4 signs you hate your job & 5 things you can do about it
Over the summer, I read a book that likened a miserable job to hanging onto the edge of a cliff. I thought it was an appropriate analogy. Like most people, I’ve been there, and that’s totally what it feels like. You know you have to let go, but letting go is scary. You could land in a better spot, or you could meet your ruin.
The author argued that sometimes, letting go of that cliff is gradual, but once you do, you usually experience success. She had examples, but I imagine there are plenty of “letting go” stories that didn’t turn out so well.
Still, I’m a fan of letting go of things that don’t serve you well. I also understand that some don’t feel this is an option — for financial reasons or otherwise. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately: How do you know when you’re on the edge of a cliff? What can you do about a job you hate, and how do your finances fit into the equation?
4 Signs You’re Over Your Job
1. You Feel Taken Advantage of
In my experience, this is the first sign that you’re mentally done with your job: you feel more than just unappreciated; you feel your boss is taking advantage of you. It’s one thing to not get a pat on the back; it’s another to feel you’re being manipulated.
In my own experience, failing to speak up for myself has led to this situation. Some bosses viewed me as the good little worker bee who didn’t give them trouble. Thus, if they had outrageous demands, I was the first person they’d go to, because I was the easiest. I’ve learned to slowly break myself of this meekness and set a boundary between being a pushover and being a hard worker.
A study from Florida State University backs up my experience. It found that when given an unreasonable amount or type of work, loyal, dutiful employees became jaded. When workers felt they were being taken advantage of, researchers found a 50 percent decline in “helping behavior” and a 35 percent increase in “anger at supervisors.”
2. Getting Fired Doesn’t Sound Too Bad
I was once contracted on a project known throughout its company for being, frankly, a s*&t show. Workers were expected to put in 50 hours a week for no other reason than to showcase their dedication. The project was so miserable, even seemingly kind colleagues would throw each other under the bus if it meant saving themselves. My cube mate, Ron, hated the project.
Once, I went to pick something up from the printer and found Ron’s resume in the lower tray. I discreetly handed it back to him. Slightly embarrassed, he laughed:
“Wow. That shows you how much I care about getting fired.”
If getting fired doesn’t sound too bad, it’s probably time to let go of that cliff.
(Side note: Ron did let go. Shortly after, he found his dream job and moved to Hawaii. An extreme but inspirational example.)
3. You Purposely Slack Off
That Florida State study also found that hard workers had a 25 percent decrease in productivity when they felt they were being asked to do too much.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve been there. In the past, I’ve purposely slacked off due to resentment. I was angry, frustrated and stressed out, and to protest, I passive-aggressively put in less effort. This is a really dumb thing to do because it doesn’t really get the point across. Instead of being sympathetic to your dissatisfaction, your boss is more likely to focus on the fact that you’ve turned into a slacker. Also, work ethic is something I mostly cultivate for myself. So, submitting half-assed work is doing myself a disservice.
4. You Feel Stuck
It’s a terrible feeling: the desire to move forward when your current situation is holding you back. You feel captive, and the more captive you feel, the more frustrated you get.
To me, this is the primary sign it’s time to let go. I don’t cope well with feeling stuck.
But letting go means different things for different people; my mom, for example, has felt stuck at a job, and her “letting go” was more of an emotional process. More on that later.
5 Things You Can Do About It
1. Find Something Better
If you feel taken advantage of, you probably feel undervalued. If you think you have a lot to offer a company, perhaps you can find something better.
However, you also have to consider what exactly would make you feel valued. For some people, that’s not always money. It might mean a better position or more time off or simply more praise. Finding something better might mean earning less, so you have to weigh the practical factors with the emotional ones.
Example: When I was a technical writer, I felt stuck. I knew the chance of switching careers and earning less money was high. So I asked myself some questions:
- What’s the likely difference in the amount of money I’ll be earning?
- How long am I willing to earn less before I decide to go back to a dissatisfying but more lucrative career?
- What lifestyle comforts am I willing to give up?
- How hard would it be to return to that career? How much would I earn upon reentry?
- Is it worth the difference in salary to try doing something I love?
My answers weighed more on the side of switching, so I let go.
2. Transition
Unless your job is weighing on your health, which does happen, it might be best to gradually un-stick yourself from a sticky situation. You can definitely take the plunge, and that might work for you, too. But the other option is getting your feet wet and gradually easing into unfamiliar waters.
“Easing in” might mean finding part-time work somewhere else until you can let go of your job completely. It might mean searching for another job in your free time.
3. Change Your Job Without Quitting
Can your feeling stuck be remedied by working from home? Would you be happier with a different schedule? If there are simple changes that could drastically improve your work life, it might be worth negotiating them with your boss before deciding to quit altogether.
There’s also the option of applying for a different position. If what you hate is something specific — your boss, your work environment, a project — perhaps it’s not a bad idea to simply change your position at your current organization.
Especially if you haven’t been there long, staying at the same company might also be better for building your resume.
4. Communicate
There have been at least a few times in my working life where I felt overworked and underpaid only to realize this was easily fixed with a simple conversation. Asking for a raise can be awkward, but many times, you won’t get one (at least not for a while) unless you ask.
Lately, I’ve been working on speaking up about my frustrations. I don’t throw a fit, but I’m learning to make issues known in a polite and diplomatic way. A few things have helped in airing my grievances effectively:
- Don’t get personal. I make the situation the issue, not my boss or the company. If I’m not getting paid enough, for example, I’ll bring up the issue of those darn budget cuts rather than blaming my supervisors or their decisions.
- Be honest. Your boss is a human being, so he or she can probably relate to why something bothers you. It might not hurt to simply be honest about the issue, but avoid talking about how it makes you feel and instead focus on why, logically, the situation doesn’t work for you: Not getting a raise affects your budget. Tackling another project keeps you from spending time with your spouse.
I was once honest about a time issue with my boss, and he responded: “Yeah, come to think of it, don’t send me anything after 6 pm. My wife’s been complaining that I work too much.” - Emphasize your work ethic. I try to remind my boss that I enjoy my job and that I’ll continue to put in loads of effort. I feel like this eases any concern that I’m only interested in what I’m owed and not what I can contribute.
Of course, I understand that “talk to your boss” might not be a viable option for all of us because some bosses are not open to hearing what you have to say.
5. Change Your Outlook
My mom has a story about the power of changing your outlook. She realizes this isn’t the best option for everyone, but sometimes, it is. I asked her to write about it:
“I used to work in retail — a job that was supposed to be a stepping stone. But before I knew it, I was there for seven years and growing increasingly dissatisfied and ungrateful. So I asked myself, ‘Do I change my environment or my outlook?’At that moment that I realized I had over-stepped this stone! So, I chose ‘change my environment.’ I went back to school to improve my chances of getting a better job. And that’s how I ended up at [my current] office job.
I was excited about my new job, and I enjoyed the work. But a year later, a new supervisor and new co-workers changed the atmosphere. It got so bad, I allowed it to affect my home life, which I regret to this day. So I found myself asking the same question: ‘Do I change environment or outlook?’ I felt unappreciated and ignored by the new supervisor and taken advantage of by co-workers. I chose, this time, to change my way of thinking, because I liked the work I was doing, and I had to think about providing for my young family at the time. I did my best to not allow my coworkers or environment get to me. I did my work and went home. Eventually, things got better.
Looking back, choosing to change my way of thinking not only helped me to overcome that work environment but also to grow as a person.”
My mom weighed the pros and cons of staying versus leaving and decided that staying was the best decision, financially and career-wise. At work, she shifted her focus to her family. She says it’s a decision that’s served her well.
Most of us have had a job that made us feel stuck. What did you choose to do about it, and how did you consider your finances when making your choice?
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There are 29 comments to "4 signs you hate your job & 5 things you can do about it".
This is a great list of ideas and concepts. One I’d like to add is maybe build your skillset. Maybe your current company offers tuition reimbursement? Or, maybe if you find yourself slacking off you can put your time to good use by learning a new marketable skill.
Both of these will help you when/if you decide to make the transition to a new company or job.
there is a reason i stumbled upon this discussion. i wished i listened to my previous manager when i applied for my current job. he said i will regret it. today i do – due to the office environment. i am here 2yrs already and hate every day i have to endure being here. still dont know what to do, but i am at least furthering my education.
I love this post! I am definitely over my day job. I plan on leaving soon and solely focusing on my freelancing.
Getting fired does sound easier and not too bad. I feel bad saying that but it is the truth.
Great post. It always makes the most sense to have a plan to leave a job, rather then quitting. Change is difficult, certainly if you have been at a job for many years. I have been with my current company for over 15 plus years and I have found when I look for new opportunities this is frowned upon.
I love what your mom wrote. I am currently in a job where I like what I do and the people, but the company is in flux and that makes everyone on-edge and makes me fear for my job nearly daily. I have to tell myself that I can search quietly for something new in my free time, but until something else happens I need to enjoy my job and give it my all. I need to work on my perspective!
Having been through job ups and downs, I think “make the most of it while I’m here” is a good attitude to have. Learn everything you can, network and prove your work ethic and you’ll have a leg up hunting for a new job if the worst should happen.
When people slack off, they’re shooting themselves in the foot. They’ll leave their bosses and coworkers with a negative impression, and burning bridges is never a good thing when it comes to careers!
Anyone who hasn’t ever been “over” a job is a very lucky person. I know I have definitely experienced situations like being taken advantage of or being affected by a toxic environment and I left. I found another job and didn’t look back.
Great post. I’ve experienced this feeling several times, and I have to say that the times where I had honest conversations with my boss about where things were (non-threateningly, of course) ended up working out the best. Employers like to take care of their employees, by and large, and you’re right, good communication from employees can work wonders!
Still asking these questions myself….
It’s all about being proactive – if you feel burnout coming up have all your cards in place and be on the lookout for another job before hand so you’re aware of the market and you can jump at the opportunity when it presents itself.
Also, look at a job this way: if you don’t like it, what can you be doing in the meantime to get you away from what you don’t like? Be building a business on the side? Use things like that to help motivate you to work harder on your own personal goals.
“Also, look at a job this way: if you don’t like it, what can you be doing in the meantime to get you away from what you don’t like? Be building a business on the side? Use things like that to help motivate you to work harder on your own personal goals.”
GREAT point. Sometimes, just knowing something is brewing around the corner is enough to put a little bit ‘oomph!’ into your work. Because I know I am only going to be here for 1 more year and 8 months, I am taking every stone being thrown in my face, with a big fat smile.
To be honest, the job, the company, and thep people are not bad. But I just feel like I am missing out on so much sitting here doing something that does not have an iota of meaning to me, other than paying the bills. I got this job 2 yrs after I graduated college with a lovely, but useless English degree…FROM FLORIDA STATE WHOOP WHOOP! :). 4 yrs later and I am still freakin’ here.
But, I’ve been steadily working on something on the side, got a part-time entry level job with a non-proft that I hope to work full time for (in a NON-OFFICE environment) after additional schooling, and am working towards adding additional investment properties as supplemental income (cuz we all know how little non-profits pay) before letting go of the decent paycheck for good. If I can stick this out for 1 year 8 more months, my lifestyle will do a complete 180, for the better, and I can leave the “race” and the commute (I walk 5 min to the non-profit) forever.
It’s this sweet sweet realization that completely turned my attitude around back when I was dreading the workday and hadn’t yet figured out what my next step would be.
This is SO ME right now. I definitely feel taken advantage of, and I am REALLY slacking off. And I’ve become jaded. I don’t think I’m hanging from the cliff yet, but I’m standing at the edge. Maybe it’s time to cut the cord altogether. I work for an airline, though and haven’t paid for a ticket in 5 years – that’s something I have to decide if it’s worth staying around for. Do I change my environment or change my attitude? Thanks for the timely post!
I can say my SO is in that position and then some. He’s currently working a survival job since there isn’t many positions for special ed teachers, at least not in the PDX metro area.
I’ve been working with him to find something else outside of the box in education but there are real limits, even with a Masters degree. Too many people, too few jobs and too many $$cuts$$ in the last few years.
His current commute is about 4 hours a day so it leave little time for networking and general research. The first step is to just get a position on this side of the west hills so there’s more time to strategize. As soon as he gets home, he crashes from exhaustion.
He is burning out big time. He never took PTO in his last position and now its been years since he allowed himself a day off (other than national holidays) out of fear.
_____________________
For me, I’m contemplating going back to school but finances are a huge concern. Unless I can get all of it paid for its not happening and loans are out of the question for a variety of reasons. For me getting out of my self-imposed isolation and networking with others would do a world of good.
Carla – for yourself, have you checked what adult ed scholarships exist that you might be eligible for? Try http://www.finaid.org/otheraid/nontraditional.phtml , http://www.fastweb.com/Scholarship-Search , and other links under an adult education scholarship search.
Another option might be using MOOC’s (massive open online course) – some charge but some are free, and I think they offer certificates when you’ve completed a course – it at least shows an employer you’ve had some training, if not a degree. Look at http://www.bdpa-detroit.org/portal/index.php?Itemid=20&catid=29:education&id=57:moocs-top-10-sites-for-free-education-with-elite-universities&option=com_content&view=article for more info.
For your SO, taking a different survival job closer to home sounds like a good stop-gap strategy. I googled “alternative careers for special ed teachers” and found http://www.csuohio.edu/offices/career/strategies/What%20Can%20I%20Do%20if%20I%20Can't%20Find%20a%20Teaching%20Job.pdf – maybe he can read this during his commute or on lunch break? Other links came up in that search that he might want to explore.
Good luck! Hopefully something here might be helpful.
Hi Laura,
This is extremely helpful! Thank you so much for looking this up for me. We’ve done a lot of research so far but sometimes another pair of eyes is helpful.
Ha ha, yes– It’s not rare to go from the frying pan to the fire! “Letting go” is no guarantee of magical results. But if you have something you really want to pursue, and it’s not just a pipe dream. then letting go of the old is a prerequisite, and one has to overcome the fear.
Auden said it in a really memorable way, and I enjoy repeating it a lot– “Look if you like, but you will have to leap.”
This is my life currently. Some days I’m so miserable at the thought of driving in to work, I wish something would “happen” to my car so I can be out of commission for some time. Awful, I know.
I like what I do just fine but the environment is beyond toxic. If I get a new job, I will leave but in the event that doesn’t happen, the earliest I can exit without something else lined up is Feb 2014. Don’t know how I will last that long.
sorry to derail this comment thread, but topic
https://www.getrichslowly.org/which-online-high-yield-savings-account-is-best/comment-page-10/
has a problem – only the first 500 comments are viewable, and there are (as I write this) 1751 comments in total
I have also been there, done that. Once I felt stresses, overworked, underpaid, manipulated by my boss and being taken advantage of every day. My blood pressure was really high for almost 2 years due to stress I experienced at work. But, luckily, I had another part time job, thus some income coming in every month as well as supportive husband. So I quit cold turkey. Took a break for a few months, recharged my batteries and found a job with no stress, 50% higher pay and less hours to work. Useless to say, my blood pressure went back to normal. Happy end!
Awesome article..I loved not only the way to recognise signs you’re over your job and also the solution. But when should you look for signs, after a month, year, years?
Mom’s advice is so practical: Do I change environment or outlook?
I was in a job I hated and would call off all of the time. I just didn’t care. When the economy went down the toilet in 2008, the company had 2 layoffs. I was disappointed when I wasn’t chosen.
We spend too much time at work to do something that makes us act in these ways. In the end, you have to look out for yourself and find a job that you enjoy doing. It might be scary, but after what you’ve been going through, can it really get much worse?
Great post!
I’m definitely over my job. I’ve dealt with so much crap working for different companies for the last couple of years. Recently, after I heard that I might get laid off from my current job, I saw that as an opportunity to pursue my dream. Then, later, when they announced they wanted to keep my team, I was actually disappointed. I feel bad saying that, but it’s the truth.
If it weren’t for the fact that I need the money to pay my bills, I would have quit already. I feel so trapped but there’s not really anything I can do. I’m a freelance web designer + blogger, and I want to do that full-time, but it’s hard when I spend 11-12 hours a day on my current job. It’s a cycle that’s so hard to break out of.
Great article. I have been slacking off a lot recently, but not actively. I just have no motivation. My organization offers no professional development, no room for promotion, and very little performance feedback. My boss is scattered-brain, rude, and a terrible leader. I feel I am not growing in any way. I’ve tried for two years now to change my outlook–definitely time for a change of environment. Financially I cannot quit cold turkey, but I’ve been applying and interviewing for new positions. It feels great to take charge of my situation!
Do we work in the same place? Get out of my head! 🙂
I walked into a college admissions office last Friday. That is my exit strategy. Ever since, I can see the light at the end of this tunnel and nothing about the job has bothered me as much. I still hate it, still hate my boss, but I know one day I am out. It is keeping me from having my weekly break down.
I will have to tighten my belt for a little bit (when I can no longer work full time due to classes) but I can prepare for it. A little less money for a season is nothing next to the 11 years spent here in this place.
Change your environment or change your outlook – I like this construct. I have chosen to change my outlook by continuing to give my best in my job while working on the side gig. My mum always said you should let the side gig become so successful that it pushes you out of the day job – I agree.
I’m ready to go off the cliff.
Somebody push me.
Please.
Well after reading the post, it is very reassuring to know I am not alone. I have been ramping down my current work and working on building up an alternate career. I think it’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
I can certainly identify with feeling a great deal of fear & trepidation with this transition, but it makes me realise that I am pretty much over my current work.
Thank you.
I am in a transition phase. I have started a new job in a field I have been trying to break into for about two years and couldn’t be more ecstatic about it. My bosses are great, my co-workers are nice and helpful, my day-to-day routine is actually fun and engaging and I feel like I am adding to something bigger than myself on the 2 projects I have been assigned already. The work week flies by and I look forward to my drive in the morning – which is only 10 minutes long because my new office is pretty much down the street from where I live! My wife’s job too!! It’s an ideal situation.
Now, on to the crappy part….the part that fits in with this article….
My former job, which is managing a small country club, is not letting go of me easily. I submitted my letter of recommendation almost a month in advance. I offered to help locate and train my replacement. (That offer was refused). Upper management at the club has been pouring on extra work during my last few shifts and also demanding, not asking, that I work extra hours. For this weekend, for example, they told me that I am being tasked with cleaning out our full-service kitchen. Usually they get a professional cleaning service to do that, but I think money is tight, so they want to cut costs. Since it’s the end of the season, they are just plunking it down on my lap. Also, out of the blue and with no warning, my boss basically ordered me into work an extra four hours earlier than I was supposed to be this coming Saturday so now I am on at 7AM instead of 11AM. This is not the first time our set schedule has been messed with out of the blue. I spoke to everyone important in my life – my old mentor from grad school, my wife, my parents – and we all came to the same conclusion. The upper management has taken advantage of me (and other employees as well) frequently. At this point, it’s not a matter of keeping promises that I have made to finish out the remaining weekend shifts I have. At this point, it’s about self-respect because obviously my bosses are not going to show any to me and are probably going to pile even more work on as the season draws to a close. My family and I decided that if they cross the line one more time, I am simply going to send an email to all of upper management stating that with all the schedule changes and extra work laid on me during my last few shifts, I feel I am being taken advantage of, that I will not work that way, and that I will not be coming back – sorry it had to end this way. They will have to find someone to fill the remaining shifts and it will probably be my boss who has to do it. She is the general manager and we do not have any maintenance staff left as they are mostly college and high school kids and are all back to school. I don’t want it to end this way. I want to just complete my shifts quietly and leave on a good note, but at the same time, the management there has crossed the line on several occasions and someone has to take a stand to send them a message. It might as well be me since I resigned anyway. There are other managers who work for the club and all of them have reported having similar issues with upper management. I hope those guys have the guts to write a letter to the Board of Trustees letting them know what tom-foolery is going on right under their noses. So, we will see what the next four weekends bring. Hopefully, it will go smoothly. That’s what I want to happen. But I swear that if they cross that line once more, I am out the door, never to look back. What about a positive recommendation you might ask…. How will that be possible? Easy. The last general manager who was there loved me and I can put his phone number down. He was let go after 11 years of faithful service with no reason given (which is the board’s prerogative), but he was incensed and really hates their guts now. So, I am sure he will have no problem standing in my corner, especially as we have been emailing back and forth about all the BS that has been going on there since he was replaced.
IM SO READY TO GET OUT – MANIPULATED, OVERWORKED, TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, ALWAYS HANDED EXCUSES WHEN ASKING FOR A RAISE, OVERWORKED, OH YA, SAID THAT ALREADY – WORKED LIKE A DOG DAILY – SO TIRED OF IT – AGGRESSIVELY SEARCHING AND WAITING FOR ANOTHER JOB – I JUST WANT OUT YESTERDAY!