pressure to do so… I’d rather encourage them to give in other ways (as the other posters mentioned, volunteering, or making gifts, or spending time with the people we love).
My favorite gifts that I remember from childhood were not bought at the store. Other than that I only remember the gifts I got that I didn’t want (like Barbies when I was way too old for Barbie). I’m terrible at faking excitement. These days I make everyone promise not to buy me anything to reduce the stress, but I didn’t have that choice when I was a kid.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:53 am
It’s especially important to have the same rituals…or it was for me. I remember how much it would throw off my holiday if we did the “wrong” thing or didn’t do something.
Realistic expectations about presents is also good. I loved presents, but some years I thought I was getting more than I was and some years I had a pretty good idea…the latter were better years.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:54 am
The smartest thing we did as a family about Christmas was to use an idea my sister had given me, the Five Gifts of Christmas. Each year, we would give our two daughters:
1. Something to love, to teach nurturing (for our daughters, this generally meant a doll. This worked well for us. For younger children, it might mean a stuffed animal. For older children, this might be a pet, or pet supplies. This category can stretch a little. You might think it means nurturing/caring for something like a garden, so you could buy garden supplies. Or perhaps a bird feeder (caring for animals).
2. Something to help them be artistic (paints, bead kits, other art supplies)
3. Something to help them be athletic (jump ropes, soccer ball, stilts, etc.)
4. Something to read (books were always a big hit in our house)
5. Something for them to do with parents (a board game, a puzzle. One year we got them tickets to a play for us to see together).
This worked very well for us, because it was simultaneously limiting and yet creative. The kids liked it, too. We felt the gift-giving experience was well-rounded, and once we had picked the five gifts, it was easy to tell ourselves we were “done,” without that nagging sense that we needed to get them another gift.
We also had yearly traditions, of course, and they were as eagerly anticipated as much as the gifts. For example, we always end the season with a special breakfast on Epiphany (Twelfth Night). We set the table with fancy dishes, and at each place is a miniature stocking, which we stuff with after-Christmas sale candy, music and ornaments.
December 21st, 2007 at 7:56 am
As a follow up to what I just wrote, I do remember one gift - an art set I had asked my mother for out of a catalog. I liked all the shiny different colors of crayons and markers. On Christmas day, my brother opened his first gift, and it was the art set. I exclaimed “no! I wanted that!” (how embarassing… but this is the internet, so you won’t tell on me…) And the whole family looked at me like I was a mini-Grinch - and I was behaving like one!
They realized my mom had wrapped the presents wrong and gave me the art set. Five years later, the art set was still in its little case, nearly completely unused, markers dried out, paints cracking. I was a biology major and my brother went to art school. Moral of the story - who hasn’t seen unused presents go to waste that were so desired by the recipients? It’s all a game. Encouraging it will lead to unused items your kids will buy for themselves in an elusive search for happiness in the future.
December 21st, 2007 at 8:06 am
[...] you Jeanne for sharing the link to “The Four Things Children REALLY Want for Christmas”. I wanted to post it here so it wouldn’t get lost in the comments. »» commentsWhy [...]
December 21st, 2007 at 8:17 am
I find it funny to suggest “stretching” the Xmas season to New Year’s. Actually, the 12 Days of Christmas go to Ephipany, the celebration of Jesus receiving his gifts from the maji. In Latin cultures, 3 Kings Day is a bigger deal than Xmas. And gifts on that day make more sense from a symbolic standpoint.
It’s just that we are so focused on starting the season right after Thanksgiving that we face Xmas burnout by the time it hits (especially when T-giving is early like this year).
December 21st, 2007 at 8:33 am
Late at night, my son and I turn off all the house lights, leaving on only the Christmas tree lights. We then pick a game to play near the tree - this year it’s been a lot of chess.
It’s a great way to end the day.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:14 am
I plan on making officious use of our DVR to cut commercials out of anything we allow our children to watch (when the time comes), until such age as they’re able to use the remote to just skip them themselves. There’s no way to protect your children from *all* commercialism, but there are some easy things to do.
Beyond that, as a kid I had a lot of fun looking forward to the presents at Christmastime. But my expectations were always well managed. I can’t ever remember being disappointed at the end of Christmas after not having received some gift that I had wanted. It just made it that much *more* enjoyable when I *did* get something I really really wanted. Looking back, I realized that I most enjoyed the anticipation of opening all of those presents… this is why I never really tried to figure out what my presents were before hand. It was more fun to wonder and count the days.
Sure, it was primarily motivated by materialism, but it was well in check, and it’s evolved so that the gift part of Christmas takes a back seat to the family and friends.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:34 am
Jennionthefarm…
We have the same problem. A couple of years ago, my two children received 36, yes 36, gifts from my mother-in-law! It looked like Santa’s sleigh had exploded in our living room. I’m hoping (probably futile at this point) that she exercises a bit more self-control this year.
As far as our household goes, Santa brings three gifts. This year, it’s roller blades and two small toys each. They’ll also receive the traditional flannel PJ’s from me and a book from Dad. Stockings are filled with candy, extra batteries, new mittens, and art supplies to refresh their school boxes for the new year.
We try very hard to incorporate non-gift traditions into the holidays to de-emphasize the commercial aspects of Christmas. It may sound very retro, but we make an advent wreath, string popcorn & cranberries for the tree, make a gingerbread house or two, and attend the annual downtown holiday parade. We also encourage the kids to participate in our church’s Christmas pageant, and we attend midnight Mass.
I don’t remember a single gift from my childhood. What I do remember is the atrocious silver tinsel Christmas tree in the living room (I was a 60’s baby), going downtown for the holiday parade, visiting with my HUGE extended family for the annual Christmas reunion, the wonderful tin of fudge my great-aunt made every year for my Dad (and my brother & I thinking we were getting away with something when we snitched pieces without asking), the luminaries that lined the streets on Christmas Eve, and the fire fighters who drove the engine around our neighborhood, handing out candy to all the kids.
Those are my very warm memories of holidays past and have very little to do with gifts. When my children are grown, I hope they will have similar memories.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:34 am
I guess this all depends of which Christmas you are talking about. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ, but that has been mostly forgotten and replaced with Santa and video games.
Remembering what Christmas really is helps me to not getting caught up in the commercial version.
We do gives gifts to each other, as a way for us to remember the gift that God gave us on the first Christmas.
December 21st, 2007 at 10:05 am
You know, Brian, the secular aspects of Christmas don’t bother me near as much as the hoopla that surrounds Easter.
December 21st, 2007 at 10:15 am
I completely agree COD at post #3 - a total backlash against ‘commercialism’ and gifts is just as bad as giving children thousands of dollars in gifts. Like all things moderation is key but I’m not about to apologize for enjoying bringing joy to friends and family that I love, and gifts are certainly part of that.
If I had to choose between my child growing up with a ‘holier than thou’ ascetic Jesus-centric granola fest and a greed-poinsoned toy grab, I’d be darn hard pressed to say which is preferable. Tradition is the heart of Christmas, whether that’s a religious tradition or a familial one, and neither of the extremes provides satisfying experiences for me on their own.
December 21st, 2007 at 10:22 am
I remember getting too many gifts as a kid. My parents are separated and remarried so I have My Mom, Dad, Step Mom, Step dad, my grand parents on my mom and dads side and my grand parents on my step moms side (my step dads parents live in another country) I had uncles and aunts, and everyone is so giving that on Christmas as a kid I remember making 3-4 stops and having to open presents at each one. I remember wanting to just play with one of the toys I got but couldn’t because i had to open the rest of them.
Now I see my little brother and sister going through the same thing (half brothers and sisters so they don’t have to deal with as many stops, but my mom (not theirs) still gives them gifts as do other members of my family. It is ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to force kids to open more presents, and if you do…you bought way too much.
When I have kids, Ill do what my mom did. you get 1 big present, and 3 small presents. that was it. We pretended their was a Santa till I was about 5, after that, it was done. And it worked out well.
December 21st, 2007 at 10:25 am
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been super bad all year in the hopes that santa will notice and bring me what I really want: free fossil fuels to heat my house. I just hope he’s smart enough to bring 100 gallons of propane rather than a lump of coal, but I suppose I could always sell the coal…
December 21st, 2007 at 10:31 am
I agree, JJ, all things in moderation. Church is a very big part of our Christmas celebration, as it should be since we’re Christians. Nonetheless, we really enjoy the secular aspects of the holidays. It wouldn’t be Christmas without the tree, the decorations, the food, the visiting, and yes, the gifts, too. Even our church gets in on the fun. At the Wednesday night service during the week of St. Nicholas Day, our pastor has all the kids take off their shoes, leaving them in the fellowship hall before they leave for choir practice. When the kids return, each pair is filled with an orange & a few pieces of candy. It’s a wonderful tradition, and one that we all enjoy from year to year.
LOL, icup!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:08 am
What I remember is baking cream puffs, setting up the nativity, playing cards with my gram while my parents cooked Christmas dinner, and when I got old enough helping cook the dinner. The only THINGS that I remember were the silly things we got in our stockings. I was an only child, so it was always just me, my gram, and my parents, and every year we got in our stockings little wind up toys which we would race. =D
December 21st, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I totally agree with the above list, particularly item 1. Throughout my childhood, I learned to resent Christmas as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was spent cleaning the house in a hurried attempt to tidy up before the family party. It was the most nerve-wracking time of the year and I dreaded my winter break from school because of it. In time, the parents relaxed and things felt more like they should. I can say I actually look forward to it now.
December 21st, 2007 at 9:05 pm
May I suggest:
1) Cardboard boxes. Large, interestingly shaped ones, especially.
2) Blocks.
3) Things that roll
4) Simple things that sound neat, such as pots and wooden spoons, slide whistles, washboards and sticks, xylophones, drums, etc.
Then again, that may only apply to certain age brackets.
December 21st, 2007 at 11:07 pm
I swear that this time of year is the absolute epitome of “a happy time is a stressful time.” At least up there with a new baby in the family, but this comes every year!
December 21st, 2007 at 11:45 pm
It’s especially difficult to manage gift and expectation overload if you have an only child. We try to let everyone who wants to send her a present to do it as a group.
In Germany, we celebrate Christmas on the evening of the 24th. We have dinner in the early evening and open the presents later. Our family has a tradition we know will always be memorable for her: we go for a walk after Christmas dinner. During that time, neighbours come over with gifts we’ve left with them and they put them under the tree.
We’ve been doing that ever since she was little, and though she’s nearly 11 and old enough now to know that Santa Claus is but a legend, she asked the other day: are we going for our walk again this Christmas?
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:19 am
Really interesting, thoughtful comments on this thread. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
A few random thoughts:
* The Victorians said that, for Christmas, each child should get four gifts: something they want, something they need, something to play with, and something to read.
* Using technology to mute or skip commercials is great, but don’t forget that more advertising is through product placement now, so the ads are actually woven into the show. Subtle advertising is harder to avoid.
* I remember certain specific Christmas gifts that I especially wanted, but I’ve forgotten 98 percent of the Christmas gifts I’ve ever received. Many years I had forgotten the gifts by mid-January.
* If you have kids, please help them make or buy small gifts for friends and relatives. Thoughtful gift-giving is an art and can take years of practice to get right. Also, putting thought and effort into presents gives kids more control over Christmas. They feel it’s something they participate in rather than sitting back and waiting to get gifts.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:41 am
One thing I’m doing this year for my young niece is arranging a family day out . . . to plant a tree!
Costs very little but more importantly it’s something worth doing and should be a fun time.
Each year I’ll take her back there at Xmas and we can see how much it’s grown.
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:06 am
Great list! I think it can be summarized into one word… time. Good quality time is really what children are looking for and that is what they will remember when they are grown and done.
Best Wishes,
D4L
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:58 pm
The 4 things children really want for Christmas…
The 4 things children really want for Christmas…
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:16 pm
[...] The Four Things Children Really Want for Christmas [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:21 am
My sister promised my 7 year old niece I would get her a Wii for Christmas this year.
I didn’t get it, and I wasn’t in on it. If my niece is horribly disappointed in a couple of days, I think my sister is responsible for it.
The saddest thing about Christmas is that we as adults perpetuate a lot of the commercialism that we ourselves say we dislike.
-
Ryan
http://uncommon-cents.net/
December 23rd, 2007 at 10:15 am
There are two things about Christmas gifts I remember from early childhood. First, that if there was something I especially wanted, it always came from Santa and not my parents, and second, that Santa always brought nicer presents to kids in other families. I could never figure out what I had done to displease both my parents and Santa Claus.
So, by all means go extravagant on your kids if you want, but for the sake of your kids’ friends make the extravagant parts from yourselves and not Santa. Kids can understand other families being wealthier than theirs. They don’t understand being snubbed by Santa.
December 23rd, 2007 at 11:03 am
Hmmm. This is a tad late. Most parents have already missed the opportunity to curb expectation. Good list though, maybe this will still be fresh on their minds when they see the animals tear through gift wrap on xmas day though…
December 23rd, 2007 at 11:32 am
My memories of christmas as a child are of stress. My mother wanted everything to be perfect and got so worked up trying to do it all that it made the rest of the family crazy. I remember my dad comforting me when I was about 8yrs-old, I was crying and said “I hate christmas” and he said “I do, too, honey. We just have to get through it.” For my kids I try to be relaxed and fun. We make ornaments for friends and family in December and give them out as we see people — gets us into the giving without thought of receiving. We take time to see the lights around town, to decorate and appreciate our tree. We talk about the other festivals of lights and remember that feasting and gifts are to make the darkest, coldest time of year merry. We celebrate the return of the sun.
As for gifts, the kids can ask Santa for one thing and “he” brings one big gift and two stocking stuffers for each. We take time to admire/play with each gift as it is opened (the gifts are always removed from any packaging before being wrapped). With the gifts from aunts and uncles around the country also to be opened, sometimes we aren’t done opening until the day after christmas — not because there are so many but because there is time between the gifts for play.
We relax and play and laugh and appreciate each other. Then go to my parents for dinner and try to ignore the pressure for perfection my mother still puts on herself.
Peace in the New Year!
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:32 pm
The details of the post should not only apply to Christmas. Parents can use this mentality for birthdays and any other special occasions for their children. It’ll help teach the children from thinking that happiness does not necessary come from money.
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Okay,I will be the one who says I remember lots of my Christmas presents. I’m kind of weird that way that I remember way too much of my childhood. But my most memorable were:
An battery powered car (this was 1973 and a BIG deal) unfortunately it drove my parents nuts and it went away.
Holly Hobby sewing machine to make my Barbie’s some clothes.
My first stereo with 8-track tape player and given with a record of ABBA’s greatest hits.
A small organ that I learned how to play Christmas Carols on.
Commodore 64 computer.
And the last ever Christmas morning (kind of from Santa gift) my senior year of high school was a stuffed bear that I still own at the age of 40.
I think the secret is that they were special (not always a lot of extra gifts) and given with love and my family didn’t have very much money but they would make sure that Christmas was special.
December 24th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
1) their two front teeth
2) a Wii
3) an iPod
4) a functional family
December 26th, 2007 at 6:20 am
We read Unplugging Christmas a couple of years ago and have made some steady progress.
Yesterday we watched carefully and asked the kids to try to figure out what their favorite presents were. Both kids spent a large part of the day playing with their cheap yo-yo and a plastic collapsible camping cup. The cup and yo-yo were both well under a dollar.
December 26th, 2007 at 6:29 am
[...] The Four Things Children Really Want For Christmas This article made me think of my son opening up a box of Legos for Christmas. He was immediately excited, but that excitement manifested itself as he ran to me so we could open them together and start building, in his words, “BIG TOWERS!” (@ get rich slowly) [...]
December 26th, 2007 at 8:04 am
Re: managing expectations.
My mom was great at this. Every year, like clockwork, she would say something like, “Well, I don’t think this year will be a very big Christmas.” I think those speeches helped us really appreciate what we got.
Also, mom did not promise us anything for Christmas, ever. It was always, “maybe” or “we’ll see” or “you might get it.”
It chafes me when I hear kids say, “I’m getting this, and this, and this.” I half expect them to pull out the contract they had their parents sign.
Also, I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world for a kid to get upset over not getting something for Christmas, as long as parents use the opportunity to instruct about dealing with disappointment, being gracious, and being grateful for what you have. That is something that must be taught and learned. It doesn’t come naturally.
As a kid, I had a great attitude about Christmas presents, but I can remember a few specific times when my attitude wasn’t so great, and it gives me a tiny pang of guilt to this day. That’s good
December 27th, 2007 at 5:49 am
I do try to manage Christmas but my kids are still young - 5 and 3.5. My 5 year old told me that Santa only brings one gift per child so there is enough to go around. I don’t believe I ever said that so I’m very impressed. He only asks for one thing for birthdays or Christmas. My daughter is still a little young and she just asks for princesses. I try to not spend too much because the kids also recieve from 3 sets of grandparents, 4 uncles/aunts, and 2 cousins. Fortunately the close family buys a gift to unwrap and then gives us money for their 529s. It still is too much I think but we’ll see how it works over the years. There are lots of good ideas here to use in the future.
December 29th, 2007 at 3:01 am
Star Money Articles for the Week of December 24…
Here are some recent interesting posts from the MoneyBlogNetwork and beyond: Get Rich Slowly tells us four things kids want for Christmas. Consumerism Commentary says people fail at financial New Year’s resolutions. AllFinancialMatters tells us what a…
December 30th, 2007 at 11:20 am
[...] a post on Get Rich Slowly, the book Unplug the Christmas Machine, a book about escaping the commercialism of Christmas, is [...]
December 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Hello and Happy Day,
For me growing up, the focus was on giving.
As children and with my own, we went through lots of changes, but one thing was certain. We were all able to carry out a Christmas tradition that was meaningful while respecting others who chose to celebrate in their own way.
No matter how little my parents had (that was very little) we were always encouraged on their example to give a gift to someone, anyone that was in our sphere. It did not matter how little we had and because my parents did not focus on it, we did not realize and even watched television occasionally. Of course we didn’t have money to purchase more than supplies. We made things, did chores for neighbors and we continued this year round. Wasn’t just a Christmas tradition.
We did this at home, with friends, at school and now with our own families.
I have received special and expensive gifts and appreciate the thought and time put in by the giver.
Today the gifts I take care of first are the ones I make, such as sauces, jams, pancake mixes and honey and maple syrup.
I have my own special recipes developed over the years or shared by friends and even the internet.
Accepting change is a process and will always be. Many people will find there is lots less to spend on toys and gifts, because of all the obvious reasons. Some will realize how insane it is to spend extra time working to purchase and pay for gifts when friends and family enjoy a meal, or special coffee or tea and treats together with friends. Some people are rooted in different belief systems and I have learned that they will eventually do what is right for them. Giving is what we foucused on and all of us continue to do and pass down to our children.
Merry Holidays Everyone and Take Good Care of Yourselves.
Cat
December 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I am a frugal person as well but, looking at some of the comments-I am surprised at how much people spend on each child and still say they are frugal! We may spend only $20.00 or as much as $50.00 on our one child but, rarely more.
We will do things like a treasure hunt for a gift to make it more fun or even wrap a gift inside a box, inside a box, etc.
Hand made gifts are so meaningful also especially when they include photos, (which is what I love to give AND receive but rarely ever receive)
So, give a 6 photo album to someone or create a collage you can frame for them-it’s quite meaningful and not all that expensive.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 am
I am probably a strange child but…. I know I remember traditions the most. I also remember the fact that it is my job every year to hand out presents. We open one at a time, in an organized fashion. It takes hours upon hours. I always save my presents for last so I will stay interested in other people’s gifts.