Why Do You Want to Be Rich?
Published on - May 31st, 2009 (Modified on - September 21st, 2009) (by J.D. Roth) I’m not the only one who has been thinking about the relationship between money and meaning lately. This is a guest post from CJ at WiseMoneyMatters.com, who is trying to live a rich life even as he works to pay down debt.
I love this quote from Dr. Edwin Louis Cole because it gives me a heart check. It helps me understand my motives for doing what I’m doing.
You see, my goals are to become completely debt-free. I’m getting closer and closer to that goal. Within the last few months, I downsized my house, doubled my income, and was able to pay off all of my debts except for the mortgage. So now all I have left is about $100,000 to pay off before I am completely debt-free.
In order to get to those goals, I’m working extra hard. I work a job that has a great schedule: ten hours a day, four days a week. While that’s nice, it’s 45 minutes away, so I get very little time with my wife those four days.
Then I use my three-day weekends to work on side jobs. I’m a D.J. and videographer for weddings. I also work on my blog, WiseMoneyMatters.com. I do everything possible to earn extra money to help pay down debt.
And, of course, I try to be as frugal as possible. My wife and I are on a strict budget. We each get $100 per month for play money (this includes new clothes, eating out, coffee, etc). Groceries are limited to $200 per month. Everything else goes towards bills or savings.
Be careful what you wish for
I’m on the right track toward getting out of debt and becoming rich. I’m doing all of the right things. But why? Why do I want to be debt-free? Why do I want lots of money? I know intellectually that money doesn’t always bring happiness, yet we all strive for more of it, and sometimes at the expense of our own families.
I know too many guys who have built very successful businesses and made large amounts of money and had their family fall apart. I used to be envious of them and what they had. Now I just feel sorry for them.
They wanted riches so bad that it consumed them. They have nice houses and brand-new cars, yet are completely alone. Many celebrities find themselves in similar circumstances.
I hear stories all of the time on personal finance blogs and podcasts about how the drive to get out of debt causes significant conflicts in the home. One spouse goes crazy frugal while the other is a spendthrift. Money-related issues are the leading cause of divorce these days.
What’s the point?
Let’s say I accomplish my goal of becoming completely debt-free. What then? What will I do with all of that extra money? I’ll probably save for retirement. That’s the next logical step, right? But it all just seems so superficial.
I’m spending my whole life working my butt off so I can be lazy the last 10-20 years of my life. Something about that just doesn’t sit right with me.
I want for there to be more purpose in life than just a selfish dream of ultimate laziness. I want to make a difference in this world. I want my life to be meaningful.
My purpose
My wife and I decided to give our money away. If we’ve been blessed this much, I feel it’s important to bless others.
We have set aside 20% of our income just for giving to charity. My wife takes girls from our church youth group out to lunch. She just talks with them and helps them through those tough situations that come up for teenagers. We sponsor a girl in India via Compassion International. We give to Teen Challenge to help teenaged boys with drug addictions. We donate both our time and money because time is as valuable (or more so!) as money. I tutor some of the boys in math every Friday. And, finally, we give to our church and to our community.
We also set aside $100 per month for date nights as my family is of utmost importance to me. We take out my wife’s 11-year-old brother every week. He comes from a broken home where his mother is addicted to drugs and brings new boyfriends home all the time. He needs a little stability.
I can tell you that I find so much more satisfaction seeing people’s lives changed than I do watching my mortgage go down another $1,000. I find I am much wealthier than I can imagine, even if I might not be considered “rich”.
Now don’t get me wrong: We are still saving and planning to pay off our mortgage early. Those things are very important to us. But without a purpose, they don’t really matter.
Don’t let the prospects of tomorrow come at the expense of today.
What’s your purpose?
So I challenge you: What’s your purpose?
If all of your dreams come true and you pay off debt and make millions of dollars, what’s the point? Is it to satisfy your selfish desires? Or are you going to make a difference? Are you going to pursue those riches at the expense of your family? Or will you set boundaries in order to spend time with the kids, and to take your wife on dates?
Why do you want to be rich?
CJ’s article reminds me of another guest post from last December, in which Jeremy M. asked, “What’s your why?”
This article is about Giving, Relationships
SEARCH FOR RECENT ARTICLES
“I’m spending my whole life working my butt off so I can be lazy the last 10-20 years of my life. Something about that just doesn’t sit right with me.”
How about, “I’m doing a job which I’m not going to be able to do when I’m at retirement age” (something physically demanding, or no job prospects for older people) so I’m saving up for when I’m no longer able to do this job. I don’t fancy working in a supermarket check-out just to pay the bills come age 70.
Just a thought…
loading....
The idea that not being in debt somehow needs justification sound absurd to my European ears.
Why do I want a lot of money? Because I want to be master of my own time instead of being forced to sell my time. Time is a precious and finite resource. We can never buy more. So don’t get into debt because then you’re selling your future time and you might need it for yourself or your loved ones.
loading....
Thanks for all of the great comments. I’d like to address a few basic “self-righteous” comments. I don’t mean this in a self-righteous way though I can see how it could be taken that way. This was sort of a post aimed at myself rather than the world but I thought it could help others as well. Think of it more as a journal entry that I decided to post online. In that light, I hope you will see it less self righteous.
Someone mentioned that I contradict myself working so many hours but stressing the importance of family. That’s exactly my point. I want to be able to be home more. So it’s a struggle balancing family with trying to make money.
@Kelley #47
We actually have tried to get custody of my wife’s little brother. It’s a lot harder than you think. In fact we have called CPS 3 times (due to neglect) and had meetings with them as well as law enforcement who deal with such family situations. They basically all said that unless she is beating him (she’s not) that there’s not much they can do.
loading....
“We have set aside 20% of our income just for giving to charity.”
It just seems out of line with trying to accumulate wealth. You can always donate time instead of money.
loading....
JD, thanks for finally giving us a post that suggests giving money away! Living frugally has let me live comfortably and save for the future while still having money left over to give to things I think are important.
And as for whether charity should be a quiet thing – sure, I would avoid bragging to friends about giving money away, but I also think it’s important that we create a culture of giving – it’s important for people to know that you can give away your money, and you can do it without being a saint. Set goals – give 20% of your money away – other people are doing the same thing.
loading....
I am still astounded by couples who manage to spend so little on groceries. My husband and I theoretically budget $400/mo for groceries, but generally ending up spending between $500 and $600. (For the record, this does include everything that we buy at the grocery store, including pet food, cleaning supplies, etc., but most of it is food). I’m sure that if one of us didn’t work, we could do it more cheaply. But we simply don’t have the time or the energy to commit to cooking on such a strict budget. Our food expenses are our biggest financial struggle these days.
loading....
I think that “ultimate laziness” is a really offensive way to describe retirement. It’s more accurate to say that saving for retirement is saving for financial security during a phase of your life when the aging process inevitably takes its toll and many people develop health problems that prevent them from working anymore.
Even absent serious health conditions, do you really want to be working at age 70? I think not. I doubt most of us will have the stamina for anything but a p/t job at that point.
So to prepare for 25 or 30 years in retirement (not 20) most people will have to work very hard to ensure they can fund that kind of lengthy time in retirement.
Doing something becus you want to is a lot different than doing something becus you have to, as well.
I save for retirement (an early one, at that) becus i’m tired of working for others’ goals, profits and objectives. I want to pursue my own interests and dreams without being at the beck and call of an employer.
loading....
I’m at such an early stage in my PF journey that I hadn’t even thought about being “rich”. I want to be spending money in alignment with my values, giving more to charity. I’d like to never stress about covering the bills as they come in, and to use money as a way to support green businesses and life choices.
But rich? I suppose if I do all these things well for long enough, I will eventually become rich. Hopefully that won’t change my life much.
loading....
I agree with the author’s point about balance — but I’d like to add that there’s more to retirement than just the financial planning angle.
Something people tend to forget is that statistically speaking, we can expect to spend ten years of our life with some kind of mental or physical disability. (Disability-free life expectancy falls short of life expectancy). Many of these health problems come from years of abuse we heap on ourselves — like a poor diet, lack of exercise, alienation from friends and family, and high stress levels.
My focus has always been to live within my means so I can make time for friends and family and to stay in good health. (And yes, that means giving up opportunities like working a second job). You can’t buy these things back no matter how much money have in retirement.
loading....
“I’m spending my whole life working my butt off so I can be lazy the last 10-20 years of my life. Something about that just doesn’t sit right with me.”
Of course it doesn’t sit right! It’s a very uninformed way of looking at retirement. Most retired people I know are crazy busy with volunteering, learning, working on hobbies, travelling, spending time with their family and friends, etc. Seeing these people as “lazy” is to completely dismiss the contributions they’re making to their churches, communities and the lives of others.
In many cases, people who are retired are carrying the balance of volunteer work because working generations are “too busy” for things like that.
But I agree with the point about seeking balance right now. These busy people I know didn’t suddenly become that way at retirement. They made time (and room in their budget) for these things throughout their lives.
loading....
Love, it! I started Mountain Conditions with these exact thoughts in mind, how to become debt free while not sacrificing the family. We find things that are family friendly and free, like hiking, biking and free days at the zoo and local museums. The bonus is that we have rediscovered the wonderful outdoors and learn more about Colorado.
loading....
I want to be debt free so I can buy fast cars, big boats, and travel in style…..
is that so wrong?
but seriously, I save now so that if one day I can no longer do what I enjoy to do, I won’t have to flip burgers to pay my mortgage.
In the meantime, if I happen to get rich, then I will enjoy seeing the world and give at the same time. I have not problem treating myself now (and in my last 10-20 years).
You are all working hard, no need to feel guilty about enjoying your hard work.
loading....
Russ, I love the way you think. Husband and I are childfree by choice as well, and are atheists. I don’t know if you are, but I believe in what you believe. Thanks for posting! Made my day.
loading....
I have several goals. One is to be able to take care of myself should I become unable to work. One is to be able to take care of my husband, who is older than me and less healthy, should he require it. One is to be able to visit far-flung family and friends at least annually. And one is simply to pay the bills every month, with a little left over, for as long as I need to.
It helps a lot to have something to work towards. Otherwise, why not have a daily Starbucks and a new car every few years? It’s fine to want those things, I just want those other things more.
loading....
Excellent article. Thank you.
loading....
I could care less if i was rich. i just want to be in a good state of being. and when i say that i mean not having debt, giving to my family, to charities, to offering and of course having my own pleasures
loading....
The paper chase can hurt. I want to be debt free but then again I don’t want to miss out on life.
loading....
Comments like Alan’s (#1) boggle my mind.
“I don’t want to be rich. I just want to have enough money so I can stop working at a young age, buy cars and a house without having to incur debt, travel the world, and give away large sums of money. That’s all.”
That kind of lifestyle will require MILLIONS of dollars in assets. I think either their definition of “rich” is out of whack, or they simply don’t understand how large of a nest egg is required in order to generate that kind of reliable, perpetual income stream.
loading....
Kids are the main the reason to be rich, at least to me.
loading....
I’ve always thought that my desire to be rich is to be able to travel the world and experience the different cultures that is out there. I feel that it is so often something we lack — knowing how other cultures live, and being able to interact with people of a different country will enrich my life than anything material.
And then after I’ve decided I was done with travelling, my goal in life has always been to be able to be a full time volunteer. Once I can support myself and live comfortably for the rest of my years without needing a job, I would really like to devote my life to more meaningful issues and to people.
loading....
Great post.but actually I don’t want to be rich.I just want to have enough money so I can spend my life without any tension in my mind and enjoy my life.
In my thinking,”life is like a ice cream before melt enjoy it”
thanks
loading....
I want to be rich. I want to be rich so I could afford luxuries. So I can pay off my parents house. So I can give my mother that white fence, balcony attached to the pool dream. My grandmother was poor, coming to the US to become a maid. Then with 7 kids, none of the 4 fathers there, she was gone most of the time to her country. My mother had to grow up in New York basically by herself, raising bother herself, her niece, and her nephew. They provided what every my brother and I wanted. But in the end, no matter how much money they send to hospitals, family in need, giving up drugs, Karma is not giving them any luck.
I want to be Karma for them. After I’m rich, and give my parents a good future, I want to buy a house with a couple of dogs. I want to live with my best friend and cousin, go to college, travel, work, and have a family.
I want a lot of things, but life is always going to cost money. I want to be rich…so I can give and be happy.
loading....
I have been poor all my life. I’m not poor now but I’m broke. I just completed college and I have tons of bills to pay. I want to obtain financial freedom. I am working on it. I want my kids to get the things I could not get. I want to be able to give my grandmother money to buys things she wants. I want my mother to get money. Being broke is not fun. That is my motivation to obtain wealth. I was poor growing up as a kid. I want to change it. I am changing it. I want to provide for my family.
loading....
Just the fact that I am responding to this forum, when I know it’s just to elicit my email proves my point. I want to be rich so I can get away. I want to sit on a hill and look down at my home. I want to bit silent for weeks and months on end without having to talk to anyone. I never really fit in society. To make a long story short, I always felt; from a child; people were cold and heartless. I always wished them well. My kindness was always repaid with betrayal. I want to be rich so I can enjoy peace and quiet. I do not want to work with another coworker who takes credit for my ideas, I do not want to work with another coworker who puts others down to make themselves look good. I an always alone. I have no friends. I am 53 and feel 83. I never hear my own voice unless I am at work, no one to talk to day in day out month in month out year in year out. Nothing but work. I want to be rich so that I can be silent, since I already am without worrying about money. I’d spend wisely so it would last. Not lucky in money or love. Living pay check to pay check with no life on top of it is maddening. I cry if the temperature changes. So sensitive I don’t think there is any hopes of me fitting in anymore. I used to have hopes. It’s been so long I don’t hope anymore. I think I am sane. I feel sane. I have given up. I want to be rich so that I could just sit and talk to God and read my bible. I would start a small quiet business. I know just what it is and just be peaceful. I don’t know if you can read between the lines. I just can’t take the rat race anymore. I understand why the lonely talk to themselves, I never thought I would understand this. I understand the hopeless though you wouldn’t know it to look at me. I am just tired of being pushed around. I have no more to give. I just want to sit and feel the wind on my face, watch the snow fall, watch the sun come up, listen to the birds, listen to the crickets, watch the squirrels, listen to soft music, google on the internet, run my business, sit by a warm fireplace. I want two dogs. I want to be there with them all day. I want a jack Russel and a chipoodle. I picked names out for them already. I want to be rich.
loading....
money is important whether you like it or not. with money comes many opportunities. i am from a average family i know what its like not being able to do the things i want. with money i could have learn gymnastics, i could have signed up for gym, i could have drove to college instead of walking everyday. different people have different goals in life. i am only 20 years old, i believe i am the youngest here. for me, once you have enough money to be financially free, you will be stress free as well, which means more time for your family and friends. i do agree with you that we should have a purpose, but this does not have to be related with money. one could have tonnes of money and live a meaningful life. no matter what it is, as long as you are happy and you don’t hurt anyone else. its fine with me.
loading....
Well . . .
I wanna be rich too.
I am sooo much mad about being rich.
But I also don’t miss enjoying and I’m on no such strict diet lol
I mean no such strict expenditures.
I earn like a mad dog so that when that dog returns home,he does not need to wag his tail in front of his master to get food.
I aim towards sustainability and security.
Rest everything follows.
loading....