The cluttered lives of middle-class Americans
Long-time readers are familiar with my decade-long war on Stuff. I was raised in a cluttered home. From a young age, I was a collector. (Some might even say a hoarder!) After Kris and I got married, I began to acquire adult-level quantities of Stuff. When we moved to a larger house, I found ways to acquire even more Stuff. I owned thousands of books, thousands of comic books, hundreds of compact discs, and scads of other crap.
Eventually, I’d had enough. A decade ago, I began the s-l-o-w process of de-cluttering.
While I still bring new Stuff into the house — Kim would tell you I bring too much Stuff home — I’m not nearly so acquisitive as I used to be. In fact, for the past decade I’ve purged far more than I’ve acquired. And that process continues, week by week, month by month, year by year.
The Cluttered Lives of the American Middle Class
Turns out, I’m not the only one fighting this battle. Many Americans struggle with clutter. This is one reason for the popularity of the simplicity movement. When I visit my friends who live in tiny houses, they rejoice at the lack of Stuff in their lives. And it’s why books like Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up become popular bestsellers. (That book is great, by the way. Here’s my review from my personal site.)
A while ago, I stumbled on a video that documents the work of a group of anthropologists from UCLA. These researchers visited the homes of 32 typical American families. They wanted to look at how people interacted with their environments, at how they used space. They also wanted to look at how dual-income, middle-class families related to their material possessions. They systematically documented the Stuff people own, where they keep it, and how they use it.
This team produced a book called Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century, which records their findings. They also produced this twenty-minute video that provides an overview of the results:
“Contemporary U.S. households have more possessions per household than any society in global history,” says Jeanne E. Arnold. That’s both shocking and unsurprising all at once.
Her colleague Anthony Graesch notes that our homes reflect this material abundance. “Hyper-consumerism is evident in many spaces,” he says, “like garages, corners of home offices, and even sometimes in the corners of living rooms and bedrooms.”
Graesch continues: “We have lots of Stuff. We have many mechanisms by which we accumulate possessions in our home, but we have few rituals or mechanisms or processes for unloading these objects, for getting rid of them.” All of this stuff causes stress. It carries very real physical and emotional tolls.
One interesting finding? Clutter bothers women more than men. This might be because the responsibility for cleaning the clutter generally falls to women.
“The United States has 3.1% of the world’s children but consumes 40% of the world’s toys,” notes Arnold. In households with children — or, in my case, puppies — the toys can take over the home. Children’s toys and objects spill out of their bedrooms into living areas, kitchens, and bathrooms. The push to become consumers, to value Stuff, starts at an early age.
Why do modern kids have so many toys? It may be because there are so many playthings available so cheaply. There’s more Stuff available for kids than there was fifty years ago, and that Stuff costs less. Plus, priorities seem to have shifted. Modern parents see spending on kids as a priority; parents fifty years ago did not.
Food as Clutter
It’s not just kids, of course. Adults have their own brand of clutter.
For example, many families are guilty of stockpiling. They buy food in bulk, then stack their cupboards and fridges and pantries and garages to the gills. Naturally, most of these are “convenience foods”. (Fresh food wouldn’t keep if bought in bulk like this.)
Researcher Elinor Ochs observes, “If you brought someone from Rome or from a town in Sweden, and you showed them the size of the refrigerator in the kitchen, and then walked them to the garage and they saw the size of the refrigerator in the garage, they would be pretty astonished. The refrigerator, then, becomes something to think about culturally. Why do we have these big refrigerators? And what does that say about food in our society?”
Note: This was something that Kim and I thought about a lot on our RV trip across the U.S. During our fifteen months on the road, we had limited space for food storage. There was a small-ish frige in the motorhome and a few cabinets for non-perishables. At home, we tend to buy food for a week (or more) at a time. And we’re guilty of stockpiling some stuff too. (Don’t ask me how much ketchup I have in the cupboard!) On the road, this was fundamentally impossible. We bought only what we needed for the immediate future. This forced us to be better at meal planning, and it made us much more aware of the kinds of foods we were buying.
The easy availability of convenience foods has some interesting effects on how families relate to each other. Longer ago, the household sat down to eat the same thing at the same time. That’s not true anymore. Nowadays, each person tends to eat what they want, when they want.
“Families have bought into the idea that use of these foods will somehow save time,” Graesch says. But researchers have found that families only save about twelve minutes per meal when they use convenience foods. And at what cost?
Cluttered Space
During their research, the UCLA anthropologists looked at how families used the space in their homes. Unsurprisingly (to me), the kitchen tends to be the hub, the command center of the household.
“Everything transpires in kitchens,” Graesch says. “Activities are organized, schedules are co-ordinated, plans are made for the next day, meals are cooked, kids are doing homework in kitchen spaces. It’s very, very intensively used. A lot of the material culture in kitchens speaks to this logistical center in everyday family lives.”
The refrigerator door is often a center for family artifacts. It’s a place for family history and culture and nostalgia. But, says Arnold, “There seems to be a kind of a correlation between how much Stuff is on the refrigerator panel door and how much stuff is in the broader home.”
Bathrooms, too, can become important places to plan and prepare for the day. They’re staging areas where we get ready to go out into the world.
With all of the chaos in other parts of the home, many parents work hard to make the master bedroom a sort of quiet retreat, a space isolated from the rest of the house. People value their master bedrooms so much, in fact, that they’ll spend to remodel them into the oasis they desire instead of funneling their funds to remove actual bottlenecks (like bathrooms) or to optimize the spaces where the family spends most of its time.
In some ways, the master bedroom has become a symbolic space. It’s a place of refuge.
The Bottom Line
Is clutter a uniquely American problem? I don’t know. I doubt it. But I also suspect that because of our sheer material abundance, more of us struggle with clutter than folks in other countries. (I’d love to hear anecdotes or see stats on this subject, actually. Anyone have those?)
However, I do know that it this is another area where we can take charge of our lives. As I purge Stuff from my life, I gain a greater sense of satisfaction. I feel like I’m in more control of my environment — and myself.
Do you struggle with clutter? Is your home packed to the gills with Stuff? What steps have you taken to get rid of some of this crap? Or have you? (Maybe it doesn’t bother you?)
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There are 80 comments to "The cluttered lives of middle-class Americans".
We live in a 400sqft (when the slide outs are out) motorhome. There’s no room for ‘stuff’. We have a rule, anytime we bring something new in, something old has to go out. 8^)
— jc
I think cultivating a minimalist aesthetic for our homes can be a key to decluttering, as then one has a fun design goal of making a home look a certain way. Here’s a great slideshow re: creating a minimalist home:
https://www.slideshare.net/DanErickson10/12-step-minimalist-home
I’ve had this issue for a while and it brought a lot of stress in my life. Seeing little piles of things I need to go through around our home were super stressful. Most of the time I would just ignore it. Denial was a huge part of it. Just avoiding the fact that I needed to go through these things by adding more activities in my life.
I am proud to say that I’ve FINALLY started confronting it. I’m on day 11 of organizings/purging/de-cluttering. Even after the first day I felt so much better about my environment. Slowly making the type of environment I’ll thrive in
I keep a bag in my condo and each day I add at least one item that needs to ‘go’. It can be a piece of clothing, a pen, a piece of costume jewelry. Then I leave the bag by my garage can for the weekly pickup and it always seems to ‘disappear’ before the trash pickup. Getting rid of one thing a day keeps decluttering top of mind.
I have one of those bags too 🙂 When I was growing up, we always had a bag or box in the basement for donations. I often don’t have big blocks of time to dedicate to de-cluttering, but if I see something in a closet I don’t use or no longer need, I can rid of it right then and there.
I tend to buy magazines and books about things like cooking, crafting, even decluttering (!) instead of actually doing the above. (I do cook, though.) They sit around forever, because I paid good money for that Stuff, I’m not going to just throw it out! I don’t shop for recreation nearly as much as I used to, it seems I’m always pulling out the credit card. Yet when I actually clean a room, I anxious because it doesn’t look normal.
I’m American but live in France … whatever trend starts in the US eventually makes it over here. So here too, people are now living much more cluttered lives than before.
I HATE clutter with a vengeance. My home isn’t perfect, but it’s quite good. My DH has TONS of clutter, um, collections. He still can’t get rid of the Stuff he brought over here from abroad after his parents died and he emptied out their house. (His mom was a hoarder.) Hell, he can’t even get rid of his favorite clothes from HS and he’s 61 LOL.
My solution has been to give him 50% of the basement storage room (we don’t have a garage or an attic). He has half the (huge) desk PLUS a separate file cabinet … to himself. I manage myself, the 4 kids (now adults) and all the rentals with the same space he has for just himself, not even the house.
But when DH’s Stuff starts to affect the general house (ie me), the solution is easy: either he chucks/organizes his Stuff, or I do.
I enforce a one in, one out rule for DH. (I use a one in, two out rule for myself.) DH’s Stuff is a constant struggle. He goes through his clothes only when his shelves collapse from the weight. He has 2/3 of all of our closet space.
But, our house is quite uncluttered. People can drop in anytime. I never need to “clean up” or “make the house presentable” when people come over.
As far as food goes, I go through the pantry / fridge regularly. We are quite broke these days (youngest child at college) so we have been living out of the freezer/pantry since our youngest left for college in Sept. We have had to restock certain items, but far fewer than you’d think.
We still buy fresh foods of course, but making the decision to “clean out the pantry / freezer” kept us going for much longer than we would have originally thought.
Personally I have no problem with convenience foods … we cook from scratch 4 or 5 times a week so I have no problem with using convenience foods the rest of the time.
This is still very different here in France, where most people still cook most meals (probably not the youngest working generation though).
Uh oh! We have two different readers named “dh” commenting! 🙂
It’s definitely an issue here in Canada too! I think part of the issue is that we don’t like to admit our mistakes – or perhaps we don’t give our frugal selves room to make mistakes.
For instance, I’m often hesitant to try new things because I’m afraid I’ll waste money. But, how do you know until you try? Not all of my clothing purchases are perfect – sometimes I’ll try a new colour or new style and end up not loving it after all. Sometimes I’ll wear it for years. I’ve been known to buy the odd gadget or small appliance that rarely gets used. People rave about slower cookers, but I used mine once.
So I can berate myself for wasting money, or I can say “You gave it a try and it didn’t work. Move on.” I think part of the reason I feel so good about decluttering is turning a negative emotion (“I wasted money on…”) into something positive (“someone else is going to get a lot of use from this”). My slow cooker might as well have been in a landfill for all the good it was doing in my cupboard – I’m happy knowing it went to someone who uses it a lot.
I’m not a big fan of Marie Kondo, but I do love William Morris’s “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”.
Throughout college, my first move into freshman dorms was much faster/easier than moving into my last apartment 4 years later. The amount of stuff accumulated for living on my own was crazy.
Thankfully, as I changed into an adult and moved to another city, I was able to get rid of the stuff not needed or upgrade the cheap wal mart items that were all I could afford. My favorite being a new iron!!
Kids these days have video games, tablets, and more. It was so much more fun to go outside and make our own games instead :D. Great post and good luck with your s-l-o-w process!
This takes time, but I value experiences over materialistic items. No materialistic thing can replace the time I had in x place or the conversation I had with x person I met. Yes, I am a consumer and I do see myself buying items, but I do monthly purges. Other than sentimental items, it goes like this: It has served its purpose while I had it and I haven’t touched it for 2 years now. Time to let it go because someone else will value it lot more than I will right now. Should I need it again, I am sure I can find a way to it again. I will be honest, most of the time you won’t need it again. If you do, you will find a way to manage without it or find an alternative solution.
I don’t like clutter and am always organizing, donating, and recycling. I don’t buy much and when I do I shop used! My honey on the other hand is kind of attached to her things so most of my reducing is not having much of an impact!
J.D., I just want to thank you for your blog. I have looked at many, but yours is the only one I have bookmarked and checked daily. It has really helped me to refocus my thinking and prioritize our future. I love the rotating sayings that appear at the top of your page; they remind me of what is important. I really appreciate your honesty and transparency. It is so helpful!
Lets me begin by saying as a former Russian who lived in a tiny space there (which is normal, you know, over there), I never had clutter, and despite moving to US at the young age and spending the second half (so far half) part of my life among Americans, I never gained a taste for it (clutter). May be it’s in the family – my sister is like that (she is still there – we almost have a wage who has least possessions…ok, not really, but I am just trying to make a point). I cook from scratch too (another habit I brought over here). Anyway, my husband (American), who works at the corporation dealing with markets and finances (in a nutshell), after watching the video, sparked my thinking process playing a devil’s advocate. Say, Americans consume 40% of world’s toys (or whatever else). We all together become more minimalist (yay, said I!), and the production of toys has to be reduced by, say, 30% now. China corporations producing those toys will have to cut work forces (a.k.a. people, and probably their salaries of those who stays). With fewer toys on the market, we, here in US, will need fewer distributors – stores, trucks driving them, planes shipping them, people planning how many to purchase, etc. People loose jobs (just like in China) right here, in US. Their buying power reduces (the people who don’t work now and are on financial assistance, can’t go buy much of other stuff, even if they need it). So, the other stuff that is not bought anymore in quantities it used to (say, computers, books, shoes, dresses…you name it) needs to be produced less as well – in China, where else. China lays off more workers. US lays off more workers…
Anyway, I am fully aware in US we will NEVER ALL decide to go minimalist. Not gonna happen with the entitlement and matching to Jones’s attitude. But, this point (of devil’s advocate) did make me think. In an ideal world, I see more people who don’t need stuff being hired out to do things like building roads we need, may be produce cars on this soil, computers…with the rising costs of those (of course, not in China anymore) we will not be able to – nor would we want to (minimalist, right?) buy lots of those things, but we will buy just enough to get by, and everybody is happy.
How visible and how fast can THIS kind of shift happen? Thoughts on economic impact of the movement we, readers of financial blogs, seem to stand by and want to spread wide and far?
That was an interesting post. My wife and I fall in the middle. We only keep reference books that we will use in the future. We pass novels on and hope to not get them back. We also give away cloths to Goodwill that we do not wear. We did, however, add a pantry to the third bedroom in our house that was not being used. That has led us to now stock up on food. We now have shelves of canned goods, paper products, and other processed foods. We will have to monitor this and not let it get out of control.
I let the cutter accumulate when my kids were tiny and now I’m starting to dig out. It’s a slow process as I’m working on while I’m doing a half dozen other projects that just won’t sit back and wait. We don’t actually buy toys for our kids, but they accumulate none the less from gifts and their own ability to collect. I have found that as I get older it’s easier to get rid of stuff as I can afford to replace it if I need it. It was so much harder to get rid of things until recently because the investment to replace things wasn’t worth the space to store it.
It’s also slower going because while I would just donate everything my kids are at that age where they want to get jobs but aren’t old enough to be productive. So I told them they could start a little consignment business with their old stuff, so we have a stack of garage sale/consignment stuff that won’t start moving until we go to the community garage sale this summer and then the fall consignment sales. So anything we could sell for more than $3 is being saved for now.
Our place is small and it is pretty full. At this point, we try to buy only replacement items. That’s tough when you have a kid because toys just get stockpiled.
Our fridge is about half the size of a regular one. It’s working out well for us, but we still wish for a bigger fridge sometime.
Great post. Clutter is definitely a problem in the U.S.
It can be so even for frugal families like mine. Mainly via gifts from other people, specially from our parents to our daughter. Last weekend we got tired enough of our clutter to put a new “policy” in place:
For every item that enters the house, two items have to go. Look forward to seeing the outcome!
So true Juan. My mom is constantly buying the grand kids toys, though mostly second hand from the markets. The interesting thing is that my 7 year old niece now expects a new thing every week from Grandma which I think is even worse than the space the toys take up.
I don’t think we’re too bad, but I’ve still been on a declutter kick for a while. I continue to look for more stuff to get rid of and try to limit what comes into the house. This is getting more and more difficult as we’re anticipating a little one in Sept.
Thanks for sharing this. The YouTube vid was super interesting. Quite intriguing when you look at these things from an anthropologists perspective and consider what it says about our society.
I’ve definitely been guilty of “collecting” especially as a kid and then I just kept it all as the years went on. I stumbled on The Minimalists a few years ago and have significantly downsized, but every once in a while stuff starts to creep. I’m due for cleaning out my closet and cupboard but have been procrastinating because they both have doors I can close to ignore the problem.
Part of the problem is I was taking the time to sell some of the items, but at this point, I really just need to donate it all and be done with it, I hate having clutter or working in a messy environment.
Thanks for sharing this story JD. So many interesting points. From my background in architecture and sustainability, stuff really fascinates me. It’s definitely a problem in Australia – we have the world’s biggest houses and yet everywhere you see cars parked on the driveway in front of double lock up garages because they are jammed full of stuff. And I do see friends and family being psychologically burdened by their stuff, because it’s always pilling up and demanding their time to try and sort it out.
On the issue of kids toys, my toddler has heaps. They were all hand me downs from her cousins and she couldn’t care less about 99% of them. The grown up stuff is sooo much more interesting! Like our overstuffed pantry; the plastic packaging makes such a nice crinkling sound 🙂
When we first moved to Portland, we lived in a 486SF studio with a 120 SF storage unit that were mainly filled with car parts to keep my husband’s Datsun project running. The house that we bought was 1144 SF with an apartment for my mother. We didn’t know how we would ever fill that much space. Now, we feel like we are ridiculously cramped. When we started, it was the two of us; now it’s three generations on one property, so three adults, one toddler, and one growing business. Oddly enough, the most space in our house is used by our office. I wonder how much of the clutter is people experience in the United States vs. other countries is due to our inefficiencies in work-life balance.
Now we are looking at purchasing a much larger house, larger than I ever thought I would purchase. Our hope is that it will give us more room to have more life and less stuff. With our cramped space we don’t socialize the way we would like to which has increased stuff in lieu of connection. Also, as a Realtor you’d think I would like house selling or house shopping, and that would be false. In every way, shape, and form.
I agree with most of this, except for food. We got paid once a month and so stocked up with enough to get our family of five through that time. This made a freezer a necessity, and it was filled with things from the day-old bread store, vegetables, and so on. We also regularly bought a quarter cow or half a lamb and I did a lot of close-to-scratch cooking. Yes, we had pizzas, too, but less processed foods than many families. I am not a “health nut”, but very aware of good nutrition.
My apologies for this being off topic.
Just discovered MoneyBoss after folling JD on Get Rich Slowly for years. Saw he had another site, farawayplaces.com, in which he details a trip around the United States in an RV. But the blog posts end in April of 2016.
I was curious if JD and Kim completed their year-long quest, or did they decide to cut the trip short?
Thanks for any update.
Marc
One of my grandmothers, her daughter, my mom, is a hoarder (she keeps everything that comes across her path, no matter how useless or unattractive. The other is a collector. She’s very selective about what she displays in her home, but she seeks out things to bring in, and has no qualms about getting rid of things she no longer wants.
The thing that keeps me from being a collector of most things, is environmental stewardship. I was in a recycling club in grade school, and the images of plastic trash in and around the oceans completely turned me off of plastic “things”.
I have several natural collections on the other hand (stones, gems, feathers). I also have a small collection of antique glass bottles.
Growing up with hoarding family made me averse to “things”, and having lots of things just for the sake of having them. My interests lie in the beauty and design of everyday useful items, which is why I think I love architectural and interior design elements such as kitchenware, dishware, rugs, tile work and woodwork, windows, skylights. And landscaping: gardening.
I figure when you have a beautiful space, it speaks for itself, and the inclusion of “stuff” diminishes the beauty and quality.
Even as a kid it was hard for me to relate to a hunk of plastic or a stuffed animal. I had toys bc my friends liked to play with them, but when they left, the toys went back in the cupboard. I enjoyed things like making dioramas, and log cabins out of sticks from the yard, crushing plants to making “medicine” and soups in discarded soup cans (with real fire..we didn’t have a lot of supervision).
My favorite thing to do was to pick a log from the log pile (or a branch from a tree), and spend the afternoon stripping bark, sandpapering the wood smooth, and either staining it or painting it with bright acrylics.
My grandfather and dad built a wooden playhouse (still in my parent’s yard), and my favorite thing to do was paint it. Every time someone had leftover paint, I’d beg for it so I could paint my “house”, and my friends would help too.
I remember my friends having collections of Barbie dolls and stuffed animals in their room, and I thought I was weird, bc I just didn’t get it.
So maybe people are either born with it or not. In my mother’s case, she hoards bc she didn’t have much growing up. My maternal grandmother, bc she didn’t have much and was afraid to let go of what she did have. And my paternal grandmother I think just liked to spend her time antiquing so it was a hobby for her.
The more I think about it, I wonder if American consumption of toys has to do with the increasing trend of keeping kids close to, or inside of the home. Or inside a controlled setting like daycare. I might be reaching but with both parents working more and more, and care centers needing to care for more kids at once and keep them occupied, means less time for exploration and hands on enrichment activities.
My niece and nephew used to love exploring the yard (my nephew’s favorite game at 2 years old was endlessly sawing 2x4s with a dull saw, and hammering nails into wood), and my niece like picking snails and helping in the garden. This is in America suburbia too, not the country. They showed little interest in few toys they got, unless it was something they could use outdoors.
Their grandparents watched them until they started going to daycare a few days a week, then preschool 5 days per week. Suddenly they started wanting more toys, and to stay indoors more and more. We have to kick them outside now at the ages of 7 and 11.
While they still don’t actively ask for toys, and seem to have less desire for them…their rooms are sparse with toys, technology has their attention and they are more and more obsessed by it. My 11 year old nieces current head goal in life, is getting her first iPhone. My 12 and 14 year old nephews (brother’s kids), both have an iOS 7, newer than my phone.
My 12 year old granddaughter has no interest in outside any more. She used to takes walks with me and ride her bike when she came to our house. Now it’s technology, 24/7, although she is a reader, too, which seems increasingly rare.
Both sets of parents in our case are hoarders. I don’t ever want to live like that. We still struggle a bit but we try regular trips to good will for clean out.
I definitely struggle with stuff, but for me it is often an issue of how things should be organized and finding the time. I don’t have a stack of papers in my dining room because I have some emotional attachment to them, but because I don’t have a good system for when to go through them. I really identify with the concept of not having a way of purging stuff. My problem isn’t so much that I’ve accumulated stuff I don’t need as I haven’t gotten rid of it when I don’t need it anymore. Just this morning I was going through old textbooks that we’ve had for over a decade. I’ve been ready to get rid of them for a long time, but they take up space until I make the time to sort them and determine their fate.
I also struggle with mess. Sometimes its “stuff” but often it’s everyday items that i gorget to put away. I have found that keeping things clean has rules and principles that I never learned, so I’m trying to learn them and make them habits. When i have control of mess it’s easier to see what I can get rid of and we are slowly doing that.
It is a lot easier to acquire new stuff than it is to get rid of old stuff. As noted in the article, stuff is so cheap nowadays. Some stuff is even acquired with little to no effort one your part: papers come in the mail, gifts are given to you and your family, etc.
But getting rid of stuff takes an effort. If you have a family, they may also wants a vote. Even if they don’t veto your attempt, the mere friction of having to find the time ask them raises the effort exponentially.
We don’t buy a lot of stuff, but it adds up over the years. I still have my old laptop from 2 iteration ago. It’s hard to throw out stuff.
The best purge we ever did was when we moved from our 2,000 sq ft house into a smaller condo. We sold and gave away a ton of stuff. That was 10 years ago and our condo is full of stuff again. It’s time to purge, but I’ll wait until we move. It’s just easier because the more stuff we throw out, the less we’ll have to move. Hopefully in a year or two…
Loved moving to our new place after wife retired. Moved from big Virginia house to much smaller retirement house in South Carolina. Got rid of sooo much Stuff! Interesting, our 4 kids did NOT want our stuff. Even Stuff from their grade school days we had been saving. Not our beautiful, expensive furniture. Nada!
Goodwill, Salvation Army made out like bandits.
The only thing we are allowed to bring into our new, smaller home is food.
We did keep some of the kids grade school stuff and yes they re-thought about it and they wanted it.
But what a great purge!
That’s a common experience. My parents retired and moved out of their big 4BR house into a small 2 BR condo. I didn’t want their stuff. They had heavy, outdated furniture that I wouldn’t want had they offered. One of my parents mails me things that they believe I ascribed sentimental value to at one point in time. When I receive them normally I’m totally dumbfounded as to why they would think I’d want it, and end up giving the items to Goodwill because they’re useless tchotchkes that I don’t have space for.
I try to be conscious about the items I bring into my life and regularly rethink what I own and whether I still need it. I’m less sentimental about objects than I used to be, and this approach has helped to keep my living space decluttered.
We’re selling the house next year and moving into an RV to travel and find a new state in which to settle down. Getting rid of almost everything is necessary, but paralyzing!
My mom was a hoarder largely because she was an elementary school teacher and EVERYTHING was kept for use as possible art supplies later. I have photos of my bedroom in high school being filled with boxes labeled things like “fabric scraps” just because we didn’t have space for all of it elsewhere. And this was on top of the storage locker my mom had for all of the sentimental stuff.
I was the lucky one. All of my possessions left at home during my stay in my tiny college dorm room were destroyed in a house fire the year after I left. I entered my adult life with a share of the insurance money and none of the baggage. I generally only hold on to what I need, because losing everything I owned taught me that none of that stuff was important. My older sister had already graduated and reclaimed her stuff when she moved out before the fire, so now despite having a larger house, she owns way too many things she won’t get rid of and wants to buy a bigger house because she feels cramped in hers.
Why did I still have that drawing from elementary school? That t-shirt full of holes that my grandmother bought for me when I was 9? My memories are still here, and the stuff only complicates my life, makes it take longer to find things when I’m looking for them. If something no longer has a use, it gets donated (or thrown out, if it’s too personalized or worn out for anyone to want it).
It’s so freeing to be looking for something in my house, and not need to take hours of searching through boxes to find it. To know if it’s not in this box, we don’t have one, because there’s nowhere else I could have put it. To have free space on tables and counters to put things down because it’s not already filled with stuff that doesn’t have anywhere to go.
I can’t believe it but I am envious of someone who lost everything in a fire. Perspective; thanks for sharing!
Finally moving my Mom out of the house that I grew up in last year has renewed a desire in me to have less. Her house didn’t seem too bad on the surface, but once we dug through all the closets and the attic, it got bad. It just adds up. And 90% of it was unnecessary junk.
bet it wasn’t “junk” to your mom though. I have a sister-in-law that constantly gives her mom crap for the stuff she has. I’m not going to mind renting a dumpster if needed when I have to clean out the house – it makes her happy. My s-i-l on the other hand isn’t happy unless she’s throwing out something out, even if it doesn’t belong to her
It can be overwhelming to clear out stuff, which for me can cause me to just throw my hands up. And I realized excess stuff prevents me from actually using the stuff that matters, or pursuing hobbies still relevant to me. That said, a lot of my struggle to purge “stuff” relates to items with sentimental value, including big stuff like furniture and art work.
One thing I did discover was scanning most of my kids’ art and many of my sentimental papers, freed me to recycle/shred/trash. I think paper clutter is my one – hopefully first – triumph. Scanning stuff – with backups in place for important documents – has really helped.
Now on to comic books and other “important stuff” I need to purge.
Ditto, Will. It’s as if we share the same mindset. I have been avoiding tackling my bedroom clutter for quite a while; even breaking it down into smaller steps hasn’t worked yet. But I feel like a “first triumph” will give the much needed momentum. Thank you for your tips!
Stuff. It has its own category on my todo list! Those items are mostly large-scale projects I’m saving for upcoming retirement (Digitize/archive photos; cull library; re-design garage, etc.).
We cut down on clutter by rethinking our house entryway where stuff enters and often accumulates (stacks of mail, outerwear, boots….).
First we installed hooks and a shoe tray, re-designed the coat closet, and gave each household member a drawer for gloves/hats/scarves. Seasonally, we rotate things, and once a year we purge these spots.
In terms of mail, almost all our bills are paperless and on auto-pay, but catalogues and other mail still pours in. I used to lug it up two flights of stairs to my office where I would process it and then lug the trash back down; then I realized what a waste of effort that was. When we re-did the kitchen, we installed a desk with a shredder underneath, steps from the front door and mailbox. The mail is stacked there until I periodically review it, shred bits with our address on it, and recycle the rest of the paper. I also periodically return mail to senders with notes to take us off their lists; sometimes it works.
Funny how hard it is to re-think how we use our space and where the clutter accumulates, but analyzing the flow of it and re-designing it can result is much better efficiency….and so much less clutter!
The more I moved, the more I wanted to make sure I only had stuff that had an immediate need. I got tired of schlepping boxes full of junk from one place to the next. My general thought is that if I have to move stuff to get to stuff, there’s a problem. As a Scout leader I do have a habit of hoarding craft supplies and recyclables but when it exceeds my couple of bins I allow myself, I try to purge. It is a constant process and requires vigilance.
It is interesting to see how family members struggle with this based on their history. I spent a lot of time as a kid with my great-aunts who grew up in a rural area during the Great Depression and saved EVERYTHING from the cotton in the tops of vitamin bottles to bits of string. It had become a lifelong habit and when they passed away, the house was full of stuff that wasn’t even usable and had to be trashed. I also knew a woman who was a child in Europe during WW2 and she was another who saved massive amounts of stuff and had a huge food stockpile, much of which often went out of date before consumed. The dots connected for me when she was telling me stories about how little food and access to material items they had during and immediately following the war. Those traumas add an extra layer to the whole issue of hoarding and clutter.
Almost invariably soon after I’ve disposed of something (other than food) I need it. Whether it’s a random notice mailed to me for which I could see no future use (issue finalized, account closed, or other resolved scenario), or the box something came in, a week after it has been irretrievably disposed of a critical issue comes up requiring said item. I could site dozens, perhaps hundreds of examples, and that’s the problem. This has caused me to doubt what is possibly discardable, because everything seems so discardable. I have a saying I picked up somewhere “when in doubt, throw it out.” My watch-phrase against clutter has gotten me into hot water so many times I don’t have the heart to follow it any more. The result is my organization system has become so complex as to be almost unworkable. Add to that the need to operate as an attorney for others and the issue is multiplied.
My family grew up poor. We didn’t have much of anything, food included. I was hungry so much as a child I vowed as an adult I’d never go hungry, nor would anyone in my household. Nobody does. I don’t put anybody through the torture I had been (dumpster-diving for discarded restaurant left-overs, going to bed just so I would’t feel hunger pains). When my parents did give us gifts, we felt guilty for enjoying them, because they berated us on how ungrateful we were, that we were so much better off than they were when they were our age. As time has passed, I now doubt there tales of their own poverty were real, more a fanciful tale of caution, & belittlement. Thus I am generous with gifts as well. I don’t want anybody I give a gift to feel lucky, like they didn’t deserve the gift, because I don’t went them to suffer from the same sort of manipulative, passive-aggressivion I did.
Thus, we have stuff. Not go-out-and-get-off-site-storage stuff, but more than enough. A bit more than “enough.”
Hubby and I have been on a two year quest to de-clutter. It takes time because after all, it took 17 years to clutter so it would be impossible to de-clutter in a day. Anyway, we’re almost done.
I wanted to let you know that while I was watching this video, I stopped it five times. Once to declutter this shelf in my office that was bothering me. Next to declutter a draw in my office that was over-run with junk, pencils and crap. Another time to declutter the top draw of my bedroom side table. Another time to declutter my kitchen junk draw and then finally I purged the remaining things that annoyed me in my husband’s closet and our coat closet. By the time the movie was over, I had decluttered all the little things that I had been putting off since they were so small (but annoying) to begin with.
So, thank you for that! My interior home is now done! We still have a bit more in the basement and garage, but I may need another one of your videos for that! LOL!
We’ve moved 3 times in 5 years. Its a great (but kinda expensive) way to get rid of stuff you don’t want or will not use. The result is our new home is much less cluttered and is easier to keep clean.
I live in a 750 square foot one-bedroom apartment with my husband and as a result, we have become pretty militant about clutter and stuff. Nothing comes in unless something else goes out. I’m also a master at selling stuff on Craigslist and Ebay. It can, however, feel like its own job sometimes, this unending war on stuff. I’ve seen friends have to clear out their parents’ 3,000 square foot houses and the emotional toll that it takes on all involved.
I love to purge, and try to buy less, but just when I think I cleaned it all out more comes in. That happens with two kids birthday parties and holidays, as well as my husband’s hobbies and my desire to cook all sorts of foods and utilize gadgets galore. Add in two dogs, and no matter how minimal I try to keep our home the ‘stuff’ just keeps coming back.
This post was timely for me, as this summer I am building a capsule wardrobe and going to finally give away all of the smaller clothes that no longer fit me. I held on to them for 3 years post-baby and yet, I haven’t lost much at all. At this point, when I do lose the weight, I’ll be so delighted I’d rather buy new quality pieces.
So, I’m starting with myself and my closet (even though I purged A TON reading Kondo’s book) and then moving into other parts of the house. I feel our kids will have a hard time getting rid of things, but they also don’t play with MANY of the toys they have. Paring down will be majorly helpful to restore a sense of order and then we can try to keep it all at bay!
We’re going to sell the house and live in our RV once I retire, which will be no later than 1/31/19. I am consumed with getting rid of “stuff” but worried about how I’ll be able to keep the things I actually want, which in my case is books. I love books and no e-reader is ever going to fill the gap. I have thousands of books. I can probably (and have been) give away 80% of them, but what do I do with the rest? I can digitize my pictures (for a price) and upload my CD’s to the cloud (requiring acquiring something to listen to them), but I can’t give up the Christmas ornaments I’ve collected since I was 18. I love to cook and have a lot of cooking tools/pans that I’ll have to make really hard decisions about. The rest of it will go. It will bring peace of mind. Just going on vacation and being in an uncluttered condo confirms that. Knowing that we’ll be downsizing makes not buying anything new easy!
Hi. If you have not spent at least a month living in a RV before, I strongly advise waiting 6 months to a year before selling your house…unless you know you would definitely move if you decided RV life no longer appealed. I have known two couples to sell houses to live in their RVs only to regret the decision shortly thereafter.
One couple stayed in the RV for 18 months to make sure that “getting used to living that lifestyle” would make life better only to conclude that they just disliked it that much more. The other couple nearly separated because the close quarters made them both grumpy all the time.
I hope you have better luck with your choice.
I feel for some of the posters here. I am the child of a clutterer and a packrat. I had my ticket to Hoardsville myself, until I had an epiphany and realized this runs contrary to my values.
To those dealing with a cluttering parent(s): just remember to always be sensitive, and a pillow is an excellent object in which to scream (in private).
At age 70 I decided to retire and closed my business. My house is an accumulation of my life as well as all the hobbies I’ve had over the years and now have time to do. Do I do them? no. Decided it is time to thin things out, simplify my life so I can really retire. My house was broken into by relatives and while I am angry and sad for the loss, the stuff they took I can live without. And that has lead me to realize I can live without all my accumulations, but want it to go to someone who will appreciate it. I don’t want to just throw it in a dumpster. Young people don’t want or appreciate stuff from their elders, they call it junk, so who will want it?
Im sorry to hear that family did that to you 🙁 As for getting rid of the stuff, separate into what can be sold (to make some extra cash for a trip or something nice for yourself) and what you want to give away. Depending on what it is, you can try schools, daycares, cub/boy scouts, and there are ‘for free’ sections on craigslist and facebook groups for your area. I normally go thru them looking for any free paint or art items. Good luck with everything.
I am a 48-year-old mother of two (17 and 22). if I had to, I could pack up and leave our four-bedroom split level ranch in a day or so. It took a few years of decluttering (I read the Kondo book three times in the process), but now truly everything I own sparks joy.
It’s a game-changer. Try it and you will see! – cj
My wife and I both grew up in desperate poverty. Indeed, the first few years of our life together we lived in poverty. growing up in poverty was a life of doing without or, at best, getting used things. Second hand clothes, second hand toys, second hand bike, second hand skates, second hand comic books, etc.
Today, we’re retired. We aren’t wealthy, but we live in modest comfort. Now that I can afford some nice things I buy them, in quantities that are really more than I need. I like tools and tech gadgets like cameras, binoculars, flashlights, calculators and radios, especially radios. I have about 40 of them, all very high quality.
Now that we have a winter property in Florida, I’m starting to duplicate what I have at home to have a second one in Florida.
Is this a sickness? Maybe
I have a strange history with Stuff (at least it seems strange to me). Growing up, I had collections throughout my bedroom– keychains, hats, books, coins, stamps, art supplies, poetry on random sheets of paper, pictures from magazines, clothes, dolls, glass bottles, etc… most of which I never used, or didn’t fit me anymore, or were breaking down, or weren’t a collection I was actively trying to complete. I hesitate to use the word “hoarder,” because I never kept any actual trash (arguably; but everything I kept was very sanitary and had a “purpose” even if I rarely/never used it), but it was a barely controlled chaos. My parents were rather unhappy about it. They would frequently threaten to invade my room and stuff everything into garbage bags “Like Dad did when you were four” if I didn’t keep it all neat, clean, and out of the way. I had intense sentimental attachment to EVERYTHING and trouble getting rid of it. Found out many years later that children cling to objects far more intensely when they’re told things might be taken away, so my poor parents’ attempts to deal with my clutter really backfired!
My parents did teach me how to pack an efficient suitcase for traveling, though, and that was the beginning of my simpler life. We traveled every year as a family, so I had time to properly learn the skills of Tetris– I MEAN SUITCASE PACKING– and the frequent traveling I did as a young adult, and the restrictions of living in military dormitories, cemented in my mind that there were objects I “needed” and plenty that was “luxury” and “unnecessary.” I needed eight days’ worth of socks and underwear, and a haircomb. I did not need fifty pairs of socks in every possible cloth and shade of blue, or a hair straightener and assorted haircare products. I needed one summer ballcap, not eight. I didn’t need my hundreds of issues of X-Men, or the dozen Barbie dolls, or the stacks of daily poetry I had to report on in the fourth grade. Or the binder full of French lessons that I was never going to use again. I needed every book written by Tamora Pierce… but maybe not every volume of every series of CLAMP manga.
Then I moved into my own apartment, and all of a sudden my furniture and possessions that had been left in my parents’ home was… with my again. And as cluttered as my bedroom has felt, all those possessions did NOTHING to fill up my apartment, because the master bedroom alone was twice the size of my childhood bedroom. I panicked, I felt alienated in my new home, and strove to fill it up as quickly as possible with cheap Target and Walmart furniture, new books, decorations for the walls and mantle, even a big rug– despite our apartment being fully carpeted. I even bought a huge TV and some gaming consoles, despite not being interested in video games.
And then I lost it all.
Twice.
I developed a very unhealthy relationship with Stuff after that, as if I didn’t have an unhealthy enough relationship to begin with. I would buy pretty things, art supplies, books, to make myself feel better about my life. Who hasn’t done that? But then within a week, I would throw them out, or donate them to Goodwill, or gift them, because I couldn’t stand to have Stuff around me. For over a year, I refused to have more than a futon and a cheap bookshelf in my bedroom, insisting that everything not immediately in use stay in my suitcase. I was convinced down to my core that I had to be ready to lose my house at any time, and I didn’t want to own anything that couldn’t be swiftly packed back in the suitcase and carried out with me. I dared not get attached to anything, even family heirlooms. I nearly shipped those home, except that I had become paranoid of things getting lost in the mail, too. Every time I got rid of some Stuff, whether it was freshly-bought or old, I felt a sense of relief; there was now less to lose.
I ended up in psychiatric treatment, for this and other scars. After a while, I heard that a friend was moving to a smaller place, and I bought some real wood furniture from him, including a beautiful wooden dressing screen of the sort I’ve frivolously wanted since I was a kid. I have a display case for the one collection I keep as an adult: rocks. I have a small desk that doesn’t fill any more space than it needs to, a coffee table, a low dresser, and the shelf in my closet holds the few dozen books I’ve kept, most of them research books for work, down from the 900+ scifi/fantasy novels I once owned. I still hoard a bit– I don’t really NEED to keep all these empty boxes and types of packing material in the unused part of my closet, it’s just lingering paranoia about having to move house without warning– but I’m doing better. The big trick for me is to keep everything in sight; out of sight, out of mind, and then I get the creeping feeling that I might have Too Much Stuff in a cabinet or drawer, and I tear my room apart to find it and throw it out. If it’s all on open shelves (even my closet door is left open, so I can see all my clothes at a glance), properly framed on my walls, and in glass-fronted displays, then I can see what I have. And therefore, what I don’t have. I am comfortably, colorfully surrounded. But I can be sure that all I have is what I “need” and can take with me– or replace if it gets left behind.
“Like Dad did when you were four” was probably the very start of all of it. I’m sorry that happened to you. 🙁 also, im sorry for your losses.I hope that you can work on it more and start to feel more comfortable and less stressed <3
I’m a recovering collector who is busy unclutterfying the house. Nowadays, before I buy a non-food item I ask myself these questions:
1.) Does it have a function?
2.) Is it an essential function?
3.) Will I still be using it for that function in 6 – 12 months?
4.) And this is the most important question – How long until it ends up in a landfill? After all, that is the ultimate destination of every single item you buy – the landfill. It may be 6 months, 6 years or 6 decades…but its all going into the landfill. Why waste money on landfill filler?
I’m a hoarder of crp and it sucks. Especially paper and books! I’m worried I’ll need my Schwab statement from 11 years ago and it will have aged out from the website (note the word “need” – should be in quotes!).
The worst thing is I will occasionally need something from my pile of crp!
My wife is much better but not perfect (she has boxes from 05 or so!) and our little one won’t throw away a single toy!
Is there a Hoarders Anonymous??!
You’d be interested in the picture book entitled Material World. In it, all the possessions of a family is displayed outside their dwelling – of families all over the world. The Texas family had most except for some sheik’s family in the Mid East.
I have a problem with clutter because I think I’ll use things in craft projects / sell things on eBay / give things to charity. Some of the stuff is related to self-image: If you think you’re a great cook, you may have a huge collection of cookbooks, for example. It’s much easier to bring things into the house than to put them away in an organized manner.
My great revelation came when I realized that the only person who got to decide what had sentimental meaning for me was me. I had kept a lot of stuff because other people thought it should have meaning for me – “Of course you’ve always loved grandpa’s old chair, so you must take it” and “I saved this for you because I knew you’d want it”… Of course this is more complicated when you live with other people who also have their own feelings, but just knowing that I’m not obligated to love and keep things that I don’t actually love and want to keep was very freeing. I now live alone in a spacious one bedroom apartment, and while other people might feel that I still have too many books, to me they feel like the right amount. there’s room for all the bookcases, no stacks of books on the floor or in the corner, so I think I’m good.
I sold my 4 bedroom house, after 27 years of use, and moved into a 2 bedroom condo. The De-cluttering started two years before, and we still had ten boxes of stuff to send to Goodwill after the move! The big move happens next year when I retire and we move overseas to be near my daughter. There is a huge incentive to downsize when you consider the cost of shipping overseas.
I don’t think “stockpiling” food necessarily means you’re a hoarder. It depends very much on how it’s done. Canned goods have a long shelf life – in most cases well beyond the “best by” date on the can. Having a year’s (or more) supply of canned and non-perishable food, like well-packaged pasta and other dried food, can make sense if you live far from grocery stores, believe that natural or man-made disasters are, if not probable, at least possible. Food should be clearly dated and rotated, using the oldest first. I use a bold black magic marker on each can or box. Obviously, this requires space, but even a decent sized closet, if well organized with shelves, will hold a year’s supply. We often buy food in quantity when it’s available at discount. I see nothing pathological about this. Indeed, too many people don’t realize that the food supply chain even in advanced countries like US could easily be disrupted. In fact, we rely more on long distant transport for food than “third world” nations that tend to buy food locally. Think about the empty shelves in areas where natural disasters have occurred.
I always have a ‘give away box’ in the laundry room and I am constantly putting things in it that I find around the house. I encourage my 3 kids to tidy up an area of their rooms or go through their clothes drawer after every season and give me the clothing that is too small or that they don’t wear. I have purged many, many things over the past few years. It amazes me that it *still* seems like we have too much ‘stuff’. We live in a smaller house but I just want to keep getting rid of stuff to create space. My biggest clutter challenge is the main area/kitchen that is right near the front door. The counter ends up being my workspace, my desk area and where I put everything that I want to keep on the top of my to-do list. Hence, there is a lot of stuff there that I need to get into the habit of decluttering so that it doesn’t pile up. We are having a family party here on Sunday and I realize that my counter-cluttering project needs to be top priority tomorrow!! I am a work in progress I guess!
This article is not the end all to truth, with regard to having things. For example, I like having a food supply. It’s saved my butt a couple times in my life. It may again. That same concept applies to other emergency situations caused by flood, fire and so on, whether it’s because I was cut off from civilization or because I was broke.
Then there is the “I’m running a business” thing. A pint of stain doesn’t cut it, because it’s gone too quick and I have to drive for an hour, one way, to get another.
In short, this article has merit, but EVERYTHING in moderation, including moderation.
I read with interest your review of Marie Kondo’s book. This article and your review are thought-provoking. I’d like to add a thought I haven’t seen clearly in the comments so far, although the comment by H.C. touches on it. It seems to me that the “throw it out if it doesn’t bring you joy” attitude is rooted in wealth. As H.C.’s example shows, it was common for people growing up in the depression to save everything with potential use. Why? Because replacements cost money. To live a lifestyle in which you jettison everything you don’t use now, and then have to re-buy if needed in the future, costs more. Only the relatively wealthy can afford to agonize over how much stuff they have and then come up with this spend-thrift way of dealing with it. You can afford to throw out all your empty jam jars only because you’re got the money to drive to the Container Store and buy a glass designer container when you feel the need.
A related issue is that some lifestyles require way more stuff. We used to live on a small ranch. We and all our neighbors kept old pieces of bailing wire, metal bars, used fence posts, old sinks and stray pieces of wood. The reason is that a ranching life requires occasional use of a vast variety of items, most of which can be grabbed for free from the scrap metal pile or the left-over-wood in the barn. It would be economic insanity to throw out a piece of bailing wire because it didn’t “bring you joy,” and then next time you needed a piece, burn the gas to drive ten miles to the hardware store, buy a new roll of wire, cut off a piece and then take the remainder to Goodwill, only to repeat the cycle next time–and there will surely be a next time–that you need a scrap of wire. Also, the odds are that the hardware store doesn’t carry exactly the piece of steel you need, but the old pump handle beneath the corrugated roofing panels you tore off the old shed could be just the ticket.
We now live on two acres in Arizona, which also requires a fair amount of upkeep. My wife is a minimalist who kvetches about the number of tools, wood scraps, etc., that I keep in our three sheds (which are well-organized). But she’s happy when I fix something for free with left-over materials, saving a trip to the hardware store and my time, which at this stage in life is increasingly valuable. By having a wide assortment of tools and materials, some of which only get used every year or two, I save us many thousands of dollars a year in repairs. Just yesterday I appropriated sheets of used plywood that a neighbor had put out for trash. For 15 minutes to throw the wood in my pickup, and another 15 minutes to pull out the left-behind screws, I have a couple hundred dollars worth of plywood for my next project. I course I’ve got to store it in a shed until I need it, but it’s not like I’m going to obsess about its joylessness until I use it. (Please, let’s not get into a discussion about whether knowing it’s available actually brings me “joy” or not.) Some of you have enough money to say, heck, if I need the plywood in the future, I’ll just go to Home Depot and spend the $200. That’s certainly a fair option, but, as I said, it’s only possible because we Americans are wealthy.
To me there is something awesomely indulgent and hermetic in people who live a “joyful,” clutter-free life based on re-buying what they need when they need it, regardless of whether it makes economic sense. This attitude, enabled by wealth, is a self-indulgence only possible because of the high standards of living and simplified lives in the late 20th and 21st centuries. The irony is that this wealth brings us both too much stuff and the option to buy something, discard it, and then buy it again.
I could not agree more. So often you see this in people of all ages in America – immediate satisfaction/assessment, . Sometimes people save staff because they see something it could become or it can serve a purpose. I am not a collector or a hoarder but I grew up in one room or a two bedroom apartment when other room belong to a different family. My parents still found way to save things from the time I was born and they did not need boxes or shelves. I think sometime people save things because you feel like you need it in that moment, in that stage of life. If you changed, if your thinking changed about the object and you no longer connected to it then let go. It is something that is lost in this motto – get rid of staff. Because it takes identity of staff out of it. Once you looked at that object and it meant something to you, that’s why you saved it. If you no longer remember the feeling or thought then it is true that object is now is just “staff” and it should leave. Obsessing about how much staff you have/had/lost/moved/etc. won’t change how you value/perceive/save/collect staff. Every time I would go overseas to visit my family I would bring bags filled with memory-related things. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer and eventually died it put things in perspective. I would rather spend more time playing soccer with my kids using nothing more than than a ball and a backyard and watching a rented movie with my husband then worrying about amount of staff I have. It is a circle of life. Things that surround us represent us. If you are bothered with clutter you need to change your way of thinking and move forward. Keep looking at the past and focusing of decluttering and using it as a main life focus is just, in my opinion, an unwise spending of precious life moments. Make getting rid of things that no longer have meaning a part of your life circle. Something you do regularly every week, every day is too soon it is difficult to keep up, every month is too overwhelming. If you can evaluate things weekly however small or big they are then you have a natural flow to your life when things come and things go, and things are kept because of a reason that is clear to you, that’s what I do in our family life.
If not having stuff works for you that is great. I like my stuff. Most of it came out of free piles or was left out on trash day. With the exception of my tools. I make things out of stuff. For years I had a pile of stuff amassing. Then one day that became the small house out in the woods overlooking the creek. Another big pile became the new wood shop. A smaller pile became the greenhouse. The old axle bearings became the thing our mailbox swings on. Another axle bearing and the motor from an old treadmill will soon be pumping water from our pond to the greenhouse. A piece of stainless I salvaged from an old gas grill is the face plate of a piece of professional looking audio equipment. Old truckcaps and wood become sheds for equipment. One was turned into a building large enough to house my sawmill.
I have broad classifications of stuff. Stuff I like, stuff I have a use for, stuff that was too good to be trash. I am liberal with giving stuff away. A friend was fed up with his enamel sink and was looking for a stainless one. Poof. Sitting right in the tall grass. I am forever offering stuff to people looking for things on freecycle. I don’t post to give stuff away, but if someone can use something, I am generally happy to help.
I don’t see the problem. You do not need to live the way I do. That’s the beauty of it. You can live with nothing if you like. Please have the same respect for how I live as I do for how you live.
I have the smallest house on the street, and am one of the few whose car fits in the garage (and i’m one of the only with just a one-car garage…). My colleagues think that I’m very organized, and a minimalist, because i have not had paper on my desk for over 10 years. Firm believer in “one in, one or two out.” Have taught my daughter to get rid of stuff, too. Very proud of how little I’ve accumulated.
Not so. At least, not as good as i thought. our foreign exchange students, when asked, all say, “yeah, you have a lot of stuff. maybe not as much as other people on the street, but there’s a lot in here.”
Either you have no more need for material possessions than a hamster, or you have failed to achieve even the modest financial success necessary to acquire them. I neither horde nor ‘collect’ but a respectable cache of food, clothing, furnishings, technology, and CASH in the BANK are simply evidence that we are no longer cavemen, but have gained some measure of creature comfort, and control over our environment. Why would any sane person attempt to demonize the one thing that sets present day man apart from savages?
We have a lot of clutter. We also have a lot of books, which I don’t consider clutter but they do take up a lot of space. It is very hard to throw almost any book away.. we were raised to respect libraries and information so much before there was Internet to look up anything you wanted. I see the value in even a 1920s science book because it is a snapshot of thought at that time that isn’t going to be the same read in an article on the Internet. We are also both ‘mechanic’ types and there are tools, screws, hinges, hooks, paint, glue, wire etc etc.. stacked in strategic boxes – his and hers sometimes, when he doesn’t want me going through his! … so we almost always have anything we need but we do ‘pay’ for it by having it stacked here and there making our living space look like the workshop it is so often used as, half-finished projects included as there are always half-finished projects someone isn’t ready to either finish or give up on yet. And then throw in a child, and the toys as mentioned above – who can get out of the store every time, especially when they are young, without acquiring something? That took us years to impart.. and sometimes still she can’t leave without at least considering finding something under 3.00 she must insist on buying with her own money. And the mail – papers from school, from the mail, insurance papers you aren’t sure you CAN throw away, receipts, invoices, instruction manuals, etc etc… laundry, actual donation items that don’t make it donation because no one has the time, and then the old clothes that ‘should’ fit but no one wants to wear them or give them up etc… sometimes it truly seems we are fighting a losing battle.
Dear M: For me, you have hit the nail in the head with “I see the value in even a 1920s science book because it is a snapshot of thought at that time that isn’t going to be the same read in an article on the Internet…” I hold on to many of my law school books because I think that even if some law changes, and is not good any longer, those books give a snapshot of the social/legal thought of that time!
I’ve been making money (and acquiring more Stuff)…. By decluttering other people’s cluttered spaces… For the last fifteen years.
The relief my clients experience with a clean, sparsely decorated space is obvious.
Besides, it’s not a bad way to feed my antiquing habit. 🙂 I upcycle, re-home, and trade items for things or services I need.
In my case, taking advantage of people’s desire to rid themselves of clutter is my economic hustle.
Being that I’m in Alaska, I travel to some pretty remote places – you’d be amazed at how much Stuff people will take into the Bush.
Wall St., Madison Ave., and DC together create a mirage that one can afford so much. In reality, the threshold of affordability is much lower. (That is why debt is such a serious issue. In my view, the real income is HALF of after-tax dollars.) In other words, more stuff sold is more economic activity. Short of the sickness of being a hoarder, the way the system is set up, clutter can only be eliminated if one throws out an unneeded item immediately but is ready to buy the same item from the store if needed just a couple of hours later. Such economic activity makes the system so happy.
My husband and I have lived in the same 1400 sq ft house for 25 years and our secret to not accumulating too much junk is not having a garage. Although sometimes I really wish we had one, I also know that it would be jammed full of junk if we did. As it is, we have the guest room which sort of doubles as a “junk room” but which we have to clean out when actual guests come to visit (don’t look in the closet!) so it stays somewhat within control. The lack of a garage means if we bring something large into the house, something else must be eliminated to make room for it. This house doesn’t have any large closets so once they got full, that was it. We have no pantry in the kitchen, so there’s a natural limit there also. When people try to give us things we have to say, truthfully, that we have nowhere to put them! We have to limit things like Christmas decorations to what we can fit in plastic containers under the bed. (We don’t have an attic, either.) We do have two small plastic sheds in the yard where we keep the few things that a garage would hold that we really don’t want in the house, like cans of paint and gardening supplies. We still have too much junk but it’s not overwhelming to think of downsizing from here. We began life together in a 700 sq ft apartment and I can see us easily going back to that if we had to. As long as it has two bathrooms!
I just really don’t know about so much ado, regarding so much flap about this clutter/hoarding scenario.
Primarily, I believe people are entitled to live however they choose; clutter/hoarding included. If a home is almost empty of “things”, that should be fine too, shouldn’t it? If not, then why not?
As long as ones yard isnt overgrown and a hazard for the congregation of buggies and creepy crawlies, along with the diseases they can harbor and spread to humans, who cares? If you do not like that someone has “too many” things in their home, just don’t go in there. Live and let live.
Who says that everyone with lots of “stuff”, was poor as a child? Depressed or has been rejected, has lost something important to them, or some other such symptoms of various psycho babble? OR that the person with very little in their home, is somehow preferable to someone who, conversely, enjoys their stuff?
Inside ones home, the pursuit of happiness should rule…whether that’s too much stuff or too little, depends upon who’s observing, and judging, doesn’t it?
If one can safely navigate from room to room, with all the essentials easily available, with no tripping hazards, and everything is reasonably sanitary and functional, who’s business is it really, just how much “stuff” is in that home?
To parents who clean out and find that their grown kids don’t want any momento’s from their childhood, perhaps you should save it for the value it has to yourself and destroy it, as you get to an age of being concerned about what will happen to it. You’ll have your memories and you’ll know exactly what happened to it and when. If kids are so put upon by cleaning out their parents homes of 30 or 40 years, they can hire someone else to do that. In most cases, those same kids are inheriting the property…so the least they could be bothered to do, is remove a lifetime of someone’s memories before they sell the home or move into it. Different world today. Different thinking in kids and grands. Accept that and carry on.
I say: Keep what you want. Get rid of what you don’t. Up to you. But someone writing a book about the why’s and wherefore’s of what you SHOULD and should not have in your home, engendering anxiety in the multitudes, and causing stress as well, is ridiculous. By all means, if you feel the need to either reduce, or ramp up your amount of “stuff”, do it. It’s your home, your life and your business, after all. I don’t believe either choice makes one sick, lazy or in need of psychological help. Besides, who says that too much or too little is important in the greater scheme of things? If it doesn’t bother you, why should it bother anyone else. Your home. Your rules.
Live happy, but should we really be looking for “joy” in the ABSENCE of stuff in our homes? And the misery of being made to feel that we have “too much” in our homes is silly. Don’t we know best when to clean our closets, dresser drawers? When to move a box that we’re tired of looking at? I think we all do and if it doesn’t bother us, to make our OWN decisions, it shouldn’t bother anyone else either.
If you suddenly realize you have a problem with your stuff, from reading a book from the latest guru on the subject, that’s great. By all means, make changes as YOU see fit. The rest may do better to make our own judgments about how little or how much stuff we want to have, and live happily ever after.
For the record: I am someplace in the middle of the stuff dilemma. I have stuff I’ve had for 30 years and no, I’m not getting rid of it anytime soon. My home is clean, floors are clear of everything except furniture that we use daily, and it’s safe to navigate. I do have some storage boxes in both the basement and 2 closets in the upstairs. They contain things meaningful to me and/or my husband. We know what’s in them and accessing them is easy. Just open the closet door and there the boxes are, in the back of the otherwise unused closets. My basement contains things we probably WILL get rid of, in a few more years when we downsize. And my study contains two, sizeable, floor to ceiling book shelves, which are full with books. Well organized, thank you very much. These are books we still read and enjoy. If I like looking at them, and re-reading them every few years, especially my favorite classics, that’s entirely my beeswax. No one elses. What else should BE on a bookshelf, after all?
I have two pairs of bell bottom, belly bearing pants from, I-won’t-say-when, and yes, I still fit into them and have worn them to period parties over the years. And no, they’re not going out until I do, unless they fall apart first! LOL
We also have lots of pictures from our many memorable years together and raising our family and other special and fun occasions in our lives. And they’re not going either. Some are on disc, but others are still print photo’s which I wouldn’t trade for much of anything I can think of. There’s just something about flipping through an old photo album! Those too, have their special place in a closet. And they’re staying there, too. On display, in a guest room, I have my Grandmother’s quilt and also, her wash basin and pitcher, which was inherited from her Mother. It matters to me and I so enjoy the colors and the designs. As much today, as I always have. I will bequeath them to someone special, who loves those things almost as much as I do. And I have several very old pics of the fine women who enjoyed them years before I was born.
Sooo, wanted to put in my two cents worth on this subject, because I think we may get too easily led down the yellow brick road these days, with other people telling us how to order our lives, how to think, and what to do with, and about, our stuff, along with what it should or shouldn’t mean to us, as individuals.
Live happy!
Everything in moderation folks……it seems that “hoarding” is the new buzz word to guilt us into marginalization. Do what is comfortable for you, your budget and your sacred space. It’s your life….make your own statement.
I’ve lived on three continents/place (Africa, Middle East, and U.S) for about 10 years each. So, I can compare how my life has changed over the years relative to the culture I’ve lived in.
To provide a more precise comparison, I’ve had to consider the times when our financial and family units were similar.
After deep with some data backed evaluation, I really didn’t find any major differences. The human condition tends to favor hoarding and accumulation as a survival mechanism. We are constrained by nomadic (moving constantly) or rental lifestyle (less space and more likely to move).
The main differences between our lives in the U.S versus abroad is home remodeling (inside and outside/landscaping). My dad never hung a painting or painted a wall or checked his tire gauge or cut a blade of grass while living abroad. These are performed by skilled workers not weekend warriors buying supplies and tools filling up our garages and ‘extra’ sheds.
Second, it’s cleanliness and organization. Their is a social price to pay in Africa and the Mid East if your home and surroundings are not very organized or clean. In the U.S, we do tend to do less ‘to impress’ people, so that removes a sometimes necessary force/incentive for us to minimize or organize our clutter.
As my mom (and aunts and both grandmother’s) always says – “once you organize your stuff, your clutter will disappear”.
I’ve always felt that if we need more space for our stuff or more containers for our stuff, we probably need less stuff. Living in an urban area, more space is expensive, and hanging on to, for example, 50 wires for obsolete electronics we no longer own makes no sense when we can repurchase the one we might eventually need on the internet.
I find myself treasuring our vacations and camping trips, which require us to take what we need for that time, and no more. Such a small set of things to maintain and keep track of!
My mom and MIL were both pretty ruthless about purging everything they didn’t need or want, because they had cleaned out their parents’ houses before them, and it wasn’t fun or pretty. I hope to leave my kids with a similarly small and carefully-chosen pile of items, and not the quagmire currently in my basement!